Panzyqueen



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  1. Schitt's Creek (2)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Is disappointing, no?” Ilya hummed thoughtfully, dragging a thumb lightly over the slit. “To be so close to something you really, really want.”

    “Fuck you, Rozanov.”

    “Mm. You would like that. But no. Tonight is important lesson in humility.”

    "Big word there. Don’t hurt yourself.”

    "You played good game tonight, Hollander." He punctuated his words with a firm stroke, earning him a small groan that tumbled through Shane's lips before he could catch it. "Must have been too easy."

    "Oh, screw you-"

    "In here, it will be different." Shane opened his eyes to glance up at the other team captain, who sported a wicked grin on his face.

    "Tonight, I remind you what it's like to work for what you want."

    Ilya Rozanov does not like to lose, especially to Shane Hollander. And when the Montréal Metros crush the Boston Raiders in a humiliating 8-3 score, a certain team captain shows up at his door with a toothy grin and little too much pride in himself. So now, off the ice, it's Ilya's turn to show Shane just how fun it can be to settle a score.

    A.K.A my take on the "one goal for each inch that you want" texting scene, with a twist :p

    Language:
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    16 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 81

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    Even if there were a lot of things Shane didn’t understand about Rozanov and about their arrangement, he was at least sure of one thing: Rozanov was full of shit. No way in hell was he 9 inches.

    Shane thinks the best course of action to prove that Ilya lied about his dick size is to buy a bunch of dildos.

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    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Coin for your thoughts?” Ilya hums, scanning Shane’s face.

    “It's penny for your thoughts,” Shane corrects him.

    “Coin, penny, whatever. I was promised a thought?”

    “Oh, I was just thinking about how three orgasms before breakfast might be a personal best,” He shrugs, and then he’s met with the distraught expression plastered over Ilya’s face.

    or, being trapped inside with a snowstorm raging outside, Shane and Ilya occupy themselves by figuring out how many orgasms they can get out of each other. This doesn’t sneak by the Centaurs.

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    683
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    08 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 45

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    It had been a good day. They won their game, and while Shane did think it would be nice to go out and celebrate with the team, Ilya had some…better plans in mind that Shane just couldn’t pass up.

    ----
    Or: In the eyes of one Ilya Rozanov, being married to Shane Hollander makes him gloriously insatiable. AKA: Self-indulgent Hollanov ice rink smut fic.

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    5,617
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    30 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Sometimes life came at you with a clenched fist and Ilya had never figured out how to duck.

    So here he was, twenty-eight years old, single, dealing with the fallout from injuries given to him by the game he loved, and the second youngest assistant coach in the league to one of the worst teams. Stability was hard to come by, but he was managing.

    Then along came Shane Hollander to knock him on his ass, one more time.

    Series
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    English
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    102,971
    Chapters:
    10/10
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    28 May 2026