Work Text:
Reputations were important in a volatile environment like S. There were ranks and tiers put in place to provide a loose semblance of structure, but it wasn’t exactly a rule-abiding place. People were made aware of things to expect, groups to steer clear of, and crowds that were safe to mingle in. S was notorious for being rowdy and wild, but it was more important to know which people to interact with or avoid.
Kaoru didn’t care about social structure. He didn’t really need to considering his status as one of the three founders of S. His case was a special one, of course. Omegas didn’t usually hold much power in spaces dominated by alphas. Knowing people and getting a ticket into S was already a challenge for alphas, but for omegas, the process wasn’t as straightforward. Acquiring and building a reputation outside of the S community was crucial first. Only then were they able to properly get a foot in the door.
The ratio of skaters and spectators leaned heavily toward an alpha presence, which was of no surprise to anyone. Two of the founders being alphas themselves did contribute to setting a precedent.
It wasn’t in the plan to have two alphas and one omega in charge of an illegal skateboarding ring. The three of them had first created the group as teenagers back in high school with only two of them having presented. Kaoru was late to learn that he was an omega, and his initial reaction to it was one of worry. He became anxious about not being accepted by the S community, even after having helped build its foundation.
Kojiro and Ainosuke only showed him support in his adversity, and Kaoru slowly gained confidence. He quickly carved a place for himself alongside the other two members, on equal footing where he was regarded with respect.
There were difficulties that he and Kojiro faced, from Ainosuke’s wild skating tactics to him ultimately leaving for America, and Kojiro leaving to study culinary arts in Italy for a few years. Even with the ups and downs, Kaoru and Kojiro were still able to attend S in the present day. They didn’t hesitate to represent the community and show up for events.
Almost a year had passed since Ainosuke made a miraculous appearance out of the blue and arranged a spontaneous tournament of intense paired races. Although he was supposedly in the area, he hadn’t shown up since the end of the tournament. So Kaoru found himself with Kojiro, Hiromi, and three rambunctious teenagers as his usual company.
It wasn’t quite the life Kaoru envisioned, but it had its pleasant moments. He couldn’t be completely upset with how things turned out.
But for Kaoru, there were things he wanted that were simply beyond his control; things he craved but could not acquire no matter how far he reached.
Kojiro was popular—there was no doubt about it. He was charismatic, talented with a board, and nothing short of stunning in the looks department. Kaoru would never mention the last part out loud for fear of it boosting Kojiro’s already-inflated ego beyond repair, but it was still a fact that he begrudgingly accepted. The swarms of excited girls who regularly surrounded Kojiro before and after races only served to annoy Kaoru more.
For as long as Kaoru had known Kojiro, he’d wanted him. He knew from the moment they met in kindergarten that Kojiro would be an important part of his life. They forged a strong friendship that only strengthened over time.
Kaoru’s feelings only intensified when Kojiro presented as an alpha. He hoped and wished that he could be an omega. Even before he knew Kojiro’s interest spanned beyond women alone, Kaoru felt that his only chance of being seen as a potential mate was if he were an omega. On the day he presented, he was overcome with relief. Even with the initial worry regarding his position at S, he found comfort in there being one less obstacle in his way.
But Kojiro never once asked to become anything with Kaoru. He never expressed interest in dating him, never confessed to harboring feelings, and only ever flirted with groups of omega women.
It made Kaoru seethe to see him smiling and laughing with them. But more than anything, it made something heavy settle in the pit of his stomach. There was nobody else Kaoru wanted. But it seemed that Kojiro had his eyes set on other people.
◇ ◇ ◇
For Kaoru, S nights were a mixture of pleasure and stress. It was true that he could unwind and decompress during his time outside of work, lose himself in technique guided by his AI, Carla. It was, however, also an environment filled with fluctuating energy. This was a direct result of the place being run by alpha groups. It wasn’t usually a problem—fights were either taken outside or settled on the dirt track. But with Kaoru being an omega, he was often subject to dips and rises in the pressure exuded by those around him.
It was unavoidable, really. It was just something to expect when skating among a different rank. Kaoru wasn’t so affected that he’d step down. How could he? Many omega attendees looked up to him as a leading example, finding strength and confidence in themselves as a result. His presence alone was enough to deter any alphas from acting out of line.
Kaoru did find it interesting how the alphas left him alone, for the most part. There were times when he was approached by an alpha with questions or suggestions, maybe a proposal to beef with him. Sometimes the woody and musky pheromones from those who spoke with him threatened to overwhelm his senses, and he’d nearly have to excuse himself from the conversation. But before he could, the alpha would notice his discomfort and leave on his own.
Kaoru wouldn’t be inclined to think anything strange about the interactions. But lately, he’d been noticing Kojiro’s presence nearby whenever it happened. He briefly considered that the two might somehow be interconnected within the overall situation.
The very same thing happened again tonight. He met Kojiro’s eyes from across the track, noticing that he’d been talking to a group of girls. Kaoru wasn’t close enough to hear what they were talking about, but there was a noticeable pause in the group’s conversation as Kojiro glanced between Kaoru and the alpha man walking away. His eyes were sharp and unwavering, not leaving the other man until he was fully out of sight. Only then did he turn his attention back to the group of girls.
Kaoru frowned, unable to stop thinking about how strange it all was. Kojiro being near him wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But he was somehow always within Kaoru’s general proximity when alphas approached him. Still, it didn’t happen often enough for Kaoru to get a true reading into the situation. Most alphas steered clear of Kaoru.
He had more important things to worry about, of course. Now that Kaoru had gotten a whiff of the alpha’s scent, it was causing a chain reaction in his senses. Everything felt so much more pronounced, and he was starting to pick up scents from all directions. The strongest one made him wrinkle his nose—something earthy and warm with notes of cinnamon. He thought there might be a hint of salt, like the ocean was nearby.
It made him go a bit weak in his knees, and his body wanted to lean in the direction of that distinct scent. He felt like he’d smelled it somewhere before. It was certainly possible. S was full of aromas ranging from sweet and floral to sharp and musky. Usually, they didn’t affect Kaoru much. He had his ways of dealing with it to ensure that.
With a jolt, Kaoru caught a hold of himself, and he quickly fished his phone out of his pocket to check the date only to realize it was around that time. He slipped away from the track and further from the crowd, finding a deserted spot behind a large rock wall.
His head was throbbing, his thoughts muddling into a haze. It wasn’t too late to stop the onset of his heat though. According to his calendar, it wouldn’t naturally occur until the end of the month, which was a week away. He'd taken two suppressants already; one at the beginning, and one a little over a week ago. It would probably be fine to take his third pill for the month now. Considering the rate at which his body temperature was rising, he figured it was unavoidable.
There was no way around it. He found the small pill bottle in his pocket and shook one into his gloved palm, lowering his mask to place it on his tongue and swallow. He leaned against the wall for stability, waiting for the suppressant to kick in. Ten minutes passed before the scents in his nose dwindled in intensity. His previously warm skin returned to a normal body temperature, and he finally felt like he could breathe properly.
He sighed in relief, pushing off the wall with the intention of returning to the track. But right as he was about to turn the corner, he nearly rammed right into Kojiro. Kaoru stepped back in surprise.
“What are you doing over here?!” Kaoru spluttered. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
The corners of Kojiro’s mouth were turned down, and he had his arms crossed over his chest. His very bare chest, that Kaoru often had trouble looking away from in favor of his eyes. For some reason, it seemed harder to resist than usual, and he swallowed hard as he tried to tear his gaze away. He supposed that the suppressant was still in the midst of slipping into effect.
“Kaoru,” Kojiro started, pausing when he saw Kaoru’s glare upon hearing that name. “Cherry. What were you doing over here?”
“Just getting some fresh air. Am I not allowed to gather some decent oxygen?”
“Cherry. I know that’s not the only reason you came over here. You took another one, didn’t you?”
Kaoru’s shoulders tensed up. He knew he’d been caught, and there was no way to escape Kojiro’s fixation once he was at the center of it.
“What’s it to you? I need them,” Kaoru said.
“Look, we’ve talked about this. I just think you’re taking too many suppressants.”
“And I’ve told you that if I don’t, my symptoms get out of control. One pill might work for other omegas, but the alphas around here stink. And there’s so many of them. I can’t help that they make me flare up.”
Kojiro sighed and closed his eyes. It was a normal thing for Kojiro to express concern for Kaoru, but during the last year, he’d been especially worried over his health. Considering Kaoru’s recent increase in dosage, it wasn’t really a surprise.
Kaoru couldn’t help it. If he wanted to attend S and get all his commissions done in time for his clients, then he had to keep taking them. Mild symptoms tended to slip through his suppressants, but they’d become stronger for Kaoru the more time he spent around a bunch of energized, horny alphas.
That, and he hadn’t allowed his natural heat to occur since his late university days. It had seemed necessary at the time with all the classes, studying, and tests. After getting through it all and earning his degree, he hadn’t exactly wanted to go back to being chained to his bed once a month to wait them out.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Kojiro said, his words coming out slowly and carefully. “Have you thought about... maybe... letting your heat happen? I don’t remember you having one since before I left for Italy. How long has it been?”
“I-It doesn’t matter. I don’t have time for a heat. I have so many things to do. Work. Commissions. Skating. Joe, it’s not realistic.”
Kaoru was also afraid. He was terrified by the mere idea of experiencing his heat. He’d staved it off for so long that he wasn’t sure what to expect. If heats had been intense before, he didn’t want to know how they’d feel now.
He didn’t know if he could handle another week of craving Kojiro’s touch, wanting his hands all over him when he needed him most. It was torturous spending his days huddled inside a nest pathetically using his toys and fingers to get himself off when he wished it was the real thing instead. He wanted Kojiro’s fingers, Kojiro’s mouth, Kojiro’s knot.
But he couldn’t have Kojiro. All he could do was isolate himself in his apartment and let it happen. There were times when he’d had to turn his phone off to avoid slipping into a weak moment and calling Kojiro to come over then and there.
“It matters to me, Kaoru. You matter so much to me,” Kojiro said.
Kaoru gritted his teeth, biting back the reflexive reaction he wanted to have upon hearing his real name. He tried to ignore the way his stomach swooped at Kojiro saying he mattered so much to him. Instead, he focused on what he wanted to say.
“I don’t want to deal with it,” Kaoru said. “This is my decision.”
“I know it is. But I want you to know that I would help you.”
Kaoru’s mind short-circuited. Ideas came rushing in of what he could possibly mean by that statement. Downright filthy images clouded his mind, and he had to blink a few times to clear his vision.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll make sure you’re home when it’s supposed to happen. You’ll be safe. There won’t be any alphas around to bother you. I’ll bring you food every day and make sure you have everything you need. I know you’re worried about facing it because of all the other factors. But I’ll take care of it all to make sure you can get through it as comfortably as possible.”
Kaoru felt himself relax once the implications were cleared. He wasn’t sure whether he felt more relieved or disappointed by Kojiro’s words. Despite his reassurance, Kaoru was still more worried than anything.
“I understand that you mean well. But I can’t let it happen,” Kaoru said. He moved forward to brush past him, pulling his mask back up over his face. “Not now. I can’t do this now.”
He heard Kojiro trying to call him back, but Kaoru didn’t want to talk any more on the subject. Dropping his skateboard down, he stepped onto it and propelled himself forward. He tried to lose himself in the screams of the crowd and the rushes of wind from each skater that raced down the track.
All he could think about, however, was Kojiro’s concerned eyes and promising offer. He wished he could convince himself to consider it.
◇ ◇ ◇
Kaoru stared down at the scattered pages on the table in front of him. His brush was clutched in hand, the smooth bamboo feeling heavier and rougher against his skin by the minute. No matter what he did, nothing was turning out right. He knew what the client wanted, but his fingers just weren’t cooperating.
He sighed and crumpled up yet another failed attempt, tossing it at the wastebasket in the corner. It was already overflowing with balls of paper, and so the new addition merely bounced off the top and onto the floor, rolling away pitifully.
He was seriously considering taking the pot of ink and flinging its contents onto the nearest wall when he heard a bell chime. Someone had entered through the front door. Standing up, he smoothed out the wrinkles in his kimono before moving over to the door and sliding it open, stepping out into the hallway. He made his way into the reception room only to find a familiar face waiting for him.
“Hey there, Cherry,” a boy with spiky red hair said cheerily.
Kaoru let out something that was between a groan and a sigh. Why did nobody ever listen to him?
“I have told you multiple times not to call me Cherry outside of that mountain,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Reki tilted his head to the side and laughed nervously. “Sorry, um, Sakurayashiki-san?”
Kaoru only nodded before lowering himself down onto the round cushion on one side of the long table. Reki seemed to understand, and he sat down on the other side across from him. Kaoru folded his hands together on top of the table.
It was a bit strange to see Reki out and about in the afternoon on a weekday. He was supposed to be in school, but Kaoru figured he snuck out during lunch to come here. While he could lecture him on the importance of his education, he stifled the urge. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done the same thing during his own school days with Kojiro.
“I assume that visiting my studio during business hours means it’s something important?” Kaoru said.
Reki looked off to the side, not answering right away. He offered a brief nod, and Kaoru could clearly see the pink dusting his cheeks.
