Chapter Text
“word”- Deadpools good voice “ word”-Daedpools bad voice
Deadpool stood looking down at the dumpster, and wondered, what was he to do. He had been on his way home, when the sound of raised voices in an ally had drawn him to it....
“Give me all your money” a frantic voice said.
“I...I d...don’t have any” a terrified female voice replied.
A mugging he’d thought what fun. He was board, the mission he just finished was stupidly easy and had left him itching for a fight. As he rounded the corner into the ally. The sound of a gun going off made him jump back and drop in to a fighting stance. He pulled out his swords, and peered around the corner into the alley. There before him was a junky strung out, wielding a gun, stearing at a young girl laid out on the ground with a bullet wound to her head.
“That’s not nice.“
“No it’s messy.“
“Now see your holding it all wrong, you need to hold it JUST. LIKE. THIS!!!!” Deadpool said as he rushed the druggy and took the gun firing it in time with the last three words.
“I hate people that hurt kids and she can’t be much older the fourteen.“ he said, crouching over the dyeing thug. The thug gurgled up blood and died.
Deadpool rose to walk out of the ally, when the sound of a baby crying in the near by dumpster made him pause. He looked in and found a baby lying in a box on top of the garbage. The baby was obviously a mutant. It madded light blue hair was a staking contrast to it's eyes red. He stood looking into the box in the dumpster, wondering at what he should do.
“We should keep it, it’s so cute”
“It’s better off here with the way the world treats mutants”
“It noisy and looks cold” Deadpool said as he reached in to pick it up. It was cold to the touch.
“Careful with its head, there wobbly and need support.”
Deadpool carefully pulled it to his body to keep it warm. With the baby in his arms he noticed the umbilical cord was still attached and tied with a shoe lace and that he held a boy.
“He’ll need gun training when he gets older. We better teach him.“
“We’ll be a good dad, better than all the other dads.”
With all of his voices agreeing, Deadpool decides to take the boy home. Deadpool looked around for something to wrap the baby in, finding nothing lying about. He decides to cut the girls shirt off and use it. Now warm, the baby stops crying,snuggles into his chest and falls asleep. He walks out of the ally and heads towards a busier street.
“We should get a cab. Its fall and the weather is cold out, that is bad for babies.”
DSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDS*WPWPWPWPWPWPWPWPWP*DSDSDSDSDSDSDSD
So far Spiderman was having a relatively quiet night. All he had found was one car thief. which he had quickly stopped. leaving him tied up in the back of a cop car, outside of a coffee shop. One would be gas station robber, webbed and left hang in the gas station door way, for the cop to pick up when the attendant called the cops. Spiderman had patrolled most of queens when he decided to head home.
The sound of gunshot gets Spiderman’s attention half way home. The three shots that follow shortly thereafter have him speeding up. When he spots Deadpool walking away from an ally, in the area he heard the gunshots come from. He has the feeling that Deadpool was behind the shots of gunfire; they seem to follow Deadpool where ever the merc goes. He drops down onto the sidewalk behind Deadpool to talk to the mercenary.
“Out having fun on the job Deadpool?” He asks as he Swings up behind Deadpool.
Deadpool doesn’t even flinch at his sudden appearance, because Deadpool is used to him by now. As he often swings in on the mercenary, Deadpool, while on patrol. It is nice to have someone to talk to, late at night, it makes things go faster.
“Nope it was an easy mission today. Got it done about an hour ago,” Deadpool replies.
With that pronouncement Spiderman figure the gunshot are not Deadpools but something else and turns back to the ally.
“Did you hear the gunshots?” He asked as he heads back to the ally.
“Caused them,” Deadpool replies.
Causing him to stop and face Deadpool again.
“Shot a druggy that shot a girl.”
He stares at Deadpool for a second. As it takes a moment to proses that Deadpool has killed a mugger, and is talking about it like it’s the weather. Even after all the chats with Deadpool, it still surprises him when Deadpool talks about death so casually.
“Heard him trying to hold her up, and went to see if I could have a little fun. Walked into the ally just as he shot her. Fucker, held the gun all wrong, must have been a lucky shot. Couldn’t have aimed the gun well, while holding it like that, or as drugged as he was. So, I took it from him, and shot him with it. Tried to explain to him that it was bad to hurt kids, but he bleed out too fast. She couldn’t have been more than fourteen or fifteen. Don’t know what she was doing in that ally. Then I heard this little one crying in the dumpster. He was cold so I rapped him up. I am going to take him home, and take care of him. I’ll be the best dad ever…” He hears Deadpool tell the story as he walks to the mouth of the ally and looks in.
Seeing a scene much like the one Deadpool describes. Spiderman freezes, while his brain processes that Deadpool is talking about being a dad.
“Wait, Wait, WHAT!!” He shrieks, “back up, I think I heard you say you were going to be a dad.”
“Yep, that's what I said. I'll be the best dad ever!” Deadpool replies. “Well at least better then who ever left this little guy in that dumpster. I bet they threw him out cause he’s a mutant. That just sad, throwing out a perfectly good kid because his hairs blue and eyes are red. That’s a waste. Wish I knew who it was I so could make them pay for throwing him out. I would-“
“Deadpool, stop!” Spiderman shouts “Do you even know how to take care of a child?”
“Nope,” Deadpool replies “but, most parents don’t know how to raise kids either. That's why they have all those parenting books. I’ll learn just like everyone else.”
He thinks Deadpool has a point there. Most parents don’t know how to raise a kid when they first have them. His aunt and uncle sure hadn’t in the beginning.
“Do you realies how much work it is to raise a child or how expensive?” He asks. “Who is going to watch him when you have to work? Speaking of work, your line of work isn’t very safe, what if you die?”
“Jobs not much more dangers then a cops, they have kids all the time. I can’t die cause of the healing factor so more likely to come home then them. I have more money than god. Save it up from working as mercenary. Could take a break till the kids bigger. Or there is a daycare five blocks from where I live. They advertise that they accept babies and have night care.“ Deadpool replies, as he starts off back down the street.
“Sounds like you thought this threw,“ he says, jogging to catch up to Deadpool. “So, where are you going?”
“Home, it's too cold for the kid to be outside,” Deadpool replies, as he continues his walk down the street. “Especially since the kid has no clothes.”
“Um, does he even have a diaper?” Spiderman asks.
He watches as Deadpool stops, looks down at the baby in his arms, then over at Spiderman.
“No, suppose that’ll be our first stop then. Wonder where I can get some? Are places open this late?” Deadpool muses and comes to a stop.
“I think there’s a twenty-four hour Walgreens a few blocks up.” Spiderman says, “they probably have diapers, maybe even some bottles and formula. Might even have some clothes for the kid too.” Spiderman starts heading to Walgreens.
“What else do you think he’ll need?” Deadpool asks, “do you think they have stuffys? every kid should have a stuffy. I didn’t, but he should, a bear maybe. It should be soft, and fluffy, maybe a bunny? Not one of those floppy eared ones, their creepy. Can’t trust things with floppy ears…” he lesions to Deadpool ramble on about stuffys the rest of the way to Walgreens.