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The rain was pouring heavily.
Seokjin didn’t even bother to get an umbrella or run towards his car. No matter how drenched he got, it was nothing compared to the hole in his heart. He just found out that his boyfriend had been cheating on him. Wait, no, cheating with him? Never, in Kim Seokjin’s entire life, did he think he would become the third person. It was a Friday night, Seokjin decided on a whim that he should surprise his boyfriend. He can’t always let his boyfriend be the one making surprises right? So Seokjin pulled some connections and got his address.
His heart had been pounding in excitement as he pressed the doorbell, only for the door to be answered by a lady. Of course, his first instinct was that he had the wrong address. Just as he told her his boyfriend’s name, his boyfriend’s voice came from inside, “Who is it, love?”
“He’s looking for you!” The lady turned around to answer him. Seokjin saw the mate mark on the back of her neck. And the story wrote itself. When his boyfriend, sorry, his ex froze at the sight of Seokjin, he knew for sure that the person he dated for the past few months was a cheater.
Had Seokjin not been worried about scaring the lady, Seokjin would have punched him there and then. That didn’t mean Seokjin wasn’t going to ruin his family. Seokjin bowed towards the lady, “I apologize for ruining your relationship. I was not informed that my boyfriend had a mate.”
“What–”
“Jin,” His ex had the audacity to step forward. Seokjin didn’t waste the chance to slap him. Seokjin glared at him, daring him to fight back. The alpha didn’t. Wise choice, or Seokjin will do something worse. Seokjin turned towards the lady and softened his tone.
“I’ve been dating him for three months. I’m breaking up with him now. I’d suggest you get a divorce.” Seokjin placed his namecard on the table, “Contact me if you need lawyer suggestions. It’s the least I can offer as an apology.”
Seokjin walked into the rain without looking back. His alpha didn’t follow him, probably having too many problems to solve now. When the anger was extinguished by the rain, all that remained was pain. His heart felt like it was ripped apart. He should have known. The “work” messages before spending the night with him. The outright refusal to spend time at the alpha’s place. The avoidance of the topic of mating. How had he been so dumb to think it was all a normal process of dating? The signs had all been there!
Tears burned as they fell, making their presence known despite the rain. It hurt to learn that all those promises were nothing but pretty words. That scumbag had been treating him like some sort of excitement all the while, hadn't he? Kim Seokjin was an idiot. Now what did he do?
“Hyung?! Why are you here?! I thought you were going to–” Namjoon wisely shut up, giving up on hiding the soju (Seokjin was still going to lecture him tomorrow). Namjoon pulled him into his apartment gently, “Come on in.”
Seokjin sat on Namjoon’s floor, taking one of the open bottles. Namjoon appeared with a towel and wrapped it around Seokjin. They remained silent for a while. Seokjin didn’t drink any of the soju; he gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. Stupid alpha. How dare he? Finally, Seokjin admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper. “He cheated on his wife.”
“... What an asshole.”
“I will let the language slide this time,” Seokjin muttered, “Yes. An asshole.”
“Hyung, you should go take a hot shower. Not worth getting sick for an asshole.” Namjoon took the bottle away. “We can drink afterwards. Plan revenge, even.”
“There is no revenge,” Seokjin muttered. He was ashamed to admit he still loved him.
“He wasted your time! Why shouldn’t you— Nevermind, hyung, just go shower.”
“I’m your older brother, don’t tell me what to do.” Seokjin was just too drained for a shower.
“Not by blood,” Namjoon dragged him up from the ground. Brat. It did lighten Seokjin’s mood, though. Seokjin let himself be pushed towards Namjoon’s room. “Just go.”
“Fine, fine.” Seokjin sighed. Maybe he could keep crying in the bathroom. Before closing the door, he paused, “Namjoon, I mean it. No revenge. You hear me?”
Namjoon’s expression was unreadable. Seokjin narrowed his eyes, “Kim Namjoon.”
“Yes…”
“Louder.”
“Yes, hyung.” Namjoon straightened his body. “I won’t do anything illegal to him.”
Seokjin accepted Namjoon’s wordplay. As the heir of the Kim Clan, Seokjin simply would not allow their power to be used for something personal. That was like giving a knife to his enemies to harm them. Just then, Seokjin’s phone vibrated. The audacity to still call him. Seokjin gripped his phone tightly. He really should just hang up and blacklist his number.
“Babe, listen,” The voice that once made Seokjin’s heart flutter felt like a knife stabbing his heart now. He didn’t even ask if Seokjin had reached home safely or taken a hot shower. He watched Seokjin walking into the rain. Fine, there were more ‘important’ matters, the bastard said, “Our marriage was strained. I swear, I was going to tell you.”
“You cheated on her,” Seokjin chuckled dryly, “You can cheat on me.”
“Jin, listen, I know what I did was wrong,” Then why do it? “You were just too attractive.”
“Look at you. You’re beautiful. You’re confident. You’re sweet. You made me question my own sexuality. And with my relationship with her strained, I… I made a mistake. Trust me. I wouldn’t have done it for anyone else. I swear, I was going to mention divorce with her soon–”
“Then mate with me as if nothing happened?” Seokjin wanted to puke, “Do you have a death wish? Or do you want to get rich so badly you’re willing to risk it?”
“I would never think that way! I told you, I don’t care if you’re the heir of the chaebol!” Seokjin almost laughed. Sure. Whatever he said. “Please give me a chance. I will show you the divorce papers by next week. I love you so much, Jin.”
“I love you too,” Seokjin sighed. For a moment, Seokjin wanted to give in. He could pretend that the alpha has been single since day one and happily date him again. As if. His pride and conscience would never allow it. With a shaky breath, he said, “We’re over. That is final. For your own good, stay away and not exhaust what little love I have left.”
Knock knock. It was probably Namjoon.
Lightning flashed. Seokjin could imagine Namjoon’s hands stained with blood.
“Once it’s gone, nothing will protect you from my family.”
—
Twenty years ago
Seokjin was six. He frowned at the boy they had brought in. This was supposed to be his new ‘brother’? Not even the clothes the butler changed him into could hide how unmannered the boy was. How dare he put his feet on the sofa?! Did he think the sofa was his bed?! What was that thing in his arms? A koala plushie? It was so dirty, Seokjin wanted nothing to do with it. It took all of his manners to not puke right in front of the boy.
“Namjoon, sit properly.” The butler scolded the boy. Namjoon straightened up, the plushie still tightly held in his arms. “Meet Young Master Seokjin.”
Namjoon only stared at Seokjin, not even bothering to greet. Rude. The younger boy tightened the grip on his plushie as if afraid Seokjin would steal it. Ugh. Who would want that?
“Kim Seokjin,” Seokjin forced a smile and held out a hand, “Your older brother from now on.”
“I don’t have a brother!” Namjoon shouted.
“Your parents sold you to pay their debt,” Seokjin’s mother has told him many times to be gentle towards ladies and omegas. Namjoon didn’t fit into any of those categories, so Seokjin supposed it was fine. Because the boy made him mad. “Like it or not, you are now part of us.”
“...” Namjoon just glared. Seokjin wanted to say something more, but his parents entered the room. At the sight of his parents, Namjoon put his feet on the sofa again, clinging to his koala plushie tightly. Ugh. So dirty. The boy said, “I don’t know you.”
“Yet. You don’t know us yet,” Seokjin’s mother said with a warm smile. Seokjin didn’t understand why she was smiling. She hated when Seokjin slouched. Why was she alright with Namjoon doing so?! “We are your new family, Namjoon-ah.”
“We will raise you as our own,” Seokjin’s father said sternly, “But not without a price.”
Seokjin’s mother frowned disapprovingly, “Don’t say that to a four-year-old!”
“I’m just making it clear,” Seokjin’s father sighed. “It’s for his own good. If he doesn’t know what he’s getting into, he’s going to be eaten alive before he turns eighteen.”
“I don’t taste good…” Seokjin scrunched his nose when Namjoon said that. Seokjin knew man-eating monsters, and Santa didn’t exist a long time ago!
“Oh, boy,” Seokjin’s father was somehow amused, though. “Don’t worry. We’ll train you to become a strong fighter; no one will be able to eat you.”
“Strong… fighter?”
“Yes, we will teach you what you need to know,” It was that smile again. Seokjin knew that smile. When his father was convincing others that he was doing for their good but it was not. “If everything goes as planned, you will become one of the most powerful men in our country, and no one will ever dare to touch you. In return, you will protect our family, alright?”
“...Yes?” Namjoon replied hesitantly.
No one told the little boy what ‘protect’ truly meant. Seokjin didn’t really understand either. All he knew was that the boy was supposed to protect him in the future. So Seokjin was supposed to treat Namjoon nicely to earn his loyalty. Not that Seokjin could imagine the small kid protecting him in any way. It didn’t matter. His parents were the ones making the decisions. From that day onwards, Seokjin and Namjoon officially became brothers.
They went to different grades, so Seokjin didn’t see him much in school. After school, they were busy with their own respective extracurricular classes. They saw each other during family meals, that was about it. Seokjin wasn’t bothered to pull the distance closer either. Namjoon was… Not someone Seokjin would want to befriend. His mother had told him to be nicer. Seokjin thought he was doing a very good job by not letting his disgust show. When the day comes when Namjoon learns to eat with cutleries like a normal person, Seokjin will try to befriend him.
It was one week later when Seokjin talked to Namjoon properly.
Seokjin had woken up in the middle of the night, wanting to use the bathroom. So he reached for the handle on his tippy toes and left his room. The house was dimly lit, barely enough for Seokjin to make his way to the bathroom with his eyes half closed. After washing his hands, Seokjin froze. It had been soft, but Seokjin was sure he heard a sob. Seokjin frowned. Ghosts weren’t real, were they? If they were, they wouldn’t haunt his house, right? Seokjin was not terrified, and he wasn’t going to do something as embarrassing as running to his parents because of a ghost. Ghosts don’t exist! Seokjin stilled his breath and listened. Silence.
See! Ghosts don’t exist– He heard it again.
Seokjin was now wide awake. The dimly lit house was starting to look terrifying. His room felt extremely far away. How can he run back?! No! He can’t run! He was Kim Seokjin, future leader of the Kim Clan! He will not let history have it that he ran away from a ghost when he was young! Because ghosts don’t exist! Seokjin forced himself to search for the source of the sound. Soon enough, Seokjin found himself nearing the kitchen. He heard the sob again. It was really coming from the kitchen. Seokjin took a deep breath and peeked.
It was Namjoon. Seokjin let out a loud sigh of relief. See! Ghosts didn’t exist! On the other hand, Namjoon jumped at Seokjin’s presence. Namjoon backed away into a corner and hugged his head in fear. As he should. How dare he pretend to be a ghost in the middle of the night! With his stupid koala, too! Bad boy! Bad Namjoon!
“What are you doing here?” Seokjin asked.
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” Seokjin frowned at the scene in front of him. Namjoon was on the floor crying while Seokjin was standing with his arms crossed. Why did it look like Namjoon was being bullied? It was Seokjin who was pranked! Was Namjoon trying to make Seokjin look bad in front of his parents?! Hah, he was going to have to try better than that! “Why are you here?”
“I’m sorry–”
“Stop saying sorry and answer the question.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Namjoon wasn’t making sense. Seokjin tutted. Annoying brat. Seokjin looked around. There was a fallen stool nearby. On the table next to it was a jar of cookies. Aha! Seokjin has solved the mystery! Namjoon had wanted a midnight snack!
“Did you fall?” Seokjin went nearer to Namjoon, ignoring how the boy pulled himself further into the corner. There were no visible wounds. Good. “We can’t have midnight snacks. Mum says it’s not good for our teeth. You should know that!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Namjoon sobbed again, “I was hungry.”
“If you weren’t a picky eater, perhaps you wouldn’t have been,” Seokjin rolled his eyes. Did Namjoon think he didn’t notice how he only ate food served to his plate directly? Hah! Now Namjoon was hungry! If he hadn’t been a picky eater, he wouldn't have been hungry! Seokjin has been raised to keep his judgmental thoughts to himself, but Seokjin couldn’t hold it back now, “You should eat more during dinner instead of stealing midnight snacks.”
“I’m sorry.” Seokjin couldn’t tell if Namjoon was apologizing because he really meant it or just out of habit. Well, in any case, Seokjin has done his job as a responsible big brother.
“Go to bed,” Seokjin held out a hand, “You can have a cookie tomorrow.”
Seokjin had no idea what took so long for Namjoon to give him his hand. Namjoon had stared at it carefully, as if checking if Seokjin’s hands were dirty. Tsk. He was one to talk. Look at that koala! Also, Seokjin washed them every time after using the bathroom! They were clean! It’s okay. All that mattered was that Namjoon took his hand and allowed Seokjin to pull him up. As his father used to say, all that mattered was the result.
Seokjin didn’t trust Namjoon enough. He had a feeling Namjoon would try to steal a cookie again once he left the room. To ensure that didn’t happen, Seokjin decided to spend the night in Namjoon’s room. Not that Seokjin was scared of returning to his own room, nope. The dark did not scare him. Ghosts didn’t exist! He was just being a responsible big brother!
“Do you have to sleep with that?” Seokjin pouted, not really willing to share a bed with a dirty plushie. Ugh. Why would Namjoon sleep with that?!
“My parents gave it to me,” Namjoon answered gently, “My first gift.”
“Oh,” Seokjin swallowed the suggestion to get a new one, “Can he sleep on the floor tonight?”
Namjoon hugged the plushie tightly. A very clear no. Why?! Seokjin couldn’t understand. “You don’t have to watch me. I promise I won’t do it again.”
“Can he sleep on the other side of the bed?” Where were his manners? “Please?”
“... Okay.” Yay! Seokjin happily climbed onto Namjoon’s bed. Namjoon slept in the middle of Seokjin and Mr Koala. It felt weird sleeping in another bed, felt even weirder to have another body in the bed. But was late enough for sleep to drag him to bed. Just as Seokjin was finally about to fall asleep, a soft voice called out to him. “...Hyung?”
“Hmm?” Seokjin answered groggily.
“Can you not tell anyone else?” Was Namjoon crying??? Seokjin forced his eyes open. Sure enough, Namjoon’s eyes were filled with tears. Why?? Was this some sort of trick? Seokjin did not bully Namjoon! What has he even done? Ask that dirty plushie to sleep on the other side of the bed?? “I’m scared. I don’t want to be kicked out…”
“No one can kick you out.” One of Seokjin’s cousins did some crazy stuff, but still wasn’t kicked out of the family. The Kim Clan protects their own. No matter what. “Mum will probably scold you for eating at night, Father will warn you not to do it again. That’s about it.”
“Please,” Namjoon grabbed Seokjin’s sleeves. “I won’t do it again.”
“Namjoon. You shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes,” Seokjin said seriously, mimicking his father’s words. “You should learn to face the con-se-quen-ces.”
Seokjin was proud of himself for pronouncing that word. Clearly, Namjoon had other thoughts. Tears fell immediately. The horror on the boy’s face made Seokjin wonder if he was doing the wrong thing. But that was what his father taught him. Hmm… Then again, it was only Namjoon’s first week here. Maybe Seokjin could let it slide this one time. No! Then Namjoon would do it again! As Namjoon’s older brother, even if only by name, he can’t allow that! Not as the future heir of the clan! Seokjin used his free hand to wipe Namjoon’s tears away.
“Fine. Just this one time.” Seokjin wiped his sleeve on Namjoon’s bed, “But you have to promise me to let Mr Koala take a bath. He’s too dirty!!!”
“I promise.” Namjoon broke into a smile. Oh. Namjoon had a beautiful smile. It was the first time Seokjin saw it. Namjoon should smile more. “Thank you.”
“Go to sleep, Namjoon.” Seokjin said, “It’s very late.”
“Goodnight, hyung.”
—
Seokjin didn’t bother to open his eyes when someone climbed into his bed. There was only one person who would do such a thing. He didn’t even flinch when someone wrapped their arms around his waist. A familiar voice asked, “Hyung, what do you want for breakfast?”
“Stay out of my kitchen,” Seokjin grumbled.
“Hyung, you’re in my apartment, remember?” Oh, right.
“Stay out of my kitchen,” Seokjin repeated. Memories started to flood back into his mind. It had been a horrible idea to drink so much. His head hurts. “I need painkillers.”
“They’re already on the table,” Namjoon’s breath was hot against Seokjin’s neck, “You should eat something before taking meds, though. What do you want for breakfast?”
“What do you have?” As far as Seokjin was concerned, Namjoon’s apartment had no food. Speaking of which. Seokjin turned around to flicker Namjoon’s forehead, “I told you to stop drinking so much. You are not and will not become an alcoholic.”
“I wasn’t! I swear,” Namjoon lied with a straight face. As if the bottles opened themselves.
“You better not.” Seokjin pushed the overgrown puppy off him. “And I told you to stop doing this. You’re an alpha, I’m an omega. You can’t forget boundaries just because we’re siblings.”
Seokjin pushed himself up and rubbed his temples. Was he really getting old? It hasn’t been that long since he drank with someone, right? He didn’t notice how Namjoon’s gaze darkened behind him. He only heard Namjoon whine, “So what do you want? I ordered sandwich and–”
“Sandwich.”
“I actually didn’t order anything else,” Namjoon chuckled, “I’ll heat it. Come quick.”
