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The music of the club still blared from inside despite the hour, the phantom beat of the club vibrating the cement beneath Nikki's bare feet. Her tall, platform heels dangled from her finger, her work bag hanging heavy from her shoulder, packed with all her costumes for her strip routine on the stage. Even at this late hour, where night became morning, the heat of the summer’s day lingered, making her hair stick to the back of her neck.
A sharp whistle caught her attention, turning her head in the direction of the sleek, dark blue impala pulling itself up to the front of the club where she stood. The airbrushed web designs seemed to almost glow against the dark blue, pearlescent backdrop they were painted against, reflecting the club lights the same way a spider’s web reflects a sliver of light.
“You goin’ home, Gata?”
Spider's voice was instantly recognizable, the slight hoarseness characterized by decades of supposedly abusing substances and— at least from what she's heard from other staff— a throat injury he sustained in a fight many years ago.
“I should be askin’ you the same thing, Spidey,” She replied, using the tone of voice she reserved specifically for him. “Where's yo homeboy at?”
“Who, Tito?” His diamond studded tooth played peek-a-boo behind the corner of his smile, already leaning over from the driver's seat to open the passenger door for her.
“Don't play, Spidey, y'know who I'm talkin’ about.”
“Ohhh! You mean Baby! You know he don't work here Gata-”
“Tsk!” Nikki playfully rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. She knew the game he was playing, and she was just as good at playing it.
“For real though, Gata, José’s outta town for the day on some important business,”
Stealing cars. Nikki was well aware of some of the more unsavory things José had to do besides just being a bouncer at Spider’s strip club. It's not like she could judge him for it, either, seeing as she herself was working the pole late into the night at Spider’s club. She knew working under him meant you did what you were told, and then some.
“He gon’ be back by tomorrow. I swear it, Cholo’s honor.” He promised, putting his ring clad, tattooed hand upon his chest, as if he were making the most solemn of promises. “But for now? I can take you home tonight, y'know, like he always does.”
“Aw, well, gee Spidey, I dunno,” Nikki started, looking down at the ground coquettishly, trying to hide her apprehension of getting in his car. “Dont’cha know that it's awfully dangerous for a girl to get in a strange man’s car?”
Spider laughed, missing her on-the-nose comment entirely. He patted the seat, the door already propped open for her.
“Aw c'mon! Y'know I ain't no stranger. Just hop in, better ridin’ with me than walkin’ home alone in the dark.”
Nikki considered if it really was better, despite knowing that he was, inherently, right. But her pause was disguised with a smile, finally stepping into his slick ride and closing the door behind herself. She was about to set her work bag down in her lap, but Spider was quick to take it from her, lifting the heavy bag with one hand and setting it down in the back seat instead.
“You settled in, cariña?”
“Yeah.” She replied, shrinking back a bit when he buckled her in, able to smell his aftershave and pomade. “You know where you're goin’?”
“Oh yeah, I know where you live—”
“Scandalous!” Nikki gasps in fake shock, covering her mouth with her manicured hand.
“Scandalous, eh?”
“Very scandalous!”
“I know it from your application forms, remember, cabróna?” He teased, bumping her with his elbow playfully whilst he typed in her address on his phone’s GPS. “You need your address to get hired by any place, even mine!”
“...Y'know, there's gonna be talk if folks see me in your car.” Nikki changed the topic after a brief pause, her voice a little softer now.
The car came to life after Spider turned the key in its ignition, the sound of it more like a low growl after all the modifications he's made to it. The floor rumbled beneath her still bare feet, the modified carpet surprisingly well taken care of and soft. He must be just as meticulous with his ride as José is.
That, or the passenger side of his car didn't get a lot of foot traffic.
“Another one of your scandals?” He teased, turning around to check his rear window, putting an arm behind her seat as he pulled out, turning immediately onto the main street. His cologne was more soapy than José's, Nikki noticed. It reminded her of the cheap Adidas cologne she gifted to her older brother many Christmases ago, when she didn't know any better than to not waste what precious money she had on gifts for others.
“Oh, don't you know it,” She replied, leaning back into the soft, suede seat. “I’d never hear the end of it if anyone found out. Especially Red, y'know how she gets.”
Or, god forbid, José himself. Nikki knew that if word got back to José about her getting a ride from Spider, it would immediately incite violence. And she was loath to the thought of two men fighting over her.
