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Kids! We have to go. Now!
Running, running down the corridors the sounds of boots echoing behind them.
He pulled her onward, trying to urge her to be faster. Her hand slipped from his.
Shadow! She cried as he stumbled to a stop.
Maria!
This way kids! A gruff older voice commanded. A white lab coat passed them and the professor grabbed Maria’s hand. Her other hand reached for him. He caught it, running behind now, Maria between him and the professor.
Grandpa, what’s going on?
They want to take Shadow away from us, Maria!
Take him away?
Her blue eyes full of fear met his for a brief second as they ran.
No, they couldn’t. He wanted to stay with her; with the professor!
The main exit doors were ahead. A place Shadow had never been allowed to go before. Someone was shouting behind them.
What are you doing? Those are children!
We have our orders!
Gunfire. The glass canisters filled with fiery chaos energy cracked, flared.
Her screams filled his mind, her hand torn from his as the world erupts in fire.
No, no, no! He didn’t want to see anymore. Didn’t want to remember the next part. See her…lying there…NO!
He needed to wake up. He needed this pain to stop! What would make it stop?
It’s what do they deserve! Remember what she meant to us. Remember what they took from us.
She was gone. The light was gone! Yes, he wanted revenge!
His chest pounded and he wanted to scream. It hurt. It hurts so much. Why? Why did she have to die?
You hurt my family! Another voice cried, full of golden rage.
So what? His family had been taken too! Why then did he feel sick? Shadow tried to swallow, tried to breath.
Oh.
He was on the moon, looking up at a golden hedgehog with furious red eyes, fist raised. But then the glow dimmed and the golden figure let go. He turned away and the golden glow faded to blue.
What are you doing? You won! Take your revenge!
Revenge was the answer to pain, wasn’t it?
There are no winners in revenge.
Shame and despair tore through his heart. No winners. No end. So why? Why did the other one stop?
The last time I sat beneath the stars, I was with her. I’ve felt this pain for so long…it’s all I know.
When I lost Longclaw, I felt the same way.
Longclaw? Who was that? Not the one Shadow had struck. Was that why Blue got so angry? Had he lost someone else before? And he had struck someone else—a man—down.
Did your pain eventually go away?
No.
No. It rattled around in his mind like an alarm, blaring that something was wrong. Yet this other one didn’t act like he was hurting too.
But, Blue went on, cutting through the noise and rendering it silent, In time I learned there is something even more powerful than pain: the love we felt for each other. That’s what you need to hold onto…Maria might be gone, but your love will always remain.
Love remains. Love is more powerful than pain.
Was it truly? He wanted it to be true. He hurt so much. But the voice, Blue? Blue said love was more powerful. But how?
No, Blue wasn’t his name. It was something else.
Damn it, he needed to wake up! He didn’t want to relive this anymore! Yes, the blue hedgehog helped, but that didn’t mean Shadow didn’t still hurt. She was gone. The light shines…no. No, he wasn’t going to think about that either. It may be true, but right now it just hurt.
He forces the memories away. Was love more powerful than pain? Maybe. But he couldn’t think about that anymore. Instead, he focuses on his body and the sensations he can feel. Cool air ruffled his fur and quills. He was laying on his back on something rough and hard. The smell of pine and grass and wood and water filled his nose as he took a deep breath. Not the lab. He wasn’t in the lab.
With great effort, he works on opening one eye. He manages a crack. Then a blink. Nothing changed. Nothing. It remained dark. Confused, he blinks, opening his eye more this time. Trying to focus but everything was dark. Wait, those were lights up above. Just small dots, so far away.
…stars. They were stars. How did he not notice them?
Wow! Look at those stars. They’re like diamonds.
Shadow closes his eyes again, trying to swallow but coming up dry. He fell asleep it seems. He wished he hadn’t. He was so tired of re-living it over and over. Not to mention the new dreams from what he’d done in retaliation.
With a soft grunt, Shadow forced himself to sit up and open his eyes to look around. Around him, tall pines and oaks rustled with the night breeze. The moss near his feet smelled wet and green where it clung to slatted wood. He turned his head, looking toward the round window in the roof on which he lay. It was still cracked open, letting in the cool night air.
He better get back inside before someone noticed he was gone.
Idiots. All of the Wachowskis. Taking in a creature like him.
So what if he’d been badly injured or that Sonic apparently found him and brought him back to their home? The Wachowskis should have tossed him out. Left him to fend for himself. He deserved to be alone after everything he’d done. But green eyes full of warmth had begged him to stay and somehow rooted him in place.
Shadow had reluctantly agreed. But he didn’t trust the humans. He watched them closely. Every day his first week here he waited for G.U.N to come, for the Wachowskis to kick him out for what he’d done to them and nearly to the world. Only G.U.N never came and the Wachowskis didn’t say anything about him leaving. Instead, they did the opposite. They included him in everything from meals, to games and movie nights and talk of races and warrior training and inventions and ducks that used the crosswalk and the grumpy cat that belonged to a woman called Mrs. Osborne.
Three days ago, at the start of his second week here, they got him a bed like the other three. A homemade bed. Built by Tom and painted by Maddie according to Tails. Ridiculous. What did a test subject like Shadow need with such a thing? He had not been able to sleep in it for more than a few hours since.
Still, his absence from it would be noted. It would not do to be caught not in the bed when the Wachowskis called the aliens all down for breakfast. Best to be back where he was meant to be.
Carefully, Shadow creeps back to the round window in the roof and peers down. String lights cast a gentle glow in the otherwise dark attic room, making it easy to see the three brothers below in their beds. Sonic was sleeping on his side, mouth open and drooling, mumbling now and then. Knuckles, the red echidna, lay flat on his back, large hands resting at his sides, completely silent save for his deep, relaxed breathing. Tails, a fox kit with two tails, was curled around something, his yellow tails fluffed out to act as a second blanket beneath the other.
Good.
He glanced to the right. Shadow’s bed was beside Sonic’s and near the wall. The bed was shaped like a rocket ship and painted red, black, and gold with soft green sheets. It was ridiculous and utterly childish. And comfortable. Too comfortable. Which was why Shadow snuck up onto the roof.
Gingerly, making sure his socks didn’t snag, Shadow sat on the edge of the window before sliding in, catching the sill and swinging his legs to give himself momentum before he dropped, landing with a bounce on the rocket ship bed.
Shadow froze, quills and fur on end, waiting for Knuckle to wake, to growl at him to desist clambering around and interrupting his warrior rest. That had happened twice in the past week alone when Shadow’s restlessness had him moving around. The last thing he needed was Knuckles telling Tom and Maddie that Shadow wasn’t in bed like he was told.
No words came or change in breathing for any of the other aliens. Shadow’s quills relaxed. He sat and wiggled around on the bed, getting the blanket back over himself as he settled in for the last couple hours of the night.
Staying awake most nights was catching up to him apparently, because the next thing Shadow knew Knuckles was bellowing like a train, startling him awake. The dark hedgehog sat up, rubbing his eyes in order to better glare at the other occupants of the room. Tails was sitting up in his bed and glaring at Sonic and Knuckles too, just as annoyed as Shadow. Not that the echidna or blue menace were paying either of them any attention, so intent on the other at the moment.
Sonic was grinning at his brother, taunting. “Been slacking off in that warrior training, Knucklehead. You’ll never catch me being that slow!”
The blue hedgehog launched a pillow at the echidna. Knuckles batted it away with a growl. “Sonic!”
Sonic zips downstairs cackling and Knuckles storms down after him, yelling something about warriors, honor and training. Shadow distantly hears Maddie chiding them over Knuckles’ bellows and Sonic’s laughter, reminding them to not use their powers in the house and no wrestling either. It broke too much furniture.
“Tails! Shadow!” Maddie calls upstairs. “Time to get up. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.”
Shadow resisted the urge to groan and hide back under the covers as yet another day began in this absurd house.
Breakfast was chaotic, which Shadow was learning was the norm. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were all talking and eager to eat. It was something called French Toast this morning. Tom was at the stove, flipping the bread on the griddle while Maddie poured glasses of orange juice. Shadow crawled up into his chair and sat. He wished he was still on the roof. When everything was ready, the humans fixed up several plates and brought them to the table and put one in front of each alien. Sonic’s had equal portions of French Toast, bacon, and fruit. But Knuckles had a larger portion of eggs and fruit and Tails, while with far smaller portions, had more bacon then either of the other two.