“Do you know how?”
“Hyung, I’m not that dumb.”
Seokjin gave him a side eye. Namjoon skipped grades and went to the same class as Seokjin. Intellectually, Namjoon was no doubt the smartest person in the entire household. When it comes to managing daily life, though, Seokjin had his doubts. “I’ll be out soon.”
Namjoon smiled before leaving the room. Seokjin paused as he reached for his toothbrush. Huh. Seokjin knew the passcode to Namjoon’s place and appeared unannounced, while Namjoon’s apartment had Seokjin’s toothbrush and clothes. Heck, he always slept in Namjoon’s bed. Did he really have the right to tell Namjoon to watch the boundaries? Then again, Seokjin seldom came over. And Namjoon always took the sofa. It should be fine, right? They were siblings after all. What was weird about siblings having sleepovers or having an extra set of clothes at each other’s place? Convinced that he was not overstepping any boundaries, Seokjin went to the dining room, where Namjoon was waiting.
The sandwich was warm, and Namjoon had not blown up the apartment. Small victories. Speaking of the apartment, it was already cleaned. No one could tell they had been drinking together last night. All soju bottles have been disposed of. The laundry was already done, Seokjin even saw his own clothes hanging there. Everything looked perfect. Too perfect.
“Not too bad, right?” Namjoon smiled triumphantly behind his coffee, as if reading Seokjin’s mind. “Hyung, I’ve been telling you. I can take care of myself.”
“Oh?” Seokjin took his sandwich with him as he went over to the nearest cupboard. Despite Namjoon’s protest, he opened it. A strong arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him away before a bunch of junk fell out, barely missing Seokjin’s face. He knew it. The room was too clean for Namjoon. He turned towards Namjoon and raised an eyebrow. “You can take care of yourself, you say? Hmm?”
Namjoon pulled Seokjin into a hug, refusing to meet Seokjin’s eyes as he whined, “You said nothing on the table! Who cares how I keep it in the cupboard?! No one can see it anyway!”
“Namjoon.”
“I’ll clean it up.”
Seokjin returned to his seat as Namjoon started cleaning his place properly with a pout. He smiled at the sight. No matter how old Namjoon gets, he is still the same Namjoon. Always whining but still completing whatever Seokjin told him to do. Seokjin went over to the basin to wash his plates. It was then that Seokjin’s phone started vibrating. It was him. Seokjin took a glance at Namjoon, who was moving the junk somewhere, hopefully not just to another cupboard. It should be fine to answer. He knows he shouldn’t. It’s just… Emotions took over.
“Speak.” Honestly, his heart was racing. To lower Namjoon’s guard, Seokjin had to pretend it was a normal call. He held the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he did the dishes.
“Hey Jin. How are you feeling?” Asking that as if nothing ever happened.
“I’ve had breakfast,” Seokjin answered, “What do you want?”
“Can we meet up today?”
Seokjin hated how his heart skipped a beat. That man was not the person Seokjin thought he fell for. He should not keep in contact. But from the moment he chose to pick up the phone, mistakes were already made. “What for?”
“You’re understandably angry at me. You should be.” His voice was as soothing as ever. It made Seokjin want to listen. “Just let me explain myself today? I promise it won’t take long.”
“...” Seokjin’s actions stopped as he thought about it. Should he? He was disgusted at the fact he was even considering, but. There was one part of Seokjin’s heart that wondered, what if he meant it? What if he really loved Seokjin?
“Fuck. I can’t really explain myself. I know what I did was wrong. There are no excuses. But I swear Jin, it won’t be the same for our relationship.” Like a devil whispering into his ear, that alpha continued to say. “Can we start over? Treat today as our first date.”
It was like knowing midnight snacks were bad but being tempted to have them anyway. Seokjin knew that the alpha was bad news. If the alpha could cheat on his wife, he could cheat on Seokjin. It didn’t matter if their relationship was strained or not. Cheating was cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Seokjin knew that in theory, but their past three months have been so wonderful. If he could just ignore it and pretend nothing happened… No, he can’t be that disgusting. Seokjin was no saint, but he was not a third wheel.
“Jin, please. Just give me a chance,” The devil said, “I promise, if you feel like you truly can’t forgive me after today, I won’t ever bother you again.”
Seokjin took a deep breath. Just as he was about to refuse, the phone was taken away. Another hand reached over to turn the tap off. Seokjin’s blood ran cold. When did Namjoon come over?! How much has he heard? Seokjin instinctively reached to snatch his phone, but Namjoon turned away, making the phone out of reach. When Seokjin tried again, Namjoon held him steady by the waist. Sometimes, Seokjin forgets that the whiny brat could control him if he so pleases. The strength difference between an alpha and an omega was uncrossable. Namjoon’s expression was cold and intimidating, like a predator ready to kill.
“Then don’t bother him now,” Namjoon turned the speaker on. Well, there goes the possibility of Namjoon not hearing anything. And from the looks of it, Namjoon has heard enough.
“Who are you?”
“His new alpha,” What the fuck? “You should know that Jin-hyung has many admirers. From the moment you betrayed him, you’re no longer a competitor.”
“How dare you?!” He had the audacity to growl, “We’re still together.”
Namjoon laughed, “That’s not what hyung said. What are you going to do about it?”
“Put Jin on the phone.”
“Oh he’s listening,” Namjoon chuckled, “In my arms.”
“Jin, I know you just want me to taste my own medicine, and I admit it hurts to know you would find someone right after we broke up.” It was that one sentence that snapped Seokjin back to his senses. What was he doing? How could he possibly even consider going back to him? How dare he think Seokjin would ever snoop as low as that? “But please, I’m willing to start again.”
“And I’m willing to kill you if you dare,” Namjoon growled. “Stay away from Jin-hyung.”
Namjoon hung up the call. An awkward silence fell between them. Seokjin could feel the rage Namjoon was trying to hold back. Despite the scent blocker, Seokjin could smell Namjoon’s lemongrass. Oh, the alpha was mad. Seokjin wasn’t immune to Namjoon’s scent like how normal siblings were. Afterall, they weren’t related by blood. The scent made Seokjin’s knees go weak, the omega in him wanted to soothe the alpha’s fury. Namjoon’s grip on him was too tight. Seokjin wondered if Namjoon was going to crack his phone with how tightly he was holding it.
“Namjoon,” Seokjin tapped the hand around his waist gently, “Let go.”
Namjoon growled, “How could you even consider–”
“I wasn’t,” Not really a lie, because though he had been tempted, his pride and conscience won the battle again. He was going to reject him. “I won’t waste any more time on him.”
“Let me kill him.” Namjoon was dead serious.
Fortunately for the bastard, the past three months meant something to Seokjin. He shook his head firmly, “Never abuse your power for personal business. Don’t give the police an excuse to lock you up. Do you hear me?”
“But–”
“Hmm?”
“I understand,” Namjoon said frustratedly. “But hyung, you really shouldn’t keep in contact with him. He’s an asshole to both you and his mate.”
“I know, I won’t.” Seokjin reached for his phone. This time, Namjoon let him. Under Namjoon’s watchful eyes, he texted his ex, warning him to not contact him again. He then proceeded to block his number. “Does this put you at ease?”
“A little,” Namjoon mumbled as he buried his head into Seokjin’s shoulder again. With Namjoon’s neck being so close, the scent intensified. “I’m sorry I did that.”
“Don’t be. You were just trying to protect me and stop me from doing something stupid.” Seokjin ignored how weak his knees felt and patted Namjoon’s back comfortingly. “Thank you.”
“You’re not mad at me, are you?”
“If I go out there and see a messy living room, I will be.” Seokjin said half seriously.
“Ah, hyung~”
“I’m going back out there in 3, 2–”
Namjoon ran immediately. Seokjin let out a sigh of relief as his knees went out. Had he not managed to support himself with the sink, he would have fallen to the ground. He had no idea how to explain to Namjoon if that ever happened. Namjoon meant well; he can’t let Namjoon feel guilty about anything else. Seokjin took a few deep breaths to calm himself before stepping out there to judge the new mess Namjoon created.
—
Ten years ago
Seokjin was sixteen. Both he and Namjoon went through a growth spurt. At this point in life, both teens knew more about the family they were in. On the surface, the Kim Clan was just a normal company doing normal business. But in reality, the Kim Clan was the biggest mafia in town, the company existing only to clean the money they earned. Still, business was business, and the government couldn’t help them (yes, they had connections) if the CEO was the leader of a mafia. Hence, on the surface, the mafia was run by another member of the Kim Clan while the true leader’s hands will forever remain clean. This was also a safety measure to ensure the leader didn’t get caught in case the police decided to break the balance one day. If anything goes wrong, only that one member would pay the price.
It was an open secret that everyone knew. Not that the police could do anything. They had no evidence to prove that the true leader was guilty. All punishment will be taken by the scapegoat. And Namjoon was expected to become that scapegoat.
That’s why their father sent Namjoon to martial arts lessons. A mafia leader was expected to fight. On the other hand, Seokjin was supposed to focus on academics. A ‘CEO’ had to be good in studies. They were supposed to balance each other out, but in reality, Namjoon excelled in everything he did. Heck, he skipped two grades and was now in the same class as Seokjin while performing well in his fighting classes. Seokjin’s father had patted Namjoon’s back proudly, joking that perhaps he should become the heir instead.
Seokjin had a feeling it wasn’t a complete joke. If Namjoon was better at the job, then he would take Seokjin’s place as heir. Bloodline be damned.
It made it hard to smile at Namjoon. Because no matter how hard Seokjin tried, he couldn’t do the same. He was just not capable. Seokjin had tried to be reasonable. In theory, he knew that Namjoon had nothing to do with it. But when more and more voices of Namjoon outshining him appeared, Seokjin couldn’t control his temper. He was the one who was trained to kiss the legal side’s ass and how to intimidate those from the dark. He was the one who had been forced to sit through an interrogation session to ‘man up’. He was the one raised with all the responsibility, and now they’re going to abandon him just because someone else was doing a better job at it– Fuck. That made perfect sense. Only the best deserved to lead.
“Hyung, have you heard? We’ll be attending the same class!” For the past decade, Namjoon has always followed Seokjin around like a puppy. Seokjin looked at the textbooks in Namjoon’s arms that were the exact same as his. All Seokjin could hear were the voices comparing them. The teen with dimples in front of him was a prodigy who skipped two grades. Who was he to be the one Namjoon followed around? Namjoon was no lost puppy.
“Is it fun?” Seokjin asked before he could stop himself, “Humiliating me?”
Color drained from Namjoon’s face. A dam broke. The jealousy Seokjin had been restraining poured out, taking the form of a death glare. Seokjin clenched his fists, doing all he could to control himself. The heir of the Kim Clan must not– Fuck this. He might not be anymore. The venom in his own voice shocked him, “Must be fun, surpassing me in everything.”
“Hyung, I–”
“Shut up.” Seokjin knocked over the books in Namjoon’s hands. The textbooks stared back at Seokjin from the ground, stabbing a knife into Seokjin’s pride. Namjoon was in Seokjin’s class now. Maybe next year, Namjoon will be a grade above him. Maybe when Seokjin turns twenty-one, his father won’t announce him as the heir officially anymore. Maybe Seokjin will be kicked out of the family because he is so useless. All because of Namjoon. Seokjin grabbed Namjoon’s collar, knowing the classes Namjoon took, Seokjin knew Namjoon could have easily dodged him. Namjoon didn’t. Namjoon just stood there. The voices got louder.
Young Master Namjoon is so smart. Even better than Young Master Jin at his age!
Oh he’ll give Young Master Jin a run for his throne.
Your brother is skipping grades? Didn’t you try and get rejected before?
Jin, your grades have been falling. Namjoon takes fight classes and he’s doing better than you.
Maybe I should pass the family to Namjoon instead!
Seokjin wanted to punch Namjoon to prove to them Namjoon was not as good as they thought. He wanted to prove to them that Seokjin wasn’t as weak as they thought. Namjoon, on the other hand, only closed his eyes, bracing himself for impact. Did he think Seokjin’s punches wouldn’t hurt? Just because Namjoon was taller than Seokjin now didn’t mean it won’t hurt. It will! He will prove it! Just as Seokjin was about to throw his fist, Seokjin saw himself in the mirror. Who the hell was that monster? The person in the mirror was not Kim Seokjin.
That was just a jealous monster trying to hurt his brother because he was afraid to admit that none of this was Namjoon’s fault. It was all Seokjin’s fault for not being good enough. Energy drained from Seokjin. Tears blurred his vision. He was hurting Namjoon for a stupid reason.
Seokjin pushed Namjoon away, “Get out of my room.”
“Hyung–”
“Out!” Seokjin shouted at Namjoon for the first time.
That was the last time Seokjin talked to Namjoon. After that, Namjoon disappeared from his sight. Well, not entirely, they still saw each other in class. Seokjin supposed it was better for Namjoon that way. Namjoon deserved someone who didn’t let jealousy get the better of him. It’s just…Seokjin felt so empty without Namjoon following him around. Every time he saw Namjoon, his body instinctively braced itself to catch the younger, because Namjoon had always thrown himself onto Seokjin when they met after school. Yet, ever since that night, Namjoon merely turned away whenever they saw each other. Sometimes, Seokjin stays awake at night, waiting for Namjoon to climb into his bed again. Namjoon never came.
Seokjin knew he should apologize. Not only was he the one who pushed Namjoon, but he was also the older brother. There were so many times Seokjin wanted to apologize to Namjoon. Like this morning, when they got into the same car. Or just now, when they walked to class together.
Maybe I should pass the family to Namjoon instead!
Every time he tried, he’d hear his father’s voice. He would be reminded of how he wasn’t good enough. Seokjin didn’t want to apologize. Because he knew once he apologized, Namjoon would probably come running to him again. But he knew the jealousy was still there. He will only hurt Namjoon again and again. And who said Namjoon wanted to forgive him? Maybe Namjoon was too disappointed in Seokjin to ever want to talk to him again–
Seokjin froze in his tracks. There was someone that Seokjin didn’t recognize sitting on Namjoon’s desk. From his nametag, Seokjin could tell he was a senior. What did he want? He didn’t seem like he was here to make friends. Was he a bully? Students in their school were all from the rich. Surely, their parents have warned them? Surely no one was as dumb as attempting to bully a member of the Kim Clan? Their classmates were all looking away, wanting to stay out of trouble. Fair enough. Seokjin walked right up to them.
“Can I help you?” Seokjin squared his shoulders.
The senior took a glance at his nametag and smiled politely, “I’m here for my friend.”
Seems like his parents did warn him. “Namjoon, is that true?”
“...Yes.” Namjoon answered gently. Seokjin frowned. He couldn’t tell if Namjoon was lying or if he was uncomfortable talking to Seokjin again. He turned towards Namjoon, trying to read his expression. All he could tell was that Namjoon was uncomfortable. Again, Seokjin couldn’t tell if it was because of the possible bully or because of him. He’ll just have to trust Namjoon to be able to defend himself. Namjoon’s classes couldn’t have been for nothing.
“Classes start in ten minutes, don’t be late.” Seokjin gave the senior a warning look before returning to his own seat. Namjoon left the classroom. Seokjin couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Since when did Namjoon befriend that senior? How?
“Are you sure?” His deskmate nudged him. “He seems like trouble,”
“Namjoon is stronger than I am,” Seokjin shrugged.
“Does he know how to fight back, though?” His deskmate asked, “From the short time I’ve known him, he seems like an easy target. And he hasn’t presented, right? Are you sure he’s a fight for that dude? He’s presented as an alpha, you know?”
“...” Seokjin thought about Namjoon, who always ran towards him with a smile. He tried imagining Namjoon putting on a fierce fighting face. All he could come up with was Namjoon closing his eyes, bracing for Seokjin’s punch. His deskmate was right. Namjoon was an easy target. Seokjin felt extremely nervous, “I’ll go check on him.”
Finding them was easy. He just had to go where the other students were actively avoiding. He found them near the bathroom. The senior was frowning at the cash in their hands while Namjoon had his head held low. Seokjin paused to observe.
“That’s all you have?” The senior scoffed, “Surely the Kim Clan doesn’t give their foster son so little? Or should I ask your brother for money instead?”
“Don’t bother Jin-hyung.” Namjoon glared up.
“What is with that look?” The senior kicked Namjoon’s leg. Namjoon grunted but didn’t budge at all. The senior cursed and punched Namjoon in the stomach hard, drawing a groan out of Namjoon. Seokjin felt something snap. “Look at me like that again and I will–”
It hadn’t been easy to pull the alpha away from Namjoon. His fist ached from hitting the bastard’s face. He didn’t care. Fury was rushing through every single vein of his body. How dare the bastard hit his brother?! He helped Namjoon up from the ground, “Are you alright?”
“Hyung?” Namjoon’s eyes widened. “Why are you here?”
“What the fuck? How dare you?!” The bastard had the audacity to growl. He held a hand against his cheek as he stood. “You’re going to pay for this!”
Seokjin pulled Namjoon behind him and growled right back, “You are going to pay for this. Do you know who you’re messing with?”
“Your family is just a bunch of thugs!” The typical insult, “Don’t think so highly of yourself!”
“And do you know how thugs handle people who harm our own?” Seokjin smirked as colour drained from the bastard’s face. “Exactly. You should have thought of that first.”
