Chapter Text
“Vizija… you’ll have to wake up eventually” My mother calls through my locked door as far as I can assume.
“Ugh… What's the point… i-its not like i could enjoy the sights or anything” I reply, almost choking on my words as I mention my missing sense. The room smelt of flowers, I wish I could see them.
“...” she pauses only for a moment “D-Dont talk like that, your brother would not want to sit in your room and rot!…” my Mother stops once more, taking a deep breath to steel her nerves “Please Vizija, join us for breakfast… I-I cant see you like this” Her resolve brings a tear to my eye. The mention of my brother… I don't know how it makes me feel at this point, but it's soul wrenching.
“F-Fine” I stand up and walk forward in what I believe to be the direction of my door, but I am promptly hit with a jab to the left of my abdomen. I ran into the edge of my desk. It’ll leave a bruise later but at least I know where I am now, I proceed to stumble over to my door feeling for the handle. I open the door and my mother takes my paw.
“Are you ok” my mother asks, concern written in her voice
“I-Im fine… I’m just getting used to it” the smell of pancakes fills the room as my mother guides me towards the kitchen table, with my limited abilities I can sense the food on my plate. Though I cannot see I know I'm thinner than I should be, I haven't eaten anything in at least two days. The pancakes didn't last long.
“So… are your senses getting any better? My father asks from across the room. I pause from the rapidly dwindling stack of pancakes.
“....no, no not really…” I take a long pause as a question lingers on the tip of my tongue. “Am I a burden?” In that moment a sense of sadness can be felt from my parents and though I cannot see them their feelings can tell me the shocked looks I would see if I could.
“NO!.. ABSOLUTELY NOT” My parents say in unison. Silence follows as no one in the room knows what to say after… that.
“I-Is it bad?” Despite not providing context, my situation is enough to tip them off as to what I'm implying. I've felt at my unseeing eyes enough to know that I have more scars then the loss of my sight, last I felt was the jagged edges of most likely visible scars over my eyes. Numb to the touch, but it stung nonetheless.
“I-its…-”
“-It builds character” my dad interrupts. His emotions are unsteady but his intention is clearly to make light of the situation. I didn't need to be a physic type to know that. Up until this point I've learned to read the emotions of those close to me, it was difficult at first but i got it eventually. But sensing my surroundings has proven to be on a whole new level of difficulty. If I could describe it physically it's like trying to climb a mountain with broken legs, it's nearly impossible and one wrong move… I don't want to think about it
“Right character… sure” I muddle under my breath, but my humor betrays me as I chuckle a little despite the gravity of my unstable mental state. Nothing feels the same anymore, not since the accident. My brother died saving me and the last thing I said to him was fuck off after an argument we had, and now im blind… forever. I had a career I was gonna thrive in, but you can't be a photographer if you can't see what you are photographing. Actually pretty much all of my choices were sight based… so im royaly fucked and my life is going to amount to a grand total of nothing. “Mom… I-I need a moment, i’ll be on the back deck if you need me” I say standing up to walk towards the back door.
“Hold on, let me help you” My mother offers.
“nope..I-I've got it…” She backs off hesitantly.
“But Vizija I… okay…” I stumble through the kitchen and the adjacent living room bumping into things as I go. After that I finally reach where my destination is as I feel for the handle of the sliding door, I cautiously step out into the sunny spring morning. The warmth of the comforting sun immediately hits my fur and fresh air hits my lungs as I breathe it. The fresh air is a welcome change as my room was starting to get stale. At this point I'm too mentally tired to even bother feeling for the nearby chair, instead I opt for the closer option as I sit down on the floor of the hardwood deck. The air smells of various types of lush greenery and morning dew. It's comforting but I only wish I could see it. Right here and now is when I make my decision, it will get better and I will learn to enjoy this world whether I can see its beauty or not.