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His blue eyes were almost dry from the time he spent without blinking. His mouth wide open. Shivers down his spine, hands trembling. Shock waves running all over his body. Could it be… Him? His best friend that abandoned him ten years ago?
He looked the same, yet so different. Keigo still has the same golden eyes, same blonde curls and fussy eyebrows. Still wears the same silver chain that he used to wear ten years ago, when he was sixteen years old. Still has the same stupid, stupid smirk on his face. The same smirk that made Touya fall in love, and the same smirk that took Touya’s heart with him when he left.
“Missed me, pretty boy?”
“I thought you were dead.”
“Yeah. Me too, for a while.”
“Where the fuck were you, Keigo? How’d you find me?”
Hawks breaths in and slides his fingers through his hair. He looks more mature now. A thin beard covering his chin made him look… Different. Something in the way he acts just tells Touya that wasn’t the same Keigo Takami anymore.
He’s older, taller and stronger now. But that’s not the only thing that changed. His eyes, still golden, still beautiful, but now sharper. Like he could kill Touya just by looking at him. He’s different. Changed.
“I no longer respond to this name. Call me Hawks.”
Touya blinked.
“…Hawks? Like the bird? Hawk?”
“I’m a soldier, Touya. Things have changed. Answering your question, it wasn’t hard to find you. You haven’t changed, Tou. Not a bit. Still goes to the same places, wears the same perfume. Still beautiful.”
Touya choked on his own words.
“Why are you here?”
Hawks shrugged.
“Missed you.”
“Yeah, sure. Missed me so much you didn’t call me once in ten fucking years.”
That could only be a bitter joke. It doesn’t make any sense. Keigo left him.
Ten years ago, Keigo stopped by Touya’s house in the middle of the night. Sneaked into his room by the window, kissed him on the cheek to wake him up. Asked him if he could spend the night. Touya agreed, half asleep. Crawled into Keigo’s chest and sniffed his skin, fingers gripping his hoodie. They were sixteen and stupid. Of course, they were in love, but too afraid to say. That night, Keigo hugged Touya so tightly that he could barely breathe. It was the first - and last - time they kissed.
Things escalated a little too fast, and before they knew it, Hawks' hoodie was sitting on the floor and his mouth was sucking Touya’s neck.
That night, Touya fell asleep in his arms, playing with his hair, a smile decorating his face. They didn’t have sex, but the kissing was almost endless. Keigo kissed Touya’s forehead, smelled his hair, turned his hoodie into a fucking teddy bear that Touya could hug, and left.
That night, he left and didn’t say a word about it. Didn’t left a fucking note.
That night, Keigo left. He went out the window and walked away, For good. Or so he thought.
But now, here he is, ten years later, sitting in front of the boy he left behind the same night as he confessed to love him.
Except Touya’s not a sixteen year old boy anymore. He’s a twenty-six year old man. He grew. His hair, now black, is shorter. Still has the same beautiful bright blue eyes. Keigo wondered what else changed about him.
“I know. I’m sorry. You don’t understand, I had to go.”
“Oh, shut up, Keigo. You could’ve left a fucking note. Or answered one of the billion e-mails I sent you. You just fucking vanished, like you were never here.”
“Hawks.” He said, calmly leaning against the wall. He didn’t even bother to explain himself. Keigo ignored all of the truths Touya told him. Sure, he could've called or emailed. But he didn’t. Instead, he changed his fucking name.
“Are you even listening to me, Keigo? Where the fuck were you? No, honestly. Am I really that bad of a kisser for you to just fucking disappear after kissing me?”
Hawks didn’t laugh at Touya’s joke. His twisted sense of humour has always been more like a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable situations than anything really meant to be funny. It never made Keigo laugh. Instead, he would say that Touya shouldn’t talk about himself in such a terrible way and that there are things that just aren’t meant to be joked about.
He looked Touya deep in the eyes and answered all of his complaints using only one word.
“Hawks.”
Arms crossed over his chest, it was hard to read his face. He was a puzzle Touya couldn’t solve.
“That’s it, I’m leaving. Like you fucking did. You shouldn’t have come, Keigo.”
“I shouldn’t have come? If anything, you shouldn’t have come, babe. I invited you. You’re here because you want to be here. Because you want me to be here.”
“I was curious, Takami. You abandoned me, fucking vanished. And now what? You come back ten years later, saying you wanna see me. I thought you were fucking dead. I needed to check. I deserved this. But you’re just the same selfish little boy you were when we were kids, so yeah, you should just leave me again.”
Keigo huffed. Touya talks too much, projects too much. Maybe it actually was a bad idea to come back. Maybe it was a shitty idea to text him. Maybe all of the dreams he kept having about Touya meant nothing.
Maybe.
Maybe he missed him so much he could ignore all of it. Maybe he craved this moment so much he could lower the barriers he worked on for ten years, seven months, two weeks and four days.
He needed to see Touya. He craved it. He needed to smell his hair one more time. Needed to feel his soft skin, his sweet lips. But more than that, he needed him to just shut the fuck up.
“I missed you. I mean it. If you don’t believe it, fine, I don't need you to. I just wanted to see your face.”
“Oh, fuck you, Keigo.”
