Chapter Text
Pomni was starting to think the mop didn’t exist.
Well, sure. After that disaster of an awards show, who knew? Maybe nothing was where it was supposed to be. But god, Caine couldn’t have asked anyone else to help look for it? Just her? It wasn’t like she was the one who had to clean the place, anyways. Just had to find the mop.
Sigh.
Well, she didn’t really have much else to do. Gangle had finally taken Zooble up on their offer, and the two were drawing together in Gangle’s room. Weirdly, they were uninterrupted. Ever since the awards show, Jax had stopped breaking into the others’ rooms. Nobody was sure if that was a good or bad omen. But for now, it kept privacy mostly intact, so that was something to work with.
Pomni especially appreciated that. The idea of Jax walking in on her crying? God, she would never live it down. She thought she’d known him. Maybe even that they could be friends.
She couldn’t have been more wrong.
She gritted her teeth as she pushed down the hallway, halfheartedly pushing one of the doors open. No mop. No anything, really- only spare furniture and grey walls. Weird, for such a brightly coloured circus. She could have sworn the last room was painted yellow and blue.
But the rooms kept getting darker as she moved through. Darker and more intricate. Black-leather couches and paintings and even little flickering candles spread over silken tablecloths. Even doors made lockable by strange keys affixed to the doorknobs.
Okay. That was weird.
Maybe it wasn’t all too bad that Caine had sent her on this wild goose chase- she might never have known about this part of the circus otherwise. Even with her love of exploring, she’d been…well, busy. And when not busy, what was the point? She knew she couldn’t escape. That everything about this world was fake.
Everyone, for that matter.
Fuck.
She didn’t notice her finger tracing over an enormous purple-cushioned chair until it was too late. But it was soft. And the colour was familiar, too. Jesus, how sad was it that this was her life? Everything in this stupid circus reminded her of him now. Because of course that jerk had to ruin everything. Maybe it was always going to be that way. Maybe neither of them had another choice.
He would have always hurt her, and she would have always looked like an idiot trying to get through to him.
Pomni was out of the room in an instant, shuddering.
Mop. Mop. Mop. Mop. Stupid mop, where are you?
The only thing she was grateful for was that all of the rooms remained small and barren enough to locate a mop upon first glance. She wouldn’t have to spend too much time looking. Unless it wasn’t in any of these rooms- then she was fucked. She wondered if Caine could just…summon a mop. Or snap his fingers and instantly clean the mess from the awards show. She knew he was busy running damage control, but still. Why bother sending her to find one? Atonement?
No, screw that. The only thing she’d done wrong was assume Jax actually cared about her. If anything, Caine should’ve been making him look for the mop. It was probably his fault that Ragatha stress-vomited after the ceremony anyways.
She opened the next door with unnecessary force, cringing at the ensuing clatter. Oops. This room was…definitely bigger than the others, with warm hanging lights and a pitch-black countertop. And behind the counter, a display case of elegant bottle after bottle…
A bar? Here?
Pomni looked to the source of the clatter and heaved a sigh of instant relief as she saw the polished handle of a mop. Thank god. She could report back to Caine and get out of this place. Go back to her room and-
“Oh, great. Back for an encore?”
Every muscle in her body stiffened. Damn it all.
She turned haltingly, mop clutched in her hands like a weapon. Whether it would be useful against asshole rabbits, she had no idea. But she felt better for it.
Jax was leaning against the counter, mouth wrapped around a curly straw. He took an obnoxious sip. Something about him looked…different. Like he wasn’t totally here. Like he’d already moved on.
“Jax? What are you…doing here?”
Jax scoffed.
“Um, getting s[***]faced? Sheesh, learn to read a room.” Sure enough, his face was flushed, movements looser. Judging from the lack of glasses to his side, he’d only had the one drink. Was Jax a lightweight?
“Okay,” Pomni whispered, holding the mop closer to her. She took several nervous steps backwards. “I’m just gonna-“
“Wait, wait.” Jax grinned lopsidedly. Though that could’ve been the alcohol. “Don’t run off yet. Stay for a drink.”
