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Isaac the Incomparable

Chapter 8: The Solo Night

Summary:

An old foe returns as Isaac is forced to do his show by himself.

Notes:

Commission from a friend that I decided to officially add to the biography.

Chapter Text

"Pick a card, any card," the fortune teller said.

Brock chuckled and randomly grabbed a card.

“Pick another,” the teller repeated.

Brock obeyed.

“What’s going on?” Isaac asked as he walked up.

“Getting my fortune told,” Brock explained.

“You really believe random cards can tell your future?”

“Nah, but it’s fun.”

Isaac looked towards the teller. They were robed with a hood covering their face, making them impossible to recognize. But the apparent build of the body was slight. The voice was mysterious in tone. What on earth had brought them to this street corner right outside Enchantment Theater?

“And now, pick the third card and your fortune will be revealed,” the teller said.

Isaac reached forward and grabbed a card.

“There we go!” he said. “My pick is as good as any, I suppose.”

The teller waved their hand and the cards vanished.

“Whoa!” called Brock.

The teller turned their hooded face to Isaac.

“Very well, and heed my words, whoever performs with you tonight will meet a terrible fate.”

They waved their arm and disappeared.

“Whoa, that’s freaky!” chuckled Brock.

“Guess you’ve gotten used to seeing strange things since you started working with us.”

“I get compressed into a flat shape or a ball every other night, you get used to weird stuff happening.”

Rudolf stepped out of the theater.

“There you guys are, we want to get a bite before we do the show tonight?”

“Man, I’m starving!” Brock replied as Isaac thought.

“Didn’t you have a tube of peanuts a half hour ago?” Rudolf asked.

“Yeah, that was half an hour ago,” was Brock’s reply.

“Okay,” Isaac said with a sigh. “We can go get dinner, but you guys are taking the night off.”

“What?” Rudolf asked.

Isaac explained about the fortune teller.

“Come on, you’re scared of some weirdo in a robe?” Rudolf asked in surprise.

“You’re my boyfriend, Brock’s our best friend, I’m not risking either of you.”

So cancel the show,” Brock suggested. “We all take the night off and go see a movie or something.”

Try explaining that to Nick,” Isaac countered.

And if you ran with a volunteer from the audience and something happened to them,” Rudolf mused, “that would get out and be pretty bad press for us. Not to mention it probably shouldn’t happen to anyone. But hey, if you can do the cut in two act by yourself, you can work with yourself!”

Isaac rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve never tried duplicating myself like that, and I’m not sure it’d work as well as I’d like… Anyway, what if the teller decides to give me the ‘terrible fate?’”

So what are you going to do?” Brock asked.

Do the show solo.”

 

The curtain opened that night to Isaac leaning against a stool while he looked down at a top hat.

Tonight’s show is a little different,” he said out loud. “See, a favorite way to open the show is to pull either myself or my assistant out of a top hat, but tonight, I’ve elected to perform alone. The problem is, there’s not much of a way to be quite that spectacular on your own.”

He set the hat on the floor in front of his feet.

“I suppose I could do the opposite,” he mused before jumping into the hat, his body rapidly tapering to squeeze into the hat before he vanished within, but a second later, he fell from the rafters of the theater and landed in a sitting position on the stool. “But as you can see, it just isn’t the same.”

The audience laughed and applauded. He stood and bowed.

Tonight, we will prove that even going solo is no obstacle for Isaac the Incomparable!”

With a WHAM! A brick wall fell in front of Isaac.

Oh ha ha, real funny,” came his voice. “Like you think I’m walled in or something?”

The audience gasped in surprise as Isaac pushed his face through the wall as if it was an illusion. For all they knew, it was.

Nothing holds me back!” Isaac laughed before stepping through.

The audience laughed.

What’s the matter?” Isaac asked before looking down at himself. He had been wearing a tux with a bowtie, but after walking through the wall, he was only wearing a black speedo, a bowtie and black socks.

