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The smell of brine was heavy in the air. A roar filled Ahsoka’s head, growing louder as she struggled to open her eyes. Wind pummeled down on her as she squinted into the storm. Rain lashed with a speed that stung her skin and bent like arrows in all directions. Where- a sharp pain speared through her thigh like a hot knife. Her cry was lost in the gale. Through watering eyes, she saw the split in the fabric and flesh on her leg. A gleaming white bone snapped down the middle speared through the wound and the breath went tight in her chest. Her quickening heart beat pushed the bone further with each pulse. No but- the wind changed direction and the sky screamed. Then she looked up. The black steps of the temple were rinsed in sea foam all the way up to the gapping black doors that towered above her. And further behind that, a wall of water churned and stretched so very high. Ahsoka screamed. She was sure she did, she felt the terror rattle in her chest. Her throat tore and filled with sea water that had become rain. Blood splashed onto the black steps when she tried to run. Her boots were pushed deep into the oily rock, seizing her tight as a thundering so loud filled her head. Blind panic consumed her. It made her heart crush against her ribs and squeezed the air from her lungs. No-no-words babbled when the sound of something heavy slapped on the ground in front of her. The wave loomed and darkened the sky above her head. So loud and large it made the rock beneath her feet tremble up into her bones. But still Ahsoka looked. It stood in the doorway, half leaning out onto the steps as water curtained down around it. Its bulbous white eyes stared at her and blinked sideways. Its fleshy lips yawned into a smile and three rows of needle-like teeth dripping with sea foam fanned out with it. The wave bellowed above her and yet she could still hear the wet fleshiness of its webbed hand unfurling towards her face.
Ahsoka screamed until her throat was raw. Her legs tangled and lashed with the damp sheets. The sky had split in the night and rain drowned the streets of Yscallin. The window's shutter banged open and shut, airing the room with the thick smell of water. Everything was dark and small, too tight to stand up in, too fragile before the wall of darkness that loomed over her. Hot fingers of pain worried down her back to her chest and legs. No-no- the darkness banged and a rectangle of warm yellow light split apart the darkness. Heavy steps were muffled beneath the rain fall and Ahsoka's raw voice stammered as a warm hand touched her shoulder.
“You're awake,” a voice said. “It's rain and you're awake.”
Ahsoka blinked her blurry eyes until the glints of light became a golden pair looking back. The thudding in her chest did not slow as she stared up at Maul’s passive face nor the tremors that passed back and forth over her skin. A dream, she grit her teeth and Maul frowned. She touched his hand, barely feeling the smooth skin when the pain found her. It started in her ribs, her pulse finding the cracks and breaks in the bone and forcing them further apart with each beat. The pumping of hot blood burned the hole in her leg, making her foot buck and wither against the mattress. “Ah…” her jaw locked against her tongue filling her with the taste of blood.
“Breathe!” An arm around Ahsoka’s waist pulled her forward and she felt the skin on her back stretch. There were few other places to put herself. She pressed her face into his shoulder, a force against the pain that crept up her throat and a barrier for the tears that threatened to spill away.
“It hurts,” she stared wildly over his shoulder and her fingers spread wide across his back. “It hurts!”
“I know…” His voice softened. “Can you breathe?”
“I-” she choked and swallowed thickly as her eyes rolled to the open window, the rain lashing the sill.
“Don't listen to the rain, listen to me,” Maul waved his hand and the two halves of the glass swept in and sealed tight. The same hand grazed the back of her shaking shoulder and then slowly slipped forward to the soft skin of her neck. The thunder of the rain became a drone. She squeezed her eyes shut as the pain rolled over her in waves.
“Say something then,” Ahsoka swallowed her blood and breathed against his chest. It rose high into hers and the warmth of it slipped closely beneath her skin.
After a moment, he asked. “What did you dream of?”
“What do you think?” She hissed and her fingers tightened into his back. “I dream of it…or I dream of the pain. It creeps in.” Her leg shuddered violently and a pained sound escaped her clenched teeth. The warmth of his chest against hers pulled away. “No, please-” she pulled weakly on his arms.
“Let me get the morphine,” His eyes darted between hers.
“No.”
“You're suffering!” Maul's voice came heavier.
“It takes more than the pain,” she fumbled for his hand, her fingers clammy and weak.
