inessa



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Have more drinks. Go to the next bar. Then the club. The bass throbs and it’s like if your heart can follow the pulse of it, maybe it will keep beating. You’re the last ones left. You can’t go home, because home is where all the rest of it waits. Luca stumbles into you and blushes so easily with blue eyes so wide — desire that he doesn’t know what to do with as his gaze slides to your mouth like someone else you once knew.

    What’s the worst that can happen?

    Shane and Ilya had a plan. Ilya being outed by pictures of him getting a blowjob in an alleyway behind a club from Luca Haas was not part of the plan.

    A not-very-nice Hollanov infidelity fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,155
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    833
    Kudos:
    513
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    09 Jun 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Even when they had ostensibly been enemies, Shane had trusted Ilya not to hurt him.
    Except he does. In more ways that one.

    Or; Ilya involuntarily injures Shane during a game, igniting years of tension and resentment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,731
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
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    856
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    08 Jun 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya hurts Shane.

    It’s an accident, of course, but his mind goes to the only place it knows how afterwards: He deserves to hurt too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,895
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    194
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    4,195
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    994
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    41,383

    25 May 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
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    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
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    1,454
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    3,337
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    23 May 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya widens his eyes, moves his hands in an impatient “get on with it” motion. He has the urge to say it for him, end both their misery. Shane blinks rapidly a few times, takes another deep breath. “I want to stop,” he says simply.

    Ilya lets out one humorless laugh, “Stop what?”

    Shane ignores him. “At the All Star Game, I told you I liked you. And you said about Russia and your family. And I looked some things up. I get it. I get it better now. I know we can’t but I can’t stop wanting to be…more. Unless we stop.”

    OR

    Shane just wants to be friends and Ilya is, like, fine with that or whatever

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,096
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,518
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    3,930
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    21 May 2026

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