“Good morning, Shadow,” Tom said, as he set a plate in front of the dark hedgehog. Shadow’s plate was evenly portioned like Sonic’s but with smaller amounts just like Tails. “Let us know if you want any more.”
Shadow ignored him and picked up his fork. It was more than the scientists ever used to give him and would suit him fine. He was not a glutton like the other three.
After being so rudely woken up by Sonic and Knuckles on top of his earlier nightmare, Shadow was in no mood for Sonic’s usual antics. He glared the blue hedgehog down with a silent snarl when he tried to pour syrup all over Shadow’s French Toast. While Shadow likes the sweet syrup, he did not like it to drown his food! He snatched the bottle away from him and did it himself, pouring just enough to enjoy it, before setting it aside with a pointed look. Sonic has the good grace to look sheepish and leave Shadow alone for the rest of the meal.
Breakfast over, Sonic and Tails load the dishwasher while Maddie washes the pans and Knuckles dried them with a towel. Tom disappeared upstairs to put on his uniform. Leaving Shadow to slink from the room toward to couch in the living room, unsure what to do. He decided to read more of the history book Tails had offered him. It was dull, but informative at least. Much had happened while he’d been locked away. Sonic had shared his comic collection too. That was moderately interesting, but Shadow preferred the history book at the moment.
A few minutes later, Tom and Maddie said goodbye and headed off to work. Shadow watched them go with a quiet resignation. As wary as Shadow was of the humans, the one good thing about having them in the house was they kept the other aliens in check. Without them, the three tended to get very loud as Shadow had learned. Sonic especially.
This morning was apparently a video game morning so it was definitely loud as Sonic and Knuckles bickered as they played, with Tails often sneaking ahead of them to win while they were distracted. Shadow found it interesting to watch. The games were so realistic and sometimes bizarre. Currently they were playing the game with the strange little man in blue overalls, red cap, and bushy mustache and a host of other odder creatures as they raced around a track covered in mushrooms. Sonic always got a strange expression on his face when they played that course and grumbled about hating mushrooms.
Currently, Knuckles was winning and teasing Sonic mercilessly.
“It would seem you are not that fast after all, hedgehog.”
“Lies and slander!” Sonic squawked. “You knocked me off the track, you jerk.”
“You got in the way,” Knuckles replied, with a shrug, his expression turning smug as he crossed the finish line first. “If you really were the fastest, I would not have done so.”
Shadow snickered, earning a betrayed look from Sonic. Shadow smirked at him and then pointedly returned to his book as Sonic spluttered. Sonic demanded a re-match as even Tails beat him to the finish line. The fox seemed just as amused as the echidna at Sonic’s complaints. Both agreed to another race.
With the three aliens occupied, Shadow focused more diligently on the history book in his lap. It did not paint a great picture of humanity. He had just reached the 2000s and when the Twin Towers in New York were destroyed when a hand touched his shoulder. Shadow jumped and instinctively snarls, quills bristling as he looks up.
“Whoa, easy dude!” Sonic exclaimed, holding his hands up in a calming gesture. “Sorry for startling you. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to team up with me and beat Knux and Tails in a tournament.”
“No.” His answer was swift and final. Not that it stopped Sonic.
“Come on! It will be fun! Gotta be better then reading that boring old thing.” Sonic waved at the heavy book.
Shadow glowered, unwilling to let Sonic know he actually appreciated the interruption of his reading. Instead, he just repeated his previous response and emphasized it with a shake of the head. “No.”
“Aw, why not? You didn’t do too bad last time, you know.”
No, he’d been terrible and Shadow was not interested in a repeat. Shadow glowered at the blue hedgehog, making his irritation clear. Judging by Sonic’s pleading gaze, however, he would not be left alone anytime soon.
With an annoyed huff, Shadow stood and left his book on the chair, ignoring Sonic’s continued whining and pleading to play with them. Stupid hedgehog! He did not want to try playing any stupid racing game or party game or whatever it was. His chest felt tight, like a fist had clamped over his insides, making breathing harder.
He stomps up the stairs to the second floor and then up the attic steps, determined to take a nap or maybe climb back onto the roof to watch the clouds. Preferably alone. Anything to be alone to make this feeling go away.
Damn it, why was his chaos energy taking so long to recover? If he could teleport this would be so much easier! He marches onto the attic threshold, determined to get up onto the roof again and lock the window somehow so Sonic would maybe take a hint and leave him be for a couple hours at least.
Only to freeze at a rather unexpected sight.
There, sitting on his rocket ship bed beside his pillow, sat a teddy bear.
The last teddy bear Shadow saw was Maria’s bear, Honey. He was often their ally in Maria’s schemes to get Shadow away from the scientists for a few hours. Maria had said Honey was a gift from her parents when she was little and that they’d certainly approve of him helping her take care of Shadow, her best friend. The bear on his bed was not like Honey. For one, blue star patches appeared sewn on the head and stomach, standing out from the caramel color of the rest of its fur. For another, it was fluffier with shorter legs and arms.
Shadow reaches out, tracing the stitching around the stars lightly, bewildered. Why did it have stars on it? Was something wrong with it? Shadow didn’t think so. But why the patches?
More importantly, where did it come from and why was it on his bed?
A whoosh of air. “Hey Shads—oh!”
Shadow turns to Sonic, who stands behind him, peering at toy in the dark hedgehog’s grasp.
“Do you like it?”
Shadow swallows around a lump in his throat. “It’s from you?”
Sonic shook his head, cheerful as ever. “Nope! It’s from Tom. I recognize his stitch work.”
“Tom?!” Shadow’s mouth falls open. He squeezes the bear in his hand to make sure it was indeed real. It was. And surprisingly soft. Wait, did Sonic say something about recognizing stitches?
“Tom…sewed this?”
For me?
“Yep!”
Shadow thought his world had already been upended. How was it he felt like he was free falling from space again?
“Tom made this?” Shadow demands, shaking the bear at the other hedgehog, scrambling to make sense of this. Surely, Sonic’s joking!
“Hmm.” Sonic steps closer, leaning down and studying the bear. “No, I think he fixed her up. He must have found it and thought of you.” Sonic shrugs like that were normal. Normal!
“Why?” Why would Tom fix up a teddy bear of all things and give it to Shadow? Shadow didn’t talk to the man. He made a point to stay away from him unless there was no other choice like at mealtimes or movie nights. Why would he give Shadow a teddy bear?
Sonic’s green eyes met his, smile softening and knowing in a way that makes Shadow want to punch him. “Because he wanted to, Shads. That’s all.”
Like it really was so simple. Absurd!
Before Shadow could respond that no, it most definitely could not be as simple as Tom just wanting to, there was a blur of blue. Then Sonic was back in front of him, holding out something. “Meet Tinyclaw!”
Shadow’s brow furrows as he studies the lumpy thing in Sonic’s hands. It’s a colorful shaped stuffed animal of some kind with wings. The beak was short and curved, the face quite round to match its larger round body and two feathers stood up on its head on either side, like ears or maybe a crown. An owl. Gingerly, Shadow accepts the owl from Sonic in one hand, careful not to crush it. The owl was almost entirely made of a patch work of mis-matched fabrics with only a few brown patches that look original and incredibly worn. Blue glass eyes peered at him, impossibly knowing for an inanimate object.
“Tom fixed her up for me after I found her at the dump. Washed, stuffed, sewed and everything! Gave it to me a few days later.” Sonic hesitates, one hand scratching at his quills. His voice dropping to a far quieter volume. “I brought her to bed with me every night my first year living here. She…she’s a symbol of home, you know? Of my family. Even those who aren’t here anymore. She brought them both together for me.”
Shadow’s throat tightens. When I lost Longclaw, I felt the same way. Longclaw. That must be who Sonic meant. Shadow didn’t know the full story, did not have the courage to ask what exactly happened to her. But the small stuffed owl in Shadow’s hand right now was a reminder of her.
Wait, did this mean Longclaw was an owl? But Sonic said he and Shadow were hedgehogs?
