Chapter Text
It’s quiet the night I decide to leave again, no one floundering while trying to ask for an audience. No letters asking - demanding - I give them a visit. Vampires don’t often stick in family groups after they’re all established but Count Dracula doesn’t want to let go. He would deny it but any parent, vampire or otherwise, would be proud of having two children in positions of power. The first female on the vampire council and the chosen one, grand high vampire, his half-vampire son that chose the dark for his people. If I’d chosen the light I’d have smile lines and possibly started to go grey, it will be years before I begin to look older. Yet my heart beats, slow but ever present as a reminder that I was born to a human. I have a higher tolerance to the sun even without suncream on to let me walk as a breather would, though haven’t done so in years. The house is quiet, the school empty of students until the morning, my father scratching writing into a crossword puzzle as I lean back.
“I’m leaving,” my words are steady, there is no question in my mind that I am feeling quite caged staying. It is home but I can’t keep this tedious schedule until I decide a stake would be more pleasant which currently sounds more appealing by the day. My father hums, flippantly waving his fingers, as I know he thinks it’s something as part of my position. He thinks I am leaving to meet some pompous vampire with too much self importance. I no longer want to be hounded for my thoughts on every small thing and it’s not just in this country, everywhere asks me foolish questions. But I am done. The councils can handle it and if a matter is large enough they can go to my family who can send off the requests. I don’t want everyone to know where I am and use it to keep me chained. “No, I am leaving. Packing and going.”
He hums again, glasses covering his eyes as he freezes, looking up slowly at me. His lips twisting into that thoughtful expression as I stare at him. “And being grand high vampire?” No matter where I go I will remain who I am but we have peace, no slayings or vampires biting in twenty years. New laws put in place to allow vampires to share their identity with humans, usually lovers, close friends, those they couldn’t hypnotise even if they tried. Biting them also is permitted as they can’t be hypnotised, but only if its consensual, all vampires turned had to give permission and also be registered. Sometimes if the two wishing to partake were new acquaintances they had to meet with an official to talk through the decision. The world has changed.
Leaning forward I take the glasses off his nose, he was getting crosseyed looking at me through them after all. “You and Ingrid shall know exactly where I am, when important issues that actually require my opinion pop up, you will send me them. Otherwise Ingrid is to present them to a council. I will also inform Jonno where I am, so the slayers are aware of the country I’m in. I do not wish to be caged here any longer,” twisting the arm of his glasses they twist and I catch a glimpse of my reflection each turn. I often wonder what it must have been like for my father when they stopped making mirrors with silver, how he could see himself for the first time in centuries. But then I remember he prefers the mirrors from before, the only type he keeps anywhere we’ve lived, the school even has them. He doesn’t want to see and who can blame him? The last time he might have seen his reflection in anything he was fifteen. That’s a long time and a huge difference six hundred years later. Will I ever be the same about my reflection?
“And where do you plan to go? Your duties are here,” old habits die hard - if ever, he is not my regent and yet I let him talk that way because I hold affection for him. Unsure if I can say I love my family but I certainly care. Which will always include Magda and Wolfie, they are not blood but one treated me as hers and the other. He is my brother no matter what anyone says, especially considering he is attached to his vampire side of the family even after deciding to remain a werewolf first. He will be crushed when he learns I left but I’ll write to him, tell him he is welcome once I am settled. He’d like that.
I stop twisting his glasses in my hand as I place them on the coffee table, taking my goblet of soy blood and staring at it. Now that’s another reason towards me leaving, I’ve started drinking from goblets. Goblets! “Out. I plan to get out. My duties fall wherever I am but I don’t need to be at every meeting. Doing so is ridiculous. I’m going to live and find my place, do what I want and continue with the important stuff that you will send me. Understood?” He doesn’t say anything but we both sip on our blood, the quiet is acceptance. Especially when the flap of wings enters and Ingrid stands there with her boyfriend, her chosen, the man that looks at her like she hung the moon. She is finally happy again, and she stays because things have changed. Especially shown by how she kisses our dad’s cheek and goes to get herself a goblet of blood. Seriously, goblets? Her boyfriend, nearly husband if I am reading the signs right that he is waiting for her to ask.
