Chapter Text
Two different ideals can mix like oil and water.
If one yells out the significance of duty, the other must deflect in ethics. If one walks left, the other must walk right. If one dies, the other must live. Kakashi Hatake and Obito Uchiha were like oil and water. If Obito were oil, he’d be poured down the drain, leaving a coat of grease in the water-filled pot.
Was the pot half-full or half-empty? An outsider could respond without hesitation to this question, an answer stained with their own opinion, however, the only true answer was known by the water itself. Afterall, it is in the pot.
Will the water ever mix with the grease?
Will the grease ever drain?
Will the water ever drain?
Would the oil accept the water after what it's done?
“Would you like to join me for lunch!?”
Kakashi’s pointless hypotheticals suddenly poofed into a cloud the second he registered the ear-splitting holler leaving his “eternal” rival's mouth who had been sitting only a couple feet to the right of him inside a wooden sweets shop. Maybe they went down the drain as well. He shot a quick glance inside, and then down at the standout who called his name, staring at him like he was the most important person in the world.
As soon as Gai caught a gleam of recognition in Kakashi’s eye, a wide, radiant smile came across his face. “I have dangos!” He continued, his voice still as booming as ever, like he wanted every person around him to personally know his business. “It’ll be on me if you join me!” His eyes shifted towards his half-eaten stick, then back at Kakashi. “I know how hard you’ve been working lately, I hardly see you around the village anymore… As your eternal rival I’d be willing to set aside our very special rivalry this once and-”
“Not a big sweets person.” Kakashi cut him off, shoving his hands in his pockets and stepping away. He wasn’t sure why he had let Gai talk so much in the first place, he shouldn’t have let him get his hopes up, it was pointless really. Gai should learn to ditch Kakashi by now.
Should but never does. Kakashi feels a sick weight turn in his stomach.
“Rival.” Gai’s smile, or more so, his usual mouth shape, shifted into a thin line. His dark eyes carried a hint of pity in them, if the way his entire body tensed wasn’t obvious enough. His voice softened, “If you ever need-”
Kakashi was gone before he could finish his sentence.
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Obito didn’t care whether Kakashi lived or died.
His current existence served no purpose to him, there was no need to think about the current version of his former teammate when he could have the “real” one. The one who would scoff at his comments, the one who would hide how much he actually liked his team, the one who would excel in all fields he tried.
The current Kakashi was just a husk of the real Kakashi. He lacked the qualities the real one had. He trained less and less, he lacked the previous edge in his tone and he hardly took care of himself. Husk Kakashi let Rin die and took the real Kakashi down with her.
Obito’s favorite pastime wasn’t watching Kakashi. He only happened to be wherever Obito went.
Obito didn’t save Kakashi when he became reckless on missions because he cared about him, he just needed to test his abilities on shinobi.
Obito didn’t appreciate the gifts Kakashi left at his gravestone. He only transported them into his kamui dimension for training purposes.
Obito didn’t spare Kakashi because he wanted to. He only did so because Kakashi blacked out during his slaughter after Rin’s death. There would be no point in killing him because he never witnessed it.
Obito didn’t care about him, but maybe he’d be a little bit upset if husk Kakashi ended up dead.
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Who would Rin be in the scenario? Maybe she’d be a whisk. It probably isn’t possible to mix oil and water though. Well, you can try if you mix it vigorously enough.
“Idiotic. Projecting Rin onto inanimate objects doesn’t make her any more alive. It doesn’t fill the punched-out hole in her heart. It doesn’t change the fact that her funeral is supposed to be held today.”
Kakashi stares at his ceiling. Rin’s service is supposed to start in 10 minutes, Kakashi planned to get out of his futon 4 hours ago, yet he hasn’t moved a muscle. He probably wouldn’t be able to if he tried a little harder. It felt like he was at the bottom of the ocean, unable to even lift his arm from all the pressure exerted on him. Rin would be disappointed, Obito would yell at him. Well, they technically were, in his head at least. Their voices were loud, shouting at him to stand up and show respect for his faults.
But he didn’t. Kakashi wished he had the energy to put his hands over his ears, if that would even do anything.
