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Dimitri’s tent, which doubled as their army’s base of command, was packed full with his classmates and former instructors, his greatest allies and closest confidants. For a while after their five years of separation, seeing their faces filled him with nothing but disdain, but now he knew that they were the only reason he had made it this far.
They were all exhausted. He could see it on their faces beneath the determination and belief that they had finally reached the end.
Their campaign was not linear, as much as he had wanted it to be. Pieces of the kingdom had to be pulled back together while rats needed to be snuffed out, and although there was a monastery to call home, leaving and returning constantly between battles was taking its toll.
This was the last time, he thought. Once they reached their destination, there would be no second chances. They would either defeat their enemies and return home or they would die in battle or be executed. He liked to think that his step-sister would spare the professor, but she was no longer the girl he knew when they were young and he could not give himself permission to believe it.
But they wouldn’t lose. That he was sure of.
He had surrounded himself with some of the finest warriors– no, people this world had to offer, and at their center was a woman who had saved him more times than he could count. And yet, instead of accumulating any sort of life debt to her or to any of the others, he had found himself a–.
No, putting it to words made it possible to be snatched away, and if he lost anyone else, he wasn’t sure what he would do with himself or if he was capable of avenging them all too.
“We’ll need to make our camp as small as possible if we’re going to rest tonight before the final battle,” Dimitri said. “I don’t want any Imperial spies to see our entire army advancing.”
“Forgive me, Your Highness, but it’s likely they already know we’re coming,” Ingrid said.
“While leaving the monastery almost completely undefended,” Felix said.
“But with Lady Rhea and most of the artifacts gone, it’s not like they’d gain any real advantage from taking it while we’re all out,” Sylvain said.
“But there are so many civilians and merchants there and the recovering knights too,” Mercedes said. “We promised to keep them safe.”
“This was a calculated risk, but I also don’t want to leave room for so much as a group of bandits to feel confident enough to sneak in,” Dimitri said. “The smaller our army seems from the outside, the better our chances will be from both directions.”
Most of them nodded in agreement while the others considered his words carefully in silence. There were some knights left behind, along with a mercenary company that had offered their services after they had saved some of their children while they were still gathering their forces. It was a risk, but the reward meant the end of a war none of them wanted to fight.
“Do you have any objections?” Dimitri asked, but everyone in the tent knew he would have only heard them from one person, if she had them. They all turned to the professor, who kept her eyes only on Dimitri. When they first met, it was almost uncanny how lifeless they could seem, but behind them now was a fire than made his entire body prickle beneath his armor. She wasn’t just full of life, she was life, and he knew she was their greatest advantage. “Good. I want less than half of our usual tents pitched tonight and a quarter of the fires. We’ll sleep tight but well guarded.”
Sylvain stepped forward with his hands folded behind his head. “Well I for one am definitely looking forward to seeing which lovely ladies in the camp might need a little extra protection for the night.”
“You’re with us, idiot,” Felix grumbled and nudged him towards the door flap. Ingrid made an irritated noise and followed them out, soothing a very old nerve of his that still worried about his friends. As long as they were together, they were safe.
Ashe, Mercedes, Annette, and Gilbert slipped out as well to deliver the news about the new sleeping arrangements while Dedue approached Dimitri.
“Your Highness.”
“It’ll be best if you stay with Ashe, Mercedes, and Annette tonight. I know you can all handle yourselves, but it will set a better precedent for the rest of the camp than Felix and Ingrid dragging Sylvain back into theirs.”
Dedue frowned like he didn’t like the order, and Dimitri understood why. After all of these years of thinking him dead, he didn’t want to let him out of his sight either, but Dimitri wasn’t a boy anymore. He didn’t need a vassal to watch over him, and he had already made himself clear multiple times that he didn’t want Dedue to live as a vassal for him at all. Even if Dimitri wasn’t sure he could ever have something like friendship with another human being ever again, especially with the way he had acted for the last five years, Dedue could have accepted it any of the times he had offered. But he didn’t, so now Dimitri had no choice but to speak to him as a commander.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone stop to gather her things.
“Professor, you’re with me,” he said automatically. Byleth stopped and looked at him like a deer who had heard a hunter’s boot snap a twig.
“Your Highness,” Seteth protested. “I’m not sure that would be appropriate…”
“There are some things we still need to discuss, and there’s no point in having her stumble around to find a tent after the fires have already been put out,” he said before Seteth could say anything more about who either of them shared their tents with. “You’ll stay with Flayn, I’m sure.”
Seteth’s overprotective nature was an easy target (and cheap), but it was effective enough. It wasn’t like Dimitri didn’t understand. If he had the chance to get any of his family back, he’d never let them out of his sight again either.
He controlled himself from looking at Byleth, and Dedue had already left anyway.
Seteth opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it, which was in his best interest because anyone who would have been displaced by Byleth could have ended up in the tent with Flayn, which wouldn’t have done at all. Never mind the fact that Flayn would have probably stayed with Byleth instead, he knew once the seed had been planted, Seteth would have been too fixated on digging it out to think logically. It was a weakness Dimitri could no longer blame him for.
“Yes, I suppose I will,” he said. “If that will be all, Your Highness.”
Dimitri nodded. “You’re dismissed.”
And suddenly it was just the two of them. The war tent Dimitri also used as his personal tent was bigger than the rest to accommodate his entire entourage of former classmates as well as the table in the center with all of their battle plans and potential routes.
It was too big.
There was once a time where Dimitri stood as close as possible to his professor like an eager puppy, but the last few months of bitter rage drove a gap between them that he found he didn’t like. If he had controlled himself more after finding her again, nothing would have changed, but instead he had turned his anguish outward and wielded it like a weapon towards friend and foe alike.
But she never once flinched. She didn’t cower from him, and she never gave up until the moment that first crack appeared and gave her a way to reach in and pull him back out.