He wanted to cry. Wanted to rip his fucking face apart. To run and scream and shout.
He also wanted to kiss that stupid mouth and pull those stupid blonde curls.
So he did.
A bitter and salty taste in his lips when he threw himself into Keigo’s arms. His hands touched the other’s face, neck, back and shoulders in a desperate attempt to check if it was real.
Hawks would be lying if he said he didn’t get caught by surprise. He wanted it, of course. He wanted it so bad he didn’t even mind the salty silent tears running down Touya’s face and wetting their lips. So he grabbed his waist like their lives depended on it.
A desperate, angry kiss. Their tongues dancing a beautiful battle and their hands travelling through each other’s bodies in a constant reminder that they’re actually together, that it’s not a dream this time.
Touya moaned into Keigo’s mouth as he separated the kiss.
“Do you believe me now, pretty boy? Huh?”
“Shut up, Keigo.”
His eyes still closed when he tried to approach for another kiss.
“Hawks. Get it right, love.”
“Shut up.”
He mumbled as he stepped back. They’re in public. It’s not like the other people at the bar cared enough about the two guys kissing, but it didn’t feel right. They needed space, needed to solve way too much shit and a dark bar with a cheap glass of wine sitting on the table wasn’t really the best way to do so.
Keigo realised that when he noticed Touya’s eyes were running from him. His cheeks turned red.
It was funny to see him like this. Like he used to get when they were sixteen. Touya gets so easily flustered and Keigo always loved to play with it.
“We can go back to my motel room. I won’t be staying here for too long and I doubt you want me to set foot in your house.”
“Yeah. I really don’t wanna wake up to an open window and no note again.”
“Jesus, will you ever let it go? I’m starting to regret even inviting you”
Touya laughed. It only took one kiss to make them go back to stage one. Fighting and blaming. Pushing away.
Maybe Keigo was right from the start, maybe he shouldn’t have come back. Maybe he shouldn’t invite Touya. Maybe he should just go back alone to the motel room Touya wouldn’t even dream of affording.
Maybe.
Maybe he should just do it and go to bed. Wake up early the next morning, order a black coffee and an early check out and leave. Go back to his new-old life. Maybe he should just let Touya think it was a dream.
Maybe.
He did not want to do it. He did not want to leave. He specially didn’t want to leave Touya.
He wanted to pull him closer, fall down to his knees and say he was sorry. Beg for forgiveness. Kiss his skin in such a devoted way Touya would never doubt his love for him ever again. He wanted Touya to yell at him, throw things at him, slap and push him, to curse and hate him. He wanted Touya to fall asleep in his arms after telling him to go to hell, like he didn’t have time to do ten years ago.
He wanted to make up for that lost time.
Wanted to taste Touya again. Wanted to lick his body, bite his neck, kiss his lips. Wanted to fuck him. Wanted to fuck him all night long while saying he was never going to leave again. Wanted to see Touya’s eyes stare into his fucking soul while filling him up.
A lot can change in ten years. Their feelings for each other sure did, love turned into resentment really quickly. But the spark was still there. Their hearts are still beating stronger to each other.
Keigo’s cock definitely didn’t forget Touya’s little sad face. Pouty lips, puffy eyes, rosy cheeks and nose when he cries. Didn’t forget how much he loves it. To see him cry.
“Just come with me. Let’s get out of here.”
Keigo grabbed Touya’s arm and pulled him close enough that he couldn’t run away. He couldn’t wait to leave that place. His fingers rushed in and out of his pockets, searching for some cash to leave in the counter and the keys of the car he rented.
Touya didn’t say a word. He had so much to say, yet he didn’t. There was just too much to even think about. He just let himself be led by Hawks. It was a long drive to the motel.
Not because of the distance between the bar and the motel, but because of the distance between Keigo and Touya. They were awfully quiet, Keigo’s eyes on the road, Touya’s eyes everywhere else but looking at Keigo.
It was almost like they were driving to the crime scene where they would fight each other to fucking death.
Keigo left the car first, Touya didn’t even realise he had stopped until he was snapped out of his trance by Keigo opening the door for him. He offered Touya his hand, in a stupid try to make things less awkward. Touya slapped his hand.
“I will go to your room with you, but I'm not spending the night, if that’s what you think. You have a whole fucking lot of explanation to do and I have too many questions.”
“Yeah. I thought so.”
He suddenly didn’t sound so thrilled to have Touya around anymore. Of course he knew sooner or later he would have to talk to him about the past ten years. He owed him this. But did it really have to be tonight? It was inevitable and he knew that. He would have to explain himself. But for tonight, he just wanted to finish what they started at Touya’s childhood room.
He had dreamed about this for a decade. Now that Touya’s actually here, he didn’t want to break his heart again so soon.
“That’s just not how I planned everything to be, Tou. I don’t know what you want me to say. I was kinda hoping we could just be together for tonight.”
Although he didn’t find it funny, Touya laughed.
“So you came back after a decade just to fuck me and abandon me again? Wow. You’re such a gentleman, Keigo.”
“My name is Hawks.”
His fingers gripped stronger around Touya’s wrist. His eyes almost burning in anger as he stared at him. He kept dragging Touya around the building like a fucking doll. Pulled him into the elevator and smashed the buttons.