“Shut up, you’re just an omega!” Seokjin smelled the scent of vinegar. Oh the alpha was mad. Seokjin couldn't care less. Some people couldn’t lose with dignity. They don’t have anything else to attack, so they attack his subgender. “You really think your gang is going to listen to your whines? Or do you let them fuck you to get them to listen–”
Seokjin felt a gust of wind and a shadow flash beside him. With a howl of pain, the alpha was on the ground. Namjoon was straddling the alpha, with a face Seokjin could never imagine on Namjoon’s face. Namjoon growled, “I told you to keep my brother out of this.”
It took two punches for Seokjin to snap back to his senses. He had to stop Namjoon before he killed the alpha. He placed a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder firmly, not flinching when Namjoon glared at him. This was Namjoon. Namjoon wouldn’t hurt him. He said sternly, “Namjoon, stop.”
“Hyung!”
“Hmm?”
Namjoon cursed and let Seokjin pull him off the unconscious alpha. Seokjin then lifted Namjoon’s wrists gently to observe his hands. Namjoon’s knuckles were red from the one-sided fight, most likely going to bruise. Seokjin blew on them gently, hoping to ease the pain. Then he remembered that Namjoon’s hands weren’t what he should be worried about. Namjoon had been hit somewhere else. Something cold crawled up Seokjin’s spine. It was later that Seokjin learned that it was called killing intent. No one, absolutely no one, hurts Namjoon.
“Don’t dirty your hands,” Seokjin said coldly, not feeling even the slightest remorse.
If Seokjin was right, the alpha’s position in the school was probably already strained. Because all students here didn’t lack money. The only reason the alpha was taking money from others was that he did something that made his parents freeze his allowance. Whatever he did, it probably almost got the alpha expelled, or his parents wouldn’t have taken action. With this, Seokjin can definitely convince the school to expel him. One does not mess with the Kim Clan and expects to get away with it. Maybe the alpha thought a fourteen-year-old would be an easy target, he was wrong. Wait, no, he was right, and Seokjin was pissed.
“Friend?” Seokjin hissed. “You lied to me about something like this? Why didn’t you tell me earlier that someone was bothering you?”
Namjoon lowered his head, “I didn’t want to get you involved…”
“Then why didn’t you fight back? You were trained to! You could have!”
“I didn’t want to cause you any trouble for you…”
“So it’s my fault?” Namjoon shook his head immediately. Seokjin didn’t want to listen to the explanation he had. Seokjin cupped Namjoon’s face, forcing Namjoon to look at him. “Listen to me carefully. You’re one of the future leaders of the Kim Clan. No one will dare to bully you unless you allow them. And you’re not allowed to do that! If anyone tries to hurt you, you fight back! If you can’t, you turn to me. Do you understand?!”
“I…”
“Hmm?” Seokjin dared him to say no.
“But hyung, I don’t want to be the leader,” Tears formed in Namjoon’s eyes. Oh dear, had he been too harsh? “I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be in the same class with you.”
Oh. Namjoon was referring to that. Guilt swallowed Seokjin whole. As if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head, Seokjin suddenly could think again. Jealous? Over his little brother? That looked up to him? What the hell was he doing? If Namjoon performed well, he should be proud. Namjoon performing well might threaten Seokjin’s position as heir, but it will never threaten Seokjin. Namjoon would never hurt him.
“I know, Namjoon, I know,” Seokjin gently wiped the tears away, “I lost my temper that day. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. That was my fault.”
Namjoon shook his head, probably to say he didn’t blame Seokjin. Seokjin didn’t want to hear him say that. Because Namjoon should be angry at him for the unfair attack. So he hushed Namjoon before he could say another word.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Seokjin said firmly, “We are going to find the teachers and ensure he gets expelled. Then we make his family pay. Understood?”
Namjoon nodded and smiled. There were the dimples Seokjin missed. Seokjin couldn’t help but smile back. It was that moment Seokjin came to peace with Namjoon’s capability. They were brothers; it didn’t matter who became the leader. If Namjoon takes over, then Seokjin will gladly sacrifice himself for Namjoon. If Seokjin still became heir as planned, then Namjoon will only take the fall in one scenario – Seokjin dies.
—
Seokjin was in the office when he was suddenly reminded of a horrible decision he made. Before they broke up, his stupid ass was convinced to spend his heat with that bastard. He had stopped his heat suppressant pills, and now, his heat could hit anytime. Seokjin checked his calendar. Yup, it was expected to hit these few days. Now that he thought about it, he had probably been feeling tired for the past few days because he was in pre-heat. Heck, he could smell his scent coming out of the scent blocker. This wasn’t good. He needed to be home immediately. Seokjin calmly told his secretary to rearrange everything before hurrying to his car. It wasn’t the best idea to drive, but Seokjin didn’t want anyone else to see him in a weak state.
Turns out, while Seokjin forgot about his own heat, someone else remembered.
That bastard had been waiting for him at the carpark.
“Hey Jin,” It’s been a week since they broke up. Still, his voice made Seokjin’s heart flutter. He remembered? “I took my days off. It’s about time, right?”
“It has nothing to do with you.” Seokjin’s voice wasn’t as cold as he hoped.
“You stopped the pills for me. I should be responsible,” Did that make sense? “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Jin. Please. The last time.”
The man looked exactly the same as he remembered. Gentle, kind, reliable… Seokjin shook his head. He could hear Namjoon’s voice in his head. This guy was an asshole.
“No.” They shouldn’t keep in contact anymore.
“Is it because of that person?” That person? Namjoon? “Did you know he threatened me physically? He’s just a thug who thinks with his muscles. Jin, you’re better than that. I can do what he's doing for you. I can give more than a slut.”
The world seemed to fade out. Whatever remaining feelings Seokjin had disappeared. He was still blabbering something, but Seokjin was no longer listening. Because all the bastard was doing was stepping down on Namjoon to make himself look better. The person in front of him was a stranger, not the man Seokjin had fallen in love with. Had he stayed out of Seokjin’s life, he could have remained as Seokjin’s first love. Now, however. A familiar chill crawled up Seokjin’s spine. How dare he defame Namjoon like that? The bastard didn’t even know Namjoon. Perhaps that was the downside of dating someone who wasn’t part of the rich circle.
Anyone part of the circle would know it was a horrible idea to mess with the Kim Clan, even more so to mess with Kim Namjoon.
“I did tell you that my family is complicated, right?” Seokjin tilted his head innocently as he recalled, “Oh yes. You mentioned you didn’t mind. You trust me to be different from the rest of them, or something like that?”
Looking back, Seokjin never really showed his ex his true colours. He supposed that was what gave him the misconception that Seokjin would pick him over Namjoon. He chuckled, “If I’m not mistaken, the one who found you is named Namjoon. Did Namjoon not tell you he’s the best hitman we have? You didn’t think his threats were empty, right?”
“...What?”
Seokjin smiled, “Surely you didn’t think I would stand by your side instead of his, right?”
“Impossible…” The man was stunned for a few seconds, then made the mistake of opening his mouth again, “Jin, you’re sounding like a stranger…”
“You don’t know anything about me,” Seokjin had to laugh. Seokjin shook his head. It’s been a while since he had to face such stupidity. Guess he had to show his ex his true colours. Seokjin reached for his ankles and felt the familiar metal hidden in his slacks, he looked around and saw an empty can someone littered on the ground. He gestured for the man to look at it, “See that cola can?”
The bastard turned around to look at it.
Cling. The sound of the can being knocked into the air before falling again echoed.
Seokjin smirked as the alpha flinched. The man turned back forward slowly, raising his hands into the air as he saw a gun with a silencer pointed at his face. That’s right. Fear him. Learn the hard way that he had messed with the wrong person. Pulling the trigger now would be fun, but having the man live in fear for the rest of his life sounded better. Seokjin took a step forward, and as expected, the coward took a step back. Seokjin wondered if the alpha would pee his pants. That would be a sight. He dropped the smile, “I warned you not to exhaust my love. Now it’s time you learn that I’m Kim Seokjin. I am exactly like them.”
“The next time you insult my family, I will pull the trigger.”
Seokjin kept the gun and returned to his car. The engine roared alive. Seokjin put on his sunglasses slowly, just like any other day. No one would have guessed he had just fired a shot and scared the shyt out of an alpha. As he passed the pathetic mess on the ground, Seokjin opened the window and looked down at him. Can’t believe he was once in love with that bastard. Seokjin smiled, “I wouldn’t recommend calling the police, but by all means, you can try.”
Seokjin stepped on the gas.
With a hand on the steering wheel, Seokjin dialed Namjoon’s number.
“Hey hyung, what can I do for you~”
“You threatened my ex?” Seokjin couldn’t help but smile as Namjoon spluttered for excuses. It was always fun to tease Namjoon. It made Seokjin’s mood better. Once he was satisfied, he chuckled, “It’s fine. I’m not mad at you. I need you to do something for me.”
“What is it?”
“I fired a shot in the office carpark,” Seokjin said, “Help me erase evidence.”
“What happened? Were you attacked?! Where are you right now?! Are you injured?!”
“Namjoon,” Seokjin stopped the panicking alpha, “I’m fine.”
“I’ll head over right now. Wait for me.” Namjoon’s tone changed. This was no longer the overgrown puppy that whined; that was the next leader of the biggest mafia in the country. Tsk tsk, ordering him like that, did he forget that Seokjin was the actual boss? Seokjin didn’t notice the fond smile on his face. Namjoon said, “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Drive safely,” Seokjin said, “I’ll be home in ten minutes.”
“Home? Are you injured afterall?!”
“Why is that your first reaction???” Fine, it probably had something to do with Seokjin not mentioning stopping his pills to Namjoon. Seokjin sighed, “I’m fine, Namjoon. Just help me clean things up. Thanks.”
Fuck. Seokjin felt something wet behind him. Has it already started? Seokjin touched his forehead. Yea, burning hot. He was in trouble.
“I might not be free to pick up the phone later,” It was getting hard to breathe. Seokjin stepped on the gas, “Just text me. I’ll reply once I’m free.”
“Understood,” Namjoon definitely was not satisfied with Seokjin’s answer. Seokjin didn’t have the energy to explain more. “Take care, hyung.”
“I will. Bye.” Seokjin hung up the phone and hurried home. He somehow managed to stumble into his room in time. Omegas who have been on heat suppressant pills will have an extra fierce wave once they stop. And Seokjin has been on pills for as long as he can remember. Thankfully, Seokjin kept a dildo for backup. Unlike Namjoon’s place, Seokjin’s place was neat and organized. He fumbled with the keys to the locked box, struggling a little because it’s been forever since that box has been used. His last piece of sanity made him clean the dildo before using it. By the time Seokjin was lying on his own bed, his heat had started.
Seokjin underestimated how strong it was.
Never had Seokjin felt such a strong desire to be fucked. He had his own fun occasionally, but it was nothing like this. This wasn’t just a desire; it was a necessity. That pink dildo was simply not enough. No wonder sex experts recommended newbies to do it when the omega was in heat. The natural lube was flowing down Seokjin’s thighs like an open tap. Seokjin had never felt so dirty. At the same time, he had never felt so good. All he wishes is that the dildo could move on its own. Faster. Harder. Rougher. Maybe he should have bought the one that could simulate a breeding sensation. Because orgasm after orgasm, Seokjin was not satisfied.
He wanted an alpha. Seokjin moaned in frustration. He needed an alpha.
Not the bastard who insulted his family. An actual, reliable alpha. Someone who would love and respect him. Someone who would acknowledge his abilities and at the same time protect him. Someone who can fuck the hell out of Seokjin right now and care for him gently later. A pair of dimples emerged in his mind. What the fuck? Seokjin felt his face burn. How could he?! But his omega (yes, Seokjin was blaming his subgender for the ridiculous imagination) wouldn’t stop imagining. Namjoon fit all of his desires perfectly. Except the last one. He didn’t know how Namjoon was in bed. But given how well built Namjoon was, Seokjin had no doubt Namjoon could– Fuck, stop imagining his step brother fucking him!
His body betrayed him. Turning hard again at the mere thought. At the back of his mind, Seokjin could hear his phone vibrating. Most probably Namjoon, to update on his task. Didn’t he tell Namjoon to just text? Wait, what if Seokjin asked Namjoon to come over? They weren’t related by blood; if the alpha smelled him now, he would definitely not be able to resist. No alpha can resist an omega in heat. Fine, maybe except Namjoon. The last time an omega tried to tempt him with their heat, Namjoon tied them up and waited for an emergency suppressant. Getting tied up didn’t sound too bad… Seokjin reached for his phone. As suspected, it was Namjoon. Seokjin’s finger hovered over the answer button. Should he really?
Seokjin gritted his teeth and threw his phone far away. He couldn’t do that to Namjoon. Namjoon deserved better. Thinking this way about his brother was weird enough, he can’t execute it. Even if he knows Namjoon probably would not reject him.
Stop thinking about Namjoon! Seokjin begged his mind. Do not make the next time he sees Namjoon awkward! How was he going to face Namjoon again?! But he couldn't stop imagining. How nice it would be to be surrounded by the scent of lemongrass. Their scents went well together, too. If Namjoon fucked him with the same fierce expression he had when he was mad, would Seokjin be able to handle it? Fuck, Namjoon was definitely longer and thicker than this stupid toy. And could probably move with much more force than Seokjin's wrist. It was embarrassing, but Seokjin couldn’t stop touching himself while thinking about Namjoon.
His phone was still vibrating in the corner of the room. Namjoon was still calling him? The last time Seokjin failed to answer Namjoon’s spam calls was when he was kidnapped. Namjoon has been traumatised ever since. Namjoon seldom spam calls, but when he does, Seokjin knows as a fact that Namjoon would barge into his room if he didn’t answer. So Seokjin was forced to take a deep breath, pause the pleasure, and reach for his phone. At least, that’s what Seokjin told himself. Definitely not because he wanted to hear Namjoon's deep voice. The thought of answering his phone with slick flowing down his thighs turned him more than it should.
He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, “Hey.”
“Hyung, everything is cleared.” Fuck. Namjoon’s voice was so deep and sexy. Seokjin warned himself that it was a bad idea. He started touching himself anyway. It was the heat. Blame the heat. Seokjin could barely register what Namjoon was saying. “Your secretary said you went home looking unwell. Are you alright?”
“Yea,” Seokjin’s voice was trembling. Fuck. He had to hang up. This wasn’t good. This was not going to end well. If he kept talking to Namjoon, he wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that he was fucking himself on the phone. He said in a hurry, “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Hyung!” Namjoon called out. Seokjin waited for him to talk. “Are you safe?”
“Yes,” The only thing unsafe was the places his mind was going. “I've got to go. Bye.”
Where his phone went after that was a mystery. Seokjin cursed his past self for thinking he was some sort of saint who would be fine with the bare minimum. He was getting bored with the dildo. It couldn’t give Seokjin the stimulation he wanted. He needed more. More. Once this was over, he was at least getting a vibrator. One that he can stick deep inside his body and press against his sweet spot. Maybe he would even try self-restraint and let it drive him insane. Even better, if Namjoon could fuck him with his hands tied to the bedpost– Stop thinking about Namjoon. He really shouldn’t have answered the call. Now, Seokjin was starting to imagine Namjoon whispering into his ear as he fucked Seokjin into oblivion.
Finally, with one last (not very satisfying) orgasm, the first wave was over. Who knows when the next wave will hit? For now, Seokjin needed to hydrate himself. Gosh, he had no idea how he was supposed to survive a minimum of three days. Seokjin never knew what a slut he could be until just now. With the heat not messing with his head, Seokjin couldn’t face himself in the mirror. What has he just done? No, let’s not make it weird. That was staying in Seokjin’s memory and Seokjin’s memory alone. No one can ever know what happened. Seokjin wasn’t interested in walking around his place naked, so he pulled on a large shirt, not bothering with pants, considering how filthy his thighs were. As he went to get a cup of water, Seokjin checked his phone. Namjoon had been calling him nonstop. Oh no.
This was not going to end well. Seokjin dialed Namjoon’s number.
“Sorry, I was busy. I’m fine–”
“I’m coming in.” Namjoon said firmly.
Seokjin choked on his water. Panic flooded his veins as he heard the sound of the door opening. Fuck. He was so fucked. Why hadn’t he mentioned it to Namjoon just now?! He should have known Namjoon would rush over. He tripped as he rushed over to the door, he only managed to shout, “Don’t! I’m in heat!”
It was too late. Staring down at him was the man of his fantasies. Seokjin’s ears burned. He could imagine what Namjoon was seeing. An omega, wearing nothing but a white shirt, looking up from the floor. The white shirt was barely covering anything important, the remnants of pleasure still visible on the omega’s thighs. Fuck. Seokjin didn’t know what to do. Should he get up? Should he not? Namjoon was frozen in place, too. For a few awkward seconds, neither of them moved. It took the sound of the door closing to snap them out of it.
Namjoon was by his side in an instant, pulling him up from the ground. So strong. If Namjoon pinned Seokjin down, there was no way he could escape– Fuck. Seokjin pulled Namjoon’s hands away from him gently. He really didn’t need anything to fuel his weird fantasy.
Seokjin's voice was hoarse, “Namjoon-ah, don’t worry. I’m fine. You should leave. Now.”
