Chapter Text
Richard Tozier was a child of many words, so his friends say. But when he found himself at the lunch table listening to his favorite people talking about spending the summer together, having fun and jumping into the quarry and such, he couldn’t bring himself to confess that he wouldn’t be able to be there this time.
Richie never usually talks about his family life with the losers, so of course it would come off too abrupt if he were to just interrupt their conversation to say, “oh yeah, actually i have to spend the summer with my lame cousin Michael in Indiana", especially knowing he’s never even previously mentioned having a cousin in Indiana in the first place. Even if he said it with his typical humorous voice, he knows he’d mess up the mood.
His mother Maggie thinks that it would be good for him to be able to spend time with more of his family that he doesn’t see very often. Richie just took that as her wanting him out of her hair for once. He does tend to be quite bothersome. Of course, he did try to convince his parents otherwise, bargaining with Wentworth as much as he could. That didn’t do much though, as even he was convinced that Richie would benefit from some ‘family time’.
Therefore, Richie was being forced to spend his summer over 1,146 miles away from home with the side of his family he doesn’t even talk to instead of spending the summer in the arcade with his friends. He’s staying with the Wheelers, from his mom’s side of the family. Great.
His lunch sat untouched on the table as he was lost in thought. At this point, everyone else is almost done with their food even though they were busy talking the whole time about the upcoming week. So, someone was bound to notice something was on his mind. Beverly had been sitting next to him, talking enthusiastically to Mike across the table. And when their conversation about going to see movies over the summer died down, she had turned to Richie. She had been noticing how spaced out he was this whole time. Normally he’d be cracking jokes about Eddie’s mom the entire time.
“Hey dude, are you alright?” Beverly spoke with a smile. She was quiet enough to where it didn’t draw attention from the others locked in their own conversations, but not quiet in a way that would make it awkward, acting overly worried or something.
“Huh? Yeah, I'm good Bev, what’s up?” Richie responded, finally taking another bite of his sandwich. Obviously he tried to brush it off, so his tone was bright as always. However, usually he’d respond with something more playful than just ‘oh yeah im good’. So even as he tried, he was still acting off.
“...you sure?” the ginger responded in such a way that told him to spill it. She doesn’t like to pry, because she knows the losers all have their own personal issues they don’t particularly want to talk about at the lunch table over PB&Js. Though at the same time, she could tell something was eating away at him, and she didn’t like to see the normally upbeat trashmouth like that.
It took a moment. But Richie eventually responded.
“...I’m not gonna be here this summer”
“Huh? Why the hell not?”
Only that second voice wasn’t from Beverly. It was Eddie Kaspbrak, across the table. Apparently in his efforts to sound casual and not like he was gonna rip his skin off, he had accidentally projected his voice a bit too much. Either that or all their conversations had died down and he had just failed to notice over the general loud atmosphere of the cafeteria. So the pressure of getting it out was over. Only now, he had 6 pairs of eyes staring at him like he had said he was moving away to Russia for the rest of his life.
“...I have to go to Indiana this summer” Richie followed up after a moment of staring back at all those eyes. Now again, Richie doesn’t think he’s ever mentioned anything about having family in Indiana. So of course it was abrupt, and of course everyone was confused.
He was met with multiple voices, asking why's, when's and how’s. He took a moment for their questions to fizzle out before he responded, that way they could all hear at once and he wouldn’t have to go through repeating himself.
“My parents want me to stay there with my aunt and cousins for the summer for some ‘family time’ or some shit.”
“... well is it the whole summer or just a couple weeks?” Stan spoke up first.
“The whole damn thing.” Richie followed up, obviously irritated by the thought.
See, if it was just a week or two, Richie would still be bothered, but nowhere near as much as he is now. And he wouldn't have made it a whole scene at the lunch table either when they only have like 5 minutes left of lunch (though that part wasn’t exactly on purpose). For the rest of their limited time, the losers had all been partly talking over each other, attempting to ask details about the situation. Richie hadn’t responded to much. He was too busy thinking about how he would have no one to talk to the whole entire summer. He wouldn’t have the losers. He wouldn’t have Eddie. It’s not like Richie was planning on confessing anything to him. He knows he doesn’t have the guts to. But at the very least, he enjoys talking to him, and even just looking at him quietly as he talks to one of the other losers. God, that makes him sound so lame. But he was only now realizing how much he’d miss it, even if it is dumb.
