ashtrays



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.

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    28 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "Fucking moron." Cliff mutters. "Who doesn't like eating pussy? Well. I mean." He darts a glance out of the corner of his eye.
    Rozanov chuckles into the mouth of his beer. "Marley, you know how much pussy I've eaten?"
    "I just meant--I wasn't trying to be insensitive. I know Hollander's gay."
    "Mm. True, Shane would cry." He tilts his beer into his mouth then, so Cliff almost doesn't hear him say, "Different for him with cock, though."
    Cliff laughs. "You're a fuckin' dog, Rozy."
    "Whaaat? I'm just saying, my husband? Fucking lo-o-ves to suck cock. Loves it."

    Cliff is just trying to be a good friend. He's not realizing anything about himself at all.

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    25 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    24 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is in the front pew. His face is—Ilya does not have words for what Shane's face is doing. He has seen Shane angry and afraid and exhausted and soft and undone. He has never seen this: living at the very bottom of a person, surfacing only when every single thing above it has given way.

    This is what it looks like when Shane has nothing left to manage.

    Ilya reaches for him.

    His hand passes through air.

    -

    Or: Ilya Rozanov turns the same age his mother was when she died. Featuring strange dreams, tarot readings, and a woman with her back to him who keeps appearing where she shouldn’t.

    A man who spent twenty years preparing to die, and one husband who refuses to let him.

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    23 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”

    Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”

    “Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.

    “No, really, what is it?”

    Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.

    The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.

    At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?

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    22 May 2026