Before Shadow can ask any questions, Sonic turns, drawing his attention up from the tiny stuffed family member. Sonic points the nightstand by Knuckles’ bed and the large gray toy that sat there. “That’s Tusk the elephant. Tom found him. Fixed him up and gave him to Knuckles when he became obsessed with elephants after watching a documentary. They are the strongest land animal on Earth after all. Besides us anyway. And this,” Sonic walks over to Tails’ bed, plucking a smaller stuffed animal out from its hiding place under Tails pillow, “Is Mrs. Mossfern the otter. Tom crocheted her for Tails.”
The crocheted animal appeared to be an otter holding a tiny yellow star. She looked incredibly soft. Shadow’s nose wrinkled, a familiar scent clinging to the yarn. Peppermint. The barest hint. Oh, Shadow thought the mint smell came from the empty mint tins Tails liked to hide in a cubby hole by the head of his yellow plane bed.
He looks at Tinyclaw in one hand and then at the star bear he held in the other. They all had stuffed animals. Shadow now included. Just like he had a bed all his own and his chair at the dining room table.
“I-I don’t understand,” Shadow whispers, ears flicking back, looking at the star covered bear in his hand as Sonic took Tinyclaw back. Why? Why would the man do this when Shadow nearly killed him? Nearly killed his kids? Why didn’t he glare or demand Shadow do something for them to pay for his crimes? Instead, he keeps giving Shadow things and asking him questions, asking for Shadow’s opinion like it matters and letting Shadow ignore him without reprimand for his disrespect.
Shadow didn’t realize his breaths were coming short gasps until Sonic’s voice cut through the fog. “Whoa dude, calm down. It’s okay.”
No, it was not okay! Why couldn’t Tom just behave like…like a normal man? Men were not nice or patient or silly! They were harsh and strict and demanding.
“Hey,” A warm paw grips Shadow’s shoulder, squeezing and pulling him from the spiral in his mind. Shadow blinks, focusing on Sonic. “Tom wants you to feel welcome here, Shadow. But you can do what you want with it. Knuckles leaves Tusk by his bed, obviously Tails keeps Mrs. Mossfern close. Tinyclaw, well—” Sonic’s muzzle reddened a little— “she’s there when I need her. Your teddy…you can do what you want with her. She can stay on your bed, on the dresser or stuffed in a drawer. It’s your choice. The point is just to, you know, give you something nice.”
Shadow couldn’t name the feeling twisting and flooding his insides, making his inner organs ache. Unconsciously, he brought the teddy bear closer to his chest, feeling how soft and plump it was. “I don’t deserve it. Any of it.”
The same thought has been on repeat in Shadow’s mind ever since he woke up that day to find the dream he had of someone helping him and soothing his pain was actually real as the Wachowskis tended his wounds. He didn’t deserve their kindness. He didn’t deserve their compassion. But they offered it anyway. They freely offered him food and shelter; a bed like their other children. It irritates Shadow to no end.
“To quote Wonder Woman,” Sonic says as he turns and tucks Tinyclaw back into the drawer of his nightstand, “it’s not about deserve. Besides, I’d argue you do deserve nice things.”
“I almost destroyed the world!” Shadow snarls, taking a menacing step forward, hating how flippant Sonic was.
“Yeah, almost.” Sonic matches him, step for step, nose to nose. “In the end, you made a different choice, didn’t you?”
The blue hedgehog’s stare cuts through Shadow’s pretension like butter. Shadow wilts, looking away in shame. Yes, he had made a different choice. After Sonic knocked him flat and then chosen not to finish his own pursuit of revenge. And Sonic had been furious with him, Shadow knew. He’d taunted Sonic with it because he’d wanted to make it clear to the blue fool that his attempts to talk Shadow out of revenge before were baseless since Sonic was doing the same thing. He had no reason to be lecturing Shadow when the hero was pursuing revenge at any cost too. Maybe it had been a little disappointing too, to see the blue hedgehog somehow turn gold and seek vengeance. Maybe even a bit frightening.
Yet Sonic had stopped himself, made the choice to not see revenge through. There are no winners with revenge. Instead, he offered comfort and compassion and a chance to make things right together. The light shines even though the star is gone. Turned out the fool was Shadow all along.
Shadow steps back, arms crossing tight across his chest again. Still feeling the fool, unable to understand.
“I don’t understand,” Shadow admits, the words sharp as needles. “I tried to kill him.”
“Shads,” Sonic says, using that stupid nickname and sounding aggravatingly patient. “We’ve been over this. You thought he was Walters. You wouldn’t have attacked like that otherwise. I forgive you. So does the rest of the family.”
Shadow just scowls and turned away from Sonic, stomping toward the window. He wasn’t having this argument again. The last time Shadow declared they shouldn’t forgive him, Sonic had shrugged carelessly and said that wasn’t how forgiveness worked. Whatever else the blue hedgehog said had been lost because Shadow had been too busy trying to grasp what Sonic meant by forgiveness not working that way. Because how did it work then?!
Honestly, why was he still here? He was healed. He could leave anytime.
He should leave.
…and go where?
If G.U.N. learned he was alive they would hunt him down. That threat alone should have gotten Shadow out the door a week ago when he’d been able to walk again. Except as Sonic had shrewdly pointed out, with the three aliens here, G.U.N. was actually less likely to hear about him then if he was spotted anywhere else. The residents of Green Hills were used to the Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails and accepted them. They also were not too keen on G.U.N. after everything they’d done. They wouldn’t say anything to anyone about there being another alien in town. And this way Shadow had back-up to fight against G.U.N. if they came.
It was one of the main reasons that had Shadow accepting Sonic’s offer to stay.
That reality is unchanged. Sure, he is mostly healed up now. But he still has nowhere else to go. Not unless he wants to be on the run, hiding, and constantly looking over his shoulder. He could do it; find somewhere to hide out in the world. Shadow knew he could. But the thought of it settles like a stone in his gut, leaving him shaky and struggling to breathe again.
Silence stretches between the hedgehogs, unatural and sticky. Shadow didn’t like it. But he refused to break it.
“Well,” Sonic drawls after several minutes, “You could always ask Tom yourself why he gave the bear to you if you really want to know. Have to quit being a scaredy cat and avoiding him though.”
Shadow whirls at that insult, baring his teeth in a snarl. “You’re making me want to hit you again, hedgehog!”
Sonic arches a brow, turning on his heel and flopping onto the red chair called a beanbag, completely unbothered by the threat. Shadow scowls, hands fisting as he glares. Stupid hedgehog!
So what if he was avoiding Tom? The man didn’t make any sense. His wife wasn’t much better, though as a doctor some of her actions made sense as she treated his injuries. He refused to think about those moments when he felt safe when Sonic first brought him here. When a steady presence and warm, gentle touch calmed and reassured and cradled him close and carried him. Of a matching quiet masculine voice rumbling in his ear, soothing him, promising he was safe. No, that was just a dream. A product of his mind from all the pain and confusion. Nothing more.
“I don’t need to talk to the human,” Shadow dismisses, words frosty with disdain.
“His name,” Sonic says evenly, “is Tom.”
Shadow refuses to squirm, making sure his tail did not tuck between his legs like it wants to. He does however lower his eyes toward the floor, ears flicking back, not able to withstand the blue hedgehog’s somber gaze. Sonic waits a moment before continuing. “And you let Maddie brush your quills the other day. Surely, having a conversation with Tom is less scary than that.”
Shadow bares his fangs, not appreciating Sonic pointing out how ridiculous he was acting. “I am not scared!”
Sonic didn’t even blink. Simply looks at him and waits. Shadow growls again, eyes glowing with his anger. He cannot let Sonic think he is afraid of the blue hedgehog’s favorite human. He wasn’t!
No, it’s worse than that. Shadow is terrified.
Tom doesn’t fit anything Shadow knows. He wasn’t demanding or gruff like the professor or the soldiers. Not dismissive like the professor’s grandson or indulgent like his companion. Even Maddie Wachowski was a veterinarian, an animal doctor! She has the calm and control Shadow expects. Though she could certainly behave oddly too, asking him so many questions and giving him choices and being too nice. It was nothing compared to her husband.