Pomni recoiled. He almost sounded like he meant it. The mop slipped from her hands and landed on the floor, making her jump. Jax simply watched with mild interest, taking another loud sip of his drink.
“Didn’t realize you were wasted already. Carry on, I guess.”
Pomni pursed her lips. “I’m not drunk, a(**)hole.”
“Sure you’re not.”
Oh, she hated him.
She kicked the mop for good measure as she stormed to the bar. She’d be taking a bottle for the road and that was it. No dealing with insults or taunts or feelings or-
“Hey, I meant it.” Jax finally set his glass down, resting his chin in his hands as he did. “Drinking alone. Kinda sucks, y’know?” Something seemed to flicker in his eyes, and he glanced away. His brow furrowed. “Don’t really wanna be alone right now.”
Pomni eyed him warily, a bottle of Campari clutched to her chest. Was he being for real?
“Why are you doing this?” She took a bottle of gin.
The rabbit shrugged, one ear flicking.
“If things go as planned, I won’t remember any of this tomorrow anyways. Might as well have a little company.” He tilted his head. “You gonna join me or what?”
Well, she could always just leave if he started acting like a dick. If Jax wanted to pretend the fight between them had never happened- whatever helped him sleep at night, she guessed. She took a deep breath, weighing her options. He seemed a little less…well…Jax while he was tipsy. Less crafty and awful. Less funny, too, she thought, and nearly kicked herself for thinking it.
“Fine.” She sighed, grabbing red vermouth and sliding onto the stool next to him. His eyes went huge, and she frowned. “What? I don’t bite.”
“Welllllll, actually-“ He grinned, propped his leg up on the bar. Pomni winced. No visible wounds, but still. The memory was enough to make her chest ache. She busied herself with mixing her Negroni, cursing inwardly as she realized she’d forgotten the ice.
“I’m- sorry about that,” she finally replied, getting up from her stool. She wouldn’t look at him; instead, she rifled around in the freezer until she found a handful of ice, then awkwardly dumped it into her glass. Not really how it was supposed to be made, but whatever. Surprisingly, Jax said nothing. The effect alcohol had on the rabbit really was insane. She finally looked at him as she pulled herself up onto her seat and found him staring, straw hanging from his mouth. “Are you…okay?”
“What? Oh, heh. Yeah.” Jax giggled- actually giggled- before taking another sip. “Jeez, this is weird, huh?”
“Yeah.” Pomni didn’t know what else to say, so she took a sip too. She’d eyeballed the amounts, but it still tasted pretty okay. The bitterness was kind of perfect- scorching her throat, giving her time to just…feel. Almost cathartic. She sighed into her glass. The tightness in her chest was beginning to unravel, giving way to something looser.
“I mean, reaaaaaally,” Jax continued with a wave, and Pomni realized with a start that he really was much looser than her. “We haven’t even talked since-“ He wasn’t giggling anymore. “Not like we talked too much before that anyways.”
“Would you have…wanted to talk more?” Pomni pried cautiously. She wouldn’t have dared ask while he was sober. Knowing him, he would’ve found some way to embarrass her. Claim she meant nothing to him. But now…well, she just had to get him drunk enough that he wouldn’t remember to make fun of her tomorrow.
“Oh, yeah.”
Pomni narrowed her eyes, looking for a smirk or a flippant wave. Nothing. He was looking at her so matter-of-factly, head tilted like he was trying to make sense of her. Weird. And yet, she couldn’t help the hopeful skip of her heart-
Calm down, Pomni.
“You…what?”
“Yeah.” Jax rubbed at his ear, the corner of his mouth curving into a smile. “I mean, who else is there to talk to, right?”
Pomni stared blankly into her drink, heart dropping. “Right.”
“Oh, you know what I- whatever. You’re actually, y’know. The only kinda cool person here.”
“But you said-“ Her eyes blurred, and she took a swig of Negroni to keep herself from crying in front of him. Unfortunately, it was too much. She sputtered hard, one hand gripping the countertop to keep from falling over with the force of her coughs.
“You-?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” She waved Jax off, trying not to think too much. That would suck.
