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Teddy first fucked Matthew Ellis. He’d come inside the man, hips shuddered and cried out “Mateo.”
The man formerly known as Matthew had trembled in his grip. He’d been a gasping, shuddering mess and whispered Teddy over and over again like it was a prayer.
Teddy softened as he kissed Matthew’s face and then his lips. “Do you like when I call you Mateo?”
Their bodies slowly crashed against each other like a wave breaking on the shore. “Yes,” Matthew’s bright blue eyes were slightly wet with unshed tears. “I like it when you call me anything.”
“Anything?” Teddy pulled out. Matthew’s legs twitched in response. His sensitivity endeared Teddy to Matthew even more. It made him want to ruin Matthew. “I usually call my lovers mami.”
Matthew's eyes, if possible, got even wider from his fucked out bliss. “I don’t know if I meet the criteria.”
Teddy ducked down to mouth at Matthew’s nipples. He squeezed his chest and said, “It's not literal, it's a term of endearment. Now, you’re insulting my culture. What do the British say in bed, full government name, huh?”
Matthew laughed, one of his long legs stretched out and the other curved up on Teddy’s hip. “I don’t know about everyone but we’re big on nicknames. Teddy’s a nickname, right?”
Teddy felt strangely caught. “Yes. Mr. Military Intelligence.”
Matthew chuckled but Teddy, still guilty about last night, kissed his shoulder in apology. “Or darling usually. Classic one.”
Darling sounded so sweet in Matthew’s dulcet tone of voice. He wished they had more time together, maybe he would get to hear it.
***
They had all the time in the world. But he didn’t even know who he was riding with. The place in Mexico was unknown to Roper. Relatively safe but he was letting this Jonathan Pine right into his life. He’d lived there when he was younger, still fighting for scraps and figuring things out.
“Is Jonathan Pine your real name?” Teddy asked. “Or is it another fake?”
“It’s my real name. I met Roper before I started any of this.”
“Do you go by Jonathan or Johnny?” He turned to look at Jonathan, sitting in the passenger seat, still nursing a wound in his shoulder from the jungle. He cut his eyes back to the road but waited.
“I don’t go by anything,” Jonathan said. “I haven’t been Jonathan Pine for a long time.”
“So what should I call you?”
“Whatever you want.”
Teddy scoffed. He didn’t like it. “I guess it is Jonathan then.” But it sounded wrong and he knew more than anyone that a given name carried a lot of weight.
“You can still call me Matthew, if it’s too much of a switch.”
But Teddy couldn’t. Matthew made him feel like the knife of betrayal was still in his gut, Roper’s voice in his head. And the nickname made him think of Jonathan’s body trembling around his dick. Made him remember blue eyes staring into his, searing kisses burning everything else away
***
The place was old but homely. Old-fashioned with wallpaper still and wooden shelves cracked and chipped. Teddy ran a hand down these chips and remembered the year or so he spent here. At the time he’d had no power, no family, no hope but he’d also had freedom.
The small home made it so they were always on top of each other. “Jonathan,” Teddy had to say once, it tasted horrible in his mouth. “Jonathan.”
Jonathan came into the kitchen to lend a hand, dutifully stirring the pot while Teddy threw a pan in the oven.
“You don’t have to do all this."
“And starve?”
“I used to buy food that could be cooked in the microwave.”
“That’s sad,” Teddy said. “Didn’t you have someone to cook for you?”
“Not so much.”
“Is it all a lie? No ex-wife in France, no daughter?”
“Not all of it,” Jonathan’s eyes looked green today. Everything about him was chameleon-like. “I’m not that good of an actor.”
Teddy shrugged and fussed with some of the vegetables. “I don’t care. I just want to know. Don’t want some little girl missing her daddy.”
“Children don’t really fit into my life.”
“But you do like women?”
“Yes,” Jonathan didn’t rise to the bait of his hostile tone.
“And I was your first time with a man?” Teddy felt braver in the house, under his terms, a knife in his hand and an accusatory tone. “Or was that a lie?”
“That was true,” Jonathan kept stirring but moved slightly closer. “I’ve never felt this way before.”
“You don’t have to sweet talk me. Your honeypot mission worked.”
Jonathan shook his head. “It wasn’t like that. I wasn’t—I wasn’t using you for information.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“Why did you? Why does anyone sleep with anyone? I wanted to.”
Teddy didn’t know what to do with that so they finished up dinner and ate in silence.
