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Today, 2:32 AM,
Heights Alliance - Yuuei.
There's one thing I haven't told anyone about the events in Otheon.
It's only been a week. A week has already passed. It feels like a century ago and a second ago... And I am right in the middle of this limbo of indefiniteness, unable to sleep, another night in a row. It's getting hot again. The sheets stick to every inch of skin they find, not a breath of air comes through the window, and All Might's alarm clock barely strikes two. It's the moment when I sit up with a sigh, wipe my forehead, and look at my phone — a foolish choice — just to confirm the inevitable. The action figures in my collection on the shelf look at me skeptically. Having sabotaged any hope of falling back asleep, I tiptoe out onto the balcony.
My thoughts are lost in vagueness and I with them, in the cool but not cool enough night air, and the silent and never judging stars.
I wonder what he is doing now. Ro...-
«Midoriya.»
«Hihh!»
As accustomed as I am to Todoroki-kun's unintentional ambushes, I nearly have a heart attack when he appears on his terrace three floors above me. Without needing to say anything else, he joins me, using ice and flames to move silently and elegantly from one dormitory balcony to another.
«Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.»
I shake my head. «I’m the one who’s sorry, did I wake you up? Was I talking out loud again without realizing it? Oh gods, if I woke you up, I might have woken the others too. And if I woke the others, I might have woken...»
The beast. The Lord of Explosions and Deadly Sleep. Kacchan.
I shiver in my sweat.
Todoroki-kun leans on the railing with me as he reassures me: «I was already awake. I saw you and thought you might need... company».
He says it almost like a question. And almost as if he's the one who needs it. He's just still a little weird at relating to people... Not that I can call myself an expert. If we mean “expert” at being weird, then yes, that changes everything...
The point is, it makes me smile sincerely. He moves his lips slightly upwards, and that's enough.
«I think that's exactly right, Todoroki-kun. Isn't it strange? Last week's mission destroyed us, yet we can't sleep.»
«I had sleep apnea again. Every night I relive the fight in the water with the Humarise villain. So today I was already awake and can't sleep.»
«Oh, Todoroki...»
This guy is absurd. He speaks with his usual calmness. I would have gone crazy at least ten times and called an emergency meeting of the vestiges of OFA in my head to beg them to stop making my body do things or I don't know. Things that have already happened, for the record.
«This isn't good. Okay, we don't know what normal is anymore since we set foot in Yuuei, but this isn't good. No, no. Here's what we're going to do now: first of all, Recovery Girl. Let's see if you have any traces of that quirk left in you, do whatever tests you need to do, and wait for advice. Then Shinsō-kun. Not because he's an expert on insomnia, I mean, I don't know, it's probably true, but I'm saying he can use his Brain Wash to force you to sleep and catch up on all your sleep, because sleep is important. We can also try that new psychological service, it's not like a quirk, but it kind of rummages through your mind and-»
«Okay. But breathe, Midoriya.»
My arm is gently taken by one of his hands. I was already pacing nervously across the balcony. «Right.»
«And we're not going there now. It's nighttime.»
«Right. Of course...»
There's a battle of stares before I resign myself. I retrace my steps, composed and defeated against the railing.
«But promise me that tomorrow morning, I mean today, we'll think about it. First thing we do. Maybe after breakfast, breakfast is important. Okay?»
«Midoriya.»
«Yes?»
My friend's different eyes spy on me from the side. There is neither reproach nor kindness. «Okay. But you'll never stop worrying too much about others and too little about yourself, will you?»
«What do you mean? I mean, maybe, I admit, sometimes I-»
«Something happened to you on the island that keeps you awake at night too.»
«Huh?»
A question that is already a statement.
The gasping strategy no longer works with him either.
«Uhm... Hit and sunk. Not literally!»
«Thank goodness.»
I snort with laughter. I find myself looking up at the stars again. «Yes, it's just that... Let's say you got it, about Otheon...»
We don't talk for a while.
We remain in each other's company like this, between the thoughts we would like to express but don't know how to begin and the thoughts that simply cannot be expressed. No, no.
Mine are more in the second category.
It could be more than one thing I haven't told anyone about Otheon and that... I'm jealous of keeping to myself.
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
I am bound to you
with a tie that we cannot break
with a night that we can't replace
I'm lost but found with you
in a bed that we'll never make
It's a feeling we always chase
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
A week earlier,
somewhere in the nation of Otheon.
«Hey, Rody. You have a quirk too, right? What is it?»
«I don't want to talk about it.»
«Oh, sorry.»
«Um. It's just that you'd laugh, otherwise...»
«I won't!»
«You. Won't. Laugh. Promise?»
«I promise I won't laugh!»
This was the evening when everything changed. The stop in a small, damp, uncomfortable cave, with a makeshift fire providing just enough light; Rody finishing changing my bandages and then threatening me with his finger a millimeter from my nose, and my question about his quirk which, more than all the conversations of the previous days put together, told me something true about him for the first time.
I had found myself in difficult situations in the past, including kidnappings, the yakuza, and encounters with evil itself... But here I was, investigating terrorists from a group called Humarise in a foreign land, losing my team, becoming a fugitive because I was mistaken for a mass murderer, fleeing to the border with a stranger, and who knows what else. It wasn't exactly ideal. So the short evenings when Rody and I sat on the bare ground of a makeshift shelter and planned the next day — I studied the maps and he grumbled in his sleep — became a moment of respite. I distanced myself from my situation. I imagined that I was planning a vacation trip to a beautiful island in the Celtic Sea and not my next few days of survival, that Kacchan and Todoroki-kun would be right there waiting for me the next morning. Sometimes, like this, I managed to get an extra joke out of my traveling companion, perhaps about one of his many misadventures that he seemed to have gone through, anything about his life, as if to convince us that we would soon return to those, our normal lives.
I settled down on my crossed legs facing Rody, giving him a grateful nod for the bandages around my chest.
He hadn't exactly thanked me for taking an arrow to the chest for him when, a few nights earlier, he betrayed me by handing over the briefcase to the Humarise villains — even though he believed they were the police — and became the number one target on their hit list... Perhaps because he was more concerned with understanding what was happening and passing out again as I flew away with him to safety. We didn't talk about it anymore. He bandaged me up — how had he learned? What had he really been through? — and I let him do it. As much as he acted tough, there was something transparent in this boy's gaze that made me understand his remorse, and no other words were needed.
Rody suddenly seemed to shrink into himself. I didn't know him well enough to say that it wasn't like him, but I thought so: he hadn't even acted like this when facing villains. Now, however, he was murmuring.
«My quirk is...»
The cute little pink bird that always accompanied him fluttered above his head. He looked up and snorted, moving the asymmetrical tuft of hair that had escaped from his headband. He blushed slightly.
«She is my quirk. Pino. Her actions... show my true intentions...»
I tilted my head. «Really?»
«Um. In short, no matter how much I lie, Pino always tells the truth. But it's not really a quirk, is it?»
Now I was no longer studying the canary chirping, flattered by the attention, but its owner chuckling at himself. «That's not true, Rody. Not being able to lie, always being honest... It's a wonderful quirk.»
The first time Rody really looked at me was a couple of nights earlier, after the villain attack. I had told him about my dream in life, about my mentor All Might whom I aspired to be like, about the inevitability with which I threw myself into saving others because it was the right thing to do. Even though he showed aversion towards those who call themselves “heroes”, I had impressed him with something undefined in my words.
The second time Rody really looked at me was now: when I told him that I found his quirk beautiful. I knew nothing about him, and it was obvious at first glance that we were different, we had nothing in common except perhaps our age... yet I felt that we were similar in one thing. The feeling of being unlucky and useless, expendable, ignorable, of not-having-exactly-a-quirk. I didn't feel it anymore, I had made peace with the skeletons in my closet, and maybe he didn't feel it or care about it either, it seemed more like a remnant of his thinking that he lived with, but...
These were just the conjectures of an overthinker, and it was this, not knowing but feeling a connection with him, that struck me the most.
«Aren't you coming?»
My new acquaintance had already gotten up, shaking off the awkwardness of the moment that I didn't understand with a hand through his hair. He avoided my gaze. He had his back to me, standing at the entrance to the cave. From my perspective, he seemed enveloped in the starry darkness. Pino, on the other hand, looked at me insistently and flapped a wing at an invisible spot next to his owner.
I apologized and joined him.
«The stars are beautiful tonight. Enjoy them, because the sky you'll see from tomorrow onwards could be the roof of a prison. Or the underground.»
«Rody...»
I scolded him, and we laughed a little.
In a couple of days, staying up late into the night had become a little tradition. We let the silence and vastness of the sky envelop us; the constellations, which I had never seen so bright, were billions of kilometers away from us and yet seemed so close, reminding us that it's all a matter of perspective and that we were never alone. I was surprised to find that I didn't feel uncomfortable for a second, even though I always talked too much. It was as if comforting each other like this, tacitly, implicitly, was enough.
I thought back to my companions. My eyes stung again, and even though I knew I wasn't alone, I felt a little lonely. Rody was good company, but...
«Do you miss your friends?»
He read my mind. I gave him a perfunctory smile and curled up more, looking at my shoes — the new ones for my disguise as a simple country boy, which he would have stolen if I hadn't insisted on paying with my last pennies before we left the last gas station and civilization behind. He had told me I looked like a sugar daddy and he didn't mind; I didn't know what that meant.