“What were you saying earlier?” The rabbit picked at his overalls. His eyes focused on Pomni. Damn those eyes. Those stupid cartoon eyes. He looked at her like that fight never happened. Like he hadn’t said every awful thing to her. Maybe the alcohol was messing with his memory, but- no, he remembered just fine. He just didn’t want to deal with the consequences.
She guessed she couldn’t really fault him for that.
“You said you were just pretending. Because it was funny.” She finally looked him in the eyes, chin wobbling slightly. “You’d forget about me.”
“I-“ Jax cut himself off, shaking his head. His hands trembled on his glass. Pomni watched as his eyes closed, full body going still as he seemed to try and think of a way to make it through the conversation. Well, the joke would come soon enough. And she’d be the punchline, no doubt.
“You weren’t wrong, Poms. Maybe I’m not the funny one.” He swirled his drink, sighing through his teeth. But not an exasperated sigh, like she would’ve expected. Just tired. “You got any more of that…whatever’s in your cup?”
Pomni cocked an eyebrow. “Sure you can handle it? It’s pretty…” She took one glance at Jax’s scathing expression and giggled. “Well, okay then. Your funer-“ Shit. Better leave that one alone. “You’re…funny.”
“Nice save.” Jax snickered, sticking his twisty straw into Pomni’s glass. His lanky form swayed precariously as he did.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to drink it with a-“
Jax’s hands clawed desperately at the counter as his stool gave way beneath him. On instinct, Pomni grabbed him by the elbows, looping an arm around his back to keep him upright-
-and whoa. The twinkling bar lights gleamed in Jax’s eyes, smoothed his panicked expression into something almost breathtaking.
“-straw.”
They stared at each other a moment longer. Jax looked utterly hypnotized by the sudden contact. Or maybe just in shock. His lips parted slightly in surprise, pupils dilating-
“You got your tail back,” Pomni blurted out, finally untangling herself from Jax. She’d felt it as she’d caught him- the tiniest brush of soft fur. Oh, god help her, he was soft. Well, she knew that now. Cool.
“Yeah.” Jax stared uncomprehendingly, finally moving away from her to right his seat. He slid into it without taking his eyes off of her. “Yeah. I’ve got that.”
“Oh my god, was it the gin? Is that what’s got you all…” Pomni gesticulated vaguely. “…f(***)ed up?”
“You think I can’t hold my own against a little gin?” Jax snorted, throwing Pomni a grin. “Whatever. I’m going to find the strongest s(***) they have in this place.” He patted Pomni’s hair as he passed by, which was…weird, but then, Jax was pretty weird too. Only thing she needed to worry about was making sure he didn’t try to torture her. Besides, she thought she’d done a pretty excellent job of not reacting to it.
“Tequi-la-la-laaa!” Jax raised the bottle triumphantly, winking. “Wanna do shots?”
“As long as they’ve got the salt and lime.” Pomni rose from her seat. “I’ll help you look.”
“Thanks, clownfish.”
Pomni squinted at him. “Clownfish?”
“Ya know.” Jax shrugged. “You’re kinda like a clown. But just callin’ you clown is weird. Monosyllabic, y’know?”
“You’re a textbook dictionary drunk, you know that?” Pomni shook her head, incredulous. “I can’t believe you just used the word monosyllabic in a sentence.”
“Whatever you say, clownfish.” Jax smirked, tossing Pomni a lime. “Got your lime.” He snickered and nudged her with the can of salt. “A pickup lime?”
“Okay, just who’s coming onto who here?” But she giggled as she rooted around in the cabinet for a knife. Okay. Nothing. “You have a knife, Jax?”
“If you’re askin’ for street cred reasons, yes. If it’s for legal or functional reasons…” He tilted his head. “Nope.”
“…I’ll just go ahead and field this one.” Pomni grinned, revealing wickedly sharp teeth. Jax groaned, looking weirdly excited.
“No way. You’re seriously gonna-?”
She sliced open the lime on her teeth, making quick work of it. Before long at all, it was cut into wedges. Jax seemed throughly impressed as she licked the juice from her canines.
