Work Text:
11:41 AM: Hey, Gibbs. It’s DiNozzo.
Jethro smirked as he heard his text notification go off. He knew Abby had told DiNozzo that he doesn’t text, and he doesn’t…much. He will occasionally answer a question via text, if it’s important enough, but he takes no real pleasure out of it and doesn’t understand why so many people are so smitten with it.
He knew he had been pretty rough on DiNozzo today, but it had been an especially brutal crime scene, and seeing the new widow’s face when she had heard DiNozzo’s seemingly callous words – well, she had no way of knowing that the young man meant no harm. His years working for various police forces had given him a macabre sense of humor to help him deal with the more brutal things humanity could hand out.
He had probably been a little harsh with the head slap, but he couldn’t let it go unanswered. Nobody would call Leroy Jethro Gibbs a soft man.
4:57 PM: Gibbs? You ever gonna respond to me? Abby said you wouldn’t, but I thought for sure you would answer your SFA.
9:12 PM: I can't believe I'm willing to pay .10 a message just to yell at you but I guess if it helps me keep my job it will be worth it.at least I don't have to pay per letter!
By the time he got home, changed his clothes, nuked some dinner, and settled in with a beer, he had three unread messages from DiNozzo. The final one made him smirk. DiNozzo would probably shit his pants if he ever knew just how adept Jethro actually was at texting. Just because he made the conscious decision to never check texts at work, and to answer them only very rarely, didn’t mean he wasn’t capable.
This could entertain him for years if he played his cards right.
7:13 PM: Damnit Giibbs I can’t fucking believe you pulled that shit today! I should kick your ass for that. What the hell do you think we would do if you went and got your dumb ass killed?
Jethro laid in the hospital bed after chasing his team out, sending them home to sleep. As soon as he could stand without the room spinning, he would check himself out.
He knew the entire team was upset with him for going off alone, but none were as furious as DiNozzo. Ducky had known him long enough to know that this was just the way he did things, and Abby might lay a guilt trip on him, but as long as the damage wasn’t permanent, she wouldn’t kick up too much of a fuss.
He read the text again, a little warmed to know that DiNozzo had been so worried about him. He wouldn’t change his ways, but maybe he would take the younger agent along with him a bit more often. It never hurt to have someone watching your six.
1:12 AM: Secret Service, Gibbs? Really? “Caitlin, call me Kate” on your team? She showed up in fucking heels, Gibbs! HEELS!! She wore HEELS to a fucking crime scene!! And you think she’s going to be able to stand up to your special brand of training? I bet you have her crying within the first week.
Jethro ran a hand down his face, frustrated by the incoming text. He knew DiNozzo wasn’t happy with him offering Kate a job, but he felt responsible for her, damn it. It was his fault she had lost her last job. He could already hear DiNozzo arguing with him over that, telling them that if she hadn’t been sleeping with a superior, she wouldn’t have been fired, but he still felt obligated to take care of her. He had even put a pair of boots in his trunk before heading to the crime scene because he had a feeling she wouldn’t be dressed appropriately.
9:59 AM: Fine. Apparently she’s here to stay. God knows there is no changing the mind of the all-knowing Gibbs. But if I end up with brain damage from all the head slaps because she can’t see beyond the mask, I may sue. I bet all those hand tools in your basement are worth a whole $50.
It was true, Jethro wasn’t sure yet why Kate seemed to have some sort of mental block regarding Tony and his skills, but he was sure she would see past the masks quickly. She was a profiler, and they were hard to fool, especially long term. His gut said she would make a good addition to their team, so he would let Tony’s snarkiness and bitching slide, and let this play out.
If it didn’t work out the way he thought it would, well– she wouldn’t be the first probie he had run off with his cold stares and biting tongue.
12:03 PM: Hey, boss. Quick question. Have you considered just, ya know, NOT being a bastard? I know you’re awfully proud of that second B, but would it really kill you to show a little compassion to your employees once in a while? I’m not asking you to hug me, or anything wild like that, but maybe one or two less head slaps when I just found out a co-worker was murdered? That could be…really helpful.
Jethro cringed when he finally found the time to check his phone, knowing that the way he handled death wasn’t the way everyone did. The drive that forced him to go until he couldn’t any longer worked well for him, but others grieved differently, and he tended to forget that.
