Chapter Text
School is stupid. I don't have anything else to add but the adjectives stupid and dull. That's something some adults are not capable of understanding, so that makes them stupid too. I have to walk 45 fucking minutes to cross the shitty forest and get to the stupid campus, just because my dad suddenly decided I am old enough to walk by myself instead of at least borrowing me the car.
That's too, stupid.
And I refuse to get a ride from Mikey's boyfriend, Pete. Don't get me wrong, he's a chill guy but, do you know how embarrassing it'd be for me to jump into the car of a dude who's 2 years younger than me?
Fucking humiliating that a 16 year old has a car and not me.., also I have to recall the ackward moments I have to experience whenever they decide to have their horny teenager moments in front of me like I don't exist around them.
Stupid lovers.
My only option by now is just accept my fate of having to do leg work-out everyday.
At least I can pretend I'm the only existing person walking in the world when I'm inside the path of the forest, nothing too corny, just the feeling of being me, myself and I in those woods.
I put my headphones on and start playing the Smashing Pumpkins, there's no noise except the birds and some cars at the distance. Nonetheless, sometimes the world feels too loud for me, too moving forward and never standing nor looking back.
Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just too busy minding my own futility, my idiotic business that I don't even notice that days go by, spending them by doing incredibly and absolutely nothing.
So, in a fact, that makes me stupid too.
Maybe even more stupid than everyone else in this entire motherfucking world.
I keep walking, but something made me stop out of a sudden. I'm not an easily scared person, but the occasional strange sounds coming from the deepest parts of the woods make me feel kind of uneasy.. there are no beings from the underworld here, that's a fact, a fact I don't really get, they're everywhere.
Everywhere but the forest, this forest.
It feels as if someone or something was watching me, from a decent distance, but still, able to observe me, or running past by me and that's exactly what i'm sensing right now.
That thing is not exactly dead, but it feels different than other souls.
Maybe I'm only being paranoic, the finals are up to come and yeah, I may not give a fuck but still stresses the shit out of me. My brain gets too overstimulated, it messes with my senses.
Anyway, I pause the music, just to listen better to my surroundings. The noise of an alive animal running is there but gets further as the seconds go by.
Maybe a deer, who knows?
There´s a difference between something dead and something with a beating heart, when they´ve already passed out the sounds they make are echoing, just like a burning memory, or a nostalgic music coming from your childhood. It´s something that was there some time ago, but not anymore. Meanwhile, a living thing sounds stronger, it can be heard by everyone once, non repeatedly, just there.
I'll stop with the blah blah blah and let's imagine the 45 minutes have already passed, you have to believe it to turn it real or some.. dumb.. stuff like that.
Finally, we are here, in Hell itself. Where the smelly and depressed teenagers come from 7am to 3pm to listen to old folks that know shit about what they're teaching and who they're teaching.
At the entrance of the school gates there´s a man guarding next to an old one who´s always there whether there´s classes or not, he´s pale with dark circles under his eyes and his back is crooked, like, completely broken along his arms. He has a tire mark over his clothes, over his broken bones.The old man always nods his head to me and I do the same every morning.
I think he was ran over by a car or a bus some years ago.
I enter my classroom, approaching to my back seat, next to the window. I love that seat, I can look outside like a prisoner inside his jail. I used to sit alone all the time, except for when Lindsey abruptly decided she wanted to sit beside me.
It didn’t really bother me, she's quite known for being pretty outgoing yet around me she knows to measure herself. And as long as I had the window seat, although I feel somewhat with less personal space. When you have an empty seat by your side you put your stuff on the table and chair and basically the whole set is yours now.
It seems she didn’t come today, as she's always talking with her friends near to the teacher's desk before the class starts, but nope, not today.
There are some rumors going around saying that she likes me, I'd believe them if she wasn't one of the prettiest girls in the school, I'm too shy to even say "hi" if she doesn't say it first, now, imagine me asking her out. I don't even know if the rumors are true, so why bother?
Mind out of the bubble, Way. There's someone sitting on your seat. It takes me a moment to comprehend the situation. I'm not bullied or anything like that, I'm more like ignored, yet people try not to face me a lot for some reason, they might think I have a rare contagious infection that makes you socially awkward or some shitty mindset like that. Back to the thing; no one has ever sat on my seat, it's just not it.
-Hey, umm.. that's my seat- I say almost whispering, that's the best I can do right now. The guy looks up to me and heck, he's handsome, he had hazel eyes, a lip ring and a dark spikey hair. He looked like those punk boys you find right at the last corner to turn to your house and there are only 2 options: Being beaten up by them or just judged by your looks or whatever you may be wearing. Maybe just another average looking boy actually, although, who am I to tell? I'm not even close to the average.