Isaac started when he heard a familiar whistle and he spotted Rudolf in the audience. Sitting near him was Brock, and some other guy, likely Brock had managed to get a date.

Isaac smiled. “Well, we usually offer two things here on my show, spectacular magic and eye candy. Tonight, I get to do both.”

He turned to show his backside off to the audience and coquettishly blew a kiss.

Dude, your boss is hot,” Brock’s date observed.

Oh, I knew that,” Rudolf chuckled, crossing his arms.

Isaac waved his arm and the wall vanished, revealing a clear stage, except for the top hat.

I mean, since I’m working alone, there’s a limit on what acts I can do, but I think I can just bounce back.” Isaac jumped into the hat, disappearing inside of it.

The hat floated up off the stage a good six feet before turning upside down, dropping out Isaac, now compressed into a ball, his face, bowtie and black speedo highlighting an otherwise flesh colored ball. Isaac bounced, going a few inches higher each time.

The audience applauded.

He’s never done anything like this before,” Rudolf whispered to Brock.

Isaac chuckled. “Okay, everyone, watch me go!”

He bounced to the right side of the stage and beneath him appeared a length of clear plastic tubing which he landed on, the tubing on either side of him acting as a guide rail. As he began to roll toward the left side of the stage, more tubing appeared ahead of him, running in circles, making a few loop-de-loops, Isaac following all the way. At a few places, cameras appeared on the track, capturing photos of the balled-up magician, winking.

Finally, the track reached its end after a long and twisty path. At the end appeared an air tank, Isaac grabbing a hose that extended from it in his mouth.

Well, I guess we can’t say he does anything to us he won’t do to himself,” Brock muttered. His date was watching in awe.

The track vanished as the balled Isaac began to expand. He had been about three feet around, now he was easily growing to four, five, six… His arms and legs and chest reappeared, popping out, although they were swelling as well. His head popped back to it’s usual three-dimensional form. Soon, he began to rise and the pump vanished.

Rudolf smiled and nodded. “That’s my guy...”

Two glowing bars appeared on each side of the stage. Isaac floated towards one and it shot up and sent him flying to the other side of the stage, where the other bar shot him flying back.

They’re playing PONG with him!” yelled Brock’s date, leading the audience into laughter.

Isaac smiled and the game sped up with him flying back and forth progressively faster and faster. Finally he was moving at a very fast rate and flew off to the left side of the stage.

A minute later, he walked back in his normal shape, still in his scanty outfit for the night.

I hope you enjoyed that!” he said with a high-pitched voice.

The audience laughed once again.

Sorry, still getting over that,” he continued, his voice returning to its typical tone. “I’ve never worked this much with props before.”

He patted one of the paddles. It fell on him, squashing him flat to the stage, then resumed its position.

And all was still for a minute.

Is he okay?” Brock’s date asked.

Uh… sure he is…” Brock replied. “Right, Rudy?”

Come on, Brock, you know he is,” Rudolf replied with a smile as Isaac, now flattened into a disc, floated up into the air, turning so people could see his flattened face, hands, bowtie and chest on one side and his flattened butt on the other.

Rudolf, Brock and his date all led the audience in wolf whistles.

Yeah, yeah, sexy round flat guys,” Isaac chuckled. “But you know, what can you do with them?”

I can think of a few things!” Brock’s date called out.

The two paddles began circling around Isaac before they formed into a giant transparent funnel that hovered about six feet off of the stage.

And here we go!” Isaac called. He dropped onto the edge of the funnel and began circling around the rim, the next go around taking him a bit further down the tunnel.

I might need one heck of an aspirin!” Isaac called, launching even more laughter.

Down and down and down Isaac rolled. Brock began cheering on his progress and the audience quickly got into it. Finally, Isaac reached the tube that would drop him to the floor of the stage. For a moment, he rolled around the top of the tube, spinning rapidly, before he dropped to the floor and as he hit it, he regained his usual shape.

As Isaac stood up, the funnel vanished.