The best apology he could bring himself to make was to assign DiNozzo and McGee to the stake out together. It would get the younger man a reprieve from Kate’s heckling, and maybe help McGee get over some of his tiresome stuttering. Why DiNozzo had vouched for the “so green he could be a leprechaun” agent was beyond Jethro’s understanding, but at least DiNozzo got a kick out of training him.
Tomorrow would be entertaining, to say the least, listening to McGee bitch and DiNozzo gloat over whatever pranks he managed to pull overnight. Hopefully it would pull DiNozzo out of his own head and he would be able to put those brilliant investigative skills to work.
8:32 AM: HOLY shit, Gibbs! I wish you had been there. I think even you would have cracked an actual smile at probie’s face when I got him. He thinks he’s so smart, with his MIT degree, but I bet he didn’t see that coming, did he?
The text the next morning made him smile, and he hid it behind his coffee cup before Todd could see.
Jethro looked up as the elevator dinged at the bullpen, waiting impatiently for the doors to open. He barely moved out of the way quickly enough to avoid being run down by his second in command. DiNozzo grunted at him in a way that was far more like himself than the gregarious man, then refused to make eye contact before the elevator closed.
Striding into the bullpen with his usual no-nonsense demeanor, he barked out, “Todd! Report!”
His agent’s head popped up from behind her computer, and she gave him a puzzled frown. “Gibbs? We don’t have a case right now. I haven’t found anything new on the cold cases on my desk, and I don’t think Tony has even opened one of his files.”
Jethro gave her a thousand yard stare. “I said ‘report,’ Agent Todd, not ‘tattle.’ Why did DiNozzo go rushing out of here like that?”
She lowered her eyes to her screen dismissively. “Oh, that. We were just joking around, like we always do, and suddenly he jumped off and took off. I guess he can dish it out, but he can’t take it.”
Jethro frowned. That didn’t sound anything like the Anthony DiNozzo he had gotten to know over the years. Tony loved it when someone could give as good as they got. He thrived when Balboa or one of the other agents went toe to toe in a verbal spar with him, and when Gibbs shot a friendly retort his way, the man’s smile could practically light the room.
He moved to his desk, locking his weapon and badge in the drawer before turning to delete emails. He kept a sharp eye on Kate as he pretended to ignore her, figuring she would break eventually.
When his phone buzzed in his pocket several times in relatively quick succession, his gut told him this wasn’t something he could leave until he was in his basement tonight. He needed to read these messages immediately.
Standing abruptly, he growled under his breath and practically bared his teeth when Kate opened her mouth to question him. Once she looked sufficiently cowed, he buttoned his jacket and headed for the secured elevator. He knew it would be a safe place to read his messages, and even if Abby saw him, she likely wouldn’t think much of it.
1:11 PM: I’m sorry, Gibbs. I know you don’t want to hear apologies or excuses, but I still needed to say it. I’m sorry for being rude, and for being disrespectful.
1:13 PM: You don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it. I had to leave before I said something I regret to Kate. If she ever finds out I am bisexual, she’ll flip her lid. She won’t shut the hell up about me kissing a man, like I’m supposed to be ashamed of it or something.
1:20 PM: Why can’t she see I’m not upset about Reed being trans? I’m upset that I kissed the person who killed someone I cared about. Of course, she thought Haswari had “kind eyes,” so I guess I shouldn’t expect her to get it.
Jethro felt his blood start to boil as he read the pain that DiNozzo thought he was hiding in his messages. He ignored his own shock at the admission of bisexuality and focused on the anger he felt towards the lack of respect that Kate was showing during a painful time. With a curse, he hit the button to take him back to the bullpen and marched straight to her desk.
Moving closer, he loomed over her until she finally looked up. Leaning closer and lowering his voice to a timbre that had made sterner men than her piss their pants, he practically whispered, “We may be a civilian agency, Probationary Agent Todd, but ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ is still very much in play in our day to day lives. I would hate to see you make a ‘teasing’ remark and get your partner hurt. I think you would find that…detrimental to your career with NCIS. Do I make myself clear?”
He watched in satisfaction as she gulped, then slowly nodded her head. Jethro kept his eyes locked with hers for another minute, making sure she knew how seriously he meant his warning.
