Chapter Text
When Eddie had proposed to Shannon it wasn’t anything spectacular, it wasn’t romantic. It was ordinary, and plain, and soaked with the expectations surrounding them after the revelations that they not only had pre-marital sex but were now going to have a child as a result of that. The proposal itself was a mess, Eddie had asked Shannon to meet him down by the lake on a Thursday evening. This itself was nothing out of the ordinary for them, this lake was notorious in their town for rowdy teenagers to hang out drinking beers and making out on the backseats of cars. In the days prior to this evening Eddie had been avoiding Shannon following a heated argument with his parents where Ramon had almost taken delight in reminding his son what being the man of the house entails.
He hadn’t got a ring yet, he hardly had the time or money to do so in the days between Ramon words coating his son's internal turmoil in a layer of shame and Eddie now walking down the well-trodden path. He knew he would get her, and he knew she’d understand. Shannon always understood, until she simply ran out of the patience to keep doing so. She made as much clear during their last fight before she left, and as she walked out of their shared home she wished that maybe Eddie could’ve understood her too.
Eddie didn’t know that’s how this would end up when he approached her at the lakeside, his hands shaking and knee bent as he tried his best to avoid the ‘ums’ that filtered between each half rehearsed word. The prose that came from him was more an explanation of why he’s proposing than anything truly meaningful but it worked.
Shannon said yes.
They wed less than 3 months after that day, the ceremony was simple - Shannon wore her mothers wedding dress, her pregnancy not quite showing enough for it to be an issue, and Eddie found a cheap suit at a local thrift store. Their families sat on opposing sides of the church aisle barely making an attempt to integrate with one another - everyone just seemed to want the day over.
The reception was held in the Diaz family back garden - only Shannon’s parents came from her side. It wasn’t treated as a celebration, just the natural next step in their relationship given that they’d previously skipped past it to the next one as far as the church was concerned. Soon enough the day was over and Eddie was content with the fact that he’d never need to go through this again. No more proposals or weddings. He was married and that was that.
It wasn’t until he dated Ana that he realised this wasn’t necessarily true.
He knows now he handled it badly, having a panic attack so severe you need to see a cardiologist at the thought of marrying the overall lovely woman you’re dating is not what well adjusted people do. Things with Marisol were fine, but if he was buying a ring for anyone during that relationship it would’ve been Kim but luckily Eddie snapped out of it before he had a chance to do something that extreme with her. After all that he stepped away from women for a while and he’d been feeling a lot lighter for it.
And that should be it - if there’s no girlfriend, then there’s no need to even think about getting married again. Or there shouldn’t be a need. Somehow there still is. Somehow Eddie finds himself standing in his kitchen, hands gripping the countertop behind his back looking across the room into eyes he could pick from a line up not even trying to stop the words coming from his mouth.
“Let’s get married”
His eyes stayed locked on their target swimming in the blue, tracing the signs of panic creeping across his best friend's face. Buck had been catastrophizing over his upcoming meeting with Deidra regarding him starting the process for adoption, he’s been down countless fostering forums trying to find what social services are looking for when making the decision as to whether or not it can become a permanent placement. There was many things he read that he could work with:
Buck was a first responder - he knew that this could show his responsibility and having someone medically trained in the household with a child as rambunctious as Theo would only be a good thing
They like to place children with family where possible and with none of Theo’s extended family currently stepping up to offer themselves as an option Buck is the most willing of Theo’s biological family and he hopes this could work in his favour
Theo has a huge support network with Buck, the 118 adore the young boy affectionately nicknamed a ‘Buckling’ by them all, one visit to see auntie Maddie at dispatch had the entire call centre ready to die for him, and most of all they have Chris and Eddie. Eddie who just stood opposite Buck proposing that they get married as plainly as you suggest you get Thai food for dinner.
He knows how Eddie reached the point in their conversation where this could be the next sentence someone said, Buck was focusing on all the ways they might find he isn’t a good fit to adopt Theo.
Being a first responder means long and unpredictable hours - and as a firefighter it means putting yourself in dangerous situations day and night. Buck’s had more hospital admissions than he’s had hugs from his parents so he was just praying HIPPA covered social services prying into your medical log to see how many near death experiences you’ve had.
Just because he was the donor that gave Theo life doesn’t mean he’s the closest relative and should a grandparent change their mind Buck knows he has limited right to even try and fight back if Deidra decides they’d be a better fit since they’ve known Theo longer.
He’s a single male. Statistically they prefer for couples to adopt and with the other reservations Buck’s outlined he can’t help but worry that this could be the nail in the coffin. He’s never struggled to find a date, but it’s not like he could just turn up at a club and find a willing participant to be his life partner for the sake of adopting a son. But apparently he could pace in his best friend’s kitchen for half an hour and the offer would come.
“Eddie?” Buck asked realising how long he’d been staring back into the other man's eyes, “do you know what you just said,” he continued desperately trying to find any sign on Eddie’s face that this was all some twisted joke.
Nothing came. Nothing but genuine sincerity in Eddie’s eyes and his soft words. “Yes Buck, if it’s going to help you be able to adopt Theo we should get married,” he released his grip slightly on the counter but stayed where he was allowing Buck some space to come to terms with the proposition at hand.