He’s only gonna have his cousins to talk to. It's not like he’s actively planning on going outside of that house to make friends in some random state. He’d barely be able to talk to them if he did, so there’s no real point. And just to top it off, his actual friends in Derry are barely home. Almost all of them have shitty parents who want nothing to do with them (or in some cases– too much to do with them). It’s not like any of his friends would be sitting by the phone waiting for a call from him to talk about god knows what. They’d be at the quarry playing chicken and splashing around while Richie sits on some dingy couch in the basement or something. So obviously he’s pissed. But he doesn't talk about his feelings and shit with the losers, even if he loves them. He’s so screwed.
The losers spent the rest of the few days they had trying to think of something sweet for Richie before he leaves, and trying to put something together. Beverly was the one who noticed how out of it Richie had been before he admitted to leaving for the summer, so she was adamant on wanting to give him something to take there with him. It’s cheesy, he’ll only be gone for like 2 months, but Beverly Marsh is surprisingly sentimental. She knows he’ll be lonely. It’s not like he was upbeat when he mentioned his cousins, and she knows he never talks about them. Obviously they aren't close. Obviously Richie isn't going to be having much fun. She doesn’t like that. She’s in the dark about his family life, as most of them are, so she’s admittedly assuming the worst, considering how her and the rest of the losers families are like.
They all want Richie to have a good summer too, even if he’s away.
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They had all been hanging out in their little secret base, only days before Richie was set to leave. The atmosphere was alive and happy with laughter and faint music playing from their radio. Richie isn’t quite the type to make these kinds of instances a big deal. It would be a different story if he were moving forever, but he isn’t. So none of them really talked about it much, just hanging out like they regularly do to make everything feel more normal. That was until a certain boy spoke up.
“Hey rich, what’re your cousins even like?” Eddie said. Casually enough to make it sound like an average topic. But Richie doesn’t really talk about family, so obviously Eddie was thinking about Richie not being there for the summer.
“Lame. There’s three, Mike, Nancy, and Holly. Mike’s only ever playing some stupid game with his friends, and I don’t really talk to Holly and Nancy" He spoke, strangely thoughtful about the subject. Of course, Holly was too young to be any interesting to him. Nancy was nice, but not really his type of person to hang out with. Mike doesn’t like him, and he doesn’t really like Mike either. The thing was, him bringing up the game that Mike plays with his friends made him think specifically about Mike's friends. He doesn’t remember much, since they rarely ever see each other, but he knows they’re pretty nice from what he remembers. Maybe they’ll be more fun to hang around. But it would be a little strange to hang out with your cousin’s friends without said cousin.
“I hope Mike knows some hot chicks. I doubt it though, he’s lame as shit” He followed up after a moment. And because of how thoughtful he seemed, it was amusing to the others.
“So what, are you just gonna try to find a girlfriend for the summer?” Stanley Uris responded, sarcastic as always when it comes to Richie. It would be kinda dumb though. If Richie actually did manage to find a girlfriend (which we all know won’t be the case…), they’d barely be able to talk, and they’d only be able to hang out for what, like 2 months?
“Stan, if I found a chick to bang over the summer, coming back would be the least of my concerns” The trashmouth spoke, gaining back his more playful attitude. He wouldn’t actually leave them for some girl. Especially not a hypothetical girl that he wouldn’t even be interested in in the first place.
“Oh shut up Richie” was the response. A very common phrase.
After more time of hanging out and fighting over who gets to lay in the hammock, Beverly walked up to Richie with a confident yet somehow nervous stride. She handed him something that he couldn’t make out right away through the dim lights they had on in the hideout. But it was a group of envelopes tied together with a little bow. The top envelope read in pretty handwriting, ‘From Bev’.
“What’s this, divorce papers?” He joked upon making out what he had in his hands. He’s obviously being playful, but he also sounded genuinely confused on receiving them. Not often does he find himself being silently handed a group of envelopes. Especially not with how Beverly was behaving. There was something kind of awkward in the way she stood there in front of the hammock (cause of course Richie was one of the people arguing over getting to sit there… Eddie was on the other side, watching the interaction. Typical).
“It’s letters from all of us. Y’know, for when you’re gone” The redhead spoke. It was overly sentimental considering Richie won’t even be away for that long. But the summer is a big deal to them, and they all love having Richie around, whether they show it or not.
Richie hummed and began to undo the string tying all of the envelopes together. He looked at each one for a good moment, eyeing the names and handwriting on the front of them addressed to him. When he started inspecting one a little too intensely, Eddie spoke up from the other side of the hammock, lightly kicking Richie with his foot (which earned a groan and an insult from the kid).
“Well don’t open them now dipshit! they’re for when you’re actually gone.”