What human told the monster that tried to murder him that he forgave him? Provided a home and food for that same monster? Especially a sheriff? Sheriffs were supposed to be about law and order and protecting innocents like in the Westerns shows Maria had shown him. Sheriffs were supposed to be serious. Tom was not serious. He made lame jokes and teased the other aliens as much as he kept them in line. Which he did with a relaxed authority that made no sense to Shadow. Shadow just didn’t understand Tom Wachowski. And he did not like it.
“Yeeaah,” Sonic says, dragging the word out, making Shadow’s fur bristle at the clear disbelief in the word. “That’s good. Glad you’re not afraid. So you won’t have any trouble talking to Tom when he gets home and asking him about the bear yourself, will you?” Sonic hops up to stand with hands on his hips, a challenging grin on his muzzle. “Since you’re not scared and don’t believe me and all.”
Shadow’s eyes grow wide in horror before narrowing into a deadly glare at the smug speedster. Sonic remains annoyingly unbothered, just waiting expectantly again. The dark hedgehog found his gaze dropping back to the floor, arms tightening where they cross around his middle.
He didn’t want to talk to Tom. He couldn’t! What would he even say and why would Tom answer him? Shadow had done nothing but disrespect and ignore the man for nearly two weeks.
“No,” Shadow mumbles. “I can’t. He—he won’t talk to me.”
A paltry excuse at best. They both knew that Tom had been trying to talk to Shadow since he agreed to stay. Shadow was the one who wouldn’t talk to him.
“Shadow,” Sonic says, tone gentling, making Shadow’s ears flick toward him. “Tom told you he forgave you.”
That has Shadow taking a hasty step back, both ears flattening in surprise.
How did Sonic know that? Had he heard before he and Knuckles entered the living room that day? How? They were arguing so loud Shadow was sure they could not have.
Shadow had only been in the Wachowski household a couple days at that point. He couldn’t walk quite yet and had been confined to the couch unless Sonic or Knuckles helped him to another room. Tom had come into the living room and sat down on the coffee table, facing Shadow. Shadow had desperately wanted to crawl away and hide, but instead he’d settled for a glower. Hoping to scare the human away. Only Tom didn’t get scared or leave. Instead, he’d talked to Shadow despite his silence.
“Hey kiddo. I think we need to clear the air. Sonic explained a bit about why you’re so angry and did what you did. He also told us how you talked and then worked together to stop the Eclipse Canon.”
Tom had paused, as if waiting for Shadow to speak. But Shadow had refused, desperately trying to keep his breathing steady, fists clenching tight around the blanket cover his lap. After a minute, Tom went on. “I wanted to tell you that I don’t hold what you did to me against you. I forgive you. You’re safe here. All right? You don’t need to worry about G.U.N. or anything.”
Safe? Hah! So far that may be true, but Shadow didn’t doubt that one toe out of line and he’d be kicked to the curb, or worse, kicked to GUN. He had refused to answer, relieved when Knuckles and Sonic came in arguing about something with Ozzy the dog trotting beside them and drawing Tom’s attention away.
Now, after being in this strange house for nearly two weeks, Shadow figured that Tom may have been serious about keeping him away from G.U.N. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails had told him the same and it seemed to be true. But that did not mean Tom had actually forgiven Shadow. Shadow had nearly killed him! Meant to kill him, or rather, kill Walters. That Tom survived and, according to Sonic, had not been too badly hurt was a miracle Shadow didn’t understand. It eased the sharpness that seemed to live in his chest all the time, knowing that he had not killed the human Sonic treasured.
None of that explained how Sonic knew about it.
“How do you know what he said?” Shadow demands, ears flicking repeatedly. “Did you make him say that?”
Sonic rolled his eyes. “Of course not! I can’t make Tom do anything anymore then he can make me. I know because he said he was going to talk to you because he could tell you were scared.”
Heat burned Shadow’s muzzle. Showing such fear was a big mistake.
“Give Tom a chance.” Sonic implores. “It will be okay if you talk to him. I promise. Ask him whatever you like. He’ll answer and won’t get mad or anything.”
Would he? Shadow wasn’t sure. But what other excuse could he give to not talk to the man? Unless, he accepts what Sonic said earlier about Tom giving the teddy bear to Shadow just because he wanted to. A bed was understandable. Shadow needed a place to sleep according to household rules. Even if making the bed frame a rocket ship was ridiculous. The teddy bear, however, makes no sense at all. It was too much. Shadow needs to understand and he was tired of not being able to. Which really only left him with one choice.
Swallowing, Shadow finally nods. “I’ll speak to him.”
Sonic studies him, seeming to see right through him, down to all the cracks and fissures. Shadow hates it. He tightens his grip on his elbows and glares back, hoping the heat that burned his twitching ears wasn’t visible.
Of course, Sonic isn’t bothered by his glare at all. He was going to have to remedy that in one of those spars that Knuckles was often talking about them having. That would fix this problem. Stupid hedgehog.
“Great! Well, come on buddy.” Sonic nudges his shoulder playfully. “Let’s go play a round of Mario Party. You’ll do better this time, I’m sure of it. Besides, we gotta beat Knux and Tails! Can’t let them claim to be faster than us, right? Oh, but you might want to leave your bear here.”
Shadow blanches. Slowly, the black hedgehog glances down and there she is, clutched tight against his chest. Had he really been holding her this whole time?
The stupid grin on Sonic’s muzzle made it clear that yes, yes, he had.
Flushing furiously, Shadow tosses the bear onto the bed. “Get out of the way!” Shadow hisses, stomping past Sonic and back down the stairs, ignoring Sonic’s chuckles behind him. He would help Sonic beat Knuckles and Tails in the game and then Shadow was going to obliterate the blue idiot personally!
The afternoon dragged by, yet also seemed to go too fast. Absurd, of course. Even knowing that time was passing as it should since he was awake, Shadow couldn’t help but feeling like it was racing ahead, whether or not he was ready. At least he managed to land a surprise punch on Sonic before they took off racing through the countryside. Shadow may not be able to run at full speed yet, but he was glad to get out the house and move. Sonic seemed to understand that. Stupid observant fool.
Maddie came home first. She told the other aliens to get their chores done while she cleaned up before starting dinner. Chores consisted of cleaning up any messes in the house from the day, sweeping, vacuuming, dusting and mopping—daily tasks Tails had explained because all of them shed so much fur everywhere as he flew around the room with his tails spinning as he dusted up high while Shadow had watched from his spot on the couch. And Knuckles, Sonic, and now Shadow shed quills too. Then there was Ozzy, the dog. He shed lots of fur as well. Shadow wonders if Tails spinning his appendages like that inside didn’t make more of a mess though.
Sonic had to do his chores at normal speed. ‘Practice for slowing down,’ Maddie said. Which had Sonic mumbling complaints, but he didn’t look that annoyed. Shadow felt weird just watching the other three bustle about cleaning. Today, he decided to see if maybe he could do something too. No reason to give the Wachowskis cause to kick him out. So he approached Sonic, asking if he could help. The blue hedgehog tilted his head, clearly surprised.
He stared for so long Shadow almost turned and left. But Sonic finally answered. “Uh sure. You can hold the dustpan.”
Its demeaning, crouching down so Sonic can use the broom to push the debris from the kitchen and entry hall into the dustpan. So beneath him! Yet there is some satisfaction in it too, being able to participate and help just a little and prove he wasn’t an absolute burden to this family.
Shadow catches Maddie’s surprised but pleased expression out of the corner of his eyes. Good. At least she saw that Shadow could be useful too.
Unfortunately, by six o’clock when Tom usually came home, Shadow’s insides are twisting and aching like one of the scientists’ experiments to examine his organs had been going on for hours. He sat at the kitchen table in his chair, staring at his lap, knowing there was no chance he’d be able to eat anything. Beside him, the other aliens chattered on as Maddie finished making dinner. There were talking about some mutant turtles or something. Shadow wasn’t interested.
How was he supposed to ask Tom about the teddy bear? Surely just blurting out the question would make everyone stare, maybe even laugh. And what if Tom didn’t answer? Shadow shuddered. Tom might just ignore him, considering how hard Shadow had been working to ignore him.
