Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Possibilities
The universe should be legally required to provide at least a little bit of warning before dropping life-altering bombshells. It was just common courtesy.
There was supposed to be suitably dramatic buildup. Foreshadowing, and shit.
It definitely wasn't the sort of thing that was supposed to happen on an otherwise unimportant, uneventful Tuesday afternoon in the parking lot of Arcadia high school.
…
"...and, I mean, the subject itself is obviously super interesting, but fuck if Brown doesn't somehow make it the most boring shit under the sun. How someone can make Manton limits sound dull, I'll never understand-" Victoria complained in Amy's general direction.
Her sister wasn't really listening, but that was okay. Victoria didn't mind.
The sun was shining in the long courtyard between the main two buildings of Arcadia. Victoria pushed through the wide double doors, careful not to bend or shred the metal by accident. She'd already had to pay for one overpriced set so far this year. Highway robbery. The school was totally taking advantage of New Wave's need for good PR.
She and Amy were on their way out earlier than everyone else. Victoria had her dual enrollment class at BBU, and Amy had her 'internship' at the hospital.
As if Amy was actually learning anything, there. She already had the honorary doctorate, on account of being able to fix basically anything that didn't involve mucking around in people's heads.
Amy's power was awesome. Victoria tried not to be jealous. It would be ridiculous to look literal superpowers in the metaphorical mouth.
Besides, flying totally made everything else worth it.
"Hey, V. Do you have a minute?" Dean called across the courtyard.
The Wards were also getting out of class right about now.
Victoria glanced over at him. She honestly hadn't expected him to want to talk so soon.
They'd both agreed that taking a break was for the best. They were both busy. They both had their own shit to figure out, and trying to define their relationship was more trouble than it was worth.
And, as much fun as being with him was, it was just that. Fun.
Dean jerked his head towards the senior parking lot. Guess it was the private kind of conversation, then.
Hopefully he wasn't expecting anything else. Not happening, dude.
"Sure," Victoria paused mid-rant. "I'll be back in a sec, Ames."
"Don't take too long. I don't want to be late because you're busy sucking face in the back seat," Amy drawled.
"I like shotgun better, personally," Victoria shot back.
Amy pretended to gag. Victoria just laughed and followed Dean towards his Audi.
True to her word, she took shotgun.
"So… what's up?" she asked when he slid in the driver's seat. "I thought we were pretty much on the same page about stuff."
"It's not about that. Well, I guess it kinda is, but also not?" Dean rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.
Dating Dean had been good, overall. On paper, they made sense. He understood what it was like to have powers. Talking to him was pretty easy. It didn't hurt that he was hot, with a nice car and more than enough spending money to cover a trip to the mall whenever she wanted a new toy or two.
But she didn't need him.
She'd never admit it out loud, but Victoria wanted to need someone. To need them like she needed air. She wanted to feel the relief and joy every time she saw them. She wanted to wake up in the morning and smile because she got so lucky. She wanted someone who was worth giving up a piece of herself, and she wanted them to need her the same way in return. Anything else just felt like a placeholder. Settling for something because she couldn't have everything.
That everything was worth searching for, and she wasn't going to find it if she was busy 'sucking face' with Dean, as Amy so eloquently put it.
Victoria always got what she wanted, when she set her mind to it.
"Clear as crystal, there," Victoria said. Amy's sarcasm was wearing off on her.
Dean sighed heavily.
"Look, there's no easy way to say this. You know the position my powers put me in. I always see more than people intend, and it isn't fair to judge them based on what they feel. It's what they do that matters. I know that. But I also… You know, like, mandatory reporters, in schools, right? I can't stay quiet if it might be harmful, even if it might be wrong to say anything. I don't know. The point is, I think I need to tell you something sensitive that the 'subject' wouldn't want me to tell you. I really don't know if it's right or wrong, but I feel like doing something is better than doing nothing," Dean rambled.
Damn.
"That's pretty fucking heavy, but… What exactly does that have to do with me?" Victoria asked.
Dean took a deep breath. Whatever this was must actually be pretty serious. He didn't break his usual rules lightly.
"I think Amy's in love with you," Dean said.
Victoria's world screeched from a smooth sixty-five with cruise control on to a dead fucking stop. That one sentence felt like it would've physically knocked the wind out of her, if it could've.
"No. No, that's…" Victoria protested automatically.
"I could be wrong, obviously," Dean said. "There isn't exactly a cut and dry line between different kinds of love. Affection, happiness, excitement, jealousy, attraction… It all gets mixed up so easily. But Amy is… very attracted to you, specifically. It's… pretty obvious. And extremely jealous of me. With a whole lot of self-hatred and exhaustion and depression and a bunch of other worrying stuff on top of that."
Victoria's life was still crumbling underneath her. Every word out of Dean's mouth pulled another Jenga block out of her already precarious tower.
She wanted to deny it. Wanted to tell Dean he was full of shit, or lying, or making a mistake, but…
It didn't feel like a lie. It felt like the missing piece of a puzzle she hadn't even realized she was looking at.