Namjoon’s gaze darkened at his words. It triggered Seokjin’s survival instinct. When Namjoon took a step forward, he subconsciously took a step back. He’s seen blood splattered over Namjoon’s face multiple times, which had never scared Seokjin. This time, however, there was a fire behind Namjoon’s eyes, threatening to burn Seokjin alive. Soon, Seokjin found himself back against the wall. Seokjin gritted his teeth. He’s faced a gun to his head nonchalantly; he won’t be afraid of his own brother. Seokjin raised a hand to stop Namjoon from moving. Namjoon respected the distance, but his gaze moved dangerously down.
“Hyung,” Namjoon's expression was unreadable, “How much time do you have?”
“Why? Something happened?” He usually had an hour or two; he could have a sane conversation now. But his apartment reeked of honey. The air purifier was barely enough. It was still going to drive Namjoon crazy. “My first wave just ended. Make it quick.”
Namjoon’s voice was just as hoarse as Seokjin’s, “Can I help you through it?”
“What???” Seokjin could feel his ears burn at the suggestion.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Namjoon said quickly, the Namjoon that Seokjin knew was starting to resurface. “Just let me help you.”
Namjoon was, by all means, a wonderful liar when he tried. But Seokjin has known Namjoon forever. Namjoon wasn’t the type who would treat sex as nothing. Which meant there were two possibilities. One, Namjoon was worried about Seokjin’s well-being. Namjoon had sex education. He knows that omegas can go through a heat alone perfectly fine, though not as comfortable with an alpha. Namjoon also knows that some lines shouldn’t be crossed. That rules out the first possibility, meaning it could only be the second possibility. Namjoon wants to fuck with him.
As in fuck him.
“Namjoon,” Seokjin didn’t know what to say, “You need fresh air. My scent is–”
“It’s not!” Namjoon cut him short hurriedly, “I swear it’s not because of your scent. I, I–”
“You really want to fuck me?” Seokjin completed the sentence for Namjoon.
Namjoon’s silence was an answer in itself. Seokjin looked down. Seokjin thought it was absurd of him to imagine Namjoon fucking him, but here was Namjoon, getting aroused already.
“I never wanted to cross the lines,” Namjoon said weakly. Since when has Seokjin ever been able to say no to Namjoon? “But hyung, since you need help, please let me–”
“I don’t need help,” Seokjin answered immediately, “An omega can go through heat just fine without an alpha partner. You don’t use that as an excuse.”
“I–” The light in Namjoon’s eyes disappeared.
“Try again,” Seokjin cupped Namjoon’s face gently, “Ask for my consent properly.”
Namjoon’s breath hitched. Seokjin nodded encouragingly, “Can I fuck you?”
A bit too direct for Seokjin’s liking but as expected from Namjoon. Seokjin should have been the mature one between them. He knows once they did it, there was no going back. People would most definitely judge them. Foster brothers fucking each other? A scandal Seokjin didn’t know how to handle. Then again, Seokjin was never the most rational person. Much less when he was in heat. Sometimes, he just did what he felt like doing. He could feel a new wave being triggered by the mere thought of Namjoon fucking him. With Namjoon’s clear interest, Seokjin had no reason to refuse. So he nodded, “Yes.”
If Namjoon had puppy ears, they definitely just perked up. “You don’t find me disgusting?”
“For how long have you wanted to?” Seokjin asked instead. He didn’t tell Namjoon that just a few moments ago, Seokjin had been imagining the same thing. Namjoon blushed.
“Ever since I first presented,” As if worried Seokjin would misunderstand, Namjoon added on immediately, “It has nothing to do with that temporary mark.”
—
Five years ago
Seokjin was twenty-one, officially announced as the heir of the Kim Clan. Namjoon, on the other hand, had started to participate in missions. At this age, Seokjin knew how twisted their family, including him and Namjoon, was. Neither of them felt it was wrong to task a teenager to kill, or have a young adult learn to destroy another person’s life. Heck, Seokjin didn’t even feel guilty in the slightest bit. They were the ones who picked the wrong battle. Why should Seokjin feel bad?
They surely didn’t feel bad about pointing a gun at a young adult’s head.
“You’re the heir? Your father must be insane,” It was the leader of a new rival gang. They had been growing rapidly recently, and the streets had been saying that they might take over the Kim Clan’s rule. Seokjin never cared about them because they didn’t deserve his attention.
“Yes,” Seokjin leaned back into the chair. Had his limbs not been tied to the chair, he would have crossed his legs, as if he were a guest, not a hostage. “And you don’t want to do this.”
“Here’s what’s going to happen, pretty boy,” Seokjin tried flexing his limbs. He wasn’t going to be able to free himself. “You’re going to record a video, and your parents will pay us ransom.”
Seokjin snorted, “Idiots. All of you.”
The buff man slapped him. Seokjin tasted blood. So this was why his father taught him to suppress new gangs as they emerged. Because if he didn’t, they would think anyone could take their place. Seokjin chuckled, “Fine. Set the cameras. I’ll do exactly as you say.”
“No funny things,” The kidnapper seemed to find it unbelievable that Seokjin gave in easily. Little did he know, taking down the Kim Clan wasn’t as easy as getting some money or killing the heir.
“Father, please save me,” Seokjin said into the camera, “They want money,”
“You bitch!” Oops, was the sarcasm too loud? Seokjin laughed as the kidnapper kicked his chair over. His head hurts from the collision. But if there was one thing his father taught him, it was to never let his fear show. “You really think I won’t kill you?”
“Release me, and you might live. Kill me, and you will pay the price.” Seokjin smirked, “Surely not even you are that dumb.”
“We just need you alive,” The man stepped on Seokjin’s head. “Doesn’t matter what state.”
“I am terrified,” Seokjin laughed. He stared right into the kidnapper’s eyes, “How about you? Are you ready to face the consequences?”
“I think you don’t understand the situation you’re in,” The kidnapper waved a hand. Seokjin heard footsteps closing in. “Teach him.”
It hurt as hell. The world was spinning. Seokjin gritted his teeth, not letting a single moan spill as they went on relentlessly. There were going to be bruises all over, if not worse. Seokjin could taste blood in his mouth. When the pain finally stopped, Seokjin could barely breathe. Still, he could smell the horrible smell of cigarettes. All this while, the main kidnapper had been taking a smoke. One of his followers pulled him together with the chair off the ground as the man came forward. He puffed the smoke on Seokjin’s face. “Ready to cooperate now?”
Seokjin spat on his face.
The world started buzzing as the man slapped him. It was fine. He could guess what the guy was saying. Probably an order for round 2. Seokjin chuckled and opened his mouth before they could start. His voice was weak after the beating, but it was clear, “Yang Miran.”
“Lee Yunho.”
“Lee Yuna.”
“Ah… What was the name of the newborn?” Seokjin coughed up blood. He took in slow, shaky breaths. He struggled to focus his vision. The kidnapper looked like he saw a ghost. That’s right. Regret. Fear him. Should have thought about that before kidnapping him. He smirked as he whispered, “Lee Yunmi?”
“You–”
“Ahh, it hurts everywhere.” Seokjin was tied to a chair, but he sure as hell wasn’t on the passive side. “If I were you, I’d start moving them out of the Kim Clan’s reach.”
To truly instill fear into someone, it was to find what they cared about most. To some, it was power, to some it was money. And to some, it was family. Now that they had already hit him, it was too late to turn back. Seokjin had taunted them to hit him for this exact moment. In the streets, one does not start a family unless they were sure they can protect it. To think they started a war before hiding their family. There was a reason why Seokjin’s family never took them seriously. The leader was going to live the rest of his life fearing the Kim Clan would hunt his family for revenge. Seokjin took the chance to breathe as the man made a decision. He loved it when they realized the consequences of their actions.
“Ah-ah,” Seokjin tutted as the leader pulled his collar, looking like some sort of angered animal. Seokjin kindly reminded him, “Killing me will only make things worse. I’m just the heir. Even without me, someone else will be giving out orders to hunt them down.”
“You– I–” Despair loomed over the man. Tsk tsk, he acted as if Seokjin was the bad guy.
“Ready to cooperate now?” Seokjin asked mockingly. He leaned as forward as the ropes would allow, “Release me this instance and I will keep them out of this. Otherwise, I assure you, my family will find them before the sun sets. You know what happens next.”
After a long pause, the kidnapper knelt in front of him and pulled out a knife. His henchman called out to him in surprise, but he ignored them. “You swear you’ll keep them out of this?”
“Of course,” Seokjin nodded triumphantly, “I keep my promises.”
Just as the last piece of rope snapped, the sound of sirens wailing broke through the air. Chaos erupted from outside the room as the sound of police arresting the guards was heard. Huh. And here Seokjin had been ready to walk into the police station himself. Good to know there was no need for that. The leader’s first instinct was to point a gun at Seokjin’s head, probably planning to use him as a hostage. Seokjin raised an eyebrow and dared him to. He didn’t even bother to remind him that his family was at risk. With no surprise, Seokjin won the staring contest. The leader lowered his gun and turned tail. Seokjin smirked and crossed his legs. If anyone saw him now, they wouldn’t have guessed he was the hostage.
The captain of the squad escorted Seokjin to a police cab personally. He leaned against it as he watched the scene unfold. At the end of the day, only a few henchmen escaped. This wasn’t their base, but this will definitely take a toll on their power. They were never a threat before; they were even less so now. Seokjin shook his head as he watched them being forced into police cabs. Didn’t even have a spy to warn them, and they thought they could win. Idiots.
“Young Master Seokjin,” The captain of the squad came over after everything was over. Seokjin stood up straight to face him. He winced at the pain, fuck them all. “Are you alright?”
“Thanks for the help,” They shook hands. “How’d you find me?”
“Your brother is one hell of a force,” The captain chuckled. “He pulled out a map and circled this place, saying that this was their nearest hideout to where he lost contact with you. When one of us tried to suggest other possibilities, he pressed the pen on his neck and threatened to kill him if anything happened to you because of the delay. I have no doubts he would have come with us if he hadn’t wanted the police to finish them up. Mark my words, he will present as an alpha.”
“Oh, don’t stereotype, hyung-nim. Betas can be terrifying too,” Seokjin’s heart swelled in pride. Namjoon was amazing. He nodded towards the leader, who was being dragged to a car with cuffs behind him. Amazingly, the leader was captured. No one will hear from them anytime soon, “I’m an omega and people still fear me.”
“I’m glad we’re not enemies,” The captain sighed, “Well, your brother should be here soon–”
As if on cue, the sound of a racing bike broke the peace. A vibrant blue motorcycle was speeding in this direction. Seokjin smiled at the number plate. Namjoon.
“Hyung!!!” Namjoon threw his helmet to the ground and ran towards him like an overgrown puppy. The relief on his face was evident. On habit, Seokjin prepared for impact. He forgot how heavily injured he was. He let out a shout of pain as Namjoon pulled him into a tight hug. Everything went white. Namjoon released him immediately. “They hit you?!”
“I’m fine…” Seokjin took a long, shaky breath. He couldn’t let Namjoon feel guilty. It wasn’t his fault. When he could see again, he noticed Namjoon was glaring at something. He followed Namjoon’s gaze and saw the leader. Namjoon’s hands were trembling. In fury or fear, Seokjin did not know. He watched as Namjoon pulled out a gun. He even stopped the captain when he tried to stop Namjoon. It would have been a lie to say Seokjin didn’t see it coming; he just didn't mind. He watched as the leader’s blood spilled on the floor.
“Yah!” The officer that had been holding the leader knelt and applied pressure the wound. They all knew it was futile. Namjoon never misses. Even if they called the ambulance now, it would be too late. The man drew his gun and pointed it at Namjoon. “Drop your weapons! Hands in the air! You’re under arrest for murder!”
“Yah, put that away,” The captain quickly said. Too late. Seokjin was already feeling murderous.
“What murder?” Seokjin coughed weakly. He stared at the officer coldly, daring him to repeat himself. “He was shot while trying to escape. It was his fault for not surrendering.”
“Captain!” The officer turned to his captain for help. Maybe he thought Seokjin wasn’t as bold as twisting the truth right in front of so many police. Must have been a newbie. No one told him about the balance between the two sides. Seokjin didn’t bother to have a conversation with him.
“Let this be an accident, and this is where he ends,” Seokjin stared at the captain coldly, challenging him to arrest Namjoon. If they dared to arrest Namjoon, Seokjin dared to break the balance. Let there be a full-out war between the police and mafias. “Arrest him, and I will ensure my family avenges us. I’m sure you don’t want a full-out gun fight?”
“... It is as you said,” The captain said. Good. “This was an accident.”
Seokjin turned around and pulled Namjoon’s arm gently, his tone softening, “Let’s go.”
“Hyung…” Namjoon looked like a lost puppy.
Seokjin chuckled, “Bring me to the hospital, I need a full check-up.”
For the next few days, Namjoon never let Seokjin out of his sight. Namjoon followed him around like a shadow. Going as far as waiting outside the toilet. At night, Namjoon insisted on sleeping together. Seokjin could only sigh in response. He knew Namjoon needed this. On that day, they were supposed to watch a movie together. Namjoon had been explaining why he was running late when Seokjin was dragged into the van. Namjoon must have thought that if he had been punctual that day, Seokjin wouldn’t have been kidnapped. It was not Namjoon’s fault in any way, but Seokjin knew the only way to let Namjoon get over his unreasonable guilt was to let him ‘make up’ for it. Starting with killing the leader.
Still, Seokjin reminded Namjoon every day, “It’s not your fault. They had guns; you wouldn’t have been able to do anything even if you were with me. And you managed to make the police get rid of the whole gang! We didn’t even have to dirty our hands. You did amazing, Namjoon.”
Namjoon’s reaction had always been to squeeze Seokjin’s hand. Had Seokjin been in a state for hugs, Seokjin had no doubt Namjoon would squeeze him tight. Seokjin could only stroke Namjoon’s hair comfortingly. Slowly, but surely, things were going to be alright.
“Hyung, do you smell lemongrass?” Until that one fateful night. “And honey?”
Seokjin’s eyes snapped open. His bruises had almost faded completely, so he could sit up in alert. Namjoon followed suit, though he was clearly confused as to why Seokjin was reacting so strongly to lemongrass and honey. Namjoon was nineteen, most people presented before eighteen. Could it be? Seokjin pulled Namjoon closer by the neck and sniffed. It was faint, but Seokjin could smell lemongrass. There was no doubt. Namjoon was presenting.
“You need to get back to your room, now.”
It was chaos in the Kim Clan mansion. No one had been expecting Namjoon to present. They had nothing prepared. Their parents were away on a business trip, so Seokjin was the one expected to remain calm. He first chased Namjoon back to his own room and then made the necessary calls. He then ordered the servants to prepare the required items. There was no telling if Namjoon would present an alpha or omega, so they prepared for both. He also called the family doctor over just to be safe. By the time everything was ready, it was already dawn. Now, all they had to do was wait for Namjoon’s first rut or heat to hit.
“Do you still remember your sex education? If you tell me you didn’t pay attention in class because you thought you were a beta, I will slap you.” Seokjin didn’t know why he felt so nervous. He wasn’t the one presenting.
Namjoon, the actual person presenting, on the other hand, seemed really calm about it. His voice came through the phone, “Hyung will never hit me. And yes, I remember.”
“Are you sure you have enough supplies in there? Do you need more?” Seokjin stressed, “You know you can’t come outside for your first rut or heat, right? Because it’s unstable?”
“I know. I don’t want to become a sex slave in public, don’t worry.”
“Language,” Seokjin sighed in defeat.
“Sorry,” Namjoon didn’t sound apologetic at all. “Hyung, what do you think I will be?”
“You?” Seokjin thought about the captain’s words, “People think you’ll be an alpha.”
“Oh no. I only know how omegas work,” Namjoon joked. Seokjin rolled his eyes fondly. He had his back against Namjoon’s door. He was sure Namjoon was doing the same. It was sort of funny that they were communicating through the phone, though they were just one door apart. It couldn’t be helped. No one knew when Namjoon’s first rut or heat would hit. The safe way was for Namjoon to be in his room until it was over. “But what do you think?”
“It doesn’t make a difference to me,” Seokjin answered sincerely. Namjoon will always be an overgrown puppy to him. “How about you? Have a preference?”
“I want to be an alpha,” Namjoon said gently, “Then I can protect you.”
“What are you, a kid?” Seokjin couldn’t help but smile, “And you’re already protecting me.”
“It’s different. If I’m an alpha, I’ll become even faster and stronger. No one can ever harm you again,” Namjoon said seriously, “But I’m scared that I’ll become an alpha like… Him.”
Him? Oh, him. As Seokjin looked back at the first year they knew each other, he could guess that Namjoon’s parents hadn’t treated him well. Especially his biological father. Namjoon never liked to talk about it, so Seokjin never pushed. They were gone anyway. All that mattered was that Namjoon was no longer the little kid who was afraid to eat, knowing nothing but to say sorry.
“What was he like?” Seokjin asked carefully.
“He’s your typical abusive father,” Namjoon said, “I know it’s nothing compared to some of the cases we have seen… But he…”
“Just because others are suffering more, it doesn’t mean your pain is any less valid,” Seokjin said firmly. “I hope you can still confide in me.”