Okay, one more act before we bring on the band!” he announced. “You know, performing like this has been great! Really empowering to be up here and feel so sexy!”

He struck a pose, flexing his muscles, and as he did, they grew bigger, his chest becoming more defined and himself looking far more imposing.

Holy shit!” Rudolf whispered under his breath.

Isaac smiled and flexed again, growing even bigger, looking more like a pretty fearsome pro wrestler than a magician.

Brock slumped back in his chair. “I would have to hit the gym three times a day and eat so much protein to even hope to look like that!”

Third time’s the charm,” Isaac chuckled before flexing again, this time becoming ridiculously muscled and huge.

The ever impressive Isaac,” Isaac paraphrased from Aladdin, doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. “Strong enough to hold my own against the Hulk, unstoppable, and an ass that doesn’t quit!”

He turned to show his now nearly globular butt off to the audience, who followed with applause.

What, you thought this was the last act?” Isaac asked, turning to face the audience again. “Oh, no, I thought I’d…”

From the floor, two rollers appeared out of nowhere, rolling up against Isaac’s body and flattening him out into a huge, flat square shape.

For a moment, Isaac stood flattened on the stage, his face and torso stretched to his entire width, including his speedo.

“Uh… good night!” he said hoarsely before falling backward, then rolling himself up like a scroll and rolling off backstage.

Isaac was about to restore himself when he felt someone pick him up.

Well played,” came the mysterious voice of the fortune teller, though now they sounded amused. “You dared not to risk another, so you yourself worked alone. Very noble.”

Who are you?” Isaac managed to mutter despite being folded on himself.

Some call me Fate the Cruel Mistress, others believe me to be Father Time, and there are other names for me. It is not important.”

But why did you threaten Brock?”

My presence was summoned by another magician like yourself,” was the explanation. “He made the request of me to transform someone close to you into a card to give to him so that he might force a confrontation between you two.”

Damian?” Isaac asked.

That was his name, yes. Right now, I believe the name I have given him suffices.”

Isaac found himself restored to his normal form and holding a tarot card. On it was a handsome, tall man with pale blonde hair and piercing grey eyes, dressed in rags. Underneath the picture was its title: “The Fool.”

Will he always be a card?” Isaac asked.

No, but he will be for a time. Perhaps an hour, perhaps millennia, but in time, he will recover his original form.”

Isaac wondered what to do with the card when the fortune teller took it and tucked it into their robe. “Until then, he will make a fine addition to my deck. I shall never trouble you again, go in peace.”

And with that, they were gone.

Rudolf, Brock and his date came backstage.

Hey, man that was an incredible show!” Brock cheered.

Brock’s date held up a postcard from the gift shop, showing a balled Isaac rolling on the track. The gift shop contained many types of print-on-demand memorabilia that the printing machines would print and manufacture right in front of the customers.

I simply must have an autograph!” he said.

Isaac smiled and obliged.

Okay, now let’s go!” Brock laughed. “See you later, boss!”

Catch you later, Brock.”

Brock and his date left the back room.

Isaac turned to Rudolf who was smiling broadly and had his arms crossed.

“Enjoy the show?” Isaac asked.

“You should dress like this more often,” Rudolf commented.

“Well, it'd throw off the dynamic of the sexy assistant,” Isaac said with a small shrug. “Which is a little too bad, this was really invigorating.”

“I didn't mean for a show.”

“Oh... Okay, that we can do.”

Rudolf chuckled and flashed his eyebrows. “Yeah, some of your acts tonight, I think I’d like an encore, in private.”

“Well then,” Isaac replied with a seductive grin, “on with the show!”

“Hmm, I think you know which one I want to start with,” Rudolf said before playfully smacking Isaac on the head.

“Oh my!” Isaac exclaimed with a smirk as he compressed into a disc again, just like he’d done in his act. Rudolf picked him up and kissed him and drummed four of his fingers on the backside.

“Thanks, babe, let’s head home.” He tucked Isaac under his arm and headed for the exit.