Chapter Text
The air outside was cold when Hyunjin pushed his front door open, clutching the straps of his tote bag in one hand. With nowhere specific to be, he figured he would go to the campus pool and sketch some swimmers. He did it quite often, and when Jeongin questioned him on it, he simply said it was for studying the male anatomy. His friend never quite seemed to buy the explanation but refused to push further and find out the real reason.
As he walked towards the sports building, he spotted some familiar faces headed towards the door. Well, maybe their bodies were the part Hyunjin was more familiar with, considering he’d been drawing them for at least a few semesters now. He secretly wondered when they would notice him and tell him to fuck off, maybe report him to the faculty for being creepy.
When he stepped inside, the warm air hit him like a wall. A nice, comforting, much-needed wall. He pulled off his scarf, fixing the glasses that kept falling down his nose. He really should stop putting it off and get them fixed. Alas, he would probably keep putting it off for another six months, at the very least.
The air in the bleachers around the pool smelled like chlorine and something else that Hyunjin had yet to place. He set his things down and dug out his trusty sketch pad and a pencil that had definitely seen better days. It was barely half the length of Hyunjin’s pointer finger anymore, but it was his best pencil, so he refused to get rid of it, even if it made his hand cramp like hell. Today he would only be doing some light sketching, anyway, so it should be okay.
Yelling and laughter soon filled the space, as the men of the swim team appeared from what Hyunjin could only assume was the locker room. Most of them had a towel slung over their shoulders, fixing their swim caps or rubbing sore muscles as they talked. He picked his first subject and started sketching, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he studied the movements of his muscles.
Down by the pool, Changbin nudged at Chan and then gestured towards the man sat on the bleachers. He had been every Wednesday like clockwork for the past semester, and Changbin had taken note of it, along with a few of his friends. Chan looked up at the man, slightly shaking his head.
“I wonder how he always has time to be here,” he said. “Like, I know I’m drowning in coursework constantly.”
“That’s because you procrastinate everything,” Changbin rolled his eyes. “If you did things sooner, you wouldn’t have to worry so much.”
“Shut your mouth,” he groaned. “I have things to do.”
“You spend way too much time training,” he said. “You’re like a workaholic, but your work is swimming and going to the gym.”
“Are you talking about Chan?” Seungmin, who had just appeared behind him when he stopped talking, asked. “He’s always working out.”
“Come on, guys,” he sighed. “I’m not always working out.”
Both men gave Chan a look, and he groaned, throwing his hands up in defeat. Changbin laughed and fist bumped Seungmin right as their coach walked in, clipboard in his hand as he called everyone to gather around for roll call. The men quickly calmed down and focused, the hall quieting down in an instant.
In the bleachers, Hyunjin looked up, pushing his glasses up once again. He looked at the man that stood at least a head shorter than everyone, at his impressive build, and decided he would be the next target. Easily enough for him, the team dispersed around the empty floor area by the pool to warm up, giving him an easy line of sight to the man.
He was all soft, round muscle and nice smile when he laughed at something his taller friend said. Hyunjin tried to capture the glint in his eye, but because the sketch was nothing more than that, graphite on paper, he felt he fell short.
The vibrating of his phone in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts, and he took it out. Jeongin’s name was displayed across the screen, but he ignored the call in favour of continuing his sketching. He shot the man a quick, apologetic message, letting him know he was busy and couldn’t pick up right now.
When the noise of the men splashing in the water and the coach yelling got too much, Hyunjin pulled out his headphones and put them on, turning on his favourite podcast. He listened to the man talk about space as he immersed himself in the shading of the water that he traced on the paper on his lap, trying to best capture the glimmer in it from where the sun came in through the windows.
In the pool, Changbin was shit-talking Seungmin as Chan cackled in the end of the pool. Before their coach could scold them for the thousandth time, he slid into the water and started his own lap, warming up for the real deal. When he passed Changbin, the younger stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“Dinner after?” he asked, and Chan nodded with a smile. Changbin gave a satisfied hum and gave his shoulder a light tap before pushing off from the end wall of the pool.
When practice ended, Hyunjin got up to walk away. To his misfortune, his pencil case slipped when he got up and tumbled all the way down the bleachers and by the pile of the swim team’s things. He cursed under his breath as the man he had been looking at earlier noticed and walked over to pick it up, using his other hand to dry himself off with a towel.
Quickly, Hyunjin scrambled down the stairs and prepared himself to ask for his pencil case back. He stared at the stupid, golden retriever shaped thing in the swimmer’s hand, internally groaning. The swimmer was turning it around in his hand, a smile playing on his lips.
Hyunjin approached him carefully, moving one side off his headphones off his ear. He cleared his throat, causing the man in front of him to snap his gaze up and towards him.