“Huh. You are cool.” He gave a low whistle. “Not bad for a clown.”
“Jester. And you drink like a bunny.” She held up a lime wedge. “Really to fix that?”
—————————-
“Wait, lemme make sure I got this straight.” Jax pointed to the shot glass. “Take shot first.”
“Nope.” Pomni grinned at him. Kinda cute. He definitely liked it better when she wasn’t totally pissed at him. Or, like, crying. He’d thought about going to her room a few times, but every time-
Well. The little jester wasn’t as quiet a solo act as she thought.
“It’s salt, shot, lime. That’s why the salt’s on the rim like this.” Pomni’s finger traced just above the circle of salt, leaving Jax mesmerized. Why was she still wearing those stupid gloves? Why was he still wearing stupid gloves? He’d tried to take them off before, but Caine-
“Got it?”
“Uuuhhh.” Jax chewed his lip. “One more time for me, darlin’.”
“Cute.” Pomni gave him a deadpan look, then finally relented with a smile. Was that a blush? Oh, he hoped so. Wait. Did he? Well, it might embarrass her a little, which would be bad. Fun. Huh?
“Just a little refresh,” Jax prodded, ears flattening innocently against his head. “I didn’t hear you the first time.”
“Or the second and third, apparently.” But she held up the shot glass. “Let me show you.”
Jax watched with thinly veiled fascination as the jester’s tongue circled the glass, licking the salt from its rim. Okay. Maybe a little more than fascination. That little smile curving her lips as she slid them over the edge- fuuuuuuck. Oh, she was cute.
Then she threw her head back and swallowed the tequila, quickly sticking the lime wedge into her mouth. She sucked on it for a moment or two, which definitely didn’t escape Jax’s notice. He felt alert watching her. Whether it was more like predator or prey, he had no idea. But he couldn’t take his eyes away all the same as she tore the lime wedge from her lips-
“Hah, that’s how you do it,” he crowed, snatching the other shot from her hand. “Let me give it a shot.”
“More like I’m giving you a shot.”
“Whatever.”
Jax sucked the salt off the rim of the glass, then threw back his head like he’d seen Pomni do and swallowed-
“You’re the one who wanted to do shots in the first place,” Pomni reminded him later through her giggles, wiping the spilled tequila from the counter. Jax burned. He couldn’t believe he’d coughed out the whole damn thing. His throat felt too tight, and itchy, and-
“Hey, hey.” He looked up. Pomni pushed a glass of water into his hands. “Take this. You’ll feel…better, probably?” She was still biting down a smile, eyes shy. Some part of his brain whispered that this was an extraordinarily bad idea, letting her in like this. He should be mocking her. Making her regret her laughter. Pushing her to the furthest corners of the circus, and then pushing her off of it. Because it would be funny, maybe, to watch her fall.
So why did he feel like the one who was falling?
Maybe it was the bit of tequila that had managed to make it past his throat. Maybe it was the shock of being intruded upon in his private bar. Hell, maybe it was that tiny droplet of lime juice kissing the corner of Pomni’s mouth. But for whatever reason, Jax reached out and put his hands around Pomni’s. Still holding the cup between Pomni’s palms, Jax lifted up and brought it to his lips, taking greedy gulps to soothe the ragged ache of his throat. He looked up at Pomni, eyelids lowered.
“You could’ve just…taken the cup, you know.”
“I coulda.” Jax grinned, pushing the glass off to the side and lowering his chin into Pomni’s cupped hands. Even through the gloves, she felt warm. “But where’s the fun in that?”
“You think I’m fun?” Her hands ran tentatively over his face, and Jax suddenly became hyperaware of the fact that he now had fur. Pomni made a little noise somewhere between a gasp and a giggle. Jax snapped back to attention and realized he was leaning into her touch like a man starved for it. Like he might actually abstract if he couldn’t get as close to her as possible. Dangerous.