***
Teddy lasted until the dangerous late night hours. He crept into Jonathan’s room. He sat down on the bed and called him that wrong, ill-fitting name “Jonathan.”
Jonathan turned, he looked like he’d already been awake and just waiting. “Eduardo. Why are you here?”
Teddy didn’t say anything. He started to take off his clothing. When Jonathan followed suit, he changed his tune to the horrible-lying alias, “Mateo,” he whispered. “Be Mateo.”
“Okay,” he said. Jonathan spread his legs for Teddy to settle in between. “Okay, come here, darling.”
Teddy kissed him, unable to take it. He wasn’t big on sweetness, on the simple, non-sexual tenderness of darling—the way Jonathan said it, genuinely, or acting.
Teddy grabbed one of his legs and pulled it up and around his hip. He pressed their dicks together and started to jerk them off together. “Mateo—” he said, as Jonathan stole his hand away and moved it up. He pressed his fingers into Jonathan’s yearning mouth.
He fucked Jonathan on his back, a leg thrown up on Teddy’s shoulders. He pounded him into the mattress. He needed his pain, the way he cried out, overwhelmed as Teddy screwed him. His eyebrows drew up, his eyes got wet, his red mouth opened on a silent scream.
“Mateo,” he said again as Jonathan surrendered to it, eyes rolling back in his head. He pressed his face into Jonathan’s neck as it became too much.
“I—” Jonathan said. “I thought I’d never have this again.”
Teddy didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. He didn’t think he could. Jonathan’s body was addicting. It was cocaine and heroin and nicotine all wrapped into sinful snow-white skin, almost transparent so that he could see pulsing blue veins under. He rubbed Jonathan’s uplifted thigh and then the curve of his ass and hip. The alluring feel of hard muscle and the soft fat lining it.
Jonathan chose this time to confess, “I’m sorry for lying,” and it was a good line since it would work for Mateo and Jonathan both. “It feels so good.”
Mateo had talked a lot. He’d been loud, vocal and Jonathan kept that up. It didn’t feel like an act but a military man like him probably fucked more silently. But he put on a show for Teddy, whimpering, whining, letting out little ahs on every thrust.
Teddy came inside him again. “Mateo,” he said and Jonathan’s arms were tight around him.
***
In the day, he avoided calling Jonathan by name. They were the only ones here, who else could he be talking to. But at night he called Jonathan Mateo and Jonathan called him darling and they allowed a tender chain of sweetness to connect them.
He had Jonathan on all fours that night. He fucked him from behind, deep, fast, falling apart. It was immature of him but Jonathan did this to him. He unraveled Teddy’s finesse. “Don’t stop, love,” Jonathan gasped out. “Don’t stop.”
Teddy didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop. Not with Jonathan feeling so good on the inside, so tight, so warm. His perfect Mateo voice and perfect Mateo noises.
“I won’t,” and Teddy didn’t. He said, “Mateo, Mateo, Mateo,” all night long, as if conjuring him from nothing. He wrapped an arm around Jonathan’s hips, pulled him back and pressed down into him. Jonathan’s arms collapsed and laid prone on the bed, with his ass up and head tilted to the side, an eye on Teddy.
“Easy,” Jonathan said, like he needed soothing. But Teddy didn’t go easy, he didn’t go slow. He didn’t stop. He couldn’t. Jonathan was spread out for the taking and take he did.
Jonathan held onto the sheets. His thighs shook as he spread them more, arching his back. Offering himself up to Teddy. He cried out, “Mateo,” when he came. It was starting to feel Pavlovian.
***
In the waking hours Jonathan sprinkled in darling, as natural as breathing to him. At night, Teddy, unnatural to it all, called him what his sister once did, amor.
Jonathan-as-Mateo’s eyes stared into his as he impaled himself on Teddy’s dick. He flinched up when it filled him too deep, too fast. “Take it slow, amor,” he said, hiding in Spanish, though Jonathan spoke it.
Jonathan nodded. He eased down slowly and then stayed there for a while. Teddy rubbed his ass cheeks, held his waist when he stared to move his hips. He guided Jonathan into a rhythm but the connection between them sizzled with too much intimacy. “Your ass feels so good, mami.” He dared Jonathan to say something, like before.
Jonathan blinked a few times, casually he said, “I prefer amor.”
“Eh,” Teddy tried to cover himself. “Not sexy enough.”
Jonathan let him get away with it. Teddy forced himself to stay quiet but he couldn’t help it when Jonathan whined and moaned like he was being killed softly. “Amor,” he whispered. He kissed Jonathan’s ear, and was close to it when his orgasm triggered, “Mateo.”