“You want an explanation? Fine. I’ll give you one. Every time I hear that fucking name I just remember how weak I was. The coward I used to be. I needed to get stronger, I needed to kill Keigo in order for Hawks to be born. I’m not that boy anymore, Todoroki, I’m a man. A soldier. And you will respect me as one.”
His voice sounded deeper. Touya flinched and swallowed the dry air stuck in his throat. Hawks’ hand was still holding his wrist while he opened the door.
He was visibly angry, which was incredibly funny for Touya. He didn’t have the right to be angry. He didn’t have the right to tell Touya what to do. If anything, Touya should be the one dragging him around and walking him like a fucking dog.
But his shock and curiosity were bigger than his urge to yell at him to go to hell. He wanted to see how far his Keigo could go. He craved it.
“I don’t owe you shit, Keigo. You’re gonna have to earn my respect if you wanna be respected.”
Keigo slammed the door behind them. The fancy room didn’t really match their angry, horny, hurt, longing energy.
“What the fuck do you want from me? What do you want me to say?”
“Where the hell have you been, for starters?! Why the fuck did you leave me, what the fuck did I do? I blamed myself for years, Keigo, years! You say so much you’re this soldier, that you’re a man. Act like it, for fuck’s sake.”
“If I tell you where I was, you’re just gonna come after me when I go back there.”
“If you don’t want me to look for you, why did you come back? Why make me remember you if you’re just gonna leave again?”
“Because I can’t die without kissing you one last time. I fucking love you, Touya. Never stopped. But I can’t have you in my life.” Keigo shouted, walking around the room “I just can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both. Tou, please. You know it’s for the better.”
“No, the fuck don’t.” His eyes had turned into a waterfall. He wasn’t loudly crying, sniffing or sobbing, but the tears couldn’t stop falling “And you’re not making it any easier for me to understand. You’re just slurring your words, and I don’t fucking understand.”
“I wanna make you understand, I swear I do. But what I want the most tonight is you. We only have one night, Touya. Let me have you. Please.”
He approached Touya in a more delicate way than before. His hands softly touching the smaller one’s waist, feeling him quiver with one simple touch. So fucking sensible.
His face still wet, still puffy and red. Still beautiful.
Keigo curled himself down to meet Touya’s neck. “I missed you, love.” He whispered, inhaling Touya’s smell. His lips finally encountered Touya’s skin. A soft kiss at first, and it was enough to make him yearn and weaken up. Keigo smirked against the other’s skin as he softly touched his back and shoulders, pulling him closer.
That was exactly what Keigo was expecting. Permission.
The soft touch was turned into a more desperate one. His big hands grabbed Touya’s thin waist, his tongue exploring the pale skin, his teeth marking his territory.
His Touya.
His.
Touya moaned as Keigo grabbed his ass, so firmly that it made him get on his tip toes and throw his head back, eventually making more room for Keigo. He pulled his blonde curls, wanting more of him. Keigo only stepped back to take off his shirt and pull Touya closer again. He lifted Touya and walked with him to the bed, falling on top of him while his mouth was still full of the other's skin.
“God, I missed you, Tou. I really did.”
Touya didn’t even have the time to respond, Keigo’s lips seemed to be magnetically pulled by Touya’s mouth. He kissed him again, like a beast in hunger. Like a vampire needs blood, like he needed air to breathe; he needed Touya.
He longed for him. For ten years, he dreamed about Touya every single day. His smell never left his mind, his voice never left his years, his love never left his heart.
It was only when Keigo realised he was starting to forget Touya’s face that he decided to come back. He remembered his blue eyes, his red hair, but… Something was missing. There wasn’t enough detail. He couldn’t remember where Touya had spots, freckles or scars. Couldn’t remember if his cheeks were round or thin. His face was getting blurry in the dreams, like a distant memory.
Could never forget his ocean eyes, though.
After ten years, Touya’s hair wasn’t even red anymore, for fuck’s sake. He should have never left.
“Did you miss me like I missed you, Tou?”
He asked as his hands slid over Touya’s skin, making him breathe softly.
“Every single day, Kei. I prayed to a God I don’t even believe that you would come back.”
Keigo sighed. Although he wanted so badly to kiss him again, he was annoyed to hear his name come out of Touya’s mouth.
It was not like “Hawks” were his new real name and “Keigo” was a dead name or something. No. Hawks is the name of a soldier. Keigo is the name of a weak boy who leaves the love of his life behind, and he didn’t want to be that kid again.
Deep down, he was still Keigo. Still wanted to be Keigo. Still wanted to sleep in a twin sized mattress so tangled up with Touya that they almost merged together.
“Hawks.” He said firmly as he took Touya’s sweater off without warning “Get it right.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll make you. I’m gonna fuck you and you’re gonna scream my name. You’ll make everyone know you belong to Hawks.”
Touya’s cheeks went red.
“Who told you that?”
“No one needs to tell me shit. I know what’s mine. You Belong to Hawks. You understand that?”
“I used to belong to Keigo Takami.”
Touya’s eyes darkened. He looked at Keigo, dead in the eyes, challenging him.
