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English
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Published:
2026-04-21
Completed:
2026-05-12
Words:
32,830
Chapters:
7/7
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51
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153
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Perderme (I might lose myself in you)

Summary:

When 28 year old Mike Wheeler finds out Will Byers will become one of his clients, and proposes an opportunity of a life time, he soon realizes, he won't be able to resist himself.

And maybe neither one of them wants him too

Notes:

Hey guys. I don't actually know if anyone will read this, but I hope so. this is my first time writing on here so, like, don't judge. also im not quite sure how many chapters this will be, I have to many ideas. this book does involve client/therapist relationship, and mike is slightly older than will, so if you don't like those things then instead of hating, why don't we just.....not read.... other than that, its your typical lawless byler fic. anyways thank you for readingggggg.

also title from, Perderme, by Miguel.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I've gone to far, I couldn't help myself

Chapter Text

Mike never understood why exactly he chose to be a therapist. Maybe something to do with the trauma he endured as a child from watching his own mother and father fight through their issues. All he knew is he wanted to help people in the way he wished his parents got help.

When you’re born in a small town such as Hawkins, Indiana, and your family is relatively known, you're expected to uphold the picture perfect expectation. However that was never the reality. Truth be told, his mother was an alcoholic, his father was an absentee homophobic cheater. Mike had two siblings. Holly, and Nancy. Nancy knew she needed to get out of that house, so when the opportunity came, she took it. Unfortunately for Mike, he was stuck in that hell hole for another 4 years. But when his time came, you can be sure he bolted like hell out of there.

Now he is a 28 year old adult. With an apartment in East village New York, with magnets, plants, and even a cat named Poppy. A fully functional adult man. Almost fully functional.

See, mike had a—issue. He was unbearably horny all the fucking time.

Since coming out as a bisexual man, he's had a bit of trouble in finding a romantic partner. However, he's dabbled with a few people here and there, and went on a few dates.

A woman first. Amber. She was nice. A pretty blonde mike was found while in a coffee shop. They hit it off quite well, however Mike didn't quite see anything extraordinary in her.

Then there was the instructor from his gym class, Kris. He heavily flirted with Mike while spotting him at the bench press. Mike had actually liked him quite a bit. But Kris was one of those people who believed in a deeper connection with someone before sex. Mike, simply was not.

Aside from them was a much longer list of failed attempts to amp up Mike's sex life. He was certain he was a lost cause.

Now, don't be mistaken. Mike was certainly Not a virgin. In his college days, he was extremely popular with the crowd, had pleased many women, and men, often leaving them crawling back to him. But at some point of his life, things just—slowed down. Tremdislouly. Tragically. Mike was only a man at the end of the day. A sad, lonely, horny, man, with needs.

Now Mike was driving home from work. Simple day. Only 3 clients. A little girl struggling with post traumatic trauma from an abusive father. Mike felt empathetic for her.

His second client was a newly married couple. The husband found out the wife lied about being fertile, and wanted a divorce, the wife wanted to work it out. Mike honestly could care less.
His last client, If thats would you even call it, was an extremely boring case.. An older couple, who wanted help spicing up their sex lives. Mike had to explain multiple times for about 10 minutes that that was not what he specialized in and they’d had to seek another specialist.

so that pretty much sums up Mike's boring day in his boring life.

He watched the trees blur into view as he drove, trying to decide whether he wanted Thai for dinner, or Mexican.

He decided on Thai. It was always Thai.

So he parallel parked in between into the small lot, grabbed his wallet, and walked into the small thai restaurant five minutes from his house. The restaurant was fairly empty aside from two guys whose faces he couldn't see, standing in front of the drink refrigerator he briefly glanced at their backs as he made his way to the front counter. He ordered his usually creamy coconut chicken soup, paid, and stood to the side to wait for his order. Nose deep in his phone he hadn't noticed the bicker coming from the drink fridge.

“Oh my god, Carlton please for the last time i didnt fucking flirt with him—for fucks sake.”

A soft manly voice was heard. Mike lifted his head from his phone. Slightly glancing up. That's when he saw a face; a beautiful, no scratch that, stunning boy. Brown hair, parted down the middle. Strong muscular build, broad shoulders, and strong calves. Mike's jaw basically hit the goddamn floor. He was single handedly the most gorgeous, sexiest man Mike had ever seen.

“Will i fucking heard you. And don’t try to gaslight me. I saw the way you were fucking looking at him!”

