Chapter Text
Sirius Black was a possessive, jealous bastard. People either loved him or hated him for it but they sure as fuck knew when to get out of his way.
He didn’t share.
Not lovers. Not friends.
It wasn’t his fault. He grew up on useless drivel and pureblood manners and the black family vault with a mother who would rather curse her children with hexes then take care of them. Sharing wasn’t in his vocabulary. Something was either his or it wasn’t.
When little Reggie was born, his world shifted on its axis. His mother came home one day with a baby, whom she promptly handed off to their house elf with nothing but a name and told him to stay out of the way. Kreacher took the baby, quiet as a lamb and put him in his arms. Regulus shifted, cooing softly and tucked his little face into his chest and Sirius could marvel at such a soft little thing in a house such as their own. When regulus blinked his eyes open, scrunched up his little nose and grumbled his displeasure at the light, Siris laughed.
Sirius didn’t know the word for brother until he was four and Reggie was two. His French tutor was going over family words and called Regulus a word he never heard before. His tutor had taken a break in their lessons to explain what a brother was, and then after many pestering questions, what a bother did.
Mainly, they shared each other’s toys. Sirius did what he always did when he thought he’d have to share. He threw a fucking fit. Magic was the only way to communicate in the house of Black.
His mother would take his toys, break them and rip them to pieces in front of them unless he gave her reason not to. Unless his magic was strong enough to protect it, to hoard it, to stop her, she could take whatever she please and it wasn’t his anymore.
She would grab the toys, call them useless, worthless, low quality and befitting only a muggle, unbefitting of her possessions and unworthy of the title and yet...
It was hers.
Because she could take It from him easily.
He must not have wanted it enough, if it became hers so easily, if he let her take it from him like that.
Regulus was the spare, but he was here to take everything from him!
The magical outburst broke three windows and a door handle.
His tutor tired a different approach. Regulus was his little brother. His to protect, his to love, his to play with. Just like Sirius was his. He belonged to someone now too. Something that couldn’t be taken from him, no matter what their mother did. Regulus was going to love him and choose him.
If he could protect Regulus, love him, care for him, then he’d be his brother, he could keep him.
Once he understood that, he calmed right down.
Regulus was his after all. He didn’t need his toys, he had Reggie to play with. He didn’t want to have food for himself when his brother was hungry and the house elf was forbidden from feeding them for whatever reason their mother decided. His brother was hungry, why would Sirius take that from him?
If his little brother wanted it, he was welcome to it. He got something far greater in return.
He knew how to love his things.
Which is why, when they found out about Moony and how that dumb werewolf was torturing his lovely Remus every month, he demanded they all become Animagus to give that lonely fucker the company he so desperately needed to not tear Remus’ fucking skin off.
They may have cheated a bit with the ritual and spell so they could have it done in a month, but it was his Remus being hurt so they could put up with a bit of cheating. Bet no one else thought of sticking charms for the leaf and Portkeys for the storms!
It wasn’t until he was Padfoot and Prongs and Wormtail that they met Moony, and he had another person to add to his lovely collection. Moony was so sweet. He only tried to eat them once! Prongs kicked him in the face and set him straight but after that it was cuddles and games of chase and tag all night long. Honestly, his dark love was just adorable.
They were his sun and his moon and the only reason he hadn’t committed murder already.
Two years passed in storm of pranks and laughter and such fucking joy he thought he might burst with it. Aside from all the howlers and vitriol from his bitch of a mother about his behavior and shame he was bringing on the house of black. He could ignore that, that woman wasn’t his after all. The only reason he went back to that house was to see Regulus. It wasn’t until she started hiding his letters, re-writing them with charms to make Regulus think Sirius hated him that he started to consider how bad that woman was for his things.
She couldn’t stop him when Regulus came to Hogwarts though, she couldn’t stop him even though she hid his letters and terrorized his owls so Regulus never got a drop of his affection after he left.
Third year had been a fucking blast when Regulus had finally joined them at Hogwarts.
He had run right up to his little brother and hugged him in the middle of the great hall, practically tackled him into it and pulled him to sit with his friends. Even after he was sorted into Slytherin. The professors might have yelled at him a bit, but he didn’t care, Regulus was finally with him at Hogwarts. He had to meet his friends, he had to like them and join in. Slytherin didn’t deserve his Reggie.
It wasn’t until Regulus tugged on his sleeve and asked to go sit with his house that Sirius finally let him go. It was one thing to want Reggie to sit with him, but it was another if Reggie wanted to go make his own friends. He could let him go. It was good for him. His little Reggie could find his own hoard to love as long as he was in it.
Fourth and fifth year was a little harder to handle, their bitch of a mother started cursing his Regulus, bad curses that made him shake and wake up with nightmares of his Reggie on the floor and bleeding without being able to help him.
For all his bravado, and all his efforts to make her mad at him instead of Reggie, she still kept cursing him.
His body wouldn’t have been able to take much more.
Every summer he would return to Hogwarts thin and pale, vicious and primed for violence and revenge and ready to end anyone who stood in his way. He hoarded his friends time and attention viciously, violently.
James was distraught. Begging, pleading him to leave that house. He wanted to, but he couldn’t leave Reggie.
Regulus had grown cold with age, fear clouding him just like it had James. They teamed up then, to ask him to leave. Regulus swore she wouldn’t hurt him as heir, swore up and down he knew how to handle her. Sirius didn’t believe it one-bit, waged war, really, on the matter. But Regulus said it outright, she was his problem, and he would deal with her.
And Sirius?
Well, he could understand that at least.
Reggie was cut of the same cloth after all. He didn’t want to share either.