The dog, Ozzie, barked from the living room, announcing the sheriff’s arrival, happily trotting to the entry to greet the human. Tom returns the greeting with equal enthusiasm, kneeling down and petting the dog’s head and giving him a belly rub before standing.
“Welcome home Donut Lord!” Sonic called. Knuckles and Tails echo him.
“Welcome home, Tom!”
“Welcome back, Lord of Donuts. I trust you and my apprentice successfully protected our town today without incident.”
“That we did, champ. Though Mrs. Robinson might dispute that since Lady escaped her pen and was snacking in her garden again.”
Sonic chortled. “Lady isn’t very ladylike! But she’s got good taste. Professor Sprout has some of the best crops in Green Hills!”
“And how would you know that?” Tom asks, crossing his arms in a mock stern look at Sonic. Sonic makes an odd noise. “Oh, you know. Tried some for myself a time or two maybe.”
“Uh huh.” Tom doesn’t seem really upset though he frowns at Sonic.
“Lady is Old Man Dawson’s prize goat,” Tails whispered to Shadow. “She is very good at escaping her pen and loves to eat whatever Professor Sprout has planted in her garden and greenhouse.”
Shadow was confused for a moment before remembering that Sonic tended to have nicknames for the people of Green Hills. Tom and Maddie were Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady. Professor Sprout must be his nickname for this Mrs. Robinson.
Knuckles hums, nodding sagely as Tails explained to Shadow. “A true artist of escape the Lady of goats is. You caught her?”
“Yep. Got her rounded up and back in her pen really quick once Nick reported Lady missing. Not before she ate an entire rose bush and a quarter of her tomato plants however. Ava was not happy.”
Maddie moaned in sympathy from the stove where she monitored the pot of spaghetti. “I imagine not! And her tomatoes are some of the best! I wonder if she’ll have enough for the Farmer’s Market to sell. I was planning to buy some Saturday.”
“What shall be done to fix this wrong?” Knuckles demands, standing up in his chair. “The professor of Sprouts lost much to the goat’s mischief.”
“Sit down, Knuckles,” Tom said, pointing a finger at the echidna. “Nick agreed to pay her what she would have gotten for selling the tomatoes. And is reinforcing Lady’s pen to keep her from escaping. Again.”
Knuckles sat down as instructed, not looking completely pacified. Sonic however is snickering. “Lady is an expert on escaping though.”
“Maybe I could help?” Tails offers. “I could rig up a system to alert Old Man Dawson that Lady is escaping.”
Before Tom can respond, his pocket begins to ring. His mobile phone. The man pulls it out with a frown. Sonic however, answers the fox. “Might be easier just to plant a garden next to Lady’s pen for her to sneak out to eat. You know how long she’s been escaping her pen?”
Whatever else Sonic said, Shadow tuned out. His attention stuck on Tom as the man steps back into the hall to answer the call. Shadow couldn’t hear what was said thanks to how noisy the others were discussing how to best keep the goat from eating anymore of Professor Sprout’s garden, but he pays attention to Tom’s expression. There is something like surprise that hardens to a sternness Shadow did not believe the man capable of. He says something then hangs up.
Shadow blinks. Surprised. What was wrong?
Tom doesn’t actually say anything, instead glancing at Maddie, who somehow senses her husband’s regard. She looks up from where she is draining the spaghetti in the strainer at the sink and meets his gaze. Try as Shadow might, he cannot understand what or even how they are communicating. Maddie lips press together and she dips her head. Shadow glances back at Tom to find him putting his gun belt back on and grabbing his keys.
Shadow frowns, confused. Where was he going? What did that look Tom and Maddie share mean?
But there were no words exchanged or anymore looks. Tom went back out the front door, walking much faster than when he came in.
Sonic notices Tom is gone first and looks at Maddie. “Where’d Dad go?”
Concern laces the question. Everyone looks at Maddie.
“Work call. He’ll be home later.”
“Oh. Can I—”
“No, Sonic,” Maddie replies before he can finish. She gives the blue hedgehog a stern look. “You know the rules about Tom’s work. Now come on, help me get the food on the table so we can eat.”
What rules? From Shadow’s time in the house so far, the rules Maddie and Tom had for the aliens were nothing like the rules GUN had at the ARK. No dirty shoes on Maddie’s floor; no fighting in the house; no using powers in the house either. Not that Sonic was very good at listening to that one considering he ran around a lot. Hence the chores having to be done at normal speed.
But Maddie didn’t elaborate on these apparent other rules. Sonic drooped in his chair for a moment, body hunching in so fast it makes Shadow’s fur bristle. What’s wrong? Shadow wanted to know!
Then Sonic straightened, and hopped down, hurrying to help Maddie bring over the pot of spaghetti and large serving bowls of salad and green beans. “Right. I’m starving!”
And that was the end of it. Knuckles and Tails didn’t seem bothered by Tom’s absence after Maddie’s explanation. Shadow caught Sonic glancing towards the front door a few times, but then his full focus was on dinner and whatever exactly it was his brothers were discussing. Shadow wasn’t sure because he’d tuned it out as he picks at his green beans, pushing it into the tomato meat sauce from his spaghetti. The twisty, hollow feeling was back and worse than before. He wasn’t hungry.
Tom missed dinner. He missed clean up and the start of the evening movie.
Shadow didn’t really know what the movie was about nor did he particularly care. He focuses on listening outside for the Wachowski family pick-up truck instead, determined to be ready for whatever threat was coming his way.
Where was Tom?
Did he go to GUN and meet with someone? Director Rockwell?
No, surely Sonic would have reacted more. Sonic and Maddie acted like this happened occasionally. There were rules about it. And Sonic promised Shadow he was safe here. Fist bumping on it even. Tails had happily explained that a fist bump was an unbreakable promise. Something had flickered behind Sonic’s eyes, something like guilt, before he’d agreed.
He tried to pay attention to the movie again, but found it too irritating to care after more than a few minutes. He much preferred the one called The Matrix, not that he would ever admit it to Sonic. The other hedgehog would never shut up about it and how Shadow sounded like one of the actors. Someone called Keen-ah-nuu or something.
The black hedgehog glances at the clock again. Tom still wasn’t home and the movie surely was almost over. It was nearly nine o’clock. Would Maddie tell them to get ready for bed like usual if it ended before Tom got back? The man had never been gone so late before. Shadow didn’t like it.
Then, just like that, the movie ended and everyone was standing up and stretching. Maddie followed the usual routine then, telling the aliens they needed to brush their teeth and get ready for bed. It felt wrong. Tom wasn’t there, cracking ridiculous jokes or keeping Sonic and Knuckles focused on getting their teeth brushed rather than competing. Maddie was, but it wasn’t the same. Her stern looks were enough to curtail any shenanigans and she did joke, but it wasn’t right. Half-hearted at best without Tom.
Shadow scowled as he brushed his own teeth, harder than usual. This was wrong.
Once finished, he trailed after the others up to the attic bedroom. Maddie points to the skylight. “Tails, would you close and lock the window please? Its supposed to get pretty cold tonight and probably rain,”
“Sure!” Tails happily flies up, tails spinning fast like a helicopter rotor, and closes the window and locks it. Then he flies down toward Maddie who catches him with a smile. “Thank you, sweetie,” she says, kissing Tails’ cheek as she turns and tucks the fox into the airplane bed. “Sleep well. Knuckles. Sonic. Into bed boys. You too Shadow.”
Knuckles and Sonic had their shoes off and were settling back into their beds relatively quickly. Shadow deliberately took his time as he walked over to his bed.
“I shall vanquish the hours of sleep, Lady of Pretzels,” Knuckles proudly declared, “And be ready to guard our home in the morning.”
Maddie smiled. “Thank you, Knuckles. Good night.” She dropped a quick kiss on his head. The echidna warrior grunted and laid back in his bed, folding his arms over his stomach and shut his eyes. Maddie moved on to Sonic, who was fussing with the blanket on his bed with unusual agitation.
“Blueberry?”
“I’m okay, Mom,” Sonic reassures. He hums a tune that sounds vaguely familiar gripping Maddie’s hand. “Did Dad…?”
Shadow slips his shoes off and slowly climbs into his bed, pretending not to be listening, stealing a glance as he decides to lay on his side. Better vantage that way to see the room as a whole.