“Let ‘em talk.” He turned back around to look ahead at the road, the hand that was braced against her seat while now resting in her lap. “So long as it's about me ‘n you, I don't mind it a bit.”
The hand that rested in her lap petted her bare thigh gently, the skin of his palm calloused yet warm. There was even a slight tremor in his hand that she couldn't otherwise see. Yet, it was those same hands that she had seen mercilessly beat down drunks, those same hands that she knew had taken lives many years before she was even in high school. Those same hands… the fact that they could caress just as easily as they could kill made her skin crawl.
Under the orange street lights of the city street, she could see the tattoos on his hands become illuminated under every pass of the light. The skeletal structure of his bones were illustrated on his skin, a large black spider crawling through the gaps, leaving behind webs between the spaces of his bones.
Nikki suppressed a shudder, just trying to grin and bear it as thanks for the ride home. Spiders always terrified her, and the fact that not only her boss’ name was Spider, but also having so many spider tattoos, it made her skin crawl.
It wasn't a long ride whatsoever, and Nikki thanked whatever gods blessed her for it.
Spider finally pulled up to the front of her apartment building, letting himself out first so that he could come to the passenger side and open the door for her.
“Oh my, what a gentleman.” Nikki mused, allowing him to take her hand to help her step out. “You must be taking after José.”
“Pfft, him?” He scoffed, also taking her bags and shoes from out of the backseat as well. “Nah, he takes after me!”
“Ohoh, is that so? See, now, he told me he got it from his mama.”
“Ohhh, is that what he tells everybody?” He replied, slinging her workbag over his shoulder. “Maybe he did, but I mighta taught him a thing or two about treating the ladies.”
How ironic, Nikki thought to herself, that he believed in such a thing, and yet owned a strip club and took a percentage of the dancer's earnings. That is to say, everyone except her earnings…
Unsure of what else to say, she just giggled in response, which seemed to placate him enough. He hoisted up her bag to get a better grip, scanning the doors of the apartment lot. It was almost comical, seeing an older man covered in tattoos, carrying a pink, sparkly, hello kitty duffle bag. The sight alone would've made her laugh for real if it weren't for the circumstances she was under.
Instead, she pointed out which door was hers and guided Spider along, since he insisted on taking her stuff to her door for her. After getting to her doorstep she fumbled with her keys for a minute, struggling in the dark to decipher which of the keys was her apartment key. During the time Nikki bumbled about with her keychain, Spider got a good look at the apartment complex she lived in, and where in the neighborhood it sat.
The houses across the street had broken windows, with some of them having thick, iron gates bolted to the windows and front doors. Every lawn on the block sported dead grass and tall weeds, Even the road itself showed signs of neglect, the asphalt having cracked over time. It was obvious that…
…Well, that this place was deep in the ghetto.
“Ah! Here we go, got it—”
The lock finally turned after taking the correct key, and she propped open the door with her foot, looking back at her boss.
“Alright, I can go ahead and take… S-Spider?”
He had a grim look on his face. A stark contrast to the literal glittering smile he was wearing in the car with her a moment ago. She could feel her stomach tighten up, unsure of what was about to happen.
“This place…” He started, his eyes wandering back to her. With the streetlight positioned behind him, it was hard to make out the details of his face, aside from the spider tattoo that encircled his eye and the web that crept down his neck. “...This place ain't that safe for someone like you, is it?”
She froze, unsure of what exactly to say. Keeping sweet and laughing off the situation seemed inappropriate for the mood now, and it wasn't like she could play dumb at a time like this. Instead, she looked down at the ground, shrugging her shoulders half-heartedly.
“W-Well, I mean… it's all I could afford at the time, a-and well, er…”
His silence made her trail off, still unsure how to proceed. Dealing with his mood swings was never easy, but this seemed different. Spider didn't seem angry or erratic like he usually was when he was high. Tonight, in this moment, standing in her doorway he almost seemed…
…Sad.
“...Y'know, Gata,” He began, his hoarse voice almost sounding like a whisper when he spoke this low. “I could take care of you. You wouldn't have to dance.”
Nikki licked her lips under her teeth, her mouth suddenly dry. Of all things he could've said, why did he have to say that? She couldn't fight or deflect something like that.
“I could set you up with a nice place to live. I could even send you to my home in Mexico, if you wanted, and you could live with my lil’ sister, Tiny.” He continued, setting Nikki’s things down by her door as he did. “I know you two have become good friends. I'd send home money for you guys to live a good life. You'd be a princess, Gata. You'd never have to work another day in your life.”