He was such a fucking brat.
His eyes looked sharper, almost angry. His hands on each side of Keigo’s neck, caressing his skin and ears. His legs wrapped around Keigo’s waist, his pussy wetting the boxers behind jeans as he rubbed himself against Keigo’s crotch.
The only thing that made him shut the fuck up was a strident, shrill slap across his face. Keigo grabbed his face afterwards, making sure to look in his watery eyes.
Touya moaned and bit his lip as Keigo’s hand squeezed his face, cheek still burning and tingling from the slap. Hawks’ free hand runned down Touya’s body, meeting his zippers. He was quick to open them and touch Touya’s pussy over his boxers.
“You’re all wet for me and still can’t say my name? I always knew you were a dumb little slut, just didn’t think you were this slow.” he smirked, thumb gently touching Touya’s bottom lip “Open up.”
Touya obeyed, like the good boy he was. He sucked and licked Keigo’s finger, closing his eyes and trying really hard to move around his hand, wanting more of his touch. Keigo knew that. Knew he wanted to be fucked, knew his clit was swollen and begging for attention.
It’s too bad Touya never gets what he wants, how he wants it.
Keigo abruptly walked away from him, making Touya whine and open his eyes just to watch Hawks taking the rest of his clothes off. His eyes were all over Touya as he slowly walked back to him. He was agile to grab Touya’s thighs and pull him closer, forcing him to open his legs.
“Take ‘em off. I ain’t helping you. Strip.”
His voice sounded… deeper. Touya nodded and obeyed, showing himself.
“You like that?”
He runned his hands over his own body, on his knees over the bed, so wet that his inner thighs looked shiny. Short fingernails showing the way all over his thighs, waist, belly and chest. Keigo stared at his top surgery scars for a moment and wanted to kiss his whole body once again. Touya bit his lip as one hand touched his nipple, and the other one went to meet his clit. He moaned softly, slowly touching himself, circular movements, threatening to reach deeper.
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” Keigo almost yelled. He grabbed Touya by his thighs, making him fall on his back in the bed. Then, grasped his waist and made him turn around, like a fucking doll. “Bend over.”
He ordered, and his little slut obeyed.
Ass up, legs well spread, back arched, cheek laying on the mattress. So fucking wet.
Keigo took his little time to admire him. To see how beautiful he was, begging for his cock to fill him up.
So it did.
Keigo slipped in his wet little hole without warning, grabbing his waist so tight it would leave handprints as he started to fuck him.
Touya screamed, unprepared for how big Keigo was. He smiled as he squeezed Touya’s waist, finally starting to move. Rapid, deep thrusts that made Touya moan and shake. His fingers tightened against the bed sheets, trying to arch his back even more.
Although he tried to call for Keigo’s name, his mouth was full of nonsense. Disconnected words and moaning, biting his lip until he could taste the metallic fluid.
“You like that, huh?”
Keigo asked, but he already knew the answer. Touya desperately nodded, yearning and trying to look at Keigo’s face above his shoulders.
Keigo’s cock filling him up, in and out of his wet little pussy, muting a scream between his teeth every time the blonde gets more violent with his hips. Keigo leaned over him, his lips touching Touya’s jawline, tongue running up his neck and the side of his face until it found his ear lobe.
“Say it.” Touya didn’t seem to understand what he wanted him to say, so he opened his mouth and closed his eyes, overwhelmed by Hawks’ dick. “Say my name.”
“Kei… go…”
Touya said, separating the syllables between his moaning. Suddenly the thrusts became more powerful and Hawks’ hand encountered Touya’s neck, squeezing it and biting his shoulder.
“Call me by my name.”
“Kei… Kei, please. I’m so close, please…”
Keigo wasn’t only horny or missing Touya, he was pissed. That little slut was such a fucking obnoxious brat.
He wasn’t worthy of feeling Keigo’s cum inside him. Wasn’t worthy of come with Keigo’s cock inside him.
So Keigo stopped.
He abruptly stopped and shoved Touya against the bed, turning him over like he was a doll. Touya whimpered and looked up at him like the little fucking whore he was.
“Why’d you stop?! Don’t fucking do this to me!”
“Shut the fuck up and close your legs. You don’t deserve to come for me, fucking slut. You’re gonna have to earn it. Bring your thighs together.”
Touya obeyed, tears filling up his eyes, his cunt still missing Keigo’s presence. Still so wet he could just easily slip it in.
Keigo grabbed his thighs and pushed his cock against them, making sure to be far enough of his clit so Touya couldn’t dryhump it. He squeezed Touya’s cheeks between his hand, making a little pout appear in his mouth.
He fucked Touya’s thighs until he came all over him. Cum leaking over his cheeks, chest and stomach. His clit throbbing, begging to be touched, his holes begging to be filled.
But he hasn’t been the good boy he was supposed to be.
Keigo backed out, running his fingers through his hair to move it away from his sweaty forehead. His blonde hair managed to look a little darker up front, his skin looked shiny and delicious.
“Eat it up.” Keigo ordered, still semi hard, and Touya did as he said.
He licked his fingers until every drop of Keigo’s cum was gone, sticking out his tongue as proof he swallowed everything.
