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Alexis didn't ask for much from her father, even though she knew for a fact he was willing to shell out for whatever her heart desired. When she was five, she asked for a canoe just to see what would happen, and he showed up the next day apologetic that all he could find was a kayak. She didn't abuse her father's generosity, except for one time. She lay in the middle of her enormous bed, the thick blankets piled on top of her, the mattress soft as a cloud underneath her. She smiled as she rolled in the sheets; she loved the bed, loved to get lost in the sheets and blankets, and pressed her face into the pillow.
She let him buy her the biggest, most decadent, most impractical bed she could find. When she had sleepovers, she could fit herself, Paige, and two other girls in the bed without a problem. But she preferred when she was alone.
Of course, tonight, she was reluctantly alone. She heard footsteps in the hall and looked toward her closed bedroom door. Usually it was Grandma walking back and forth, but not tonight. She pushed the covers back and crawled out of bed, hurrying to the door and opening it as slowly as possible.
The hall was lit from below, casting a weak yellow light against the side wall. Alexis peeked her head out and looked toward the bathroom.
Kate Beckett was moving slowly toward the bathroom, a towel draped over one arm and a small plastic bag hanging from her fingers. She was dressed in an oversized purple T-shirt, the collar of which was stretched enough to reveal a bra strap. If Beckett had been wearing a bra. When the detective reached the bathroom, Alexis ducked back into her bedroom and shut the door. She moved silently to the bed and slipped under the covers.
When her father first started shadowing Detective Beckett, Alexis was intrigued by the idea of her. A woman as the head detective in a New York City Police Department. That was kind of amazing, but then she actually met her. She was gorgeous. Alexis had never really applied that word to a woman before, but Beckett deserved it. And then, to her shock, they actually became friends.
That's when it started. Those weird dreams, those fantasies where she would go to find her Dad at the police station, but Beckett was there alone. "Come on," Beckett would say as she stood up and put on her jacket, "I'll give you a ride home." The car ride would take up most of the dream, the awkward time alone in the darkness with Kate (she called her Kate in the dreams, at the detective's insistence), and then the moment when they parked in front of their building and Alexis couldn't quite bring herself to leave.
The dream never went anywhere. At least not yet. Alexis always woke up eager and excited, but unsure what to do about it other than the obvious. And now, part of the dream was coming true. She was sort of alone with Beckett in a dark space, and Beckett was... down the hall. Naked and wet in the shower.
Alexis hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her pajama pants and, after staring at the ceiling for a moment, she pushed the pants down her legs.
#
Kate let the water wash over her face, slicking back her hair as she stood still in the middle of the shower. Castle's shower, she thought. Lainie would be apoplectic. She pushed her hair out of her face and turned, letting the water hit her neck before sliding down her body. It was her second shower of the night, but she had to get that grimy feel of ash off her skin. When her hair fell in her face, she could smell the smoke captured in it and she wanted that gone. Even if it meant smelling like Castle for a few days, she had to scrub everything away.
After a long, searing soak, she scanned the products lining the shelf that was built at eye-level. She realized that either this was Alexis' bathroom, or Castle had slightly more feminine tastes than she suspected. The bottles were all pink or green and, when she smelled one at random, actually smelled pretty good. Thank God for small favors, she thought as she poured a dollop onto her palm and worked the lather into her hair.
As she rinsed, she saw the curve of the bathtub and the way the curtain draped over it. She remembered Castle shouting at her that the killer wasn't dead. She remembered the dash down the hall, longer than it had ever seemed, and she remembered diving at the tub. There was a blank spot between the dive and Castle discovering her there; she didn't want to remember what filled it. She realized she was trembling and clasped her hands behind her neck to keep them still.
She was alive. She had survived, and the bastard was going to pay for not being able to tell fiction from reality.
Kate leaned against the wall. The water washed down the front of her body and she focused on the warmth of it. The stream excited her nipples and they hardened, further proof that she was alive. She wet her fingers in the spray, watching the water run along her fingers and then drip from her wrist. She ran one hand down her stomach, closed her eyes, and parted her legs as she touched herself.
There was a shock of pleasure, and she gasped. She was alive. She circled her clit with wet fingers, drawing it from the hood and stroking with two fingertips. She was alive.
#
Alexis wasn't even sure how it would be to have sex with a woman. The mechanics of it, she understood. But could she do that? Her fantasies had always been of men. Well, boys. And when she did fantasize about Detective Beckett, her thoughts never ventured past kissing. Or maybe unbuttoning Beckett's shirt to touch her breasts...
Alexis sucked in a breath through her teeth as she closed her thighs around her hand.
#
A little voice at the back of Kate's head had been pushing her for this. For the undeniable proof that she had survived that bombing. She ignored it because the voice was Lanie, telling her that she should go downstairs, push everything off Castle's desk, and climb on top with her legs spread. No way, no how. This was an acceptable alternative. She curled two fingers inside of herself, the fingers of her other hand running down her throat to her breast.
Kate switched hands, sucking the two that had been inside of her into her mouth. She moaned, her eyes closed, and hoped the walls of Castle's apartment were thick. If he was downstairs listening while she masturbated...
Her body jerked at that thought, the sensation shocking her as she pulled her hand away from her suddenly too-sensitive flesh.
#
Alexis admitted several things to herself as she lay sprawled under the blankets, her hand still between her legs and her pajama pants still down around her calves. She wanted to kiss Detective Beckett. She wanted to unbutton Detective Beckett's shirt to see what another woman's breast felt like in her hand. And she wanted Detective Beckett to show her what happened next.
#
Kate dried off slowly, letting her hair hang loose after she combed it. She put her oversized T-shirt back on, applied the goop that supposedly helped her pores, and carried her things out of the bathroom.
She was almost to her door when Alexis' bedroom door opened and the girl stepped out. She took one step before she realized the hallway wasn't empty and then recoiled like a deer in the headlights. Kate smiled apologetically and spoke in a low whisper. "Hey. Sorry. I hope I didn't wake you."
"Nuh, no... uh-uh. It's okay..."
Kate was suddenly very aware that she was naked under her T-shirt. Alexis wore pink pajamas, her hair a mess, and Kate stepped to one side of the hall and said, "Bathroom's all yours."
"Thanks," Alexis said, and she moved slowly past Kate. She paused and said, "Did you use my shampoo?"
"Yeah. Sorry, I didn't--"
"No, it's okay. It smells good."
Kate smiled. "Probably better than whatever your Dad has."
"Don't be so sure," Alexis said.
Kate pictured Castle's coif and laughed. "You know, you may have a point there." She held up her hand and said, "Goodnight, Alexis."
"Night... Kate. Sorry. Detecti--"
"Oh, please," she said. "Kate's fine."
Alexis beamed.
They both turned and walked their separate ways down the hall. Alexis stopped at the bathroom door and turned back to find Kate was watching her. She tried to tell her heart to calm down, but it didn't listen. Kate smiled and disappeared into the room Alexis' grandmother had just vacated. Alexis pressed her lips together and closed the bathroom door behind herself.