fieryphrazes



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    “Shane.” Ilya takes Shane’s head in his hands, squeezes his cheeks so that Shane looks puffy, absurd. Beloved. “I am saying that to me, even though you are retired, you will always be No. 1 hockey player. Fuck Wayne Gretzky.”

    That’s what does it, as Ilya knew it would. Shane rears back, spluttering, outraged, trying not to laugh.

    “Oh, I have committed blasphemy now. They will take back my citizenship, big crime, very sad.”

    Shane smoothes his hands along Ilya’s calves, rests his fingertips on Ilya’s ankles. “Fuck Wayne Gretzky,” he says. He looks like he can’t believe what he’s saying. Ilya wonders, distantly, if he can get it on tape to play back to himself when things feel particularly bleak. “We can live in exile together. I don’t care. You’re my, my best, my second best hockey player forever too.”

    --

    Shane decides he has to retire. Ilya, of course, will go with him.

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    30 Jun 2026

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    Ninety percent of everyone's problems could be solved by a robot that just texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn't have a robot.

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    30 Jun 2026

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    The only trick is to have no fear, and even less fear than that the more trouble one is in. Ilya cannot teach that to a man who has directed his energies into becoming, not like a saint, but like a painting of a saint, all dripping in symbolism: the way the robe drapes here, yes, that is on purpose, and the angle of the light, the patron’s face in the crowd, the instrument of the martyrdom in his hand and the fruit in the bowl on the table, all arranged except when—

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    25 Jun 2026

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    “Am I a bad friend?”

    Hayden has always been the guy Shane joked with, the guy he trusted to feed him without mocking him, the guy he roomed with on the road, and Shane is the only man who has ever seen Hayden cry, and Hayden loves Shane. He fucking loves him. They are like brothers, and they have been for almost ten fucking years. He’s always been Shane’s guy, Shane’s best friend.

    Except all along, maybe that wasn’t true. Ilya Rozanov, apparently, had been the guy. Before Hayden had ever met Shane, Ilya Rozanov had been there. And Hayden had never even noticed.

    Shane is all over every inch of Hayden’s life. Hayden thought that was reciprocal.
    +++
    “You know I think about you all the time,
    And my deep misunderstanding of your life,
    And how bad it must have been for you back then,
    And how hard it was to keep it all inside.”

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    16 Jun 2026

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    When Paramedic Shane Hollander and EMT Hayden Pike start working nights, they expect to spend their shifts getting fucked over by Response Paramedic—and notorious asshole—Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane does end up getting fucked, just not in the way he was expecting.

    (shane just wants to do his job and ride the ambulance. ilya thinks shane should be riding him, instead.)

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    11 Jun 2026