Chapter Text
Chapter One
To be honest, Gandalf has had quite enough with these dwarves. They were always complaining, and always fighting. The only person who seemed to be even the slightest bit positive was Bilbo, their small hobbit burglar.
Now Gandalf could understand why certain members--*cough* Thorin *cough*--could be agitated. They were on their way from Boern's and would soon be heading into Mirkwood; elven territory. But this bickering was getting to be too much!
The small journey from the Skin-Changer's home into the dreaded woods of the elven forest was supposed to take a week at most. But because a certain raven haired king couldn't seem to get his head out of his arse, they were at least two days behind. The company was moving aggravatingly slow, and at this rate they'd never reach Erobeor by Durin's Day.
"I'm telling you, Thorin! Mirkwood is that way!"
"Well according to the map that I'm holding, it's this way!"
"For Mahal's sake, you're holding it upside down!!! Here, let me hold it!"
"No! I'm the leader!"
It appeared that even old, wise Balin had lost his patience. Gandalf couldn't help but roll his eyes at the dwarrow's childish techniques.
A cough forced passed the wizard's lips reminding him of his other problem: His cold. He hadn't caught one in nearly 50 years, and now he seemed to be having a slight temperature. It was making the wizard feel awful, and drawing his patience right thin.
"I'm actually on Balin's side. You do have a rather bad sense of direction."
"What?! Dwalin, I can't believe you just said that!!"
"Thorin, calm down--"
"Don't tell me to calm down, Halfling!"
At the king's insult towards the small Hobbit, Gandalf finally had enough. He stood with a loud stomp of his staff. The area fell silent as he began to rant.
"Thorin, you are a king! It's about damn time you act like one, and not like a bratty child! We're already late enough as it is, now pass Balin the map so we can get to Mirkwood as quickly as--"
He was cut off by the sudden need to sneeze. "Ah--"
Thorin look at the wizard with wide eyes as he recognized the sound. "Take cover!" He called out. The company instantly began to hide behind trees and rocks. Bilbo simply stood there confused.
"Why, he's only going to--"
"CHOO!!!" As Gandalf sneezed, he accidentally swung his staff forwards, unleashing a ball of magic that created a blinding light.
When the light finally faded, everyone slowly came out of hiding. "Is everyone okay?" The wizard asked with a sniffle. There was a chorus of yeses and simple grunts before Bofur said something that grabbed everyone's attention.
"Where's Bilbo?"
They all looked from the hatted dwarf, to the place where Bilbo was standing. All they found was a pile of Bilbo's clothes that were...breathing?
Thorin slowly approached the pile, and lifted up the red jacket, only to find a dirty blond, curly haired lad with pointy ears, and big furry feet, no older the four, fast asleep. He could feel his heart melt as a soft snore escaped the child's lips. He bent down and picked up the infant as he wrapped him up in the red coat.
The company watched the scene unfold with wide eyes. "Is that...Bilbo?" Kili asked in a hushed tone.
The king-in-exile frowned and looked down at the child in his arms. "Yes, I do believe so."
They all turned to Gandalf who looked slightly pale. "Oh Valar, what have I done?"
The three youngest dwarves, Ori, Kili, and Fili, approached their uncle and the swaddled babe. "He's so small," Ori stated in awe. Kili got a smile on his face as he played with the 50 year old turned four child's honey coloured curls.
"He's so cute! " the brunette cooed, making his uncle snort. Fili looked concerned at his uncle.
"And vulnerable. " Thorin nodded and looked at Gandalf.
"How long will he be like this? " the wizard simply looked down and played with his robe. A feeling of dread washed over the dwarves. The king frowned and narrowed his eyebrows. "Gandalf...?"
The old wizard sighed. "I don't know! It could wear off in a few days, a few months, a few years, or it might even be... " Gandalf took in a sharp breath at the thought.
"Permanent. " Balin finished.
The company turned back to poor sleeping Bilbo. What were they going to do? It's not like they could take him, the road ahead was still very dangerous, and there was absolutely no way they could send him in to the dragon now. They couldn't do that to a child.
Suddenly, the small bundle in Thorin's arms shifted, and a small whine came from it.
"He's waking up."
"What do we do?!"
"Give 'im to me! I know what to do, I've had practice on my wee lad Gimli!"
"Are ye kidding? Ya'll scare the poor lad!"
"He can't cry, he'll give us away!"
Gandalf sighed at the panicking dwarves, he simply went up to Thorin, and laid out his arms. "Give me the hobbit." He said softly, the raven haired dwarf only nodded and passed him to the wizard.
Bilbo blinked away his sleepiness and looked around him with his big, green eyes. A small frown came upon his face, but as he looked at Gandalf his eyes lit up as he recognized the old man.
"Gandalf?" A few members of the company almost cooed at the sound of his innocent voice. Gandalf chuckled.
"Good day, Mister Bilbo."
The child only nodded and looked at the dwarves around him. He leaned closer to the wizard and attempted to bury himself into the loose robe. "Where?... Who are they?" He whispered rather loudly. He didn't remember anything about his adulthood. Gandalf smiles and looks up at the dwarrow.
"These are some friends of mine, they're going to help me take care of you."
Bilbo's eyes widen and he shook his head. "No." He whimpered. Gandalf rose an eyebrow at the fauntling. Hobbits weren't known to be disobedient, but yet again, Bilbo was half Took. "What?" the young shireling huffed. "No! I want home! I want the Shire! Bag End!" Bilbo's eyes lined with tears.
The company looked at each other guiltily. Hobbits weren't meant to leave home, yet alone children. No matter what they chose to do with him, it'd be hard on him.
