CertifiedPissWizard
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
Stanley Pines dies at seventeen. Nine years later Stanford Pines goes to a mailbox in the woods and asks a question.
-
Tags
Summary
Or: Billnivorine
Stanley Pines is summoned up to Oregon by his brother for mysterious reasons in the dead of winter. When he gets there, something is obviously wrong- the clearing the house is in is sunny and warm and green while the surrounding woods are laden with ice and snow, and when Ford opens the door, he doesn’t even see Stanley, rather talking to some nonexistent figure and mentioning some mysterious Bill.
-
Tags
Summary
“Cats. Aren’t real.” Terrible job! Time to commit! “You clearly haven’t been doing well if you’re just making up animals like that.” Stan shakes his head, head tilted down, somber expression.
“What are you- I have- had one! Named Nikola! Which you exploded! Somehow!”
-
Tags
Summary
Stan is cursed, when his brother calls him up to Gravity Falls. His inability to lie (and inability to know what he’s saying) leads to a better world (for a given definition of better.)
-
and avenge this wicked deed by CertifiedPissWizard
Fandoms: Rappaccini's Daughter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
22 Jul 2023
Tags
Summary
“Wouldst thou, then, have preferred the condition of a weak woman, exposed to all evil and capable of none?”
If such is the rule of the world, then the world must be changed and the rules broken. Or: men will literally become obsessed with poison and making a daughter who breathes poison instead of getting therapy to cope with their mother's death, and only one of those things could be vaguely justified.
Series
- Part 3 of gothic lit fics
Recent series
-
wardens trying and failing to have a normal one by CertifiedPissWizard
Fandom Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
28 Feb 2023
- Words:
- 2,705
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 6
-
gothic lit fics by CertifiedPissWizard
Fandom Dracula - Bram Stoker (Novel 1897), Rappaccini's Daughter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
22 Jul 2023
- Words:
- 1,463
- Works:
- 3
-
JarJangObi fics by CertifiedPissWizard
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
21 Sep 2020
- Words:
- 1,801
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 6
-
Max Rebo, his friends, his space boyfriend, and his ex-jedi son by CertifiedPissWizard
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types
08 Sep 2020
- Words:
- 2,412
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 63
-
- Words:
- 1,365
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 9
Recent bookmarks
-
Don’t Worry, You Don’t Gotta Stay The Same by 7sign7
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
08 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Rocky laments on how he has changed since leaving Erid, and worries that Adrian won’t be able to accept him.
This is a continuation/POV switch from some moments in my fic “A New Place To Be From” but can be read as a stand alone
Bookmarked by CertifiedPissWizard
06 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Grace has to handle First Contact with an alien planet with what meager Eridian his one set of vocal chords can make.
This Is Fine. This is totally, completely, utterly fine.(Grace sounds like a pebble. This, alongside Eridian's extended lifespans, kicks off a chain of misunderstandings that Grace would find utterly mortifying if he knew what the heck was going on.)
Bookmarked by CertifiedPissWizard
06 Jun 2026
-
I'm dying and I'm trying but believe me I'm fine by willoftitanium
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
03 May 2026
Tags
Summary
"Mild sedation will be beneficial to avoid further damage.” Mary says, cool as a cucumber. Right. That sounds good. Great, even.
And there was a needle coming towards me.
Wait."
...Grace has made peace with not going home. Grace has made peace with his choice, and he would choose Rocky every time. Grace has not made peace with what happened to him before he left.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,407
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 1,816
- Bookmarks:
- 465
- Hits:
- 10,826
Bookmarked by CertifiedPissWizard
05 Jun 2026
-
a love that glitters by fangirlaholic
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
01 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
It wasn’t anything that Grace had never done before. Yet this time, Rocky felt all five of his hearts racing at its smile. Grace’s giggle was so similar to an Eridian’s. Rocky wanted to make it laugh again, to be the reason for its joy.
Such thoughts had barely begun when there was suddenly a strange physical feeling inside Rocky. It felt like something was moving, a strange buzz reverberating throughout his body. It was deeply uncomfortable and continued to increase in intensity until Rocky suddenly felt like he had to open his ventral seal right now and get something out out out. It was all so quick that Rocky could barely think about how absolutely wrong it felt.
In which Rocky gets the Eridian equivalent of Hanahaki
Bookmarked by CertifiedPissWizard
05 Jun 2026
-
Someone Worth Being Brave For by TheLochNessMonstar
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
25 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Grace is too late rescuing Rocky. When he finds the Blip-A again, Rocky is already gone, so Grace does the only thing he can think of, and he takes Taumeoba-82.5 to Erid himself. If he can't save Rocky, well, he might as well make sure his death (and his crewmates' deaths) weren't in vain.
He's sick, starving, and has no alien native to introduce him, but he's going to save Rocky's planet whatever it takes. After that... he supposes all that's left is for him to die. He's nearly out of food and Yao's gun is still tucked away safely in the Hail Mary's storage.
Fortunately for him, Adrian doesn't plan on letting their mate's best friend die so easily.
Bookmarked by CertifiedPissWizard
05 Jun 2026