“It will help you more than I can,” the gears in his prosthetic whirred as he hunkered down. “We can go to Ord Mantell, Aybarin-”
“No!” Ahsoka spat, “no.”
“He can fix all of this in a night,” Maul insisted.
“After weeks in Hyper Space?” Ahsoka clutched at her arms. The sweat on her back had cooled, an ice creeping across her skin that made the tremors worse. “No…Please don’t.” She met his eyes. They were close and yet still wavered in her watery vision like ink. The tension on his face became a frown, a retort or a sharp word already forming behind his mouth. “Don’t make that decision for me,” she swallowed tightly and curled into herself.
“...Then let me get the morphine,” he finally said. Ahsoka squeezed her eyes shut and listened to the rain. It poured in thick swathes, the dim lights of the city marbled and warped through the billions of droplets and then the rippling window panes onto her face, in the palest of blues. It did not howl like that day on the sea floor. Her neck was stiff and sore when she nodded and Maul exhaled sharply through his nose. The weight on the bed did not change, the packet of shots was on her bedside table, close to hand. She squinted against the rustling of the lid and the breaking of the sealant cap. Her ribs squeezed twice as hard as he laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “This takes, but pain will take all it can,” he said in a voice that was almost kind. Ahsoka nodded in resignation and didn’t flinch at the sharp prick that slid into her shoulder. “I will give you only half,” Maul added as a bubble of pressure slid into her vein. She felt her heart beat thud and then slow as a wave of coolness passed through. The burning hole in her leg was washed away and the morse code like twitches and jerks went still. The tight squeeze and nauseating ache of her ribs relaxed and her lungs filled with a deep, grateful breath. Then the fear died, pushed into the dark of her own mind like a tightly locked box. The relief made her sigh and sag as the needle was removed. “Now sleep,” Maul murmured.
“No,” Ahsoka whispered and rolled her head up to him.
“...You might have a full night’s rest. The shot will have worn off by morning,” he sounded confused.
“And I have lost what relief I have in that time,” Ahsoka muttered. Her hand was loose as it slipped into his. She felt his eyes dance between her touch and her face as she studied the tattoos over his knuckles. She found in the heavy night, she did not want to be parted from the company. “I’m tired of sleeping and I’m tired of dreaming,” her eyes were sluggish and heavy as she pulled them up to his face. “Did I wake you?”
“I was already awake,” Maul replied after a moment.
“Then take me somewhere,” she smiled loosely.
“In your condition?” he sounded more confused.
“I’m not asking for the other side of the city or even down the street,” she laughed, her voice giddy and feeling dimly surprised at her own humour. “Just take me somewhere with lights.”
“I…” Maul scoffed and shook his head. “Are you aware of your condition? If I move you too much we could set back weeks of progress.”
“Time is weird trapped in four walls but weeks?” Ahsoka giggled again and Maul hummed in agreement.
“And if by accident I hurt you?” he mused.
“Then treat me gently.” Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh knowing she should feel embarrassed when his brow bounced up at her words. He looked her up and down, his eyes spinning like golden coins as he slowly stood. “Please,” she squeezed his hand. “Please.”
Maul sighed and shook his head even as he bent over her. His arms were as firm and dense as tree branches as he slid one beneath her knees and the other scooped her lower back. Her mind buzzed as the feeling changed to something more pliable and comfortable as they took her weight. “Arms,” he demanded as he stood up again. The feeling of weightlessness made her bite her tongue to stop another snicker as she uselessly dropped her arms around his shoulders and neck. “Don’t get too comfortable,” he muttered and walked slowly towards the warm light of the lounge.
“Let me indulge,” Ahsoka smiled sheepishly, “I’m not very comfortable these days.” They walked into the soft yellow light of different lamps placed into different corners of the room and across table tops. She squinted into the light, though soft it still smarted her eyes. Maul did not stop, to Ahsoka's surprise she found herself looking at the rain spattered French doors to the balcony. “...When I said take me somewhere I didn't mean out in the rain,” she mumbled.
“Quiet,” Maul jerked his head towards the door. “Open it.”
“Rude,” she flicked her fingers and the latch dropped with a satisfying clack. “You can try some basic manners you know.”