It was Dori who was the first to step up, his mother hen instincts kicking in. He looked down at the hobbit with the most gentle smile he could muster. His expression became even softer as he saw the watery green eyes of the child. Bilbo was no doubt scared and completely confused.
"Hi there, Bilbo. My names Dori, and I know you're scared right now, and that you want to go home, and I promise we'll get you there as soon as we can, but right now I need you to be a big, strong boy for me. Okay? None of us are going to hurt you, and we'll do everything in our power to protect you. But we can only do this if you let us. Do you understand?"
The dwarrow fell silent as they looked at the old dwarf in shock. He had raised both Nori, and Ori with barely any help from their parents. He had more then enough experience with children. Bilbo sniffled and nodded in agreement. This only made Dori's smile brighten.
"Great! Is it alright if I pick you up and introduce you to my friends?" The hobbit shook his head and hid into Gandalf again. The older dwarf slightly frowned at the reply. "May I ask why? " Bilbo peaked over the edge of his red jacket, his cheeks growing red.
"Naked. " He simply said. This earned a chuckle from everyone, even Thorin.
Dori moved over to the pile of Bilbo's clothes, then looked back at Gandalf. "Any chance you can shrink these down? " The wizard nodded and did exactly that. In a few minutes the little hobbit was dressed in a pair of briefs, his brown trousers, a white button up, brown suspenders, a golden waist coat and, of course, his scarlet jacket.
Dori grinned at his work and the now standing shireling (Bilbo only reached his knees.) He knelt down to his size. "Are you ready to meet my friends now?" The hobbit nodded and placed his small hand in Dori's huge one.
The dwarrow quickly formed a half circle around them. "These are my brothers, Nori and Ori. " Dori began introducing. The tristar, red head looked down at Bilbo with a pleased grin, while young Ori looked at him like he was the most precious thing on earth. Bilbo looked up at them through his wide green orbs. 'They don't seem too bad,' He thought.
"Then there's the Ur family: Bofur, Bifur, and their cousin, Bombour." Bilbo looked up at Bifur's axe, not in fear, but curiosity. This made the dwarf give him the brightest grin anyone has ever seen. When the Hobbit saw Bofur, he tilted his head slightly at the sight of his hat. 'It looks funny,' thought Bilbo. Bofur merely tilted said hat in acknowledgement and a wide smile spread across his face. Bilbo's eyes widen when he saw Bombour and his big belly. 'He must get a lot of women,' he thought, remembering how his father told him that roundness was an attractive factor to Hobbits. Bombour was smiling fondly at the little tyke.
"Next is the Groin family, Oin and Gloin." Bilbo took a small step back as Gloin bent down. The red haired dwarf's entire face screamed happiness.
"Ah, well you're just a wee little thing! I remember when Gimli was your age..." he trailed off. Bilbo couldn't help but wonder who Gimli was. Whoever he was, it seemed that the dwarf missed him. The older dwarf beside him had some kind of trumpet sticking out of his ear. Bilbo narrowed his eyes at this fact. He thought that trumpets were instruments that played music.
" Why do you have a music trumpet in your ear?" He asked, the older dwarf simply laughed as Dori dragged him to the next group.
"And there's the family of Fundin, Balin and Dwalin." 'Now these two look serious, ' Bilbo thought. Balin had a small grin on his face, but he looked at Bilbo as if he was trying to work something out. His brother wasn't any better, his face seemed emotionless, but Bilbo could see the slight amusement in his eyes. He wasn't scared by him.
"Then there are Princes Fili and Kili from the Durin-" Bilbo didn't get the chance to hear what Dori said next because he was pulled into a pair of arms.
"Oh Valar, he's so cute!!!" the blond cried out. "He's so adorable!! Look at his big feet! Uncle!! Can we adopt him?!" the brunette questioned. Bilbo whined and tried to get back to Dori. He was sure they meant him no harm, but he couldn't handle this right now.
"Boys! Settle down, you're scaring him!" a deep voice explained. Fili let go, looking slightly defeated, while Kili simply clutched him to his chest. "But uncle! Look at him, he has to be the most precious thing I've ever seen!!" the youngest whined as he tightened his grip on the Hobbit. This made Bilbo whimper as his air supply became suddenly limited. He tried his best to pull off the huge hands, as he struggled to take in air.
Thorin's eyes widen as he saw this, and quickly grabbed the Hobbit from his nephew's grasp. Bilbo instantly gulped up as much air as he could manage and coughed slightly. Thorin glared down at Kili. "You can't hold him that tight! He's a living thing, not some stuffed animal, you could have killed him! " He snapped. Kili looked down with a guilty face and muttered his apologies. Thorin looked back down at Bilbo who had just calmed down.
"Hello Master Baggins. I'm Thorin Oakenshield. Leader of this company." He introduced. Bilbo narrowed his eyebrows at his serious tone. All the others seemed happy, but this one seemed upset. "Why do you no smile?" He asked, a chorus of 'aws' and laughter sprung from the company. But Thorin merely deepened his frown. "Excuse me?" He questioned the small child. Bilbo acting strictly off instinct, reached up for Thorin's cheeks and raised them into a smile. The Halfling laughed at his work. "Torwin smile! " He cheered and began to laugh again.
With those two words the burglar turned child had stolen a spot in Thorin's heart, and also made an uproar in the company.
"Can you say my name too, Bilbo? Try it! Fi-li!"
"No, say Kili! Ki-li!"
"Lads, ye might as well step aside. We all know he's gonna say my name next. Right Bilbo? Come on, say Bo-fur."
"Seeing how he adjusted to me first, I think that I'll be next!"
"Pah, yeah right! He'll probably end up calling you Admar rather than Dori!"
Gandalf sighed and Bilbo whimpered. This was going to be a long night.