Penguin_99



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  1. Rec 93

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    “You’re back,” he said, sounding as surprised as he looked. “I didn’t think you would be.”

    “Why not?” Stiles asked, confused and still half-asleep. He yawned as he rubbed both hands across his face again, and then froze at the next words out of Jeremy’s mouth.

    “I figured you’d spend the weekend with your boyfriend.”

    His what?

    “My what?” he asked aloud.

    “Your boyfriend,” Jeremy said, tilting his head slightly in confusion. “The angry, overprotective dude who came to get you? You could’ve just told us it was your boyfriend you know, you didn’t have to give us the song and dance ‘he’s my dad’s deputy’ routine. I kind of figured out you were lying about that in first year when you moved in with him for the summer.”

    Stiles stared at him, completely flabbergasted about this entire situation.

    “What the fuck are you talking about?”

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    04 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Wei Ying,
    I will come pick you up on the auspicious date.
    Lan Zhan

    Lan Zhan,
    What auspicious date? Why are you always speaking in riddles? And why do we still have this giant pile of gifts from your sect? Are we forming some sort of alliance, or is this an underhanded bribery tactic?
    Wei Ying

    To the Madam of the Yunmeng Jiang Clan,
    As an elder of the Gusu Lan Clan, I consulted a matchmaker and did not learn of any auspicious days suitable for this marriage. Perhaps it is ill-fated.
    Lan Qiren

    To the Gusu Lan Clan Elder,
    I have received your concerns.
    Perhaps a matchmaker in Yunmeng could offer a different perspective. Why don’t you send me Lan-er-gongzi’s Eight Characters?
    Yu Ziyuan

    OR: yu ziyuan and lan qiren negotiate wangxian's marriage (but they don't exactly share a common goal)

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    03 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    “So, how much money do you make? I’ll need to compare it to the wealth of my other suitors before I decide whose thigh I should cling to for support. How much experience do you have being a sugar daddy?” Wei Wuxian asks earnestly.

    “Other suitors?”

    Wei Wuxian affects a look of surprise. “Surely you can’t expect a commodity as hot as myself to put all my eggs in one basket?”

    “What other suitors?” Lan Wangji says stubbornly.

    “That’s confidential. I can only tell you once you make it past several rounds of sugar daddying.”

    Lan Wangji does not respond to this provocation.

    OR: wei wuxian kindly agrees to scare off nie huaisang's blind date, but the blind date in question is not so easy to scare off

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    03 Jun 2026

  4. Rec 53

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    “He pursued me relentlessly. How could I say no?” Wei Wuxian said on one of the many occasions when he complained to Wen Qing about this whole situation. “‘Wei Ying, come to 10Dance with me.’ ‘Wei Ying, you’re a way cooler and better dancer than me so I need your valuable expertise.’ ‘Wei Ying, come to 10Dance.’ ‘Wei Ying, please, I need you.’”

    On every such occasion, Wen Qing has been unfairly skeptical. “That’s not how I remember it.”

    “Well, memory is a very complex thing.”

    “As I recall, he asked you once and you folded immediately.”

    OR: wwx and lwj are ballroom dancers with slightlyyy opposite styles who agree to teach each other

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    03 Jun 2026

  5. Rec 37

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    LinkedIn

    Wei Wuxian
    Radical Realist

    Today a child came up to me on the street and said, “I want to be an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales just like you one day.”
    You know what I said?
    “Get this thing away from me.”
    The kid may have run away crying, but I told his mother this is the greatest gift anyone is ever going to give him.
    The gift of failure.
    When he’s an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales, his mother is going to thank me.

    OR: amid a sea of bots on linkedin, wwx is a rare organic shitposter

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    01 Jun 2026