Chapter Text
**
"So this is?" Shiro asks as Keith enters his room with an armful of blankets and pillows. Keith ignores the question at first, dropping his spare linens on Shiro's floor and arranging them into a more familiar shape.
"Future site of the Keith Kogane 'sorta-couch' dent of moaning about how awesome my boyfriend is," Keith says as he flops face-down onto his creation and sighs contentedly.
"I get that. But why does it have to be in my room?" Shiro asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
"In honor of Matt, it's not the same unless I take over a piece of your personal space and claim it as my own," Keith says, shifting into a more comfortable position, punching the pillows into shape.
"In honor of Matt, I should stick your hand in warm water when you fall asleep."
Keith takes a deep breath and sits up with his head in his hands. "Shiro, my boyfriend is so awesome. Is it too soon to buy him that dinner? I want to lick his face off. And suck his dick. But not at the same time, although I'm sure he's flexible enough to. He's so bendy. Did you see him this morning when he showed Pidge that he can put his whole fist in his mouth without gagging? I had to yell at him, because how the hell am I supposed sit through an entire meal with that knowledge?!"
"I'm very happy for you both." Shiro settles on the edge of his bed and folds his arms. "But you do realize I'm not letting you leave here without taking lots and lots of condoms."
"Okay, this is starting to bug me, why do you have lots and lots of condoms in here?" Keith hears a small cough from the other side of Shiro's room and turns towards it. "Oh, hey Allura. Didn't see you there."
Allura waves at him meekly from the far corner. "Hello Keith. Congratulations on Lance being… bendy?"
**
"Henry Hank 'Hunk' McCoy. Pidgeabella." Lance nods at the both of them gathered in his room. "Keith and I are officially dating. I hope you both realize what this means."
Pidge and Hunk exchange a look of worry.
"Does it mean you're bringing back the Garrison rules of Lance's not-at-all-crazy obsession with Keith?" Hunk says, Pidge sighs.
"Yes, I am bringing back the Garrison rules of whatever-whatever. Which state that I get to complain excessively about Keith while either one or both of you pet my head and comfort me. Only I'm going to be complaining about how amazing he is and coming up with plans to get one up on him."
"To be fair, that's what I thought you used to do in the first place," Pidge says, taking off her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose.
"Yes, but I'm going to be complaining about what an amazing boyfriend he is and coming up with plans to get him to fall madly in love with me forever." Lance sits next to Hunk and puts his head on his shoulder. "It's completely different. On many deep and meaningful levels of… meaning."
"We know buddy," Hunk says, patting Lance on the head.
"So very different," Pidge says. "Buy him knives?"
Hunk adds, "Make him dinner?"
"Oh! I can give him the knives at dinner. It's a thematic present. I like where this is going." Lance smiles. "By the way, I'm not allowed to shove my fist in my mouth or show you how double jointed I am in public anymore. Sorry, Pidge."
Pidge rolls her eyes. "Oh no, woe is me… Keith called you a tease, didn't he?"
"That was one of the words used, yes. I'm not allowed to repeat the exact statement unless you have adult supervision present."
Pidge slides her glasses back on. "Aha. So he called you a fucking cock tease?"
Hunk shakes with laughter as Lance gasps in shock, clutching his chest. "Pidge, Pidgina-Pidgerella-Pidgellison! How very dare you speak to me that way?!"
"Well maybe try not being a cock tease and bone your boyfriend already?" Pidge yells.
"I'm fucking trying !" Lance yells back. "We keep getting interrupted by talking about our feelings. It's the worst thing ever," Lance sighs, "never fall in love, Pidgeroni."
"I shall forever reject that reality and substitute my own," Pidge says. "You've nothing to fear."
Hunk pokes Lance's shoulder, grabbing his attention. "She's right though. Go bone him. You'll feel better."
Lance makes a startled choking sound as he pulls away from Hunk.
"I'm serious! You both put in your dues moping over each other. Go have consensual boning and put a pin in this already. We have a universe to defend!" Hunk sighs, "I know you know I'm right because you haven't said anything sarcastic or given me a nickname in like, 30 seconds which is a new record for you."