Rody also had people he loved to return to. He had shown me the photograph of his little siblings that he always carried in a pendant and had mentioned something about their situation in the suburbs of Otheon, although most of the time he just complained about how low he had sunk in his short life and how heroes like me should have saved him long ago, but instead... He couldn't even dream of a future. I had never been rolling in money, but having a parent who was always there and the chance to follow my dream seemed like such a privilege. I pushed the feeling away, because Rody kept saying he didn't want my pity.
«I miss them terribly», I concluded, «Just like you miss your siblings, I imagine».
«Everything will be fine. You'll see. I'm sure they're fine too. Your friends will be tracking us down, and my little siblings will already be in bed, after having made themselves dinner as I taught them...» A hesitation in that excessive optimism, and he cut short: «Go to sleep, buddy-cutie. I need a human navigator who's fully charged for tomorrow!»
The connection crackled again. “Everything will be fine.” Wasn't that what I always said — usually before wreaking havoc with my own hands? Even when it wasn't true, I tried to convince myself while bleeding inside. I avoided taking care of myself and my feelings, which closed in on themselves like a labyrinth, on me, without respite.
«You remind me of Kacchan.»
I spoke before I realized it. Rody stood up and looked down at me.
«One of my... friends. Kacchan is a nickname, don't call him that when you meet him, his name is Bakugō, Bakugō Katsuki!»
«Okay. What's this Kacchan like?»
«Oh, well, he's... peculiar. Mm-hmm. Hot-headed, difficult personality. Complicated relationship, he used to bully me because of the quirk issue, then we got closer and became rivals-friends, now everything's fine and...»
«So you're friends with your former bully?»
«...I like to think so, yes.»
«Wow. You, on the other hand, don't remind me of anyone I've ever known. You save everyone indiscriminately, you always see the good even in people like me, and apparently you're also a master of forgiveness. You're crazy. A masochist, buddy. Really? Do you love your ex-bully?»
«I- What? I mean, of course I love Kacchan, in the sense of affection, b-but you said it in a strange way-»
«What way?»
«Nothing.» And I closed myself off in my silence, which I foolishly can't keep up for more than a few seconds and do all by myself.
Rody sat back down patiently. He seemed to be saying, okay, my buddy-cutie, if you need to, we can talk about him, or anyone else. But him in particular.
The “cutie” was my imagination. But he often called me that, and now I was dwelling on it...
«I forgot that in Japan you can be reticent about these things. Listen... You're facing the last person who can judge you. Whatever ties you to this friend of yours is okay. There's nothing more to say. Now, you still have to tell me how I'm similar to this redeemed bully Kacchan, I just can't sleep without knowing.»
He made me smile less nervously. In hindsight, it was one of the simplest and most precious things he could have said to me, and it also spoke for itself.
«Right. You remind me of him because of what you did before. With the excuse of going to sleep, you dodged the conversation... because it touched on something personal. My Kacchan is like that too. He hates it when, even with the best of intentions, you make him feel small... defenseless, fragile. He lets you get close and then pushes you away. He acts tough even when he just needs to ask for help or a hug. As if the two things couldn't coexist and make him cool. I mean, that's how Kacchan is in my eyes.»
I looked up from my interlaced fingers. I moved them in front of my flushed face, meeting Rody's face, which was close, too close. «Forget it! I just meant that you don't have his personality. Luckily for you and me. But I think you're a bit alike in your stubbornness to hide who you really are behind your coolness. At least you have Pino to make up for it.»
That expression again. Thin, parted lips, large gray eyes. «Yeah... She makes up for it...» he added vaguely, letting his gaze slide to the little bird curled up between us.
I stretched out my index finger. Pino studied the damaged skin for a moment and then climbed on. She let herself be carried up to my face and shyly smiled back. «Do you understand why I say you're a wonderful quirk, little one? You help people to be... clear and open. That's good for those around us, but above all it's good for ourselves. We should all be able to fly free like you.»
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
I hate that you know
you can make me feel so small
Can't stop myself from falling back into you
We get so close then you pull yourself away
Maybe we just need saving
Come save me
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
In the days that followed, spent losing and finding each other again on the deserted roads towards the border of Otheon, the bond between Rody and me only grew stronger. Pino completed us, mediating between our quarrels and making us laugh in our moments of greatest despair.
A bond forged between irreplaceable nights, unmade beds, and strange feelings that, deep down, I had always sought.
Because when Rody took an interest in my life and gave me honest advice, I found the kind of friend I had never had before.
When he began to trust me and tell me his thoughts, I saw that apart from being very cool — and he was! — he also knew how to be transparent about the most negative things with disarming ease. If I had thought he was similar to Kacchan, I realized I was wrong. Rody wasn't afraid of being perceived differently from the appearance he flaunted... It was that he had no problem being different depending on the angle from which you looked at him. He didn't hide it, but rather didn't give everyone the privilege of seeing it right away. I didn't know then, and still don't know now, how much of it was related to his quirk and how much to his character, nor how aware he was of it, but he made being so sincere, irreverent, and outspoken, even about his flaws, seem cool. There was nothing absurd about him, which fascinated me about my companions, between their quirks and their manners... And perhaps the most absurd thing about him was his being. Like a feather. Light and free. Sometimes I thought it was just as he had said during our first meeting, as I chased him breathlessly through the buildings of the capital: in my dreams, that I was able to catch him.
And becacuse, when we unknowingly huddled together in the cold of the night — he mistook me for his siblings in his sleep — or when our hands touched for more than a moment, more than they should have, the connection sent a shiver down my spine and I wouldn't have minded if the closeness had continued, just a little longer...
Shit. It's not that... while I'm fighting for my life, I've have had a huge crush on a stranger who has shown me just a tiny bit of himself because I'm desperate or maybe it's just the situation but...?
«Hey, beauty! Are you sleeping here?»
I cursed him a little for his mischief. In this case, he had blinded me with the sun by taking my hat off my face. I was resting while waiting for him, lulled by the afternoon heat inside our “borrowed” hippie-style camper. Rody always drove because, after seeing the crazy way I flew, he refused to even let me try, and then every time he had any kind of vehicle in his hands, his eyes lit up. Around noon, we noticed an ice cream truck on the road. After making sure there was nothing suspicious or dangerous for our cover, we approached it. The owner was headed, like us, to Klayd, the neighboring country, and had had a mechanical breakdown and other problems that I didn't really understand, but I insisted on helping: being stuck there in the middle of nowhere with dead batteries would mean losing a whole day's earnings. At worst, it would mean saying goodbye to his entire business. And above all, to the ice cream. So, using the ice cream as leverage, I forced Rody to help him, while I returned to the camper to avoid attracting attention. To stand guard and collapse into the seat shortly thereafter.
My adventure buddy leaned in through my open window. His features gradually became clearer, along with a box he was holding under his arm. «Wake uuup! How are you going to save me, oh my hero, if you fall asleep like a log in a minute?»
This thing had gotten a little out of hand. Now he used it regularly to tease me.
«Mmmh... What time is it...?» I had to wipe my face — I was drooling in my sleep -, then I tried to focus on the cheap watch on my wrist, before remembering that it didn't work. It was just a prop chosen by my personal stylist, who also bought my clothes.
«You've been resting for a couple of hours, pretty flower», he said.
«I wasn't sleeping. No, no. I was dozing, thinking... Anyway, is everything okay with the ice cream man?»
«Sorted.»
«Great! You were fantastic! So, how does it feel?»
Pino fluttered above his shoulder, blushing, unaware of the boy.
«What? Working your butt off for two hours under the sun?»
«Being a hero. Helping out, behaving yourself for once?» I teased him back.
«Ha-ha... Well, nothing special...», he did his thing of shrugging his shoulders in embarrassment. «I only did it for the reward, I told you! The guy thanks us for saving his life and blah blah blah, and gives me a mountain of ice cream. Mostly because it's going to go bad soon, it's already melted.» His face darkened intensely. «And... we only have one spoon.»
Pino was more disappointed than all of us put together, she had tears in her eyes, and not tears of joy, when we sat down on the lawn and, removing the lid, found ourselves with a multicolored mush.
She was even more disappointed when Rody scooped up more than half of it with his bare hands, leaving her not a crumb... or a drop, for that matter. After all, it was our lunch.
«Sorry, friend, you know I love ice cream», he said, licking two fingers and dipping the remaining eight into it.
«Are you sure you don't want the spoon? Oh well, he's not even listening to me...» I laughed. «Pino, leave him to his love and come here, I'll give you some.» I picked up the mess and let the canary dip her beak into my spoon. I held my hand underneath to prevent the essential food from spilling, and rewarded her with scratches when she finished without causing any damage — certainly no more than her owner — eliciting a satisfied gurgle from her.
«Uh...» A sound from Rody caught our attention. He alternated his gaze between me and the canary, his expression contorted as if I had just made him swallow a whole lemon. I was about to ask him if he was already feeling the effects of his next obvious indigestion when he commented: «You two. You're strange. Don't ever do that again.»
«Do... what?»
«Flirting like that. It just so happens that Pino is like a part of me, what I feel she feels and vice versa, if you do weird things it becomes weird for me too.»
I blinked. I looked at Pino, she looked at me. I looked at Rody, his eyes incredulous at his own words, I blinked, I looked at Pino. I burst out laughing. The little animal with me and then Rody followed suit.
I didn't know why I was laughing. My brain was stuck on “flirting”. I was tense, and I was happy to be tense and to be able to laugh at something stupid while enjoying what was left of an ice cream with new friends without thinking about anything else.
Later, I would analyze more than just “flirting”. Rody had made a very important confession to me. An intimate one. But since we didn't always need words, the following hours made it clear.
We allowed ourselves to spend the last minutes of sunshine on that lawn.