Again, Keigo approached him, touching his cheek in an almost caring way. Touya leaned forward his hand, looking for more contact.
“Please… I’ll be good for you, I swear. I’ll be a perfect boy, I want you, sir, please, please…”
Keigo’s thumb caressed the puffy rosy cheek while Touya begged for him.
“You had your chance. You have to be better than that, prince. On your knees.”
Touya’s legs were shaky when he got up, walking slowly in Hawks’ direction, hands touching the other’s abdomen, he couldn’t stop looking at Keigo. He felt his muscles above his fingers and bit his lip. When did Keigo get so strong?
Touya still seemed to be the same skinny guy he was before. He felt powerless realising how big Hawks really were. And Keigo absolutely loved it.
“Did I say stand there and look stupid? On your fucking knees.”
“Yes, sir.” Touya said, doing exactly what he was told. He put his hands behind his back and patiently waited for another order, looking up at Keigo.
His shiny blue eyes seemed to sparkle at every step Keigo took closer to him. This time, he didn’t even had to order, Touya knew exactly what to do when Keigo grabbed his hair. Touya opened his mouth, tongue sticking out, waiting to receive that cock.
Keigo smiled at this look, approaching him like he was about to devour Touya.
That scene alone was enough to get him hard again. Touya being all his, just waiting to take him like a good little slut. He slapped Touya’s cheek with his cock twice. Softly enough to make him want to be actually slapped again, but showing all of Keigo’s dominance. That’s the kind of power play that gets him off. This is the kind of game that makes him feel actually powerful. Superior, even.
That’s exactly how he likes to feel.
He likes to feel like he’s a fucking god. Like Touya’s worshipping his dick, his body, everything.
It seemed like Touya was finally learning how to be a good, patient boy. Keigo smiled at him, then forced his cock onto his mouth. He sighed softly, feeling Touya’s warmth.
Touya, on the other hand, almost choked. And it was only halfway in. Keigo pushed his hair and kept forcing it in, until his cock touched Touya’s throat and tears runned down his cheeks. Fucking perfect. Keigo’s inflated ego was almost visible in his golden eyes when he finally started moving his hips. He fucked Touya’s mouth and throat, pushing his hair and groaning softly, each time he heard Touya’s wet choking sounds making him go harder, deeper. His eyes sharpened and sparkled when he came inside Touya’s mouth.
Still moving, slowing down and releasing Touya’s hair. His eyes were still red, still watering, tears still running down his face. Beautiful.
He swallowed everything once again and showed Keigo his proof.
“Up.”
He ordered, and once again Touya’s legs were shaking when he got up to approach Keigo. His hands instantly ran to the taller’s chest, begging for a kiss.
“Please, Kei. I’ve been so good for you. Please, I want you again…” he said as he reached for Keigo’s hand, sliding it all the way down his body to touch his pussy “please, I’m so wet for you, I need you”
Hawks smiled, sliding his fingers into Touya’s slippery cunt. His slickness could be like tears running down his thighs, sensitive to a simple touch.
“All that and still can get my name right, baby?” he laughed, slipping two fingers inside Touya “I’ll let you come once you call me by my name. Otherwise, I’ll just creampie you and you’re going home still thirsty, You understand?”
Touya didn’t even get the time to respond, Keigo was so much faster than him, suddenly making feel empty again by removing his fingers. He grabbed Touya’s waist with one hand and his thigh with the other, picking him up in his arms. The proximity between them became so natural that night that being even two steps apart could be weird. They needed that. After ten years, hell, they even deserved that.
Keigo’s mouth seemed to be drawn to Touya’s lips. He didn’t want him to respond to his questions, he wanted to taste him. He just couldn’t get enough of him.
All of those years and his taste still seemed to be stuck in Keigo’s tongue.
He really couldn’t forget Touya, even if he tried.
And, fuck. He really did try.
He was more careful than before when he laid on top of Touya this time. Their hands exploring each other’s bodies, Touya’s legs wrapped around the blonde’s waist, fingers playing with the golden curls. Their intimacies touching each other.
Touya’s cunt was desperate to be filled again, desperate to come. He rubbed himself against Keigo’s tough cock, wetting it with his natural lubrication. A messy, slicky, slippery little pussy begging to be destroyed. Keigo smiled against his lips when he felt Touya moan against his own. He was only threatening to get inside him. Provoking and playing with him.
He knew damn well Touya was so desperate he could cry to be fucked. He knew Touya was so sensible at this point that he could come only by having that cock inside him.
He hadn’t come once since they started. And the control Keigo had over this only made him prouder of himself.
He moved away just enough to stare at Touya’s body. His throbbing clit, his rigid nipples, puffy red lips. His eyes darkened while his smile grew. Strong hands grabbing soft thighs and spreading Touya’s legs, once again going in without warning. Touya screamed and scratched Keigo’s chest, hands moving around his upper body until his fingers tightened around Keigo’s bicep. Tears forming in the corner of his eyes, open mouth and red cheeks.
He wasn’t so patient this time, didn’t wait for Touya to settle in, didn’t wait for him to get used to his size. He slipped in and started moving, abusing Touya’s tight little cunt.