“We can’t lie to Deidra,” Buck reasoned, his voice laced with anxiety.
“I’m not asking you to lie, I’m asking you to marry me.” Eddie replied feeling a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he said it.
“I-We can’t do that Eddie,” Buck insisted in response furrowing his brow at the upward twitch of Eddie’s lips
“Course we can,” Eddie replied, “I’ve done it before, pretty easy stuff. Just need to sign some paperwork at the courthouse,” he added with a chuckle hoping to dispel some of the tension thickening in the room around them.
“Why would you do this Eddie?” Buck asked, letting his head lean slowly forward until Eddie was out of his line of sight.
“Because Evan, I care about you and I care about Theo. You have done such a good job raising him so far and I know how much it’s going to hurt you to not have him stay with you long term,” Eddie answered, speaking more earnestly than Buck’s heard him talk in a long time. Eddie took slow strides across the room until he was at Bucks side - not quite touching but close enough for his presence to be known, “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you Buck,” he added, turning his head to face the man at his side.
“This isn’t just paying for groceries or covering dinner, Eds this is a big deal, it’s a commitment,” Buck pleaded to the floor before pulling his head up to meet Eddie’s gaze just inches from his own, in a much quieter voice Buck added, ”a commitment to me.”
“Buck,” Eddie said back equally as low, “given that you’re in my will I’d say I’m already fairly committed to having you in my life for a long time,” he added.
“This is different,” Buck stated, holding back the tears welling in his eyes.
“I don’t think so,” Eddie commented softly, “both documents are us ensuring that our kids are going to be taken care of no matter what,” he added with his thumb coming up to catch the first tear to fall from Buck’s eye before it could reach the edge of his jaw.
“You’re always so casual about this,” Buck sniffled, “starting to think you enjoy filling out legal documents,” he added with a weak laugh deflecting from the real emotions plaguing him.
“It’s easy with you,” Eddie stated plainly, “no doubt in my mind that I want you in my life forever,” he added as Buck met his gaze once again.
“I think you’re the first person to feel that way,” Buck replied not feigning a laugh this time, “are you sure you want to do this Eds?” he asked.
“I’m certain,” Eddie replied, “let’s get married,” he added.
“Okay, we’re going to need some rules,” Buck stated, pushing the balls of his hands across his eyes to remove any remaining tears, “So that we’re on the same page.”
“Sure, what do you have in mind,” Eddie asked following Buck as he went to sit down at the table.
“We need to be prepared for her questions. We can pull from our real lives I suppose for most of it but we need to decide on when we got together,” Buck started, “Obviously our marriage license will be whatever day we can get to the courthouse but we need to decide when we got engaged and when we started dating,” he continued
“Okay, um - how about we say it was a whirlwind romance. We got engaged after I moved back to LA. Say that we weren’t dating before then but between Bobby and the move we didn’t want to wait anymore.” Eddie reasoned.
“Um, yeah, sure. Very specific, good good. It’s good to be detailed, okay, so um. We were - what - engaged all that time and then decided to get married for,” Buck rambled in response.
“For Theo, we’d been waiting for the right time and never found it so figured we should just take the leap of committing to each other for him - which is kind of what we’re doing anyways.” Eddie replied being relatively unaware of the somersaults he’s causing in bucks abdomen.
“Yeah, sounds like a good backstory,” Buck stated, “we also need to think of what we’re going to say to people,” he added.
“Oh, right. Deidra’s going to ask for references. Who are you putting down for that?” Eddie asked.
“Athena, I’m sure she’ll keep this arrangement to herself. Maddie, she will never let me live this down but she will also keep it to herself. Chim is the other, which is the one that scares me,” Buck answered.
“Okay, I’m sure it’ll be fine just as long as we tell everyone first. If they find out from Chim it’ll be a whole thing but if we explain ourselves they’ll understand,” Eddie reasoned, “just a friend helping a friend,” he added.
“Yeah okay so we just tell everyone that needs to know and then to the rest of the world we’re just Buck and Eddie,” Buck stated.
“Which we are, I mean nothing is changing - not really right. It’s just a piece of paper that tells people what most people already know about us,” Eddie responded, “that we’ve got each other's backs no matter what,” he added as if this was any real way to discuss being married to someone.
“Okay, I'll look tomorrow and see what availability the courthouse has, I can ask Maddie to be the witness, I need to tell her about us doing this in advance anyways since I’m pretty sure she has my birth certificate,” Buck waffled whilst scrolling to set reminders in his phone.
“Sounds great, are you going to wear a suit?” Eddie asked with a light chuckle slipping through his teeth.
“Well that depends, are you going to get us rings,” Buck replied equally as teasing, pulling them both into a comfortable warmth despite the conversation that came before, “would it have killed you to be a bit more prepared, Eds,” he continued.
“Well I didn’t exactly expect this to be where the conversation ended up Buck,” Eddie chuckled softly.
“So what you just proposed to me on a whim?” Buck guffawed in response at the absurdity.
“Yeah, I thought of the solution and offered it,” Eddie answered in a direct enough way that Buck could see this was serious.
“And you’re still sure you want to go ahead with this,” Buck asked, handing Eddie the escape key to the room they’ve both spent this evening backing themselves into.