He wanted her closer if just for the chance that she might reach for him again now that they were alone. That she might want to.
“Forgive me, Professor, for making this decision without you,” he said. “If you feel like it’s inappropriate then I will find someone to arrange a tent and a torch for you.”
“I don’t mind staying with you,” she said, because she had a way of getting right to the source. It used to bring a flush to his cheeks to have his trained and sometimes awkward niceties seen for what they really were, but he didn’t think he had the blood left in his body for that. So he accepted her acknowledgment without shame, and in return she did what was asked of her. “What did you need to discuss, Dimitri?”
He felt a piece of ice dislodge itself from his chest and hit the ground at the sound of his name. Not ‘Your Highness’ the way most of them chose to address him after they were reunited, but how he wanted to be addressed five years ago. When he just wanted to be Dimitri, someone who was just a person to them and not their future king. A name that always sounded so much sweeter when it came out of her mouth.
Truthfully there was nothing he wanted from her that could keep her here. There was nothing left to discuss that wasn’t covered both by a hearth and on horseback. There was not a single plan left unsorted between them that the others didn’t already know, but he wasn’t thinking about his lack of excuses when he blurted out the order for her to stay.
He didn’t even know why he did it at the time, but now it couldn’t be more obvious that it had become an instinct to want to keep her close. His enemies knew well how important she was both to him and his army, and if something happened to her–.
Again…
So many terrible possibilities flooded into his mind from an assassin slitting her throat before she could scream. Of flames peeling away her skin before he could reach her. Of a cloth soaked in poison and pressed over her mouth and nose while she slept.
“Dimitri,” she said again, and somehow she was there in front of him. Not a ghost or a memory, but Byleth in the flesh, close enough to brush a strand of blond hair away from his remaining eye. She frowned deeply with concern, a stark contrast from the woman he met those years ago who didn’t seem to have a single expression in her repertoire.
“It seems I’m having a difficult time coming up with an answer for that,” he said.
“You changed the camp,” she said, letting him off the hook for it.
“Forgive me, Professor. You’re supposed to be our tactician, and here I am making plans without you.”
“It’s a good plan,” she said. “Making our numbers smaller could be to our advantage. We can’t guarantee they’ll reduce their defenses, but it never hurts to be underestimated.”
“Do you think Edelgard would underestimate us?”
She thought for a moment before shaking her head. “No, but those not directly under her command would, and we’ll have to take them out first.”
Dimitri nodded. They were talking about killing, but they might as well have been speaking about straw targets in a class exercise. It made it easier to think clearly, to put aside the bloodlust that had long replaced his remorse. It was cruel to call them pawns, but that’s what they had made themselves, just as everyone who fought for Dimitri had.
The less of his own to fall would only sweeten the victory.
“So how much do we remind you of a band of mercenaries?” Dimitri asked.
Byleth took a breath and looked out towards the closed tent flap like she could see their narrowing camp through it. “They’re not loud enough.”
“Well, the night is still young,” he said, earning a look of slight surprise that he didn’t immediately understand.
“That sounded almost optimistic,” she said.
Dimitri nodded and looked off. “Only you would find humor in that.”
“I’m just used to your type of humor,” she said. “It’s been a while.”
He sighed and took a seat by the war table and poured himself something to drink. There were a few barrels of wine brought with them and then diluted with water to keep the knights’ heads clear, but he almost imagined it was a cup of tea poured for him when he was so nervous he nearly shattered the cup the way he had destroyed Mercedes’s sewing needles.
He poured a second cup for Byleth who took her place next to him. He watched her take the first sip and hold it in her mouth for a second too long before she swallowed it and wondered if she was searching for the flavor or for a memory.
Dimitri watched her wordlessly as if he was observing a painting for the first time before anyone else in the world got to see it.
She was beautiful, but it was her mind that got his attention. Her strategy on the battlefield, specifically, along with her skill with any weapon she chose to wield. And her kind heart and the way she slowly began to bloom before his very eyes until he learned that she was anything but indifferent.
He wished he was a better man. He wished he was the knightly prince he used to pretend to be. He wished she would look at him like she used to without any hesitation or the pity.
Or the barely masked disappointment that, thankfully, hadn’t been seen since she dragged him out of the dark.
She looked at him with the eyes of a goddess, of their goddess, and he found himself unable to look back.
“Have you eaten yet?” Dimitri asked.
Byleth nodded that she had. “Before the meeting. Have you?”
There was no point in lying to her. His body didn’t feel hunger the way it used to, but he barely needed to sleep now either. He wasn’t entirely human anymore, he supposed. Or he had just gone so long without either that he had learned not to want them.
“I will when this is finished,” he said.
She frowned slightly, but she didn’t argue with him. There had been a great deal of silent, unhappy acceptances since they were reunited, but that wasn’t what he wanted now. He wanted–.
He didn’t know what he wanted.
Friendship? He had had that once with all of them, but he hadn’t yet earned it, he knew. Tutelage? No, not anymore. Yes, there was more he could learn from her, but he didn’t want her as his professor now that they were finally alone, now that they could finally speak again.
Companionship?
What a selfish, wishful thing…
Byleth picked up the little wooden marker that was supposed to be him and set it down next to hers in the agreed upon formation.
“We used to charge in together,” he said, an ache forming in his chest that must have proven he was really still alive.
She nodded before placing him back towards the front where he had insisted on being since they rejoined. He threw himself at his enemies and clawed his way through them, ignoring their blades and arrows like a rabid animal that could no longer feel fear, but a consuming hatred.
This was his new place. He carved a path for the others, and they changed their own plans to suit him.
Dimitri picked up his piece and put it back next to hers and tried to imagine fighting as they once did, side to side and back to back. It was like dancing, or, at least what other people considered dancing, he supposed.