He felt Touya’s walls wrap around him, his warmth feeling so familiar.
He was the best slut Keigo had ever fucked. The best pussy he ever tried.
Touya’s eyes rolled every time he hit the right spot, crying and drooling. Keigo’s hand went to meet his neck.
“Look at me.” he said as he choked him “come on, doll. Look at me.”
That smirk never left his face. Touya struggled to keep his eyes still, biting his lip and tightening his thighs around Keigo’s waist.
“Kei… Please… I’m so close, please…”
“Hawks.” he says, squeezing Touya’s throat with one hand. Touya’s not conscious enough to even bargain, but he won’t settle. Keigo’s other hand grabs Touya’s wrists, making him unable to touch Hawks anywhere.
“Keigo, Keigo. Please.”
His grip tightened around Touya’s neck and wrists, his thrusts became more violent, attacking Touya’s insides.
“If you come, I’ll cut you.” he tosses his words through his fucking teeth, the sound of their bodies colliding echoed across the room. “Open that fucking eyes and call for me. And don’t fucking touch me, you’re not allowed to.”
Although he tried, it was almost fucking impossible to say anything that made sense. His hands grabbing the pillow below his spacy head. The word “Hawks” was the last thing that crossed his mind, he could only think Keigo, Keigo, Keigo.
And each time that name escaped his mouth, he was slapped right across the face. At some point, Keigo also used the back of his hand. Both cheeks burning and tingling, tears running down his face, droll rolling down his chin.
“Say it!” he roared, grabbing Touya’s face. He could tell Touya was fighting for his fucking life trying not to come.
“Humpf… H..Hawks.. Ah!”
It was enough to make Keigo come inside him. His name. Touya’s voice. He filled him up with his hot gooey fluid and let go off his neck, so that Touya could breathe more easily again.
“Hawks, please” he begged, arching his back. Keigo smiled bright and kissed his tears.
“Come for me, baby.”
So he did. He screamed Hawks’ name while he came, rolling his eyes and throwing his head back. But that didn’t stop Keigo. He kept going, he wanted more. He didn’t even slow down. His hands now grabbing Touya’s waist, making his body move with Keigo’s cock like it weighed nothing. Touya’s head seemed to be in outer space by now, calling both his names.
Keigo. Hawks.
The second time Keigo filled him up with cum, Touya squirted. Their mess looked so good together.
Both of them were out of breath, and Touya really looked destroyed. Keigo finally fell on top of him, releasing all of his weight and sinking his face into Touya’s sweaty neck. Their chests going up and down together, hearts racing.
Touya’s eyes went heavy, but they were exactly where they wanted to be. He softly wrapped his arms around Keigo’s shoulders. It felt safe to be trapped below him somehow. The both of them slowly calmed down, but didn’t let go of each other. They weren’t ready for this.
And Touya definitely wasn’t going home that night.
♾️
They stayed like that for what seemed to be forever, not even realising when they fell asleep. Keigo was the first one to wake up, looking around like the last couple hours were some kind of a dream.
The digital clock over the nightstand marked 4:47 in the morning. He carefully got up and covered Touya, silently walking to the bathroom. He didn’t know when Touya would wake up, but there’s what he did know:
Touya was going to wake up hungry as fuck. And Touya was going to shoot him with a million questions about the past once he did.
He hopped in the shower and sighed with relief feeling the hot water running through his body. A quick shower was enough to make him truly wake up and relax his muscles, tense from the poor position they ended up falling asleep in.
Touya was still sleeping while Keigo changed – or so he thought – . He put on some random sweatpants and no shirt, shook his head in a way that made his golden curls look effortlessly magnificent.
That’s when he felt the blue round eyes staring at him, almost burning his back. Keigo laughed softly and turned around to look at him.
“Morning, beautiful. Hungry?”
Touya was always grumpy when he woke up. He sat up and crossed his arms.
“What time is it?”
“Five something. Wanna take a shower while I change these sheets and grab something to eat?”
“Sure.” he was still half asleep, dragged himself yawning to the bathroom and that made Keigo really laugh.
He really missed him.
A simple sight escaped his mouth, a smile decorating his face when he heard the bathroom door lock. He asked for room service to change the bedding and took the key-card with him when he left the room. It was way too early to find breakfast anywhere around the city on a Saturday, but that was one of the little things that making a shit ton of money released him from.
He ordered bagels and iced buns, two coffees, one black and one with two sugars and cream. Exactly what they used to eat before school in cheap coffee places and bakeries ten years ago. He didn’t know if Touya still liked any of those things, if he was still a hopeless sweet tooth, but it was worth the try.
Touya was already clean and curled up in the blankets when Keigo came back. Wet hair, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt that he stole from Keigo’s suitcase ten minutes ago. Keigo couldn’t help but smile at the picture.
He left the food on the nightstand and didn’t say a word while he took off the random shirt he grabbed before walking out the room and washed his hands. He decided to spare his words to answer Touya's questions, because he knew they’d come.
When he finally sat down, Touya seemed uneasy, so he already could tell a long ass conversation was coming closer and closer. They ate in silence. Even though Touya smiled seeing the breakfast that was still such a comfort meal for him. Every sweet bite and sip gave him the hope that they could be together again, only for it to be crushed by the bitter smell of Keigo’s black coffee.
