Alarena



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    Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.

    Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.

    Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.

    Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
    now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself

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    20 Jun 2026

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    “You really wouldn’t mind if I had sex with someone else?”

    Ilya does mind. Hearing it said back to him, almost makes him flinch, a sudden and brittle sound right next to his ear that he fails to recoil from in time. But he swallows back the bitter truth and replies, “Of course not. If that is what you want.”

    He waits, sitting on his living room couch, phone pressed painfully against his ear, his other hand gripping his knees till his knuckles blanched. He could feel his own heart rattling behind his ribs, pulse rockingloudly. His mind was an echo of alarm, demanding of him: Why isn't Shane saying anything?

    It was the loudest silence he’s ever lived through, until Shane finally said, “Okay.”

    OR: inspired by the fight in TLG where Ilya tells Shane he can sleep with other men. But this time, Shane actually takes the offer.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander has spent his entire life being one half of something: the Hollander twins, the Double Dutch, hockey's golden brothers. Falling in love with Ilya Rozanov is the first thing that ever feels like it's his alone—right up until he watches Ilya kiss his twin.

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    15 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 90

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    Shane has a rare opportunity to surprise his boyfriend in Boston. He does not think about what could happen if Ilya comes home with one of his teammates instead of alone.

    "“What the actual fuck” Cliff heard himself say. Shane fucking Hollander was in Roz’s front entryway with no fucking pants on. He barely registered the sharp inhale of his captain behind him and the door shutting. Hollander was just standing there like a deer in headlights. And he was wearing a Boston jersey."

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    14 Jun 2026

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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

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    13 Jun 2026