“I’ve never felt more sure of anything Buck,” Eddie answered hoping Buck wouldn’t probe further at this answer, knowing he’d be unable to understand why he felt that way.
“Okay, so we’re doing this,” Buck exhaled.
“We’re doing this,” Eddie added. Their evening closed out soon after this, Buck crashed on the couch with Theo tucked up on a mini mattress on the floor next to Chris’ bed where the older boy slept equally as soundly. Eddie laid in his own bed drifting off to a gentle slumber dreaming of a church filled with his closest friends and family, he dreams of walking between church pews surrounded on both sides by the people he cares about most. He scans the crowd looking for one person in particular - Buck - but he’s nowhere to be seen. Eddie takes his place at the Alter alongside his sisters and son and before he can ask why Buck wasn’t here he has his answer. Following the same path Eddie just walked was Buck, arms linked with Athena proudly strutting towards him.
Oh, this is their wedding.
The dream turns warm if not a little fuzzy at its edges, Buck leans in to kiss him when he hears “EDDIE” shouted loud enough to wake him from his sleep. Theo’s awake. Luckily Theo hasn’t learnt the layout of Eddie’s house well enough to be able to find his room so he’s got a few moments more before he has to rejoin the real world. His hand instinctively comes up to his face letting a finger tip feather across his lower lip mourning the loss of a sensation he’s never felt - Buck’s lips against his.
He’s fucked.
“Eddie’s still asleep sweetheart,” Buck tried to explain down the hall to the young boy, “you’ll see him soon,” he added.
“I want to see him NOOOOOW” Theo boomed and as if knowing the exact path to getting what he wants and adds, “I miss him,” in the quietest voice he can manage.
“Okay, let me check if he’s awake and if he is you can see him now okay,” Buck suggested as he padded barefoot to Eddie’s room. He cracked the door open slightly and was presented with Eddie already out of bed and halfway to the door, "It's okay if you want longer in bed,” Buck reassured, keeping his tone hushed.
“It’s fine Buck,” Eddie replied softly feeling grateful for something to focus on that wasn’t Buck, or the dream about marrying Buck, or the reality that he is actually going to marry Buck. Between the two of them they managed breakfast and getting both boys ready for their days, it was domestic and normal and getting married just put all of this normal into writing. Eddie was sure the dream meant nothing.
Buck had once told him that dreams are made of manifest and latent content and he;d found since that conversation his dreams seemed to make a lot more sense. The manifest was the literal situation of the dream - the wedding. Eddie dreamt that he was marrying Buck and he’d dreamt that because it was the last discussion he had before bed. It was logical. But the latent content, the underlying subconscious meaning of the dream was escaping him this time. Their family was there - maybe Eddie was just craving connection. Yeah that’s it. And maybe marrying Buck will give him that. Before he could lose himself in trying to understand his wants it was time to leave.
Kindergarten was the first drop off, Buck took Theo in whilst Eddie and Chris started back in the truck, Eddie knew everything was about to escalate fast and Chris had to hear about this marriage from him so he turned back and took a deep breath.
“Dad?” Chris asked looking up from his phone to see a rather panicked version of his dad looking back at him, “everything okay?”.
“Everything is fine,” Eddie stated, not sounding reassuring in the slightest, “I just have something to ask you, and if you’re not okay with it then just tell me and it won’t happen okay. I need you to be on board with it before I go ahead with it,” he continued, running a hand up and down on the back of his neck.
“Is it about Buck?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes actually,” Eddie replied suspiciously, “were you eavesdropping last night?” he asked with a squint of his eyes.
“No, just a lucky guess,” Chris snarked, “so what’s the news,” he added with a sly smile.
“We, well we decided it would be best if um,” Eddie stammered suddenly feeling aware of how abnormal this situation actually is, “we are going to get married,” he spat out feeling more terror in this truck than he did in the trenches of Afghanistan.
“Oh,” is all Chris could squeak out at first. A silence hung as the Diaz boys stared at each other before the younger of the two was able to break the silence, “I didn’t know you two were dating,” his earlier smugness slipped from his voice leaving just the genuine shock of this moment.
“We’re not,” Eddie rushed out leaving Chris looking even more stunned, “it’s just for Theo, to help Buck adopt him. They prefer couples to adopt, especially for younger kids,” he continued, not sure who he was justifying the situation to.
“Okay, that makes sense,” Chris lied, “so if someone asks, I should say that you’re together?” he asked.
“If Deidra asks you then yes, but otherwise no,” Eddie answered, trying to keep the situation clinical, “but I don’t really think anyone’s going to ask you if Buck and I are dating mijo,” he added.
“You’d be surprised,” Chris mumbled under his breath just loud enough for Eddie to hear, before he had a chance to question what his son meant by that the door swung upon and Buck bounced inside.
“Ready to roll?” Buck asked before suddenly noticing the atmospheric change in the car, “we good?” he asked, glancing up to see Chris in the rearview mirror and then turning to see Eddie beside him - shellshocked.
“Dad says you’re getting married,” Chris piped up, finally breaking the tension, eager to get a semblance of normal that will get him to school and out of this car sooner than later.