“I wanted to talk to you. I’m not sure where to start. Um, well, recently I found out... I... I’m an omega. It’s been a few weeks now.”
Kaoru raised his eyebrows. So that was the topic Reki wanted to discuss with him? It wasn’t a major surprise to Kaoru. He’d noticed Reki’s lack of presence at S for the past few weeks, only seeing him for fleeting moments when he swung by the studio or Sia la Luce with Langa and Miya. There had been something off about him, but he’d brushed it aside as something related to teen issues. But he also knew that Reki was late to present, so for him to offer such news wasn’t an incredible shock.
“That’s good news, Reki-kun... this is good news, isn’t it?”
“Yes! Yes, it’s good,” Reki said quickly, waving his hand around as if to dispel Kaoru’s worries. “I was getting kind of anxious waiting. Langa already knew his status, so I was just waiting on mine.”
Kaoru hummed in acknowledgment. He knew that Langa was an alpha, and Miya was still a bit too young for any of that. Reki seemed happy to tell him about his discovery. Still, Kaoru got the feeling that there was something more Reki wanted to ask. He was looking down as he fiddled with the strings on his yellow hoodie.
“I know heats are really mild at first,” Reki said. “But I came here to ask for your advice on what happens when they... set in more. I’m sorry if this is overstepping, and you can tell me to leave if it makes you uncomfortable. I didn’t really know who else to ask.”
“Go ahead. Ask.”
Reki looked up with hopeful eyes. “You don’t mind?”
“You need my help, don’t you? It may seem like I’m cold on the outside, but I do care about you, Reki-kun.”
Reki offered a smile so bright that it would probably rival the sun. He looked elated.
“I knew you liked me deep down.”
“Don’t push your luck, kid. Ask me your questions before I change my mind.”
“Okay. Okay. First, um, what happens during a heat? I guess I didn’t really understand what was going on.”
“Well,” Kaoru said, looking up in thought as he tried to figure out where to begin. “A heat is basically your body signaling that you’re ready to mate. Pheromones are produced, meaning you’ll give off a particular scent. Everyone’s scent is unique. It can be dangerous for us omegas because when our scents are at their strongest during this phase, any alphas nearby will take notice. Your body will also try to... prepare itself. I’m sure you know what that means.”
Reki nodded along to his explanation even despite the bright blush on his cheeks. Then his eyebrows scrunched together.
“So, what am I supposed to do when it happens? I know they told us a bit in school about all this, but I thought it’d be better to ask someone with real life experience.”
Kaoru felt a pang of guilt in his gut. He knew that he wasn’t the best example of an omega who properly dealt with his heats. Rather than facing them head-on, he’d been completely avoiding them for the past four or so years. It wasn’t public knowledge that he regularly used suppressants; it was really only Kojiro who was aware of it. Hiromi probably had his suspicions, but he’d never addressed it with Kaoru.
While suppressants were what worked for Kaoru, he didn’t want to suggest that Reki use them. They weren’t exactly a product recommended for long-term use. Reki was still growing, so he wanted to offer advice that would help him make healthy decisions. Healthier than Kaoru, at least. He thought back to what he used to do in high school and university.
“If you feel the onset of a heat, which includes things like your skin growing warmer, and smells becoming stronger, then you need to isolate yourself as soon as possible,” Kaoru said. “It could last from a few days to a week. So you’ll want to be comfortable. Making a nest before things get too intense is a good idea. Having plenty of water and snacks nearby will help.”
Reki seemed to be taking in all his advice, nodding his head and humming with rapt attention. Kaoru would be grateful if his advice helped Reki, even if it wasn’t something he currently practiced. He only wanted the best for someone so young and just starting out in such a strange, new world.
When he finished offering all the extra details and guidance he could think of, he asked if Reki had any more questions. Reki took a long moment to think, and Kaoru simply waited patiently. Suddenly, shyness crept onto Reki's face, and he started playing with the hem of his sleeve.
“I remember them telling us something in school,” Reki said quietly. “About how a mate can help with the process. N-Not that I’m looking to do any of that. Not now. I was just wondering.”
Kaoru hummed in affirmation. “Yes, a mate is the ideal way to get through a heat. However, you need to be careful about which alpha you allow into your bed. There needs to be trust. I wouldn’t advise choosing on a whim, and especially not with a clouded mind driven by heat. You’re also very young, so it’s not like you need to rush with all of that anyway.”
“Right. Right. I know that. I was just thinking that there could be an alpha I like. Somewhere out there. You know?”
Kaoru narrowed his eyes. He was fully aware that Reki was referring to none other than his blue-haired best friend. Teenagers could be mysterious, but there was nothing more obvious than Reki and Langa’s mutual crushes on one another. It was disgustingly sweet, and Kaoru absolutely wanted the best outcome for them. From the behavior he’d been observing between the two of them, he thought things might work out for them sooner rather than later.
“Yes, of course. Teens and their lovestruck fantasies,” Kaoru mumbled.
Reki laughed and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, a deep blush on his face that matched the color of his hair.
“Ha ha ha. Don’t know what you mean. Well, it must be nice to be able to get through it without much issue. I’m kind of jealous. You make it look so easy.”
His words puzzled Kaoru. He really wasn’t sure what Reki was getting at this time.
“Me? Why would I make it look easy?”
“Huh? Well, you always come to S. Things must work out perfectly for you. You know, considering things.”
“Considering things?” Kaoru said. He couldn’t help continuing to parrot back his words because none of them were computing in his brain.
Reki clasped his hands together with a bewildered look on his face. “Ah! I’m sorry if I overstepped. I know it’s not really my business. I was just thinking about how I hoped someone could take care of me just as well.”
Now that didn’t make an inkling of sense.
“Reki-kun, I’m not sure what on earth you are talking—”
“Shit, shit, shit,” Reki hissed suddenly. He was staring at his phone with a horrified look on his face. “I need to get back to school. Sensei’s gonna kick my ass.”
Reki stood up quickly and started moving toward the front door to put on his sneakers. It was only when he had his skateboard under his arm that he turned around to bow to Kaoru, who had yet to move from his spot at the table.
“Thank you for all your advice, Sakurayashiki-san. Sorry to leave so quickly. This one teacher gets really mad about me being late for his class. I don’t want to get a detention. See you later!”
The bell chimed as Reki swung the door open and raced outside. Kaoru could hear the grating sound of his skateboard wheels rolling over the pavement even after the door was closed. They faded into the distance, and Kaoru was left alone with his thoughts.
He really wasn’t sure what to make of whatever Reki was insinuating toward the end of their conversation. It almost sounded like he believed that Kaoru himself had a mate. He supposed there was some merit to his mistaken assumption. Kaoru’s lifestyle looked effortless on the outside layer. He was never caught out in public under the crippling control of a heat setting in. He was able to make regular appearances to S completely unfazed. To Reki, he must seem to be well cared for.
Unfortunately, he was incorrect in his thinking. Kaoru didn’t have a special person. Or at least his special person wasn’t interested in him that way.
He sighed and stood up, walking in the direction of the kitchen. Reki’s visit had been so abrupt and quick that he hadn’t had a chance to offer him tea. But he could use this opportunity to make some for himself while his mind was still drowning in thoughts.
Opening some drawers and cupboards, he gathered his favorite black teapot and some spoons. As he rifled through the different canisters of tea leaves, his mind drifted to Kojiro. He couldn’t help rolling his eyes, thinking himself predictable. He was always thinking about Kojiro in some way or another. Sometimes it was because he was recalling something annoying the other man had said. Other times, like now, it was more contemplative than anything.
They hadn’t spoken about Kaoru taking his suppressants ever since that day at S a few weeks ago. Kojiro had expressed his concern and suggestion for what Kaoru should do, and Kaoru had simply rejected the idea outright. He was afraid to truly consider the idea, but he’d been thinking about it ever since, nonetheless.
Kojiro was so insistent. He seemed truly worried about Kaoru’s health. But Kaoru was perfectly fine. He was only fine because he was suppressing his heats. This way, he was able to be more productive. How was he supposed to get his work done if he had to take a week off every month to wait things out? How would he skate? He hated having to sit still, confined to a room as he cried from the frustration of it all.
Heats felt so lonely. All he could do was isolate himself as his body screamed at him to submit himself to an alpha, seek relief in Kojiro. But he couldn’t do that. It wasn’t even a possibility.
Kaoru scattered some tea leaves in the hot water and placed the lid on the pot. As he leaned against the counter to wait, Kojiro’s words echoed in his mind. He'd said he would help Kaoru with his heat, that he’d make sure he was at home, safe and fed, free from worry.
‘I’ll take care of it all,’ Kojiro had said.
The offer was beginning to sound tempting. Kaoru wasn’t sure if it was due to his selfish desire to have Kojiro close to him in any way, or if it was simply because of how his body was reacting these days. His symptoms were flaring up more and more even with the intake of suppressants. He suspected that they might be becoming less effective with overuse. That didn’t stop him from wanting to use them. Though he’d decided to reduce it to two pills next month just to see if there was any improvement.
Kojiro’s approach to his ruts was a stark contrast to how Kaoru handled his heats. He didn’t seem to care for using suppressants. He just allowed them to occur naturally every few months, staying home for several days and away from Kaoru. After sending Kaoru a few text messages to let him know he’d be away from the restaurant and S for a bit, Kaoru wouldn’t really hear from him again until it was over.
Kaoru didn’t like to think about what happened during those times. As much as he would like to imagine Kojiro thrusting into a pillow or his own hand, moaning out in pleasure, he didn’t think it was likely. Kojiro always had a woman or two on his arms. He probably invited them over to help get him through it, and the women surely wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to have him.
Kaoru shook his head, trying to get rid of that train of thought. It was no use mulling over things he couldn’t change. What Kojiro did during his ruts wasn’t any of Kaoru’s business.
Kaoru poured himself a cup of tea, blowing it lightly before taking a sip. Once again, he found himself contemplating Kojiro’s offer. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. He was so predictable.
Even knowing that Kojiro wanted to help him, he didn’t like the idea of burdening someone else with his personal issues. So, he simply wouldn’t do it. As long as it was something he could help, he would ensure that there were no issues to push onto Kojiro.
◇ ◇ ◇
A few weeks had passed since Reki’s visit to his calligraphy studio, and the boy himself still hadn’t shown up to S. Kaoru knew it was because he was dealing with the mental and physical transition of his body. Although he wasn’t at a stage for a major heat to start, he was probably experiencing a fluctuation of pheromones that weren’t present before. It was a smart decision for him to stay away from a place swarming with alphas for a while.
Langa did look a little lost without him there, and Kaoru felt pity for him. He was surely aware of what was going on with Reki, and there were many nights where he excused himself from S completely to go visit Reki’s house. Kaoru was glad to see that Reki had someone who cared so deeply for him.
Miya, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care much about their alpha and omega dynamic going on. He was simply there to watch races and participate himself. And although he didn’t show it outwardly, Kaoru could tell that he was frustrated with his friends’ lack of presence lately. The three teens had all grown very close in the past year, so it wouldn’t surprise Kaoru if Miya missed them at least a little bit.
Kaoru sighed as he clutched Carla against his side, watching the large screen above. When did he decide to get so worried over those kids? He had more important matters at the current moment. Like his impending beef that was quickly approaching.
When the last race before his own was nearly finished, he began making his way along the track toward the start line. He spotted Kojiro a little ways from the path talking to some girls. Considering how busy he seemed, Kaoru was intending on passing by without a word. But then Kojiro looked up and noticed him. He said something to the girls and waved before sauntering over to Kaoru to walk alongside him.
“You heading over to your match, Cherry?” Kojiro said.
“Yes. I anticipate this being an easy race. I’ve run all the necessary calculations with Carla beforehand, so there is a 98.5% chance of my success.”
“Where’s the other one and a half percent going?”
“If he turns out to have a trick up his sleeve. This is merely a calculation to assess the probability of different outcomes.”
“You’re talkin’ like a nerd again.”
Kaoru glared over at him, and Kojiro grinned cheekily. He huffed beneath his mask, flipping his pink ponytail back over his shoulder.
“I’ll be sure to win,” Kaoru said. “Just watch me.”
“No problem. You better win, Pinky.”
They separated at the top of the hill. Kaoru waited off to the side for his race to begin, and Kojiro traveled back down along the track, probably to find a good spot beneath one of the screens.
Kaoru closed his eyes and focused on some deep breathing exercises. Strangely enough, he was finding it harder to slip into his calm state that he usually entered right before a race. His heart was beating a bit faster than normal—not so much to be an immediate cause for concern, but it was noticeable enough to be regarded as odd.
He brushed it off as his nerves getting to him. But it didn’t really make sense considering how confident he was with his chances of winning the race. There was no reason to be nervous. And yet, his skin was feeling just a bit too warm, and there was a dull throb in the back of his head.
He was probably just dehydrated or needed some food. After the race, he would convince Kojiro to serve him a plate of carbonara back at Sia la Luce as a sort of post-game celebration. Maybe he’d be able to weasel a few glasses of wine out of him as well. Kojiro constantly complained about his mooching, but he still provided Kaoru with whatever he wanted, nonetheless. He could whine all he wanted, but Kaoru knew he secretly enjoyed feeding him.