“We need to talk.” he spoke quietly, resting the empty cup on the nightstand.
“Yeah. I’m all ears.”
“Will you ever tell me where you’ve been?”
Keigo sighed to the thought that it had no way back.
“I’ve been all over the world. I settled down in Cancun for a while.”
“Alone?”
“Not really. I didn’t lie when I said I’m a soldier, I really did join the army. Well, military school at first, but I went out in service a lot.”
“So that’s why you left? To join the fucking army?”
“Not only that, Tou. I had to go. The army was a consequence, y’know? One thing led to another. I joined the force a few years back. I became a sergeant two years ago.”
“So the army and the police? Wow.” Touya didn’t really sound too impressed. He sounded… Judgmental. Like he expected anything else but that. “Shouldn’t you be, like, arresting someone now or something? Where do you even live?”
“Miami. I’m Miami metro’s homicide department sergeant. And nope, I’m on vacation. My partner can cover for me.”
Touya stayed quiet for a minute that felt too long.
“Partner?” his voice was shaky. And that made Keigo want to really laugh.
“Partner as in detective partner, love. As in a coworker. I ain’t no cheater.”
Touya laughed bitterly, his blue eyes avoiding the golden ones.
“Yeah, right. It still doesn’t make sense why you had to leave me. No one forced you to go to the army or to become a cop. You chose that.”
“I did it because it was the best thing I was ever gonna get. I couldn’t- I couldn’t come back, Tou. I couldn’t look at you knowing that I hurt you when I left. I thought you would be better off without me.”
“How would I, Kei? You were the best part of my life. You were the only person in my life that loved me for who I truly was. The only one who actually saw me as Touya.”
Keigo wanted to cry.
He always knew that leaving wasn’t going to be easy. He knew Touya’s situation at home, knew his dad was batshit crazy, knew his siblings barely spoke to him, knew his mom was hospitalized. He knew the other kids at school were too cruel to accept a trans kid back in the day.
He knew it all.
Touya also knew Keigo’s situation at home. He knew his mom died when he was young, knew his grandma who raised him was sick, knew his father was an alcoholic that beat the shit out of him whenever he felt like it.
Both of them knew the other had a pretty fucked up household with awful fathers who seemed to hate their guts for some reason.
Although, they didn’t know everything.
Keigo didn’t know all of the times Touya took the blame for his siblings and was beat up for it, didn’t know all the times he took the blame for Keigo at school, didn’t know that he was kicked out of the house by the age of seventeen, didn’t know how he handled that, didn’t know about de sexual abuse, didn’t know about the self harm and the suicide attempt.
And Touya didn’t know that Keigo’s dad threatened to kill him when he found out he had a bisexual son and that was the reason Keigo ran away.
Touya didn’t know that Keigo wrote him letters every single day he was in the army. Didn’t know about the journals he kept back in Cancun hoping that someday Touya would read them. Didn’t know about the fight the night he left, didn’t know about de substance abuse, didn’t know his grandmother died 3 years later, didn’t know all the shit he been through in his service. Didn’t know about the violence that made him become Hawks.
So he talked.
He told his side of the story. Bit by bit, didn’t leave anything behind.
He told Touya about the letters, the threat, the military abuse, the cold nights, the alcohol, the pills.
Told him about his old boyfriends and girlfriends and how he broke up with all of them because they weren’t Touya.
Told him that it would be too hard to see him again, so he avoided it. Told him that Touya didn’t deserve him.
Told him about the men he had killed.
Told him about his father. Told him how the fight got too intense. Told him that the threat wasn’t only made of words, told him how his dad actually tried to kill him.
And told him how he got away.
Told him even how he got rid of the body and how nobody even went looking for him.
Told him that the night they first kissed was the night he first killed.
He couldn’t be there anymore. If someone connected the dots, it would be over for him. So he lied. He called his sick grandmother and ran away to live with her. For a long time, she was the only one that knew the truth.
“You see how I couldn’t be there for you? I had just fucking killed my dad with a beer bottle. I was fucked up, Tou. I couldn’t be in this town.”
His voice, so confident and strong before, now seemed shaky and scared. He didn’t avoid Touya’s eyes, but feared the response they kept. Touya touched his face and he reached for his palm. Soft warm hands cupping his cheek like he was someone who deserved to be held.
He didn’t say a word, but allowed Keigo to keep going.
“It wasn’t easy, Tou. No one knows. Especially not the folks at the station. They can’t know. I came back because the longing was so intense I couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m going back to Miami in a few days for a case. Huge one. I don’t know when or if I’m gonna see you again, but I needed to see your face. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your emails. I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I couldn’t be here and I knew we couldn’t fix this together like we always did. I couldn’t bring you down with me.”
Touya nodded slowly and kissed Keigo’s forehead. He hadn’t felt such a genuine touch in years. He wrapped his arms around Keigo’s neck and laid his head on his shoulder. Hawks could tell he was calculating something to say.
Touya wasn’t always very careful with his words. He’s impulsive and explosive. But he knows how to handle his words when it’s needed.
