Chapter Text
1. Never Use the Big Light
Lights could be…overwhelming.
Frank noticed it that day, her first shift, how easily Mel accommodated and adjusted the lights for their patient.
“The ER can be an overwhelming place.”
And yeah, fuck. The ER could be overwhelming. And yeah, the fluorescent lights had a way of crawling behind eyelids and burning irises from the inside out.
Not that he ever really noticed, not really. Not until he was two weeks into his stay at rehab and the lights at the facilities’ rec area seemed to provide him a new hell on earth experience.Frank had little interest in reading the three year old medical journal one of the nurses managed to scrounge up to keep him occupied when he could barely focus on the words, and the lights did not make it any better.
That’s when the memory of Mel dimming the lights came back.
Her comment took root in his mind, toyed with–examined, analyzed, excavated– throughout the day and until his head hit the pillow. Sleep never came easily to him. Before rehab, during rehab, after rehab; sleep was an enigma he no longer desired to solve. So he spent most of those nights staring up at his popcorn ceiling and thought about that day.
During rehab there was plenty of time to ruminate and overthink every interaction, reaction, and comment made the day his life arguably fell to shit(–or fell into place, depending on how he decided to look at it.) It was only natural he thought about Mel every once and a while, one of her comments rotating back into his mind during the usual rerun of his last day. He spent a decent portion of that shift with her. Right? Right.
So it was only second nature that after he examined Mel’s head after her fall, that he'd dim the room’s lights.
And it only made sense that later that night, when Frank was once again awake in bed, looking at a different popcorn ceiling with a questionable tan water stain that he’d tap open his notes app–
- Dim lights. Never use the big lights.
No title. No other explanation. Just a bullet point. Not that he’d forget, but…
Lists helped.
Lists helped calm the mind, bring clarity, and provided a mental task. At least that’s what his therapist told him.
At least that was what he was telling himself.