The natural landscape of Otheon was amazing. The cold moments of the morning were wrapped in a blanket of light fog. Until around noon the fields were flooded with light and brightly colored flowers shone. The heat arrived suddenly, making us appreciate the breeze we caught at full speed with the windows down or the crossing of a cool river — where I invariably slipped and ended up drowning — or a sudden downpour that took us by surprise, which was also nice because there was someone else crazy enough to dance with me in the rain. At sunset, everything was filtered through a pinkish haze, and in the evening the cold returned and the blanket of sky seemed to envelop the whole earth and you with it.
So we stayed until a wonderful sunset, laughing and joking in the grass — Rody would steal my hat, I would knock him down, we would wrestle, or Pino would play at pulling the straps of my overalls and I had to chase them in the air with Floating — and in those moments I forgot everything and felt lucky.
With him, with them, I lost all sense of time and space. I could let myself go, like any other kid. No matter how abnormal the situation was. I removed the torment of the warrant hanging over my head, of Kacchan and Todoroki-kun without a partner, of others like Uraraka-san, my first friend, scattered around the rest of the world and worried about me, and even of the people in danger that I was there to save. The fact that I had to be a hero. If I wanted to teach Rody that being heroic wasn't bad, he taught me to be a normal person and, above all, free. Now I understood how he felt, and I felt even closer to him.
It was enough for me to exist for them. It was enough for me to be someone for Rody.
«Let's take a selfie», I suggested out of the blue.
Rody was still panting as he lay next to me. Doing parkour to save yourself and your loot from the cops is one thing, your fights to the death are another, damn it, man — he had complained a little earlier.
«Um... Do I need to remind you that it's better if we don't use our phones? And why do you want to-»
«To remember these moments.» I confessed with all the naturalness in the world, suddenly. «Come on, lend me yours! Please! They're not tracking that one, they don't know you're with me. Nobody knows.»
It's just us. That's what I meant. In the brief, intense exchange of glances that followed, our faces too-too-close as we turned toward each other and brushed against each other, I hoped he felt it too.
«Ah, the cops... I almost forgot about them...»
So Rody was feeling that too, the removal of everything else... And I took advantage of it: I knew he kept his phone in his right jacket pocket, so I stole it in a flash.
«Hey! You...!» he exclaimed, pointing his finger at my nose.
I caught it with one hand. «You're the one who taught me how to steal, cutie», I mimicked him, singsonging. «Could it be... that you're ashamed, by any chance? Is Rody embarrassed?»
Most of the time he was good at hiding his feelings — leaving Pino to carry the burden and make them obvious — but this time I could see it clearly. Rody was blushing. Flushing. «What? I'm not embarrassed at all! It's a stupid photo, it's just that... Don't laugh! You swore you'd stop laughing at me!»
«You too! Just stay still!»
A couple of minutes later, I was looking at the photograph I had managed to snatch from my... new friend. What's more, I had convinced him to take it himself, in exchange for granting him mercy in another fight to the death.
Back seated on the colorful blanket of leaves, I gloated to myself. «Look at your face! But looking at Pino's, it seems you weren't so annoyed after all! It's so cute! When I can use my phone again, I demand this photo, you absolutely must send it to me-»
«Deku. I'm non-binary.»
«Yeah, yeah... Wait, huh?»
It took me a moment to process that he had sat down and spoken. He fixed his gray eyes resolutely on mine. «I'm non-binary. I felt like I wanted to tell you sooner or later, and it just came out now. I just wanted you to know.»
«...Huh? What does computer science have to do with it?»
I waited for him to make fun of me because I'm Japanese and because I'm naive and don't understand, as usual. He didn't.
Yet I was serious too. I didn't want to make a joke, I genuinely didn't understand what he was talking about.
Endless moments of staring at each other.
Then Rody bit his lower lip. If I had gotten to know him a little, he was about to laugh, but his expression was so serious that nothing like that left his mouth. «You have no idea what I'm talking about, right? Identity, gender fluidity... Nothing?» He rubbed his hair, tied back in a messy ponytail, and started to get up. «I told you anyway. I feel fine now. Never mind, let's forget about it.»
«No.» I quickly grabbed him by the arm. «Tell me. I mean, it seems important to you. Please, I would like you to talk to me about it, Rody.»
«Um... Okay.»
Just like when he confessed his quirk to me, he wore the same open and fragile sincerity. I no longer saw it as a contrast to his bravado, but as part of his ease. This boy was not the most intricate of paradoxes like Kacchan, but the most transparent mosaic for those willing, without being frightened by obstacles, to collect all the pieces and look at them in the right light.
Why am I thinking about Kacchan? And by the way, where's Pino?
«I don't even know how to explain it to you in Japanese...» Rody chuckled softly.
Actually, the cultural barrier hadn't been a problem so far thanks to him: unable to rely on my broken English, we relied on his Japanese, which he had spoken fluently since childhood because of his father and his job at a Japanese agency based on the Atlantic coast of Otheon — at the time, we hadn't connected that it was Humarise, the same organization I was there to fight, but now I didn't care; all that mattered was Rody looking at me for a second longer, smiling, teasing me, pouting at me, telling me about his deepest self.
«I am biologically male. But I don't feel male. And I don't feel only male. There is... also a female part of me. I don't think you've noticed, but it's no coincidence that Pino is pink and female! And since my quirk always tells the truth about me... I've felt since I was a child that I was something different. Today, I think that defining myself as non-binary is what makes me feel best. I don't feel like a male or a female. Or maybe I feel like both. The point is, I don't want to be caged in one of the two genders. Not as biological facts, but as social constructs, I mean. I often think it would be easier for everyone if they didn't exist... Anyway, if I've confused you with this talk and if it's super weird for you, we can drop it, really, but I'd like us to stay friends. Ooof. Okay. You can talk now. Deku...? Have I broken you?»
«I... Wow.»
«Yeah. It's very wow stuff...?»
Oh, Rody. I didn't need Pino to understand that by scrutinizing me, really looking at me for the third time, he was looking for an answer. No... a welcome. He didn't care what I thought about it, he just wanted me to treat him like before and remain his friend. Maybe even stop gasping like an idiot to begin with.
And how could I tell him that in my head he was now a crush that had hit me faster than the Shinkansen and stronger than All Might's United States of Smash in his golden age? How could I tell him that yes, I found the conversation strange, something I had never come across before, and it only increased the feeling mentioned above — crush at first sight, the connection and boom, and I want to know more and I want to feel everything, about him?
«He...»
«Mh?»
«Rody, I've been referring to you as “he” this whole time.» We talked as if an eternity had passed, not just a few days. Honestly, I don't understand anything now, let alone then. «I mean, from the beginning. I considered you... a he. If I'm understanding this correctly, it’s a problem, it’s wrong? I'm really sorry. Forgive me.»
«Nah, don't worry, buddy-cutie- Stop! What are you doing, stop it!»
I performed my exaggerated Japanese bow. It made him uncomfortable for some reason. But it eased the tension.
Many things made sense: Pino being female, Rody’s haircut with bangs and a ponytail, Rody’s unisex clothes, certain ways Rody spoke. Many other things didn't make sense, I didn't understand them, with a mind that had always thought in binary terms — one of the expressions that Rody would unlock me about. I was interested. I was fascinated by the unknown. I wanted to know everything. Not just because it was new, but because it was Rody...
Rody’s hand around my shoulders pulled me up.
«I'm sorry», I continued, «So... Should I also talk to you as a she? But then I'm always using one of the two genders, and you said you want to be neither? How does that work? I have too many questions!»
«I see it...»
And finally, their eyes lit up again and we laughed together.
«All pronouns are fine with me. I won't be offended if you only use masculine pronouns, if that's more comfortable for you. I'm not saying that other non-binary people are too touchy, it's just that we have to remember that we all have different journeys and some people are sensitive about this. You see, in Japanese there are pronouns that are more neutral than others, or strategies for referring to a person without specifying a gender... as I just did and as I try to do to myself. In other languages it's more complex because gender is mandatory in many words and also doesn't necessarily reflect the biological or social gender of the person being referred to. My neighbors, the British, use they not only for “they” and strangers, but also as a neutral pronoun for non-binary people. It suits me too because, in fact, Pino and I are two people, we are a they...! But as I said, it's still a delicate issue because...»
We went on for an hour or more. Then in the car, while we were looking for a place to sleep and resigning ourselves to spending another night there, huddled together, then as we continued our journey, during our explorations, whenever a question popped into my head out of nowhere and Rody would gladly answer me with his naturalness. In less than a week, I felt I knew Rody better than anyone I had been close to in my entire life.
But first, there's one last thing to know about that day...
«Are you sure you want to be a pilot? I can also see you as a linguist», I joked at one point.
«Nah. You know... I prefer to use my tongue for other things.»
I gasped and blushed. First because I feared I had misunderstood... Then because I feared I had understood too well.
The slight mischief did not leave Rody's gaze even when he shrugged his shoulders with a fist and dismissed that remark with a «I was joking, cutie. How modest you Japanese are!» And so he only confirmed my thoughts, which at that point were not exactly modest. Ah! I don't want sexual fantasies in my head!
«Rody.» My cheeks still felt hot. My voice trembled a little along with my body, not only because the temperature was dropping and we were still like two idiots in an almost dark field in the middle of nowhere, but I would have continued the closeness forever. «Rody, so you like... girls? Or... boys? Or something in between?»
«Um?» His chin was raised, lost in the twilight. He often did that: during the day, he would pull over to watch a distant airplane, at night he would challenge me to see who could spot the most flashing lights in the sky. Rody was just like that, like an airplane or a distant bird in the clouds. He wanted to be free.