Kaoru’s competitor showed up, and they exchanged some provoking words to stir up excitement in the crowd. Then they were kicking off and rolling downhill. Kaoru focused on pulling ahead of the other skater, using Carla’s directions to curve around bends and avoid debris. A quick glance back told him that he was far in the lead, as he couldn’t see him anywhere.
Things seemed to be going well for a bit. Then his headache returned, and it was stronger this time. He shook his head in hopes of staving it off. It didn’t work. Kaoru felt a familiar heat creeping along his neck and shoulders, traveling down his arms and drastically lower. It suddenly felt hard to breathe behind his mask, and he was tempted to pull it down to give himself better access.
His movements were starting to stutter, and he found himself unable to react to Carla’s directions in time. He narrowly avoided colliding with a large boulder, only redirecting his board at the last second. There was a collective cheer from the crowd, but even the typically thunderous roar of voices were starting to sound muffled in his ears.
Kaoru didn’t understand what was going on. He was never this unstable. He usually always had control of his board. His body was refusing to obey him. He felt hot all over, unbearably eager for someone’s touch against his skin—
His eyes widened. No. There was no way he was having his heat. Not right now in the middle of a race.
It didn’t make any sense. Kaoru had taken a suppressant only a week ago at the beginning of the month the way he usually did. He wasn’t planning on taking a second one until closer to the end of it.
He wanted to believe that these were merely the symptoms that occasionally inconvenienced him. But something told him that it wasn’t like before. It wasn’t like the times where he could just take another pill and push his heat away. Right now, it was actually happening in full. And it felt intense. This wasn’t something he could stop.
He pulled the top of his mask down just below his nose and immediately regretted it. Scents from all different directions invaded his nose as he tried to inhale more air. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a figure zooming past, overtaking him easily. Wind whipped past him, further disheveling his hair.
Kaoru couldn’t find it in him to care that he was losing. All he could focus on was his body’s telltale signs of a heat setting in. Throughout it all, he kept the persistent thought at the forefront of his mind that he needed to get out of here. He needed to get home and away from the swarm of alphas all around him.
He tried his best to stick it out until he’d reach the finish line. Stopping halfway would only make everyone suspect that something was wrong. It was hard to know how he must appear onscreen or to any attendees he passed. He just hoped he could keep some semblance of control over his expressions and movements.
With some measure of luck, he ended up crossing the finish line, albeit in last place. But that didn’t matter much to him at the moment. People were cheering from all around, and some leaned in his general direction to offer praises and encouragement. Kaoru’s ears didn’t pick up enough of the words to make sense of them, however, so he simply nodded.
He felt frozen in place, suddenly incredibly fearful. How could he get out of here? What if someone caught a whiff of his scent and tried to haul him off? His body was weak and sensitive, his symptoms only getting worse with the passing time. He tried to focus, tried to think of something he could do, something, something.
A voice in the distance seemed clearer among the rest. It was calling out to him, and Kaoru turned his head toward it. He didn’t see the person at first, and then Kojiro was pushing through the crowd.
“Cherry!” Kojiro said, approaching him as soon as he saw him. “What was that all about? You were going good in the first half—”
When Kojiro got closer, he suddenly stopped and clamped a hand over his nose. He blinked rapidly as his eyebrows knitted together. Kaoru could see the way his eyes glazed over slightly, and he realized that Kojiro had to have picked up on his heightened scent.
Kaoru reached up to lower his mask completely, and then he was able to clearly smell the delicate floral scent wafting around himself. It was a scent his nose usually tuned out, but with his impending heat, it was much stronger.
And Kojiro was clearly affected by it.
Kojiro looked him up and down with obvious concern written on his face. He didn’t get any closer, but he also didn’t back away.
“You’re shaking,” Kojiro said. Kaoru looked down at himself only to confirm that he was struggling to stand properly. His fingers twitched at his sides. “Are you feeling okay?”
Kaoru couldn’t manage to get out more than a mumbled ‘no’ as he shook his head. Kojiro cursed a few times under his breath.
A few people stepped closer, probably to ask if something was wrong or to offer help. But Kojiro straightened up and shot them a wordless glare. The air seemed to shift, and everyone suddenly backed away as if to give them space. Some people left the area completely, but the more curious ones stayed behind, if only from a distance. Nobody dared to approach them.
Kaoru was trying to calm his breathing down when an intense whiff of earthy wood sent his senses surging. It felt like he’d entered a forest of sandalwood, punctuated by the sharp saltiness of a nearby ocean. There were warm undertones of something mildly spicy like cinnamon.
Kaoru would have focused on the distant familiarity of the scent and how pleasant it smelled if it weren’t for its intensity. Just a small sniff made it feel like his nose was filled to the brim, and it quickly overwhelmed his senses. He could tell that Kojiro was slipping into a defensive state, his aroma communicating hostility. As much as he wished he could appreciate Kojiro protecting him, it was causing Kaoru’s anxiety to rise exponentially.
A tiny whine slipped past Kaoru’s lips, and despite how quiet it was, Kojiro heard it immediately and turned to him.
“Kojiro,” Kaoru said, straining to keep his voice level. “I know you mean well, but you have to stop letting out your pheromones like that. It's making me more nervous.”
Kojiro nodded and relaxed his shoulders as he seemingly tried to calm himself down. The strength of his scent reduced considerably, and Kaoru was able to breathe more easily.
“Kaoru, we have to get you out of here,” Kojiro said. He moved forward to gently grab his wrist. Kaoru’s skin burned just a bit hotter where Kojiro touched. “I’m taking you home now. Can you walk?”
“I-I think so.”
Kojiro tugged him forward through the sparse groups of people still hanging around. There were much less of them now as a result of Kojiro’s nonverbal warning. Kaoru still found the whole thing strange. It was true that Kojiro sent out a signal. But that kind of thing wasn’t always a surefire way of keeping other alphas at bay. His pheromones had to have been noticed by at least some of them. He couldn’t help noticing how not a single one even attempted to go near them.
He never wanted to be in a situation like this; he’d avoided his heats for so long for this very reason. But now that it was happening, Kaoru found it incredibly strange that nobody would try anything on an omega in heat. He mentally chalked it up to his reputation at S, being one of the founders.
They were just approaching the entrance where all the bikes and cars were parked when Kaoru felt another intense wave of heat crash over him. It was searing, causing his skin to prickle. He stumbled with his next step uphill, nearly falling if it wasn’t for Kojiro’s firm grip on his arm.
“Kaoru,” Kojiro said, stopping and looking back at him. “Are you okay?”
Hearing his voice laced with something so caring made Kaoru suddenly feel guilty. Kojiro had warned him multiple times to stop taking the suppressants. He’d offered to help him through his heat. His only wish was for Kaoru to make healthy decisions. And now, Kaoru was burdening him with his issues.
“I fucked up, Kojiro. I fucked up,” Kaoru choked out. He felt his eyes start to sting, and he blinked rapidly. “I should’ve listened to you—I’m sorry—”
“Hey. Hey. No, don’t do that,” Kojiro said, quickly shushing him. He placed his hands on either of Kaoru’s shoulders. “You’re not blaming yourself for all this. I’m gonna get you home, and I’ll get you everything you need. You’re gonna be okay, Kaoru.”
“But I—this is my fault. You shouldn’t have to do all this.”
“Kaoru, I told you before that I’d help you. Let me follow through on what I said. We can talk more once I get you home, if you want. But we need to leave now.”
Kojiro’s firm tone left no room for discussion. Kaoru closed his mouth and nodded. He let Kojiro haul him over to his bike before a helmet was placed over his head. They got on the bike, where he was instructed to hold on tight, and then they were driving down the dark road.
The drive seemed to fly by in no time, as Kaoru was too busy fixating on the way his front was pressed to Kojiro’s back to notice the nighttime scenery passing by. Against his more reserved nature, he buried his nose in Kojiro’s jacket and inhaled deeply to get more of that briny, woody scent. He couldn’t really stop once he started, and he became more dazed. It took Kojiro reaching back and shaking him by the arm to jolt him back to the present.
“Kaoru. We’re here,” Kojiro said. “You can let go now.”
“You smell good,” Kaoru mumbled, but he still loosened his arms from around Kojiro.
“O-Oh. Do I? Right, I’m sure you’re picking up a lot right now.”
“Mhm.”
Kojiro helped him off the bike, and they made the trek to Kaoru’s apartment. When they were finally stepping inside and removing their shoes, Kaoru felt relief at being home. But it was a short-lived comfort as he started squirming from a new awkward sensation. His eyes widened in horror as he felt something wet trickling between his thighs beneath his hakama pants. He backed up against the wall, clenching his legs together in some vain attempt to slow down the output of slick. His behavior only gained Kojiro’s attentive concern.
“What’s wrong now?” Kojiro said.
“N-Nothing you should concern yourself with,” Kaoru spluttered. When Kojiro just kept looking at him questioningly, he sighed. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Kaoru, I know this is a lot for you right now. It’s been years since you’ve had a proper heat. You don’t have to tell me everything that’s going on with your body. But I want you to know that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I won’t make fun of you for anything. Now, tell me how I can help. I’ll get you anything you want. Anything you need.”
Kaoru just stared at Kojiro, pressing himself further into the wall as he trembled a bit harder. Now that they were alone and Kojiro’s eyes were set on him with unwavering attention, his body was starting to react more aggressively. It didn’t help that Kojiro was so insistent about helping him. He couldn’t keep asking what Kaoru needed. It was a dangerous thing to offer because the filter on his mouth was slowly disintegrating the further he sank into his heat.
All Kaoru wanted was Kojiro.
He wanted Kojiro’s hands on his body, caressing every smooth plane of bare skin, squeezing around his waist and pressing him down into the mattress. He wanted his breath on his neck, hovering over that scent gland. He wanted Kojiro to fuck him hard and fast.
But he couldn’t ask for any of that. He shouldn’t. They weren’t mates. Kojiro didn’t feel the same way toward him.
“Can you start a bath for me?” Kaoru finally said. “And then while I’m in there, can you gather all the blankets and pillows you can find? I’ll need to put together a nest in my bedroom.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
Kojiro left the room, glancing back at Kaoru as he did so, and went into the bathroom in the hallway. Kaoru closed his eyes and listened to the sound of running water. Several minutes passed before Kojiro poked his head back into the room to tell him the bath was ready.
When he was finally stripping down and stepping into the filled tub, he noticed how nice the warm water felt against his prickling skin. He sat down and leaned against the back of it. His body still refused to calm down, but at least sweat and slick wasn’t sticking to his skin anymore.
Once he felt that he’d soaked long enough, he unplugged the drain to let the water go down. He stood up on shaky legs when it was half empty, bracing himself against the wall. He couldn’t do much in his current state; everything felt like too much effort. But he was at least able to pour some liquid soap into his hands to clean his skin.
He got out of the tub and wrapped a fluffy towel around himself. With a glance toward the counter, he noticed a folded black yukata. It was his most comfortable one, and his favorite to wear to sleep. Had Kojiro chosen randomly from his selection of clothes, or did he really notice which garments he preferred? He unfolded it and slipped it on, trying not to linger on the thought.
He found Kojiro in the kitchen cutting something on the counter. When he moved a bit closer, he could see some fruit slices on a cutting board. Kojiro looked up and noticed him.
“Hey. How are you feeling?” Kojiro said.
“Well, um, slightly more functional. But it’s only going to get worse from here.”
“I know. There’s a bunch of blankets and stuff in your room. You can go set things up how you want, and I’ll bring you some snacks in a bit.”
Kaoru nodded and excused himself to go to his room. He wanted to make sure he could arrange things before he slipped into a daze all over again. And the longer he spent around Kojiro, the more risk there was for that happening.
He found a few stacks of folded blankets and a pile of pillows at the foot of his bed. He set to work laying them out in a way he’d find comfortable. He sat back and looked it over, deciding that it would do, then settled himself into it. A short time passed before Kojiro was knocking on the door, and Kaoru called for him to come in.
Kojiro took one step past the doorway and lurched to a stop. He’d only looked at Kaoru for a second before closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath. Kaoru raised an eyebrow.
“Are you okay?”
Kojiro grunted in approval, opening his eyes as he proceeded forward slowly.
“Mhm. I’m fine,” Kojiro said. He set a bowl of various fruits and a bottle of water on the bedside table. Then he backed away quickly, putting distance between himself and the bed. Kaoru raised another eyebrow.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’m... I’m fine.”
His words came out strained, his sentences broken into short fragments. It wasn’t very convincing, and now Kaoru was becoming the one who was worried.
“Kojiro. Tell me what’s wrong,” Kaoru said.
Kojiro had his back to him as he leaned against the doorway. He audibly inhaled before releasing it into a sigh. Then he turned around to face him properly.
“Kaoru, I’m here to help you. But you also have to understand my position right now. Your scent... it’s going to affect me. I’m trying to keep my composure is all.”
Kaoru’s mouth dropped open, his lips forming a soundless ‘oh.’ That definitely made sense. Kaoru had been so focused on his own body’s desperation that he’d nearly forgotten how everything must be affecting Kojiro.
