annanewscript



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    After insulting a suspiciously vindictive fortune teller at a street fair, Ilya Rozanov wakes up cursed with the ability to hear people’s thoughts through touch.

    Which becomes a serious problem when he discovers his coworker Shane Hollander, who supposedly can’t stand him, is apparently thinking about him in extremely inappropriate ways constantly.

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    English
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    6/6
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    31 May 2026

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    Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.

    Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.

    Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.

    Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
    now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself

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    5/5
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    22 May 2026

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    “Were you thinking of also bringing clothes?” Shane asked, glancing into Ilya’s suitcase.

    “Do you think we will need them?”

    “I’m just saying you might want the option of going outside,” Shane said, dropping a kiss on Ilya’s shoulder and wandering into the closet.

    Ilya was obviously going to pack clothing, he just had priorities. Like making sure their whole sex toy collection would fit into his suitcase, not to mention two of the biggest bottles of lube he’d been able to find.

    “Take the batteries out of anything that vibrates,” Shane called. Ilya rolled his eyes. What was he, an amateur? “Do you think I should bring two pairs of walking shoes or is one enough?”

    “How many walking tours are we going on?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “How do you not know? What have you been doing for the past month?”

    “Research! But I didn’t book anything yet in case we decide we want to just sit by the pool for ten days instead.”

     

    Or: Shane and Ilya Go Honeymooning. Set after The Long Game.

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    21 Apr 2026

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    Given Ilya and Shane's history, they should be able to handle a few weeks apart. So when Ilya was out with an injury and Shane needed to head back on the road, they would cope. Shane would be occupied with adjusting to his new team and Ilya would be occupied with twitter and the trials and tribulations of British Bakers.

    And they would be just so normal about it. Obviously.

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    3/?
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    05 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya's relationship, so it really shouldn't have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.

    It also shouldn't be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.

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    English
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    15,122
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    1/1
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    09 Mar 2026