«If you're asking me how sexual orientation works... Let's say I'm gay. It's always complicated to define it since we don't have a single gender, so you can say we're homo or hetero depending on whether we match our own or the opposite, God how I hate binary thinking. Anyway, in my case, I can tell you that, since I look more like a boy than a girl and I prefer to refer to myself as male if I have to, and I like boys, gay is fine with me. It gets the point across immediately and, besides, I find it one of the most inclusive words in the LGBT+ spectrum, don't you? Hey... Have I broken you again?»
This time it was totally mocking, I swear. I couldn't help blushing violently again when, spontaneously — after all those words and that confession...! — he turned that look on me. With... curiosity?
Now I could think it: Ah! I don't even want homosexual fantasies in my head!
«Oh... Okay...» I lowered my gaze back to my hands.
Then I told myself to just do it. I had nothing to lose. It was just us in this moment disconnected from time and space, unrepeatable. To hell with Japanese reserve and being friends and all that bullshit.
«I like girls. And... Maybe...»
«Boobs or butt?»
«Huh?»
«Boobs or butt.»
«R-Really? Uhm... Both?»
«Heh. We have a connoisseur here. Why choose when you can have it all.»
I shook my head, my face growing redder and redder, and blurted out: «And maybe... I don't know if I like boys too».
I feared that my chirping had been lost in the wind. For a moment, I even hoped it had. But I was happy, blushing with happiness, at the response from the — biologically — boy in front of me: «Don't you know? Like, do you want to try? Have you never tried to figure it out?»
He wasn't surprised, and he wasn't treating me condescendingly or as if I were a total idiot. He talked about it as if he were discussing the weather. He was helping me and... perhaps challenging me.
The note was clearer later and would have been enough to paralyze my whole back. If my need for answers hadn't been stronger.
«Mhm», I denied loudly — embarrassed, but pleasantly so. «Trying to date someone isn't exactly a priority when you're training to become the greatest hero...»
«Trying to date someone... Your beating around the bush is killing me. Kacchan, right?»
If he hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have. Honestly, I realized that I wasn't thinking about my childhood friend at all anymore, and for once, I didn't want to, right now.
«Put aside the date anxiety, the romance, everything, and just think about whether you'd like to be with a guy. Pick him up, kiss him, have sex with him, the basic stuff.»
«Rody!»
I punched him and immediately covered my burning face. But I peeked through my fingers.
Rody sat back down, holding his shoulder. I always hit too hard... He laughed and continued: «After you've thought about it, just go for it. Because what you imagine is one thing, but what you experience will really tell you how you feel».
«What if I've been imagining that I really like Rody for days, what then?»
I had said it.
I imagined the saints All Might of all ages scrutinizing me judgmentally and even the vestiges of OFA next to them watching everything with popcorn in their hands.
But it was enough for Rody to be with me again to dispel any silly worries.
«You... Ah. Really? ... Ah.»
Sure, it wasn't much, but weren't we like that?
It was strange that he didn't expect it. As if it was fine as long as we talked about it in the abstract, but when it came to him, he didn't think he deserved the same things... liking each other, a little love. It confirmed to me that we had a new connection and that neither of us knew exactly what we were doing, but the important thing was that now it was just us.
«Okay. Listen, I...»
I leaned in to cup his cheeks in my hand and press my lips against his.
My first kiss.
A quick peck, a few seconds, my cheeks burning and my heart pounding in my ears as I realized what was happening.
«I'm sorry, I don't know if- did you want to? I just went for it. But maybe I misunderstood, I always do everything on my own-»
«Deku.» He rarely called me by my name, usually when one of us was dying or both of us were dying, so it was strange. And beautiful in this new light. He smiled slightly, with a hint of mystery. His flushed face was reflected in mine, as he took my cheeks in his hands and used a finger on my mouth to silence me. «It's okay.»
Those were the last and only words we needed.
I discovered Rody's kindness in drawing me to him again, until we ended up on top of each other in the grass, among the rainbow of flowers — without any fights to the death or nightmares in between to keep us from wanting to be close. In bringing our tongues together and caressing them. In guiding me on how to do it and in the freedom of who we could be, the two of us, together, here now and forever, outside the whole world, doing what made us both feel better. In the transparency we had learned together.
I think I also like being with a boy, a girl, both, and other things in real life. I think I like Rody, a lot...
As for Pino, we found her when we moved into the camper. She had been watching us the whole time, hidden behind the window curtains. I was afraid that if we hadn't arrived in time, she would have set everything on fire, she was so red. She couldn't look me in the face all evening, covering her little face with her wings every time.
While Rody cursed at her and justified that he wasn't that desperate way he saw me, I felt myself blushing in a different way for the first time.
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
I could write a book about the things you said to me on the pillow
and the way you think, and how you make me feel
You can feel my mind and move my body with the fiction, fantasies
Just call this what it is, we don't pretend it's real
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
The water murmured placid sounds, accompanying our slow movements with concentric patterns around our silhouettes. Our sighs merged into one another and our whispered words blended into the peace of nature. In the lake, as evening fell and crickets sang in the background, our bodies discovered themselves in calm impatience for a new explosion of sensations, touching each other for the first time.
I was... Oh gods, I was actually flirting and doing those things with Rody. Naked in a lake under the stars.
How did it happen? I had suggested we go for a swim that afternoon. I hadn't washed in a while and finding a body of water seemed like an oasis in the desert. A couple of days had passed since the connection had become real: the one about non-binary people not being about computer science and first kisses. As with the questions, the kisses were followed by many more.
In the constraints of our situation, he welcomed me into his life — he joked often like this... Rody and I were enough for each other. But the truth was that it would be our last day together. The next day, we would arrive at the Humarise base to face the unknown.
We had played in the water and lost track of time, and soon evening was approaching. Rody insisted on staying longer. It was cold, but he assured me he knew a surefire way to warm up. He pulled me in for a kiss, there, endlessly.
Even sweet, wet kisses were new to me. So was undressing so easily with someone and undressing someone else, with the secrecy afforded by the darkness and the water enveloping us, containing us, us and whatever we were at that point. We did it calmly, as if time were not actually chasing us, threatening to take away every moment, one by one, of what we were being.
In a dance of awkwardness and passion, I let someone touch me for the first time. My neck, my chest, my scars. In a different way than a fight at school, a hug from my mother, a doctor's visit, or one of my fantasies in dreams, which are one of those things you can't talk about. I wasn't ashamed of my damaged skin. Nor of the desire to kiss and touch more deeply, to fit our pelvises and wet chests together where the heart beats.
The day before, I was a boy saving his first kiss, the next day it just happened with a stranger who seemed to know me better than anyone else and I was... making love.
«Rody...» I found myself sighing, with surprise, when he touched a sensitive spot on my stomach, somewhere between my navel and the elastic of my underwear, the only clothing left to separate us. It was a slow torture, cold from the sensation of the water being moved around our bodies with every feverish movement, hot from the kisses. I no longer understood what he was doing to me, or perhaps I knew all too well; I just wanted him to continue. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my head in it, and continued to leave trails of kisses there. I wanted to kiss him everywhere. «Rody-chan... I have to... I want to...»
«God», Rody laughed. So close, his voice vibrated inside me. «Don't do your Japanese things or I'll stay.»
«Do what?»
«The “-chan”. If you call me Rody-chan one more time, I might not be responsible for my actions.»
«But you always call me “cutie”.»
«It's not the same thing. The equivalent would be something like... “baby”.»
A shiver, yet another one, ran down my spine at the warm whisper against my earlobe, which he immediately dared to tease lightly with his teeth.
«Someone here likes “baby”.»
«Please...»
We giggled together. Those indefinable laughs that make you look like an idiot but you do it because you're happy, before going back to kissing.
I didn't know what I was begging him for. I knew all too well. The contrast between the increasingly less accidental rubbing of our pelvises and the water sparkling against our extremities became pleasant, and it wasn't enough anymore. Between my legs, it pulled and throbbed like crazy. Between our simple «Do you want to?» and the looks that communicated the rest, it didn't take long for his hand to reach my intimacy and welcome it as it contracted against him, tearing a moan from my throat.
«Really? For a few kisses and a grope, Deku?»
«Ngh- You silly...» I didn't have much else to protest. I squeezed him in a desperate plea. «I beg you.» It was clouding my mind and everything, but I was convinced I had to tell him. That morning, he had given one of his speeches that I still found difficult to fully grasp, about how he was having one of those days when he didn't feel comfortable in his male body. I didn't want to do anything wrong; at the same time, I didn't want him to feel guilty because I ended up treating him with kid gloves and not going all the way. And he had taught me firsthand that the only way was to be honest. «Rody, can I touch you too? If it's not a problem with that thing you told me about... I don't want to push it, but... Please. I- I want you...»
I felt him smile against my cheek. But he pulled away, and cold shivers enveloped me. He smoothed his wet fringe and looked to the side. «It's complicated. Sorry if I'm not exactly normal and I'm making this weird. I'm not feeling it today. So if that's not enough for you, maybe it's better to end it here...»
I immediately searched for his hands in the semi-darkness, lit only by the headlights of the camper we had pulled up to the shore. I took them in mine. I didn't want to be the kind of person who hesitates when it comes to jumping into the fire to save someone, but when it comes to feelings, misses opportunities. «Hey, no, don't push me away. You'll always be enough for me. I mean, you're more than enough for me. You're too much for me, and I still can't believe this is real. But I want to understand, if you want to tell me; if not, that's fine too.» I caressed him and pulled him closer for a slow kiss on the forehead. I was discovering new gestures in myself that came so naturally. «Everything will be fine.»