Which was fine. Really. He could be generous and give the kill to his brother if he wanted it. Something for him to hate all on his own after all.
He left with a kiss on his head and a suitcase to the Potter home and made Regulus vow to come to him if he needed it.
He came out that year, no shame and no reason to be hiding it. He was properly bent and loved shagging all kinds of people. They were fun, easy attachments without commitment, and he couldn’t care less if they stayed or left.
More often than not, he preferred it when they left him alone out of the bedroom. Otherwise, they’d take up his time he was supposed to be spending with his friends.
That is to say… he understood the urge.
To fuck in a broom closet or for a quick shag in the locker rooms or closed classroom, he could understand that!
He did!
He didn’t make such a fuss when it came to Lilly!
Sure, he was a little bit jealous for a few days and pranked her hair to turn green every time she looked in a mirror but that wasn’t anything he wouldn’t have done even if his best friend was in love with someone else. It was a harmless prank. It even had a time limit on it!
More than anything else, he just thought it was fucking funny to watch James leap over stones to get her attention and fail so dramatically at making any sort of progress on getting her to snog him.
Pete even went and found himself a girlfriend and he was alright with it!
He didn't understand why it wasn't the same for Remus, who was chatting up a bloke by the speakers in their after party.
It didn’t make sense. He didn’t understand.
They had just won their match against Slytherin, they had properly troughed those cunts into the ground and won the best game of the year. They managed to sneak in alcohol past every teacher and head of house to throw this party with a great turn out! He was having fun before this, his favorite band came on and he was dressed to impress and his hair was doing a nice thing for him today-not like James’- and yes he was properly pissed and had given up on trying to walk up the stairs alone an hour ago but instead of feeling warm and fuzzy he felt like shit.
Remus was snogging another sixth year in the far back, in the dark and away from the buzz of the people but Sirius could still see him just fine. His hands were on Remus’ jumper, pulling and clutching. The stupid fuck was going to stretch out Remus’ jumper. Remus would hate that. He hated it when Sirius did it on accident and he’d yelled for an age after he found out it had been him. Stupid git wasn’t getting yelled at. No, he was getting the snog of his life.
They broke apart and Sirius could swear he heard the fucking giggle that ponce made when Remus’ hands went under his shirt. He could hear it haunting him even though the music was loud enough to deafen. The bloke stretched up on his toes to kiss Remus again.
“You doing alright?”
James had no business slotting his butt into a one person love seat but one moment Sirius was alone, glaring at nothing in particular and the next James was beside him, taking up all the room on the couch.
“Yea.” Sirius grumbled.
“Oh no, you’re grouchy. Why are you grouchy? You’re not usually a grouchy drunk.” James kissed his head and pulled him into a hug. Not because he particularly wanted one but it made James feel better when he was grumpy. The only reason Sirius was leaning into it was because he was drunk and tired. Not because it was warm or because James always smelled like the Potters at Christmas.
“I want to go to bed but I can’t make it past the stairs.”
“Why not?”
“Legs don’t work. Someone jinxed me to stay here, and moons is snogging someone by the staircase anyway so…” He flapped his hands around miserably.
James, damn him, laughed. “No one hexed you mate; I was right here the entire time. You’re just pissed.”
“No I swear! I tried it earlier and it felt like my legs were jelly jinxed.” His head rolled back to once again, check on Moony.
“My poor padfoot.” James cooed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ll avenge you.”
“Will you take me to bed?” Damn it, that sounded too weepy for drunk Sirius.
James turned serious quickly, in solidarity like a good friend should. “Yea mate, the party is winding down anyway. Want me to come up with you?”
Sirius shook his head. “I want moony.”
James nodded his head. “I’ll see if I can find him. let’s get you to bed.”
With James pulling him to his feet, he managed to break whatever jinx kept him body bound to the couch. James threw an arm over his shoulders and lead him straight to the dorms. They passed Moony on the way up, but his head was tucked into some gits throat, and they were necking too intensely to care. Sirius sniffed a whine as they passed anyway. Remus barely looked his way.
The knot in his stomach grew bigger.
When he finally made it to the dorms, he didn’t even bother pretending to go to his bed, he stripped off his party clothes and climbed into Moons, shutting the curtains behind him. If moony wanted a fuck, he’d have to do it somewhere else.
The sheets smelled like Remus, his shampoo and warm jumpers that always managed to carry spring on them no matter what season it was. Fresh grass and the smell of air in each knit.
Stupid Moony.
All things considered, him being a possessive prick and all, last night went remarkably well. He didn’t hex Remus’ new boy toy and he’d gone to bed at a reasonable hour and when he did wake up- at a reasonable hour- Remus had joined him in bed. So it was all good!
At least it should have been.
James had dragged him out of bed in time for breakfast and as the king of all Gryffindors and the savior of his light and his entire heart and soul, James had asked the Elves to prepare a breakfast for champions of the drink.
And a hangover potion slipped under the table.
Any second now, his headache was going to go away, and he was going to give James the sloppiest wet kiss of his goddamn life to show his appreciation.
A true proper snog that would put Lilly Evans to shame and cement his position as the best kisser between the two and James would finally see what he was missing out being in love with her and not fabulously gay with him.
At least, that’s how it was going to be until a stupid huff interrupted a beautifully composed ramble James had going on to kiss Remus right over his tea and slide right into the chair beside him.
James ramble cut off mid sentence, loud enough in its silence that half the table tuned in to the disturbance. Sirius couldn't be bothered to look at why. His eyes were stuck on Remus. Remus smiling at the Huff. Setting his tea down to wrap arm around him, letting him cosy up to their spot and settle against his side.
What the fuck?
"Hi guys, I'm Grey, Remus' Boyfriend."