 

Will

 

Mike wasn't allowed to hear much more of the conversation, giving that an order was called that apparently was the twos.

They abruptly stopped talking. Mike stood up straight instead of slouching on the wall. as he watched Will walk up to the counter, eyes tracing him. But as Will walked, Mike watched his phone slip from his hand as he stepped. Will cursed as he quickly bent down to pick it up, but Mike was quicker, closer, and more determined. He reached for it and grabbed it. He watched Will reach for the open space on the ground grabbing what mike already took.

By the time Will had realized his phone was no longer on the ground, Mike was already starting to stand straight.

“Hey.” Mike said. Holding Will's phone out between his fingers.

Will looked up and locked eyes with Mike. His face went blank, as he stared, still bending on one knee, looking up at Mike.

They held their contact for another brief two seconds, yet it felt like an eternity. Like everything stopped, like time itself was waiting on them to continue.

Like everything finally felt—right.

 

Will finally perked up. He stood roughly three inches under Mike. Mike watched will glared at him with probably the most beautiful greenish hazel eyes he’d ever seen. Mike couldn't help the stir his dick made under the fabric of his slacks. Maybe because it had been so long since he’d been touched, or the fact that as Will stood up, Mike could smell the lingering faint smell of vanilla mixed with salt and sweat waft in his face. He must've just come from the gym. He smelt heavenly.

Mike felt the tingles in his hand as Will brushed against it as he grabbed his phone. Mike could have fainted right there. Will looked up at him again and flashed a small little to no teeth smile.

Mike was sure he was about to faint.

“Thanks—” Will said. “Mike” Mike could only assume Will was looking for his name to properly show gratitude to him.

“Oh! ok , thank you—Mike” Will smiled. MIke only nodded his head, afraid if he said any more, and smiled like that again, that he would combust on the spot. Heavy on the bust part.

Will stood there for another second, before the most annoying irritating voice Mike had ever heard, started shouting from behind them.

“Will, Common! Grab the food!” it said. Mike looked back at the voice. The sound seemed to be coming from that very short and stubby man, with terrible hair. Mike felt repulsed at even looking at him. How could such a disgraceful person talk to such an angel like that. Will flashed Mike a smile again before walking towards the counter, grabbing his bag of food, and storming back towards the Man.

Mike watched them walk out, hearing the soft jingle the door made. He kept staring at the door, until his name was called.

 

Later that night, after Mike had already eaten, showered, and had his nightly cup of tea. He decided it was time to do a little digging.

 

Since returning from the Thai restaurant, Mike was unable to shake a certain someone from his brain. Will. As Mike ate, his mind kept drifting to the interaction. How Will smiled up at him, how their hands brushed against each other. But more specifically, in the shower, Mike let his mind wonder how Will looked as he stared up at him from his knees.

Now you mustn't judge MIke. As said before, he's only a man. A very pent up man. At this point, he’ll take release wherever he can get it. He didn't hesitate to jerk himself off while thinking of that scenario with will on his knees going a bit—diffrently.

 

Now he was in bed. Poppy sleeping on his feet, with his laptop open on his lap. Now his original plan was to browse for new office decor, and check his client list for the following week. However, he was still unable to shake will. Mike knew the chances of seeing Will again were extremely close to none. But he still had hope given he met him five minutes from his house. What are the chances Will traveled out of town just for a Thai restaurant in East village? So what was his only option?

To search Will on social media of course.

So that's exactly what he did.

He started on facebook. Unfortunately for Mike, he didn't have a last name, only a first, so this would make things a lot harder. So he narrowed his options.

“Will, East village, New York” Mike whispered to himself while typing into the search. Multiple options came up. Many older men who definitely were not will. A few no profile pictured accounts, but mostly older men who definitely were Not will.

Mike kept scrolling for what seemed like ages. Poppy had shifted her position on his feet, still peacefully sleeping. Mike himself began to drift. Eyes slowly fluttering—Unitl, something caught his eye as he was about to scroll past it. Profile picture that certainly looked like it could be Will.

The picture was of a man, at what looked like a house party—or club. He had brown hair, and rosy cheeks holding a sparkler in his mouth. He looked like he was glowing from Mike's eyes, and most importantly—-it was him.

Undeniably will. Will Byers

Mike was fully awake now. He bolted up, disturbing Poppy, who also shot up and looked at him. “Sorry poppy.” he whispered to her, but he had more important things to focus on.