Rody looked at me seriously.
He explained that he hated feeling that part of himself, but he felt it and it was better to listen to it in order to learn to love it, so the area from his shoulders down was off-limits today because it reminded him that he was biologically male, and today he didn't want to feel like a male or anything else, but he could continue to touch me — also because I seemed to need it so much.
I replied that I thought I understood, but in my head there was also a conflicting thought: if I didn't reciprocate, it felt like I was doing everything myself and exploiting him without even thanking him or conveying a little... feeling.
«You're too romantic, Deku.»
He gave me one of his enigmatic smiles.
Finally, he agreed: «Considering everyone's reasons, I'd go for a basic handjob».
«What... Rody...!» It was as if he had ripped my voice away. I covered my face at his cold, wet intrusion into my intimacy. Which was already wet, and not just with water.
«Yeah, baby?»
He blew mischievously into my ear and neck before licking it, while down below he began to masturbate me without much ceremony.
«N-Not like that... Ah! Ro... Rody-chan, please, I...»
«If I understand anything, even a little roughness pleases the innocent Deku. Then tell me if I'm wrong, baby. Look at yourself... perfect. Keep going, for me...»
It was true, I liked that kind of challenge combined with the explosion around my excitement and even more so in my head.
Everything was spinning.
I couldn't breathe properly, I could barely take in breaths of cold air when I wasn't busy biting my lips to keep from moaning uncontrollably.
I felt so close, and a moment later I realized I had come. In Rody's fist, between his kisses and nibbles on my skin, completely naked in the lake.
Even my first non-solo handjob. Wow.
«Wow... The camper...»
«What?»
«The camper, Rody!»
He protested at my slap between his shoulder blades. His embrace after that, after the orgasm, was even more beautiful, if possible, and I would have stayed there forever, I was still dazed... Anyway, I knew what I was seeing.
«Turn around. Look at the lights. Aren't they getting bigger?»
«What are you talking about? Okay, you're a strange guy too, but I didn't think a little good sex would be enough to...» Meanwhile, he pulled away and turned reluctantly.
The realization made our eyes widen in turn.
«Fuck, the camper is moving! It's going into the water, let's run, quick, fuck, fuck!»
Pino. It was Pino who had moved the camper, apparently falling asleep with the handbrake on.
How could a featherweight move a boulder? The dynamics were still unclear to us, but honestly, between the race with the family jewels in the wind — which Rody would beg me never to call that again with my fake innocent euphemisms -, the recovery of the vehicle in time with my Black Whip, the heart attacks we avoided, Rody's outburst, the first sneezes of a cold, I couldn't help but burst out laughing, dragging them along with me.
Late at night, I still couldn't sleep because I had to stifle my smiles. Then bigger thoughts took over and I couldn't sleep anyway, so it was better if I went back to that. Our last bit of foolishness. The last adventure and the last intimate moment in every sense together before the next day that would decide our destinies... the fate of- all this...
«Hey, aren't you sleeping?»
I was still there brooding when Rody surprised me. Also because the space in our very modest camper was what it was... pushing us into a pleasant forced coexistence that now, however, was forcing me into this state.
He sat down in the seat next to mine, in his driver's seat. He placed a torch on the dashboard and wrapped himself in the blanket. We only had one, so he had let me use it first to warm up, so I was already in my pajamas, which were exactly the same clothes I wore during the day; now it was his turn to use it while he dried his underwear. This task had been assigned to a chastened Pino in the back, equipped with an old hair dryer, unfairly exploited to pay for her mistake.
«You're not sleeping either, Rody.»
I turned and turned on the seat reclined backwards like a bed until I found the most comfortable position to meet Rody's face, who was imitating me in the meantime.
We looked at each other in silence for a long time. As if that were enough to share our thoughts, which, as the hours passed, turned out to be the same. From time to time, a faint, lost smile, a pat on the cheek from him or a tired sigh from me.
«Rody... What are we doing?»
«We're relaxing and trying to fall asleep, otherwise we won't have any energy tomorrow?»
I sighed again. I allowed myself to lose myself for a few more moments in the gray of his eyes — the only thing I would never tire of — and seconds turned into minutes.
What were we doing? I had never known love. Not in this form. I imagined that one day, once the problems with the League of Villains and All for One that threatened my country had been resolved, once I had finished academy... Once I had become a professional hero, perhaps defeated other villains and restored justice and defeated other villains in a story that might never end... One day, perhaps, I would allow myself to think about love. I didn't even know what it was exactly. Did the deep, stupid affection I felt for Kacchan or the impure fantasies on nights when I felt so lonely mean being in love? Wasn't love meeting up for crêpes and walking hand in hand? Confessing with red cheeks and a swollen heart and being reciprocated and cultivating that stable relationship every day for the rest of your life? Probably the stormy past between my mom and dad played a role in shaping this idyllic vision of mine... Anyway: why hadn't I experienced any of this? And now I found myself in love with a stranger? No longer so strange, after that...- Why had it all happened so quickly and confusingly? Couldn't at least this one thing in my stupid life go normally? And what would become of us afterwards? We were thinking about kissing when in a few hours we would be risking our lives against terrorists and, if all went well, we would each return to our normal lives, a normality in which our paths were divided.
«I'm afraid of tomorrow.» With a lump in my throat, I managed to say this.
«You mean today? Because it'll be the middle of the night.» Playing it down wasn't working for Rody either. But one thing was certain: I wasn't alone, and Rody not only made me understand that, but also feel it so clearly. He found my hands and squeezed them. «Hey. I'm scared to death too. I'm the one without a fighting quirk here! But everything will be fine. Repeat after me.»
Oh, Rody. «Everything will be fine...»
He greeted my uncertain whisper with the most beautiful smile in the world. Scared but brave, and sweeter than I had ever seen him. He let me hold and study his hand, tracing its damaged skin with my own, ruined by years of effort and self-imposed chains; he responded with our thing of playfully pressing a finger on my nose and stayed there, brushing my freckles to make me smile and pull us both out of our darkest thoughts. Was he coming to the same conclusions as me? Did they not touch him much, or did they destroy him as they did me?
«Let's look on the bright side. You taught me that, right? Tomorrow at this time it will all be over, and if we're alive, we'll be free.»
«But I don't want it to end», I confessed, the words coming out impetuously and confusedly. «I mean... Of course I want to settle things with Humarise, for you and your family and for the world. But I also don't want it to end, because it means we'll have to say goodbye... to this. To whatever it is that we are. I'm so glad I met you, Rody, you have no idea how much you've given me. I just wish it had happened in different circumstances and at the right time.»
Rody didn't answer. He pressed his lips together. He stroked my cheek.
Even holding his fingers, which comforted me in the absence of words, against my skin, or using mine to brush his hair aside and linger over his profile, were gestures I hadn't even thought about a few days earlier. It all seemed... surreal. Yet what I felt was real. It wasn't an illusion. I love Rody. I loved him and, oh, I was in deep shit, but it was so beautiful, I didn't want it to end.
These had also become habits. Like silently watching the stars at night. But, come on, how long would they last...? Were we telling ourselves a beautiful lie? Like I told myself to take it as a vacation, forgetting that it was a mission in which millions of lives besides mine were at stake? I didn't care much about mine when there were others to save. But I cared about Rody, about humanity.... Perhaps this lie of ours, in which we were together like normal, free kids, which I had considered until now to be our strength that brightened the dark days, was our downfall?
I welcomed Rody into my seat, and we remained locked in an embrace. It felt too much like consolation, the kind of sad consolation that makes you regret something you have because you feel it slipping through your fingers like sand.
I was about to fall asleep when I heard him.
«Hey, Deku. I guess there's no point in asking ourselves what we could have been in another place and another time. To use your words: why talk about the past and the future? Doesn't it matter what we are here and now?»
It was his turn to brush my messy hair aside and give me a light kiss on the forehead from above. I caught a glimpse of him in our reflections in the glass, and it seemed like the purest and most real thing in the world.
I rubbed my cheek against his chest. It was also to hide the tears welling up and all the things I still wanted to do and say, but there was no time.
«Rody, thank you for earlier too. In the lake under the stars. It was beautiful.»
«Don't thank me, it's embarrassing. You're embarrassing and too romantic...»
«It was beautiful.»
I smiled, rubbing myself against him and snuggling back into his embrace, which made me forget all about the cold. I fought not to give in to sleep, just to enjoy it a little longer. We would fall asleep in that position, cuddling all night long.
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
So don't make promises to me that you're gonna break
We only ever wanted one thing from this
Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
we only ever wanted one thing from this
Oh, in another place
in another time, what could we have been?
Oh, in another place
in another time, what could we have been?
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
Departure day,
Otheon airport.
We came from worlds that were too different, and we belonged there.
What future did we have? Could love overcome even this? Rather, it was a fantasy, a crystal promise destined to shatter because behind the idyllic lie, we knew what we had wanted from all this. We had simply needed someone in a difficult situation, to think about something else and to have human comfort. It had turned into a few kisses and hugs on nights that were too cold. Period. Now we had to get back to reality. I, for one, had to remember that Rody was a civilian to be saved in order to really succeed, and nothing more. When feelings got in the way, it became tremendously complicated, and I always risked ruining everything — my thoughts turned to Kacchan, seeing him again after days of not thinking about him, and it felt like I had betrayed him and also betrayed myself or the Deku I was before all of it. On the other hand, I couldn't get it out of my head that even if it was all fleeting, it was enough that it was real in those moments when Rody really looked at me. Because it seemed that way to me, and very much so...
