OptimusCrime
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snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 266,111
- Chapters:
- 89/?
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- 19,835
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Bookmarked by OptimusCrime
18 May 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644262
Really comedic. The way the author meshed magic and alchemy is a masterclass in taking the half-assed hp worldbuilding and doing something interesting with it.
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Summary
Fox has seen many things seized during raids. Illegal weapons, Spice and other assorted of banned drugs, slaves, carnivorous beasts trained for the fighting rings, the list goes on.
Nothing prepared him for finding beskar among the crates of contraband and bad life choices.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,179
- Chapters:
- 23/23
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- 3
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- 767
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- 2,643
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- 966
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Bookmarked by OptimusCrime
29 Apr 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/40664031/chapters/101886705
Re-reading this and realised i never bookmarked it. What an oversight. How could i have let this happen? This masterpiece? No bookmark? Rest assured, i will not be reincarnated as a lotus flower 😔
That is to say, holy fuck, this fic is packing heat and you should read it. Deadass. Right now. I can see you. What is the holdup?
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is it you? could it be you? (don't want it to) by orphan_account
Fandoms: Bullet Train (2022)
28 Feb 2023
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Summary
Tangerine probably hadn’t considered how reckless they’re being by diving back into work as close as Lemon had. It was the burning desire to prove that he was better than whatever happened at the Shinkansen, to bury that part of his life and not even spare it a second thought, but he can’t do that if he hasn’t moved on. He needs to know that he hadn’t rusted in his dormancy.
(or, Ladybug and Tangerine keep running into each other on the job.)
Bookmarked by OptimusCrime
26 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44675509
Good god, this was a joy! Something about the author's prose really hits the spot for me, i don't know why. The characterisation was on point too, really, my only complaint is that the work is orphaned so i can't kiss the author on the lips.
Here's a quote that i saved while reading:
“Do you—Have you ever heard of pairs in the business?”
“Like the twins?”
“No, like romantic pairs.”
“Icarus and the Sun.”
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No Vacant Dream by Anonymous
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
14 Nov 2025
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Summary
Fox dies.
Except he doesn’t, because as soon as the creepy Sith ritual drains the last of the blood from his body, he wakes up…somewhere. Somewhere else, where, for once, he can’t feel the Emperor’s claws digging into his head every hour of the cycle.
Unfortunately, this somewhere else is so deep in the middle of nowhere that he gets picked up by a mandalorian—some asshole called Montross who quickly proves that he’d be more helpful dead, especially once Fox finds out that this shabuir wants to sell him off to the Kyr’tsad. In a final bid for freedom, Fox disposes of his would-be captor, commandeers his ship, and goes on the run from the man’s terrorist Kyr’tsad friends and his weird Haat Mando’ad coworkers.
…until the weird coworkers finally catch up to Fox.
Or: upon his death, Fox is thrown several decades into the past, lands in Mandalore’s backyard, gets himself adopted, and (mostly intentionally) alters the course of the galaxy.
Oh, and he isn’t the only vod to get tossed through time and space.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 91,538
- Chapters:
- 6/?
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- 1
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- 958
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- 3,554
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- 1,387
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Bookmarked by OptimusCrime
23 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54897517
Ch6
God, I love Fox so much it has reached a point tbh.
This fic expands on the Mandalorian-Sith relations lore really nicely and sets up some interesting stuff for later. Definitely will be monitoring with great interest.
Slow to update so small recap:
Last chapter had Jaster and Kal review the helmet footage and Jaster doing olympic levels of leaping to somehow reach the right conclusion about Fox' whole time travel business. Icon. (Also they think Sheev's essence(?) somehow piggybacked off of Fox' mind to travel back in time and is now a ticking time bomb attached to our boy. Not ideal.) -
Tags
Summary
Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,602
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 4
- Comments:
- 979
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- 7,472
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- 2,657
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Bookmarked by OptimusCrime
13 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009599
10/10 no notes
Except wow what an atmosphere! Highly recommend.This fic is so ...rich. I can't come up with a better word. Rich in imagery, rich in themes, even rich in descriptions. I could breathe in the opressive humidity of a deep-south summer and could hear dirt and gravel roads crunching under my boots. This fic is like a night breeze on a field somewhere after a hot day and you can smell the dried grass and the stars shine twice as bright.
Seriously. I know noone on here is looking for Devil Went Down to Georgia fics but please please please give it a try.