Victoria couldn't help but recontextualize Amy's… everything. The way Amy seemed to constantly pull away and inch closer at the same time. The way she sometimes flinched when Victoria touched her, but always seemed to crave more. The way Amy looked at her, sometimes, when she thought she wasn't looking. The comments Amy made about Dean. Her disinterest in any of the potential partners Victoria suggested. Her willingness to bend and soften when Victoria asked, even though she was a bitch to everyone else.
Amy loves me.
Not just love, in general, but…
My sister's in love with me.
Victoria usually knew what to do. She was the one who took charge. Her decisions might occasionally be a bit questionable, no one ever called her indecisive.
She had no idea what to do, right now.
And, on top of this newfound revelation, Amy was also hurting. Of course she was. Victoria didn't need empath powers to know that.
Amy had been slowly fading for a long time. Victoria thought it was just the hospital, and life in general, but what if it was more than that? If Amy was constantly carrying around this love she was certain was unrequited…
Was it unrequited?
How the fuck was she supposed to even begin to figure that out? She hadn't even considered the possibility until five fucking seconds ago.
Amy was her best friend. Her sister, even if they weren't technically blood related.
That technically was doing a lot of heavy lifting, right about now.
Shit.
Whatever she was going to do, she definitely wasn't going to figure it out sitting in Dean's car.
"Thanks," Victoria said dazedly. "For telling me, I mean. I think I'd rather know, all things considered. You aren't going to tell anyone else, right?"
Dean shook his head immediately.
"No, of course not," Dean said. "I only told you at all because… well, it's Amy. If anyone can figure out how to help her, it's you."
Damn right, it was. She'd always take care of Amy.
"I gotta go, but… Yeah, thanks, again," Victoria said awkwardly.
"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help," Dean replied.
Victoria's laugh definitely had a hysterical edge to it.
Oh, yeah, the best person to help her navigate her feelings for her sister was absolutely her ex-fucking-boyfriend. Total wingman, right there.
How about hell no.
"Sure," Victoria said.
Then she popped the passenger side door open, and stepped out of the car. Like her life hadn't been turned upside down and inside out in the space of a five minute conversation.
Victoria wasn't used to wearing masks. She generally prided herself on wearing her heart on her sleeve. She didn't have anything to hide.
Well, except all the accidental-on-purpose almost murders, but those didn't count. They were Nazis, anyway.
Besides, Amy was always there to catch her when she fucked up.
Because she's in love with me.
That also made more sense, now.
Amy crossed her arms on the sidewalk and fixed Victoria with her trademark 'over-it' glare.
"Took you long enough," Amy said.
Victoria grinned.
"Sorry. You know proper face sucking takes time to get right. Can't rush perfection," Victoria said.
"Fucking… I don't want to hear about it," Amy groaned.
She's jealous.
It made so much more sense, now. Amy wasn't jealous because Victoria was spending time with Dean. Amy was jealous because she wished she could be the one making out with Victoria in the back seat instead of Dean.
Because Amy loved her.
Victoria's stomach tightened with something that felt uncomfortably close to excitement.
Shit.
"For the record, we really were just talking. Besides, I don't kiss and tell," Victoria smirked.
Amy rolled her eyes.
"Sure you don't," Amy scoffed. "So you're saying I just imagined all the other times I've been subjected to detailed, graphic-"
"We're totally going to be late," Victoria cut her off.
"Whose fault is that?" Amy said.
"Yours, currently," Victoria pointed out.
"Whatever," Amy sighed tiredly. "Let's go, then."
The swooping sensation in her stomach was back with a vengeance.
Just fly Amy to the hospital. Easy. Done it hundreds of times. Maybe thousands. Just grab Amy like a princess and hold her tight, but not too tight, and don't think about the fact that she loves me-
Easier said than done.
Okay. She could do this. Don't think about it too hard.
Victoria scooped Amy up as casually as she could, one arm under the backs of her thighs and the other supporting her shoulders. Amy's arms went around her neck with practiced ease.
It felt different, now, even though it shouldn't. Victoria could feel the warmth of Amy's body through her T-shirt. She couldn't help but fixate in the way Amy's arms tightened automatically, pulling them closer. Her face was right there, chocolate eyes and wild curls and freckles and-
"You good?" Amy asked with her usual mix of worry and annoyance.
"Yeah, sorry, just…" Victoria floundered for a moment. "You have a lot of freckles."
Amy stared at her weirdly.
Shit. Yeah, that was an awkward thing to say. What the fuck was wrong with her?
Before Amy could comment on her word vomit, Victoria took off into the sky.
Flying made everything better. Things were always easier, a mile away from everyone and everything else.
Everyone except Amy, of course.
Victoria held Amy tighter. Her mess of curls tickled her chin.
Okay.
So.
Victoria didn't love Amy like that. The way Amy supposedly loved her.
Amy was her best friend. Her sister. She'd always been there, though everything. No matter what. They both took care of each other. They stayed up late talking about everything. They covered each other's asses. They weathered their mother's mood swings and their dad's bad days and shared sarcastic eye-rolls behind their parents backs. Amy was an integral, load-bearing puzzle piece that couldn't be removed, not that Victoria would ever want her to be.
Still, Victoria didn't love her like that, right now.
But.
Now that the possibility was on the table…
If it would make Amy happy…
She maybe, probably, definitely could.
It would be all too easy for her to fall in love with Amy, too.
Like breathing.
…