Our relationship remained suspended until the battle against Humarise. Confined to those few days away from the world that were like sand through your fingers.
From there, the events are well known.
I reunited with Kacchan and Todoroki-kun. We deciphered the secret of the briefcase and the information left behind by Rody's father, who had given his life for it. We discovered the locations of Humarise's headquarters and the imminent terrorist attacks aimed at detonating the quirk factors in their owners around the world, in order to create a new humanity without powers. World Heroes' Mission teams stationed everywhere evacuated civilians and tracked down the Trigger Bombs. Mine, under Endeavor's solid leadership, stormed Otheon's central base where the trigger device was supposed to be.
I reached its depths and confronted the leader, Flect Turn. Feelings definitely got in the way when Rody tried to give the villain the pen drive we needed to defuse the bombs in exchange for his family's safety: I felt betrayed, like that first night and the briefcase, but much more so, because it also called into question everything we had been in the meantime. I understood his reasons, I would even have forgiven him, I knew that. It just hurt. But Pino showed what a wonderful quirk she was, revealing to me without being seen that this was not the truth and giving me the perfect timing to take advantage of Flect Turn's distraction. While I kept him busy one last time, Rody and Pino dragged themselves to the control tower and stopped the attack. They had saved the world. A little by accident, like me, they had become the greatest of heroes.
I told Rody this when I went to rescue him, blood and tears between our bodies locked in an embrace. I will never forget, before he lost consciousness in my arms, our sincere laughter that joined together as one.
It's so strange how priorities are turned upside down.
The thought tortured me endlessly. It stuck in my head until we got to the airport, where I realized I had to let it go. Along with everything surreal that had happened and, even though I didn't want to admit it, of course, Rody and Pino. During the customary hospital stay, Kacchan, Todoroki-kun, and I had spent time with them, met the little Soul siblings, celebrated, and left various gifts from the entire team of heroes, as the gruff Endeavor had recommended. Oh, and we had returned the hippie-style camper we had borrowed. But clearly, it wasn't the same thing. I wanted another moment, and another, and another, just with Rody, and I thought about that when I had already said goodbye to him.
«Hey, buddy-cutie.»
Immersed in the hustle and bustle and the different languages overlapping at the airport, I feared I had imagined it. I turned around.
«Rody!»
I ran towards him, ignoring the luggage that made me clumsy and bumped into my legs. He was leaning on a crutch, but otherwise he was as cheerful and irreverent as ever, and Pino was fluttering happily behind him.
«Weren't you supposed to be discharged from the hospital the day after tomorrow?!»
«They said I'm fine already.»
Even though he said it while almost slipping and falling on the aforementioned crutch, I was so relieved. «I'm glad...»
«If I had kicked the bucket like that, though, I would have become a legend.»
«Don't say things like that.»
I couldn't joke around. I couldn't say anything other than the usual lines. My throat was blocked, my eyes were stinging. Come on! Was that all there was to it? I still had so much to say and do with Rody.
«Hey. What are you going to do now, Rody?»
He lost himself looking out the large windows, captivated by a plane taking off. «Um... Go back to my normal life. Obviously, I'm not choosing a simple or interesting one, but both.»
Typical, I thought, smiling happily and already feeling melancholic. I wondered if he was also referring to what had happened between us and if there would be room for me in his normal life.
A female voice announced my flight number over the loudspeaker.
«It's time to go», I commented, feeling detached from myself.
«Don't ever come back to Otheon. Seriously, when I'm with you, nothing good ever happens.»
While Rody spoke neutrally and looked stubbornly to the side, Pino burst into tears on his shoulder, soaking his jacket.
«Become a hero in Japan. And live the rest of your life too, that's important too.»
In less than two seconds, I was hugging him. Between the suitcases abandoned on the ground and his crutch falling with a dull thud, my tears joined those of the little bird on his shoulder. «I promise I'll come back to visit you... And- And...»
«Don’t ever come back.»
For the second time since the events at the Humarise base where he risked his life, Rody cried. I saw this facet of his clear mosaic for those willing to look, to take on all of this intricate being and stay. I liked to believe that this time he wasn't crying thinking about his family and death, but was showing all this just for me.
«So... Your friends are giving me dirty looks from up there on the stairs, especially that Kacchan guy, so... You have to go.»
«I have to go.»
I held him for another minute, maybe two.
He had to pull me away by force.
He chuckled at our tears, commenting that we looked like two idiots, and looked at me for the last time of the countless times there had been, and it felt too much like goodbye and it sucked to talk in the past tense. He turned his back on me. And it seemed too surreal and incomplete, just like I felt inside.
That's when I told myself it couldn't end like this. I understood what I was feeling, and I would have thrown myself into it a thousand times over.
«Wait.»
I took him by the hand. I dragged him away.
I didn't know exactly where I was throwing us, me and them. I wanted a secluded place. I wasn't worried about my team seeing us — how was Kacchan looking at me? Before Otheon, I would have given gold for something like that, but after Otheon, I was surprised I didn't care. I wasn't worried about them or the rest of the people. I wanted to be alone with Rody one last real time.
Oh, the correct expression would be “before and after Rody”. In just a few days, my priorities had shifted so much that a stranger had become the center of my world and my breath, and I was throwing myself into some bathroom stall to pounce on his lips.
We had to fight each other and the idea of pulling away to catch our breath. Rody gasped: «Woah, calm down, cutie... Not that I minded, but do I owe this to?»
«I couldn't let you go like that, without... I don't want it to end, Rody, I don't want...» and I mumbled something else confusing that I don't even remember.
His amused smile gave way to a sweet one. Like the one on our last night in the camper — the unfortunate camper that had been through so much with us and now everything was just about to disappear. He cupped my face in his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs. «Hey, hey... It'll be okay. You won't forget me so easily! Listen. Even though we met at the wrong time and in the wrong place and we can't... be together,» he pointed a finger at my forehead, «we'll always be here,» he pointed at my chest, «and here. We'll write to each other, call each other, visit each other and all that. Everything will be fine. Right?»
«Right...»
«Good. Was that romantic enough for you?»
I let him take me back with a pat on the tip of my nose. Rody let me kiss him endlessly.
Let's not make promises we can't keep. Let's not paint pretty lies to erase the fact that we only wanted one thing from all this. There was an “us”, but there can't be. For a brief, fleeting period, we were one. We loved each other. At least, I was convinced I loved you, you were all my first times. Maybe you never felt love for me, maybe not even I, who fed on words that were too big, we just liked each other. You always reproach me for being too romantic. But whether it was love or not, it was real and special. It is special here and now, if we stop wondering what we could have been somewhere else and at another time and if we cling to the present. We will always be bound by our experiences, which we will carry within us. And so I want to live you fully again...
I thought all this, even if I didn't say it out loud. It's really hard sometimes to put words together, and on the other side of the world I had found the person who understood me best without speaking.
My head was spinning with thoughts and lack of oxygen. For my last first time, I knew every inch of another person's body — I liked to think of their heart too — as I had never known anyone else's.
Rody had been right when he said at the lake that he expected a little roughness from me: I found myself seeking it in increasingly rough kisses or in the fervor with which I held him against the wall. He sighed with a groan when he hit the wall with his back. His crutch had fallen, but I had supported him in my embrace. Just as he had taken care of me in the cave, I had protected him with my quirk during the journey, and I would always continue to be strong for both of us. And I would always continue to want both of them and more, a girl, a boy, and anyone else, if it was Rody.
He pulled away from me, laughing. «Slow down, stud...»
«Why choose when I can have it all?» I remembered his words during our mutual coming out. He had teased me with them, but they were also so true for me. «I want it all one last time. Here and now. All of you, Rody.»
«Oh...» He stopped. His gray irises wandered over my face. He must have studied my cheeks, so red that my freckles were lost in them, my gaze steady.
«Ah.» He blushed, realizing that I was more serious than ever, even in that fog that made me anything but lucid. And I needed to...
«Do you want to have sex here? Now? Are you sure?»
«Any answer to that if you want to too.»
He bit his lower lip. He smoothed the tuft of hair on his forehead, torturing it. «So I created a monster.» I knew I was embarrassing him, but I couldn't contain it anymore. Then: «Okay, um, if you want to go further than last time, we better clarify something. I'm fine. For sexually transmitted infections and everything. I got tested recently and haven't had any other partners. As for you, since it's your first few times, there's no problem, right? Anyway, just to be safe, it doesn't hurt to get checked when you get back to Japan, okay?»
«Ah-ha.»
Honestly, I knew it was important, and I was grateful that Rody was more knowledgeable and concerned about it, because it was the last thing on my mind right now — if there were any other thoughts left besides Rody, Rody, just everything about Rody, all for me.
«Okay. So... What exactly do you want to do?»
«I don't know yet. I just need you to stop talking to me about Japan and everything else. We'll figure it out as we go, together. I just need you so much.»
«God. You're really going to drive me crazy. Come here.»
He grabbed me by the tie and pushed me against the adjacent wall to guide a deep kiss. He pulled it and my shirt out of my pants; my Yuuei uniform jacket ended up on the ground, getting dirty just as I was dirtying my innocence and my heroic spirit, which had to think on its feet, about the guys waiting for me on the other side, to return to my country to protect it, instead, my mind was stuck on the image of Rody here and now, leaving a kiss on my burning skin, on my chest that rose and fell excitedly and was already sweaty with every button he undid.
«Rody. Can I... Mh... So today is okay? Can I touch you too?»
He paused, kneeling, looking up at me, my hands on his face, anxious not to lose any contact for more than a moment. Of course, it was enough for me, but I also wanted more — the usual short circuit in my head.