“Sorry,” Kaoru said simply. He wasn’t really sure what else to say in the moment. Apparently, Kojiro didn’t think it was the appropriate response, as he only shook his head.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“But it is. All of this is.”
“Kaoru, I told you not to—”
“No, let me talk. You said we could talk more once we got here. So, let me. Please.”
Kojiro looked like he wanted to argue but seemed to decide against it. He shuffled around to lean back against the wall, gesturing for Kaoru to continue.
“You told me to stop taking the pills, and I didn’t listen to you,” Kaoru said, staring down at the blankets rather than at Kojiro. “This is only happening because of my irresponsibility. I know I should have stopped using them way earlier. I think my body got too... used to them. They haven't been working all that well for the past few years. I thought taking more would help, but I was clearly wrong. I’m sorry, Kojiro. I should have listened to you.”
Kojiro gave him a sympathetic smile, and it looked as if he wanted to offer him a hug or a gentle touch on the shoulder. But he didn’t move, of course. Kaoru knew he wouldn’t come too close. Ironically, all Kaoru wanted was his touch.
“It’s okay, Kaoru. I’m not mad at you,” Kojiro said. “I’m upset that you’re going through this now. But I’m not upset with you. I want you to know that. I only want to help you.”
Kaoru nodded to show his understanding. He was feeling a bit better now that things were cleared up between them. But the heat was gradually creeping back onto his skin, burning hotter than it had been before. His fingers twitched and curled around the folds of a fleece blanket.
Kojiro stood up a bit straighter, scratching at the back of his head. “Anyway, Kaoru. I think I’ll go home for the night. I’ll make sure to bring you something for breakfast in the morning. Text me if you need anything.”
Something about the way Kojiro walked over to the door sent panic coursing through him, and a switch suddenly flipped on his composure.
“Wait!”
Kojiro stopped in the doorway and regarded him with a puzzled expression.
“Stay,” Kaoru said. “Please, stay.”
“Kaoru, you know I can’t...”
“Why not?” Kaoru said. He searched for a reason, something to convince him. In the end, he only had a simple retort. His voice came out a bit quieter. “I’m scared, Koji. I don’t want to be alone.”
Kojiro looked at him for a long time. He seemed to be going between coming up with an argument against the idea and giving into Kaoru’s wishes. The more Kaoru’s heartbeat quickened, the more he thought he wouldn’t be above begging.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll stay,” Kojiro said. “But I need to take a shower before sleeping. You have some of my clothes somewhere around here, don’t you?”
It was true. They spent so much time at each other’s apartments, sometimes spending the night to the point that they’d exchanged a few items of clothing to each other to keep at their respective places. Of course, they’d never spent the night together during either one of their heats or ruts.
Kaoru pointed at his dresser in the corner of the room. “Bottom drawer.”
Kojiro gladly moved to where he was directed to fish out a shirt and pants from the drawer. Once he found what he needed, he stood up and started unzipping his jacket. Kaoru didn't quite register what he was doing until his bare back muscles were suddenly on full display. Blazing heat took over Kaoru’s face, quickly spreading down his neck. He wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. He didn’t know what was happening.
Kojiro absentmindedly draped his jacket over the back of a nearby chair, then picked up the clean set of clothes. He seemed intent on walking out of the room as if that was a completely normal thing to do around his best friend who was in heat. When he finally glanced over at Kaoru’s likely beet-red face, he faltered to a stop.
“What?” Kojiro said. And the way he sounded genuinely confused sent Kaoru into a frenzy.
“What are you doing!?”
“Going to take a shower?”
“I know that, you stupid gorilla. But why did you take your jacket off? I...”
He trailed off as his eyes drifted lower to settle on Kojiro’s chest. His abs were ridiculous, cut sharply like diamonds. He dragged his gaze across his broad shoulders, pausing on the large sun tattoo on his left shoulder before continuing to the bulges along his arms. Kaoru’s body felt unbearably hot, and he shook his head to continue voicing his opinion.
“You can’t do that in front of me right now.”
Kojiro’s eyes widened as he seemed to finally realize what was bothering Kaoru.
“Oh. Fuck. Sorry. I’m so used to just doing that in front of you. I-I wasn’t thinking. I’ll just get out of here.”
And with that, he disappeared from the room, closing the door behind him. Kaoru released a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Settling back against the bed, he let out a groan, placing a palm against his forehead. He was truly burning up, and the sight of Kojiro’s half-naked body really wasn’t helping. He tried eating some of the fruit from the bowl on his bedside table in hopes it might calm him down.
The minutes ticked on as he listened to the spray of water from down the hallway. All he could focus on was how long Kojiro was taking. Despite him having just left the room, Kaoru wanted him to come back. He was pondering how to distract himself when his gaze fell on Kojiro’s jacket.
After a moment of hesitation, he crawled out of his bed and wandered over to the chair. He curled his hand around the collar, lifting it to his nose and nearly stumbling to the floor when he got a whiff of Kojiro’s potent sandalwood scent. Caught in a bit of a daze, he sauntered back over to his nest with the jacket clutched in hand, placing it on a pillow and laying his head on top.
While the smell sent heat coursing through his body, it also helped to calm him down a bit. It was like having Kojiro close without him actually being there. If he closed his eyes, he could even pretend it was the real thing.
His body ached. He noticed the way his hand twitched, wanting to reach between his thighs to touch himself. But the wild desire scared him more than anything. He was too wound up to do anything in his current state. He whined from the frustration of it all. Why couldn’t he just touch himself? Why did he want to push aside his body’s needs in favor of having Kojiro close instead?
He ended up lying there in misery, thinking about Kojiro in the other room. He wished he would come back quickly. Then there was a knock on his door before it opened.
“Hey, Kaoru. I’m just checking on you before I go sleep on the couch.”
He was looking at Kaoru, then his eyes drifted over and landed on his jacket spread out across the pillow. An odd look crossed his face, but Kaoru was in too much of a daze to decipher it. He did, however, notice the way Kojiro swallowed hard.
Kaoru couldn’t help himself anymore. All he could think about was how good Kojiro’s scent would smell on him compared to a simple piece of clothing. He wanted Kojiro’s touch, his body against his own. He wanted that calming comfort.
“It’s not enough,” Kaoru said quietly. “Come here, Koji.”
Kojiro regarded him with hesitance. He didn’t move from the doorway.
“What are you asking for, Kaoru?” he said carefully.
“I feel strange. I feel hot all over. I c-can't stop shaking. Koji, I’m scared. I don’t wanna be alone. Can you sleep here with me?”
“I’m... not sure if that’s a good idea.”
That sort of answer just wouldn’t do for Kaoru. He hated asking for things. He hated being vulnerable; it made him feel unstable in all the worst ways. But nothing made him feel more precarious than not having Kojiro by his side. He needed him right now. He didn’t care how. He just needed him.
“Koji, please.”
Kaoru’s breath shook as he said it, and it seemed to finally be enough to convince Kojiro. He closed his eyes and sighed. He switched the ceiling light off, leaving the room lit only by the bedside lamp. He closed the door, then slowly moved toward the bed and climbed in next to Kaoru.
Kojiro seemed intent on leaving some space between them, but Kaoru immediately curled into Kojiro’s chest. He heard Kojiro’s sharp inhale, but he only nuzzled further into that warmth he’d been craving. When Kojiro finally placed an arm around him, Kaoru sighed happily. His scent was definitely stronger directly from the source, and it made him a bit dizzy with each breath in. But it did well to calm him down and distract him from the intense waves of heat in his lower body.
Kaoru wanted more, sure, but he thought that he could handle this much without giving in to his body’s hungrier desires. He could convince himself to let Kojiro leave in the morning.
He ended up asking Kojiro to talk to him until he fell asleep. Lacking the energy to engage in conversation himself, he simply wanted to hear Kojiro’s voice. It was a pleasant rumble against his ear, and it did well to distract him from the continuous swell of thoughts in his mind.
His eyelids gradually grew heavier, eventually slipping closed as he drifted off to sleep.
◇ ◇ ◇
When Kaoru woke up, he felt warm all over. The air in the room felt stifling as well. He blinked a few times before opening his eyes, noticing a small sliver of sunlight peeking through the curtains. It was clearly early in the morning, as he could easily see around the room.
He started to stretch out his body, freezing in place when he felt arms curling tighter around his waist. Kojiro’s larger form was pressed flush against Kaoru’s back. That explained why he felt so warm, but it didn’t explain why it felt so hard to breathe. A surge of sandalwood rushed into his nostrils upon his next inhale, and it was so intense that Kaoru was convinced he would choke. He opened his mouth to aid his stuffy nose, and it only demonstrated how shallow his breaths were coming out.
Spicy notes of cinnamon and the sharpness of a sea breeze blended into the overall woody scent. And although Kaoru thought he’d grown used to it from the night before, it was more potent today. Kojiro’s pheromones were spiked, taken up to the highest level.
“Kojiro,” Kaoru said.
Kaoru attempted to twist himself around in Kojiro’s grip, but he paused when he felt something hard pressing against his ass. Kojiro made a rough noise in his throat, pressing his face into the back of Kaoru’s neck and breathing in deeply. He rolled his hips forward once, effectively pressing what Kaoru recognized as his boner against him. It caused Kaoru’s breath to stutter, and when Kojiro repeated the action, he couldn’t stop a whine from slipping past his lips.
This was all too much. Kaoru’s body was screaming at him to let his alpha take, let Kojiro take. He had to put a stop to this before his mind completely glazed over, destroying whatever composure he still had a hold on.
“Kojiro, wake up. Kojiro. Kojiro.”
Kojiro stopped moving and grunted into his neck. His arms loosened a bit, but he didn’t move away from Kaoru.
“Morning, Kaoru,” Kojiro mumbled. “How’d you sleep...”
He trailed off, and Kaoru heard the way he deliberately sniffed a few times. There was a quiet moment before Kojiro started cursing and detaching himself from Kaoru’s back. He sat up quickly and jolted to a stop, groaning as if in pain.
“What’s wrong?” Kaoru said.
“I have to go, Kaoru.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I just can’t be here right now. I shouldn’t be here. This was a bad idea. Fuck. Fuck.”
Kaoru reached out and touched Kojiro’s arm, noticing the way his fingertips burned from it. That only seemed to escalate Kojiro’s emotions. Kojiro yelped, and for once, he pulled away from Kaoru’s gentle touch, causing Kaoru’s eyebrows to rise. This was strange behavior. Kojiro didn’t tend to avoid contact with him without a good reason.
“Please, don’t,” Kojiro said. “I can’t—I don’t think I can handle it.”
“Kojiro. What is going on?”
Kojiro scrambled over the edge of the bed, trying to stand up properly. But even the typically agile Kojiro seemed to be struggling to orient himself. He braced himself with his hands on the mattress, and Kaoru could clearly see the tremble of his muscular arms. His mouth was dropped open as he gasped for breath.
“I think...” Kojiro said, breaking off into a groan that sent a shiver down Kaoru’s spine. “I think your heat triggered my rut. It wasn’t supposed to happen until next month. But... fuck. Staying next to you all night. Pheromones must have gotten to me.”
Kaoru’s eyes widened. It made a lot more sense now—the sudden influx of Kojiro’s pheromones, the searing heat between their skin upon making contact, Kojiro hard against him. Kaoru swallowed when considering the last part. His gaze drifted downward against his own will and caught sight of the considerable bulge in the front of Kojiro’s pants. He couldn’t help the way he sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, quickly glancing back up.
Kojiro was watching him with a glazed look in his mahogany eyes. There was something like wanton desire carved into his irises, which were thin rings around his dilated pupils. He dragged his gaze slowly along the curves of Kaoru’s body. Then he blinked aggressively, shaking his head and looking away.
“I have to go, Kaoru. I can’t stay here.”
He tried to push himself away from the bed, but he only managed to take two steps before stumbling back and grabbing onto the edge for support. He groaned again, the sound of it reverberating in Kaoru’s ears and traveling all the way to his groin. Kaoru squirmed as he felt himself growing harder. He felt slick gathering between his cheeks and dripping down the backs of his thighs.
“Look at the state you’re in,” Kaoru said. “You can’t leave like that.”
“And what should I do instead? I’m a risk to you right now.”
An idea started to form in Kaoru’s disoriented mind—a crazy, foolish, and reckless idea. Greed and craving were quickly taking over his ability to discern good ideas from bad ones. The filter on his mouth was certainly lifting, and he found words coming out before he’d even deemed them ready.
“I don’t feel scared. What if I want you here? What if... I mean... do you really have to leave?”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you could stay. Maybe we could help each other out.”
“Kaoru, what... you’re not making any sense right now.”
Kaoru disagreed. He thought that he was making perfect sense. Kojiro just wasn’t catching on. Kojiro just didn’t understand.
“I’m in heat. And you’re in a rut,” Kaoru said. “Koji, do you really not know what I’m asking of you?”
“Th-That’s your heat talking,” Kojiro said. He was shaking his head slowly even while taking a step closer to the bed. “You don’t really want me to...”
“Who else if not you? You’re the only one I would trust with this.” The corner of Kaoru’s lips dipped down into a frown, and he averted his eyes. “Unless you don’t want to. I won’t make you.”
“I want to.”