“I am so sorry you went through that, Kei. I can’t even imagine how hard it was. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” he closed his eyes as he finally felt Keigo hug him back “I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, I just never forgot. I tried to imagine a life without you, I tried to build one, but I couldn’t. I kept seeing you everywhere, every step I took, you were there. I survived all of this years hoping that you would come back and I would scream at you for leaving me. But I forgave you the second I realised you weren’t coming back.”
Keigo sniffed and tightened his arms around Touya’s waist, pulling him to his lap. It wasn’t a malicious touch at all, but he needed to be closer. He needed to know Touya was really there and that it wasn’t just another dream.
“I didn’t mean to leave you. Fuck, Tou, I came back for your birthday for three years straight but couldn’t talk to you. I watched you from a distance just to make sure you were okay and I wanted to die because I knew you weren’t.”
It was the first time in years he let himself cry in front of someone else. The first time he allowed himself to be vulnerable. Touya stroked his back and hair in a comfortable silence that allowed him to cry without being judged.
They didn’t even notice the time pass by until Keigo was calm again.
The clock now marked seven in the morning. They’ve been talking for hours now, but it didn't seem like they talked enough.
They both shared their experiences from the last ten years. Keigo detailed his army experience, showed him pictures and his police badge. Touya described what he had to do to survive after he got kicked out. Told him about his top surgery, about how he was on testosterone for four years now, about how none of his siblings still talked to him.
Told him about how he tried to change himself to fit where he wasn’t loved or welcome multiple times. Told him about all of his shitty ex partners and abusive relationships because he never thought he was good enough or worthy of love.
Told him about the assaults, the harm, the attempt.
They talked for hours on end about everything. It was like finally getting to know each other again and none of them were willing to lose it one more time. They cried, laughed, kissed and wiped each other’s tears. They bonded over the past ten years and for a moment it was like they had been together all along.
Their hearts still belonged to one another, and always would. The Sun was already occupying the room and making Keigo’s skin look like gold and Touya’s eyes like diamonds. Its familiar warmth along with the breeze seemed to be made just for them. Like the whole universe was just waiting for them to reunite.
At some point, the soft pecks turned into an affectionate slow kiss. Touya was still sitting in Keigo’s lap, touching his neck, shoulders and face as their tongues beautifully slowly danced.
Keigo’s hands traveled slowly around Touya’s body, touching his thighs, waist and back. Their skin warm against each other, Touya’s nacked legs and Keigo’s nacked torso completing each other.
Touya sighed softly against Keigo’s lips as he slowly started to move his hips back and forth, rolling against Keigo’s lap. He moaned to Keigo’s firm grip on his thigh.
It was a different kind of grip than before. Still firm, still possessive, but this time it looked… Affectionate. Like they weren’t just going to fuck and leave. Something inside them changed that morning and they both felt it.
“You said something to me last night and I didn’t say it back.”
Keigo arched his eyebrow to Touya’s comment. He thought they were done talking.
“What is it?” he asked, sliding his hands over the other’s body as Touya felt Keigo’s cock growing below him.
“I love you too. Never stopped, never will.”
Keigo smiled and closed his eyes, kissing him again. Their lips and tongues knew exactly what to do in that waltz. Keigo used one arm to lift Touya by his waist, only enough to use his free hand to lower his sweatpants and put his already hard cock inside Touya again. Touya took his time to really get used to Keigo’s presence and size this time, and Keigo didn’t pressure him.
He moaned, cheeks turning red so easily. Keigo kissed his lips and neck, and Touya bit his lip when he finally fit it all in.
“You’re so big, Kei.”
“But you handle me so well, baby.” he smiled, grabbing Touya’s ass cheeks. Touya slowly started moving, his sweet little moans were music to Keigo’s ears.
He rolled his hips, riding Keigo’s cock and bouncing on it. He was still wearing Keigo’s shirt, his smell on the fabric and Keigo’s actual smell right before him worked some kind of magic scent that only turned him on even more.
Words weren’t really necessary. The room was only echoing their sighs and moans and their skins almost melting together. Keigo hugged Touya’s waist and kissed him when they came together, cum filling Touya’s hole once again.
He just loved to be all filled up. Especially when Keigo did it.
Touya only left Keigo’s lap when he felt ready for it, still full, cum running down his thighs.
Keigo smiled when he realised Touya wasn’t getting up to clean himself. Instead, he laid down and waited for Keigo to do the same and hug him. And so he did.
The king sized bed was big enough for them to sleep comfortably in their own personal space, but instead, they were all tangled up right in the middle. Touya’s head on Keigo’s chest, holding hands and exchanging caresses and caring little kisses.
The silence was comfortable and safe, but Touya’s voice made Keigo open his eyes again.
“Take me to Miami with you, Kei. I can’t wait another ten years to see you again. The only thing that kept me from moving away from this town was the hope I’d see you again here.”
The offer sounded promising. Keigo would do anything to finally have Touya again. He was willing to travel to a whole different planet if it meant they could actually be together.
He felt stupid for not coming back earlier. Felt stupid that he even thought Touya wouldn’t understand him.
“God, I fucking love you.”
It wasn’t very clear to Touya at first, but that was a yes. From now on, nothing could ever separate them ever again.