“Yes, we are,” Buck replied, “on paper, not romantically,” he added as if feared Eddie hadn’t already covered this.
“Yeah for Theo, dad’s… explained it,” Chris added - explained feels like the wrong word for the discussion but there’s not merely enough time to get into the nuance of it all before drop off, “are you telling Theo?” he asked suddenly realising how little Buck and Eddie had spoken about this but the panic stricken on both their faces.
“I hadn’t thought about that yet,” Eddie replied, “I mean we have to,” he continued.
“I think it’s unethical to make a 4 year old lie about us being married,” Buck reasoned, pulling out of the parking space and proceeding on to Chris’ school.
“It’s not a lie, we’re getting real married Buck,” Eddie reminded him.
“You know what I mean Eds,” Buck quipped.
“I do, and I think it’s easiest if he just isn’t told that we’re only married on paper,” Eddie replies.
“So we just lie TO him? Isn’t this how you cause childhood trauma,” Buck remarked, getting a chuckle from Chris in the back.
“I think you’re overestimating how much a toddler understands about the details of marriage, if we need to we’ll explain ourselves when he’s older but right now I think he’s fine to think it’s real,” Eddie continued giving Buck a reassuring smile.
“Chances are he thinks you’re already married,” Chris added with a snort.
“Why would you say that,” Buck asked, whipping his head back to look at Chris straight on that Eddie needed to grab the wheel in front of Buck to keep the car stable.
“Because he’s four years old and you two are co-parenting so what else would he think,” Chris shrugged as if he was stating that the sky’s blue. No one had much time to digest those words before they pulled up outside Chris’ school and dropped him off leaving Buck and Eddie alone for the first time since they decided to get married. The drive from Chris’ school to the firehouse was short but right now it felt like crossing statelines.
“So we’re telling people already?” Buck asked, removing any hope of small talk on this drive.
“I know we already agreed to do it but I needed to know Chris was fine with it before we actually signed anything,” Eddie explained, “we don’t need to tell anyone else - beside Maddie of course - until afterwards though,” he added.
“I don’t even know how to start this conversation with Maddie,” Buck sighed, “how was it with Chris?” he asked.
“I um, I blacked out I think,” Eddie chuckled, “he knew it was related to you,” he added, unsure if this was productive to the conversation.
“Yeah, I think Maddie will have a similar reaction,” Buck laughed in response as they pulled into the firehouse, the impending start of their 48 preventing this conversation from continuing further.
Their silent tension followed them into the locker room and continued to surround them as they reached the loft - Buck splitting left to the kitchen and Eddie splitting right to the couch. They kept their distance all shift as best as they professionally could - not necessarily to avoid one another, but more to keep them from saying anything to each other that prying ears could overhear. The shift was as uneventful as one could be and they soon reached the end of it. Maddie was already rostered to babysit Theo today so Buck knew this might as well be the time to explain his upcoming wedding plans to her so he bid everyone a farewell and grabbed a ride back with Chimney leaving his truck with Eddie to allow him a way home.
Eddie lingered at the end of the shift, he knew Chris would appreciate a little more alone time at home and he wasn’t ready to face whatever questions the last 48 hours allowed him to prepare. So he sat on the locker room bench trying to make sense of what he’s agreed to do.
“Hey,” Hen called out, “mind if I sit with you?” she asked as if approaching a wounded deer at the edge of a woodland.
“Sure,” Eddie replied, knowing his turmoil was a ticking time bomb, ready to go off as soon as Hen figured out the right question to get it out him.
“Are you and Buck okay?” Hen asked plainly, having picked up on the tension today.
“Yeah we’re fine,” Eddie answered, he wasn’t lying things between them were fine but they weren’t the same fine that they were a week ago.
“What’s happened,” Hen asked, glancing over her glasses with a knowing look.
“You can’t tell anyone yet,” Eddie stated knowing he was about to immediately fold from one eyebrow raise, “I asked Buck to marry me,” he stated having not learned from his conversation with Chris that he should lead with context.
Hen coughed out a surprised “wow okay,” before taking a few deep breaths to recentre herself for a normal conversation.
“It’s just for Theo,” Eddie rushed out, “to help Buck adopt him, showing Deidra it’s a 2 parent family,” he explained.
“So you’re getting pretend married?” Hen asked quizzically.
“Yeah, well real married on paper but it’s not like we’re going to be husband and w-well you know,” Eddie replied feeling like he was being repeatedly punched in the gut, “do you think it’s weird?” he asked, seeing shock still settled into Hen’s face.
“Do you?” Hen asked in response watching Eddie’s mouth open as if to answer before softly shutting it again, taking this as a sign to continue she said, “because in all honesty the two of you have always been a little weird but it’s fine because it’s your normal.”
“So you think it’s normal for two friends to get married?,” Eddie asked.
“Again you’re asking these questions broadly, but there’s a lot of subtext between you and Buck and a lot of things that would be abnormal for most friends is just a thursday for you guys,” Hen replied getting a nervous chuckle out of Eddie, “So long as your both happy to do it I don’t see a problem with you getting married - especially if it’ll help give Theo a home,” Hen reassured rubbing a hand gently across Eddie’s shoulder blades.
“I just want them to be happy,” Eddie pushed out just shy of a whimper, “I want to give that to them,” he added, turning to look at Hen.