«Today is better than other days. Thank you for asking directly.»
«Really? Yes? Then... I don't want it to be a one-way thing. In fact, I want you to like it first and foremost. If I do something wrong, let me know...»
He looked at me with a flash of curiosity as I helped him back to his feet and leaned him against the wall. I repeated what I had learned about flirting and making those things. What he had taught me between ear bites and kisses from my neck to my stomach, undressing him for the first time myself; then kneeling there, cramped in a public bathroom, swallowing in front of a fly and the prospect of my first blowjob.
I could always rely on my mental notes taken from what I would have liked, and from manga and adult sites I had accidentally stumbled upon while wandering through forums about heroes... which had shocked me a little and also... well...
No: I would do it by feel. Mine and Rody's.
I pulled down his pants. His underwear. I studied his member for several seconds, barely touching it with my fingers and breath, patiently until it began to stiffen at my touch. I took it in my hand, from the base and up. Again. I moved my face closer to moisten my dry lips and rest my tongue on its tip. I repeated this, tasting a little more each time. With each new flat touch of my tongue, it reddened and I remained attached to it by saliva alternating with the little kisses I began to dare. It tasted strange, different. Not that I knew exactly what it tasted like-
«Too slow... De-ku...» Rody's voice was cracked.
So caught up, I was forgetting to check on the mood of the... owner. I looked at him: he had brought a hand to his mouth, but it didn't cover his full eyes peeking out above it and the blush spread across the rest of his face. I foolishly thought it was the most beautiful sight of my life.
He shook me, a new pleading tone: «Stop, please...»
«Are you okay? Am I doing something wrong?»
«Don't you dare move from there. I just wanted to... look you in the eyes. And tell you to stop playing games and hurry up, damn it...»
He laughed nervously; I apologized and imitated him before returning to my work. So Rody was enjoying it... He could even be romantic, almost...
A few minutes later, I had taken about half of it into my mouth when his hand reached for mine. He took it and guided it between his more open legs to his buttocks. «If it's okay with you», «If it makes you feel good, it's okay with me too, Rody» and he brought it to his lips. He sucked on two of my fingers and looked at me intensely. He pressed them back against that entrance, until I was immersed in it, knuckle by knuckle, muffled moan after gasp.
His expression was truly out of this world, and that sucking did the rest. Oh, well, I could be vulgar at this point: my cock hurt enormously. Until now, I had taken it slow so as not to lose anything of the moment, suspended in time as we were. I had focused so much on Rody that for a while I had managed to ignore the erection that was too tight in my clothes, but the fact remained that this was the last drop of self-control. And Rody had drained it with those eyes.
«Hey... Someone needs help here...»
Rody balanced himself on his good leg. He took off his other shoe and rested his foot there. On my pants, between my legs, kneeling for him even though they hurt, on my exploding cock.
«Ngh- Rody!» Caught off guard, I recoiled, his erection bouncing and rubbing against my face, mirroring the movement of his foot on me. It would have been comical, if it hadn't been so exciting for my poor friend down there.
Between the saliva and his throbbing length, I fixed my free eye on him with determination: «It doesn't matter. I can resist. I just want to focus on you».
«Cut the crap.» Rody sank his hand, which wasn't holding onto the wall, into my hair. He caressed my warm cheek, a reflection of his own. We were both exploding with beautiful embarrassment and excitement. «I'm telling you. I want you to do it. Baby... Get naked.»
And I would have reciprocated with all the “Rody-chan”s in the world that I had held back until then and that would have come later, if I hadn't been too busy.
It must have been my kind of kink for constraints of all kinds and for orders... One of those things you can't just say...
In short, I couldn't because I was busy with my mouth satisfying his erection, now licking, now letting him rub it in my face to caress its base, now taking it all greedily with the thrusts of his pelvis; with one hand between his ass and my fingers inside him; and with the other hand jerking me off furiously.
Rody Rody Rody.
I filled my head with Rody as I filled my throat with Rody, and it would never be enough. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop repeating his name and feeling him with me forever.
Rody was pure beauty. I could have stayed there on my knees worshipping him forever. But after the calm came the storm. I went too hard. To hell with holding back the passion I felt before... I loved him so violently.
And even though I wanted it to last forever, I came quickly — too quickly. I think just before Rody came too, helping himself with his hand to reach me, filling my face more than my mouth.
I swallowed his taste. All of Rody.
When the bright and dark flashes stopped crossing my vision, I managed to get back on my feet. Even though my sore knees were shaking, I managed to support Rody too.
I brushed my forehead against his. I returned his disjointed, drunken, and exhausted smile, which joined mine in turning into laughter and then into another pause to catch our breath.
«Wow. Are you sure you've never done this before, little Deku?»
«Did you like it? Are you okay?»
«To death.»
Me too. I allowed myself to reflect in the shiny gray of his eyes. Another second, just another second...
And my breathlessness turned into tears and a choked voice.
«I do love you...»
«You don't love me, Deku.» His lips pressed together enigmatically. He caressed my freckles one last time and said: «But it was all beautiful».
A few minutes or more of confusion passed. I knew I found myself cleaned up and dressed as best I could, still breathing heavily, staring at Rody who, a short distance outside the cabin, was rinsing his hands and redoing his ponytail in the mirror. He muttered something like: it was a bit of a shitty idea, even if we're clean, who knows how many other germs we've picked up. Now he was grumbling that, damn it, we'd lost track of time again, that he hadn't survived Humarise to be killed by your fellow heroes who act as your bodyguards and also a bit like your harem.
Leaving that aside... He reminded me of the evening at the lake. Why did it always have to end so abruptly between us? And what did he mean by “You don't love me”? His last kiss was so true, just as I liked it, silencing me and my words or me and my whirlwind of thoughts, lightly on my forehead, which I spied on in the mirror as if to preserve it more from every angle — hoping that the conviction of having known all those facets of the clear, free spirit that was Rody would not be broken.
«What are you still doing there, dazed? You have to go back to your boys, they'll be jealous. Your boss, on the other hand, will already be foaming with rage. I have to find Pino to escape in time.»
«Ka-Kacchan and Todoroki aren't my boyfriends! Pino wouldn't have followed us...!»
His usual playful tone reached me muffled. So did my answers: I was there but I wasn't there, my mind still stuck on us outside of time. He had to take me by the arm and lead me away while he answered something else, laughing. It was Rody who dragged me away for the last time, and perhaps I couldn't have had a better last image.
No, Pino had respectfully remained at the entrance to the public bathroom lobby. She gave us suspicious looks, which sometimes seemed downright offended, during the minutes it took me to find my travel group, and she played hard to get when I tried to give her one last hug.
«Hey, cutie... Don't come back to see me. Don't even think about it. Because I'll be the one to catch up with you, flying my first plane or something! Right? I'll believe in my dream. In the meantime, keep saving me and the world and live the rest of your life, which is important... My hero.»
Rody left me like that. One moment there were them and the mischievous smile on the lips still swollen with us, the next moment the emptiness of the crowd.
It didn't matter what excuses I gave Todoroki for my sudden stomach ache, Endeavor's anger because we had to wait for the next flight, or even Kacchan's even greater anger as he crushed my shoulders and hair, shouting the worst things at me and his hidden concern about where I had ended up and “with whom, that cheap, self-important loser”…
What mattered was me, my love at first sight with grey eyes, my first times, my feelings, my emptiness and my first broken heart, which I left all behind on an island.
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
Feels like something's special but it never felt like love
Wonder what we could be living in another life
Catch us in the mirror and it looks a lot like love
Then you stop me talking as you kiss me from above
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
Today, 2:38 AM,
Heights Alliance - Yuuei.
I could write a book about Rody. So many things have happened and so many things he has made me feel, and it wouldn't be enough to contain it all. Rody and his confessions in an unmade bed, Rody and his kisses on nights that will bind us forever, Rody and his getting under my skin and into my head, Rody and our connection that was real, Rody and his ways of doing and thinking. Rody Soul and his being transparent and elusive at the same time, light and free. Like a feather.
«Why don't you write to him?»
Rediscovering Todoroki-kun next to me, on the balcony of my room late at night, makes me jump. How long had I been lost in memories? — the first real glances, the ice cream and the evening on the lawn, the lake, saving the world together, the farewell at the airport, a few minutes to retrace what seemed like an entire parallel life.
«Huh?»
«That guy from Otheon, Rody. You were thinking about him, weren't you? Ever since I asked you what happened on the island to you that you couldn't sleep. Write to him. Considering the time difference, it might be almost dinner time over there.»
Oh, Todoroki... He...
Before I can even think about backtracking, my friend retrieves my phone from my pajama pocket — it's essential to know that All Might's new one has really convenient pockets...
We soon discover that he's right. Rody responds quickly when he sees my message. We manage to chat for a while. We tell him about our sleepless night, while he updates us on his day: he's exhausted, between studying late yesterday and working at his uncle's bar today; he'd like to video call, but his house is chaotic, his siblings are cooking and he doesn't want them to get distracted or it'll be the end of him, and we promised to meet in person next time, right?
"Haven't I shown you their artwork in your honor yet?" he then writes and attaches.
Todoroki-kun alternates his two-toned gaze between me and the photo. He opens his mouth. He closes it again.
Then: «It's pretty ugly. Am I really like that?»
As for me, I'm already laughing out loud and continue to do so for what feels like an eternity. How I needed that...
"It's so cute. I'll print it out and keep it in my room. Thank your little siblings from the bottom of my heart!" I type with trembling fingers, my stomach cramping.