Maddie is smiling, but there are lines around her eyes Shadow didn’t remember noticing before. She hums the same melody. “Yes. He’s fine and will be home soon.”
Tension leaked out of his blue counterpart as he sags into the pillow. “You okay?”
Maddie pulls the blanket up and over Sonic, tucking him in. “I’m fine, baby. Go to sleep.” She kisses his forehead. Sonic hums the tune again as he burrows in. “Night Mom.”
The woman then turns to Shadow next. She fixes his blanket, tucking him in snuggly. He makes sure not to squirm. “Good night, Shadow.”
“Good night,” he answers curtly, quickly hiding himself in the blanket and pillow as he turns away. He is not a kid who needs to be tucked in. Honestly, it’s ridiculous that the other three enjoyed being put to bed like this. Weren’t they far too old for it? He was. He certainly didn’t need to lay there and wait for something that would never come. He was the Ultimate Lifeform after all. This was beneath him. The professor had told him that he was too old for such things several times.
Maddie left the attic as the aliens chorused goodnights aloud to her and each other. Shadow didn’t respond this time. Silence fell except for the other aliens’ breathing as they settled down. Shadow remained awake, listening for sounds outside the house. He hears the usual night sounds of the forest outside that have become familiar: crickets, owls, and small mammals foraging for their meals. A light breeze making the trees creak and rustle.
But there’s no rumbling truck engine approaching.
Where was Tom? Maddie said he would be home soon. Soon was annoying. At the base, times were exact and routine. Soon was unprecise and just meant waiting and wondering.
Swallowing a growl, Shadow rolls over. Sonic’s ears twitched, but other than that the blue hedgehog only snuffles, muttering in his sleep. Knuckles hummed in his sleep on the other side of Sonic and Tails, making Shadow freeze. The last thing he needed was the wake the echidna by tossing and turning, especially when they’d not been in bed long. Shadow had found out the hard way that Knuckles was not quiet once woken and he had no problem lecturing Shadow like he did Sonic. As if he was as silly as that blue idiot! But there’s no chance of Shadow falling asleep now and just staring at the clock is not helping either. His eyes flicker around for something, anything else to focus on that he had not stared at for hours before in the past week. No luck. Instead, his attention darts to the nightstand in-between his and Sonic’s bed. The teddy bear lies on its side where Shadow shoved it to get it out of the way as he got ready for bed.
Ugh. Shadow flopped onto his back in frustration. Should he try to open the upper window? Maddie had asked Tails to latch it since it was supposed to get quite cold tonight. The fox cheerfully agreed, using his twin tails to fly like a helicopter up to the window to latch it before climbing into his airplane bed. Meaning Shadow would have to put on his airshoes to get up there to unlock it and push it open. Which would risk waking Knuckles and Sonic.
Shadow turned and buried his muzzle in the pillow to smother a growl of frustration. Why couldn’t his chaos energy come back already? Then he could teleport up there onto the roof so he could watch the road for approaching vehicles. He should have re-opened the latch after Tails closed it so he could get out while he still had his shoes on. That way he could quietly crawl and jump up and sneak out the window without disturbing anyone like last night. Now he was stuck in this attic with nothing but his thoughts because he’d already studied every other detail, from the number of knots in the wood panels to the dents in the road signs on the walls or that dumb red cowboy hat. He tried to peer up through the skylight to the stars. But he wasn’t at the right angle down here to see past the tree tops and clouds blocked what little he could see.
He wanted to roll over again. He glanced towards Sonic once more. For the moment he appeared to be sleeping soundly. Idiot. His attention drifted from the blue hedgehog to the bear on the nightstand. Making as little noise as possible, Shadow grips a fuzzy leg and pulls the floppy, fluffy thing over to look at more closely.
The bear’s fur is soft and fluffy. The color of the caramel sauce Maria loved to have with ice cream. It has faux brown eyes. They don’t have the knowing look that Tinyclaw’s did. The earthy brown is less intimidating, softer. The star patches aren’t just plain blue either. Up close, Shadow notices that there is a swirling pattern of darker blue pressed over the primary cornflower blue. The swirls seem to resemble leaves. His nose twitches, catching a scent familiar and calming. Lavender.
Shadow loses track of time as he continues his careful study of the teddy bear.
At long last a motor broke the silence outside, drawing closer and finally pulling up the house. The clock on the wall read 1:12am.
Shadow holds his breath as the motor cuts off. A truck door opens and shuts. Heavy steps on the gravel and then up the porch. The key unlocked the door. A soft creak open and then shut with a click. Tom was inside.
There were no steps coming up to the second floor. Instead, Shadow thinks he hears movement in the kitchen.
Why was Tom home so late? What happened?
Was it even Tom?
Maybe…maybe he should check on the man. Make sure it was really Tom and not an intruder. That might require talking to him, though. Shadow rubs his fingers over the edges of the star on the teddy’s stomach. Talking with Tom now, while everyone else was asleep, might be easier. Without any of the others breathing down his back, particularly an annoying blue hedgehog, he might actually be able to ask his questions without hinderance. Yes, Shadow likes the idea. He had promised to after all. Take that Sonic! And if it wasn’t Tom, he could take out the intruder before they could cause any harm.
Shadow slinks from his bed, taking extra care to be quiet. Cursing for the umpteenth time and wishing yet again he had the energy to teleport! According to Tails he should have replenished his energy stores by the end of the week at least. Apparently, none of the aliens had realized they could deplete their chaos energy quite so much; or store as much. And since his chaos energy had been healing him too, that left little available to teleport. So that meant sneaking. At least without his shoes on, he could do it quite well. The harder part was balancing without the weight of his air shoes. His balance always seemed off without them.
The black hedgehog carefully eases the attic steps open and creeps down to the landing. Pausing, he listens. He could hear Maddie snoring in the master bedroom and Ozzie snoring. Making sure not to disturb either of them, Shadow tiptoes down the main stairs, making sure to skip the two steps that creaked. At the bottom of the stairs, he hesitates before cautiously peeking around the corner into the dining room and kitchen to see who was in there.
A familiar figure stood at the kitchen island, illuminated by the small nightlights. Oddly, the man was not in his uniform like he’d been when he left. Instead, he was dressed in more casual clothes that were wrinkled and smelled stale. Tom’s shoulders were slumped, his gaze distant as he chewed a bite of what appeared to be a sandwich. Shadow remembered seeing Maddie make it while Sonic and Tails helped wash and dry the dishes from dinner.
Shadow considered the man, a pool of unease growing in his gut. This was a mistake. He couldn’t talk to Tom. How could he? For one he wasn’t in bed where he was supposed to be with the other aliens. For another, all his questions seemed to have left his mind, leaving it alarmingly blank. Something soft squishes against his chest and Shadow looks down. How did the teddy bear get there? Did he really bring her with him? Stupid. He’s going back upstairs to bed, he decides.
With a quick turn, Shadow starts back to the attic. Only, in his haste, Shadow bumped against a side table and it gave an audible thump against the wall.
Tom startles, whipping toward the doorway. “Shadow?”
Shadow automatically tenses, waiting for a scolding and frown. The scientists and soldiers were always upset with him when he wasn’t where he was supposed to be—usually he’d escaped to be with Maria in her fort.
“What are you doing up, kiddo?”
Shadow’s ears lift a little. Tom didn’t sound mad. And he wasn’t scowling either. Cautiously, Shadow steps further into room. No point in hiding after getting caught.
“You…weren’t home.”
Tom blinks, and this time he does frown. Whether from Shadow actually answering him or the unspoken question in his response, the hedgehog isn’t sure. But it’s not an angry frown like the Professor would give him for asking foolish questions. Still, Shadow waits for the dismissal, the reprimand that is sure to come before he can retreat back upstairs to the attic
“Yeah, I had to take care of a work call.”
“But that was hours ago.” Shadow immediately bites the inside of his lip after the words slip out, berating himself. Why did he say that? He knew better than to question handlers!
“It comes with the job.”
Shadow’s ears perk. Tom sets his sandwich down, facing Shadow fully. “As the sheriff, I take care of the town. Here in Green Hills, that’s mostly just helping people sort out disputes, helping them get their car started or giving out tickets for speeding or shoplifting. Rounding up goats sneaking into someone’s garden or jumpstarting cars or cleaning out gutters. Stuff like that. But sometimes there are incidents that aren’t so easy to resolve like tonight.”