“You already have, more than you realise,” Hen commented with a soft smile, “are you okay with it?” she asked softly looking behind the walls Eddie puts up in a way only she can.
“Hen,” Eddie whispered thinking back to his dream, now having the time to wade through the waters of his want, “it’ll be fine,” he continued.
“It’s okay if it’s not, it's not nothing to go from being just friends with someone to marrying them, even more so when it’s a man,” Hen commented softly looking intently at Eddie ready to back down at any moment if it seemed like it was too much. But it wasn’t, it was what Eddie needed her to say to him, it was the big thing he avoided letting himself think about up to this point. He was going to marry a man.
“I know but it’s not real, we know that.” Eddie justified, “It’s just a piece of paper that’s going to help Theo stay with Buck. That’s all we're doing,” he continued pulling himself to his feet signalling that he’s ready for the conversation to be over.
“Then you’re doing the right thing, just remember I’m here if you need to talk about anything,” Hen commented finally approaching her locker as Eddie proceeded towards the exit.
“Thanks Hen,” he added with a quick wave before heading out to the truck - Buck’s truck. Buck truck that smells like him and has tiny Spider-Man stickers on the dash that Theo’s given to Buck or Eddie whilst they’re driving. Buck’s truck that Eddie is trusted to drive.
It’s domesticity.
Which has never come easy to Eddie before, but right now feels easier than breathing - the idea of marrying Shannon was terrifying, but marrying Buck? It somehow felt like the thing their whole friendship had been leading to and no matter what anxieties crept into Eddie’s mind it never turned to true fear.
Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for Buck who was across town convincing Chimney to keep up his tea party with the kids without revealing why so he had a moment alone with Maddie.
“Buck what’s wrong?” Maddie insisted the moment the door shut behind her.
“Eddie said something the other night and I said yes and now I’m scared we’re making a big mistake,” Buck monologued, “and I know he wouldn’t have said it unless he meant it but I feel like he’s going to change his mind 3 months from now and we’ll be stuck in this bad place and everything will crumble Maddie - I can’t lose this” he added flopping back across her bed.
“Oh Evan,” Maddie spoke softly as she took a seat beside Buck on the bed, “it’s going to be alright,” she continued, placing a gentle hand on his knee.
“I haven’t even told you what he said yet,” Buck complained, flopping both hands over his face in an exasperated sigh.
“I can guess,” Maddie replied not with any smugness, just an understanding.
“No believe me I don’t think you can,” Buck insisted.
“Are you already forgetting our little chat whilst Eddie was in Texas?” Maddie asked with a mildly teasing tone that made Buck sit up.
“It’s worse than that,” Buck stated looking at his sister with a pleading in his eyes because even if it wouldn’t have been easier to handle if Eddie had stood in his kitchen and declared his undying love to Buck but it would’ve been more digestible. It would’ve been something tangible they could learn from and work with. Instead he has to now explain to his sister that he’s engaged to a straight man to defraud the government.
He’s going to jail for not being able to say no to his best friend's big brown doe eyes. That’s just what he needs.
“Okay, look Evan whatever happened it’s Eddie. I don’t know a force on this earth strong enough to split the two of you apart for good,” Maddie reassured despite her own anxiety growing at what bomb Eddie could’ve dropped to have Buck feeling this way.
“Not even a divorce lawyer,” Buck mumbled as he flopped himself back down onto the bed, keen to avoid his sister's face as she put the pieces together.
“Divorce lawyer?” Maddie questioned quietly, “Is Eddie getting married?” she asked, turning back to see Buck once again hiding under his hands.
“Yes,” Buck mumbled through his fingers.
“You never said he was seeing someone, who is he marrying?” Maddie asked with a million thoughts racing through her mind at this revelation. Buck propped himself up on his elbows to be able to look square at his sister for his answer.
“Me,” he answered.
“EVAN!” Maddie exclaimed in shock
“Hey please keep it down,” Buck pleaded as he sat up, following as Maddie stood and retreated from the bed.
“I’m sorry, do you know the news you just told me,” Maddie paced back and forth running a hand through her hair, “my little brother is getting married to his best friend,” she broke, tears started to fall immediately as she tried to push them away with the pads of her thumbs.
“It’s not like that,” Buck attempted to explain, earning only a glare from Maddie through her wet eyes.
“Do you have a definition of marriage that’s different to mine?” She asked.
“No but it’s not the same.” Buck retaliated, “We’re doing it for Theo. I’ll have a better shot at adopting him if I’ve got a partner.”
“So you’re getting married,” Maddie stated, recapping the conversation to ensure she heard him right.
“Yes, on paper. In life we’ll just be us as normal,” Buck explained nervously.
“Do you need to be married for this to work? Couldn’t you just pretend to be dating?” Maddie asked knowing with her brother sometimes it’s better to dip your toe into the crazy than try and coax him out of it from dry land.
“This is more believable,” Buck answered, getting a disapproving look, “plus it shows I can commit to someone which is an underlying theme of adoption,” he added as if this was just a normal step anyone took to adopt a child. Maddie looked at him with a softness, she remembered how sad he was at the hospital after the car accident watching and she knows how much it will destroy Buck if Theo becomes another person he’s lost from his life. A smile creeps onto her face that breaks into a laugh.