We all drink our personal choices, Asam drinks soy blood even, and Ingrid addresses the room. “Finally told him?” And I laugh softly, she crosses her legs over Asam’s as they curl together on the couch. She waits, eyes trained on me like the predator she is, the blood she drinks when she can is freshly hunted animals. Never willing to fully give up the hunt, like most vampires. Animals raised for the hunt are common in rural vampire communities. It’s perfect.
“Yes, he seems to have accepted no one will change my mind. As is the case on most things,” everyone actually laughs at that but it’s goodnatured, it’s not mocking or expecting me to change. I always wanted peace, and they thought my mind would change but it never did. Now there’s peace, basically no chance of being chased out again. Vampires no longer have to live solely in the shadows, many have started working with humans and the suncream for being out during the day has improved since I and Ingrid were young.
It feels wrong to leave but I know I need to actually live instead of being trapped, being hauled around like that’s my job. Perhaps I can go into a field that helps people. “You will be back for the wedding though?” Ingrid asks and I look at her, smiling and truly excited for her. “I know, long time coming. If you don’t show I’ll drag you back by your fangs,” of course she would. My brilliant sister that I feared would never be content is in a place she is truly herself again. Cruel at times but caring, women have power, old vampire traditions have changed to accept all as being capable. She still rages and there is so much from our childhood that wasn’t right, I am proud of her. Of vampires as a whole for being far less sexist and misogynistic. (Some are still trying to cling to the past)
“Yeah, I’ll be there. No dragging me by my fangs necessary. Just make sure to send me an invite and wherever or whatever I’m doing I’ll make sure to be there,” She laughs, and I drink my soy blood, I’m going to miss them.
—
It aches, everything hurts from the moment I leave the hospital with the knowledge that my mentor is dead. But this? It’s a searing pain that encompasses my entire body like someone has set fire to my veins. The metallic taste in my mouth, the ache in my throat as my ears roar. Thrashing from the touch and elbowing something, feeling the thin stab into my leg. It goes blurry, fuzzy around the edges but everything hurts. “He’s been bitten,” I know that voice, trying to look but the lights make my head explode with more pain and the white suits. The hospital, I’m back in the hospital but I don’t know why. “It’s okay, you’ll survive this, brother,” the dark creeps around the edges, until it is everything. The dark took me.
Until I opened my eyes again to too bright lights, trying to raise my hand to cover it but I can’t move my arm. It’s stuck, blinking at it I see the soft restraints. Not remembering how I got here, just the pain, the burning, the fuzzy dark. “Welcome to the club,” it’s Dana, taking off the face cover she’s expected to wear, turning off the lights in the room as I relax with the relief of it, “you’ll learn, it’s a must,” she makes no sense. None of this makes any sense. “You were bitten by a werewolf, Robby. He was put down by the police, everyone who isn’t in the know thinks it was rabies,” werewolf? Is she joking?
I laugh, disbelieving, sore and certain this is a fever dream if not a prank. Something to lighten his mood after ending up in the ED and restrained at that. There is no such thing as werewolves. “You’re joking. There is no such thing,” but with my words she approaches, taking my hand in hers and looking into her eyes I see the serious edge to them. I don’t say a word, what could I say? “Tell me this isn’t real. Tell me that I am just delirious from pain medication,” she doesn’t and squeezes my hand in hers.
“It will be okay. You’ll survive and then we will teach you. A pack never gives up on one of theirs,” she offers me a small smile, reassurance for if I survive. I might not? “The rate of bitten that survive is small, why they are so rare,” another squeeze of my hand and I know she is trying to convince herself I’ll make it. Tears in her eyes but they don’t fall, she lets go of my hand and I watch her return into the ED. To the battlefield that awaits every day. Leaving me to consider what life I may lead now, what does it mean if I survive. Why is it rare?
But thinking is exhausting, everything is drifting and maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if I died. Abbot is likely stood on the edge of the roof with a similar thought. I had never considered the appeal before. Then I notice he is stood beside me, “you have to live, brother. There is no choice, but to accept that the fight is what you always wanted,” what? He is stood by my bed and staring at the restraints like he is seeing something from a time before. He doesn’t look like he is seeing me, especially when he rubs his own wrists. I can’t ask but when I wake up, maybe. Maybe I’ll ask when I don’t feel so exhausted. “Live,” the word comes from his mouth but it doesn’t sound like him, but like someone who is dead. Adamson.