Lance closes his mouth and leans back on Hunk's shoulder. "You really think I'm teasing him?"
"You really think he needed to be in the same room when you decided to show me that your tongue is long enough that you can lick your elbow?" Pidge adds.
"Point taken."
**
Keith is forced out of Shiro's room with a literal armful of Altean condoms and other things both Shiro and Allura deemed necessary, which included bottles of an oil-based lubricant that was non-toxic for human consumption. Keith suppresses a shudder and makes a beeline for his room, smacking right into someone and dropping everything on the floor.
Keith braces himself and looks up, sighs in relief that the universe has finally given him a break and it isn't Lance.
"Sorry Keith!" Hunk says, "let me help you with that."
"No no no, I've got it!" Keith tries to wave him away and stills when he sees Hunk focus in on the items he was carrying.
"Whoa," Hunk breathes out, holding up a very long-necked green bottle with two suggestive spheres at the base. "Um, this is a lot of–"
"Shiro gave them to me!" Keith practically screams as he snatches it out of Hunk's hand. "I mean, Coran gave them to him, and Allura too! And um, oh lord. This isn't making it sound any better, is it?"
Keith isn't expecting Hunk to grab him by the shoulders with huge smile on his face and shout, "Keith! No, this is great! You and Lance!" Hunk shakes him back and forth. "Oh my gosh, please tell me you two are gonna have sex?"
Before Keith can react beyond swallowing down an embarrassed squeak, Pidge interrupts, peering around Hunk to look at what's on the floor.
"Oh yeah, all signs point to bone ," Pidge says grabbing the bottle and adjusts her glasses to read the label.
"Keith," he turns to meet her eyes. Pidge hands him the bottle back with a bow, as if she was handing over a sacred object, "Take Lance to bone-town. You have our blessing–nay, we demand you bone him but good."
"Please, please stop saying 'bone'," Keith groans, "and this is just, stuff I needed." Keith quickly fills his arms once again full of his wonderfully embarrassing Altean prophylactics and lubricants.
"Gotta go bye," Keith leaves with a nod.
"Go get 'em!" Hunk shouts and Pidge cheers as Keith runs to his room.
**
"Am I cock-teasing you?" Lance asks the moment Keith opens his door, worrying his index finger in his mouth. Lance looks down at where Keith's eyes are focusing and quickly pulls his finger out of his mouth with a pop. He hides both of his hands behind his back, standing up straight as he can.
Keith blinks. "Hello, Lance," he says, stepping aside so Lance can enter his room.
"I didn't mean to," Lance says, pulling his shirt off quickly and sitting on Keith's bed, untying his shoelaces. "I really like you, and I want you to know that. I don't want to tease you or leave you feeling, I dunno, unfulfilled?"
Keith nods, locking the door. "Ah. So you want to fulfill me."
Lance's head starts to swim. "Keith!" he squawks, his face starting to heat up, he buries his head in his hands and groans.
"I mean, I'm good with that," Keith says with a shrug, removing his shirt and tossing it aside to join Lance's on the floor. "Did you want to now?"
Lance drops his arms and looks at Keith. "C'mere," he murmurs and Keith gets close. Lance pulls him in until Keith falls on top of him and Lance can bury his face in Keith's neck, breathing deep.
"I want to. Part of me does want to just do it so we can be done and it's stupid because first times with someone don't always have to be special or magical or whatever, but also," Lance feels hesitation bubbling up. Keith rubs his shoulders, trying to ease the tension he feels building there.
"I don't want to force it. It's gonna happen when it's gonna happen. I'm not feeling impatient or desperate or anything." Lance squeezes Keith closer, smiling as he takes Keith's face in his hands. "I like us right now. I like us figuring this out along the way. I like falling asleep and waking up next to you and flirting with you and teasing..." Lance drifts off.
Keith waits for a few moments before asking, "Lance?"