“You know we can never tell mom and dad about this right,” he laughed out, retaking her seat on the bed.
“Can you imagine,” Buck’s laugh came out as more of a scoff, “You and Chris are the only people who know so far,” he added.
“Are you planning on keeping it a secret forever?” Maddie asked.
“No, we’re keeping it to ourselves until it’s happened and then we’ll let the 118 and Athena know after that and it can be a secret from everyone else,” he explained, “I needed to tell you in advance because we want you to be our witness when we go to the courthouse,” Buck added.
“Really?” Maddie asked, the tears returning to her eyes.
“Might be the only wedding I have so I couldn’t do it without my sister there,” Buck smiled and held up his pinky, Maddie linked hers in response and held it tight.
“You’re going to be okay Buck,” Maddie reassured. Buck smiled, not sure if she’s right but feeling willing to hope for it. He stayed for dinner staving off any probing questions from Chimney about what their ‘Secret Buckley Chat’ was about. It wasn’t until the following afternoon that any marriage discussions resumed.
Eddie came over with Chris, the kids were outside enjoying the sun whilst Buck and Eddie found themselves in Buck’s kitchen snacking on freshly baked cookies.
“So I called the court house,” Buck commented as he searched through the notes on his phone for the details he took down, “the only time they had before Deidra’s next visit and whilst we’re not on shift is Saturday, I booked us in for it but if it’s not suitable we can rearrange and just tell Deidra we’re engaged” he rambled.
“This Saturday?” Eddie asked quietly.
“Yeah, you didn’t have anything on the shared calendar so figured you’d be free.” Buck explained.
“Yeah, I’m free. Nothing on, let’s get this out the way,” Eddie chuckled weakly.
“Ever the romantic Eds,” Buck laughed in response.
“I can be romantic,” Eddie defended, stuffing his hand into his pocket and pulling out 2 simple silver bands, “I got these for us,” he added softly holding out the 2 rings in his outstretched hand.
“You know I was joking when I complained about you not giving me a ring,” Buck reassured.
“I know. But if we’re going to be married we should look the part,” Eddie said softly trying to ignore how his hand tingled, feeling Buck’s fingers graze it as he grabbed one of the bands.
“I could’ve got my own,” Buck rolled the ring between his fingers trying to avoid Eddie’s gaze.
“I proposed,” Eddie added, “We can’t wear them at work of course but I figured that wasn’t part of the plan anyways,” he continued, eyes fixated on the ring in his friend's hand trying to ignore the weight of the one in his own.
“Thank you Eds,” Buck stated finally looking up, allowing their gazes to connect, “not just for the ring but for all this. It’s probably the nicest thing anyone will ever do for me,” he commented.
“You deserve the world,” Eddie replied so quietly Buck would’ve missed it if he wasn’t listening so intently, “it’s my honour if I can give you even a fraction of that,” he added. The room hung silent for a moment after that, a comfortable filling silence. The quiet reassurance both men needed that getting married would not destroy anything. It was only broken by the sound of thundering toddler feet and the clack of the teenagers crutches.
“What’s for lunch?” Theo questioned as he made grabby hands at Eddie who replied dutifully, tucking the ring back into his pocket and swooping the young boy into his arms leaving the answer up to Buck who was similarly fumbling to put his own ring away.
“Who wants some sandwiches,” Buck asked with a smile, his chest blooming with a warmth he never knew possible. The scene in his kitchen was one of a family - a real family. Nothing like what he was raised in, it was one where there was undeniable love and a want to be together. This was the life he wanted for Theo, and there was a deep part of his soul that wanted it for himself to. Agreeing to marry Eddie was the best bad decision he has ever made.
The days passed and they’d managed to keep it to themselves, and before they knew it they’d reached Friday. Buck had arranged for Theo to sleepover with Maddie and Chim so he’d asked Ravi out to a bar. The drinks were flowing and the conversation bloomed until they’d both had enough to drink to get into the real questions.
“Why are we here?” Ravi asked, sliding back into the booth opposite Buck and laying his drink down on a loose napkin.
“To have some drinks,” Buck quipped with a faux confused brow, “let’s have some fun Ravs,” he continued.
“Why me?” Ravi questioned with confusion thick in his voice.
“You’re my friend,” Buck replied.
“I just remember this going badly for you last time it was just us,” Ravi joked.
“Because you thought it would be a good idea to pawn me off on my ex boyfriend,” Buck reminded him.
“It shut you up about Eddie didn’t it,” Ravi scoffed as he took a long drag of his drink.
“Oh if anything I think I ended up talking about him more than ever before,” Buck replied with a touch too much honesty, “that’s why we didn’t get back together,” he added, running his finger around the rim of his glass.
“Because you were talking about Eddie?” Ravi asked, leaning in closer.
“Just his existence,” Buck replied, eyes trained to the table, “he thought I was going to leave him for Eddie some day,” he added.
“Look you and Eddie are a touch too close sometimes but it’s unfair of Tommy to blame you for his own insecurities,” Ravi mused far too eloquently for the amount of cocktails he’s had, “you’re better without him - happier, sorry for putting you in that situation” he apologised.