“Do you know what time it is?” He snipped and his elbow brushed the door open. Cool, wet air wrapped around Ahsoka’s face. The scents of the city were layered between the droplets of rain that splashed her face. For a brief moment she remembered the dream. The peppering of sharp water against her eyes felt foreign compared to the soft impacts against her eyelids. Maul had barely stepped forward into the rain when he adjusted her with a roll of his arms and looked up. “Hold on,” he barely gave her time to look at him when he jumped. Ahsoka gasped and felt a squeeze in her ribs she knew would make itself known in the morning as she looked down. The cobblestones she expected to be racing to meet them were moving further away. Wind rushed down over top of her head as she craned over Maul's shoulder. With more grace and balance then his prosthetics should reasonably achieve, he landed with barely a tremor on their flat top roof.
“Oh…” Ahsoka looked around in surprise. “I didn't know this was open.”
“There’s stairs, this is just quicker,” he turned around. Before the wave, Ahsoka did not think to, nor had the time to explore what quickly became one of the longest residences of her life. So she was surprised at her own surprise and strangely self aware of it all as she discovered the open air lounge covered in a dark awning. Potted plants soaked in the rain and scaled the timbre struts, leading up to a fabric that in the day time Ahsoka assumed would be a rich blue. She reached out and brushed her fingers across a heavy leaf as Maul stepped into its cover. Looking up, the rain bounced off the coverings in soft patters like a million little fingers were tapping down to get their attention. She was just beginning to reach up and press back against the fabric when Maul unceremoniously bowed and set her onto a low lounge cushion. Ahsoka snorted and fumbled behind her for balance as he abruptly pulled away, only to find another soft cushion braced against her side.
“How long have you known about this place?” Ahsoka craned back to look at him.
“A while,” Maul brushed the rain off his arms and hands.
“You didn’t tell me,” She replied, a little hurt.
“I found it when you spent most of your days sleeping.” He reached down and Ahsoka blinked quickly in surprise as his hand ran up and down her montrals and the top of her lek, brushing away the rain. She bit her cheeks and was grateful for the rain he left on her face. “You recovered like that for three days,” he continued, “and in that time all I found I could do was think. Think and feel you dream.” His hand pulled away and Ahsoka followed him with her eyes as he lowered himself onto a stone seat, “you should see the sunrise.”
“Hmm,” she hummed and looked out into the night. She smiled. In only one way was Yscallin like Coruscant, that it never slept. The lights of the city; the thin yellow street lights, the warm oranges from a thousand, thousand windows and the waving hand held lanterns of those who walked the night bled into the rain. The city glowed in a halo of colour. “Lights,” she murmured.
“Satisfied?” Maul replied quietly.
“Not yet,” Ahsoka shook her head sluggishly and it buzzed with warmth. “How often do you come up here?”
“...Often enough,” his eyes flickered up to the heavy fabric ceiling. “I’ve seen clear nights and thousands of stars I hadn’t before. I’ve seen the rings bleed colours in their orbit. Meteor showers, migrating birds and smoke from who knows how many fires and chimneys.”
“Oh,” Ahsoka’s smile faltered a bit, “kinda puts this to shame doesn’t it?”
“Cities are rarer than stars,” he said.
“That’s true I guess,” she agreed, “...did I steal this from you?”
“I wouldn’t have taken you if I didn’t want you to be here,” he muttered after a moment.
“But you must feel so…so confined here-”
“Ahsoka,” Maul warned.
“But you must feel-” she turned and didn’t think. The morphine had numbed her but she still felt the give of her skin and the pop of her stitches. “Oh,” she blinked again and felt something warm drip down her back through her shirt, “I think I’m bleeding.” The clunk of his prosthetic knee lowering to the ground came before she finished the last word. Ahsoka paused as she felt his hand on her back, unable to see his face. “Sorry,” she mumbled and felt his fingers press through the thin shirt, staunching the blood.
“It wouldn’t have been this with how you toss and turn every night,” Maul pulled something out of his pocket. Something silky and soft slipped beneath her shirt and against her skin. In a heart beat, the hand was out and pushing down on it.
“...You know I toss and turn every night?” she smiled broadly as his hand stiffened.
“Don’t make this weird,” he clipped.
“You do the same you know,” she looked deep into the glow of the city lights, transfixed on one patch of warm orange light bleeding out onto the wet cobblestones. “When you sleep that is. But you dream too. I feel it even when I sleep. It sometimes wakes me up,” she trailed off.
