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The first time El remembers someone being kind to her was when Henry first approached her, protected her from their siblings, and gave her guidance on how to control the powers she had. Sometimes they laughed together, when it was safe to do so, and she thought, for a second, that maybe something good was finally happening, that escaping would be possible, that Henry liked her. Perhaps, in a psychotic way, he did, but that was buried too deep to be enough to change whatever sick plans the Mind Flayer had for him. And just like that, she was forced to destroy the first person who treated her like a human being, and all the memories they built together went with him, wherever the hell he had gone.
Regression. Amnesia. Possible brain damage.
It was confusing for a long while for her and the scientists, almost as if they had a baby in their care all over again. “Experiment 011 lost grasp of basic concepts,” they said right in front of her, like it didn’t matter if she was in the room. The worst part was that it didn’t... She didn’t understand one word. No one tried to teach her anything that wasn’t lab-related, which she hated but had no other choice than to endure it.
The second one was Benny, who paid too great a price for someone who only fed, dressed, and housed a little broken girl for a few hours.
Then there was Mike. Michael Wheeler.
El doesn’t understand a lot about religion, but she would say that the boy was a godsend. From day one he cared for her, protected her, fought for her, and saw her as a person—even when no one else thought otherwise. He’s the reason she didn’t carry her nickname with resentment—despite Kali’s clear distaste—because that... that was something Mike gave to her at the beginning of her new life. It was hers. Experiment 011 and El weren’t the same, never would be.
It was through him that El found a family of her own, and it was for them, and many others, that she would disappear with the Upside Down. They would finally be free.
How ironic it was that the first person to ever show her kindness was the reason she would never experience it ever again?
She wonders if there was still a part of Henry—the real one—in there when the end came, and what he would think of everything that happened; wonders if they would be friends if things had gone differently.
There was no reason to dwell on it now, not when Mike’s gaze found hers and the smile immediately dropped from his face, his legs moving in long strides towards the gate, determination set on his jaw even as the soldiers tried to hold him back. Surprisingly, he freed himself from their grasp and ran towards her, screaming her name.
“El.”
She should’ve thrown him back right away, far from the gate. The suppression devices weren’t directed at her, and yet she stood there, horrified, body frozen in surprise and fear. She couldn’t move. That— that was not supposed to happen.
Mike reached her fast, hands grasping her arms with too much strength, a desperate expression and tears rolling down his face.
“We need to get out of here,” he shouted, trying to move her.
“Mike,” she tried.
“We can find a place to hide,” he went on and El wondered if he truly believed that. “It’s fine, we’re going to be fine.”
El cupped his face, committing to memory the beautiful face of the only one she would ever love. She wished his hair was loose; his curls were always so beautiful.
“Mike,” she said more firmly, “you need to go.”
“No!” He shouted and shook her by the shoulders, trying to move her out of the gate.
“This is my choice, you have to understand,” El pleaded.
With a deep breath, she decided to forcefully get him away but—
“I don’t,” Mike yelled, and she froze again. “I don’t understand.”
“You will, one day—”
“You don’t understand,” there was so much desperation in his tone, voice cracking as if he was experiencing physical pain. “I told you. I told you my life started that day I found you in the woods. You might as well take me with you because if I lose you... it’s over. That’s it.”
Outside the gate the others were screaming themselves into madness. It had increased since Mike stopped by her side and wasn’t able to move her. The military wasn’t doing anything because she was only worth alive, and probably because none of the soldiers would be comfortable with the idea of getting that close to a dying world. Kay herself seemed shocked.
It was just her and Mike.
It was always them.
“I can’t outrun them forever,” she whispered and rested her forehead against his. “I’m sorry.”
An awful sob escaped Mike’s throat and it broke her heart. “Please don’t do this.”
They would always hunt her. Kali was right. Part of El suspected that, even with her death, they could try to reopen the project, hurt more women and children; that’s how Henry got into this in the first place. But she would not be a part of it. The last of Papa’s projects would die with her.
When she didn’t answer right away, Mike pulled back and looked at her. Really looked at her. Realization filled his face and emotions passed across it like a freight train.
Confusion. Anger. Desperation. Sadness. Determination.
There wasn’t time for her to brace for—what she thought would be—another attempt to move her because that’s not what Mike had in mind. He nodded. Then he kissed her, desperate and passionate, like they hadn’t done in a long time. She could feel his whole body shaking with how much he clung to her, as if she was going to disappear if he let go for a second. It was filled with sadness and still... El thinks she could stay there forever.
“Mike,” she whispered, trying to pull away, but his arms were laced around her waist in an almost hurtful way, she felt herself panicking, they're running out of time. “Let me go.”
Mike shook his head, chuckling wetly. “Never.”
Determination.
Once, El thought it was necessary to have written proof or three little words on repeat to guarantee that Mike loved her, that he wanted her. It shouldn’t be that hard to say something you feel, something good. Apparently it could be. She would never have time to learn the layers and layers of complexity that drive human beings, but she thinks she finally cracked that one in particular.
Mike never needed words to love her.
She gasped, “Mike...”
Looking deeply into his eyes, El knew that there was no changing his mind. She should be angry, should use her powers to get him far away from her... Except she could feel the truth laid bare in front of her: he would follow her one way or another. Not respecting his choice would only prolong his suffering until he finally broke under the pressure of it. That’s not what she wanted, but she also didn’t want him to die.
“I’m okay with your choice if you’re okay with mine,” he whispered.
The bomb would go off anytime now.
El hugged him tightly, mumbling a soft “I love you” against the crook of his neck. His skin was salty from sweat, but so were her lips from all the crying.
Mike didn’t say it back, and she didn’t need him to.
She felt his head turning for a moment, possibly looking one last time at their friends. She couldn’t find it in herself to do the same. What if they hated her? She was taking Mike with her, what right did she have to do this?
“They’re going to be fine,” he muttered to her, as if listening to her fears.
El pulled back just enough to look at Mike again. “Promise?”
He smiled, a real smile despite their impending death. “Promise.”
The last thing El Hopper felt was Mike’s lips against her forehead and the peaceful feeling of being held by the love of her short life.