Showing up would be insulting. Reminding the attendants how gruesome her death was with his presence would break their hearts even more. Just like how he
Not showing up would be insulting. They’d see no signs of remorse from him, nailing a reminder in their heads on how utterly pointless her death was. If Kakashi never existed, Rin would probably be smiling right now, booming over how her favorite season was right around the corner, how beautiful the warm-toned leaves would be in the sunlight. She’d turn to Obito, laughing,
“I don’t get how fall isn’t your favorite season!”
Obito would respond, “There aren’t any major holidays in fall.. Surreeee, I guess the trees and stuff are nice but what about all the gifts you can get in the winter!” He'd flash an awkward smile as soon as he’d see Rin’s deadpanned expression.
And then, a small smile would creep across her face as well, followed by a giggle, “I’m not surprised you’re focused on all the presents you can get! Is that seriously why winter is your favorite season?”
She lightly punched Obito on the shoulder. A hinge of pink became evident on his face. “I don’t want to hear it!” He cried, “Everybody likes gifts!”
Kakashi rolls his eyes, “Of course you’d think of something like that.”
“What was that Bakashi?”
“I said, of course your favorite season depends on how many gifts you get.”
“You take that back! I’d like to hear y
Obito continued pouting at Rin because there was nobody else besides them in this conversation. Only Obito and Rin were there.
Rin smiles, “I like gifts too Obito.”
Obito’s face was practically a tomato at this point, he croaked out, “Oh yeah.. I had forgotten.. I was the only one who didn’t get you a gift for becoming a Jonin, Kakashi.” Both Rin and Obito directed their attention towards Kakashi, who didn’t know he was there to begin with.
Obito and Rin were dead because Kakashi killed them.
Kakashi drew himself out of the delusion he caught himself in, the reality shifting from a pleasant day in the training field to his dump of an apartment. He’d struggled to clean it since Obito.. Well,
“No amount of imagining takes away from the fact that Rin’s funeral is today.” Kakashi mentally reminded himself. “It’s definitely ongoing by now..”
With much effort, he forced himself to sit up, then fell down on his back again.
He managed to find his voice and muttered, “I’m sorry Rin.. I can’t go.”
But nobody responded.
If he never existed, someone would respond. Well, that was an oxymoron, but they’d be there to respond to each other at least. They’d probably be happier than ever. Obito wouldn’t have someone insulting him and Rin wouldn’t have to deal with petty fights. Kakashi wondered how many more people would be saved if he stopped existing from this moment on. How many people would be saved from his hands? Kakashi managed to shift his eyes down to them.
Suddenly all the weight holding him down became as light as a feather, he shot out of his futon, desperately shambling over to his kitchen sink, hitting the handle with an abundant amount of force. He looked pathetic, quite the shinobi he was.
Kakashi’s right hand was covered in blood and no amount of water could ever wash it off.
To protect himself in times of danger, he taught himself to keep his mind running, to always prepare for the uncertainty so his actions could neatly align with his thoughts. But right now, his mind ran blank, only the sound of his own heartbeat kept him company. Scrubbing his hands had no thought, it came as natural as breathing. Was he even breathing?
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Obito watched the fake Rin’s funeral from the shadows. Pointless tears were shed by attendants. They’d eventually see her again anyway. Watching the event was necessary, but Obito couldn’t think of a reason why yet.
For such a depressing day, the sky had an absence of dark clouds.
“That's how Rin would’ve wanted it.” Obito shook his head, rephrasing his thoughts, “That’s how Rin will want it.”
As much as he tried to ignore it, he finally brought himself to notice the absence of a certain someone. Husk Kakashi didn’t come to the funeral of his “last” remaining teammate. Everyone else sure did though, including some old academy classmates who didn’t know her that well. Including her “dead” teammate. It didn’t matter anyways. Husk Kakashi didn’t matter. Fake Rin didn’t matter. Nothing mattered in the current world.
Obito pretended not to feel his blood boiling and the pain in chest as he vanished once again. He wouldn’t return to see Kakashi for a while. Obito had other matters to attend to.
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Rin’s funeral passed. Kakashi figured so once Minato pulled him away from the sink and shook his shoulders for a minute straight with his eyebrows creased into an upside down arch. His sensei began to lecture him on something like not scrubbing your hands until your skin comes off.
In all honesty, Kakashi couldn’t remember, his mind was more caught on finding ways to board up his door so that Minato couldn’t just walk on in next time. Next time. He secretly hoped there was a next time that could silence his mind once again.