“Knew it,” Pomni murmured against his ear, stroking it gently as she did. Oh, god, the feeling- hah. He could barely focus, with her so close and the scent of her on the air and fuck. He was certain she hadn’t smelled this strongly to him before. Then again, Caine sometimes kicked the rabbit senses up a notch if he knew he was gonna be away for a little while. Fuck. The last time he did that-
“Knew- nnngh- what, Poms?” Jax gritted his teeth, trying so desperately to stay still. To focus on anything but the way her hand smelled like warm sugar. Or the slide of her other hand over his ear, rubbing against him so tenderly.
God, he was turning soft.
“I knew you didn’t hate me.”
Jax scoffed, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the blush spreading rapidly across his face. If the heat was any indicator, it reached his ears too. Fucking embarrassing.
“You knew that?”
“More like hoped,” Pomni admitted, fidgeting with the tips of Jax’s ears. He nearly shuddered with pleasure.
Wait, hoped?
Jax coughed, thankfully sans-tequila this time.
“Yeah, well, we all say things. Try not to take it so seriously.” He grinned, though it fell flat at Pomni’s expression.
“I’m seriously going to bite you again if you keep pulling that s(***).” His heart nearly beat out of his chest as she yanked him closer by the strap of his overalls. She didn’t look angry, exactly. Just intense. Desperate to make him understand. Something about it filled him with dread down to his core. “What else do you say, Jax?” Her thumb traced over his cheek.
Okay. This is kinda hot.
Yeah, probably shouldn’t say that.
“Plenty,” he replied, smirking. He got up from his seat, not totally sure what he was doing. Until his arms were on either side of Pomni’s stool, caging her in against the counter, and he suddenly felt he was in the exact right place.
“Maybe too much,” Pomni breathed. Her gloved hand ran from his head to his shoulder to his back-
“Shut me up, then.” Jax grinned near-wildly, confidently. The jester was cute, that was for sure. But a shameless flirt like himself? No chance. He chuckled darkly, eyes sliding shut in self-satisfaction. A job well-done. A status quo kept safely in check. “See, Poms? Knew you couldn’t-“
And then her lips were on his and oh, god. He froze, eyes snapping open. He’d thought the ferocity with which she pulled him forward to meet her meant a rough kiss. One that took and took and only took. But her hand swept against his face so gently he hardly felt it. Warm sugar and lime. Her lips ghosted over his for only an instant more before she pulled back, and Jax burned with shame at the way his mouth chased hers.
Pale and crimson all at once. That was Pomni’s face.
“Oh, god. I’m sorry. I was just trying to prove a point, but I should’ve-“
“Who cares?” Jax leaned against her chest, letting out a deep, slow sigh. The initial panic had given way to satisfaction. Comfort, even. Something warm and liquid settled over his bones, warming every inch of him from the inside out. Especially certain newfound inches. Maybe the tequila. “You’re…ughhhhhhhfff. I don’t care, just don’t…stop.” He nudged against her desperately, need overriding pride. For once. “Please.”
“O-okay.” Pomni smiled, though it looked shaky. Like maybe a part of her was still afraid of him. He felt a surge of disgust with himself at the thought but pushed it down. This was the time to make amends. And maybe she wouldn’t remember. Maybe he wouldn’t remember. They could go back to pretending to fight-
Pretending? Was that really pretend, Jax?
He winced inwardly, stomach plummeting. The look on Pomni’s face…no, it would be a betrayal to her to say it was all pretend. All just a game.
Not that betrayal was something he was unfamiliar with.
Fuck. Who cared? He could figure that out later. He had to. Or maybe they really would forget everything from this night. Then again, there were things he wanted to remember. The silky slide of Pomni’s lips, soft and wanting, on his. The way the anxiety seemed to drain from his body in her gentle hold. Even the little giggles she made, ones he wouldn’t have thought possible after…that.
He was getting way too far ahead of himself. But looking at her now, all small and sweet in his arms…god. He wanted to take a bite.
But not here. The counter was too tall for her and too short for him to effectively…Jesus. They were kissing. That was it. Slow down, Jax.
“Let’s go somewhere else,” Pomni suggested, as if reading his mind. He felt a surge of gratitude. “I’ve got just the place.”