4:35 PM: If I didn’t know better, boss, I would think you had said something to Kate. She keeps looking at us funny now. Wonder how long that will last?
Jethro smirked when he read the last message from DiNozzo, then downed the shot of bourbon he had poured for himself. He didn’t know how long it would last, either, but he planned to savor the silence while it did.
Jethro hadn’t been able to hear what Kate whispered in DiNozzo’s ear, but the way his senior agent’s face fell and his shoulders tensed told him everything he needed to know. The truce was over and she was back to being nasty.
He spoke to her sharply, drawing her attention back to the case, and kept her as far away from DiNozzo as he could without being obvious about it. He very well knew Tony’s feelings about Kate’s profiling skills, but he wasn’t going to take a chance on her figuring out his soft spot for his Senior Field Agent. The last thing he needed right now was to offer her more ammunition against DiNozzo.
They made it through the rest of the afternoon without further bloodshed amongst the team, though DiNozzo was decidedly quieter than usual. He didn’t engage in any banter between Todd or McGee, and barely looked up when Abby came clomping into the bullpen. The case had turned out to be a suicide. Devastating, but easy to solve and it didn’t require Jethro to keep his team late.
When Jethro dismissed them a little after 6:00, DiNozzo was the first on the elevator and refused to make eye contact with anyone. Determined to check in on him after he had finished his hated paperwork, Jethro watched dispassionately as the other two members of his team made their way towards the elevator, chatting quietly. He shook his head at how oblivious they were, then turned back to his computer.
The text tone from his phone dragged Jethro out of his reports, cursing himself for not just waiting for DiNozzo to do them. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes, then glanced at his watch. If he hurried, he could stop at his favorite Chinese restaurant and grab some take out on his way home. The messages could wait until tomorrow.
Jethro rolled off his couch and stumbled blindly to his kitchen, cursing his own refusal to give in and buy a coffee maker with an auto-on switch. He scratched his belly as he stood waiting, blearily staring out the window.
The text notification light blinking on his cell phone caught his eye, but he didn’t want to deal with it until he had a cup – or a pot – of coffee in his system.
An hour later, after several cups of coffee and a hot shower to ease his aching muscles, Jethro finally picked up his phone. Seeing that he had six missed messages from Tony and knowing that the younger man had not been in a great head space the day before, he started to get worried.
Opening the first message, he squinted, wondering what language Tony had been texting in. After squinting and grumbling for a few minutes, he finally gave in and groped on the side table for his reading glasses. Sliding them onto his nose, he gave his eyes just a moment to adjust before he focused on the small screen again.
8:21 PM: Het Gibbs. Gibbs. Did you know I like men? I brt you didn’t know that. I like to take it up the ass, Gibbd. Don’t mind gi ihg it up the ass, too.
He blinked as the words were no less foreign than they had been the first time. It took him longer than he cared to admit to parse out the fact that DiNozzo was trying to come out to him, forgetting in his apparent drunkenness that a previous text had already done that.
With a small smirk, he moved on to the next text. This one was easier to understand, even if DiNozzo had put most of it in capital letters. He snorted under his breath at the thought of DiNozzo’s face if he ever realized that Jethro wasn’t exclusively a top. Not that he could see how that would ever come up in a conversation, but it was fun to imagine.
8:23 PM: Wouldn’t expect that from you, thpugh, boss. You’re totLLY ALPHA. IF YOU HAD RVEN THE SLIGHTESY INTETEST IN MEN, YOJ’RE THR VETY DEFINITION OF A TOP.
He moved to the next text, then nearly dropped his phone. He was suddenly grateful that he had chosen to get plenty of coffee and a shower before he tackled this. This one didn’t take him nearly as long to decipher the words, but it was definitely going to take him a while to decipher his feelings.
8:26 PM: DAMN, I wish you would top le. I can just imagine how good you wof grel, sliding in. Sloqly at first then jusg fucking me kmto the bed. Ohhhhhhhh…..
He took another drink of coffee, swallowing hard when it got caught in his throat, then opened the next text, unsure of what he would find. His distraction cost him a bit of extra time deciphering what DiNozzo had been trying to say, but it didn’t take him too long before he groaned. What did DiNozzo mean they could finish this? How were they supposed to finish a series of drunk texts that DiNozzo probably didn’t even remember? The fact that he still had at least a couple of unread texts meant the man probably hadn’t passed out as soon as he got in the cab.