Her hands trembled, still unable to look him in the eye. She couldn't believe what she was hearing right now. There were so many things that spiralled through her mind: confusion, revulsion, fear, and worst of all… hope, as well as the guilt and disgust that came along with even considering it.
Now that his hands were empty, he leaned over her, his bony knuckles tucking some of her sweat dampened hair behind her ear, cupping her face.
“Look, I know you like José and all,” He murmured, the mention of José’s name during this conversation making the tension in her stomach worsen. “And I like him too, y'know, he’d be a good man to you. He's a good guy. Hell, I would know, I mentored him afterall… But, he's young, Gata, he's got nothing to give you but the shirt on his back. And I'm sure he'd give it to you. But me?... I've got more experience, more money. You wouldn't need to teach me how to love you, or how to care for you.”
Nikki considered for a moment if this was just a bad dream, and that any moment she would wake up, and all these disgusting feelings would go away. But even after she squeezed her eyes shut, after she prayed that this wasn't real, that this wasn't happening, she didn't wake up. She was stuck here, with Spider’s gentle hand still cupping her face, her lashes wet with tears.
“I-I…” Her voice immediately broke upon the first syllable, and she cursed mentally at herself for it. There was no way she could keep eye contact with him like this, but his hand holding her face made that incredibly difficult.
“F-Fuck, I don't…” She bit her lip, suddenly afraid of the unspoken consequences that might come as a result of what she was about to say.
“What is it, cariña?”
“Spider…” The tightness she felt in her stomach made its way up her throat, making it difficult to force the words out. Each word she was finally able to utter felt like she was ripping her own teeth out. “...Wh-What will happen to me, i-if I said no, right now?”
It was an honest question. A painful one at that. Her cool, coquettish facade that usually kept Spider’s mood in check had completely broken down, showing the vulnerable, frightened woman underneath. It made him pause for a moment, considering the depth of her question. Was he really the type of guy that frightened women, to the point they questioned their safety over rejection?
The silence hung heavy between them, the wait making Nikki feel utterly nauseous. But thankfully, Spider was an impatient man, and didn't take too long to weigh her question.
“Then I wait.” He told her, taking his hand away from her face to loop his arms around her waist, holding her closer to him.
Nikki instinctively put her hands on his chest, an attempt to keep some distance between them that he, hopefully, could interpret as a romantic gesture. She was still too scared to reject him outright, fearful of what he may do in retaliation. But the steady thump-thump of his heart under her hands and the vague tremor in his hands said something different; an inkling of what was happening started to form in the back of her mind.
“I wait, I wait until you get tired of waiting. Waiting for José, or hell, even Red, to make a move on you. I see how those two compete for you, Gata.”
A tear rolled down her face, taking her mascara and sparkly eyeshadow down with it, leaving behind a glittering tear track on her cheek. How she wished that Spider would just stop talking, that this whole conversation would just stop, and she could go to bed, and forget it ever happened.
“And when neither of them step up, I will. And then I'll take you far away from this place, Gata. You'll be my girl, and live the comfortable life you deserve.”
Nikki sniffled, trying not to make her crying obvious to him, in case it made him upset. She was prepared to hear him scold and chastise her for her tears, but instead, her eyes were met with the cuff of his sleeve, wiping her tears away.
“No llores, Gata,” Spider murmured, holding her closer as he wiped away makeup-soaked tears. “Nunca se consigue nada bueno llorando.”
“How long…” She muttered, noticing how dark the bags under his eyes had become, even in the unlit space they shared.
“As long as it takes.” He told her, his face just a breath away from hers.
That wasn't what she had implied when she asked him that question. She had meant, how long has it been since you last used? But he seemed stable for now, and was afraid of spoiling the moment by correcting him.
So she let it go.
Spider hesitated for a second, but eventually let her go now that her tears had stopped. He picked up the bags that he had initially set down during the conversation and set them on the inside of her door. Usually, he was the type to push his luck, but the low mood tonight just didn't allow him the energy for it. Having been the source of Nikki's tears tonight had left him in poor spirits.
“You should go to bed soon, Gata, the sun will be up in just a few hours.”
She nodded, her arms crossed tightly under her chest now that Spider wasn't holding her.
He turned to leave, heading back to his car that was still idling in place. But Nikki’s voice stopped him; she didn't want him to leave without acknowledging him somehow.
“Uh, Spider—”
“Valentín.”
“Wh-What?”
