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Shane had always felt a private sense of loss, before, when Ilya would come into a condom and then casually discard it. For the past year this deprivation had been eliminated, and it gave him a deep sense of contentment. Now, though, they're getting off over video call, and an unavoidable component of each conversation has been to watch Ilya come into a tissue and then put said tissue straight into the garbage, and Shane really hates it.
He's not going to like, bring it up or anything, obviously. That would be fucking insane. Ilya may not have realized Shane's both incurably neurotic and a total pervert yet, but that's all the more reason to try to keep it under control. Shane is determined not to cause Ilya to finally come to his senses and run for the hills just because he's a freak who really loves cum. He can be normal. He can keep his own longing hidden, for the sake of maintaining an overall extremely satisfying sexual arrangement.
TLDR: Shane has a not-very-well-hidden desire for Ilya's cum; Ilya figures it out and offers to save it up for them to utilize at the cottage. Set in spring/summer 2017.
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The diet helps. Shane has always been particular about food—apparently there was a lengthy phase in his childhood where all he ever wanted for breakfast was plain Cheerios with a glass of 1% milk, and would cry ceaselessly when it was something different—but now it feels justified. Necessary, even. His parents are on board with it, too, which is nice. (Well, his mom moreso than his dad, because he doesn't get it and keeps telling Shane shit like just give yourself a treat, which is stupid because the treat is when he wins a game because of how hard he's working. But his mom understands, knows what to order for Shane at restaurants, what to keep stocked when he visits home so there are no temptations.)
A lot of the stuff he's eating now is really gross, actually, but that makes it even better, somehow. If he enjoyed it then it would be too easy. This way he knows he's actually sacrificing something for the success he wants so badly.
He likes the control, over what he eats and how he works out. Likes to know that the tool of his body is being properly handled, so that if something goes wrong, on the ice, he has nobody to blame but himself.
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And he would've been happy, really, to have set it aside completely. Well, maybe not completely.
But it could've been one of those scenarios that stayed in his head and was useful for when they hadn't seen each other in weeks and Shane was driven to using his dildo and trying desperately to replicate the motions that were really awkward to perform on yourself, actually. It could've been something to drive him over the edge, quickly, right when he needed it, in the privacy of his own mind.
Ilya using Shane for his own pleasure, no matter what they were doing. Ilya getting what he needed from the interaction and then just stopping, sated. And that would've been fine, because then they wouldn't have had to address it, and Shane could've felt mildly guilty for having such odd desires, but he was used to being strange, strange and aware of it, always. So, fine.
Or: Shane wants something he feels he definitely shouldn't; Ilya is highly enthusiastic about the prospect of his boyfriend being into free use. Over time, they figure it out.
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Residuum:
The residue, remainder, or rest of something.
Chemistry: also a quantity or body of matter remaining after evaporation, combustion, distillation, etc.
Law: the residue of an estate.
Ten years down the line, Shane and Ilya finally talk about that night in Vegas.
Series
- Part 2 of Vegas & its aftermath
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Shane Hollander has a terrible night in Vegas.
"Are you gonna fuck me?" He's starting to wonder. Has three fingers in his ass, now. Maybe this is some weird power trip for Ilya. Maybe this whole thing will happen without Ilya even touching him at all. That would be awful.
Ilya raises an eyebrow. "We will see."
That's something, right? That means if he behaves right, Ilya will come over here. Does he realize how badly Shane wants that? Has he not been clear enough?
"I need."
Ilya keeps staring. C'mon! Do it! You liked it last time, or seemed to, at least!
"What."
"You know." Surely he knows. He can't not.
"Tell me." An instruction. Shane will follow the instruction; Shane will be good.
"You." Ilya's breathing hard. Was that right? Does Shane have to be more specific in order to do it right? "I need you." At this point, it doesn't even matter how he gets him. His cock would be wonderful, but so would his fingers, or his mouth, anything. Even his arms, clutching Shane. The need is all-encompassing and therefore non-specific; he just needs Ilya.
Series
- Part 1 of Vegas & its aftermath
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