Namjoon chuckled, “For a long time, I was afraid of making mistakes. At first, I was afraid of getting chased out, then I was afraid of causing trouble for the family that saved me from that hell… I… I was scared I would be sent back to him if I failed.”
“You will always be part of us,” Seokjin wanted to get in there to hug him, “You get rid of troubles for us. You’re amazing. You always have been.”
“Thank you, hyung, for always being there for me.” It must have been the hormones that made Namjoon this cringy. “If it wasn’t for your love, I would have never become the way I am today.”
Seokjin could feel his ears burning, “I only did the bare minimum.”
“You never blamed me for making any mistakes, you just encouraged me to handle the consequences. If I couldn’t handle it, you would help me out.” Namjoon said, “Time after time, you stood protectively in front of me. I should have been the one protecting you.”
“You’re my family, who would I protect if not you?” Seokjin said on instinct. Namjoon muttered something that Seokjin couldn’t hear clearly, “What did you just say?”
“Nothing!” Namjoon answered instantly, then gasped, “I think I feel something.”
Seokjin’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t interested in what Namjoon was hiding anymore. There were more important things. “How do you feel? Is it here?”
“The lights feel too bright,” Seokjin heard the sound of Namjoon turning off the lights, “I want to bite something. Fuck, I want to hit the wall. Hyung, am I…?!”
“You’re going through your first rut,” Seokjin laughed, “Congratulations, your dream came true.”
“Fuck.” Namjoon didn’t explain, but Seokjin knew the issue. Their family doctor had already warned that late bloomers never had any fun experiences because their already matured body was forcefully evolving. Meaning that no matter what Namjoon presented as, he was going to go through hell. Especially if he presents as an alpha, for everything will overwhelm him.
“I know, I know. Deep breaths,” Seokjin lowered his voice. “Remember what the doctor said.”
“All of this is normal, I know. Fuck,” Namjoon groaned. Seokjin’s heart clenched. Suddenly, he hoped that Namjoon would present as an omega. At least painkillers could help with the pain of suddenly growing a womb. Alphas had to pay the price of being overstimulated in turn of having stronger and faster bodies. There was nothing Seokjin could do to help. “Hyung, you there?”
“Always.”
“That makes me feel better.”
Life as the heir was busy. His father had tasked him to wipe out the gang that hurt him. This was the first time his father gave him full power to handle something. Take revenge as you like, was his exact words. So while Seokjin kept his promise of leaving their family out of it, he ensured the gang was erased from existence. There was also the legal business that he had to learn about. No matter how busy he was, Seokjin made sure to check his phone frequently. He didn’t want to miss a call from Namjoon. Namjoon needed him. But as days passed, Namjoon’s rut showed no signs of stopping. Seokjin frowned. A rut shouldn’t have lasted more than a week. At the very least, it should be calming down by now. Was it because Namjoon was a late bloomer?
The family doctor disagreed. “Ruts are ruts. It should be ending by now.”
“Aren’t prolonged ruts dangerous?” Seokjin felt his blood run cold.
“Even more so than prolonged heat, as alpha might hurt themselves.” She placed a hand under her chin as she thought of a solution. “Young Master, do you know if he is dating?”
“He’s not,” With Namjoon by his side every day, he would have known if Namjoon was dating. “Why? Do you plan on letting him fuck someone?”
“Sexual intercourse isn’t necessary to end a rut or heat,” She corrected him firmly. “This is just my theory, but if he’s dating someone, he will feel extremely agitated for not seeing them for so long. There is the possibility that it’s causing his body to refuse to leave the battle state, hence the prolonged rut. Marking them – temporarily, of course – will tell his alpha that they’re under his protection, hence relaxing and, as a result, help stop the rut.”
“I thought you didn’t plan to let him fuck someone?”
“I don’t. Though often associated with each other, they are separate things. That’s why it’s impossible to accidentally bite an omega’s neck in a ‘heated’ moment, just like it’s impossible to be aroused after getting dead drunk.” She pushed her glasses and looked at Seokjin judgmentally, “Did they not teach that during sex education?”
“...” Getting marked had not been part of Seokjin’s plan, so, truth to be told, he didn’t really remember much. He was being a hypocrite to threaten Namjoon about not remembering sex education. Whatever. “So you’re suggesting I find someone for him?”
“You really remember nothing about marks,” She shook her head disapprovingly. “Marks, even temporary ones, can’t form unless both sides consent. Even if you could find an omega that is willing to sacrifice, I doubt Young Master Namjoon would be willing to.”
That was true.
“What normal people without mates do is to receive a special sedative at the hospital, but Young Master Namjoon can’t do that, can he?” She shrugged.
Being part of the Kim Clan meant having dangerous enemies. If Namjoon ends up in the hospital, who knows if he was injected with the sedative or something else? But where was he going to find an omega that Namjoon was willing to mark? Wait.
“He can mark me, right?” Seokjin saw hope, “I’m an omega.”
The family doctor’s jaw dropped, but she regained composure quickly, “... Technically, yes. You're not related by blood, so there won’t be any negative effects. But are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? You said there wouldn’t be any negative effects.”
“It’s not negative, but there will be after effects. You will want Young Master Namjoon’s scent constantly. Clingy, as they call it. And he will be very possessive of you,” She explained, “He’s your brother, are you sure you can accept that? Alternatively, we can try to steal a sedative.”
“That will need time,” And Namjoon was in pain. “If it can stop his rut, I’ll do it.”
“Let me clarify, marking only helps calm his alpha down, it doesn’t actually stop his rut,” She shook her head, “Nevermind, I’ll save sex education for another day. Just know that this is a special case. And take precaution. He’s still in rut.”
“Understood.” Seokjin understood nothing. All he knew was that Namjoon needed his help.
Still, the concept of letting someone bite the back of this neck was terrifying. Seokjin took a deep breath before knocking on Namjoon’s door. This was Namjoon. Namjoon would never hurt him. He pushed the door open gently. They had already communicated on the phone before, so the air purifier was already on. Still, the remaining scent of lemongrass made Seokjin’s knees go weak. Damn. Namjoon was hugging his knees on the bed with bags under his eyes, clearly not able to sleep properly. Seokjin felt his heart clench. He went over to Namjoon. It’s been a week since he’s seen Namjoon. Had he gotten even taller? His features felt sharper too. “Hey.”
“Hyung? Why are you here?” And yet, Namjoon managed to brighten up at the sight of Seokjin. Though it immediately turned to panic, “My rut isn’t over yet. You should have sent a beta–”
“Namjoon, I lied, there is no medicine.” Seokjin knew Namjoon wouldn’t have agreed if he told him beforehand. “Long story short, our solution is to let you mark me temporarily.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened, “I can’t do that!”
“Don’t be scared of hurting me,” Seokjin ruffled Namjoon’s hair. “It’s a normal process all mates do. Or do you think I’m weaker than them?”
“No–” Namjoon retreated further into his corner. “I don’t want to hurt you. In any way.”
“You will never hurt me,” The bed dipped as Seokjin climbed onto it. He cupped Namjoon’s cheek gently and waited until Namjoon looked him in the eyes. Namjoon’s whole body was tense, but he didn’t push Seokjin away. “You haven’t been sleeping well.”
Namjoon gritted his teeth, and suddenly, Seokjin found himself pulled into a hug. The force was so strong that Seokjin fell onto Namjoon. Holy. Alpha Namjoon was stronger than he expected. Namjoon was squeezing him with a force that Seokjin thought he would choke. Yet, Seokjin felt no wear. Namjoon would never hurt him. He returned the hug. Namjon sounded like a wronged boy who finally found someone to cry to, “It’s all so annoying.”
“Everything is too loud, too bright. Sex education lied. Deep breaths don’t help.”
“My nerves were constantly on edge, like I’m on a mission, not knowing when they would strike. I was so scared. My heart wouldn’t stop racing. I wanted to tear everything apart.”
“And the worst part is I couldn’t see you.” Namjoon’s words made Seokjin widen his eyes.
Seokjin was the reason Namjoon’s rut wouldn’t end. Fuck. This was all his fault. He knew Namjoon blamed himself for the kidnapping. Of course his alpha was too worried to calm down, knowing that Seokjin went to work without Namjoon. Had Seokjin chosen to work from home instead, maybe Namjoon’s rut would have been over by now. Oh his idiot overgrown puppy. Seokjin stroked Namjoon’s back gently, “I’m here now.”
“Hyung, I missed you.”
“Just mark me, Namjoon-ah.”
Seokjin didn’t even bother to remind Namjoon to only give a temporary one. He didn’t care if Namjoon accidentally marked him permanently. Because Namjoon needed him, and Namjoon never needed to be reminded.
—
Seokjin was enjoying this more than he should have. There should have been some sort of twist in his stomach or shame for letting his brother fucking him into oblivion. The only shame Seokjin felt was the lack of tools to try out more plays. A big shame, really. Still, having Namjoon pinning him down on the bed was absolutely amazing. In no way could Seokjin fight back. And he fucking loved it. He loved it when Namjoon left marks all over his body, making sure everyone knew he was taken. He loved it when Namjoon whispered into his ear, telling him how beautiful he looked. He loved it when Namjoon slapped his ass, warning him not to touch himself. At some point, Seokjin forgot who he was and what he was doing. It felt so good.
The best part? After each wave, Namjoon would bring water to Seokjin and help him clean himself. All Seokjin had to do was rest. During breaks, they’d watch a movie or just do their own thing. Sometimes, Namjoon would give Seokjin’s sore back a massage. All in all, having an alpha taking care of him made his omega swoon. There was no way he could go back to pills after experiencing this. Nevermind his next heat, Seokjin didn’t know how to go back to work tomorrow. These days have been too good.
Tomorrow, Seokjin would have to return to work while Namjoon had missions to do. Honestly, Seokjin doesn’t know what was going to happen to their relationship. What would change? What wouldn’t change? For one, Seokjin couldn’t find it in him to insist that they not sleep in the same bed. Boundaries? What boundaries? They’ve fucked. They were now lying in Seokjin’s bed together, enjoying the last night before they had to return to reality.
“This is like a dream to me,” Namjoon kissed his hand. “What are we going to tell our parents?”
That reminded Seokjin of a conversation they needed to have. “That depends. Why did you want to do this? Just because of my body?”
“No!” Namjoon cut him short. Aha. So it was something more.
“Even you are not immune to my charms, huh?” Seokjin joked.
“Never.” Namjoon’s voice was barely a sigh. Seokjin had only been trying to lighten the mood, but Namjoon sounded like he was swearing his life on it. He probably was. Goodness. Seokjin always knew that whenever Namjoon was around, no one could ever harm him. There wasn't much Seokjin could do to return the favor; the only thing he could do was give Namjoon whatever he wanted. But this. “Hyung… I’m sorry.”
“You protect me, you trust me unconditionally, you give me special treatment. You don't just give me the sense of security, you are my security. I already have more than what others can't even dream of,” Namjoon's eyes glistened, “And still I want more. I want to be your mate, hyung.”
“I–”
Namjoon kissed him. It was just a light peck to silence him, nothing compared to what they had done for the past few days. Yet it felt much heavier. A confession, that's what it was.
“Don't answer me now,” Namjoon's voice was trembling, “I know you’ll probably say something like we could try it. But that’s not what I want. I want you to want me the same way I want you.”
“It’s fine if you don't love me the same way. It's fine if you want to push me away,” Namjoon sounded anything but fine. “Just think about it, hyung. Carefully. Please.”
“Okay,” Seokjin pressed their foreheads together, “Okay.”
After that, nothing seemed to change. Namjoon still carried out missions perfectly. Namjoon still kept him safe whenever he had to face the leaders of other gangs. Namjoon still whined to him like an overgrown puppy. Yet, everything seemed to have changed. Whenever Seokjin was in the room with Namjoon alone, all he could think of were those few days. He couldn’t see Namjoon’s muscles properly anymore. When Namjoon got too close, like when he hugged Seokjin, Seokjin’s heart would race. What did that make the bastard? Not that Seokjin cared about him, but what did that make Seokjin? Was he a bastard too, for moving on so fast? There was only one person he could talk to about this matter. Not Namjoon. Their mother.
“My baby is finally suffering the pain of love. Wonderful,” She giggled, “Go on, tell me who it is.”
“Mum, you should be telling me if I’m a horrible person for moving on too fast.” Seokjin sighed. Why did he think it was a good idea to talk to her?
“Of course you are. Who falls for another person so fast?” Seokjin’s mother scoffed, “It means you didn’t love them much in the first place. That, or you see them in the person you’re falling for. Or the other way around. But who cares? As long as you treat them well.”
“He treated me well, too.”
“He betrayed you. You didn’t betray anyone. Do they know about him?”
“Yes.”
“Does he care?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Ah, so they’re a ‘he’ and someone close,” His mother will always be his mother. It was fine. He drank his tea calmly because there was no way– “Namjoon?”
Seokjin choked, “How the fuck?!”
“Watch your language, boy.” She tutted, “Did you think just because you’re taking over, we would lose our skills? We didn’t run the family based on luck, you know.”
True. Seokjin shouldn't have been surprised that his parents noticed. The question was, how are they cool with it?! Seokjin remained shocked as his mother texted on her phone with a triumphant smile. She said, “Your father owes me a new bag.”
They had a bet?!
“So, tell me, what have you two done?”
“How did you know about his feelings?” Seokjin asked instead, refusing to say they fucked.
“Because I have eyes?” Was that supposed to mean Seokjin didn’t? “Have you seen the way Namjoon looks at you? Your father and I were betting if he’d ever do something about it.”
“The way he looks at me?” Seokjin tried to think. Namjoon was always smiling brightly like a kid. When some people get too close, he’d glare. Whenever someone tries to threaten him, Namjoon would draw his gun… Oh. “Oh.”
“Yes, oh. I warned you not to spoil your brother. And what did you say? Namjoon is already sacrificing so much for the family. Please, as if you’d ever sacrifice him,” She then sat up straight, her gaze turning sharp, “Frankly, your father and I don’t care so long as the family runs. If you two let your relationship disrupt business, we will interfere. Is that understood?”
“Yes, mum.” Wait, no. “We’re not in a relationship.”
Her mum raised an eyebrow, her gaze switching back into gossip mode. “Then?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m talking to you,” Seokjin tried to think about where to start. “I know I feel something, but I don’t know if it’s fair to him.”
“I’d say you being worried about this is a good start,” She nodded in approval. “Well then, let’s talk about the cheater first. What did you love about him?”
“He treats me well,” Memories started to resurface, “He doesn’t care about my status. He would talk to me about his hobbies, joke with me, and bring meals for me. What?”
She was looking at him very judgmentally. She shook her head, “Now let’s talk about Namjoon. What makes you interested in him?”
“He’s strong,” Seokjin conveniently hid the fact of how he learned about that, “He’s smart too, but not a nerd, he’s funny. And he’s extremely attractive when he enters protective mode. And he–”
“Stop,” His mother held out a hand, “Do you see the difference?”
Seokjin blinked. She sighed as if Seokjin were a lost cause.
“You loved the cheater because he treated you well. You grew up with everyone, including Namjoon, looking up to you, and when someone who treats you like an equal or perhaps at times, someone who needs to be protected,” She acted as if she wanted to gag. “You fell for them. But boy, treating you well is something he should do. Not a reason for you to love him.”
That… made so much sense.
“On the other hand, you’re attracted to Namjoon because of who he is,” She said, “I don’t know what took you so long to notice, but now that you do, I’d say you don’t have to worry about it being fair to Namjoon. Because trust me, your eyes aren’t any less disgusting than his.”
“What did I do???”
“Look at yourself in the mirror when you look at him next time. I’m surprised Namjoon was never tempted to make a move on you before this. I know I didn’t hold back when your father looked at me like that.” TMI. Seokjin didn’t ask. “Let me ask you this: when you were dating that asshole, did you ever compare him to Namjoon?”
“... Yes.” Now that she mentioned it. He sure did. Whenever that bastard held the door for him or whatever, the first thought in Seokjin’s mind was that no alpha but Namjoon had done that for him. In fact, everything Seokjin liked about him could be found in Namjoon. God. Seokjin was dumb. Seokjin was so, so dumb. Was the bastard turning out to be a cheater a blessing in disguise? Otherwise, how was Seokjin going to break up with him because he realized all this while Seokjin had been treating him as a replacement for Namjoon?
“So? What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. Namjoon mentioned he’s waited very long, what if I can’t love as strongly as him?”
“How much more do you want to love?” She raised an eyebrow, “You let him use your black card, you threaten anyone who tries to hurt him, you let him lock you in his room.”
“That was because he marked me–”
“Jin,” She sighed, “Love is all about giving everything, but still think it’s not enough. I know. But haven’t you realised? You’re already treating him as a mate.”
“So the only question is, do you love him as an alpha? If yes, go ahead. If not, reject him.”
“You make it sound simple.”
“Is it supposed to be complicated?”
Seokjin still felt uncomfortable. This was Namjoon. That last kiss had felt so heavy. Seokjin can't just claim to be in love the same way in like, what a month?
“Don’t rush for an answer. He’s waited for so long, surely he can wait for more,” Seokjin’s mother said slowly. She took a sip slowly before continuing, “If you decide to reject him, start pushing him away. Stop letting him drag you around, stop entering his territory, stop treating him like the palm of your eye. Draw boundaries, enforce them. Don’t give him any sort of hope.”