“The day we met, the three of us were terrified. We were all trained to fight and defend ourselves, but we were outnumbered and our previous teacher had abandoned us. But you were there, and you made it seem so… possible that we could win. You made it seem like there was never another outcome, and I thought that, yes, this person was someone I could learn from. Someone who could teach me how to make my people feel just as safe. I didn’t actually expect you would become my teacher though…”
This earned a small smile. “Jeralt told me I had to become a professor, and I didn’t argue with him because he never told me to do something that wasn’t necessary. But neither of us really understood what Lady Rhea wanted from me at the time.”
“Take it from me, you fit the role quite nicely,” he said. “Tell me. Why did you choose our class?”
Byleth thought of her answer for a moment before she shook her head that she didn’t know. “It just felt like the right choice at the time.”
“At the time,” he said. “And now?”
“Dimitri, I’ve never once regretted my decision, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said.
“And what if I’m asking if you would make the same choice a second time?”
“Again?” Byleth asked. “I did make the same choice when I found you.”
Dimitri frowned to himself in thought, and Byleth looked at him curiously, the cup of wine loose in her hand with no one caring to drink from it. “We didn’t know how close the others were when you decided to come back. You couldn’t have made the same choice.”
“Then I guess that means I chose to stay with you,” she said. “Both times.”
He choked in surprise and quickly cleared his throat, and he didn’t miss the quick flash of amusement in her eyes like it was five years ago and he was stumbling out a compliment.
“Hey, why can’t you ever say anything like that to any of the girls I introduce you to? Someone would think you were trying to get with our professor.” Sylvain’s voice echoed in his mind.
The memory was from a moment after he had spilled out an excessive number of words over how much he appreciated their professor. Most of which he found himself apologizing for the next day because he didn’t realize how they sounded outside of his own head.
But that just showed how much he truly admired her. Liked her, he admitted. But he was fond of many people, including the person who had exasperatedly put his own face in his hands and sighed in despair that His Highness is hopeless.
Hopeless, huh?
Perhaps, but it wasn’t like anyone he ever introduced him to could ever measure up to her. And all of them would have run for their lives the moment he became the monster anyway.
Not her.
Never her.
“Professor,” he said like there was something he wanted to ask, but in that moment absolutely nothing came to mind. She looked at him expectantly, which only made it worse, because now he wanted to have something to say. He suddenly missed the weeks of being silent and horrible, because at least then that was what was expected of him. But he didn’t want to go back to that. “Would you… like something different to drink?”
She laughed and shook her head. “No, this is fine. It just reminds me of Jeralt.”
“What would he say to all of this?” Dimitri asked.
Byleth sat back and looked over the map in thought. “He would say it was necessary and to do whatever we had to to stay alive and avoid killing anyone we didn’t have to.”
“Would he call me a fool? For dragging you into this?”
“You didn’t drag me into anything, Dimitri,” she said, her eyes wet but expression otherwise blank. “My father is dead, and you were the only one who came to see me after. You were the one who promised me we would find his killer, and we have chased them home. He would call us both fools, but he wouldn’t try to stop us. It’s not like he can anyway.”
“I am sorry to reopen the wound,” he said quietly.
Byleth smiled bitterly. “I don’t have any memories of those five years I was unconscious so it feels like it all happened only a few months ago.”
“Then I am also sorry to say that it will never stop feeling that way, no matter how much time has passed.”
Especially when the dead wouldn’t stop reminding him.
Byleth raised her cup prompting him to raise his own, but she didn’t say her toast out loud. He didn’t need to hear it to know the sentiment, especially when he washed down what was left, his head as clear as it was before he tasted it.
“I don’t think this had a chance to ferment,” he said.
“No, it didn’t,” she agreed before getting up to find them a pitcher of fresh water. With that immediate improvement, the two returned to the map, but instead of forming new battle plans, they compared the different places they had both been to and the different fights they were in. He thought then that if she had been given ten, twenty more years of her own life, Byleth would have been considered one of the greatest mercenaries who ever lived.
Fate had changed her path, but if they won tomorrow, Dimitri would do whatever it took to secure her legacy as the savior of his kingdom, because he knew without a doubt it would not exist without her.
But it would exist.
Tomorrow they would win and reunite the world together.
It didn’t really feel possible, like this was a rare sweet dream he would soon wake up from, but then he saw her fully unhinge her jaw into a yawn that was much too human to come from his own imagination.
It was very hard not to laugh in amusement.
“We should get some rest while we can,” he offered, and Byleth nodded as she rose from her seat and began to arrange herself a small pile of bedding on the opposite side of the tent. Someone had brought it while they were talking and he was too distracted to notice.
His own was already made for him. It wasn’t a king’s bed, but it was leagues better than the piles of straw and emptied burlap he had slept on during those five years of wandering. He was once so delicate that he tossed and turned at the monastery because he was a prince and prince’s slept delicately, but now he looked at it like it was something ridiculous. They were at war. Why did he need so many pillows?
He was tempted to sleep in his armor in case of an ambush. It wasn’t like he hadn’t literally hundreds of times before, but it felt wrong somehow in that moment. Like if he wore his armor to bed, it meant he didn’t trust her not to stab him in the back the second he lowered his guard.
They undressed back to back, giving the other as much privacy as they could afford in the same tent. Dimitri stripped down to the thin undershirt and pants he wore beneath his armor to protect his skin. He must have been a spoiled child before because he would have never been seen in anything that wasn’t pristine and starched, but now when he looked down at himself, he could see the blood stains.
He tossed the shirt, deciding that being a little indecent was better than handing over a map of every wound he’d received over the last few months. Assuming the blood on his shirt was his own.
“Can I turn around?” Dimitri asked.
“Yes, I’m dressed,” Byleth said.
He turned and saw that she too was in a thin shirt and a pair of shorts looser around the legs than what she wore in the daylight. The shirt was stretched out and worn, hanging off of one of her shoulders, and he was suddenly struck with the realization that this was exactly what she looked like when she went to bed, not just making do in a war camp.