Kaoru jerked his head back to look at Kojiro, who had blurted out his response without hesitation. He looked embarrassed for a few seconds before that dazed look took over his face once again. There was a pause. Then Kaoru shifted around onto his hands and knees to crawl toward the foot of the bed, stopping just in front of Kojiro. Kaoru looked up at him, breathing deeply right in his space, and his spiked scent made Kaoru instantly dizzy and frantic.
Remaining on his knees, he straightened his body up to boldly slip his arms around Kojiro’s neck. He tilted his head and fluttered his eyelashes, taking note of the way Kojiro glanced down at his lips and up toward his eyes again. Kaoru leaned forward until their mouths were only an inch apart.
“Fuck me, Kojiro,” Kaoru breathed against his lips.
Kojiro surged forward to slot their lips together seamlessly, bringing one large hand up to cup Kaoru’s face. His thumb pressed into his cheek as he maneuvered his face the opposite way to deepen the kiss. Another hand curled around Kaoru’s hip, squeezing hard and causing Kaoru to gasp. Kojiro took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside, and Kaoru melted instantly in his hold.
He didn’t want to make any more decisions; he simply wanted to let Kojiro take.
Kaoru whimpered—a small, pitiful noise—and it seemed to spark Kojiro’s drive. Cradling the back of Kaoru’s head with his hand, Kojiro pushed him down until he was lying completely on his back. He joined their lips once again, hands roaming Kaoru’s body until they settled into untying his yukata. Once the flaps of fabric slipped down his sides, Kojiro’s hands were caressing and kneading at every inch of bare skin they could find.
Kaoru’s skin burned under Kojiro’s palms in the most pleasant way, and he arched up into his touch. His nipples were prodded and pinched, and it forced a breathy moan from his lips. Kojiro broke the kiss to move his mouth to Kaoru’s neck, sucking a small mark beneath his ear before grazing his teeth down and closer to his scent gland. He pressed his nose firmly against it and inhaled deeply, and Kaoru’s breath stuttered.
“Koji, please,” Kaoru said, giving one roll of his hips upward.
Kojiro didn’t seem to need any explanation. He sat up to quickly yank his shirt up and off over his head. Then he slipped his pants down and shimmied them off his legs. Kaoru’s eyes widened when they landed on Kojiro’s cock, standing hard and flushed and leaking from the tip. He pushed himself up and reached forward to wrap his hand around it, squeezing and stroking it a few times.
“Haah. Mm, Kaoru.”
Kaoru let go to shake his yukata the rest of the way off, grabbing and tossing it toward the end of the bed. Then he shuffled further up and against the pillows. His lower body was throbbing with endless waves of heat coursing through him. It was all he could do to lie back and let his legs fall open as he let out a needy whine.
“Koji, hurry up.”
Kojiro immediately moved closer, placing his hands on either of Kaoru’s thighs, dragging his palms higher before sliding them underneath him. He slipped one finger into the crevice of his ass.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Kojiro murmured. He gently circled his fingertip around his hole, making Kaoru squirm. “Is this all for me?”
Kaoru nodded rapidly. “Yeah. Yeah. Please, Koji. Need you.”
“I’m right here.”
Kojiro slowly pressed one finger inside, but his hesitance was unnecessary as Kaoru’s slick caused it to quickly slip all the way in. He added another almost immediately, and it hardly met any resistance. Kaoru was letting out short gasps and low moans. He started trying to grind down on Kojiro’s fingers, but Kojiro grabbed his hip with his free hand and pinned it down into the mattress.
“Be good and let your alpha take care of you,” Kojiro said gruffly.
Kaoru couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped him. Having Kojiro refer to himself as Kaoru’s sent a rush of pleasure through him. It wasn’t long before Kojiro deemed him ready, removing his four fingers and stroking some of the excess slick along his cock. Kaoru watched him with half-lidded eyes, bidding him to come closer without words.
Unable to wait any longer, Kojiro lined himself up and pushed in slowly. A gush of slick helped ease him further inside, and Kaoru choked out a whine when he was halfway. Kojiro was just so big that Kaoru wasn’t sure how he would fit. But with his mind in a daze, he couldn’t really focus on it enough to care at the moment.
“Such a good omega, taking me so well,” Kojiro said. He grunted as he gave another push to bottom out.
Kaoru writhed underneath him, reaching out to pull Kojiro down by his shoulders and into a searing kiss filled with heat and passion. He sucked Kojiro’s bottom lip between his teeth, biting down hard enough that it made Kojiro pull almost all the way out to snap his hips forward. Kaoru moaned loudly, and Kojiro swallowed the sound as he kissed him deeply. He settled into a harsh pace, drawing out debauched noises from Kaoru all the while.
Kaoru slid his fingers into Kojiro’s hair, tugging hard with each thrust. He felt like he was filled to the brim with Kojiro fucking into him. And this wasn’t even as big as he would get, if Kaoru got what he wanted, of course. He needed to make sure that he would. He tugged Kojiro’s face away from his own, gasping for breath only to inhale more of those woody pheromones. It made him feel high.
“Feels—good—want—more,” Kaoru rasped out.
“How do you want me?” Kojiro said, gazing down at him.
“W-Want your knot.”
“Fuck. Fuck. Okay.”
Kojiro grabbed both sides of his waist, shifting his angle to thrust smoothly into him over and over again. He was breathing harshly above him, and he leaned down to press his forehead to Kaoru’s. His movements stuttered and slowed down, but it was only due to it taking more effort to push himself into Kaoru. His cock had begun to swell at the base, making it a much tighter fit.
Kaoru’s mouth fell further open. He felt stretched beyond his normal capabilities, and he worried that it really might not fit. Of course, his own body surprised him as Kojiro managed to shove his knot all the way inside. Kaoru tensed up, feeling the way he squeezed mercilessly around his cock.
“Knot me. Knot me. Knot me,” Kaoru kept chanting, his voice coming out as a desperate mumble.
Kojiro groaned, choking out Kaoru’s name as he pressed impossibly close. Then there was hot liquid spilling inside Kaoru. They shared a collective sigh, their warm breaths mingling. Kaoru focused on the way Kojiro twitched inside him, the swelling refusing to go down. He knew they would be stuck together for some time.
One of Kojiro's large hands suddenly wrapped around Kaoru’s cock, pumping him as he was yet to come. Kaoru gasped in surprise. Small surges of pleasure washed over him, quickly increasing in intensity. Kojiro was propped up on his other forearm and staring down at him, dilated eyes flitting around his face.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Kojiro said. “Such a good omega. You like my knot filling you up? Fuck, you feel so tight.”
“Mmph. Fuck. Koji. Alpha,” Kaoru whimpered.
The corner of Kojiro’s mouth twitched. “That’s right. Your alpha’s got you.”
Kojiro twisted his hand as he stroked, pausing to squeeze around the base. He repeated this several more times, watching Kaoru’s expression as it contorted. When Kojiro squeezed once more, Kaoru choked out a moan and threw his head back as his cock spasmed in Kojiro’s hand. Come spurted all over his stomach and abs, and he tensed around Kojiro, who grunted in reaction to the tightening sensation.
“So good,” Kojiro said, lowering his head to bury his face in the crook of Kaoru’s neck. He inhaled right on top of his scent gland. “You did so good.”
Kaoru closed his eyes and hummed, calmed by the way the tension was slowly seeping out of his muscles. While he typically complained about Kojiro invading his space, it was all an outward act. He couldn’t let on that this was what he truly craved—Kojiro’s large, warm body on top of his own, weighing him down in a way that helped him feel safe and grounded.
He knew it wouldn’t last forever, of course. Their bodies would separate once the knot went down. His pheromones would neutralize, his body temperature would return to normal, and Kojiro’s scent would lose its intensity. It was only a matter of time.
For now, he could let himself have this.
They lied there for at least half an hour. Kojiro kept his nose against Kaoru’s neck, breathing deeply. Kaoru thought he might have dozed off, and so he busied himself with drawing shapes across Kojiro’s broad back with his fingertips. The tightness below had gone down significantly, but neither of them made any move to separate. Kojiro stirred suddenly, nuzzling his face against Kaoru’s neck. A confused noise sounded in his throat.
“Kaoru, you smell the same,” Kojiro said.
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“I mean... doesn’t a heat usually end once an omega is knotted? I just think it’s strange... your scent is still just as strong as before. And it’s gone down now.”
As if to prove his point, he slowly pulled out his softened cock. Kaoru squirmed at the sensation of come seeping out onto the sheets. He furrowed his eyebrows, sniffing the air around Kojiro only to notice how permeated it still was with the aroma of sandalwood. His skin felt warm to the touch, and his fingers still twitched with the urge to pull Kojiro close again, even as he was pushing himself off and over to lie beside Kaoru instead.
It was true that a knot should end an omega’s heat. It did help to calm Kaoru’s body down by at least a few notches. But so many years had passed since his last proper heat, and it was incredibly intense this time around. Kojiro’s pheromones only seemed to exacerbate the situation, triggering Kaoru’s already-reactive body and making him crave more. Especially since the source of pleasure, the source of another potential knot, was right in front of him.
Kaoru swallowed hard, feeling that daze clouding his mind all over again. Kojiro had a knot, and he wanted it. He didn’t care that he’d just had it, or that he was currently leaking with its spend. His body craved more. Kaoru felt like he was being pulled toward Kojiro in every sense of the concept.
It excited him. It terrified him. But more than anything, it made him feel irrevocable need.
“Yes, it was supposed to end,” Kaoru said. “But I don’t think it’s done. I can tell... I’m still in my heat. And I have a feeling it isn’t going away any time soon. I still feel... wound up.”
“Wound up? How so? Are you feeling okay?”
Kojiro was looking at him with his eyebrows wrinkled in concern. He glanced along the length of his body, clearly fretful over his state. Kaoru found it amusing; Kojiro was searching for issues visually. But the issues he was seeking out weren’t the kind that could be detected by looking at him.
It was innate. Pure instinct was what prompted Kaoru to throw his leg across Kojiro’s lap to straddle him. He looked down at Kojiro’s bewildered expression.
“Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe you need to give me more.” Kaoru lowered his hips to drag his ass along Kojiro’s length, which was currently gaining back its hardness. “You obviously need it, too.”
“Kaoru, wait,” Kojiro said quickly, grabbing onto his waist with both hands to still him. “We should talk about this first.”
“What’s there to talk about? I need a knot, and your body wants to give me one. Am I wrong?”
“No. But that’s not my p—haah. Fuck.”
Kaoru had managed to grind down onto Kojiro’s cock a few times, despite the other man’s hold on him. Kojiro’s hands squeezed tighter around him to stop his movement, and the rough treatment made Kaoru moan softly.
“I just meant—we should figure out how long this is gonna go on,” Kojiro said. “Are you okay with this potentially lasting a few days? Or a week?”
“Are you not?”
“I never said that. I’ll give you everything you want for as long as you need. I just want to help you, Kaoru.”
Kaoru considered the idea. He had absolutely no issue with prolonging this experience. Rather than having Kojiro for only one day—only one session—he could have him for a week. It would be day in and day out of Kojiro pushing him down, holding him close, and fucking him whenever the explosive fire overwhelmed Kaoru’s body.
He thought about how attuned their bodies clearly were to one another. They’d only shared one time together, and it was already evident that there was a connection. Both of them needed this. They just needed to get through their respective heat and rut.
Kaoru also thought about how he was grasping for any reason to keep Kojiro close to him. He thought about how this was more than just his heat talking.
He decided not to think about it.
“It would be for our mutual benefit,” Kaoru said.
“That it would,” Kojiro said with a nod.
“I suppose I would be fine with this arrangement. If it means appeasing our bodies’ needs, then we should give in.”
“Yeah?”
Kaoru hummed in affirmation. He placed his hands on Kojiro’s chest, leaning his head down into his space until their noses were a few inches apart. He glided his hands over Kojiro’s torso before settling them on each nipple and flicking them. Kojiro arched up into his touch with a deep groan.
“Aren’t you gonna give me another knot?” Kaoru whispered, a teasing lilt to his voice.
The hands around Kaoru’s waist tightened, and he suddenly felt himself being flipped around onto his hands and knees. He barely had a chance to gather his bearings before his cheeks were being dragged apart, and then something hot and hard was prodding at his hole. His mouth dropped open into a soundless gasp as Kojiro pushed the tip of his cock inside, large hands holding his hips in place.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Kojiro said, pushing his cock in even further amidst a new gush of slick.
“K-Kojiro.”
Kaoru grabbed the nearest pillow to hug it close—the one with Kojiro’s jacket over it—and buried his face into the smooth material. He choked out a moan as Kojiro thrusted the rest of the way in. Then Kojiro started up a ruthless pace, a smacking sound echoing around the room as his hips moved back and forth.
Somewhere in the back of Kaoru’s mind, he filed away the information that teasing seemed like an effective way of riling Kojiro up. That energy intensified everything—the firmness of Kojiro’s fingers digging into his hips, the speed at which he fucked into Kaoru, the noises it dragged from both of their mouths. It was intoxicating, and Kaoru couldn’t help wanting even more.
“Koji. Koji—ah. I’m your g-good omega, right? Tell me how good I am. Please. Ahh.”