"Fuck! I like teasing you. Pidge was right. You were right. I'm a cock tease." Lance's eyes are wide with realization.
Keith nods, kisses him on the lips until Lance falls back on the bed, and Keith finds his familiar place with his head pillowed on Lance's chest. "Yeah, but I really don't care. I just don't want to hear Pidge say 'bone' ever again. Make that happen, and you can tease me all you want."
"Oooh, I am so cracking my knuckles next time she's trying to eat. Sneakily and slowly, 'Tell-Tale Heart'-style. It'll drive her nuts."
Keith laughs, wrapping his arms around Lance's neck.
"Regardless of what happens, you can rest easy with the knowledge that I've been given way too many condoms, and not wanting to keep them all in one place, I've strategically hidden caches of them everywhere in this room. We are wholly incapable of being caught unprepared for sex on any flat surface in here," Keith beams with pride.
"Okay now I just kind of want to find them all," Lance gives Keith his best sultry smile, "it's like a sexy easter egg hunt."
Keith chuckles softly. "Please don't, you also know about my penchant for hiding potential weapons and sharp objects? I wouldn't want you accidentally stabbing yourself."
"So it's a sexy and dangerous easter egg hunt? Well played, Kogane," Lance raises an eyebrow and does his best terrible Sean Connery impression. "The game is afoot!"
Keith laughs until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.
**
It's early when Keith wakes up, not quite yet the morning cycle, but early enough that he still feels tired, dreamlike.
They've shifted quite a bit in the night, and are down to just boxers, Lance is still sleeping on his back, holding Keith's hand to his chest.
Keith feels Lance's heartbeat pick up slightly when Lance opens his eyes and turns to him with a smile. He squeezes his hand tight, gripping Lance's hand in his.
It's slow and then fast. First just a kiss and then Keith is straddling Lance's hips and he feels him. Keith stills and clicks his tongue.
Lance presses his mouth shut tight, he's torn between laughing and groaning in frustration, "Okay you got me, so that is a literal tease of cock. I think the universe hates me, Keith."
"Universe hates us both," Keith says as he shifts his hips down, pressing himself against Lance. "Feeling special and magical or whatever?"
Lance bites his lip, "Maybe a little?"
"A little? Choose your words carefully, McClain," Keith reaches under his pillow, "rotten tease."
"Please don't be a knife, oh shit is that?" Lance looks at what Keith has pulled from his hiding spot.
"It's lube. And yes, I know what the bottle looks like."
"So you also think it looks like the Incredible Hulk's dildo?"
"Why would the Incredible Hulk want a dildo that looks like his own dick?"
Lance sits up with a laugh, "Oh my god. Keith." Lance tilts Keith's chin forward and kisses him deep, pulling back and looking into his eyes with perfect devotion. "No moment will ever be more special or magical than right fucking now, can we please do it for the first time while we talk about what superheroes would use for sex toys?"
Keith smiles, taking Lance's hands in his own. "I don't think there's any possible way I could say 'no' to that."
**
"You are the greatest boyfriend in the universe and I will spend every waking moment trying to get on your level, somehow," Lance says, his voice raw.
Keith curls his fingers into Lance's hair, impossibly soft and smelling of weird space lube and sweat and, well like Keith.
"How do you do that?"
"Mmm?"
"How does your hair always smell so good, even after–?"
Lance pulls Keith closer, "It really doesn't smell that great. You probably just have a huge crush on me or something."
Keith squeezes his eyes shut, picturing that first day at the Garrison. The laughing boy in front of him with the softest hair and the warmest smile, "Probably."
"Like, how I have this crush on this brooding, quietly brilliant, lone-wolf type that hides knives for fun and makes the cutest pouty faces. He's made me go absolutely crazy for him, and now want to throw my pants off at the sound of his voice."
Keith isn't sure how to respond, his breath catches in his throat and Lance yawns. Keith opens his eyes to see him sleeping soundly.
He whispers his answer into Lance's ear.
**
Love, I would pull the moon from the sky if you wanted it.