“It’s fine, it was good to get the closure I suppose. When we broke up he said it was because I’d break his heart some day. Guess it was good to know I didn’t do anything to make him feel that way. He was just always going to be jealous of Eddie.” Buck slurred.
“If he hadn’t ended things and instead asked you to stop being friends with Eddie to stay with him would you have done that?” Ravi asked, causing Buck's eyes to snap up to him.
“No,” Buck stated definitively, not even taking a moment to consider the question at hand, “there’d be no competition,” he added, hearing Tommy’s voice in the back of his mind as the last word hit his mouth. Eddie was never the competition, he was a forest fire - the underlying constant in his life. Tommy was a moment, a spark that uncovered a part of Buck’s identity - but sparks burn out, whereas a forest can burn forever. He knows now on the eve of signing a document linking his best friend to him for the rest of his life that he made the right choice. He couldn’t picture raising Theo with Tommy, he doubts he could’ve convinced him as far as fostering. His future is laid out in front of him now. Theo, Eddie, and Chris. A family. His family.
The conversation between Buck and Ravi became more and more slurred after Buck’s first suggestion of shots. The night passed by and just past 1:30am Buck got a text.
Eddie: Hey
Buck: HIIIIII EDFIE
Eddie: Are you drunk?
Buck: WHat makess you sy tat
Eddie: Just a suspicion
You remember we have a big day today?
Buck: OBVIOUSLY
Im on m bachlor pary
Eddie: With who?
Buck: Raviiiii
He doensly know im geting married
WERE GETTND MARDDIED 🥹
Eddie: Yes Buck we are
And I need you sober for that
Are you heading home soon?
Buck: It’s my lasy nigh as afree man
Need to PARTY
Eddie: You need some sleep, do you want me to pick you up?
Buck: it’s bdad louck to see each othe befor th wedding
Eddie: It’ll be fine Buck, stay at the bar I’m going to pick you up
I’ll be 15 minutes
Buck: ou dont kno wherrrrr i am
Eddie: You have your location on Buck
Buck: Ill turn it of
Eddie: I’ll still find you, I always do
Buck: I know
Ill wait for you
Eddie: See you soon
“Eddie’s picking me up” Buck slurred at Ravi.
“Oh shoot, can he take me home too,” Ravi asked louder than necessary, “I don’t want to pay uber prices at this time of night,” he added.
Buck: Cann yu take Ravi hme to?
Eddie: Siri, Siri. Send- ugh this fucking - Siri, send message to Buck (Work). Sure thing but if he throws up I’m leaving him on the freeway.
Buck and Ravi stumbled their way out of the bar to the sidewalk and Eddie pulled up not 5 minutes later.
“EDDDDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Buck screeched into the night throwing himself onto the passenger seat, “do you want me to drive” he asked knowing the displeasure Eddie has behind the wheel.
“You’re drunk Buck, you're not driving my truck” Eddie replied watching Ravi climb into the back of the car.
“Thank you Eddie,” Ravi slurred after his fourth attempt to plug his seatbelt in.
“Ravi,” Buck called out behind him to Ravi, “where do you live?”.
“Wait yeah where do you live?” Eddie asked, “you’ve never invited us round”. No response was heard
“Ravi?” Buck asked, twisting his body across the centre console to look back at Ravi leaning back against Eddie’s shoulder, “he’s asleep,” he added, trying to reach back and shake their friend whilst jostling Eddie in the process.
“Buck sit up,” Eddie asked softly, pushing him back over to his side of the car with a fond smile, “Can he crash at your place?” he asked.
“Mi casa, Ravi casa” Buck giggled with a proud smile looking over at Eddie.
“We’ll work on your Spanish some day,” Eddie laughed back in response, “Especially if you’re taking my last name,” he whispered cautiously that any of LA’s potholes could wake up the sleeping man in the back of the truck. This had come up in the many many conversations they’ve had this past week. They chose to hyphenate - to make themselves look like a united front of course - the decision was not at all influenced by the glow they both felt at the thought of carrying the other with them through their surname everyday.
“Evan Buckley-Diaz,” Buck whispered to himself, handling each syllable so delicately as it could shatter at any time. That warmth held them through the rest of the drive and was only gone once Eddie opened the driver side door outside Buck’s house letting the bitter night air in.
“Think you can carry him?” Eddie asked, tilting his head towards the backseat.
“Yeah, can you get the front door,” Buck asked as he unclipped their sleeping teammate as he had done with Chris many times over the years. Buck steadied his feet still feeling the effects of the alcohol in his system before extracting Ravi from the vehicle and lifting him over his shoulder. Buck butt bumped the door shut and carried the somehow still sleeping man up his path and through the door Eddie held open for them before dropping Ravi down onto the couch.
“He might be dead,” Eddie joked as they looked down on their near comatose friend,
“I can’t have killed Ravi, people will think it’s on purpose. I can’t go to jail Eddie,” Buck whined.
“You haven’t killed him,” Eddie laughed, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder beside him, “let him sleep it off, get him in an uber when he wakes up.” he added, not moving his hand as Buck pivoted under it to face him.
“And then we’re getting married,” Buck said softly with a happiness in his eyes that will stay with Eddie forever.
