Lycanomancy



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    Shane wipes his eyes, still catching his breath. "What, you don't have any Russian towns with rude names?"

    Ilya's dark brows knit together, his eyes drifting toward the ceiling as he mentally catalogs his homeland's geography. His fingers drum against the countertop, leaving small prints in the dusting of protein powder Shane spills. "There is Dobrye Pchely? Means kind bees."

    Shane's laughter fades into a soft, genuine smile. "Okay, but that is fucking adorable." He leans his hip against the counter and takes in the morning light catching the stubble on Ilya's jaw. "How is Russia cuter than Canada?" he marvels, voice warm with affection.

    Ilya's shoulders square defensively, chin jutting forward. "Russia is not cute. We have sensible names, not pant names!" 

    "There's also a town called Dildo," Shane tells him, eyebrows raised in challenge.

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    02 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    No one wanted the night to end, so the celebration party had moved from the locker room (where Shane had a few sips of warm beer out of the Cup and three-fourths of a bottle of champagne) to Monk's (where Shane had cold beer and too many jello shots that were in syringes of all things — that was 100 percent Dykstra's fault) to Bood's house (where he ate a few slices of pizza to sober up a little and washed it down with a Ginger Ale that Ilya had somehow acquired from seemingly out of thin air before Ilya and Troy challenged him and Luca to a game of beer pong, which Shane and Luca had lost spectacularly because Luca had no idea how beer bong worked). After the game, Ilya had brushed his fingers along Shane's spine as he ribbed Luca on his poor skills, and Shane's skin burned.

    Suddenly, he was done with the parties.


     

    Or, the story of how Shane and Ilya broke a dresser (and a front door) after they won the Cup.

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    02 Jul 2026

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    It’s maybe a little unhinged, a tiny bit irrational… but Shane is officially at war with Ilya’s jeans.

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    02 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is boring the way a sniper is boring. Boring the way a glacier is boring. Very slow, very quiet, very inevitable, and then suddenly you're kinda fucked.

    Or, Ilya deserves a medal for the number of lives he's saved with the power of his dick and the ability to fuck the concept of revenge out of his husband's mind.

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    02 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya survives heartbreak, long distance, professional hockey, and the emotional warfare that is dating Shane Hollander.

    What nearly kills him in the end is a misunderstanding about condoms at Whole Foods.

    Or: Ilya mentions they need condoms and Shane says don’t need them. Ilya almost explodes at the thought of them doing it raw before his fantasy is crushed… or is it?

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    25 Jun 2026