Both the sight and the knowledge nearly brought him to his knees.
Dimitri forced himself to turn away to keep himself from staring. He busied himself with putting out the candles left burning in the tent, but even with them gone, the moon was bright enough to leave them shadows to navigate with.
“Goodnight, Professor,” he said quickly and knelt onto his bedding, ducking out of sight like a nervous little princeling. He could almost imagine Sylvain putting his hand over his forehead and Felix grimacing, but they weren’t around to see him, so there was nothing they could say about it.
Don’t forget to give her your dagger.
He silently cursed at the Sylvain in his mind as he settled into his bedding, hoping his abrupt dismissal wasn’t noticed for what it was.
But the professor said nothing else, and she didn’t laugh at him or sigh. She simply settled into her own bedding on the opposite side of the tent for whatever sleep she could get.
Dimitri turned onto his side as if to watch her, but there was a war table between them and several chairs creating the illusion of cell bars. He could only make out her form as a lump of shadow slightly darker than the tent, and wished silently that the moon would find a way to shine just a little bit brighter.
The rest of the camp had settled for the night, but he still couldn’t hear her breathing. Although, sometimes it seemed like Byleth didn’t need to breathe at all. But he always just assumed that was his imagination, making her out to be some kind of god in the flesh.
Then again, she basically was to him.
Those five years were so lonely…
She was gone. Dead, he assumed. And he missed her in ways he had never known how to miss the others. He loved them all dearly, but what he felt for her was so completely out of the ordinary for himself that he didn’t at the time know how to put a name to it.
Now he had a guess.
It lived in the center of his chest, a tiny ball of light standing against an infinite onslaught of darkness, and he always felt it. Every time he breathed it was there, a gentle warmth that kept him moving forward one step at a time, even when just that much seemed impossible.
It grew a little brighter every time he looked at her, every time she smiled, and every time she made one of those peculiar jokes of hers meant to catch him off guard and pull him back in.
But he couldn’t see her now. It was too dark and too quiet, and if he closed his eyes, he had no way to know if she was really still there.
He couldn’t take it anymore.
Dimitri stood up and made his way to the other side of the tent. Without any warning at all, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her away, earning a small noise of surprise as she was lifted.
“Forgive me, Professor, but I can’t sleep with you so close to the door,” he said. It wasn’t exactly a lie, even if wasn’t completely honest, but Byleth didn’t struggle or protest as he carried her to his bed. This was the first time he carried her in his arms when she was conscious, he realized, and thought that even if he couldn’t see more than shadows, it was an immediate improvement.
“We’re in a tent,” she reminded him. “If anyone wanted in, they would just have to lift up the side.”
“Yes, well, they can try,” he said, dismissing her faintly teasing tone. He knew he was being transparently ridiculous, but he wouldn’t turn back now. Putting her back would have only made it worse.
He set her down on his bedding and then moved behind her to put himself between Byleth and the nearest wall, only because now the thought was planted in his mind. Dimitri didn’t think before he slid his arm beneath her neck and tucked himself against her back, pressing his nose and mouth to the exposed strip of shoulder, but Byleth didn’t so much as stiffen, even though they had never been this close before.
It felt so natural that it didn’t seem out of the ordinary at all.
He didn’t realize how much he had needed this until now. To feel her in his arms, safe and warm. Even while being haunted by her for so many years, it never once occurred to him that the one thing he never had was this, aside from the one time he carried her back. It wouldn’t have been appropriate to hug her, even after their victories, and he wasn’t in the habit of randomly taking his companions’ hands.
He didn’t know a person’s skin could be so soft. He didn’t know a person’s scent alone could make him feel like he was losing his sense of self but in a way that was entirely comfortable and freeing.
Back then Byleth was gone. She had slipped from his fingers, literally plummeted away, and now that she was back, he would never, ever let it happen again. He swore it on all the blood in his body and his very soul.
Byleth shifted in his arms and turned towards him so they were face to face, her cheek cushioned on his bicep, and although he couldn’t see her, he could practically feel her warm gaze. “Now you can sleep.”
Close enough for her breath to brush his mouth, he barely remembered to speak.
“Yes,” he agreed. “It’ll be the first night years.”
Once the words were out of his mouth, he immediately regretted them. It was meant to be like their old banter when they had time for tea, nothing more than an old habit resurfacing at the wrong time, but it was too honest.
Back then he would have stumbled over an awkward apology, silently cursing himself for showing a more pitiful side of himself when so many people depended on him to lead them and to have control, but now he remained silent, unable to take it back.
Byleth reached up between them and cupped his cheek, brushing her thumb beneath his unwounded eye presumably where a shadow would have been. He rarely bothered with worrying over his own appearance anymore. His hair had grown out, and his clothing was grim and haggard. He probably looked like living death, and yet he dared to carry her to bed with him.
He reached for her hand to pull it from his cheek, unable to stand such tenderness, but he didn’t let it go, unable to stand that too.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” he said.
“I’m always going to worry,” she said.
“Is that because you’re such a good teacher?”
“I don’t know. My first student went to war with his step-sister.”
Dimitri sighed, exhaling deeply and wishing that they weren’t so close for the sake of his pride alone. He was ashamed of himself. Not for the war, of course. It had to be done, and nothing would stop him from getting the revenge he waited so long for.
But ashamed of himself that she didn’t even have a year to prepare for what was going to come, along with the fact that he depended on her so openly.
“I am sorry,” he said quietly.
She twisted her hand so that their fingers could lock. “It’s not your fault.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t been so eager to learn from you, you wouldn’t have had to teach at all,” he said.
“Lady Rhea had her own plans,” she said. “You don’t need to worry about that.”
“You know, when you became our professor, I’ll admit I thought it was strange because you didn’t seem that much older than us,” he said. “I wanted to learn from you as a skilled peer, but then you were given that kind of authority and a part of me didn’t know how to respect it.”