—
Learning a new accent isn’t new but it is far more difficult than I’d originally anticipated when I moved to the United States and decided on a cover. The slayers guild provided the papers, Jonno to be precise as he got it all sorted. I’ll not forget that day anytime soon.
—
The day he gave me the papers it started with him talking about his two daughters while we sat in a cafe, a flat white in his hand as I ordered a sparkling water, pouring some soy blood into it so it had some semblance of flavour. “How old are they now?” I asked as he sighs, smiling at his coffee cup, will I have kids someday? Seems like a horrible idea, I couldn’t raise children and then have them face a reflection that may change them drastically. Won’t even think of turning a human again.
“Eleven and six, they’ve started being curious about my second job. Ella wants to wait until they’re both old enough to understand fully, but I have a feeling Seren is going to find out before we want. Too curious for her own good,” I watch as he sips his coffee and then takes out an envelope, handing it to me. “Take care of yourself, Dennis. You deserve happiness, no matter what you decide to do,” I raise an eyebrow at the name as I look at the name scrawled over the envelope, Dennis Whitaker. So that’s the name he chose for me, fits in a way.
I slip on the accent I’ve been practicing, “and you’ll know how to reach me, friend,” once I never thought I’d ever be friends with a slayer, never mind this particular one after all the attempts on my family’s lives by his father and him. I am glad he is my friend, “I’m going to apply for courses in medicine I think,” and he huffs through his nose at me.
“You are too good for this world sometimes. You haven’t saved enough people already, mate?” And we both laugh together. He is right my choice is fitting and something that won’t surprise his family once they figure it out. They may moan and groan but in the end they will realise it was always something that seemed just like me. Jonno taps his fingers on the table, looking at me, “ever going to forgive yourself for turning her?”
The mood sours as I down my drink, “never, possibly. She never deserved what happened to her,” from the moment I kept her secret of being a breather, I sealed her fate with mine. A twisted reality of nearly being bled dry, being associated with me during the pact’s early days, being thrown off a roof, being turned against her wishes, the hatred that was pinned against her and her eventual death. If I’d let her die, I could have held onto what was before and possibly never tasted human blood. I made her into something she hated, my first love hated me in the end and I knew that was a risk but I was foolish, still too young to understand that sometimes you have to let people go. “Would you forgive me?” The silence speaks volumes as he sips his coffee once again.
“You’re a good guy. Not my place to forgive you but I have forgiven you many times, fought with you, supported you through so many years of this process. My kids call you uncle, they learned a little Romanian from you. You aren’t a monster that needs to repent, if so, you’ve done enough already,” I grip the envelope in my hand as he speaks, “I forgave you for my father, you never meant to cause that harm. You had no control, we were kids. Only a little older than my eldest,” he finishes his coffee, takes my hands in his and squeezes, I feel his heartbeat over my own. The buzz of knowing I am different, that other vampires don’t have this, that their colder blood doesn’t flow from a heartbeat. They can’t blush, can’t hear the roar of their own blood in their ears, they don’t breathe and I technically don’t need to either but I choose to keep breathing. I want to cling to my human side even after choosing to be a vampire.
I take in a deep breath and squeezed his hands in mine. Just listening for a beat, “I appreciate your honesty and your assistance all these years. Tell Seren and Alys, that their nea misses them. Still can’t believe they call me that, one day maybe they’ll stop,” I say this but everyone knows that they’ll continue. Nea is their affectionate way of reminding me that they know a little Romanian, once they used to call me unchi but when Seren learnt that sometimes nea is used instead and that it also can mean snow. She had been so excited when she called me it, saying that I’m also as pale and cold as snow at times. She had hugged me and giggled, since then she hasn’t stopped referring to me as such. Even teaching Alys. They are balls of joy, and so much energy. I’ll miss them.
Letting go of his hands I stand, taking the envelope with me as Jonno gives me a small smile. “I’d like to think I would forgive you, for all that’s worth. You’re a member of my family,” I bite back the tears as I nod, holding his gaze as I do so.
“Thank you, my friend,” leaving the cafe, I decide on setting everything in motion once I got home. To start somewhere new and hopefully getting into school with ease, had decent grades before and Jonno is thorough. So he’ll have matched the grades, likely with better ease than I’d be capable of. Here’s to a number of difficult years that I choose.