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50 Kinky Ways Challenge #24: Dildos
Hyde shuffled into the room with eager obedience.
***
"What the hell is this?" Hyde inquired, more earnestly than the phrasing suggested.
"Isn't the arrangement elegant?" Gackt said, staring into the open doors of the curio cabinet with something like pride. "First, I separated them by their resemblance to their model by shelf. Each shelf is lined up by colour and length, ascending through the spectrum. I feel it draws attention to the subtle detailing of objects people are inclined to view only as a whole."
"This is a cabinet full of dildos." Hyde said in response to his own question, nodding his head though his eyes stayed locked to the spectacle before him. "Why do you have this?"
"'A cabinet full of dildos'? Hyde, don't tell me you can't see the beauty in these. So much work put into something that will likely go unappreciated. A singular art, indeed. I intend to showcase them as they deserve."
"You are crazy." Hyde said, again replying to his own inquiry. The shock was beginning to wear off, making way for a sort of injured disappointment. "Where do you get off calling me into your bedroom like that just to show me a bunch of plastic cocks? I was expecting something sexy!"
"... To be fair, these are, in fact, sex toys."
"This is a cabinet full of dildos. I don't think I've ever seen anything less sexy in my whole life."
Gackt seemed painfully disappointed. "Hyde, I confess I am very much disappointed by your reaction. I've never shared this collection before with anyone because I knew they would not be able to see what I see, but I thought you, of all people, could get past the taboo around these items and appreciate them as I do."
"I don't want to 'share' your 'appreciation' of them, thanks." The full implications of Gackt having a collection of these particular objects in his bedroom were only just sinking into Hyde's brain. "Jesus, close the doors, would you? They're giving me the creeps."
"Now, you see, this is exactly the sort of closed-mindedness of which I speak. Why be so threatened by these? Are they not simply an imitation of something you already have?"
"Don't say things like that!" Hyde cringed to cover the area in question as though worried Gackt would leap forward and steal it away to mount next to his other bizarre trophies.
"Work with me, Hyde. Try to see these as art. Take this one, for example. Look at the fine detailing of the wrinkles on the foreskin-"
"PUT THAT AWAY!"
"The vein along the bottom, you can almost see it pulsing in the heat of desire-"
"Put it back! PUT IT BACK!" Hyde was cowering behind his raised arms, nearly shrieking.
Gackt frowned. "This is ridiculous. You're behaving as though you've never seen a penis before, which your five o'clock shadow suggests is not true."
"That," Hyde pointed with one straightened arm, the very image of drama, "is no penis! That is a sick imitation of something real! It's just wrong! We shouldn't clone people and we shouldn't make fake dicks!"
Gackt gave him a withering look. "Well, that wasn't the voice of a man threatened by the size of an imitation cock at all. Tell me, Hyde, are you worried that with so many more impressive options available, women will turn from what you have to offer and take matters into their own hands, so to speak?"
"WHAT?! Of course not! You think that stupid thing can stand up to what I can do? Look at it!" He gesticulated in disgust towards what Gackt was still holding in his hand. "I mean, sure, it's a foot long, but the damn thing is baby blue! And probably all cold and plastic-y..." All right, so noticing how long it was was a little worrisome. Women didn't expect him to be... that big, right? That was just ridiculous... right?
"Actually, this one is covered with a state-of-the-art polymer called Cyberskin which, so long as it is kept dusted in baby powder, imitates actual skin remarkably."
Hyde said nothing aloud, although his expression communicated plenty.
"Come on, touch it." Gackt ran a finger up and down the length as if to demonstrate.
"No!" Hyde watched in morbid fascination as Gackt continued to pet the... Cyberskin.
"Just a little! It's really amazing, and I swear it's completely clean. I've never used them."
"Jesus! No!" He tried to imagine he didn't like the images that sprang into his mind.
"You're behaving like a pubescent girl. Now get over here and stroke this phallus." Gackt thrust it towards the cowering man before him, who jerked away and yelped as though the object was radiating an extreme temperature.
"Don't touch me with it!" He practically squealed.
Gackt sighed, lowering his weapon. "I can't believe how insecure you are."
"Insecure?!"
"I told you, you're so insecure about the implications of the possibility of penetration sex without the necessity of your anatomy that you can barely stand to see the offending object!"
"Whatever!" Hyde shouted, taking an aggressive step forward now that the aptly-put "offending object" had been removed from his path. "That motherfucker can't match what I've got!"
"Really?" Gackt said, voice and expression all smug amusement. "So you can make up in skill and talent what you lack in proportion?"
"You're goddamned right I can! And what the hell?! Are you saying I'm small?!"
"Anyone is small compared to this. With one notable exception." His smile became impossibly more self-satisfied.
Hyde leapt at him, thankfully knocking the toy to the ground, where it landed with a disturbingly meaty thump.
"Let's see that fucking silicone do this!" Hyde growled.
They never made it to the bed.
But fortunately, they didn't make use of any of Gackt's collection, either.