“And you had to ride out late,” Shadow says slowly, trying to understand. Because Tom had been serious when he finished the phone call earlier. “Was there a shootout?”
Shadow didn’t smell any gunpowder on the sheriff. There was something else though—
“No shoot outs,” Tom reassures him. “My job isn’t to fight people, Shadow, even if the movies make it seem that way. Reality is, most of my job is talking. Reminding people to follow the law for the safety of everyone and writing tickets when they don’t. Arresting them to uphold justice when necessary. And sometimes stopping fights before they happen or deescalating them. That’s what happened tonight. We had to deescalate a rough situation.”
“Do they always keep you so late?”
The man shook his head. “Sometimes, but not usually. Tonight, the situation just took longer to process than normal. Half of it I spent filling out paperwork at the station.”
Shadow hums, studying the man.
Tom wasn’t sharing exactly what happened, but Shadow was certain he was telling the truth too. Someone once spoke in a similar manner to Maria and him. Because they were kids, that man had said. Shadow shuts the thought down. No, he refuses to think about that man—or even the ties to Tom that Shadow had unwittingly tied to him. Besides, Shadow recognizes that smell now. Alcohol. He could guess from there at least what had caused the situation to be so rough. The Spanish soap operas he had seen gave him a least an idea of what may have occurred. Though in the soap opera the police were never of any help.
Instead, he asks, “Isn’t deescalating the same as fighting?”
Tom’s turn to huff and smile ruefully. “I suppose. Depends on the situation. Usually, it’s trying to stop people from hurting others or themselves and doing it in as non-lethal a manner as possible. Sometimes that isn’t an option. Tonight wasn’t one of those. Thank God. It was just ugly.”
“Oh. Like when Sonic and the others came to stop me.”
We don’t want to fight you. Looking back, Shadow supposed he could recognize that. Sonic had those handcuffs after all, which were standard for sheriffs. Coming from a GUN helicopter though, Shadow had seen no reason to believe Sonic was not working for GUN to capture him again. And Knuckles had been eager to fight, charging when Shadow turned to leave despite Sonic’s protest. No, it did not occur to him that Sonic wanted to stop him from possibly hurting anyone in Tokyo. He just wanted to get away and be left alone anyway.
“What? No—” Tom stops, blowing out a short breath. “I guess, uh, there are some similarities. When GUN came to ask for the boys’ help, they just said there was a threat in Tokyo. Rockwell didn’t explain what the threat was, just that there was one.” Tom frowned. “We knew better than to trust them after what happened with Rachel’s cat-fish wedding. But after Sonic stopped Eggman from conquering the world last time, it seemed they were backing off. Maintaining a truce of sorts would also mean they’d leave us alone.”
Shadow sneered. “GUN would never agree to that. He has too much power. They all do.”
Almost as much as Shadow did and they’d certainly never planned to let him go. Another one just like him? No way. It was why Shadow had believed Sonic and the other two were with GUN so easily. Honestly it was surprising GUN had not showed up on the Wachowskis’ doorstep and just taken them from the start. Though from what Sonic shared, they had actually sent the professor’s grandson, Ivo, after Sonic when they became aware of his presence on Earth and that had caused quite the commotion.
“Yeah, well, we know that now,” Tom groused, glaring at his sandwich for a moment. Then he looks back at Shadow. “When we first learned about GUN, we were told it came about in response to Sonic’s and Robotnik’s fight in San Francisco and across the world as a way to monitor the ‘alien threat’. Obviously, we were lied to, but we had no way of knowing that at the time.”
Shadow scowled and snorted. Figured that GUN would be so deceitful.
“I guess my point is there is some similarity. More than I care for. But to me, my job, it’s about taking care of the town—the people I love. Making sure people are safe so they can live their lives. You boys aren’t a threat to that. You have powers and abilities sure, but it’s your choice what you do with them. Living in fear of what you could do, well, that’s how GUN’s commanders justify themselves.”
What? Shadow gapes at the man. Not a threat? He couldn’t be serious.
“Idiot!” Shadow spits, taking a furious step forward, quills bristling. “How can you say that? I attacked you! I tried to kill you!”
Orange gold chaos energy raced over his quills as he glares at Tom, baring his teeth. Eyes glowing. Just like a monster. Let the human see and be afraid just like everyone else.
Except Tom Wachowski did not flinch. He steps closer and kneels down instead to be closer to eye level with Shadow, far closer than any human ever dared when he was sparking before. The hedgehog’s breath stutters as his eyes lock with Tom’s blue ones. So much like her’s. What was that expression on Tom’s face? Not fear or disgust or unease. Shadow can’t name it.
“Yes, you did.”
Shadow cannot help cringing. He forces his shoulders to remain straight, not curl in. To face the consequences head on even as the ugly, cold feeling slithered around his insides in a vice. Here it was. Finally, Tom would—
“And I’ll tell you again: I forgive you.”
Forgive—?! No, this must be a trick. Yes, Tom told him the same thing days ago, but there was no reason to forgive a monster like him for nearly killing him; for nearly killings his children and destroying the world. How could this man be so stupid?
Tom, however, is still talking. “But I didn’t get to say that I’m sorry too.”
What was it about this man throwing Shadow off balance? The golden energy dissipates completely as Shadow stares, speechless.
“I’m sorry humans have hurt you so much; that their greed and fear took your friend, Maria, away.”
Shadow’s breath hitches, heart hammering against his ribs as fast as when he runs, yet he couldn’t move at all.
“You were lashing out because of how you hurt. I understand that. And my disguise made me look like the man you blamed. That doesn’t make any of it right. What they did to you was wrong. What you did was wrong too. But you stopped and you worked with Sonic to fix your mistakes. So, can you be a threat? Yes. But so can I. I can use the power of my office of sheriff to do things I shouldn’t, just like GUN has instead of using it for justice. It’s what you do with power that matters. And from what I’ve seen, you don’t want to be a threat. You’re just trying to learn how to live.”
Shadow couldn’t hold the man’s gaze anymore. Too much. It was too much! He looks down at the floor, trying to calm his breathing. Only to see a fluffy head with a stitched blue star. There was a tiny dark spot on her head, round, perfect that was not there before. Then another appears beside it, making the tiniest splash. Where did those come from?
His hands are shaking. He wills them to stop. He fails. More water drops appear on the bear’s head, becoming a big patch of its own, but not as nice as the blue star.
“But—” Shadow croaks, throat thick. He swallows hard and his voice squeaks plaintively, “But why? I haven’t—I didn’t apologize.”
He’d told Sonic the whole mess was his fault on the moon and Sonic had not blamed him or excused him. Instead, Sonic told Shadow there was always a choice to fix his mistakes, and they could do it together since Sonic messed up too. Even after Sonic found him and brought him back to this house, he’d been only able to whisper his apology to Sonic alone when the blue hedgehog was helping him calm down from a nightmare. But he’d never even attempted to say sorry to Tom.
“It is important to apologize when you do something wrong. And I will accept your apology, if you wish to give it. But forgiveness is not necessarily dependent on an apology. Do you know why?”
Shadow’s stomach twists and hollows. The wet patch on the bear’s head is growing darker. He shakes his head slowly.
“Because forgiveness is a gift, Shadow. It cannot erase or change what happened. It doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences. But I can choose whether or not I let the hurt define me with or without you apologizing. I’m choosing to let it go. To give you another chance. I can tell you regret what you did. That you’re afraid of yourself. But Shadow, you’re just a kid. Making mistakes is part of growing up. And in the case of superpowered hedgehogs, those mistakes tend to be bigger than average. Part of the superpower package I guess.” A wry smile turned up the corner of Tom’s mouth at that last bit.
“And if I wasn’t sorry? Would you forgive me then?” Shadow demands, baring his fangs in a half-hearted snarl, trying to distract from how incredibly exposed he feels in that moment.
Tom considers. “I’d like to think so, yes. It might have taken longer that’s all. Like I said, forgiveness is a gift. I can give it whether or not you accept it, or even want it. I can still offer it.”