"It's pretty uglypdjkssn"
«Todoroki, nooo!» I desperately throw myself at my friend, who has taken my phone again to have his say, but it's too late and the message is sent.
«Am I really like that?»
«Not at all, not at all!»
My reassurance isn't enough, and he also has to seek reassurance from our peer on the other side of the screen, who in the meantime has filled up with skulls — and I have to explain to Todoroki-kun that the emoji stands for “death from laughter” and we launch into a discussion about whether if you have to laugh yourself to death, then it's better to just laugh a little less and not die.
"Actually, my siblings agree that you're the coolest", "Don't worry, it's just that they're terrible at drawing".
It makes me smile that Rody quickly understood what kind of person Todoroki-kun is and is good at talking to him. If he were here...
Then comes: "Deku is the cutest, as always.".
My cheeks feel warm. Partly because of the ambiguity, partly because of the pleasure.
Under the contact's name, "typing..." disappears and reappears a couple of times, until it disappears completely. He's gone offline. I'm here, still red-faced and stuck looking sadly at a finished chat.
I know that distance isn't the end of the world and that we can remain friends — you said “You don't love me” partly because you hoped I hadn't fallen in love with you, partly to convince us both, and maybe it will hurt less. But if only you were here, Rody...
«Oi. The hell are you doing.»
The hoarse voice sends shivers down my spine, from top to bottom. Not with pleasure. Kacchan has appeared, I don't know when, he just materialized here. He slams my French window shut, just to hide his fury, then stares at me and Todoroki-kun for what feels like an eternity.
What is he doing here? Why is he coming this way? From my room... Was he looking for me? Was he also unable to sleep and wanted some comfort? Is this all a movie of mine and did he actually wake up because of us?
Oh well, I'll never know. In any case, now he's going to kill us.
They say that when faced with angry wild animals, you should stand still and not breathe, but I don't know how long I can do that...
Todoroki-kun greets him nonchalantly and apologizes for waking him up. Then he answers all his questions: his difficulty sleeping after recent events, our chat with Rody. He also takes the phone from my paralyzed hands and shows him the drawing of the Soul siblings.
The worst? It's yet to come. Kacchan takes it to get a better look, and I notice his thumb scrolling and his sleepy eyes illuminated by the screen, following it lazily but attentively.
Why didn't my Danger Sense activate?! I haven't unlocked it yet, but this would be the perfect situation, I mean, more dangerous than this...! I leap towards him and struggle to get my phone back before he sees... things. I don't know if he's scrolled through the pictures or the messages, and I don't know which of the two prospects makes me panic more, between the scattered hearts and...
«What's this?»
Kacchan shows us a picture. It was received a few days ago, when Rody sent it to me. There, light on dark, bright pixels on black invading the entire available surface in ultra HD, are the two of us lying down and hugging in the grass, smiling at the camera.
Has Kacchan already killed us and I'm getting my personal retribution? Let’s understand.
I wish I wasn't so bothered. I mean, it's an innocent selfie. What does it matter if he sees it? It matters because there are things at stake, like my feelings and, I don't know, the idea that he might be jealous, as Rody joked — but not really... it makes me feel something in my stomach. But it makes me feel so even more the fact that he's looking at that photo. Because first of all, I'm the one who's jealous. Of Rody. He can stew in his supposed jealousy without knowing everything... For once, I wish Kacchan wouldn't meddle in everything in my life.
And I'm praying to all the All Might saints that he doesn't scroll any further because he'll come across a certain stolen shot of me kissing Rody while he's sleeping...
Todoroki-kun is keen to express his opinion: «Why don't you want us to see it? It's a nice photo. You look good in it».
Kacchan mutters a «Nobody asked you, Half-Bastard».
«So,» he continues phlegmatically, «while we were racing against time or we would have soon given you up for dead on that island, you and Rody spent your days traveling and taking nice pictures».
«Todoroki-kun, you should be on my side!»
I get the impression that he's enjoying himself more than he should. And that he knows more than he lets on. I love him, but he's disturbing at times.
I mumble something after grabbing my beloved phone again: «That's not true. We really did risk dying, for the record. Several times. Villain attacks. Crashing into a cliff during a storm. Even being arrested by the police. Being beaten up by shopkeepers...» I shake my head. Too much information. Holding it to my chest, I curl up on the cold terrace floor. As I clean it, I linger as if caressing the photo. «It's just that... at that moment we needed to distract ourselves a little...»
Did we just want to distract ourselves a little? I refuse to reduce Rody and me to that. But it's so precious and part of the things that can't be said. No, no. It's enough that my heart knows the truth.
I was so scared back then, far from my team in an unknown land and facing a completely uncertain fate. Maybe the photograph misleads my friends about what I really went through and how I experienced it. On the other hand, I can never put myself in their shoes — a part of me wants them to have suffered my absence, especially Kacchan and his pride in not admitting that over time we have become something and in a strange way he cares for me as I care for him. The point is, without Rody I wouldn't have made it. Regardless of the new and different feelings that arose from it, he was my anchor. That's another reason why a trivial photo is important, and I hold it jealously. What happened on the island can remain isolated. Not in the sense of that past time and space, because Rody and I will always remain in the present for me — as we said to each other the last time, in our heads and in our hearts — but in the sense that it can remain isolated and enclosed in my heart. My stupid heart, which is also a little scarred.
Something hits my foot. My new All Might sock...- It was Kacchan with his bare foot. I don't know how he can walk around barefoot, he always does it in the dormitory. It must be something to do with his quirk and his body heat. In fact, I need to look into this detail for my notes...
«Oi, Deku.»
I don't even know when my two friends sat down with me, lost in memories again.
Kacchan stares at me for a long time. He's been doing it for a while. He's even forgotten to kill me and wears his rare flat, curious, and focused expression, the one he gets when he's studying you, thinking something profound, and getting right to the heart of it. «Thingy was more important to you than you ever told us. Right?»
I don't hold his gaze. Not out of shame or because I feel guilty, I'm past that stage: because it's true and I want it to stay that way, I want to keep it to myself. Maybe one day I'll tell him, but for now it's my secret. I haven't had one since OFA, and I don't want to shout it out to Kacchan, using it, wasting it so that he understands me and maybe sees me in that different way... which now only I know what it consists of, having experienced it and having it all to myself.
I smile and whisper the confession that, deep down, is unnecessary. «Yes...»
«Okay.»
As if I needed his approval...
«Let's send him a photo then.»
«Yeah, good idea», echoes Todoroki-kun. «That way his siblings will have a model to draw better.»
I don't think that's why.
«What? Why, Kacchan?»
«Do you need a reason? What he said.» He growls an excuse. He sits closer to me, bumping into me, shoulder to shoulder. He takes out his phone and scrolls through pictures of the three of us in his gallery. I'm surprised at how many he has. Oh, inaccessible, paradoxical Kacchan. He cares.
The next five minutes are filled with bickering. Todoroki-kun suggests cutting out the latest class photo. Kacchan counters with the photo shoot of Yuuei's outstanding students from a while back — in one, Todoroki makes a victory sign while I pull my sulky childhood friend by the tie and point him at the camera. I suggest the one where they cosplay each other, but I'm silenced because it doesn't make sense, and it's true, I just wanted to bicker for the sake of it. Kacchan brings up some patrols in the city where he doesn't look that different from the drawing, so Todoroki-kun brings up the image at the hot springs, and we all reject Mirko's at New Year's Eve...
«Fuck it. Let's take it now.» Kacchan positions the phone against the window with the timer set. «Stand properly, idiots.» And while Todoroki strikes his default two-finger pose — this thing will continue to make me laugh my ass off, but I won't tell him because he would take it literally — and I smile, at the last moment Kacchan makes a stupid face and crushes my face in one hand with his arrogance.
Okay, I should have expected this. But I can't stop looking at the photo, feeling a warmth in the center of my chest. Not the different kind of warmth Rody gives me, but the warmth of family and home.
Kacchan sends it to everyone so I can send it to my “cheap loser overseas with whom you engage in trashy cosplay of Judy and Nick from Zootropolis and in other activities among such good friends that are not of interest to us”. Another excuse for me to have it too? To... prove something to Rody? Show possession?
A yawn from Todoroki-kun interrupts the moment.
I smile. «What do you say, shall we go to bed?»
«It's about time. That's what I was trying to do, damn it. You guys always drag me into this crap.»
«Actually, Bakugō, you did it all.»
As my friends tease each other, I walk them inside.
I stay behind. I find myself calling after them when they're at the hallway door. «Guys... Thanks. I couldn't sleep. I really miss Rody. I'm feeling better now, though.»
Todoroki-kun smiles knowingly. Kacchan snorts and comes back over to give me a friendly slap on the back of the head that will hurt until tomorrow evening, then he turns his back on me and drags the other one away.
I turn one last time toward the darkness cloaked in stars. I feel that, on the other side of the world, Rody is also looking up at the sky, and maybe he'll honor our tradition of staying up to watch it in silence for a while.
Rody taught me a lot of things. My first times, that perspectives can be turned upside down, that it's not so wrong to think about matters of the heart and let yourself go, that many things are important if we are willing to see them.
We won't be able to teach each other many more things because we are far apart. Because it was special, but it wasn't love meant to last.
But... We carry it inside us. We always will. Until the day when I am a Pro Hero and he is an airline pilot and we meet and remember our other life with a smile.
For the first time, I don't feel sad. Not even a sweet sadness. I just feel my heart swelling with beauty, precisely because we existed in another time and another place and in this way we lived us.
Everything is fine.
.•*:｡♡｡:*•.
Oh, yeah
In another time
and in another place
─────.•*:｡♡｡:*•.─────