“Uh,” Hyunjin started, fixing his glasses. “Can I have it back?”
“Oh, right,” the man smiled. “Of course, sorry.”
He nodded when he handed the stupid thing over and shoved it in his bag faster than he thought possible. Unable to meet the man’s eye, he mumbled a quick ‘thanks’, before turning around and exiting the hall.
Chan threw his arm around Changbin, slightly shaking him, “hello? Anyone in there?”
“Huh?” Changbin said, turning to look at his friend. “Were you saying something?”
“I was asking what you want to eat,” he laughed. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal. Never mind that he had just met the most gorgeous man he had ever laid his eyes on, and he had a silly pencil case and the cutest glasses and the smoothest voice.
“So, the food?” Chan repeated his question, waving his hand in front of Changbin’s frozen face. “Binnie.”
“Uh, anything is fine,” he said, grabbing his things from the bench. “Whatever you want.”
“You always shift the responsibility of decisions onto me,” he sighed dramatically, causing Changbin to smack him square in the chest. “Ow.”
“You’re being annoying. You deserved it,” he said simply, then called Seungmin over to them, asking if he was going to join them for dinner. He messaged his boyfriend and then nodded, and suddenly the group chat had decided that everyone was going to join.
“I am not paying,” Chan said, and both his friends rolled their eyes. “I’m not!”
“You always end up paying,” Seungmin said. “Stop whining about it. You, like, get off on getting to buy people stuff. Especially buying Minho stuff.”
“Okay, shut the fuck up,” he said, sending the other into a bout of giggles. “Ugh. Let’s go, guys.”
The following morning, when Hyunjin was laying on his bed and putting some finishing touches on his sketches from the day before, Jeongin got home, dropping onto his own bed. Hyunjin turned to look at him and chuckled a bit.
“Did you have fun?” he asked, turning onto his side to face his friend. “You seem tired.”
“Exams are kicking my ass,” he groaned. “But the boyfriend was fun.”
“Right, exams,” he said. “Difficult.”
Jeongin looked at him, narrowing his eyes, “we both know you’re an insufferable nerd, and you’re only faking your agreeance on the subject.”
“Sorry,” he smiled apologetically. “What did you do last night?”
“We got some food with friends and went back to his place,” he said. “And then, I don’t think you want to hear the rest of it.”
Hyunjin snorted a bit and nodded, attention shifting back to his sketch pad, his ears tuning into whatever Jeongin decided to put on the speakers. He was taking full advantage of the lecture-free morning he had. Recently, he hadn’t had much free time to sketch just out of his own volition, his art always some sort of coursework that he had to complete.
“Maybe you could join me with my friends sometime,” Jeongin suddenly said, turning around to look at him. “You’re always so lonely.”
“I’m not lonely,” he said, rolling his eyes a bit. “I prefer to keep my circles small.”
“Do you?”
Hyunjin paused for a beat, then laughed, the kind that doesn’t quite sound right, “of course I do. I’m fine.”
“You never wanted to date someone?”
He shrugged a bit, “I’m fine. Girls don’t really interest me all that much.”
“Right,” Jeongin said, but he clearly didn’t believe him. Hyunjin just felt relieved that he stopped asking questions, staring at his sketch pad with tears stinging in the corners of his eyes.
Of course, he felt lonely sometimes. He had always felt a sense of not belonging, no matter where he went. And he knew that it was his problem to fix, but it was safer like this, not trying to insert himself somewhere where he didn’t really belong. To stay cooped up in the dorm when he wasn’t in lectures, shutting out the world that got too loud for him so often.
He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to slow down his brain that was attempting to spin out of control. He tried to focus on the slow music, on Jeongin’s phone that was playing a video, Jeongin’s little giggles when he saw something funny.
Maybe he really should try to be more outgoing. Trust in people and that all of them don’t hate him. Next time Jeongin asks him to go, he will say yes. He’s going to be brave.
“I think I’m going to go get some coffee before class,” Hyunjin said, getting up from the bed with a groan. He stretched his back and legs and then pulled on his hoodie from the day before. After grabbing his tote bag and shoving his feet into his ratty Converse, he made his way outside, headphones on his ears.
The weather was nicer than the previous days, the cold wind had eased up and the sun was shining. Hyunjin much preferred the warmth, always running cold. His feet took him to his usual coffee shop as he repeated his order in his head to not mess it up when he had to order. No matter how many times he ordered, his tongue always got tied when he stepped up to the counter.
The bell above the door jingled when Hyunjin pushed the door to the shop open, and he marched up to the counter, inspecting the pastry options of the day.
A familiar, pink-haired man appeared from the back and smiled, “hi, what can I get you today?”
“Um, an americano, iced,” he said, rubbing his hands together nervously. “And a croissant. Uh, almond croissant.”
