PantryJesus
Fandoms
- Dead Boy Detectives (TV) (28)
- Teen Wolf (TV) (8)
- Merlin (TV) (4)
- The Sandman (TV 2022) (2)
- Jennifer's Body (2009) (1)
Recent works
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Summary
Jennifer had always been stubborn. Always had to have the last word. And god, hadn’t she managed that—sinking her teeth into Needy’s flesh and not killing her, not eating her, but shoving in the same evil that was charring her own soul from the inside out. Like she couldn’t die without making sure some part of her was stuck in Needy forever; shrapnel from the atomic explosion of their friendship.
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Summary
“This is highly unprofessional,” Edwin huffs, a few ticks after the cupboard door clicks shut behind them. “We are here on a case, Charles.”
Series
- Part 7 of Brief Moments
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An Excerpt from the Journal of Edwin Payne: Trust by PantryJesus
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
13 Feb 2026
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Summary
I enjoy exposing you.
It is incredibly uncouth of me; I know this, and there is a great measure of shame in me because of it.
Series
- Part 4 of To be so Known
- Part 9 of Brief Moments
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Summary
There's another little part of Charles—a quiet, shivery, tucked-way-down-deep little part of him—that… that likes it, more than he ought to. A part of him that likes Edwin pressed against him and holding him still and clamping a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet.
All at once, he's thinking back to Hell—but not in the bad way he's been having those thoughts, lately. He's remembering how Edwin did this same thing down there: his hand over Charles's mouth, keepin' him hush.
Series
- Part 8 of Brief Moments
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Summary
Crystal’s never had anything she was this afraid of losing before. She’s never had anything—anyone—that’s tried so hard to stay. And she might have just fucked it all up for good.
Crystal blinks hard, swallowing down the knot that’s started to rise in her throat. She grabs her phone off the night stand, opens Niko’s contact, and spends a minute debating over what to say before eventually sending a single message:
Can we talk?
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In Clue terms: Crystal palace, in the not-so-guest bedroom, with Niko Sasaki—trying to be better.
Series
- Part 2 of And They Were Roommates
Recent series
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Summary
Collected Dead Boy Detectives drabbles and ficlets, mainly but not exclusively Payneland.
- Words:
- 8,428
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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Summary
After getting together, Charles and Edwin explore power dynamics.
OR: an unintentional deep-dive into submissive Charles and dominant Edwin.
- Words:
- 17,134
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 25
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Summary
A collection of Crystal-and-Niko-centric fics, set in miscellaneous universes in which Palasaki become roommates after Niko's return.
- Words:
- 3,308
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Or: A series of rescues conducted on Friday nights at an American university.
(A modern alive AU where Charles and Edwin meet and become friends at university in the States, along with Crystal and Niko.)
- Words:
- 3,704
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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Summary
A collection of various disconnected Payneland AUs (mostly modern/alive AU, but not exclusively).
OR: Charles and Edwin finding each other in every universe.
- Words:
- 9,361
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
When Shane pulls away, he swallows audibly and the breath catches in his throat when he says, “There’s something you should know, too. Um, before.”
Ilya traces a thumb over his lips, pouts his own to show he’s listening. “Hm?”
“I’m a man,” Shane says, carefully.
Ilya scoffs. “Obviously. I’m not—”
“No, no, I mean—I’m a man. You need to remember that. Because—”
“Oh,” Ilya murmurs. He brings his other hand up, settles it in the curve of Shane’s neck. “I understand."A hockey player and the most beautiful man he's ever seen walk into a bar.
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
07 Jun 2026
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true blue by scarlettroses
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
29 Mar 2026
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Summary
"He said it was just a stronger edible," Wyatt says. "Apparently it was supposed to be super natural, and relaxing and rejuvenating, not the weak Canadian shit, and—"
"You say a bad word, Hazy," Ilya interrupts, pointing a tiny finger at him.
"Right." Wyatt winces. "Sorry, kid."
Rejuvenating. Shane turns the word over in his mind a few times, while readjusting Ilya’s little body in his arms.
Jesus fucking Christ.
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or, with the help of some mysterious russian candy and a very loving husband, ilya rozanov heals his inner child.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,633
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 534
- Kudos:
- 5,243
- Bookmarks:
- 1,196
- Hits:
- 36,920
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
06 Jun 2026
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if i could save time in a bottle by imbihesgay
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
27 May 2026
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Summary
It takes some time for Shane to notice.
With three kids, they are busy, so it’s not surprising when Shane doesn’t observe at first. Shane and Ilya are both forty-five years old, and they have such full lives that sometimes time feels like a cruel joke. They’re busy, and always on the go, and blindingly happy.
Shane tells himself this is why it takes him so long to realize.
That lately, Ilya’s gone quieter during their evening nighttime routine before bed. When they shower and brush their teeth, Shane meticulously flossing between each molar while Ilya sort of haphazardly takes care of his own business, that Ilya doesn’t joke or laugh as much as usual. When they shower, he lets Shane get out first every time, and spends a little extra moment to himself. That he doesn’t lean in to let Shane card his hands through his hair anymore, and he used to love the feeling of that.
-- or, a study of aging beside the person you love, via hollanov--
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
01 Jun 2026
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rozanov's roster by gurlsrool
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
02 Jun 2026
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Summary
Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
Jane: 2010
Caro: WHAT
Megan: GIRL
Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rnOr: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,282
- Chapters:
- 7/12
- Comments:
- 6,120
- Kudos:
- 27,455
- Bookmarks:
- 5,492
- Hits:
- 334,383
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
26 May 2026
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Tequila Sunrise by fizzseed
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Mar 2026
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Summary
Ever since Rose found out that the secret-mystery boyfriend with whom Shane was apparently having fantastic sex with is Ilya Rozanov, she’s been trying to get him to share details. It’s not like she was trying to get him drunk and loose-lipped, it was just a fortunate side effect of the really delicious Mexican Mules she’d decided to make. Apparently, the key to Shane’s sordid sex-gossip was a pitcher of ginger ale, lime, and tequila.
So help her, Rose Landry is going to figure out her best friend's sex life.
Series
- Part 2 of The Cocktail Menu
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
25 May 2026