“And then we’re getting married,” Eddie repeated rubbing his thumb across Buck’s collarbone before pulling him into a hug, “I’ll see you downtown,” he mumbled against that same spot the the top of Buck’s chest.
“See you there,” Buck replied as he watched Eddie leave, hearing the turn of the lock from the other side as he stumbled to his own bed passing out as soon as curls hit silk knowing he would wake up to one of the best days of his life.
Buck heard 3 loud thumps at his front door before he was pulled from his slumber, his eyes caught sight of the bright red numbers on his bedside 10:42 - he’s overslept. Maddie was coming over at 10:30 and Buck needed to be fed and washed by then.
“Ravi?” a voice queried down the hall - Maddie, she’d let herself in.
“Maddie?!” Ravi replied equally as confused. Buck jumped out of bed and hurried down the hall keen to intercept the conversation before anything could have the chance to be revealed.
“Good morning,” Buck welcomed weekly, “Ravi here had a bit too much to drink last night and passed out in Eddie’s truck so we had to bring him here to sleep it off” Buck explained hoping Maddie would keep quiet about why she was here.
“Oh I forgot Eddie picked us up, guess that’s why he was in my dream,” Ravi mumbled alongside a stretch as he got up from the couch, “It was really weird - you two were getting married?” he laughed out before realising no one else seemed to find this funny.
“Yeah that’s pretty weird to dream about Ravs, you should keep that to yourself,” Buck replied sternly.
“Right yeah, okay. I’m going to leave now - thank you for the couch,” Ravi said, fumbling with his phone to book an uber on his way out.
“Bye Ravi,” Buck and Maddie called out behind him.
“So is Eddie here?” Maddie asked.
“No? He’s at his house. Him and Chris are making their own way there,” Buck explained with a hint of confusion, “That’s the plan”.
“I know, you just mentioned he picked you up last night so I wasn’t sure if he… stayed the night,” Maddie suggested less than innocently.
“Oh Mads, it’s not like we’re actually together you know this,” Buck responded with a disapproving look.
“Just thought it’d explain why you’re not more ready by now,” Maddie teased.
“I overslept because my Bachelor party got out of hand,” Buck quipped back.
“Well you have form for that,” Maddie chuckled, “I didn’t realise you were having one,” she said softly.
“Neither did Ravi,” Buck chuckled, “Just trying to have the full experience,” he added earnestly.
“Today means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Maddie asked quietly with a knowing smile.
“Yeah I mean I know it’s not real but it’s still kinda real right? It’s still Eddie committing to me being present in his life for however long we shall live. No one’s ever wanted that from me before except you but you’re my sister so you’re stuck with me regardless. Eddie can leave, he did, but he came back and now he’s making a promise to always come back and it means something to me, is that crazy?” Buck monologued with exaggerated gestures.
“It’s not crazy Buck, Eddie’s your person and now you’ll have a piece of paper that states that so you can wave it in front of social services and doctors and whoever you need to for them to understand your relationship is something more than just work friends.” Maddie responded sweetly, “I’m so happy for you Evan,” she added pulling her brother into an embrace, “Now go and get in the shower if you don't want to keep your groom waiting,” she pushed Buck down the hall directing him to the bathroom. Buck got washed and dressed in record time with Maddie preparing him a tupperware pot of pastries for the drive downtown. They were in Buck’s truck when he started to spiral.
“What if he’s not there?” Buck asked with a mouthful of crumbs.
“He’ll be there, Buck,” Maddie promised.
“You don’t know that, what if he realises this is stupid,” Buck whined.
“It’s not stupid, and I’ve got Chris sending me live Eddie updates,” Maddie explained, “he says they’re on the way now - ETA 5 minutes,” she added.
“Okay we’re about 7 minutes out,” Buck guestimated, “let Chris know,” he added alongside another bite of croissant.
“Already done it,” Maddie chirped, “Today’s going to go well Buck” she commented. They pulled up outside the courts 12 minutes later - cursed LA traffic. Eddie and Chris were waiting outside both in suits. Buck felt his heart stop. This was really happening. His eyes never left Eddie so he noticed the way Eddie lit up from within seeing Buck step out the car in his matching LAFD commissioned suit.
“Hey,” Buck said quietly as he approached the Diaz boys.
“Hey,” Eddie replied back just as gently.
“Thank you for being here,” Buck stated as he pulled Chris into a hug.
“I’ve already been to one of Dad’s weddings, might as well make it two,” Chris joked, gaining a hearty laugh from Buck that settled any nerves he had walking into this meeting.
“That is not funny,” Eddie replied, trying his best to sound serious through the smile pulling at his lip.
“Yeah not funny,” Buck tried to give Eddie back up but the giggles escaping him between each word made the attempt futile.
“Are you boys ready to go inside?” Maddie asked, catching up behind them taking in the sight before her.
“Let’s get married,” Eddie remarked softly, holding out an upturned hand in front of Buck.
“Let’s get married,” Buck replied, interlacing his fingers with Eddie’s feeling like two puzzle pieces from different boxes that just so happened to have inverse groves and corners that interlock into a complete picture. Buck was sure as they walked towards the doors nothing would ever feel more right than marrying Eddie Diaz.