It was clear that she was just taunting Seokjin. But Seokjin couldn’t help it. Seokjin could just imagine the way Namjoon’s imaginary ears would droop. Seokjin’s heart clenched. He can’t bear to see that. Namjoon deserved the world and more. Oh. Seokjin looked up at his mother. She just smiled, “It seems like you already have your answer.”
She waved, and two men in black came over; one stood behind each of them. Seokjin frowned. They were her bodyguards, handpicked by his father. What was the meaning of this? Seokjin frowned. His mother crossed her legs and leaned back into her chair, smiling dangerously. Clearly, she wasn’t just his mother anymore. Seokjin wondered if he looked like her when he did the same. One of them handed Seokjin a tablet. Seokjin’s blood froze. Namjoon was being held on the ground by a gang of people, struggling to no avail. Who dares to?! Seokjin stood in fury. The bodyguard behind him placed a hand on his shoulder firmly, forcing him to sit still.
“Look closer, young man,” His mother took a slice of cake.
Seokjin took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He looked at the video again. It was a CCTV recording from half an hour ago. Exactly the time he planned to meet with his mother. Seokjin zoomed in on the screen. He recognized those men. They were part of an allied gang. Were they challenging them?! If that was the case, why was his mother so calm? Unless.
“Father did this?” Seokjin exclaimed in disbelief, “Why?!”
She gestured for her bodyguards to hand Seokjin earbuds, “Figure it out yourself.”
Seokjin has watched many bloody scenes, but he couldn’t watch the men forcing Namjoon to kneel. Every second twisted a knife in Seokjin’s heart. Even if his father was against their relationship, can’t he deal with Seokjin directly?! Seokjin felt his blood boil. How could they do this to Namjoon?! He was his son, too! How could he?! Finally, with a knife against Namjoon’s neck, they managed to tie Namjoon down. The door opened. Namjoon glared up at the man who entered. The leader of the allied gang.
“You’re betraying us?” Namjoon growled.
“Yup,” The man nodded, “And you’re going to help me get more weapons.”
“Go to hell,” Namjoon spat, “I will never help you.”
“Who said you need to do anything?” The man smirked, “I’m sure your brother will willingly send them to me once he knows you’re in my hands.”
This was the message that they wanted to send him. Namjoon can be used to threaten him. Of course they could. Seokjin gasped in horror as Namjoon leaned forward towards the knife. Had the man holding the knife not reacted fast enough, Namjoon would have killed himself there and then. This was too much. He will rip their gang apart, wipe them off the surface of Earth. How dare they hurt him?! Seokjin glared at his mother, she gestured for him to keep watching.
“Yo, what the hell, man? Calm down. It’s not that serious,” The leader turned towards the door and raised his voice, “Hyung-nim, I don’t want Young Master Seokjin on my ass. You have to protect me when he learns about this!”
“You’ll be fine,” In came the true leader of the biggest mafia and the head of the Kim Clan, their father. He looked up at the camera pointedly, probably staring at Seokjin, telling him this was meant for him to watch. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Namjoon?”
“Let him go,” Their father waved, and the men holding Namjoon released him. They all bowed politely before retreating from the room. “Take a seat,”
“Father,” Namjoon staggered. “What…?”
“That is my question to you. Do you know why I did this?”
Namjoon shook his head.
“Then let me ask you this,” His father pulled a chair for himself, “What do you think about Jin?”
Namjoon paled immediately. Seokjin saw the four-year-old child who was caught trying to steal a cookie. No. Seokjin’s grip on the tablet tightened. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest. He didn’t dare to keep watching. Namjoon didn’t deserve to have his secret called out like that. Despite his fears, the bodyguard behind him pressed play.
“Kim Namjoon, listen clearly,” Their father said with a stern voice, “Whoever you love is none of my business, but if Kim Seokjin is the one you love, then I must interfere.”
Namjoon tightened his fists. “Are you going to send me away?”
“If I wanted to stop you, why would I ask them to do that?” Their father sighed, “Heads up.”
Namjoon looked up.
“Do you not realize that you’re Jin’s weak spot?” His father said, “Today was all but an act. But everyone, and I mean everyone, knows that Jin loves his younger brother. As you can see, they can still win you with numbers, so it’s not because you’re strong that they haven’t tried anything funny. They just don’t do it because they don’t think it’s worth the risk. Afterall, no matter how much Jin spoils you, you are but a scapegoat. We know that isn’t the case, but they don’t.”
“Things change if you are Jin’s mate.”
Fuck, what if Namjoon thought their father was warning him to back down? Hell, what if Namjoon decided to stay away for Seokjin’s sake? No! Namjoon was anything but a burden to Seokjin! No one can make him think that way! Seokjin wanted to rush in there to hug Namjoon and promise that he would grow strong enough so that no one ever dares to think about that. Seokjin was stuck watching a stupid tablet. The video kept playing. Namjoon remained silent for a while, then stared back up at their father. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw determination instead of resignation in Namjoon’s eyes.
“How about mum?” Namjoon asked slowly. “She’s your mate too, and no one dares to harm her.”
“Because your mother is amazingly smart and alert,” Their father smirked, seemingly happy Namjoon asked that question. “Also because she has bodyguards,”
“That isn’t the main reason,” Namjoon squared his shoulders, “She’s safe because you’re strong enough to protect her. They know that even if you gave them weapons, they wouldn’t get far with them. Hyung is still growing, but he will become as strong as you are.”
Their father nodded encouragingly. Namjoon continued, “I understand the risks. But I not just have Jin-hyung behind me, I also have my brothers in the mafia. If anyone dares to capture me, they will make them pay. They will save me, if I don’t get out myself first.”
“Remember that before you try to slice your throat open again,” Their father scoffed. He stood and patted Namjoon’s shoulder, “It’s unavoidable that people will use you against him, but know that Jin will never think of you as a burden. Just like I do to your mother.”
Namjoon nodded firmly, then asked slowly, “Father… Aren’t you angry at me?”
“If I were angry, I would have disowned you a long time ago,” Their father had the same judgmental expression as their mother. “Why the surprise? Boy, I have led the Kim Clan for longer than you’ve been born. I know how to read people, and you are not subtle at all. Why do you think I always reminded you to act serious outside?”
“Why…?”
“It’s not like it’s a bad thing. Unless Jin never falls in love, it’s only a matter of time before a weak spot is formed. It’s better if it’s you,” Their father said, “Just remember, keep Jin’s hands clean. You’re the scapegoat we raised. Even if Jin won’t allow it, you have to remember that.”
Seokjin wanted to punch his own father. But Namjoon nodded, “I will.”
The video ended there. Seokjin didn’t know if he wanted to slap Namjoon for thinking that way or punch his father for talking to him like that. He gritted his teeth, his grip on the tablet so tight his hands hurt. His mother had just finished her cake, pushing the empty plate forward as gracefully as always, as if she hadn’t been part of a plan to beat her own son up.
“Don’t glare at your mother like that, it’s just a gentle reminder from us,” She twirled her teacup slowly, smiling innocently, “A few punches is the least that will happen to Namjoon if he ever gets caught by enemies. Trust me. I’ve been captured before; it was not fun.”
Her voice had been barely a whisper. Seokjin has only heard stories of it; neither of his parents was willing to talk about it. There was a reason his father always reminded him to never show his love until he was absolutely sure he could protect them. She continued, “Still, if your father dares to push me away just because it’ll put me in danger, I will point the gun at his head.”
“... You think Namjoon thinks the same?”
“I’m pretty sure he’d be offended if you didn’t trust his abilities to defend himself. And yes, I know he thinks the same,” His mother nodded, “If you want this to work, you need to be brave enough to accept the risks. I hope I didn’t raise a coward.”
“I am not,” Seokjin understood the message they were sending, “I will face the risks head-on and not push him away in the name of protection.”
“Is that your final answer?” She smirked.
“Yes.”
—
Three years ago
Seokjin was twenty-three and Namjoon was twenty-one. Namjoon had risen to fame in the mafia while Seokjin was just a fresh grad in the legal side of the company. As far as Seokjin knew, most of the mafia didn’t accept him as the future leader. Unlike back when they were teenagers, Seokjin no longer felt jealous of Namjoon’s achievements. Unfortunately, nowadays, they seldom see each other. They had both moved out from their parents’ place, Seokjin moving into an apartment nearer to his office while Namjoon had his own safehouse. They didn’t move in together because one, they could afford it. Two, boundaries. With their opposite subgenders, things had to change. Boundaries had to be drawn.
Not that Seokjin gave a fuck the instant he received news Namjoon was injured.
The task was to kill a corrupt official. Not for any moral reason, though, but because, since he was caught abusing his power, if he died, the people wouldn’t press for an answer. The official was targeted simply because he was part of the party that was starting to forget who helped them earn their place. His death was supposed to be a warning that the Kim Clan can destroy the gods they have created. For Namjoon, it should have been an easy task. Under the cover of the night, while the official was on the way home, bang. Easy.
Things started going wrong when the bullet didn’t go through the official’s chest. The official had been wearing a bulletproof vest, and the moment Namjoon fired his shots, guards came from all directions. From what Seokjin has heard, Namjoon had managed to shoot the official in the head, completing his mission, but went through hell to get rid of his pursuers. If he ever did. The only thing they learned before Namjoon’s call ended abruptly with a crash was that they had been waiting to ambush him at his escape route. Someone had told them about it. There was a mole among them. Seokjin will worry about that later, now he needs to see Namjoon.
Seokjin didn’t even register the pain as he stupid ass tripped on the way to Namjoon’s apartment. His hands were trembling as he pressed the lift. His heart was threatening to jump out of his chest. Fuck. Fuck. Seokjin didn’t know what he would do if Namjoon didn’t return alive. No, no, no! Don’t jinx it! Namjoon will return alive! He took a deep breath. Namjoon will return alive. But fuck, Namjoon wasn’t answering the door. No matter how Seokjin pressed the doorbell or banged on the door, it didn’t open. Seokjin tried to convince himself that even if Namjoon wasn’t here, it might just mean he’s somewhere else. Not dead. But if Namjoon didn’t make it home by now, where was he? With shaky hands, Seokjin pressed in the passcode.
Darkness and silence welcomed Seokjin. There was no one in the living room.
Thank goodness there wasn’t a dead body. Wait. What if Namjoon went to his room? That was where the first aid was. Seokjin took off his shoes and hurried into the apartment. The door closed on its own, the clash echoing in the eerily silent room. Seokjin approached the bedroom. The door was closed. Weird. Namjoon never closed the doors when he wasn’t home. What if someone ambushes me from inside? Namjoon's exact words. Seokjin gritted his teeth. That could only mean one thing. He slowly reached for his gun. Someone else was here.
The smart idea would be to retreat and call for reinforcements. But Namjoon could be in there, severely injured and being threatened to remain silent now. Seokjin couldn’t just leave. He unlocked the safety lever, the soft clicking sound giving Seokjin some sort of reassurance. The door was unlocked. Seokjin held his gun upright as he kicked it open. His heart was pounding, but he held his gun steady. No one. Seokjin held it high as he slowly entered the room. Step after step, Seokjin entered the darkness. Just as Seokjin freed a hand to search for the lightswitch, a chill shot down Seokjin’s spine. An ambush.
Seokjin turned around immediately. But all Seokjin felt was a gust of wind and the gun was knocked out of his hands. Then someone was chokeholding him, not giving him the chance to shout in pain. He tried to remember his defense lessons. He couldn’t remember anything. He only instinctively scratched the attacker’s arm. Fuck. At least he was the one ambushed, not Namjoon. He knew the attacker wouldn’t care, but on instinct, Seokjin said, “Let.. go...”
And suddenly Seokjin could breathe again.
Seokjin fell to the floor, coughing and gasping for air. Oh oxygen, he will never take them for granted again. Suddenly, the lights were turned on, blinding Seokjin for a second. He then heard a very familiar voice curse, “Fuck, hyung. Are you okay?! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was you! I thought it was the betrayer slipping into my house! And it was so dark–”
“Namjoon,” Namjoon was alive.
Seokjin touched the face of the man kneeling next to him gently. Solid. Warm. Alive. There were bandages all over the man, but he was alive. Seokjin let out a laugh of relief. Namjoon was alive. He wrapped his arms around Namjoon, burying his face into Namjoon’s neck. Had he not been worried about Namjoon's wounds, he would have thrown himself into Namjoon's arms. He couldn't help but take a deep breath, inhaling the light scent of lemongrass like his life depended on it. Namjoon was alive. Seokjin bit back a sob. Namjoon was alive.
“I’m fine, hyung,” A warm hand stroked Seokjin's back. “They only grazed me! You should have seen me, I was amazing! I took on four of them myself!”
“You scared the life out of me,” Seokjin failed to hide the ugly sob. The fear he had been holding back came crashing down. “Fuck, I thought I lost you.”
“Have some faith in me,” Namjoon joked. Seokjin knew he was just trying to lighten the mood, but Seokjin couldn’t play along. There was nothing light about this.
“They told me there were gunshots in the background. Then a loud crash ended the call,” Tears fell down his face, falling onto Namjoon’s shoulder. He took in another desperate breath of lemongrass. Stupid scent blocker. He could barely smell it.
“That was actually just me dropping my phone,” Namjoon laughed sheepishly, “I couldn't really pick it up, you know? Sorry for worrying you.”
Seokjin couldn't stop sobbing. It was the first time Seokjin was so close to losing Namjoon. Usually, bruises or a slight cut were the heaviest injury Namjoon had to suffer. He has never seen Namjoon use so many bandages before. One stray bullet and– Namjoon almost died. Namjoon kept rubbing his back comfortingly for the few minutes they stayed there, but it wasn’t enough. Seokjin wiped the tears away and pulled back. He needed to know Namjoon was fine.
“Scent me,”
“But–”
“Just for tonight,” Scenting was an intimate act for family members and mates. With them being non-blood-related alpha and omega, they should respect the boundaries. Tonight, Seokjin was too shaken to care. His voice was trembling, “Please.”
Namjoon cupped Seokjin’s face gently and pressed their foreheads together, “Okay,”
A hand reached the back of Seokjin's neck, peeling off the scent blocker gently. Memories of Namjoon marking him resurfaced. Seokjin shuddered in anticipation. Namjoon’s face was hot against his skin. The scent of lemongrass wrapped around Seokjin like a warm embrace. Seokjin closed his eyes and let the scent fill his veins. It told Seokjin that Namjoon was with him, a little shaken, but alive. Namjoon was alive.
“Scent me too?” Namjoon’s breath was hot against his ear.
“What do you need it for?” Seokjin mumbled, his hands already went to Namjoon’s scent blocker. “I’m the one scared to death,”
“... Hyung, I almost killed you.” Oh. Right. Seokjin forgot.
“You would never hurt me,” Seokjin rubbed his face against Namjoon’s neck, reassuring the alpha that he wasn’t angry at him. “Now, tell me, what exactly happened?”
The Kim Clan was in chaos for the next few days. Namjoon was ordered to lie low as the police were looking for him (on paper, anyway). Seokjin’s father dealt with the political party, while Seokjin was tasked with finding and getting rid of the mole. Seokjin took an entire week off from work to focus on just that. There were only so many people who knew about it. Seokjin oversaw the interrogation personally, and finally, they found a bug in one of their bags. That opened up too many possibilities. It could have been planted there by enemies, or the person was a spy who brought it in intentionally. Seokjin held the bug in his hands as he waited for them to bring the spy in. He sat with his legs crossed, blood cold with fury. This little bug almost killed Namjoon.
“Young Master! I swear it wasn’t me!” It was a low-ranking member that Seokjin had never seen. He started to plead for his life, Seokjin let him scream his lungs out and kowtow as much as he wanted. All of these were being recorded, it would serve as a good warning for the rest. The other high-ranking members stood behind Seokjin, watching coldly as well. No one begged mercy for them. Finally, the member realized that he was only being a clown. “Young Master…”
“I haven’t even said anything,” Seokjin smiled innocently, “You said it wasn’t you, then why would we do anything to you? Stand, hold your head high.”
“Thank you, Young Master!” The mole stood. Some of the higher-ranking members looked away. That must have warned him that he made the wrong decision, as his smile dropped.
“Why are you all so serious? You’re scaring him.” Seokjin chuckled, “You mentioned that someone else planted it on you? You’re being framed?”
“Yes! I left my bag unattended for a while; it must have been then…”
“Ah, so you mean to say, you brought in the bug unknowingly?” The mole nodded furiously, and Seokjin kept smiling. “Just so happened that they heard every single thing about our plan?”
“I swear, I didn’t do it on purpose…”
“Samchon, he’s under you, isn’t he?” Seokjin turned towards one of the higher-ranking members, “What do you think? Is he lying?”
“...” The man straightened his body, “I trust your decision, Young Master.”
“And I trust yours, samchon,” Seokjin narrowed his eyes dangerously, “So tell me, what was a member like him doing in that meeting?”
“I was planning to train him to take over my place in the future,” The high ranking member was stiff, “I failed to notice the bug, I apologize.”
Seokjin didn’t answer; he looked at the higher-ranking members one by one in the eye, “I trust that all of you would never betray the gang. So manage your subordinates well and don’t let their mistakes drag you down as well.”