“Alright, coming right up!” the man behind the counter smiled. Hyunjin nodded and tapped his phone against the terminal to pay. He watched the man prepare his coffee and drop a croissant into a small brown paper bag. When he handed them to him, Hyunjin gave a small ‘thanks’, then basically bolted.
To his luck, the lecture hall was still fairly empty when he got in, and he could go to his usual seat in the back without anyone paying attention to him. When he was comfortable in his seat, he took out his croissant and started eating, losing himself in his podcast. This time, it was art history, the renaissance.
Changbin had just and just managed to drag himself out of bed at noon, and now he was running to reach his lecture hall before his professor did. He saw the man’s back a few metres in front of him, and he cursed. His legs pounded harder against the floor, and he was apologizing to people as he tried to dodge them all.
For once, he was successful in his daily endeavour, taking a seat in the back just as the professor stepped inside, looking around in disappointment at all the empty seats. Changbin took out his laptop to take some notes, and that was when he noticed the man from yesterday, sitting one seat away from him.
He was wearing the same light pink hoodie as the day before, his long, black hair a little messy, in the best possible way. He was wearing headphones again, and Changbin couldn’t help but wonder what he was listening to. When he looked closer, he noticed the man was sketching into the column of his notebook.
The sketches were intricate, some sort of anatomical studies, if Changbin was interpreting them right. He couldn’t help but marvel at the man’s talent, able to create pictures with just some graphite on paper.
Hyunjin felt eyes on him, and when he turned to look to his left, he saw the man who had handed him his pencil case yesterday. He was watching the sketches he was making, and Hyunjin had to fight the urge to cover them with his forearm. His fingers twitched against his pencil, something that happened when he was nervous.
To his luck, the professor cleared his throat in the front, and the swimmer next to him turned his attention to the greying man standing by the podium. Hyunjin slid his headphones off and tucked them into his bag, popping a few pieces of watermelon flavoured gum in his mouth. Then, he focused on what the professor was saying.
It was something he was very interested in, about space engineering. He had taken the course as an optional one to balance out the work of the art department, something different but aligned with his interests.
As he took notes, sketching in between, he felt the swimmer’s eyes on him again. He felt his back turning itchy and cheeks warming up from the unwarranted attention, and he fidgeted with his pencil. To soothe himself, he rubbed his other palm against his jeans, taking a deep breath. That seemed to wake the shorter man up, and he averted his gaze, allowing Hyunjin to breathe again.
When the professor dismissed them, Changbin stood up and looked at the long-haired man, wondering if he should talk to him or not. He noticed the anxious way he was bouncing his leg, and then he decided against it. Maybe he would try to take it a bit slower than that. He knew he could get too enthusiastic sometimes, and he didn’t want to scare this handsome stranger away.
His phone dinged as he left the hall, telltale sign of his friends begging for lunch together. He pulled his phone out and shot a quick message back, letting them know he’d be there. As he stood there, looking down at his screen, he felt someone bump into him. He spun around and was met with sketcher.
“I’m sorry, shit,” he immediately said, taking his headphones off and pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Cute was all that Changbin’s brain was managing to conjure.
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” he smiled gently. “I’m kind of short. Can’t see me easily.”
“Uh, right,” the man nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Changbin assured him. The man nodded again and then looked at his phone that was vibrating in his hand. He stood there as the man typed something, wondering if he should say something more.
Hyunjin looked up when he was done replying to Jeongin and met the swimmer’s gaze, “uh, well, bye.”
“Bye,” the man replied, and then Hyunjin walked away, headphones back on his ears.
Jeongin was easy to spot in the cafeteria. He was laughing, nudging his boyfriend that was sat next to him. Hyunjin had only seen him a handful of times, but it was clear, even from the back, that it was him. He smiled a bit to himself and then went to grab some food for himself before walking over to the table.
“Look at you!” Jeongin beamed when he sat next to him. “How was class?”
“It was fine,” he said, poking at the salad in front of him with his fork.
“It’s nice to see you again,” Jeongin’s boyfriend said with a smile. “Jeongin keeps telling me you avoid joining us.”
“Right,” he laughed awkwardly. “I’m not a very social creature.”
“That’s alright,” he smiled. “We keep the conversation going, you can just nod along. Or zone out, if that’s what you prefer.”
He nodded, scanning the other men sitting around the table. Then, a familiar face was greeting everyone and sitting down, and his eyes met with Hyunjin’s. Hyunjin dropped his eyes back to his salad, the tomatoes and red onion much more interesting than anything else in the room.
“Who’s this?” the swimmer asked.
“This is my friend, and my roommate, Hyunjin,” Jeongin said. “He finally agreed to come eat lunch with us.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Hyunjin,” he smiled. “I’m Changbin.”
“Hi,” he smiled nervously. “Nice to meet you too.”