Kojiro groaned, his thrusts unrelenting. He started dragging Kaoru back onto his cock as he simultaneously snapped his hips forward.
“Such a fucking good omega for me,” Kojiro purred. “So pliant and needy. God, you make such pretty noises.”
“Mngh. Yeah? I can make more. Like being l-loud for you.”
As if to back up his own statement, Kaoru let out a string of moans and choked-out curses. It was impossible to hold them back in all honesty. Kojiro’s cock was sliding into him with ease, molding inside him so perfectly. Every slap of Kojiro’s thighs against his ass pushed him further up the bed. He nuzzled his nose into the bunched-up jacket in his hold, inhaling the potent smell of Kojiro’s pheromones. He clenched his fingers around the pillow and shuddered.
He felt Kojiro’s movements stutter. There was some shifting before Kaoru felt Kojiro’s chest being plastered against his back. Kojiro pressed his face into the nape of his neck and inhaled, hips picking up speed once again.
“Fuck, you smell good,” Kojiro said. “Don’t you know what your scent is doing to me?”
‘It’s making you give me exactly what I want,’ Kaoru thought. All he could manage out loud was a moan.
With their bodies pressed close together like this, Kaoru could feel the exact moments when Kojiro would breathe in and out. His muscles contracted and relaxed with each thrust, his biceps flexing against Kaoru’s shoulders from where he held himself up on each side. Every inch of Kojiro’s cock seemed to drag against Kaoru’s walls, bringing him closer and closer to another orgasm.
Kaoru whined as Kojiro’s cock drove in deep, the base of it starting to engorge again. He dug his nails into the mess of blankets, panting out at the burning stretch.
“Noisy little thing, aren’t you?” Kojiro said, nipping the shell of his ear. He slid one of his hands around to Kaoru’s stomach, rubbing across his hot, heaving skin. “Gonna come for me? Feels like it.”
Kaoru merely hissed out Kojiro’s name. Kojiro was now shallowly thrusting into him with his knot almost fully inside. Kojiro chuckled against his ear; it was a harsh, raspy sound.
“I don’t think I even need to touch you this time. You’re doing so good. Go on, Kaoru. Come.”
Something about the way the command was murmured into his ear—full of heated lust and ardor—made Kaoru’s entire body shudder. He found himself tipping over the edge almost instantly, sobbing as he spilled onto the blankets below. Kojiro gave a few more short thrusts before stilling against him, and Kaoru felt more hot liquid filling him.
Kaoru was in too much of a blissful daze to register what happened after that. He'd shut his eyes in response to the overwhelming pleasure, eventually blinking them open to find that he was lying on his side with Kojiro pressed to his back. Kojiro’s swollen cock was still buried inside him, so it must not have been longer than ten minutes.
He let his eyes slip shut again, content to fall asleep like this. His body and bed felt like a mess, but Kojiro would surely clean things up once they separated. For now, he simply basked in their closeness and looked forward to the rest of the week.
◇ ◇ ◇
The next few days went mostly as expected. Kaoru and Kojiro mainly lounged around in bed together until either or both of their pheromones flared up. Then it was a matter of who got whose clothes off the fastest, and that was assuming they were even clothed in the first place. There didn’t seem to be much point in wrapping themselves in layers, so they settled for simple T-shirts and sweatpants for comfort’s sake.
Kaoru begged for Kojiro to take, and Kojiro certainly had no reason to deny him. They quickly fell into a routine, learning each other’s bodies more with each passing day.
Aside from either of them going to the bathroom, Kaoru stayed in his nest, and Kojiro only left the bedroom to venture into the kitchen. He'd decided to order groceries and had them delivered on the second day since Kaoru didn’t have much stocked in his kitchen. Kojiro had briefly scolded him on his lack of food supplies before giving up on getting through to him. He never would anyway. Kaoru wasn’t one for cooking, preferring to collect whatever Kojiro happened to make for him at Sia la Luce.
This occasion was no different, except Kojiro was now cooking for him in his apartment rather than at the restaurant. He brought him dishes of pasta, bread, and fruit on a wooden tray to set up on a table alongside his bed.
The food was good. The food was always good when it came from Kojiro.
Kaoru felt a bit bashful about Kojiro having to cook for him every day. It wasn’t like he didn’t make him do so on a regular basis anyway, but this was different. They were restricted to Kaoru’s home. Having Kojiro cook for him within his own residence felt far more domestic. Eating together with Kojiro’s attention wholly on him, undistracted by everyday chatter from his customers and gaggle of fangirls was a refreshing experience.
Kaoru’s hand curled tighter around one of his blankets when he thought about those girls who tended to hang off Kojiro’s muscled arms. He didn’t like lingering on the visual, but he’d seen it too many times to count, and it was now embedded into his mind whether he liked it or not.
They were always so insistent with Kojiro, batting their eyelashes and looking up at him with sweet smiles. What annoyed Kaoru the most was the fact that Kojiro gave into their flirting every time. Did he even bother sparing so much as a glance Kaoru’s way when he was busy complimenting them?
He stared a hole into those oversized, tanned muscles. They were the main source of all Kaoru’s problems. If Kojiro wasn’t so attractive, and kind, and charismatic... if he didn’t talk to everyone and become such a likeable person...
...if he would just look Kaoru’s way, and only Kaoru’s way...
“Kaoru?” Kojiro said, and his voice seemed to almost seep into Kaoru’s muffled ears. “Kaoru, are you there?”
Kaoru blinked as a hand waved in front of him. He shook his head a bit before settling his attention on Kojiro’s face. The other man was sprawled out at the end of the bed.
“What?”
“I asked you about the food. I was wondering if you don’t like it? You kind of stopped eating for a bit there.”
Kaoru glanced away with a huff, bringing the bread roll to his lips and nibbling at it once again.
“I’m just taking my time. Am I not allowed to savor the food?” Kaoru mumbled.
Kojiro laughed. “Of course you can. I just wanted to make sure it was up to your standards.”
“And if it wasn’t? Would you go and make me something else?”
“Yes,” Kojiro said, a bit too quickly for Kaoru’s already-aching heart to handle. “You’re my... friend. And you’re in heat. I have to make sure your appetite is sated.”
Kaoru tried to ignore the swooping feeling in his stomach, chalking it up to his pheromones acting up. It surely didn’t mean anything for Kojiro to say such things. He was just expressing care toward a friend—his best friend. His childhood friend. That was all they would ever be anyway.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Kojiro said.
Kaoru looked up, then glanced away. It seemed that Kojiro wasn’t going to move on from the strange look he must have noticed on Kaoru’s face earlier. Still, Kaoru couldn’t exactly admit to what he’d been thinking about. A strange bout of passing jealousy wouldn’t fare well in the grand scheme of things. When it had everything to do with how much Kaoru wanted to claim Kojiro as his own, there wasn’t much that could be said without opening a lid on his deeper emotions.
He kept the lid screwed on tight.
“Just thinking about how I’m going to beat your ass into the ground during our next beef,” Kaoru said with a smirk.
Kojiro didn’t respond immediately. It looked like he didn’t believe that it was what Kaoru truly wanted to say. But rather than arguing about it, he simply offered a grin of his own.
“That’s some big talk. Sure you can make it come true?”
“As if there’s any room for doubt. Once I’m on my feet again, you’re going to regret taking me up on my challenge.”
“Right, princess. We’ll see about that.”
In a way, this kind of dynamic brought a sense of normality to the situation. They were always bickering and goading each other. S racing was their highest method of communication. Their provocations mostly served to create excitement rather than indicating any actual hostility. Kaoru basked in it, nonetheless. He appreciated any opportunity to rile Kojiro up.
Of course, the more he bantered with Kojiro, the closer he wanted to get to him. It was inevitable for that heat to take over his body again—the heat that had become so familiar to him over the past few days. His eyelids drooped a bit, and he felt almost high on his spiked pheromones. He placed the bowl of fruit he’d been holding down onto the table, swallowing hard as he looked at Kojiro.
Kojiro was in the middle of talking about something related to his workplace. Kaoru had been listening; he really had. But with the pleasant prickle that left goosebumps across his skin, and his breaths becoming harder to keep steady, he quickly lost his attention toward whatever story was being told.
“Koji,” Kaoru said under his breath. It made Kojiro’s sentence stutter to a stop. “Need you. Now.”
Kojiro sniffed a few times, likely picking up his potent scent, and then his pupils were slowly dilating. He crawled closer to Kaoru and slipped a hand around his lower back, dipping his face into the crook of his neck to inhale deeply.
“Fuck. What was it this time?”
“Your dumb voice, maybe. You never stop talking.”
“Do you want me to?” Kojiro said with a laugh.
“No. God, no. Keep talking.”
Kojiro pushed Kaoru down into the blankets, stretching his massive body out on top of him. He started pressing kisses all over his face and down his neck, pausing on his scent gland to inhale more.
“Want me to tell you how good you are, hm? That you’re a perfect omega for me?”
Kaoru moaned as Kojiro began sucking a mark into his collarbone. He arched his back to press his hips into Kojiro’s, and it created friction between their hardening cocks.
“Yes. Yes. P-Please,” Kaoru said.
“So polite. Good boy.”
Kaoru felt the tension throughout his body winding him up beyond belief. Of course, he didn’t have to worry about dealing with it because he wasn’t alone. Kojiro was right there with him, more or less experiencing the same thing.
Kaoru knew that everything would be situated accordingly. He knew that Kojiro would take care of him.
◇ ◇ ◇
They were doing this for their mutual benefit. It was just supposed to help them get through their heat and rut. That was what Kaoru told himself. Since the beginning, that was how they’d defined this whole charade. They’d agreed upon it being a temporary arrangement between two friends. Nothing more and nothing less than appeasing their instinctual needs.
There weren’t supposed to be any deeper emotions held within. If that was the case, then why was Kaoru thinking of things beyond simple urges? Why was his body being placated not enough? He didn’t feel calmer upon receiving a knot. On the contrary, he craved it more.
More than that, he craved Kojiro. Despite his understanding of their spontaneous arrangement, he wanted more with Kojiro.
It was something he’d been aware of for a long time; his feelings stretched some several years back. But over the course of the past week, it had risen to the surface with greater insistence. There was something about having Kojiro’s hands caressing every inch of his bare skin, his attentive eyes on him, his warm breath fanning his neck, and his overall closeness that made Kaoru’s chest burn.
The longer things went on, the more guilt settled in. This was only happening because Kaoru refused to allow his heats to occur naturally. Abusing his suppressants led to them becoming less effective, springing his heat upon himself, and subsequently onto Kojiro as well. If he hadn’t begged Kojiro to spend that first night with him, they wouldn’t be in this mess.
But Kaoru hadn’t wanted to be alone. Years had passed since his last heat, and he’d been scared. What else should he have done when a source of comfort was nearby?
Then again, Kojiro didn’t belong to Kaoru. He had his girls who fawned over him, and he didn’t settle down with any one person. Kaoru couldn’t keep him all to himself. It was just something he had to accept.
Kaoru thought he was doing a good job of hiding his unease over the whole thing. He just needed to hold out a bit more until his heat came to an end. Surely, it had to be approaching soon. An entire week had passed, and Kojiro did all that he could to satisfy him. It seemed like Kaoru’s pheromones were starting to return to a more neutral state, though they weren’t quite there yet.
However, now that his nerves were getting to him, Kaoru thought he could get away with not asking Kojiro to gratify him as often. His body still craved a knot, but Kaoru thought he could let them both relax until the energy tapered off on its own the rest of the way.
Kojiro noticed, of course. He always noticed when something was off with Kaoru.
“Are you feeling alright?”
Kaoru looked up from his phone when Kojiro asked the question one evening. He tried not to look as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. Truthfully, he’d been trying to distract himself from the pooling heat in his gut.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kaoru said. “Why?”
Kojiro placed his own phone face down on the bed, having just been watching a video himself. Something seemed to have made him shift his attention to Kaoru.
“You haven’t been as... worked up lately. I was just wondering if you needed anything.”
‘From me,’ was implied, though Kojiro didn’t say it. Kaoru swallowed hard, trying to keep his expression indifferent. If Kaoru was offered something in his current state, it would become increasingly difficult to stop himself from giving in. He struggled not to squirm under Kojiro’s watchful gaze.
“I just haven’t been feeling much of an urge. Maybe it’s almost over.”
It didn’t seem to convince Kojiro, who frowned at him and leaned into his space.
“I can smell it on you, Kaoru. You don’t think I’d miss it after this whole week, did you?”
When Kojiro got even closer, trying to lower his nose into the crook of Kaoru’s neck, Kaoru hurriedly threw his arm out and splayed his palm on Kojiro’s chest to keep him back. His own action surprised even himself, and he saw that shock reflected on Kojiro’s face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kojiro said. He pulled away, nonetheless, and the look of dejection that flashed across his features hurt Kaoru for some reason. “I won’t make you do anything if you’re not feeling up to it.”
“I was just thinking—you know—maybe we don’t need to do this anymore,” Kaoru said, stumbling over his words and waving his hands around.
Kojiro’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What don’t you want to do anymore?”
“What we’ve been doing. Th-The kissing, and fucking, and... knotting. Isn’t this enough? Hasn’t this been enough?”