Just then, someone knocked on the door. Another member entered and reported that there was a large sum of cash found in the mole’s house. The mole paled even more and started begging for a life. Saying it was a mistake, that he had been blinded by greed, he would never do it again. Bla, bla, bla. Nonsense. Seokjin’s smile dropped as his suspicion was confirmed. They bribed one of the lower-ranking members to eavesdrop for them. The member probably thought it was too risky to text them, so he chose to put a bug in his bag instead. Or maybe they didn’t trust him enough and wanted to listen with their own ears. Who knows? Who cares?
“Well then, samchon, it seems like your heir wants money more than your place. Next time you choose an heir, pick someone who isn’t so greedy.” Seokjin said half jokingly. His father had warned him that before he proved he was worthy, there would be people who think they could take his place, but the audacity to turn a blind eye to suspicious movements.
Seokjin turned towards the mole, who was still begging. He smiled, “You admit it was you?”
“Yes, I’m so sorry.” The mole nodded, wiping tears away, “I won’t do it again. I swear.”
“I know you won’t,” Seokjin cooed as he started wearing gloves, “You won’t have the chance.”
Seokjin dropped the smile and took the gun hanging around his superior’s waist. No one dared to stop him. He fired all of the shots; the shouts of pain were drowned out by the sound of the gun. Seokjin’s ears were ringing by the time he was done. Seokjin threw the empty gun at his superior’s feet. Seokjin gave him a warning gaze. Next time, the gun will be aimed at him. His job here was done. He stood, “I apologize for my lousy aim. Clean things up, thanks.”
He didn’t pause when he passed by the wailing man on the floor. It was only a matter of time before he bled out. Seokjin missed his heart on purpose so his last few moments would be filled with pain. A very small price to pay for putting Namjoon in danger.
Everyone in the mafia knew that Kim Seokjin was not one to be messed with. Not only was he the heir, but also the only possible competitor, Kim Namjoon, was deadly protective of him. Anyone who has talked badly about Seokjin has faced Namjoon’s wrath before. But ever since that particular incident, everyone learned that no one messes with Kim Namjoon. Because while Seokjin can stop Namjoon, no one could stop Seokjin’s wrath. Through the incident, people learned that the seemingly nerdy young man can be just as cold-blooded as any of the other members, perhaps even more so, if the ‘missed’ shots were anything to go by.
—
After sending his mother home, Seokjin rushed over to Namjoon’s place. Hands trembling, legs shaking, heart racing. This was probably going to be the moment that changed his life forever. The problem was that Seokjin had no idea what to tell Namjoon. How was he supposed to bring it up? Just say he wants Namjoon as a mate when he opens the door? That was ridiculous. But what else could he say? Seokjin was not ready when he knocked on the door. He could have just entered the passcode, but he didn’t. He needed more time. Even if just a few seconds.
Very soon, the door opened. Namjoon spoke before Seokjin could.
“Mum sent me an audio file,” She had been recording their conversation?! Sigh, he should have seen that coming. Namjoon held his hand tightly, his voice filled with barely contained excitement. “Hyung, is it true? You…”
Here goes nothing, Seokjin took a deep breath. “Yes. I want you as a mate, Kim Namjoon.”
“What the fuck,” The smile that broke out on Namjoon’s face would forever be engraved into Seokjin’s mind. It was brighter than the sun itself, with his dimples tempting Seokjin to kiss them. Seokjin gasped as Namjoon pulled him into his apartment, stumbling at the sudden motion, but as always, Namjoon steadied him. “Say that again.”
Namjoon had him trapped between him and the door. Seokjin felt like he was going to combust on the spot. His ears were burning, and Namjoon’s gaze was even hotter. As the heir of the Kim Clan, Seokjin wasn’t going to be intimidated by this! Seokjin cupped Namjoon’s face and pressed their forehead together. “Kim Namjoon, I love you.”
Namjoon pushed him against the door and kissed him. Namjoon has really been waiting for it, hasn’t he? Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck, pulling him in closer. Seokjin’s heart was threatening to burst out of his ribcage; he could feel Namjoon’s joy, which made Seokjin more excited than during heat. Even as his knees turned weak, Seokjin refused to let go. Namjoon was happy. He was happy. It didn’t matter if Seokjin couldn’t stand anymore. Namjoon then lifted him up, holding him by his thighs with his back against the door. Fuck, Namjoon was so strong. Having to rely on Namjoon for balance was so hot.
Namjoon was moving on to his neck, sucking marks onto it. Were they moving too fast? Definitely. But Namjoon had held back for so many years; it was unreasonable to ask him to wait longer. It wasn’t the first time anyway. So Seokjin lifted his head, giving Namjoon better access. His hands went to Namjoon’s scent blocker, “Can I?”
“Please,” Namjoon growled.
Seokjin ripped the scent blocker off, and the scent of lemongrass filled the room instantly. It screamed about how aroused the alpha was, how happy Namjoon was, and how much they wanted to make Seokjin theirs. Seokjin didn’t need to be told to rip his own scentblocker off, letting honey mix with the lemongrass. He needed Namjoon to know that he felt the same, that he loved Namjoon all the same. Seokjin hissed as Namjoon tightened his grip on Seokjin’s thighs. Namjoon sucked his neck harder in response.
“Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin kissed Namjoon’s ear, catching his attention, “Let’s go to your room.”
Namjoon nodded but didn’t let go, opting to carry Seokjin to the bedroom just like that. Seokjin gladly wrapped his legs around Namjoon’s waist and let him. Seokjin rubbed the back of Namjoon’s neck as he kissed Namjoon, chuckling as Namjoon slapped his ass, warning him to behave. Seokjin couldn't care less. With one hand balancing himself, he used his other hand to roam Namjoon’s chest. He squeezed Namjoon’s nipples, drawing a growl out of the alpha. Oh he knew he was going to pay for his actions; he was anticipating it. Finally, they reached Namjoon’s bedroom. Namjoon wasn’t even trying to be gentle while throwing Seokjin onto the bed. Seokjin watched in amusement as Namjoon took off his shirt.
“You’re not injured at all?”
“Nah. They were never trying to hurt me.”
“They better not,”
“Hyung, are you ready?” Namjoon climbed onto him. No matter how fierce the alpha was, Seokjin could always see that gentle overgrown puppy behind him. If enemies knew Seokjin described Namjoon as gentle, they would probably scream, but Seokjin didn’t care.
“You’ll have to prep me,” Seokjin said, “Do you have condoms?”
“...” Why the fuck was Namjoon remaining silent?
Seokjin frowned, even if it was Namjoon, Seokjin couldn’t allow it, “You are not fucking me if you don’t have any. We’re not ready to have pups now.”
“So we will one day?” Namjoon brightened up. What the hell? Was Namjoon teasing him?!
“You brat,” Seokjin slapped him playfully. “Planning for a pup is a serious matter. Not a talk we should be having right now. Do you have them or not?”
“Of course,” Namjoon pulled open a drawer, “Every time you sleep in my bed, I imagine nailing you in it. I thought it wasn’t possible, but still I bought condoms just to satisfy my imagination.”
That was dangerous to learn. Seokjin couldn’t help but ask, “What else do you imagine?”
Namjoon started undoing his belt, “Tying you to my bed.”
This was turning Seokjin on. A lot. The fact that he had slept in Namjoon’s bed so many times, with Namjoon wanting to tie him down and fuck him, should have scared Seokjin, but he was so fucking excited. Hey, Namjoon never actually did it for so long. What did he have to fear?
“Do you imagine me begging you to stop?” Seokjin crawled over and reached into Namjoon’s pants. He teased the erect member slowly. He whispered into Namjoon’s ear, “Do you imagine me being completely at your mercy, mind filled with nothing but you?”
He liked how Namjoon’s dick was answering for him. Seokjin chuckled, “In heat, my mind naturally cannot think about anything but you. But today, I am sane. Can you still fuck me so good I can’t think about anything else?”
Seokjin adjusted their position until Namjoon was sitting at the edge of the bed. Seokjin took off his pants before kneeling between Namjoon’s legs. He freed Namjoon’s dick from the restriction of clothes. It was hard to believe Seokjin had taken such a terrifying size with ease before. He had no idea how he was going to take it today, but he had done it once (many times, really), he could do it again. Seokjin looked up from the ground, “Do you imagine me kneeling in between your knees like this? Do you imagine your cum splattered all over my face?”
“Hyung, please.” Namjoon whined.
“Shall we have your fantasies come true today?” Seokjin licked the tip gently, drawing a hiss out of Namjoon. “You know I never give anything without a price, right?”
Usually, he’d give Namjoon anything he wanted unconditionally. Not today. Today, Seokjin was going to be a tease. He licked Namjoon’s dick from bottom to top, lingering around the tip but refusing to take it into his mouth. His hands rubbed Namjoon’s balls gently, earning a moan from the alpha. Seokjin smirked up from the ground. He loved how Namjoon was reacting. So cute. Seokjin repeated his actions again and again. He blew it gently, enjoying the way Namjoon shuddered at the cold air. Seokjin wondered if Namjoon would go the second he actually started sucking. Namjoon was holding onto the sheets like it was his sanity as Seokjin teased him over and over again. It was too much fun. But Seokjin supposed it was time.
Namjoon’s hips buckled the second Seokjin put the tip into his mouth.
“Fuck, hyung. Are you alright?” Namjoon asked in panic as Seokjin coughed his lungs out. He signalled for Namjoon to hold still.
He chuckled, “So impatient, hmm?”
“You’re just being mean,” Namjoon whined, “You know I’m going to make you pay, right?”
“If I back down in fear of revenge, I might as well step down as heir,” Seokjin hummed. This time, he held Namjoon’s hips firmly as he took Namjoon in again. He took it slow, making sure not to trigger his gag reflex again. Unfortunately, Seokjin wasn’t experienced enough to give a deep throat. But he did what he could. He sucked on it hard, dedicated to getting Namjoon to cum. Namjoon’s moan was music to his ears. When Namjoon grabbed his hair to control the pace, Seokjin let him. The slight pain turned Seokjin on.
“Hyung, can I really?” Seokjin squeezed Namjoon’s balls in response. Namjoon’s grip tightened while Seokjin loosened his grip on Namjoon’s hips, allowing Namjoon to fuck his mouth as he pleased. Namjoon pulled out before Seokjin could gag, “Close your eyes.”
It was warm. Seokjin couldn’t see Namjoon’s expression, but if the heavy breaths were anything to go by, Seokjin would say Namjoon enjoyed it a lot. After a few seconds, Seokjin heard tissue being pulled, and Namjoon wiped it off his face. Namjoon looked amazing in the afterglow, “You were so hot. Do you want to wash your face first?”
“In fact, I do.” Seokjin has heard the horrors of dried cum, he wasn't interested in experiencing it himself. He kissed Namjoon gently, “While I’m gone, start plotting your revenge. Prepare your worst. Wreck me like you mean it. Chances like these don’t come often. Use it well.”
“I assure you will regret it,” Namjoon squeezed his ass. That was more like it.
As cold water splashed over his face, he started to calm down. What had he just signed up for? Could he really handle what Namjoon wanted to do to him? Especially when he was not in heat? Seokjin looked down on his own erection. One way to find out.
When Seokjin returned, Namjoon had cuffs in his hands. Oh. Oh no.
“You might want to think of a safe word,” Namjoon smirked.
“... Why the fuck do you have that?”
“I told you. I bought these to satisfy my imagination,” Namjoon showed off the cuffs like a kid showing off a toy. “They’re specially made cuffs. They’re soft on the inside, so they won’t hurt you, but you’ll still be restrained well. Are you interested?”
Of fucking course. He had the same fantasy too. It was a big shame that Seokjin’s place had nothing for them to play. The only question Seokjin had now was what else Namjoon had. To think that Seokjin has been sleeping in a room filled with sex toys was crazy. Namjoon definitely did it on purpose. He shook his head fondly and climbed onto the bed. He decided not to ask what else Namjoon had; it’d be more fun as a surprise. “Sure. Traffic lights?”
“Red means stopping immediately, okay.” Namjoon held out his hands towards the bedpost, eyes shining with excitement. “Make yourself comfortable, you’re going to be there for a while.”
“I am starting to regret life decisions,” Seokjin lied. He contemplated his choices, “Can we switch positions halfway through? I think it’ll be hot to take it on all four, but I don’t think my back will be happy if it goes on too long.”
“Sure.” Namjoon nodded. So Seokjin knelt on the bed, reaching forward for the best post. His ass was out in the cold, as if begging for attention. Namjoon gave it a squeeze before reaching over to cuff Seokjin. Like Namjoon said, the cuffs were soft but firm. Seokjin tried pulling. Yup, he wasn’t defending himself any time soon. He was at Namjoon's complete mercy. “Ready?”
Seokjin realized in horror (or pleasure) that he couldn’t see what Namjoon was doing unless he really tried to turn around and risk twisting his back. He gripped the bedpost tightly, “Yea.”
Seokjin didn’t take off his shirt because he thought Namjoon’s focus would be on his bottom, and he wanted to stay warm. He never expected Namjoon’s hands to slip up his shirt. He gasped as Namjoon reached for his nipples. Namjoon rubbed them between his fingers slowly before pulling them gently. They both knew Seokjin wasn’t really into nipple play, but the fact that Namjoon was doing this because Seokjin couldn’t fight back turned him on. It tickled as one of Namjoon’s hands slowly moved downward, but Seokjin couldn’t laugh. Namjoon was hovering around his crotch but not touching it. Then, Namjoon blew a gust of air in between his ass, making Seokjin shudder in anticipation. Namjoon planted kisses around the crack, refusing to touch the hole that begged for attention. Namjoon flickered his dick gently before continuing to rub Seokjin's nipple between his fingers.
“Are you just going to copy my tactics?” Seokjin teased, “Get creative, Namjoon-ah.”
“We’ll get there,” Namjoon chuckled, “Hyung, can I–”
“I give you special permission to do whatever you want without getting my permission. Surprise me.” Seokjin said before Namjoon completed his sentence. He trusted Namjoon to know the limits. At the end of the day, there were still safe words, so Seokjin wanted the element of surprise. “I”ll let you know if you're hurting me in an unpleasant way.”
“Be careful what you wish for,” Namjoon slapped his ass. Hard. “I want them pink.”
Namjoon grabbed his cheeks, spreading them apart before spanking them at the same time. Seokjin yelped. Fuck, that felt good. He could feel his own ass wiggling at the contact. Namjoon must have seen it too. Namjoon rubbed his cheeks, “They're so cute,”
This was humiliating. But it was so good.
Namjoon spanked him a few times before finally touching his dick. Namjoon was evil. He tickled his balls and pressed the tip, but refused to give in any real friction. Namjoon blew his ass gently, soothing the sting, before spanking him firmly again. Namjoon then started to drum his ass, making Seokjin moan uncontrollably. Each slap wasn't hard, but, at that rate, it definitely stung. Seokjin’s ass tingled, probably pink right now, just like Namjoon wanted. Sensitive. Seokjin could feel slick leaking out of him. His ears burned at the idea of it being on full display for Namjoon, but fuck, it turned him on. He unconsciously arched his back more, thrusting his ass into Namjoon's face, begging for attention.
“So impatient?” Namjoon mocked him.
Seokjin refused to answer. Namjoon didn't need one. Seokjin gasped as something pressed against his entrance. Namjoon circled around slowly, gathering enough slick to act as a lube before pushing in. It made Seokjin want to close his legs to give himself any sort of pleasure. Namjoon seemed to have read his mind, as he chuckled, “You want some friction down there?”
Just like that, Seokjin's pride refused to move anymore.
Namjoon still touched him, though, giving him a few slow pumps. Seokjin sighed in delight. Fuck. Seokjin tightened his grip on the bedpost as Namjoon found his prostate. Namjoon then pressed down on it harder. Back during heat, it had been relentless fucking. A foreplay like this drove Seokjin crazy. And Seokjin knew Namjoon’s revenge was far from over. “Feeling good?”
“Fuck you,” Seokjin groaned in frustration.
“I love how you get vulgar in bed,” Namjoon chuckled as he pulled his finger out. “For real though, patience, hyung. I don't want you to get hurt.”
“I know, just hurry up.”
“I told you I would get back at you,” Namjoon laughed as he inserted two fingers, “I’m far from done. There's something I want to try,”
Seokjin wasn't sure what to think about that. He just tried to hold himself steady as Namjoon opened him up. Namjoon went on serious mode this time, no longer teasing his throbbing dick and focused on prepping him. While it was pleasurable, it wasn't enough. The brat was avoiding his sweet spot on purpose. Two fingers became three; in theory, the next should be it. So why the fuck was Namjoon reaching another drawer??? Namjoon took the chance to give him a long kiss, effectively distracting Seokjin from trying to see what he took. When Namjoon returned to his back, Seokjin didn't even catch a glimpse of what Namjoon took. In theory, he could try to see. But he didn't. Surprises were very much welcomed.
Seokjin recognized the familiar feeling of silicone.
“Condoms, I understand. Cuffs, absolutely. Why do you have a dildo? Don't tell me you were interested in using a dildo rather than your dick. Or are you interested in anal?”
“To be honest, no, but if you want to try fucking me, I’m willing to try.” Screw that, no one was taking away Seokjin's fun. Then again, it might be interesting to let Namjoon feel what he feels… “I bought it for you. Had to plan for the day you accidentally go into heat at my place.”