“I probably wasn’t that much older than you,” she said. “I probably wasn’t as old as you are now.”
“Do you mean to tell me that you really don’t know how old you are? I thought that was just your humor.”
“I have a guess thanks to my father’s diary and what I could learn from Lady Rhea and Seteth, but no I don’t know.”
“I wonder if you had enrolled in the academy as a student, which class you would have been in.”
Byleth thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Where do the other children of the Knights of Seiros go?”
Dimitri hummed. “Most of them go to the Blue Lions, I think. Since we’re the house that leans the most towards knighthood, but it’s always depended on where you were born, for the most part.”
“Ah, well, then I will be looking forward to your guidance, house leader,” she said.
His cheeks ached as he smiled for the first time in years. A real smile, one that stretched all of the muscles in his face beyond their limits, reminding him of what that used to feel like when it was still easy.
“I will gladly teach you everything I know, B–,” he said, almost choking on the word before he tried again. “Byleth.”
“Is that the first time you’ve ever said my name?” Byleth asked, amused.
“Just the first time you’ve heard me,” he said. The admission floated in that minuscule breath of space between them. He had never said her name to anyone else out of respect, but when he was alone he had both muttered it sweetly and begged it for mercy. Her name was sacred to him, and he kept it close to his heart always. “Is that alright?”
She hummed that it was, and the two of them lay together silently for a moment, letting this new agreement rest between them. This permission was something not even the other instructors had had. Even the knights didn’t dare, and from what he had heard, Jeralt only ever referred to her as ‘kid’. This was a gift he wouldn’t waste.
“I don’t want the others to start using it, so I’ll just keep it here,” he said, and maybe that was a little possessive of him, but he didn’t have to share everything that was his, did he? Unless she wanted him to, but until she did, he wouldn’t.
“A night without calling me ‘Professor’?” Byleth asked, amused.
“No,” he said, pulling her hand to his lips. “Here.”
He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before he loosened their hold enough to turn it over and press another to her palm. It was calloused and rough from wielding a sword for most of her life, but it was so small and so warm, it was like getting to hold a human heart in its purest form.
If it was possible, he would have placed it inside his chest next to his own as if it could bring it back to life.
He would keep her safe like that because as long as he lived, nothing could take her away again.
Without thinking, he pulled Byleth to his chest, using his arm as a hook behind her head as he buried his face in her hair. She made a small noise of surprise, but she didn’t push him away, so he kept her close as all of the fear and pain he had felt from losing her wracked through him at once.
And still they were going to risk it all, but knowing that wasn’t enough to make him turn back. No, there were too many lives at stake to let this needless war continue, and he did not trust what would become of his kingdom if he just disappeared. It was a prince’s duty to put his people first.
No, a king’s.
But Byleth understood that because she was here with him and had never once asked him to give up. Release himself from his own hatred and grief, yes, but never this path.
And he loved her so much that just getting to hold her was enough to shatter him.
Ah, so that’s what it was.
“Forgive me for this,” he pleaded softly, his voice trembling with a barely restrained agony that was as new to him as it was constant. He felt the warm pads of her fingers brush against his back, felt her palm stroke along his spine.
It was a kind of comfort he’d never had before, one he didn’t feel like he deserved.
“When this is finished, I am going to ask you something,” he said. “You can say no, and I won’t blame you, but there is no one else in the world I could say this to.”
Byleth pulled away just enough that she could speak to him and not just against his skin. “Whatever you need from me, I’ll always be here. I promise.”
“You don’t even know what it is yet,” he said.
“I know, but you promised me something similar once. Do you remember?”
Dimitri hesitated a moment before answering. “Yes.”
“Would you take it back?” Byleth asked.
“No, and after tomorrow’s battle, I won’t break that promise again,” he said.
She put her hand on his cheek, her thumb at the corner of his mouth. “You’re not breaking that promise to me now, Dimitri, and I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll be right there with you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers, grimacing. “You can’t say sometime like that to me right now. I’m too–.”
“Too… what?” Byleth asked when he couldn’t finish.
“I want too much, Byleth. I have always wanted too much. I always thought it was harmless idealism, but in the end it’s just my own selfish greed, and hearing you say you’ll always be at my side makes me want to keep you there and never let you leave. Don’t you see what’s wrong with that?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t see anything wrong with it at all.”
“Professor,” he pleaded.
“I’m right where I want to be, Dimitri,” she whispered. “I promise.”
He wanted to argue with her, convince her that he was too much of a monster to blindly follow him without knowing what he could do, but in a way only someone who owned his heart could do, she completely disarmed him.
Byleth pressed her mouth to his before he could speak. It was barely a kiss, a breeze would have been more than this, but in that moment it was the most beautiful feeling he had ever known.
She started to pull away like she wasn’t sure if what she did was okay, but if that was all he could have, it wasn’t enough. Any sense of self control he had in his body disappeared, replaced with the fear that he may never know what it was like to kiss her. To feel her love with his own body and not just his hopeful heart.
He cupped his hand over the back of her head to keep her in place as he kissed her fully, relishing in the way he heard her suck a breath in through her nose, that she was just as affected as he was.
He kissed her like it was his first breath after drowning and nearly wept in relief when she kissed him back like she needed it just as much as he did.
This should have been their reunion. If he hadn’t been so angry and stubborn, he could have kissed her the moment he realized she was alive.
Dimitri pulled her body closer to his as her mouth parted for him just enough to feel the tip of her tongue against his lips. He let out a rough breath and did not realize his fingers were digging into her thigh until he unconsciously pulled it over his hip. They were so close he could feel the heat from her body piercing through the thin veil of clothes, but it wasn’t enough. There was so much more he wanted, and so much he could no longer deny himself.
Where her warm hands were rough, her thigh was as soft as silk, and he didn’t hesitate to grab a handful of it as she buried her fingers in his hair. They were tangled together, keeping each other as close as possible, and it felt so good that he completely forgot the world around them.