***
Teddy had a problem, he didn't know what to call Jonathan Pine. Jonathan felt clunky. Pine was too militaristic. Matthew was false and Mateo too soft.
His biggest problem was that saying amor felt good, natural, and even worse, already familiar. Jonathan wouldn’t stop pushing him. He kissed Teddy now, during the waking hours. He would casually lean down and peck Teddy’s lips.
It made Teddy feel crazy and childish. He’d never had the typical romantic experiences with men. Men were to be fucked and left and hidden. But Jonathan was everywhere, his blond hair in the shower, his favorite drinks in the fridge and annoying books everywhere.
“Who the fuck even reads,” Teddy moved a book from the couch to sit. “Let alone two books at once.”
Jonathan took it from him and sat down at his feet, leaning against the couch. He opened up to his page. It was in English and Teddy peered over his shoulder to read. “A man needs hobbies.”
“This isn’t a hobby,” Teddy nudged his foot against Jonathan’s hip. “It’s homework,” but he noticed something else. “You’re holding that book pretty close to your face. Forget your glasses in England.”
Jonathan rolled his eyes. “I don’t need glasses,” but his voice was so defensive it had to be true.
“You really are a mami,” he grinned. “I almost question my taste.”
Jonathan set his book down. “What did you say, Teddy?”
“Mami. Suck my dick.”
To his surprise, Jonathan pounced on him. He held Teddy down and exposed his dick. He sucked Teddy off like he was trying to pull his soul out through his dick. He did it with the sole purpose of making Teddy come quickly like an immature boy.
Teddy gripped his perfectly curled hair. He thrust into Jonathan’s mouth, closing his eyes and clenching down hard. “Point taken. I got it.”
Jonathan didn’t let up. He kept going, dutifully working his mouth and pushed Teddy to orgasm quickly, “Mateo,” he said. “Mateo,” he repeated, exhausted from how fast he got there. In defense of himself he said, “You said I could call you anything.”
“You can,” he said. “You shouldn’t.”
“Oh no,” he clutched his chest dramatically. “I should watch myself or I’ll get my dick sucked too much.”
“Do you…want me to be a woman?” Jonathan asked.
Teddy shook his head. “It’s just hot.”
“If you say so.” Jonathan rested his head on Teddy’s thigh. “Why do you never call me Jonathan? I just want to know.”
“It doesn’t suit you,” Teddy said, unable to articulate what he meant by it. “It’s like when a store changes its name but everyone still calls it by its old name.”
Jonathan got up enough to press their foreheads together. “I understand.”
He pushed Jonathan down next to him and got to his knees. He repaid the favor. Jonathan was more Jonathan-like. He kept quiet as his dick was sucked, this was familiar ground to him, not like getting fucked in the ass—though he’d done it several times he still seemed so overwhelmed.
Teddy rarely did this but he wanted Jonathan’s pleasure. He pulled off, “talk to me. I want to hear you.”
Activated now, Jonathan’s sweet mouth opened. “Darling, like that. Like that.”
Teddy liked to please, to give pleasure is to get pleasure as the saying went. He received pleasure from feeling Jonathan’s hard dick in his mouth, mapping it out with his tongue and gums.
“Yes, yes,” Jonathan gasped and then went silent and came.
***
Teddy knew it was over for him when he was cooking and Jonathan turned on some music. It was old American music, it sounded so full, so sensual and flowing. The music demanded he dance and so he did. He curled around Jonathan, hooked an arm around his back.
“Dance with me, amor,” he asked. It was something out of a TV show, not his life. He never saw his parents do this, never had a girlfriend he ever wanted to spend this kind of time with.
Jonathan started to sway. He eliminated any empty space between them, pressed them together as Jonathan reached back to grab his ass.
“I remember you tried that back in Columbia,” he said.
“Are you going to move it?” Jonathan asked.
“No,” Teddy said. “I won’t.”
Jonathan eventually turned and Teddy’s hands settled on his waist. Jonathan curled closer to him, making himself shorter to rest his head on Teddy’s shoulder. “Jonathan,” he said and the man straightened up.
“What?”
“Just testing it, see if it fits any better.”
Jonathan pressed their faces close to align their noses. “Don’t,” he said. “I don’t like it anymore. I’d rather be your Mateo or love.”
Teddy had to kiss him. He had to have him. He had to stay like this forever. “Okay.” He swallowed. “Te amo,” he whispered. “Mi amor.”
“I love you too, darling."