Work Text:
-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
CT: D --> Do you have a moment
TG: no
TG: wait
TG: yes apparently
TG: a future me just showed up
TG: he says hes taking over here
TG: is this important
TG: it sounds like it took a while and im not sure why id set up a time loop just to talk to a troll creep
CT: D --> Is that what happened
CT: D --> I had wondered, when I was 100king through your timeline
CT: D --> I am not sure I would say it is important e%actly
TG: then what
CT: D --> I merely wanted to talk to you a bit more
CT: D --> About your power
TG: what power
CT: D --> You possess the sword of legend now
CT: D --> That means you are the "king", correct
TG: sure yeah
TG: lord of all I survey and shit
TG: because I knocked a crappy ass sword out of a rock
CT: D --> I sense that you are perhaps less than sincere about this
TG: good sensing there man
TG: its just a crappy sword cmon
TG: I had a better one already anyway even if it was kinda cheating
CT: D --> But it is a symbol
CT: D --> Of your progress in your quest
CT: D --> Of your Knighthood and your capabilities as well as your authority
TG: man ive always been capable and authoritative
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> Good
CT: D --> Statements like that are why I am speaking with you
TG: youre pretty weird dude
TG: anyway point is i really don't think anyones going to listen to me cause ive got this hunk of metal
CT: D --> I could
TG: what
CT: D --> What I mean is
CT: D --> I am willing to take it as a symbol of your superiority
TG: youve really got your weird space boxers in a twist over this social class thing
TG: what is it theyve just rode up so high into your crotch that youre all worked up and squirming in your seat at a chance to crawl on the ground and lick my boots
CT: D --> That is completely depraved
CT: D --> For someone such as me to humiliate myself in such a fashion
CT: D --> The very thought arouses
CT: D --> Dangerous feelings
TG: haha WOW dude
TG: im not sure that come on could have been less subtle if you tried
CT: D --> Should I have been trying to be subtle
TG: well yeah
TG: i mean no
TG: i mean fuck
TG: you for real get all hot and bothered over being ordered around huh
CT: D --> You could put it like that I suppose
CT: D --> I have certainly already begun to perspire at the intimacy of having such a conversation with a redb100ded human
CT: D --> But your arrogant and dismissive attitude
CT: D --> Combined with your ability to treat me solely as a vessel for your entertainment
CT: D --> Is something I confess I find perversely appealing
TG: thats
TG: pretty creepy
TG: and also kind of weirdly hot actually
TG: but dont tell anyone i said that
TG: thats an order i guess
CT: D --> Ah
CT: D --> Certainly
TG: hang on i need to get somewhere safe if were going to have this conversation
CT: D --> Right
CT: D --> There are dangerous enemies about you, but it appears that as with many such f001ish lower creatures, they do not know how to open doors
TG: right
TG: doorknobs
TG: one of the deepest fucking tests of higher intelligence there is right there
TG: wait can you see me right now
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> I mean, not anymore
CT: D --> The room you just entered is too small for the viewscreen
TG: what so your weird voyeuristic trolling program cant even zoom in
CT: D --> It might be able to
CT: D --> But I don't
CT: D --> Feel it would be appropriate to ask someone right now
TG: you sure about that
TG: im sure all your troll friends already know about your fetishes youre not exactly subtle dude
TG: and right now youre missing out
TG: you could zoom in close and get a real good look at my dick
TG: thats what you want right
CT: D --> What
CT: D --> Are you saying
TG: im saying that ive got my pants open and my cock out and you could be getting a real eyeful
CT: D --> That is vulgar in the e%treme
CT: D --> And I believe
CT: D --> You are likely to be deceiving me again
TG: maybe maybe not
TG: see this is real power dude
TG: you dont show all your cards
TG: see if you told me you were kneeling on the floor with your dick in your hand id know you were telling the truth
TG: ive talked to you for like ten minutes and I can tell that
CT: D --> Do
CT: D --> Do you want me to be
TG: fuck
TG: man you really just straightup said that didnt you
TG: do trolls even have dicks
CT: D --> We
CT: D --> Have something of the sort, yes
CT: D --> Although I would certainly not stoop to use such 100d terminology
TG: whatever
TG: fine get on the floor
TG: get your hands on your strapping bone bulge or whatever right now
TG: have you done it
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> I am kneeling on the f100r as you order
TG: goddamn
TG: bet you wish you could be here
TG: kneeling before me for real and sucking my dick while you jerk yourself of like the perverted weirdo you are
CT: D --> I am not sure
CT: D --> That would be safe
TG: what
CT: D --> My unusual STRENGTH is sometimes dangerous
CT: D --> Although I would of course do as you ordered
TG: right i forgot youre the freaky hulk troll
TG: thatd be pretty good too though
TG: all that bulging muscle or whatever down on the floor and just wishing you could touch me
TG: though i guess you can do that right now
TG: so get to wishing
CT: D --> Very good
CT: D --> I am
TG: good
TG: keep doing that for a minute
TG: shit
TG: what am i doing
TG: this is weird shit to get off on
TG: you know that right
CT: D --> I know
CT: D --> I need a towel
CT: D --> No, I think
CT: D --> I need several towels
TG: dammit
TG: okay in a few minutes im going to go hop back in time
TG: and we will never speak of this again
TG: unless I tell you to
TG: understand
CT: Yes
CT: I mean
CT: D --> Yes