For a moment nothing else mattered. Hope was a hungry, desperate thing, and it drove him to believe that not only could he have this, he already did right there in the palms of his hands.
Very full, happy hands.
He had never dared to squeeze a lady before, but now that he had permission to touch her, he just couldn’t stop. There was so much strength there to admire, so much power. She was so strong, both body and mind, and so very beautiful.
She put her hand over his before she moved up to his bare waist, feeling him just as much as he wanted to feel her. Encouraged, he rubbed up her thigh until his hand slipped beneath the loose leg of her shorts.
The skin there was even softer, so much so that he worried his hands might be too rough, but when she opened her mouth for him and shifted so that their waists were pressed closer, he realized that was what she wanted.
Byleth wanted him to touch her exactly how he was, just as she had kissed him while he worried himself with restraint. It was wildly inappropriate for a prince and his commander (and teacher) to tangle themselves together in a war tent with their entire army preparing for battle, but…
“You deserve a bed,” he whispered.
“There will be one when we get back,” she said.
“I can’t wait that long.”
Byleth kissed the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his chin, all delicate acts of affection that made it easy to pretend they were already there.
And then he realized he was being teased for sounding spoiled.
He grumbled softly and rolled her onto her back, climbing on top of her and pinning her to the bedding. He kissed the amusement from her lips until her hands were buried in his hair and her knees were raised to his hips.
Dimitri pressed against her, hard and throbbing, and felt Byleth spread her thighs for him just a little bit wider, meeting his movement with an upward roll.
He pulled back enough to look down at her beneath him, his mind working through every question he could ask as he tried to gauge what she wanted and what she didn’t, but he couldn’t see more than a shadow of a form beneath him.
And then Byleth reached between them and tugged at the strings holding his pants until they were completely loosened. He waited, holding himself up as she pulled him out into the cool tent air, his arms nearly buckling when he felt her familiar hand stroke him for the first time.
Not the last, he begged. Please not for the last.
His breath shuddered out as his head tipped forward, and he let himself take in the sensation for just a brief, selfish moment before he moved back down to her, stealing her lips and pressing himself close.
The fabric of her shorts threatened to chafe if he was too eager, which, admittedly, he was tempted to be, but he immediately realized one particular benefit from her choice of sleep clothes.
Byleth’s arms wound around his neck as he moved against her, urging him into a kiss as he pressed against her. He didn’t push inside, not yet, but just the feeling of almost nearly had him coming out of his skin.
They moved together slowly, pushing their bodies at just the right angle that his cock slid over her, making them cling onto each other for more. He didn’t know he could get so much from so little, and by the unsteady draws of her breath, he guessed that neither did she.
He didn’t stop until she was sopping, until he knew that one wrong shift was all it would take to slip inside.
But he needed to be inside her. He needed to feel that wet heat around him until he couldn’t feel anything else. He needed her.
“Would you let me?” Dimitri whispered so quietly he wasn’t sure she could hear him until he felt her nod her head that she would, that she wanted him to.
He kissed her deeply, drawn in by that want like a moth to a mesmerizing flame, and nothing else in this world mattered but the promise of the relief they were both going to feel.
Nothing.
“Have you seen His Highness?”
Dimitri stiffened, unsure of what he was supposed to do if someone was looking for him, but Byleth’s hold on him tightened as she pulled him down to her lips to keep him there.
“I think he’s already retired for the night.”
He pushed inside her, forcing them both to fight to keep quiet.
“This early? That’s unusual, isn’t it?”
“It seems he and the professor plan to meet with the emperor before the battle.”
He thrust into her slowly, careful not to make any noticeable noises with their bodies as he mouthed at her neck. Byleth twisted her fingers into his hair, tugging slightly, but she seemed to be holding her breath as if she didn’t need to breathe at all.
“I see.”
“Is it urgent?”
“No, but–.”
Dimitri rolled into her deeper, making her head tilt back onto the bedding as her nails dragged down over long-healed scars. He nipped at her throat, careful not to leave a mark, but hard enough for Byleth to feel it.
“Then the professor should be out by now. Do you know where her tent is?”
Dimitri put his hand over Byleth’s mouth to keep her from reacting, the most of an order he was willing to give her now that he was back on the right path. She tightened around him, stealing away any last sense of propriety he may have had like a siren come to steal his soul.
He mouthed his love against her as his hips worked constantly and relentlessly with only the steady low murmur of a retiring camp to conceal them why he prayed no one would be stupid enough to come inside to see.
They were frantic together, soundlessly pawing at each other as her body took every thrust. He wanted to fuck her for days until neither of them could move, until they had to be physically pried apart.
And he really did not want to be interrupted…
“Excuse me, but His Highness is preparing for the battle tomorrow,” Dedue’s voice said firmly from somewhere outside of the tent. “I suggest you both get back to your patrols and not disturb him. You can leave any messages for His Highness or the professor with me.”
“Remind me to ask Mercedes to bake him a cake after this,” Dimitri breathed.
Byleth pulled him back to her mouth, kissing him with a smile he could feel against his lips. Being seen as amusing would have bothered him before, embarrassed him a little, but like this, buried deep into the woman he loved, he soaked it all in like the warmth of sunlight.
They were left alone, fortunately, after Dedue chased the first two knights away. He knew his army was willing to put up with a great deal of difficulty from their prince, but he couldn’t imagine their loyalty would hold as strongly if he murdered one of their own.
But that would have been his only option if someone saw his professor like this. Even if she wasn’t naked, even if there would have been no way to know if they were just kissing or not, he wouldn’t disgrace her like that.
Dimitri would both shield Byleth and kill for her without hesitation. Even when killing was still something that churned his stomach, all she had to do was furrow her brow for him to draw his sword.
Had he loved her this entire time? Even when he wasn’t sure he could trust her?
