Work Text:
I. Ye shall have no other gods before the demiurge.
II. Ye shall not make idols except unto the demiurge.
III. Ye shall not say "fuck," and if ye raise up your children not to say "fuck," ye shall be counted as a successful parent.
IV. Remember Saturn's day.
V. Obey your father and mother even if they abuse you and even when the most holy spirit within you whispers that your path is meant to diverge from their wishes for you.
VI. Ye shall not murder...unless the demiurge tells you to rape and pillage a town he has taken issue with, in which case show no mercy to anyone, including infants and animals.
VII. Ye shall not commit adultery, for ye are wed under the rings of Saturn and it would greatly insult him to break a covenant you made in his name.
VIII. Ye shall not steal...unless the demiurge tells you to rape and pillage a town he has taken issue with, in which case make sure to save some of the virgins and gold for him.
IX. Ye shall not bear false witness to your neighbor, including but not limited to revealing to him that the true God-force in the universe resides within his soul, and will bring him heaven on earth without the need to pray and sacrifice to a vengeful extraterrestrial.
X. Ye shall not covet, for ye are a pathetic wretched clump of dirt imbued with life by the all-seeing demiurge and ye deserve nothing but what scraps he sees fit to toss you.