“Why would I accidentally go into heat at your place?”
“I don't know. Imagination.” Namjoon laughed, “That day when I walked in, I felt like a fantasy coming to life. I had to take my chances.”
“Then why do you have it?”
“Didn't expect you to actually say yes, so if the day comes, you’ll need something.”
“My question is, why are you using it now?” Seokjin taunted, “Could it be that you're tired already?”
“You seem to forget you're in my mercy and not the other way around,” Namjoon gave his ass a solid slap. Fuck, that felt good. The dildo went in easily. Seokjin thought Namjoon was going to tease him by moving in and out slowly. But no, Namjoon adjusted it such that it was pressing against Seokjin's weak spot. Namjoon chuckled, “I never said this was just a dildo.”
Seokjin heard a terrifying beep. He cursed colourfully as the dildo started vibrating. The cuffs made a loud cling as it pulled against the bedpost. Fuck. Seokjin swore Namjoon knew about his fantasies, or he wouldn't have done this. Fuck yes. Seokjin wanted to try this. Namjoon now sat next to Seokjin, leaning against the bed, as if enjoying a piece of art. He hummed, “Your ass is wiggling in the air, just begging for attention.”
“Well, give it!”
“I’d rather watch you struggle in pleasure.” Namjoon kissed him, “You're so hot like this.”
Seokjin couldn't really have any sane thoughts. The vibrator sent shock waves of pleasure down his body. For a few moments, Namjoon did absolutely nothing but watch him struggling to hold still. It made Seokjin feel like he was putting on a performance for Namjoon. He probably was. Seokjin pulled at the cuffs, the sound of metal loud in the room. To stop the pleasure or touch himself, he didn't know. He was only reminded that he couldn't do shyt. He was at Namjoon's complete mercy. He couldn't hold up straight anymore. His face was against the pillow as his ass arched into the air. This was so embarrassing. He loved it.
He loved how Namjoon was doing absolutely nothing, except stroking his back, cooing at how pretty he was. It made him feel powerless in a very sexy way. Seokjin whined as the vibrator moved away from his soft spot, and Namjoon returned to his back. Namjoon first kneaded his ass, then moved the vibrator in and out slowly, adjusting its angle to ensure every corner of his hole was vibrated. Namjoon even gave him a few generous pumps. It was too good to be true.
“Fuck. Namjoon, Namjoon.”
“Gonna cum just like this, hyung?” Namjoon massaged his balls, pushing Seokjin to the very edge. “Gonna cum right after putting on a performance for me?”
Seokjin made the mistake of admitting it.
“Nope.” Namjoon mercilessly turned the vibrator off, pulling it out of his ass, leaving his throbbing dick completely alone. The fuck. Why did Seokjin ever taunt the future leader of the mafia? “Can you imagine if I just left you like this?”
“Do that, and you will never fuck me again.” Seokjin spatted.
“So scary,” Namjoon chuckled, not threatened at all. The spoiled brat knew Seokjin would always give in. He really should stop spoiling his brother.
“Namjoon, fuck me. Right now.”
“Why~”
“Hmm?”
“Yes, hyung.”
Seokjin let out a sigh of relief as Namjoon finally, finally entered him. Namjoon took a few tentative thrusts before started banging him with dedication. Each thrust echoed through the room, and felt extra good because of his pink ass being sensitive. Seokjin moaned in pleasure. The wait was worth it. The cuffs dug against Seokjin’s skin as he pulled against his restraints, trying to stop the overflowing pleasure. He absolutely loved that he couldn’t do anything but accept what Namjoon gave him. It was even better than Seokjin imagined. But, “Namjoon–”
“Do you like this, hyung?”
“Namjoon,” Seokjin gasped, “Let go. I want to see you.”
“Okay,” The cuffs were off in a few seconds. Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon and kissed him with passion. Namjoon adjusted their position such that Seokjin was straddling Namjoon, his ass right above Namjoon's dick. “Wanna try riding me?”
“Next time,” Seokjin said, “My legs are numb now.”
“That's a promise,” Namjoon smirked. What did Seokjin just say? Namjoon flipped their positions, and Seokjin’s back was on the bed, legs spread wide open for Namjoon. “Hold yourself,”
Seokjin obliged, spreading them even more. Namjoon started ramming into Seokjin. Well fuck. Seokjin swore he could see stars. Love and passion were flooding out of Namjoon's eyes. He looked at Seokjin as if he was the love of his life. Oh wait. He was. Seokjin drove Namjoon crazy. And Seokjin loved to see that. Their eyes met, and Seokjin knew Namjoon saw the same emotions. They smiled knowingly at each other as Namjoon brought Seokjin to the edge of heaven. Namjoon grabbed Seokjin's dick, and Seokjin gasped. Having both his front and back stimulated at once at the same pace was too much. Seokjin was lowkey worried that Namjoon would stop again, but Namjoon kept going.
Seokjin trembled as he finally went. Namjoon kept fucking him, not giving him a second to breathe. Seokjin didn’t realize when Namjoon stopped. All he knew was that his body was still shaking with pleasure when he finally pulled out. He was too tired to move. He watched as Namjoon disposed of the condom and wiped them both dry with his shirt. It reminded him of his heat, where he didn't have to do anything after sex.
“You'd better wash that shirt,” Seokjin said half jokingly.
“You're worried about the shirt?” Namjoon gave him a peck, “Have you seen the sheets?”
Seokjin groaned. Fuck.
“We can change them later,” Namjoon suggested
Seokjin narrowed his eyes.
“Just kidding,” Namjoon pulled him up. “Go shower, I'll be done when you're back.”
After Seokjin was done showering, he made his way towards the kitchen. They could just order delivery, but no restaurant was special enough for their first day together. Since Seokjin had just organised Namjoon’s kitchen (well, Seokjin had always claimed it as his since Namjoon couldn’t cook), not too long ago, Seokjin decided to make dinner. As simple as it was, it was homemade. Very fitting for their first day together. Soon, Namjoon appeared in the kitchen half-naked, fresh out of the shower. Namjoon carefully wrapped his arms around Seokjin’s waist, placing his chin on Seokjin’s shoulder. Namjoon used to do this when they were younger, though mainly to use Seokjin as a human shield from the fire. After presenting, Seokjin stopped him.
“What are you making?” Namjoon asked nonchalantly. He had no doubts Namjoon was testing the waters. How had Namjoon felt all these while Seokjin drew the boundaries? Well, all he could do now was to ensure the wait was worth it.
“Food.” Seokjin twisted his head gently to give Namjoon a peck, assuring him it was fine.
“Hyung,” Namjoon sighed, “Am I dreaming?”
“You’ll find out when I burn your apartment down.” It was sweet, but Seokjin couldn’t focus with Namjoon’s breath next to his ear. He pried Namjoon’s hands away, smiling as Namjoon whined. Namjoon opted to stand back and watch from a distance.
“I sometimes imagine you in my kitchen,” Namjoon said, “In nothing but that apron.”
“Now that is going to remain an imagination,” Seokjin teased.
“Who knows? Even dating you is possible,” Namjoon sighed, “It still feels so surreal. The hottest, smartest, amazing Kim Seokjin? Dating me? What have I ever done to deserve it?”
“You’re just as amazing, Namjoon,” Seokjin reached out to hold Namjoon’s hands. “I guess since you were always there, I never really realized how I was in love with you.”
“I understand, I’ve been through that too,” Namjoon brought his hand to his lips, “I wouldn’t have noticed my love for you was more than just a brother if you hadn’t received your first love letter.”
“When was that?” Seokjin honestly didn’t remember anything other than that it was in high school.
“Doesn’t matter,” Namjoon chuckled, “You always shut them down immediately. Heck, you’ve never shown any interest in romance, so I thought I would be satisfied just being by your side as a brother. Can’t believe I thought I would be fine when the day you find a mate comes.”
“And were you fine when I started dating?”
“Absolutely not,” Namjoon glared, “The most horrible months of my life.”
“You got your revenge, baby.” Seokjin chuckled. “Was it fun threatening him?”
“He deserved that,” Namjoon tutted, “I’ve never seen you in love like that before. And it was just a trick? Had I not wanted to respect your wishes, I would have killed him already.”
“What was I like in love?” Seokjin asked genuinely.
“You made time for him! You pick up all of his calls, no matter when! You would look at him with this loving gaze–” Seokjin raised an eyebrow as Namjoon paused, “That sounds like what you do for me… I don’t care. The point is he is an asshole and deserves to die.”
“I’m pretty sure we won’t be seeing him again.” Seokjin smirked.
“Or you’ll pull the trigger at his head?” Namjoon teased. Wait, Namjoon heard that? No, the cameras in the parking lot didn’t record sound. Namjoon must have guessed his words. Good to know Namjoon heard none of those, “It was so fun watching you scare the shyt out of him.”
“I warned him not to exhaust my love,” Seokjin squeezed Namjoon’s cheek, “Not everyone has my unlimited patience, you know?”
Namjoon smiled, then had a devilish twinkle in his eyes, like a kid who was about to prank someone, “So, really no chance of seeing you in nothing but an apron?”
Seokjin snorted. He ignored Namjoon completely and focused on the food. Namjoon kept whining, and Seokjin had to do his best to not let his lips curl into a smile. When Namjoon swore he wouldn’t do anything but watch, Seokjin couldn’t help but laugh, “Should I trust the words of someone who made me sleep in the middle of sex toys?”
“I knew you wouldn’t go through my drawers. Boundaries and what’s not,” Namjoon laughed, “It was kind of a turn on, to be honest. And I didn’t touch you! So yes, my words can be trusted!”
“Really? Too bad. I want you to touch me.” Seokjin kicked Namjoon out of the kitchen, “Go set the table. Food is almost ready.”
“Is that supposed to mean you agree?” Namjoon asked.
“No. I’m not stripping now, I’m starving,” Seokjin wasn’t sure if Namjoon could tell that he was just playing with words. If he did, then he could be excited for tomorrow. If he did not, then he was in for a surprise. It did make Seokjin curious, though, “What else do you wanna do?”
“A lot. For example,” Namjoon turned towards him and said with the most innocent face, “I want to give you a blowjob in your office, under your table. Wanna see you struggle to keep a straight face when someone walks in.
Seokjin had to laugh, “You know father enters my office randomly, right?”
“Shame,” Namjoon sighed, “That’s someone I don’t want catching us.”
Seokjin chuckled at Namjoon’s disappointed face, “Our parents are going on a trip soon, no?”
Namjoon perked up, “I’ll pay you a surprise visit.”
“I’ll be expecting you,” Seokjin made a mental note not to arrange any important meetings on those days. If his secretary walked in on them, well, poor lady. He’ll just have to give her some hush money. “Now eat before the food turns cold.”
—
Two years later
She was Seokjin’s secretary. All in all, it was nice to work under Seokjin. One did not get the chance to work with a superior who didn’t scold them for mistakes often. Today, she was doing her job of handing some documents for Seokjin to sign. She knocked on the door and waited for Seokjin to ping her in. Seokjin was sitting behind the desk as always.
“Where’s Namjoon-ssi?” She could have sworn she didn’t see him leave.
“He had some things to deal with,” Seokjin dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand, the ring on his fourth finger shining under the light. “Can I help you?”
“There are a few documents that need to be signed,” She showed him the stack of files in her hands. She lowered her head to read, “There’s one from HR, from finance, from–”
“Fuck,”
“?” She lifted her head in confusion. What did she say? But Seokjin was still smiling as always.
“Nothing. Just leave them on the table over there. I’ll sign it later.”
Something was weird about Seokjin today; she just couldn’t pinpoint what. Must be pregnancy hormones. She has heard about the weird things hormones do. Guess not even Kim Seokjin was free from that. She did as she was told and left the room. There was lots of work to be done before Seokjin was due. It was going to be chaos when Seokjin went on maternity leave.
The door closed behind her.
“What the fuck was that for?!” Seokjin hissed, “Do you want to get caught?!”
“That’s sort of the point?” Namjoon was between his knees, having fun with his dick.
“You brat,” Seokjin grabbed Namjoon’s hair, “Get back to work.”
“Yes, hyung~”
To no one’s surprise, Seokjin and Namjoon got married. Namjoon marked him for good, and they were expecting pups in a few months. It was a decision they made together after Seokjin’s position as heir was stabilized, meaning he had completely learned the respect of the mafia. With that, they can protect their children better. Children. What the heck, Seokjin still couldn’t believe they were having twins. At the end of the day, Seokjin was a male omega. It’s always harder for male omegas to get pregnant. Namjoon had always joked that it was better that way, because he could breed Seokjin again and again, but deep down, Seokjin was frustrated.
And then his pregnancy test returned positive.
Seokjin still remembers that night. They were lying in bed, ready to sleep, when Seokjin suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom. He even remembers Namjoon being a brat by not letting him go, pressing down on his bladder on purpose. Seokjin had laughed and tickled Namjoon's side to get him to release him. Namjoon got his revenge by pinning him down and tickling him more. It had been fun. Anyways, Seokjin went to the bathroom. There was one last pregnancy kit in the toilet. Seokjin was like, why not? He remembers screaming for Namjoon to come over when the results showed positive. Namjoon had cursed out loud and lifted Seokjin off his feet in joy. He proceeded to start crying because they were having pups of their own. Seokjin cried too. He will never forget the joy that night. Because that was the only happy night.
Fuck pregnancy. Seokjin wanted to die. His appetite changed completely, his emotions were swinging in every direction, and his body was constantly sore. Hell, he swore he wasn’t the clingy type, but he outright refused to let Namjoon go on any sort of business trips. He still remembers the night he threw a fit because Namjoon returned home later than Seokjin. He hated himself so much for not being upset by such a small thing. He knew Namjoon would rush home the moment he could, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like an abandoned omega.
Fortunately, Namjoon never blamed him. Even apologizing for making him feel that way. Ever since, Namjoon had made it a point to scent Seokjin thoroughly before going to work every morning. He would also pick Seokjin up from work every day. When he really couldn’t make it, he would make it up with lots and lots of kisses that night. Namjoon never complained when Seokjin woke him in the middle of the night for random cravings. Pregnancy was hell, but Namjoon made it better. When Namjoon pressed his head on his growing tummy, listening to their children’s heartbeat, smiling like an idiot, it made everything worth it.
Fuck. They were going to be fathers. They were going to have children. They were going to bring two lives into this world. Twins. How was that possible?
Seokjin chose to have surgery. Despite facing danger in the face multiple times, he simply did not have the courage to go through natural birth. The mere thought of his body forcefully changing structure to deliver a baby terrified him. His mother had warned him that while natural birth was absolutely traumatizing, the effects of surgery lasted longer. But Seokjin would rather be bedridden for weeks and be scarred forever than go through the horrors of ten fingers. Turns out, surgery wasn’t any easier. The moment the anesthesia effect ended, a brand new hell began. He couldn’t sit. He couldn’t stand. He couldn’t lie down. Everything hurts. And people were freaking congratulating him for the pain. Congratulations on surviving, maybe.
The worst part is that he doubted that things would have been better if he had chosen natural birth. One thing was for sure: he’s never getting pregnant again.
Yet, when the babies slept peacefully next to Seokjin’s pillow, Seokjin couldn’t feel anything but love. He heard their first cries and definitely cried with them. His babies. Their babies. Two brand new lives in this world. They were so small, neither Namjoon nor Seokjin dared to hold them for fear of breaking their necks. Namjoon was the first to get over the fear. Because if Namjoon didn’t, that meant bedridden Seokjin would have to. The sight of Namjoon carefully putting their babies to sleep made Seokjin want to cry again. They were a family. They had their own little family now. Everything was worth it.
“Namjoon-ah, come here,” Seokjin called out to him weakly, “How about we have another?”
“Never,” Namjoon said instantly, “I’m not putting you through such pain again.”
Seokjin smiled. That was his alpha, “Gladly.”
“Do you want to hold them?” Namjoon asked gently. Seokjin nodded, and Namjoon placed the babies down to adjust Seokjin’s bed. Gently, Namjoon placed them in Seokjin’s arms. The newborns weren’t heavy, but they weighed like the world. They were asleep peacefully, as if they didn’t scream their lungs out just a few hours ago. Seokjin couldn’t believe that these two came out of his body. Namjoon kissed his temple, “Thank you again, hyung, for giving me these angels. You’ve worked so hard. I’m sorry I can't do more for you.”
“What if I can’t give them the protection they need?” Seokjin asked quietly. There were guards standing right outside the room, handpicked by them personally. But what if they weren’t enough? What if someone tries to hurt them? Or Seokjin? He has enemies.
“I’m right here,” Namjoon rubbed his back comfortingly, “Nothing can harm you three.”
“Okay,” Seokjin kissed Namjoon, “Okay.”
“I love you, hyung, so much.” Namjoon’s eyes glistened. Seokjin could feel the happiness flowing out of them. He felt the same. There wasn’t another person in this world Seokjin trusted enough to have babies with. Fuck pregnancy.
Seokjin pressed their foreheads together, “I love you too.”
Seokjin didn’t know about what a happy ending was for others, but he knew he had found his. It came in the form of a person, his mate, the father of his children, the most amazing alpha alive, the one and only, Kim Namjoon. Namjoon was his happy ending. And he knew he was his.