Had he loved her from the moment he first laid eyes upon her before he even saw her throw herself between a murderous bandit and his step-sister, not out of a sense of loyalty or a need to earn anyone’s favor, but because Edelgard had made the rare mistake of having her back turned and Byleth had agreed to save the three of them because they asked for help.
She would have done it anyway, even if they hadn’t.
And as much as he hated when she put herself in danger, he knew that it was what made them so similar.
So… well-fitted.
“I don’t want to be away from you again,” he whispered.
“So don’t be,” she said, her hand warm upon his cheek, and he knew what she was really asking for. For him to never retreat within himself again and turn his back on her, himself, or his people.
“I won’t,” he swore, and it was a promise he refused to let himself break. No matter what it took or who he had to kill, he would never give this up.
They moved together slowly, their breaths shallow and almost too hard to conceal. Consciously he knew that he had to be careful. He couldn’t start his reign with a bastard, a beloved child whose succession could come into question by those too cowardly to challenge him in life, but that wouldn’t happen regardless of how this night ended. Dimitri already knew he was going to ask Byleth to marry him as soon as this next battle was over, and if for some reason they weren’t patient enough to trust they would win, he would without hesitation marry her at dawnlight. There were enough priests in the company to legitimize it. He just had to point at one.
But he was getting carried away with no way to know what Byleth thought of this, and so he decided that whatever happened would have to be the will of the goddess.
However that worked in this situation.
That night in the tent with his beloved’s arms around him, her mouth warm and open as he thrusted into her, he was not careful at all. And maybe a small part of him welcomed the possibility, that the goddess would grant him the one thing he was most afraid of losing again.
A family.
Perhaps the darkness wasn’t the worst part of him after all because what could have been more awful than the naïveté of hope and that small, whining hunger for happiness and comfort. The desire to belong to someone, not just a kingdom, but to her and to whomever they happened to create together.
Byleth gasped softly beneath him as her body pulsed around him, her muscles tightening and coiling as her nails dragged down his bare back.
His hips jerked automatically, moving faster and harder than he meant to in their state, but he had no choice but to chase it with everything he had.
Maybe he didn’t deserve this kind of pleasure. Deep down, he knew that, but that didn’t mean that Byleth deserved to have hers taken from her. His professor trembled beneath him, her entire body seemingly pulling him in, and he caught her mouth with his own to muffle a cry.
It was that glorious moment of her release that toppled him over the edge. He filled her greedily until he had nothing left in his body to give, and even then, still inside, he reached between them and rubbed her until she had no choice but to slap her hand over her own mouth as he brought her a second time. He only wished there had been enough light to see her face in that moment, but he knew he would be able to hear those soft, whispered words at the end of it every time he closed his eyes.
Dimitri sank onto her body as he fell out, soft and spent as words he never expected to be given were given to him over and over and over again.
Byleth’s arms wound around him as she held him close, both of them out of breath and so weak not even a full scale attack could have gotten them out of this tent.
“Am I crushing you?” Dimitri asked.
“Don’t move,” she whispered, and in that moment, he felt needed. Not as a king or a leader, but as a man. A man who was willing to give his beloved anything she wanted, only starting with himself.
And then Byleth pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him grin like a fool in love.
But maybe that was all he was.
It wasn’t a terrible thing to be.
After a moment of lying together as they caught their breaths, Dimitri gingerly tucked himself away and fixed his pants before finding an unused cloth to help Byleth clean up the inside of her thigh. It was embarrassing, he had to admit, to give a woman he had bedded the same cloth he had planned to polish his sword with, but Byleth didn’t seem to mind.
“Do you need me to find something– a different pair of shorts?” Dimitri asked sheepishly.
“My clothes are fine,” she assured him.
He doubted she was being completely honest with him, but either she didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that he might have soiled her shorts because he was too impatient to take them off or she wanted to keep that piece of him with her a little longer.
He… could very much understand the sentiment, if that were the case.
While he was up, Dimitri grabbed the extra bedding from the other side of the war table and brought it back to his side. There was no way they would sleep separately tonight of all nights—or ever again, for that matter.
With a little extra room for comfort, he lay back down and pulled Byleth to him, feeling quite satisfied with how easily she went along with it. And then a great deal more satisfied when she kissed him on her own, melting their bodies together like they were both born to do nothing but this.
And they did nothing but kiss for quite a while, even as the rest of the camp completely died down, except for the handful of patrolling soldiers. He knew realistically it was time to rest, but…
Not yet.
Not until he got his five years worth. Or six, maybe, if he was honest with himself.
But Dimitri had spent enough time worrying about what was lost in the past for one lifetime, and so instead, he kissed her for what would fill the next five years in case tomorrow didn’t work in their favor. Even though he refused to allow it to do anything but.
“Don’t leave me again,” he whispered.
“I promise,” she said. “But next time be sure to check under the rubble just in case.”
He chuckled to himself, indulging in his professor’s peculiar sense of humor, before he pulled her to his chest to sleep.
It was a nice thing, getting to hold her like this. Too nice for a beast like him, a part of him understood, but if he could be selfish just this once then perhaps the one person whose voice he needed to listen to from now on would allow it.
He carefully rested his hand on the back of her head and closed his eyes, and for the first time in many, many, many years, he fell asleep with a smile upon his face.
The next morning he gathered with his former classmates and instructors to discuss their next move, orders that would spread to the rest of the army quickly and efficiently, thanks to everyone’s desire to ‘work as a team’.
He really did love them all terribly.
“You’re looking well-rested, Your Highness,” Mercedes said warmly. “The tent must have suited you more than your room at the monastery.”
“Not me,” Sylvain said with his arms stretched above his head. “Get me back in a warm bed any day.”
“Yes, because that was the problem. Our tent wasn’t warm enough,” Ingrid said, irritated, as Felix worked out a knot in his neck with a scowl.