Mike clicked on the profile. The banner behind the profile picture was a photo of Will drinking a beverage at a coffee shop, with a brunette girl on his right, and a red headed girl on his left. All of them smiling at the camera. As he scrolled he saw various photos of Will living his daily life. Mike couldn't help but smile at this. He seemed happy. Mike's smile was quickly wiped from his face, because he scrolled upon a photo of the disturbingly gross excuse for a man, and a very gorgeous looking Will wearing a red shirt with a yellow jacket on top, side hugging behind a wall. Not just any wall though. Mike knew that wall very well. It was the wall of a very popular bar Lucas had dragged him to. Will had in fact lived in East Village.

While looking at the photo, Mike's eyes rolled so hard they hurt. They were clearly dating, and Mike did not like this. This seemed unnatural to him. No way a beautiful creature such as Will would settle for someone like—Whoever that is in the picture. Infact, eager to find out, Mike read the caption under the photo.

 

“Thanks for an amazing night. Love you babe.”

Mike was physically disgusted. He looked at the tagged account at the top of the photo.

“@Carlton_willingham”

Mike recoiled. “Carlton? What kind of stupid ass name is Carlton?” Mike spat. Rolling his eyes again. He clicked on the account. Carlton's profile was as bland and boring as his name was. Seriously, how was WIll putting up with such a boring person, when he was such a bright shining star? Mike was no longer interested in Carlton. He decided to go back to Will's page.

 

MIke spent the next ten hours—or maybe 30 minutes scrolling through Will’s account. He found out Will just graduated and majored in studio arts at NYU. Exactly where MIke went years prior to study psychology. Mike soon realized Will had to be a bit younger than Mike. Mike scrolled to the top of the account to look at the bio.

 

Name: William Byers
Status: In A relationship
City: East village New York
BIrthday: March 22nd, 2002

 

Will was only 24. Okay! okay that's not—Terrible. Mike was only—what?—4 years older than him? Shouldn't be a problem—right?

They were both adults. That's all that mattered.

Mike decided that was enough looking at will for the night. He closed his computer. Reached over to turn his bed side lamp off, and laid down into the covers. As he was drifting off to sleep. He thought about Will and Carlton at the Thai restaurant. They were fighting. Mike helped people who fought. But before he could finish that thought, the tiredness had already consumed him.

 

The weekend went by quickly. Too quick for Mike's liking. He hadn't done much. He went to the grocery store and bought milk, coffee pods for his keurig, and some cat litter for Poppy. The rest of the time he spent at home reading, Or watching new episodes of Simpsons.

 

Now it was monday. Mike didn't have to be at work until 12:30, his first client wasn't until 1:15. So now he was sipping his coffee while on the phone with lucus.

“Seriously man,” Lucas’s voice boomed through the microphone. “She might be the one.”

Lucas was blabbing about a girl he met at the park. Explaining how he ran into her, spilling her latte all over her shirt. He explained how she nearly tore his head off. And demanded he buy her a new drink, and shirt.

“How can you know she's the one? I mean you just met her yesterday, Lucas.” Mike asked.

“Because Mike, I can just—feel it, you know?” Mike did know. He felt the same feeling when he saw Will for the first time two days ago. He went silent for a while, until he sighed.

“Well, I mean, do you even know her name? How will you see her again?” Mike finally asked. He was now walking towards his couch and coffee table; suddenly unable to stand after thinking of will.

After discovering Will's facebook account, and finding out he lives nearby, he had thought about him non stop. Returning to the page multiple times throughout the day. He even went as far as going to the same Thai restaurant they had met at. He knew the chances were slim, yet he couldn't resist.

Of course, he hadn't seen will,

“Yes Of course i know her damn name.” He stopped for a second. “Max.” Lucas finished. Mike wasn't as interested in hearing about this as much as he was putting off. But he was a good friend, and he knew had the roles switched, Lucas would be listening to him for hours. So he was going to act as interested as he needed to.

“And she's invited us to hang out at her, and her roommate's house this weekend.”

“Us?” Mike asked. He was not the type to hang out often; since Lucas had already forced him out the house two weeks ago to sing karaoke at some bar, saying he needed to "come out the cave and get some sunlight” which didn't make sense, given it had been night when they went, but whatever, Meant mike was certainly not willing to go out.

“What? No Lucas, I'm not going out again.” Mike said.

“Yes—you are. Mike. It's been two weeks since we've been out—I miss my drinking buddy.” Lucas pleaded.

“Yeah well, if you get too drunk and start confessing your dying love to Max, I'm not stopping you.” Mike teased.

“So you'll come?”