Kaoru was no longer looking at Kojiro, his eyes darting around the room instead, searching for a means of distraction. His mind went a bit blank when he looked down and found Kojiro’s jacket within his nest of clothes and blankets. For a fleeting moment, he felt the urge to grab it and press the fabric against his nose to inhale the heady scent permeating it. He resisted at the last second, nibbling on his lower lip to alleviate some of his tension.
“Hey, Kaoru,” Kojiro said softly. “Where is all of this coming from? I thought you were okay with this.”
“I was. I am. I just... I don’t think...”
He still refused to look up, choosing to stare down at the black-and-blue jacket instead. Then a soft finger was trailing along his jaw and pausing underneath his chin. His face was tilted higher, and Kaoru found himself looking into Kojiro’s probing eyes.
“Talk to me, Kaoru.”
The tender contact sent another wave of heat throughout Kaoru’s body, and he realized just how sensitive he was still feeling. He wanted to give in. He needed Kojiro. But he couldn’t. It had to stop at some point. Even while his body screamed at him to let Kojiro take, he couldn’t allow himself to slip.
“You c-can't touch me right now,” Kaoru said, his voice shaking with his harsh breaths. “It’s making me want... I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because I don’t deserve it.”
Kaoru had planned on pushing Kojiro away, but he only leaned further into his touch, nuzzling his cheek into his palm as his eyes fluttered. Words were tumbling out of his mouth without him being able to consider them first. His mind was turning hazy.
“What do you mean?” Kojiro said. “Why wouldn’t you deserve this?”
“You’re too good, Koji. You’ve done so much for me already. It feels like I’m taking advantage of you.”
Kojiro raised an eyebrow. He brushed his thumb over Kaoru’s cheekbone and let out a hum.
“I think you’re overthinking this,” Kojiro said. “You’ve been helping me, too. We agreed to help each other.”
“I feel guilty.”
“Why would you feel guilty?”
“Because this isn’t just about my heat or your rut,” Kaoru said. He knew he should bite back his words, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate with his brain. “I like you a lot. Too much. Fuck, I—I love you.”
The air seemed to still between them. Kojiro’s thumb stopped stroking his cheek, and he stared at him with wide eyes. Kaoru had gone equally as rigid. Had he really just said that? Out loud?
He stopped pressing his face into Kojiro’s hand, and he slowly began pulling out of Kojiro’s space with the intention of curling up in his nest to make himself as small as possible. But Kojiro snapped out of it, grabbing onto each of his shoulders to keep him in place. He glanced between Kaoru’s eyes as if he was searching for something.
“Do you mean that?”
“What does it matter if I do? You don’t feel the same way.” Kaoru paused, swiping his tongue between his lips. He figured there was no going back, and it was impossible to hold himself back from spilling everything anyway. “You say I’ve been helping you, but I’m sure you’re used to that. I mean, all those girls you’re always with...”
“What about them? Kaoru, what are you thinking right now?”
“Surely, they help you out during your ruts. I don’t think I need to elaborate. You know what I mean.”
Kojiro rubbed at his face and let out a long sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke. “I’m not involved with any of them. Or at least I haven’t been for a while. They just like attention, and I see no reason not to be nice.”
Now that surprised Kaoru, and he couldn’t help it from showing on his face. Maybe it came across more as disbelief than anything because Kojiro narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t an accusatory look; rather, it was earnest.
“I’m serious,” Kojiro said. “I’m not interested in them like that. I haven’t been for a long time because... well, my interest lies elsewhere.”
“Oh? And where would that be?”
Kojiro didn’t answer right away. The corners of his lips turned downward, and he glanced off to the side. He brought one of his hands to the back of his neck, combing and twisting his fingers through his loose hair. There was a rosy tint across his cheeks, and Kaoru could recognize the faint embarrassment in his expression.
“Haven’t you noticed that most of the alphas at S leave you alone?” Kojiro said. “Well, there’s a reason for that. It’s more than just you being a founder of the place. You’re important there, yeah. But I also make sure they... know their place.”
Kaoru cocked his head to the side, intrigued by this information. He was curious about what that meant exactly.
“How do you do that?”
“They kind of... well, most people at S kind of believe we’re a thing.”
“They... what?”
It didn’t make sense to Kaoru. None of what Kojiro was saying was computing in his brain. He and Kojiro weren’t together. This was the first he was hearing of other people believing that they shared something beyond friendship.
“I’ve been sending out signals to keep other alphas from bothering you,” Kojiro said. “I thought it might keep you from being harassed by them. Then people started asking if we were mates. And I... I didn’t deny it. If anyone’s feeling guilty, it should be me. I’m the one who was spreading lies about us. But... I love you, Kaoru. I’ve always felt this way toward you. I guess I got a little carried away with it.”
Kaoru’s heart thumped loudly in his ears, and he was almost convinced he’d heard wrong. But Kojiro was looking at him with such sincerity, his eyes a bit expectant, and Kaoru was sure that he’d spoken and meant every word.
Suddenly, Kaoru remembered the conversation he had with Reki when he visited his calligraphy studio several weeks ago. The implication toward the end right as he was leaving—that Kaoru must have a mate who treats him well—it now clicked in his mind. He internally groaned at the notion that everyone thought they were together already. Even the kids had somehow been roped into the rumor.
Still, he couldn’t focus on that right now. He could berate Kojiro later for letting the kids believe the covert gossip. For now, however, he simply wanted to make things clear between them.
“You dumb gorilla,” Kaoru said with a huff. “Did you think I was going to reject you? I already confessed to you first. You already know how I feel.”
“Well, I just thought... maybe it could be the heat talking.” Kojiro shook his head, as if he was trying to regain some level of focus. “Kaoru, you love me?”
“D-Did I not say so earlier? Always so needy. Do you need to hear it said again or something?”
Kojiro bravely slid himself a bit closer, settling one hand around Kaoru’s waist and using the other to tuck a strand of pink hair behind his ear. The intimate action made Kaoru meet his eyes.
“I’d like that,” Kojiro said, and he sounded so genuine that it made Kaoru’s chest ache. “I’d really like to hear you say it again.”
Kaoru could ignore his request. He could push him away and scoff, maybe even roll his eyes. It wouldn’t be out of character for him to avoid displaying vulnerability. But the way Kojiro was looking at him with nothing less than reverent infatuation made him pause. He didn’t speak or move, simply waiting patiently for Kaoru to react. There was no expectation in his silent gaze. He looked content to remain that way whether Kaoru gave him what he craved or not.
“Love you,” Kaoru finally murmured after some time. Kojiro’s eyes fluttered, and the corners of his mouth tugged a bit higher. It filled Kaoru with a surge of confidence, and he spoke up. “I love you, Koji.”
“I love you, too, Kaoru,” Kojiro said, and he was smiling widely now, showing off his teeth. It made Kaoru’s heart beat quicker. That bright expression being directed toward Kaoru was threatening to burn him up from the inside.
“You’re so overwhelming,” Kaoru said. He placed his trembling hands on either of Kojiro’s shoulders, nonetheless.
“Oh? Am I too much for you?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Kojiro cupped his face with both hands and leaned in to press their lips together. They slipped into a steady rhythm, angling their faces to the opposite side every now and then. Kojiro kept rubbing small circles into his cheeks with his thumbs. Everything finally felt right.
Kaoru’s mind drifted to earlier when Kojiro admitted to letting people think they were together. It was embarrassing how much Kaoru relished the idea of being viewed as belonging to Kojiro. He certainly wanted to be Kojiro’s. His mind turned even hazier, drunk off the mere idea alone. It stoked something in him, causing him to arch his body even closer, and he let his fingertips dance along the collar of Kojiro’s shirt.
“Take it off,” Kaoru said between kisses.
Kojiro laughed, clearly amused. “Thought you didn’t want anything.”
“Don’t pull that shit with me. If you don’t fuck me right n—oh. A-Ah, Koji. Right there.”
Kojiro had decided to attach his lips to Kaoru’s neck, sucking and nipping at the delicate skin. Kaoru let his head tip back, and he brought a hand up to thread his fingers through Kojiro’s soft green hair. It was when his lips traveled a bit lower and hovered over his scent gland that a thought started forming in his clouded mind. The sensation of Kojiro’s nose nudging the sensitive area of skin drove him to voice it.
“You should make me truly yours.”
Kojiro hummed inquisitively. “And how should I do that?”
“Mark me properly.”
That made Kojiro pull his head away to look at Kaoru’s face. He looked stunned, his eyes unblinking and mouth gaping a bit dumbly. He seemed to come back to himself as he cleared his throat.
“You mean you want me to...”
“Claim me. Yes.”
“Kaoru, are you absolutely sure? We don’t have to rush into anything. I don’t want you to do something you might regret later on.”
Kaoru thought the idea of him not wanting Kojiro in every way, shape, and form was absurd. So, of course, it made no sense to him for Kojiro to suggest not going through with the idea.
“I made up my mind about you a long time ago,” Kaoru said. “I want to be yours, Kojiro. I want you as mine. Unless you’re having doubts—”
“I’m not!” Kojiro said quickly. “Of course I’m not. I just want us both to be sure. I’m more than happy to take care of you for as long as you need, just the way we have been. But if you really want me to mark you, I will.”
Kaoru smiled, reaching out to brush Kojiro’s bangs from his eyes. It warmed his heart to hear that Kojiro was taking things into serious consideration. He really wasn't the type to make these types of decisions lightly, and Kaoru appreciated it. Kaoru slid his hand over his cheek and down his neck, settling it at the crook. He looked at his neck thoughtfully.
“I’ll be marking you back, just for the record.” He slipped the tip of his index finger under the neckline of his shirt. “I thought I told you to take this off.”
Kojiro groaned, and the low sound shot straight to Kaoru’s cock. His pants had already been growing tighter with each passing minute, but now he could feel himself throbbing. Once Kojiro peeled his shirt off to reveal those irresistible abs, Kaoru’s hands were already automatically pulling his own pants and underwear off. Kojiro watched him as he removed his shirt as well, and he chuckled as Kaoru moved closer to finger at Kojiro's waistband.
“What?” Kaoru huffed.
“Someone’s eager. Do you want my clothes off that badly?”
“I want your clothes off so you can fuck me.”
Kaoru leaned forward to nuzzle his face into Kojiro’s neck, inhaling that warm sandalwood scent directly from the source. He shuddered as a particularly strong wave of heat coursed through him, wetness starting to trickle down his legs. He found himself slipping a hand between Kojiro’s thighs to find and squeeze his cock. It forced a wheeze out of Kojiro, and Kaoru nudged his nose against his ear to exhale into it.
“Give me my knot, Koji.”
Kojiro didn’t say a word, merely hooking his fingers into the waistband of his pants and underwear to slip them down his legs. He tossed them onto the floor with the rest of their discarded clothes before closing the distance between them with a searing kiss. He quickly pressed Kaoru down onto the mattress, biting his bottom lip and soothing it with a swipe of his tongue.
Kaoru moaned into the kiss as their hips rolled together to create a delicious friction. They’d been fucking nonstop all week, but there was still something more frantic this time around. It seemed harder for either of them to keep their hands off each other, lips breaking apart to gasp in rushed breaths, teeth clacking in their haste to press together again. Kojiro’s cock was hot and hard where it pressed into Kaoru’s hip.
Kojiro’s hand slipped between them, drifting down Kaoru’s stomach and grazing the side of his cock. When Kaoru whimpered at the contact, Kojiro paused to wrap his hand around the base, squeezing and giving it a few upward strokes.
“Fuck, yes,” Kaoru sighed.
Kojiro pumped him a few more times before letting his hand travel lower to slip between his cheeks. He gathered some of the slick that was present onto his fingers and circled one around his hole.
“So wet,” Kojiro said, pushing one of Kaoru’s thighs higher with his free hand. He shifted around to find a good angle. “You gonna open up nicely for me, baby?”
The use of the new nickname tugged a whine from Kaoru. He nodded fervently. Kojiro started pushing his finger in, slowly dragging it in and out. It didn’t take long before he was adding another, twisting them around to stretch him further.
Kaoru was panting by the time Kojiro was four fingers deep, and he gave two more smooth pushes before removing them altogether. He grabbed the base of his cock and dragged it between his cheeks, coating it with slick. He groaned and pushed it along his crack without penetrating him, seeming to find pleasure in the stimulation. Kaoru, however, was far past the point of impatience.
“Inside. Now,” Kaoru said.
Kojiro grinned as he lined himself up. He pushed in slowly, and his smile faded as his mouth fell open to release a shaky exhale. Kaoru grabbed onto Kojiro’s biceps, squeezing the muscles as he felt his cock pressing inside inch by inch. Even with the amount of prior stretching and slick, it was never quite enough to prepare him for the size of Kojiro. He felt filled to the brim when Kojiro was fully sheathed inside him, and he knew to expect an additional burning swell once his knot formed.
It would be worth it. Kojiro’s knotting always helped ease the unbearable tension in his body.
Kojiro lowered himself until he was supported on his forearms, and he busied himself with pressing soft kisses into Kaoru’s neck. He was holding still as he waited for Kaoru to adjust and instruct him to move. Kaoru hummed happily as he basked in the attention his neck was receiving. When Kojiro prodded his nose into his scent gland, it made Kaoru’s eyes flutter and his breath catch.
