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The moment Krolia approached him, looking older than she ever had, Shiro knew something was gravely wrong. She had always been young and sprightly, never showing her age, or weariness. But now, she looked so bone deeply tired.
“Please, tell me it’s not true,” he whispered. Allura clutched his elbow, whether it was to steady him or to hold herself up, he wasn’t sure.
Krolia’s eyes fell to the ground. “You know that this was always a risk with his wor-“
“Bullshit!” Shiro cried, “The war is over! It’s over! It was a simple recon mission! He’s not dead! I don’t believe it!”
Krolia flinched back, and Shiro felt a stab of guilt. This was her son, her son who she just watch die on a battlefield, trying to protect a group of innocent children. But he was angry. So angry. Why didn’t she try to do more? They didn’t even have his body.
“Shiro,” Allura whispered. Shiro realised he had been raising his fist, for what he didn’t know. Allura drew him into her arms, and together they broke down. Krolia quietly slipped out of the room.
“It’s not fair Allura, it’s not fair! Why Keith? Why him? He didn’t deserve it,” Shiro cried, pressing his face into her shoulder. His own grew wet with her tears.
“I know, I know. It’s not fair.”
They sat on the floor and cried together. Their three had become two, and they didn’t know how to continue.
It was easier to revert back to Admiral Shirogane and Queen Allura. They spent the next few days arranging for the other paladins to convene of the Atlas. They felt it would be better to break the news to their faces, before press got a hold of it.
Shiro lived full time on the Altas, while Keith lived - had lived, on Daibazaal, and Allura on Altea. It was difficult, sometimes, but they made it work. Both Allura and Keith spent a great deal of time on the Atlas for work, so they did get to see each other regularly. Whenever all three were on the Atlas, they spent a great deal of time in Shiro’s huge bed, just revelling in the easy intimacy. Surprisingly Keith was a cuddler, and he loved to be in the middle of Shiro and Allura.
The bed was too big and empty just for the two of them.
Keith had two funerals. One, small and private, just the way he would have liked it. The other, was a celebration of his work as Paladin and Blade Leader. He had touched so many peoples lives and hearts. They didn’t have his body, but a coffin was buried next to his dads back on Earth. It was a surreal experience.
Billions of people, alien and human, sent flowers, gifts, offerings and more to the site. There were alters dedicated to him in nearly every public space. There was talk of a documentary of his life’s work. A nebula was renamed in his honour. Kogane 371 was simultaneously Shiro’s favourite and least favourite nebula in the entire universe.
It was too much for Shiro. He locked himself in his room, only opening for Allura. Together they mourned their lover.
When Allura disappeared, Shiro and Keith had clung together. They hadn’t made anything official yet, but had a tentative, unspoken thing between the three of them. When she had reappeared a few days later, all three swore to never take anything for granted again. They jumped into their relationship, and honestly it was the happiest Shiro had ever been.
But now, Shiro felt that still, despite their promise, Shiro had taken Keith for granted. Keith had always been there, in Shiro’s orbit, that it was difficult to image it any other way. Shiro had forgotten that he could exist without Keith. He wished he had put his work away for him more. He wished he had taken racing when they were on Earth more. He wished he had excepted Keith and Allura’s invitation for spa night. There were a lot of things he wished he could have done.
The months following Keith’s death were rough. Allura and Shiro switched from being distant to being inseparable. Spending time together was difficult as it just reminded them of how much they missed Keith. The awkward pauses where he would usually fill the conversation, the space between them in their bed, the empty spot on the couch. Eventually, they started to learn to be a couple again, even if it did feel like a betrayal. It was what Keith would have wanted, and they did still love each other.
It got easier. Six months came and went, and Shiro stopped feeling quite so numb. The thought of Keith didn’t send him into tears anymore. It got easier with Allura. The other paladins kept close too.
The door to the control room slid open, to reveal the chaos inside. Shiro froze in his tracks. He hadn’t gotten any updates in the last few minutes. Like a ripple in water, his crew noticed him and froze.
“What?” Shiro asked, frowning.
Nobody answered at first, causing Shiro to frown even harder. “Well?” he asked. He stepped onto his podium, giving him a better view of the control room. Someone coughed, and Veronica was nudged forwards.
“Sir, we just got a hailing from an unidentified pod,” she said. Shiro waited for her to go one. That didn’t warrant the chaos. Veronica gulped and said quietly, “We think it might be Keith.”
Shiro dropped his coffee, the mug shattering into a million tiny pieces, taking his heart with it.
“Shiro? Why are you calling love, it’s the middle of the night here?” Allura’s voice was tired, but not upset with him. Shiro trembled, unsure how to break the news.
“It’s- it’s Keith,” he said. Allura gasped. “We found him. Allura, he’s alive.”
“Send me your coordinates, I will be there as soon as possible.” Allura stayed with him until she had to hang up, about to leave via wormhole. Shiro sat outside the med-bay in silence. He didn’t know how to feel. He had grieved for Keith, his heart was shattered for him, and now he was back. He was ecstatic of course, but where had he been for the last few months?
He had to be carried out of the pod, and immediately whisked to the med-bay, his injuries life threatening apparently. Shiro had only caught a glimpse of him, pale, limp, and smaller than Shiro had ever remembered him. Not even his status as Admiral was enough to get him in. He was desperate, because he couldn’t even believe it was true.
People trickled in and out around him. He caught a whiff of Allura’s Juniberry perfume, the one Keith had gotten her for her nameday. Pidge pressed a cup of coffee into his hand, Hunk, a pastry. It tasted like dry cardboard, but Shiro appreciated the sentiment. Lance provided quiet chatter. Krolia brooded in a corner, so like Keith it nearly brought Shiro to tears.
Hours, or maybe years later, one of the Atlas’ doctors approached them. Shiro stood, pulling Allura up as well. He slipped a hand around her waist while the doctor talked. Shiro didn’t hear any of it besides “It is Keith”, “gravely injured” and “unsure if he will survive”.
When it seemed like the doctor had stopped talking, Shiro pushed past him and into the room, Allura at his side every step of the way. They both stopped in the doorway.
It was Keith.
He lay still, covered in the blanket and bandages alike. He was deathly thin, and so so pale. He was covered in nasty bruises and cuts, some new scars too. But that wasn’t what drew Shiro’s attention. It was the huge, fluffy ears perched on his head, and the long and thin tail hanging out of the bed. It was the purple marking adoring his other cheek, so similar to Krolia’s. It was the magenta streaks that shot through Keith’s hair like dye.
Keith looked galra.
Allura gasped, and slowly stepped into the room. Keith’s ears twitched but he didn’t wake. She gently picked up his hand, and leaned down to kiss it. As though the physical touch proved that it really was him, she started sobbing, shocking Shiro out of his stupor. He too stepped forwards, and grasped his other hand.
Now that he was closer, he could see that Keith’s skin had taken a pale violet shade. He shakily pressed a kiss to his forehead. Shiro shared a small smile with Allura.
Keith was back. It would be rough, helping Keith recover, understanding what had happened, relearning how to be together again, but it didn’t matter.
Keith was home now. He was safe.