“I don’t bleed when I wake,” his voice was a rough little snap. Enough to show his building temper but not loud enough to cover the drumming of the rain.
“Not every time,” Ahsoka mused. She reached back without looking and found the cool metal. Maul said nothing as her hand settled over his prosthetic knee. “I worry about you.”
“You’re not in any position to do that.”
She felt his words close to her neck and closed her eyes with a smile, “I can’t help it.”
His hand relaxed slightly, “You can try,” he grumbled.
“I gave up on that,” Ahsoka breathed deeply into the thick night air. The rain was heavy, it still bounced off the awning in dimples and taps only to flick to the floor beyond it in splashes of black droplets. She watched and let herself remember for a moment. “It was different down there Maul…It was so loud. The ground was so slippery and stuck to me. I thought I would fall over and it would-” she swallowed. “It was raining. But so much harder and it smelled so bad…of rotting things and salt.”
“You survived it,” his voice was soft and low. “We…We survive things together.”
“I wish you were down there with me.”
“Well I wish neither of us were,” he replied.
Ahsoka laughed once. It wasn’t a conscious decision, the elbow that held her up on his knee gave way and the morphine was too thick in her blood to be able to feel it. She did feel his hand pull away abruptly as her head knocked against his chest. Oh, she blinked dully again as she felt Maul begin to pull away from her. “Wait,” she said and surprisingly he stopped. “You’re warm…”
“Remember what I said about not getting too comfortable?” Maul bit out.
“I know, but there’s very, very few people I can ever be comfortable with.” He hadn’t moved and she heard his heart beats pressed against her montrals. “...They’re dead or I don’t trust them anymore.”
“...Who?” he said reluctantly.
Her memory flashed to Anakin when his smile still reached his eyes and his hand was gentle on her shoulder. She’d sleep at his feet while he kept watch, face buried into his cloak he tossed at her. Then Obi-wan. He’d been kind and wise in front of Anakin’s brashness. Always saving a scrap of time for her. Finding the most comfortable place for the night just for her even if it was just a slightly flatter rock. Making sure she was warm, watered and fed. Always with a joke, a compliment and a smile. But in the end he had traded that. Betrayed all those memories. Traded them to join the compliance of the Masters. Fifteen and nearly sent to a prison filled with murderers and worse. Worse. She was fifteen and young and he would have let her be locked away with them. He wouldn’t even speak to her. And Anakin killed children. And then he killed Padme. The night was silent yet heavy. Behind Ahsoka’s head she felt Maul trembling and only then realised she had said everything outloud. “I’m sorry,” she sat up, her body useless like jelly and so slow. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring him up.”
His arm was around her waist and there was no strength for any resistance as he pulled her flush into his chest. “Was it ever like this?” he said so very quietly.
“No,” she swallowed. “Never.” His other arm flossed across beneath the other and stayed. Ahsoka’s eyes flickered back and forth as his prosthetics extended on either side of her and she was surrounded by him. She turned her head up over her shoulder and found his golden eyes meeting hers. “You’re like the sun,” she murmured, “you’re warm and…”
“And?” he questioned.
“Your eyes,” she reached up. His face flinched as her fingers neared it but he didn’t retreat as her touch slid loosely over his brow. “They’re very bright.”
Maul said nothing for a moment and then jutted his chin towards the horizon. “You should watch the sun rise.” Ahsoka looked back over and sure enough, there was a sliver of dark blue creeping over the city's lights. “And you’re the last person that should be paying compliments to my eye colour.”
“I was never taught that they would be so pretty.” His hearts thudded evenly against her head and she felt her spine sink into his chest.
“Don’t call them pretty,” when he spoke his words hummed.
“But they are,” she blinked. It was getting harder to keep her eyelids open.
“If those Masters you dislike so much heard you say that you’d be locked up for sure,” Maul said quietly and leaned against her montral. “They’re pretty are they?” he snorted. “Well I think they were brown once. A very long time ago but they weren’t bright, they weren’t warm.” Maul paused as her breaths rose and fell deeply against him. He tilted his head and looked down at her face just as the first graze of light began to touch it. Her eyes were shut. Oh…
Maul would never let her know it but he sat there until the sun was high in the sky and all the while watched how the horizon changed.