-Oh, I'm sorry, but the teacher sat me here.- That's all he answered. For your knowledge, punk boy, that seat has been mine since last year, [We didn't get a classroom change]so basically, my space.
-Nuh-uh, I've been sitting here since last year, the professor knows that, can you move?- I tilted my head slightly, pointing anywhere but my seat. He cocked an eyebrow.
-Man, the seat next to me is empty- He pointed out as if I was a dumbass, there was a chance I was; just for wanting specifically that place. I had been standing in front of him until Ms. Marlane called me out for not being sat down.
-Gerard, the class has already started, do you want us to wait for you to be on your seat?- She asked while crossing her arms, as if she had any authority at all here..
-He´s on my seat..- I pointed out. Ms. Marlane looked as if I had just told her I had pooped my pants, irritated, at her limit. Everyone else in the class was looking at me without saying a word, just looking and whispering. Great.
-There´s a.. for god´s sake, there´s an empty seat next to him, sit down now, Way.- I looked at her indignated. I´m not retarded, why would you assign seats if you´re not going to follow the assignation? I slid the chair to make a space for me to sit, and finally sat down. Don´t take me as an autistic brat, It´s just that my butt had already molded the hard wood and made it my territory (I glued some stickers on the back).
-Finally.. well, as you may´ve seen, class, there´s a new classmate. Stand up, Frank, and present yourself.
-Yeah- He now sounded like a cool guy everyone wants to be friends with. - Hey, I´m Frank and I moved here recently with my family.- He took his place after everyone said a careless "Hi, Frank", except for me. Jesus, are we in kindergarten?
The class kept on, though I didn´t give fuck for it, so I just opened my sketchbook and started doodling and sketching some characters from my comics. I wanted to look outside, so that´s what I did, I rested my elbow on the table and my head on my hand and zoned out for I don´t know how much time until the punk boy looked at me and then my sketchbook, and then me again.
-You´re into drawing, ah?- He smiled- That´d be one of my hobbies too if I wasn´t horrible at it.- He kind of laughed a little. I just stared at him and barely nodded - You´are not mad because I took "your" seat, right?
-No, just, bad at conversations- I indeed didn´t like to talk more than it´s needed, there was no point and, besides, I was already cooled down.
-I see, well, don´t you worry, ´cause from now on I´ll be the one to fill your mornings with..- He paused unexpectedly when the girl of the janitor room came in to say hello, I remember her doing it with me when I had my first day here, and also with other classmates. She´ll just follow you everywhere you go until the end of the day; she gave me a smile and then hugged Frank, I don´t know why´d she died at such a young age.- ...words, yeah, sorry, I zoned out.
-It happens- I murmured while looking at the girl just to bring my eyes back to my sketchbook. I could feel his gazing for some minutes so I looked back at him- ...what?
-Nothing, I just, yeah..- ´kay, now, in my opinion he is idiotic, crazily idiotic.
The classes went by and for my unlucky ass I shared almost every class where we needed to actually change classroom. I could´ve had the opportunity of being alone again. Yay. It was finally recess when he started following me to the cafeteria, he should be looking for people who actually want to be friends with someone like him, but whatever, at least he´s not making me continue the conversation.
I was carrying my tray with my disgusting food when some jerks approached Frank passing next to me without trying to avoid pushing my shoulder. As I said, jerks.
-Hey, Frank! Me and the boys wanted to invite you over at your table but you were so far away at the back of the class we couldn´t get a chance to ask you- Said my classmate which name I don´t really care to remember with his jerk friends laughing behind him and saying nasty things about the girls who go by next to us.
-I mean, if Gerard is not bothered by it- I was by his side zoning out again until I heard my name and popped my bubble.
-Ah, go for it- I voiced with almost no intention
-Great! see you next period- He walked away with the others and I turned around to go outside the building to sit on the stairs that lead to the main courtyard. I felt an small hand holding my jeans to walk next to me, I sat down and saw the girl from before. That was weird, she usually spends the whole day with the people she chooses.
-I didn´t like him. He smells like wet soil and blood.- She complained repulsed in her perfect british english. The girl was positioned in front me, she was wearing the brown dress with flowers she´s had since the first day I saw her, it´s not like ghosts can change clothes. Her hair is blonde, but half done, she has one out of 2 ponytails completely fallen down, alongside, her skin was normal but her face; it was completely burned and her eyes were fluctuating, dancing on her cheeks.-He could feel me, too.
Her voice is like trying to remember the lyrics of a song you once used to like, but know you can´t even recall for the melody. Still, you know it´s there, all ghosts sound, look and feel morose, tragically morose.