sonzai to mu
Series Metadata
Listing Series
-
Tags
Summary
“Kazuki,” he manages to get out, for all that the word wants to catch in his throat, because Kazuki has that skittish look on his face that Soushi can’t bear to have turned on him. “Kazuki.”
Kazuki’s eyes widen, and then he’s stepping forward as well, until they’re close enough that the barest motion would have them touching. He doesn’t touch, though, only lifts his hand until it’s hovering over Soushi’s cheek and breathes out, “Soushi…?”
Series
- Part 1 of sonzai to mu
-
Tags
Summary
Soushi is Soushi, and they’re not the same, but aren’t they supposed to be, sort of? And yet—
That guy’s irritation resolves into a stabbing pain behind Soushi’s left eye that makes him wince and clutch at it, even as he’s biting back satisfaction at actually getting a reaction.
Don’t speak on things you know nothing about, comes a voice in his head that isn’t his own.
Series
- Part 2 of sonzai to mu
-
Tags
Summary
If it’s a dream, it’s fine for Soushi to sway into the contact when Maris’ hand comes up to rest on his right cheek. If it’s a dream, it’s fine for him to lift his own hand to hold Maris’ in place. If it’s a dream, it’s fine that he wants so, so badly to kiss him.
(He doesn’t. Even in his dreams, Soushi has never been that bold, and knowing the truth of things doesn’t make it easier. All it means is that he shouldn’t want that, and that he does nonetheless is a weakness in him.)
Series
- Part 3 of sonzai to mu
-
Tags
Summary
Even though he doesn’t know what difference it will make, Soushi pushes at his counterpart’s awareness. If he thinks he’s dreaming, then Soushi will wake him up. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s cruel. Peace born of ignorance is no peace at all, whether that’s on the grand scale of the Festum or the smaller scale of that child’s tangled-up feelings for the boy in front of him.
Series
- Part 4 of sonzai to mu
-
Tags
Summary
Soushi is still trying to decide whether to disagree, when that child interrupts his thoughts to say, You can go see Makabe Kazuki. If you want. I won’t… it’s fine.
Soushi feels as though he ought to protest, on some level. But he could no sooner hide his joy inside his own mind at the thought of seeing Kazuki than he could will his heart to stop beating with intent alone. His counterpart latches onto the feeling, focusing on it intently and holding it in the attention of them both, until Soushi sighs and only nods.
Series
- Part 5 of sonzai to mu