8:28 PM: Hod that rjought, bozz. Gotta get a cab. Think Losa eould probablt bzn me if I bkow my load in the bar just at the thought of you topping mr. I’ll br home soon, then we can fonisy this/
He briefly contemplated a beer before he opened the next text, but couldn’t justify it even to himself so early in the morning. He refilled his coffee before he opened the next message, sure now that he was going to need at least another pot.
The next message made him spit his mouthful of coffee out, barely managing to move his phone out of the way in time. He absentmindedly wiped his chin, then groped for a blanket he could use to mop up the spill.
8:44 PM: Oh God Gibbs I want your hand wrPPED AROUND NY COCK, WTROKIJF ME, MAKINB NE CUM. I BET THE CALLUSES ON YOUR HANDS FRIN EOODQORKING ARR OUT PF THOS WORLD.
He almost didn’t want to open the last message, but he hadn’t shirked from the hard shit when he was a Marine, and he sure as hell wouldn’t start doing it now. His hand shaking, he clicked the last message.
8:50 PM: I wa na coke all over your chest and thrn rub it in. Mark my terfitory. Let all those damned redheqds kniw rhay you’re mine. You’vw always geen mine.
Ah, hell. He tossed his phone on the coffee table and headed for the basement. Screw the beer, this required bourbon. Thank God they weren’t on call.
Jethro had decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to pretend nothing had changed. Just because he now knew that Tony had an attraction towards him didn’t mean that he had a chance. If he was now calling him “Tony” in his head, rather than DiNozzo, well…that was something he had come to terms with over a bottle of bourbon that weekend.
Jethro was well aware that he was the marrying kind. He was just as aware that Tony was not. The number of beds he had pulled the younger man out of when calling him for a case was well beyond anything Jethro wanted to contemplate.
Yes, maintaining the status quo was the only way to handle the situation. If the head slaps were fewer and he found more reasons to touch Tony casually, well, nobody needed to know that but himself.
Jethro listened carefully as Tony filled Kate in on his plans for the weekend. He groaned internally, knowing that if Tony was going as far away as New York to hit the clubs, it meant it was likely his phone would be blowing up again tonight.
Kate may not realize it, too comfortable in her view of Tony, but his frat brothers were nowhere near New York. If Tony was heading there, it was for more than just looking to pick up a woman. If that were all, he would stay in town and close to his comfort zone. The only reason for him to go so far was to look for a man for the night.
Keeping his expression neutral, Jethro headed the opposite way. If he was gonna survive this weekend with his sanity intact, he needed to stock up on bourbon. And probably grunt candy, for the inevitable hangover.
Jethro was glad he had prepared when the first text rolled in a little before 9 PM the next night. He braced himself before he opened it, then smirked when he realized what Tony was bitching about.
8:55 PM: Damn it, Gibbs, you should see these fuckers. One dude actually had the nerve to ask if he could leave his kids with me for the night. Like…who the hell thinks that’s a good line? I may actually be disgusted.
He laughed out loud, something that happened more and more frequently when he read Tony’s texts.
If this was the tone that was going to be set for the night, Jethro thought he could probably stick with beer. He grabbed one, then settled in for the night’s entertainment.
10:19 PM A twink. A damned twink just approached me. Do I look like a fucking sygar daddy? Holy shit, do I look that ols, Gib s?! I certainly don’t make enough money to be a sugar daddy, not om a federal paycheck.
He smirked, taking another sip of his beer. The others may be clueless about the real Tony that was kept hidden, but Jethro was well aware that the man had a trust fund from his mother that he could live comfortably off of if he so chose. He liked the fact that Tony didn’t rely on it, actually.
10:48 PM Fast food. That asshole actually uswd FAST FOOD to hit on me, Givbs. “I&ll be Burger King and you be McDogald's. I'll have it my way and you'll ne loving it." UGH!
Jethro had to swallow his beer before he could spit it out, managing to choke on it. Once he could breathe again, he re-read the text, now easily deciphering Tony’s drunk fingers. Once he had read it again, he laughed hard enough to turn his face red. He may not know exactly where Tony had gone to look for a hook up, but it didn’t appear to be very successful. He determinedly ignored the warm feeling that gave him.