“My name,” He replied, opening his car door. “Valentín, it's my name. Maybe… Maybe you could call me it sometime. Maybe when we're alone again.”
The reveal took her by surprise. Not even his sister, Tiny, called him by his name. But it made sense: Valentína y Valentín. Their names matched just as much as their looks. And for a second, Nikki didn't know any better than to be endeared by it.
“...Drive safe, okay?”
He nodded, getting into the driver's seat without another word, closing the door behind him.
Nikki watched him drive down the street away from her apartment from her apartment door, the dark blue impala disappearing out of sight. And as soon as he disappeared, her tears came back in full force, her knees suddenly feeling weak.
Fuck. She was really in for it now, wasn't she? She should've just rejected him outright, told him off. What does a 42 year old man like him want with a 24 year old woman like her? How could he possibly be better than José? At least José was her age!
But that was the thing, wasn't it? That was the point he had made. José was young, he said so himself. He was young, and had no resources, no savings, no experience. If Nikki and José started a life together, they would need to start from scratch. And that's even if they could get out of the current lifestyles they were living right now, if Spider, their boss, would even let them. But if Nikki chose Spider…
No, god, no, she couldn't even begin to think of it. The thought of living her life with a man like Spider made her stomach churn. She wasn't like her mother; she didn't choose men for their money, or how well they could provide. She wanted to choose some she loved, and she loved José.
And what if… oh, god, what if José ever heard about her accepting a ride from Spider? She knew he'd be angry with him, that was a given. But what about her? He would most likely be angry with her too, and the thought terrified her. But it wasn't like she could tell her boss no. She was the only one in the club who was able to calm him down when he was erratic. There was no reasoning with him when he got into his own head.
Except for tonight. Tonight was different. Tonight he was… he was sober. Nikki had never seen him so clear headed. Which made everything he told her even worse. It meant he was serious, that he wasn't just saying the first thing that came to his mind because he was too high to know what he was saying.
Her knees finally buckled, forcing her to slide her weight down the heavy metal door until she sat on the floor, her knees tucked up to her chin. She had no idea what she was gonna do.
If she went to José and Red about this, it would start a fight. Not only that, they'd probably be angry at her for being so stupid about getting in his car as well. But if she didn't, then it was only a matter of time before Spider suddenly got impatient, before he would take his frustration out on all of them. All it took was for him to get his fix, lose his senses, and retaliate until he got what he wanted.
Fuck, this wasn't fair! Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to be the one always calming someone down, always tending to their moods and fawning over them? Why her? What was it about her that made people act this way?
She wiped her tears with her hands, her thoughts still spiralling even as she forced herself up from the floor, necessity reminding her that she still needed to lock her door, shower, and sleep. The routine seemed to drag on for hours, however, and the sight of her still un-made bed a welcome reprieve from her current suffering.
Nikki all but threw herself into her bed, cocooning herself in her blankets as she fretted over the trouble she's gotten herself into. Her thoughts shifted to José, wishing that he was here right now. Who cared about the life he lived, or if he didn't have money. His hands were gentle and his words were soothing. He was understanding and kind, generous even, despite the circumstances.
…But wasn't Spider, also?
Usually, they were both busy enough with their respective jobs that they had some distance between each other. And Nikki knew enough about Spider to deal with him accordingly; she was experienced with dealing with addicts and their behavior while under the influence. But tonight was different, tonight Spider was sober, and she saw a different side of him.
A man that she usually saw as unpredictable showed a surprising amount of stability and restraint. His touch was gentle— if he wanted to hurt her, then he would have gone out of his way to do so. But he didn't. He made a point of being sober when he was usually indulgent. Why? Why do that, if it wasn't to prove his seriousness to her?
And what's worse, some of the things he said, they actually made Nikki seriously consider if a life with Spider— even if he was much older than her— wouldn't be so bad. He had plenty of money, that much was obvious, and it wasn't like he was ugly. No, he was well groomed, well dressed, charming, even. He was gentlemanly, maybe he could give her a good life, if she let him…
…NO! No, what was she thinking?! How could she possibly, seriously consider his offer? What about José, and everything he's done for her so far? What about her friends at the club? What would they do if she was no longer there to sway Spider’s decisions when he couldn't think straight?! God, how could she be so, so selfish?! So stupid!
Nikki squeezed her eyes shut as the argument in her head continued on, burying her face into a stuffed animal and feeling the soft fabric become soaked in her tears, as she eventually drifted off to sleep…