He wanted it.
He wanted that bonding mark so badly.
It was the soft and subtle hint of teeth grazing the sensitive spot that tipped him over the edge.
“Koji, please. Hurry up and knot me,” Kaoru said. He blindly grabbed for Kojiro’s hips, trying to get him to move.
Kojiro didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled nearly all the way out before thrusting back in, and it dragged a simultaneous moan from them. Things quickly increased to a fast pace, as it seemed like both of them were proceeding with a mutual goal in mind. The repeated slapping of Kojiro’s hips against his ass rang in Kaoru’s ears. There wasn’t much Kaoru could do besides lie there and let Kojiro take. He was perfectly fine with this dynamic, of course.
Kaoru kept his eyes on Kojiro’s face, watching the way it contorted with pleasure. His attention was clearly set on propelling their bodies to that finish line. He didn’t even seem to notice Kaoru moving one of his hands between them to stroke himself. The dual stimulation dragged strained moans from Kaoru's mouth, and that only served to make Kojiro thrust harder.
“Sound so pretty,” Kojiro said with hooded eyes. “You’re so good for me. Gonna come?”
Kaoru could only grip tighter around himself as he nodded. It only took a few more pumps before he was spilling over his hand and stomach. Kojiro slowed down just a bit, praising him as he fucked him through his high. Kaoru clenched around him, causing Kojiro’s hips to stutter, but he resumed a quicker pace after a short moment.
“Hold on just a bit longer. I’m almost there,” Kojiro said. “Gonna make you mine, Kaoru.”
“Yes. Yes. Want that. Wanna—ahh—be yours. Tell everyone you’re mine.”
Soon enough, Kaoru felt the telltale expansion of Kojiro’s cock, indicating that he was nearing his climax. Even as Kojiro’s hips continued to snap forward, he kept his face in Kaoru’s neck, warm breath fanning against his scent gland with each exhale. With a bit of skillful maneuvering, he managed to drive his knot all the way in. The stretch stung a bit, and Kaoru clawed at Kojiro’s back with a hiss.
“Come on. Make me yours,” Kaoru said.
Kaoru couldn’t help it in his aroused state—he started begging Kojiro to knot him, mark him, claim him. Rushed murmurs and shaky pleas were tumbling past his lips, unbidden and shameless.
Kojiro’s breaths turned harsher, and his teeth began grazing his scent gland experimentally. He angled his head a few different ways before finally settling on one. He mumbled an apology before digging his teeth into his neck, causing Kaoru to jolt and yelp. Although he’d been expecting it, the stinging pain from his sharp teeth surprised him. He vaguely registered Kojiro’s cock spasming and spilling inside him, his knot having swollen to its full size.
Kaoru was overwhelmed with all the different sensations. He was being stretched beyond belief, but he could hardly focus on that when the burning on his neck was shifting into a more pleasant tingle. His head buzzed from the influx of pheromones being introduced into his system. Kojiro had removed his teeth and was now pressing soft kisses around the area. He was whispering a mixture of ‘sorry’ and ‘I love you’ into his skin.
Despite still being sensitive, Kaoru brought a hand up to slide his fingers around Kojiro’s jaw, gently pushing his head away. Mahogany eyes were on him instantly, drifting around his face as if searching for any pain in his expression. He felt so safe and loved with Kojiro’s attentive gaze on him.
Kaoru felt his throat tighten as his anxiety suddenly took over. He'd proclaimed that he would mark Kojiro back, but it was a known fact that not all alphas would accept a reciprocal bite. It was a typical practice of dominance for an alpha to mark an omega to claim them. Times were changing, but a lot of the community displayed a lack of acceptance over reciprocation.
“Can... can I mark you back? Am I allowed to?” Kaoru said softly.
He watched and waited for any physical twitch or wrinkle of Kojiro’s facial features that might indicate hesitance. There was a pause that made Kaoru hold his breath in anticipation, but then Kojiro was simply smiling down at him. He pressed a kiss to Kaoru’s forehead before lowering his head and baring his neck.
“God, Kaoru. Please,” Kojiro said. “I would love that so fucking much.”
Kaoru exhaled as relief flooded him. Kojiro sounded so genuine with his response, like he couldn’t believe Kaoru had implied otherwise, like he was just as desperate for a bonding mark as Kaoru had been earlier. It filled Kaoru with a surge of confidence.
With one hand curled around Kojiro’s shoulder to hold him steady, Kaoru lifted his head to nuzzle his cheek against his scent gland. The woody scent was potent there, and it only served to make him dizzier. He tilted his head to nose at it, parting his lips to prod his teeth against his skin, searching for a comfortable angle. He heard the way Kojiro’s breaths had turned shallow, and he was holding himself very still.
When Kaoru finally sunk his teeth in hard enough for the metallic taste of blood to hit his tongue, Kojiro stiffened against him with a pained groan. Kaoru only held himself there for a few seconds before relaxing and withdrawing enough to examine it. There were crimson indentations where his teeth had pressed in, and the skin was flushed and slightly raised.
Kojiro took a moment to catch his breath, and then he was carefully turning them over onto their sides. Kaoru tensed when he felt Kojiro’s cock nudge just a bit deeper inside him. Kojiro guided Kaoru's leg to settle over his hip. Then he reached up to grab a few pillows and tucked them against either of their backs to make their position more comfortable.
Kaoru’s eyes fluttered as his body relaxed. He felt high on pheromones and sated from the post-bonding pleasure. His head was resting on Kojiro’s outstretched arm. Everything felt right in that moment.
At least ten minutes had passed in silence when Kojiro suddenly broke it.
“Thank you,” he said, surprising Kaoru. “For marking me. For letting me mark you.”
Kaoru felt his face heat up from the look Kojiro was giving him—like he was so incredibly in love. All that intense passion was being directed his way through his gaze and his words, and it made Kaoru feel overwhelmed with emotions himself. As much as he wanted to pass himself off as normal, or scoff and roll his eyes, he couldn’t. He tended to slip into a more pliant state while he was knotted, and it was certainly no different this time around.
He would blame the pheromones coursing pleasantly through his body for the way they made him rub his cheek affectionately against Kojiro’s bicep.
“I like being yours,” Kaoru said.
“Yeah?”
He smiled, and all the warmth from it seemed to spread from his body to Kaoru’s. He reached up to trace his fingers along Kaoru’s arm, his hand rising and falling with the dips of his muscles. It traveled a bit higher over his shoulder, pausing to avoid gliding directly over the fresh bite mark, continuing past it to cup Kaoru’s cheek. He rubbed his thumb softly into his skin.
Kojiro opened his mouth before closing it and glancing off to the side. A look of embarrassment flitted across his face, and Kaoru didn’t want the moment to pass without acknowledging it.
“What?” Kaoru said. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I was just going to say... you’ve always been mine, or something. But then I thought about it. And that’s not really true.” He laughed weakly. “Just silly words crossing my mind. Don’t worry about it.”
Kaoru frowned, feeling displeased by Kojiro's uncertainty. If it were up to him to declare his belonging to someone else, Kaoru would insist on it being Kojiro. It wouldn’t be limited to tonight or even a few days ago. Hell, he’d been wishing he could be Kojiro’s since high school, if he really thought about it. There was more truth to what Kojiro said than the man in question even knew.
“I have,” Kaoru said. Kojiro offered him a puzzled expression, so Kaoru continued, looking away as he spoke. “I’ve always been yours, in a way. We’ve been together since we were kids. Sure, you had your attention elsewhere at some points along the way, but you still came back to me. It’s always been us against the world, Koji. Don’t you feel the same way?”
“Kaoru...”
For a long moment, Kojiro just watched him with a dazed look. There was a rosy tint on his cheeks. He looked equally amazed and bashful, clearly affected by what Kaoru had said. Then he used the hand on Kaoru’s jaw to pull his face closer, pressing their lips together before slotting them into something slow. They languidly moved together, and Kaoru hummed from the soothing combing of Kojiro’s fingers in his hair.
“Of course I feel the same way,” Kojiro said, pulling away first. “I just didn't think I should assume, you know?”
“Always too considerate for your own good,” Kaoru said with a sigh. He settled his head down onto Kojiro’s arm, letting his eyes close.
They talked for a little while longer, until the knot went down and Kojiro made an effort to clean them both up. He waved away Kaoru’s offer to help, insisting on him staying in bed while he brought over damp towels to dab at the bite wound, and then using another for his lower body.
Once they were both settled comfortably under the blankets, Kaoru quickly drifted off to sleep in Kojiro’s arms.
◇ ◇ ◇
When Kaoru woke, it was to sunlight peeking through a gap in the curtains. He yawned and stretched as much as he could with the muscled arms that were curled around his waist. They hindered his range of movement, but Kaoru had grown used to it over the past week. He turned around in Kojiro’s hold to press his face into his chest, inhaling deeply.
A moment or two passed before he realized there wasn’t much of a scent in his nose, so he sniffed again. And again. He made a confused sound and moved his face closer to the scent gland on Kojiro’s neck. Memories from last night flooded in to remind him that there was a mark there now, and he smiled when he opened his eyes to see it. The area of skin was still a bit rosy, but it seemed to be healing rather quickly. He supposed his own would appear the same way.
He sniffed at the marked area experimentally, trying to pick up any of that familiar potent aroma. It was present, sure, but the sandalwood scent was greatly reduced, and he had to concentrate hard to recognize it at all.
Kojiro stirred from Kaoru’s shuffling, and his arms curled tighter around him. A squeak was forced from Kaoru when he was squeezed flush against Kojiro’s chest. Kaoru felt the rumble of Kojiro’s laugh more than he heard it.
“Morning, princess,” Kojiro said. “Did you sleep well?”
“I slept as well as one can with a gorilla plastered to his back.”
“Don’t act like you aren’t the one dragging me closer every night.”
Kaoru huffed in faux annoyance if only to put on a facade. He knew very well that he was just as clingy as Kojiro. He just wasn’t as shameless about admitting to it. Kojiro pressed his nose into Kaoru’s hair and inhaled. He let out a sound of confusion reminiscent of the one Kaoru had made a few minutes ago.
“Your scent has gone down,” Kojiro said. “Wait. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. I feel... normal?”
“You’re not feeling any urges?”
“No, not really. I think my heat is over.”
“I feel a lot calmer today, too. I think we might both be over it.”
An entire week had gone by, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise to learn that their respective heat and rut were over. Still, Kaoru vaguely remembered his heats from years ago taking a bit longer. The feverish urges he’d experienced would wane gradually rather than suddenly ending the next day. He could chalk it up to the use of his suppressants or him growing older affecting his cycle. But maybe it was something else. If Kojiro’s rut ended at exactly the same time, it couldn’t just be Kaoru.
“Do you think our bonding has something to do with it?” Kaoru said.
Kojiro looked up in thought. He remained that way for a bit before humming as if coming to a conclusion.
“I have friends who are mated, and they’ve told me that their ruts and heats end more quickly than before they were. I didn’t really stop to consider that it might affect us.”
Kaoru nodded as he took in the information. “I suppose it’s not a surprise then.”
“Well, we know one thing that should come from all of this.”
“What’s that?”
Kojiro smiled in an enamored sort of way. He reached up to tuck Kaoru’s hair around his ear, letting his thumb graze his cheek.
“Things should go by a lot faster for us in the future, now that we’re bonded,” Kojiro said. “We can get through it together.”
Kaoru felt his breath catch, and he suddenly felt incredibly shy at the implication of this dynamic continuing. He'd gone into this whole thing by deluding himself into thinking no emotions were involved. Now he was coming out of it not only with a finished heat, but a mate as well.
To put things into an even more startling perspective, he was mated with the only person he’d ever fallen in love with—the only person he’d ever want to love.
It overwhelmed him in a dizzying, satisfying sort of way. He couldn’t help his mechanical reaction of brushing him off.
“That’s if I haven’t grown sick of you,” Kaoru said, looking away.
“That’s cute of you to pretend you don’t want this,” Kojiro said with a laugh. “You’re stuck with me now. You made sure of that last night.”
“Sh-Shut up, annoying gorilla! You’re so irritating.”
Kojiro locked his arms around Kaoru as he struggled to push him away. The room was filled with the sound of his boisterous laugh. At some point, Kaoru gave up trying to put distance between them, and after running out of muttered insults, a comfortable silence settled over them. Kaoru’s cheek was pressed to Kojiro’s bare chest, and he tried not to let on that he was enjoying the closeness.
“It’s always been us against the world, huh?” Kojiro said softly, as if he was just thinking out loud. It sounded almost wistful coming from him.
Kaoru couldn’t bring himself to respond verbally, so he just nodded.
“I won’t ever leave your side. I hope you know that, Kaoru.”
Of course Kaoru knew that. He believed wholeheartedly in Kojiro’s love for him. Aside from how sincere he sounded when speaking on it, many years had passed during which his unwavering devotion had been made clear. There was no room for doubt, truly.
There was something comforting about knowing how much somebody loved him. It put Kaoru’s entire body and mind at peace.
“I know,” Kaoru said simply. “After all, I know you.”