Mike thought about it. It wouldn't be a terrible idea to get out of the house. It would probably help him take his mind off Will. God knows he needs to take his mind off will.

“Yes. yes fine i’ll go.” Mike caved. Lucas practically squealed with joy.

“ Yes! Yes. ok. Good. you won’t regret it!” He said excitedly.

“I probably will. Now leave me alone, I need to get ready for work.”

 

Mike was now walking down the hall to his office. searching his keys to find the right one. The rest of his morning had been pretty smooth. After hanging up with Lucas. He showered, fed poppy, fed himself, then got dressed.

He normally wore fairly casual clothes to work. But today—for some reason he felt like dressing up. So he wore a white dress shirt, with a striped tie tucked into his black waist coat. He wore black slacks with a simple brown belt, and his favorite pair of matte black loafers. He paired it with a black leather strap watch on his wrist. He enjoyed feeling presentable at work. It made him feel very—responsible.

As Mike was unlocking the door to his office, The receptionist, Julie, a short woman, with thick black glasses, and a brown bob that sat just below her ears, called out.

“Mr Wheeler. Good afternoon!” she chirped. Mike always found her nice. The type to bring coffee and donuts for the whole office.

“Hey Julie, good afternoon.” He responded by turning towards her.

“Just wanted to let you know, your third session was moved to Thursday, and replaced by a couples session. New clients.”

 

Huh?

Mike was unaware of this. He understood his Last session today was important. Jeremy, he was celebrating 4 years sober and was looking forward to their session today? Why had he canceled? And who were these new clients? Mike hadn't received any calls about this.

 

“Uhm—okay. Uh—why wasn't informed of this? “Last I checked, Jeremy was excited to come in today, and im obligated to a 5 days notice before receiving new clients”

“Understood Mr Wheeler, however Jeremy called and said an emergency with his mother came up, and he had to go out of town until Thursday.” Julie explained.”As far as your new clients, on the phone, He made it extremely clear they needed to be seen as soon as possible. And since you had a new opening, I just thought I'd put them in. I—I apologize, I hope that was okay?”

Mike untensed. Of course it wasn't her fault. She was just doing her job.

“It's okay Julie, thank you for letting me know, I appreciate it.” Mike said.

“No problem, Mr Wheeler. Let me know if you need anything else!" she said before turning the corner returning to her desk.

The rest of the day went by extremely slowly. Mike was fighting the yawns that threatened to escape.

His first session, a 16 year old boy named Kyle, who had been seeing Mike since he was 13. He struggled with anxiety, Mike saw himself in the boy. Today, however, had been a bad day for Kyle. He explained, he had a panic attack before presenting an assignment to his class. Mike Gave him the best advice he could, while still trying to unpack where the attack came from.

His second session of the day was at 2:45. An online zoom session. A married couple of 4 years. The wife was furious with the husband for cheating while she was six months pregnant with their third child. Obviously, the husband was in the wrong, and if Mike could, he’d ask the husband what kind of fucking man cheats on his pregnant wife, but Mike wanted a job tomorrow, so instead, he did his job and helped them work through it.

 

Now it was 3:16. Mike's next clients, his new clients, were to arrive in the next 30ish minutes. Now he was sitting behind his desk instead of his chair. He's supposed to be sending out check-in emails to his other clients, but his mind is elsewhere. I'm sure you can guess where.

WIll

For the last two days, Mike worried he’d never see Will again. With this worry in his head, he considered friending him on facebook. Maybe they could become close friends. Maybe even best friends. But truthfully, deep down, Mike knew his intentions were more than just to become Will's friend. He quite frankly wanted to tear Will apart.

He hadn't noticed how fast the time had flown. It was 3:32. His clients were to arrive any second.

Well. seconds passed. Then Minutes. It was now 4:06. And Mike was exhausted.

He told himself 10 more minutes and he was gone, technically he could leave right now. Everyone should be gone by now. But He believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Now their 10 minutes were almost up, and Mike was starting to pack up his belongings.

That's when it happened.

The knock on the door.

Disappointed, Mike signed. He secretly hoped they wouldn't come—so he could get home to Will.

Meaning Will’s Digital facebook account.

Mike walked to the door, grabbed the knob, twisted it, and opened.

 

And his world stopped. Like his actual world. His breath caught, eyes widened, and body fully tensed. Because standing right before him was WIll.

Will from the thai restaurant.

Will from facebook.

Will from his late night shower fantasies.

 

Unmistakingly Will.