11: 55 PM what hacw uou donw ti me? Evwn T A GAY CLUB IN NYC, I CAN’T GET LAID BECuse noje of them are YOU. At least with women I can just tell myself I dom’y cate vecause they’re sofy and curvy. But men? Apparently, yoi’re it. What a waste of a trip.
He really hoped this was the last text of the night, because once he had figured it out, he knew it was definitely time to move on to bourbon and his basement. He would crack open a fresh bottle and if it was empty in the morning – well, that was why he had stocked up on the grunt candy, after all.
Jethro rubbed his temples, then drained his latest cup of coffee. This mission had gone to hell in a handbasket, thanks to the CIA, and he had been in MTAC for most of the day, trying to salvage what they could and get their people out.
A quick look at his watch had him striding up the ramp to yank open the door, startling several junior agents that were still around. He barked at one to get him more coffee, then another to get him Tony, his gut already clenching.
The first junior agent handed him his coffee, which he acknowledged with a dismissive nod. The longer the second agent took to come back, the more his gut churned.
When the agent finally returned, it was to inform him that Tony had already left, leaving a message with McGee that he would email Gibbs about his departure. Jethro barely resisted crushing his coffee cup, suddenly positive that something was wrong. Tony never left before Jethro dismissed the team, and often not even then.
He ignored the buzzing of his phone as he headed back into MTAC, more than ready to get this disaster finished so he could look at his phone and see what was going on.
By the time he had gotten back through the security and into the room, they were on standby. He climbed to the back of the theater seats so he could check his phone without any commentary from the others in the room.
9:47 PM: I’m so sorry, Gibbs. Clearly I misunderstood what I was told, and I have definitely overstepped every line out there. No need to fire me, I’ll be emailing my resignation shortly.
9:49 PM: I have enough leave built up to just vanish. That way you won’t be uncomfortable. I’ll tell Morrow my resignation is effective immediately.
Jethro barely managed to stop himself from cursing out loud. He quickly checked the time on the texts, then immediately replied.
9:51 PM: DiNozzo.
He waited anxiously for a response, knowing that Tony could type quite a bit more quickly than he could.
9:54 PM: DiNozzo!
Jethro had never wished so hard that he had given in and upgraded to a newer phone. Just typing Tony’s last name took him far longer than he was comfortable with, but he wasn’t giving up now.
9:56 PM: Rule 3, DiNozzo.
A reminder of the rules had never failed him before, even if it usually was face to face, not via text. He was running out of options and it was clear the mission would be heating up again any time.
9:59 PM: Tony?
He kept his phone out, typing whenever he could afford to tear his eyes from the screen. If anyone dared to look at him, he glared at them until they turned away, too anxious to even try to hide his skill with texting.
10:06 PM: Tony, answer me!
Jethro was really starting to get worried now. If the Director saw Tony’s resignation before he could stop it, the man very well may accept it, especially if Tony chose to be honest about his reasons behind it.
10:18 PM: I'm not accepting your resignation, Anthony.
Jethro couldn’t technically block Tony’s resignation, if he was determined, but Tony wouldn’t know that. If him saying he wouldn’t accept it would gain him a little time, he was willing to tell a white lie.
10:30 PM: Tony?
He was starting to sweat now. Why wasn’t Tony answering? He had pulled out every trick he could think of to get the man to answer him.
It was with great relief that the Director finally declared the mission a success. Jethro still had his phone out and was typing the text before he had even made it to the elevator.
10:36 PM: Fuck. I’ll be there in 10. You better answer your damned door.
It would take just about anyone else at least 20 minutes to get to Tony’s apartment from the Navy Yard, but since when had Jethro let that stop him? He floored the gas, determined to get there before Tony had sent that damned email.
He made it in under 10 minutes. He pounded on the door, but couldn’t hear anything from the other side.
Desperate, he sent up a prayer to Shannon, then sent one last text.
10:43 PM: I can’t slam you against it, Tony, if we’re on opposite sides.
He heard a lock click and his heart jumped. Slowly, the door started to open, and Jethro resisted the urge to slam through it. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.
Stepping forward slowly, he gently pushed the door just far enough that he could step through. Seeing Tony standing there, looking uncertain, Jethro smiled and reached out for Tony with one hand, gently closing the door behind himself.