And that little interaction, in addition to Beverly’s little laugh, told Richie that those letters were gonna be sappy as all hell. Well, compared to the people writing them. There’s probably a good number of playful insults thrown in those words too. They are for Richie, after all.
“Oh so when I miss you Eds?” Richie teased, jokingly getting a little touchy with Eddie's foot, just to gross him out.
“Oh, you’re disgusting! Do you even know how gross that is? Who goes around touching people's feet!?” Eddie responded, kicking Richie’s hand away with a scowl. To which the other laughed. It’s also worth noting that Eddie had avoided the question directed at him, whether it was a joke or not. Cause they are for when he misses them. For when Richie gets lonely. But none of them were really gonna say that out loud, it was obvious enough on its own. Well, Mike, Ben, and Beverly would probably openly say that to him. Maybe Bill too. Maybe Eddie just didn’t want to admit it because of the contents of the letter he wrote. Who knows, really.
“What, does Eddie not wash his own feet?”
“Of course I do, you weirdo!”
“Well he’s not really acting like it, is he?” Richie responded, kicking his feet into Eddie’s personal space. Beverly was still nearby, only now she’s taken a seat close to them. She was amused by their banter, no matter how often she hears it from them. She’s not really the type to ask them to shut up, she either keeps conversation elsewhere, or listens in with a little smile. Richie likes when she listens. It makes it feel like his jokes are landing. But even when no one’s listening, he enjoys teasing Eddie. Just to see how his face lights up with anger, and how he swiftly stutters out his insults like it’s second nature, almost the same way Richie does. No matter how many times Eddie insults him, it’s never actually mean either. To some people it may seem like it. But they never actually insult each other on sore topics. Richie jokes about Eddie’s mom, but never really about her actual behavior towards Eddie. And in that same way, Eddie (and all the other losers for that matter) never jokes about Richie being queer. That’s what he’s made fun of for, and they all know it. None of them know if he even is or not, but they wouldn’t even ask because of the nature of the subject. Not like any of them would care (regardless of if Richie thinks they would or not).
This would be their last hangout as a group before Richie leaves, and more towards the end of the gathering that became more apparent because of how soft they all got with him. Of course Richie only responded in teases, but some of them held truth to them. Like when Richie spoke to Mike and said something along the lines of, ‘oh, when I see my lame ass cousin everyday, i’ll just pretend it’s you’. Which was said very playfully, because Mike and Richie’s cousin have the same name. And while he won’t look at Mike Wheeler and see his Mike, looking at his cousin will make him miss the cooler Mike even more.
He kind of feels a similar way about the other losers too. Though not because of names being shared. He just knows he’ll be constantly reminded of them the whole time, probably even by dumb things. Like if someone took a long time to say something, he may think, ‘Bill would've taken even longer to say that’. Part of it seems kind of embarrassing. He’d feel so lame if all he thinks about the whole time is how his friends are doing multiple states away. God forbid he sees a ginger and thinks of Beverly. Or a kid having an asthma attack and thinks of Eddie. Really though, he does love all of them. That’s why the next morning, freshly woken up, all he could think about was what their hangouts would be without him. What if they get used to the trashmouth being gone and actually come to prefer it over when he’s there? What if by the time Richie’s set to return, they’re dreading his arrival because they actually found him too annoying to bear? What if whenever they hang out they just talk about how happy they are that Richie isn’t there? What if inside of all of those letters are just words trying to subtly convince him not to come back and to stay in Indiana for the rest of his life? Like, ‘oh, I hope you’re having so much fun there with your new friends. They’d probably be really sad if you left them…’ (even though Richie is almost positive there won’t be any real ‘new friends’).
The voice of his mother cut through his painfully pathetic train of thought, reminding him to double check that he’s packed everything. The fact that his parents aren’t coming with him kind of only makes it worse. I mean, they’ll be there for a little bit because they have to drive him there and then go back after a bit. But Richie knows that if it were possible they’d drop him off and go right back home in a single night. He suspects that they just don’t want him there. Maybe nobody in Derry actually wants him there and they’re all actually tired of him and his stupid jokes that never even make anybody laugh.
He lazily checked his stuff, not actually being meticulous about it like he knew some of his friends would be. He’ll probably get there and realize he left everything important behind, knowing him.
After all that he’s thought about, he isn’t even sure if he’d be excited to come back home after his time in Hawkins is up. But he thinks he’s just being dramatic about all of that. His friends are blunt enough to just say if they don’t want him there, right? Or maybe in the times that his friends have joked about it, they weren’t actually joking. Maybe Eddie was never joking about calling him gross and annoying, either.
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