Dimitri spared a cautious glance at Dedue to see how he was fairing after being ordered to double-up (or quadruple, in his case), and found him tired and stiff. He likely kept his guard up all night even subconsciously, as he was known to do whenever he thought Dimitri was at risk of being attacked, which was a shame because he thought his orders would have been more ideal, considering the company.
“You didn’t stay up too late, did you, Professor?” Mercedes asked, worried.
“Of course not,” Felix said. “This camp was so scary quiet last night, we would have heard them if they were up planning without is.”
“That’s true,” Annette said cheerfully. “The whole army took His Highness’s orders to heart. Father said the Imperial scouts never even came close to the camp.”
“It pleases me to know that your discomfort wasn’t for nothing,” Dimitri said. “You all have my gratitude for setting an example for the rest of the army, and I promise that this will be the last time.”
“The last time,” Ashe said, almost mournfully. “This is really the end, isn’t it?”
The group watched each other silently, and Dimitri knew it was probably time to give a small word of encouragement, but after the way he’d acted for those few months in front of them, he barely had the audacity. Fortunately, he didn’t have to.
“Thank the goddess,” Sylvain said. “I for one am looking forward to our big victory feast later.”
“Oh! A feast!” Flayn said like she just remembered they tended to follow victories before she prattled on about her favorite cooks amongst the camp and how excited she was to sample so many new cuisines from their new allies.
Dimitri didn’t realize he was smiling until he accidentally locked gazes with Byleth, whose eyes were as bright as they had ever been. Once blank, now they laughed at him. No, with him, and it warmed him thoroughly.
“Ooh! Professor! I’ve been practicing a new spell that could maybe duplicate how those Imperial warlocks bounce around the battlefield so easily, and I wanted to see if we could maybe work something into your battle strategy.”
Dimitri watched as Byleth left with Annette, which prompted the others to disperse as well, all with their own business to attend to.
She was a small green flame within the camp, an auspicious star, and for the first time since he first set out for his revenge, he got a glimpse of what the world would one day look like. Not burning in smoke and ruins, but united under a single banner and led not just by himself.
He watched the woman who he knew without a doubt would be queen walk through the camp with as much respect and reverence as he himself would have received. More, perhaps, because none of them had ever been given a reason to be afraid of her.
Suddenly he felt like a wild dog that had been leashed and was suddenly quite grateful Felix didn’t make the connection in time to make the comparison.
Goddess above—goddess next to the supply cart—he would never hear the end of it.
“Your Highness.”
Dimitri nearly jumped out of his own skin in surprise at the sound of Dedue’s voice, the most polite I’m still here, you know he could have received from his dear friend.
He cleared his throat and turned towards him, hoping that his face wasn’t as red as he feared it was, but if it was, Dedue had the grace not to mention it.
“The camp will be cleared out within the hour,” he said. Dimitri nodded. The cheerful mood of the army wouldn’t last for much longer. He knew more than anyone that he was asking many of them to die for him today, but he also knew that every single person here had something to fight for, whether it was for their own convictions or because they had someone at home they wanted to protect.
It was difficult in that moment not to turn back around.
“Thank you for keeping our tent clear of any wandering knights,” Dimitri said. He didn’t bother to speak of it like it was his own royal commander’s tent with a guest he allowed for the night. He saw it as theirs, and since it was Dedue he was speaking to, he could at least be that honest.
He and Byleth had had breakfast together and coffee before getting dressed, and he had allowed her to help him into his armor, almost like having a squire he was dotingly fond of.
Dimitri pinched his own face to force his expression back. This was not the appropriate place to look so happy.
“It has always been my duty to make sure His Highness is given his privacy,” Dedue said calmly, making Dimitri wince. So much for privacy.
“Forgive me, my old friend, for subjecting you to my–.” He stopped himself before he could put it into words, especially since he knew that neither of them wanted or needed him to. “Well.”
“You do not have to ask forgiveness of me for anything, Your Highness, but if you must know, all I heard were those knights speaking.”
He didn’t want to blurt out anything to stop him from saying anything else because Dedue would have taken it as an order and not a very reasonable reaction to being mortified by the conversation, so all he could do was nod.
“It pleases me to see that your hard work five years ago didn’t go to waste,” Dedue said. Dimitri’s face immediately went flat at the teasing from the least likely source, but Dedue simply looked out at the camp as if he was admiring the scenery. “You’ve gathered many allies.”
“Right,” he said. Being outright laughed at would have been better than this, but of course, Dedue wouldn’t dare.
Then, having gotten it out of his system, he turned back to Dimitri and gave a small bow. “I promise I will defend the professor today as if her life were your own.”
Dimitri’s eyes widened. He didn’t know what he could say to that, only that he was touched and filled with deep appreciation for a friend he had told many times not to defend him at all.
“Thank you,” he said. “Truly.”
“But that being said, I will have to ask His Highness to be careful with his own life this time since my duties will be divided.”
Dimitri laughed. “Of course. I’m always careful with my own life.”
Dedue furrowed his brow.
“Come now, we have too much to do to keep standing here,” he said, stepping away. “We have a war to end.”
Dedue nodded once. “Of course, Your Highness. It will be done.”
Yes, it would be.
In one battle the war would end, and he would have his kingdom and his…
A flash of green moved across the camp, and instinctively he followed after it, knowing without having to really look that it wasn’t Seteth or Flayn. He would know her anywhere even with his eyes closed.
Out of sight, Dimitri grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him for a quick kiss that made them real in the daylight. He felt her stiffen with surprise, but she didn’t pull away or give him the impression of indifference. It was just… new. Unexpected.
“Forgive me, Professor,” he said. “We’ll need to leave soon.”
Byleth nodded that she understood, her eyes bright and cheeks flushed, and he cursed himself then for his sense of responsibility, because his will was too strong to urge her back into his tent.
He kissed the top of her hand like a polite suitor and left with that, knowing that to have what he wanted, he had to fight for it first.
For his kingdom and for himself.