Shadow cannot respond, ears folding flat back against his head, mind churning as he tried to make sense of the man’s words. His breath hitches and his vision blurs. Did Tom really mean it?
The man’s expression is completely sincere. Did that mean, if he—?
“Are you sorry?” Tom prompts gently.
“Yes,” Shadow chokes in a whisper. His muzzle was wet. Tears. He’s crying. Shadow’s hands shake worse as the tears come faster and he squeezes the teddy bear tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you…and Sonic and—and the others. I was—” Angry. Hurting so bad he didn’t know what to do.
And he was sorry, so very sorry. You can be anything that you want. And he’d stupidly chosen to act like a monster instead of the friend Maria called him. The monster he’d been afraid he was. He couldn’t quite be sorry for taking down the soldiers who’d been guarding him on the island prison where he’d been kept. But he was for everything else.
“I forgive you, Shadow.”
A warm hand pets the fur atop of his head between his ears, making him freeze. But the contact is brief, light and warm. And then it’s gone. Shadow wishes it would come back. He sniffs, willing the tears to stop. Tears were a sign of weakness. The professor had yelled at him many times during the toughest of the experiments, telling him to suck it up and quit bellyaching like a child. Didn’t he know everything they were doing was for the good of the planet?
But Tom doesn’t scold him. He doesn’t turn away in disgust. Instead, he just waits patiently for Shadow to stop crying. Just there, face soft and accepting.
Eventually, Shadow gets the tears under control. Tom pulls a tissue from his pocket and hands it to him. Muzzle warming, Shadow cleans his eyes and nose and hands it back to Tom. The man stands and throws it away. Then pulls a glass from a cupboard and fills it with water at the sink. He hands it to Shadow. Not quite believing everything that just happened, Shadow accepts the glass and drinks automatically. The cool water eases the itching in his throat and calms his nerves. Tom takes the glass back and puts it in the sink before returning to the kitchen island to finish his sandwich. Giving Shadow a chance to catch his breath a little.
“Sooo, what has you up at one thirty in the morning?”
The awkward but casual question throws Shadow for a moment. His eyes are scratchy now and he isn’t sure his voice will work even after having a drink. What can he say anyway? Finely, he settles on a move he’s seen Sonic and Tails use numerous times: shrugging his shoulders. It isn’t not a good answer. The professor would have scolded him fiercely. Tom isn’t the professor.
Tom chuckles. “Fair enough. I see you found your bear. Do you like it?”
There is a bit of hesitance in the question. Shadow glances down at the teddy bear in his arms, at the large wet spots now all over her head including on the carefully stitched blue star patch.
“Yes” Shadow admits softly. He likes her very much.
Tom sighs as if relieved, as if it mattered what Shadow thought. “Good. Have you thought of a name?”
“Stella.” The name tumbles out before he can stop himself. He winces, expecting a scoff or patronizing comment.
“Stella.” Tom grins. “I like it. Very fitting.”
Somehow the vice in his chest eases and the pain isn’t so piercing. He had not realized how much it was hurting until it unclamped inside. Tom picks up his sandwich again, leaving them in thoughtful silence as he finishes his dinner. Shadow watches, still holding Stella tight to his chest. The scent of lavender tickling his nose, soothing the tension from his muscles. Not all though.
Did you ask Tom about the bear?
Shadow frowned as Sonic’s voice echoed in his head. Did it count if it was Tom asking him? Somehow, Shadow rather doubted Sonic would accept that. Stupid pest. And Sonic would be right. Tom’s questions didn’t answer Shadow’s: why give him a teddy bear in the first place? One that Tom took the time to fix specifically for him just like the others?
He needs to ask. No more delaying. Tom was willing to talk. Shadow needs to take advantage of that.
Shadow shifts a little, trying to find the words to start when a wave of exhaustion slams into him. He stifles a sudden yawn. When did he get so tired? He’d been wide awake a moment ago. No, it didn’t matter. He needs to say what he meant to say. No more stalling or getting distracted by talks about police work or forgiveness. He opens his mouth, only to wind up fighting off another yawn, bigger than the first.
Tom laughs softly, throwing away his trash, before heading toward Shadow.
“Right, let’s get you back to bed, kiddo. You need sleep and so do I.”
To Shadow’s astonishment, Tom holds out his hand to him as he comes beside him. A thread of connection offered so freely yet again just like Shadow’s seen with Sonic and Tails and Knuckles. All the times before, Shadow ignored or batted it away. But Sonic had been right. All Shadow had to do was actually talk to Tom. He had not gotten mad at Shadow for not being upstairs like he was supposed to or that he had questions. He’d spoken with honesty and offered kindness and understanding, just like Sonic did.
A whiff of lavender and salt water fills his nose again. He glanced down at Stella. A gift from this man just for Shadow. To offer comfort, according to Sonic, like Tinyclaw and Mrs. Mossfern and Tusk did.
Shadow reaches up and catches Tom’s fingers as they start to lower back to his side. Heat races from his muzzle to his ears and he almost pulls away, but Tom’s hand curls around his paw, offering an encouraging squeeze. The man’s hand was large compared to Maria’s or Sonic’s. Calloused and strong. But the warmth that filled Shadow’s paw traveled his arm to his chest was the same. He didn’t look up at Tom, couldn’t see what expression was on his face. Instead, he turns towards the stairs more than ready to curl up in his bed.
Silently, the pair make their way up. Tom matching his stride to Shadow’s. It made Shadow feel small and ridiculous and at the same time he appreciates that the human wasn’t walking ahead or dragging him along. They were side by side. Until the attic stairs, which were too narrow for two people to walk up at the same time. Shadow glares at them though he cannot understand why he is upset with them.
Tom lightly tugs Shadow forward to walk ahead of him as they ascend. But the man is still holding Shadow’s hand as they walk up. Honestly it was a ridiculous and unnecessary thing—Shadow is perfectly capable of climbing the stairs alone.
He didn’t let go.
Once in the attic, they tiptoe toward Shadow’s bed to avoid disturbing the other three occupants. Shadow finally releases Tom’s hand to carefully climb into his rocket ship bed. He adjusts his grip on Stella as he crawls up, keeping her close as he rests his head on the pillow. Another yawn overtakes him, leaving his eyelids drooping.
Tom pulls the blanket up, lightly tucking him in. It oddly feels nice.
Again, Shadow tries to ask: Why did you give me this bear? Why do you care? Why are you helping me at all?
The words do not come. Other’s ring in his mind instead.
Forgiveness is a gift.
It cannot erase or change what happened. It doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences.
But I can choose whether or not I let the hurt define me with or without you apologizing.
I’m choosing to let it go. To give you another chance.
I forgive you, Shadow.
“Good night, Shadow,” Tom murmurs. He kisses Shadow’s forehead and strokes the fur atop of his forehead around his ear before turning away.
The little hedgehog freezes, breath catching. Did Tom just…did he really? Shadow wasn’t one of his kids. Why would he…?
But Tom is checking on the others, fixing Sonic’s blanket and tucking Mrs. Mossfern back into Tail’s arms and smiling as Knuckles snores on. Then the man quietly descends the steps and shuts the door without noticing Shadow staring after him.
Finally, Shadow lifts Stella up so he could see her better. She looked back at him, all innocence in her brown glass eyes and pink stitched smile. The wetness of her head reminding Shadow of Tom’s words.
“Stupid human!” Shadow whispers to her in a huff. He rolls over, pulling the teddy bear close to his chest again as he shut his eyes. She fit perfectly there, soft and warm. For some reason, something seems to settle inside him.
You’re just trying to learn how to live.
No, Tom Wachowski was not like the other men Shadow had known. He was like Sonic: completely unique and strange.
Like Maria.
A last of the weight that he didn’t even know was crushing him somehow lifted for the first time, letting him breath and close his eyes without fear. Because Tom might not make sense, but Shadow was warm and comfortable like he couldn’t remember being in so long. Safe. The edges of his mouth unknowingly tilt up as he drifts off to sleep.
The light shines even though the star is gone.
Maria would have liked the Wachowskis.
Its Shadow who is unaware this time, as a green eye cracks open, peeking over at him and a small proud smile stretching a peach muscle. “Good night, Shads.”