Chapter Text
“Has it never occurred to you that you can be a selfish asshole?” Michael spat, his fists clenching at his sides. I flinch, but hold my ground. Mikey just didn’t understand, he’d only heard Luke’s side of the story.
“Oh, like this is all my fault? Screw you.” I scoff and Michael laughs bitterly, shaking his head.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is all your fault. I’m not the one who cheated on my boyfriend!” Michael shouts and I see tears start to form in his eyes. I would’ve felt bad if it weren’t for the fact that I hadn’t cheated on him.
“I never cheated on you! Mikey, I love you. Just give me a chance to explain!” I yell. He shakes his head, tears falling to the floor. I feel my chest clench and the tears start to come. Why won’t he just listen to me?
“No… I already know what happened. We’re done, Ashton.” Michael cries, before storming out of our hotel room. A rush of despair and emptiness crushes me and I fall to the ground on my knees. I look down at my shaking hands, trying not to remember a similar situation.
Not my fault. It’s not my fault.
Ghost hands run down my body and I rub my skin to erase the memories that have sunk in. I hadn’t wanted that man to touch me; I told him ‘no’ over and over again.
“Please… Don’t leave me.” I whisper, but nobody ever listens.
The Next Day…
My eyes were puffy the next morning and my skin was raw from my shower last night. I still hadn’t managed to make myself any less dirty though.
“Wake up. We have an interview.” Calum says coldly from outside my door and I rub my eyes. I wince as I slowly climb out of bed and get dressed. I can’t bring myself to look in the mirror or even at myself, so there is no telling what I ended up putting on. Even though I don’t want to, I open the door and head outside.
The boys spent the entire morning and interview ignoring me. I tried to talk to Michael but Luke and Calum glared at me every time I even came near him. Right now, we’re at lunch and no one’s noticed that I didn’t order anything.
“Look, what the hell is wrong with you guys?” I finally snap, throwing my hands in the air.
“I’m sorry, we don’t talk to people who cheat on our bestfriend.” Calum sneers and I want to slap him.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I didn’t cheat!” I exclaim and Luke sends me a murderous look, while Michael just stares.
“Except you did. I saw you come back with that guy!” Luke hisses, wrapping a protective arm around Michael. Anger bubbles in me and I know I should just shut up but the words fly out of my mouth.
“Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t want to?” I growl and when I get only confused expressions, I continue. “Did you ever consider that I didn’t want him to touch me? That I told him no, over and over again, and he didn’t listen. He didn’t stop. That even now, I can feel his disgusting hands all over my body.”
I start to cry and I can feel how dirty I am. How worthless I am.
Used. No one wants used goods.
“What?” Michael whimpers and I look into his shocked eyes. Luke and Calum have equally shocked and horrified faces. Michael flinches and I can only imagine the pain that must be in my eyes. That night, that man, had destroyed me.
“I. Didn’t. Want. It.” I tell him and then I run out, leaving behind Michael’s pained cries of my name.