Work Text:
Tony tossed back the rest of his coffee as he focused on the coding that made up the firewall around Kamar-Taj. He already had an in from Stephen’s phone, but anything beyond that was entirely protected. Which, good for them, Tony approved of technologically savvy places—even if the way Stephen had described Kamar-Taj had not given Tony the impression of somewhere that would have this sort of firewall in place. The coding that made up the firewall had was beyond creative—it had created a whole new coding language—and Tony needed to meet the person who had coded it.
But that was for later.
For now, Tony needed to get through. He’d been going at this for thirty minutes now—and that was only counting the time since he’d gotten enough information to start dissecting and learning this new coding language itself, which was damn impressive for some random magic commune and had taken over a week. Tony wanted to applaud, except it was making his life far more difficult than he’d expected.
With a ha of exultation, he finally broke through the firewall. He used Stephen’s phone as an anchor point, hooking into the now available wifi at Kamar-Taj and scanning through every device connected to it. He kept it at a scan; he wasn’t trying to invade anyone’s privacy, just trying to find a specific device. It took a few minutes. How many people lived in Kamar-Taj? Stephen had talked about several of his fellow students and the masters that taught him during their weekly video calls and their far more regular texts, but Tony hadn’t quite been picturing this many people there.
There.
He isolated the device and sent a message as a text. You’re Wong, right?
Perfect. He suspected it would take a while for Wong to respond, if he did. If he didn’t Tony would just have to begin his campaign of persuasion—not harassment—to get Wong to respond to him. Given that Tony was annoyingly persistent and somehow equally charming, Tony had no doubts he’d succeed. He had a little under a month, anyway, to get what he wanted.
That was probably enough time, because he would have an invitation to visit Kamar-Taj for his and Stephen’s anniversary. Tony refused to let the day pass without seeing Stephen. The last four months had been hard with their separation, even in contact as they were, and Tony missed Stephen.
They’d recognized that Stephen needed to do this alone—Jonathon Pangborn had made that clear—but a visit for the day couldn’t be that against the rules. ...hopefully. That was why Tony was going through the effort to ask and get permission. Unfortunately, Kamar-Taj didn’t have a dedicated phone line or an organizational email for Tony to reach out.
So Tony had gotten creative.
Tony stared at the large bouquet in the vase on the counter, mind rotating through dates and reasons. After all, bouquets that grandiose—at least two dozen roses, intermixed with daisies, which were Tony’s favorite—weren’t bought for the fun of it. Stephen would have had a reason to stop at the florists. It was not something Stephen would do on a lark; Stephen was purposeful, always. “Shit,” he swore as he finally placed the date. Their anniversary. Today they had officially been dating for five years.
Behind him, Stephen laughed having entered the room without Tony noticing. “You forgot, didn’t you?” He didn’t sound surprised. He’d gotten home while Tony was still in the lab and had disappeared into their bedroom by the time Tony had pulled himself from the lab to come greet him.
There was no real point in lying. Tony turned, giving Stephen a sheepish grin, noting that Stephen’d changed into a soft t-shirt and lounge pants. “I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that I forgot, or the fact that you aren’t surprised by that fact.” Probably the latter, which implied that Stephen had very low expectations in Tony’s ability to be a thoughtful partner.
Stephen just laughed. “Tony, did you even know today’s date before this moment?”
Tony wrinkled his nose. “No,” he admitted. He never really did. It was absolutely ridiculous of him, but dates just didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t that he missed deadlines. FRIDAY reminded him of what was on the itinerary on any given day and if he had anything due in the immediate future and Tony dealt with it. Tony didn’t actually need to know what day it was in order to get the things done. That was why he had FRIDAY, and before her, JARVIS.
But FRIDAY wouldn’t have had reason to have his and Stephen’s anniversary in her schedule. Tony had never told her. JARVIS would have known, because JARVIS had been there for all of it. Next year, FRIDAY would know to remind him, but that didn’t really help the fact that Tony had missed this year.
“Exactly,” Stephen said. “It’s not that you forgot when our anniversary is, it’s that you never know at what point in time you actually exist.”
“I’m not that bad,” Tony protested, even though it was probably—definitely—a lie.
Stephen arched an eyebrow. “Tony, I’m giving you an out. Take it.”
That… was a good point. “Very gracious of you,” Tony said. He moved into Stephen’s space and kissed him in gratitude, before turning it into a ‘missed you’ kiss. “Good day at the hospital?” he asked.
“Nothing to write home about,” Stephen said. “But good enough. And the lab?”
“Already misses me,” Tony said. “But I’d rather spend time with you then chrome tables and holograms.”
Stephen laughed. “High praise.” He pulled back. “Get into something comfy,” he said. “We’re having a movie night, tonight.”
Not exactly what Tony would have expected for their anniversary. Last year on their anniversary, Tony had taken them to Per Se and made sure Stephen was wined and dined to an extreme. He was well aware that Stephen had enjoyed himself. Tony certainly had. He loved the look that would enter Stephen’s eyes when Tony showered him with affection or proved that Tony adored him. That, and Stephen liked being shown off. Which was good, because Tony liked showing him off.
“You sure?” Tony asked. “I can get ready in five minutes.” He paused, considering the fact that he’d done hands-on work today and that always ended with oil in Tony’s hair from when he thoughtlessly ran his hand through his hair. “Make that twenty.”
“I’m sure,” Stephen said. “But yes, you should still shower, because you’ve got an oil stain on your temple, and as adorable as I find you, I’d prefer to cuddle without fear of getting grease on me.
Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”
Stephen just gave him the look.
“All right, all right. I’ll go get comfy.”
Tony gave it a day before he texted again. It’s kind of rude to leave me on read, he started. From everything I’ve heard about you I’d expect nothing less than perfect manners.
There was no response for a while—Tony still wasn’t expecting one—and Tony dove into the blueprints for the Stark Tower that was being built in Paris. It was part company offices and part energy station. They were going to take on over a third of Paris’ energy bill with the reactor that would power it. It was the third Stark Tower outside of New York and each one was better publicity than the last.
“Boss,” FRIDAY informed him. “You have received a text that merits mention.” Few texts did. Mainly texts from Pepper and Stephen. But a quick glance at his phone showed it wasn’t either of those. He had told FRIDAY to treat Wong’s texts with priority for the time being.
Who is this? the text read. Nice and simple. Huh. That hadn’t taken as long as Tony had suspected. He’d thought he’d have to wear Wong down for a few days of sporadic texts. That probably meant that Wong was the quietly curious type. Tony’s text had presented a mystery. Very good to know.
Stephen’s fiancé, Tony responded promptly.
Stephen who?
Tony wondered if Wong didn’t actually know Stephen’s full name, if he happened to know multiple Stephen’s, or if he was being obtuse on purpose. Stephen Strange, he answered. You know the one, handsome, witty, book-thieving, probably a little irritating. It was true, after all, and Tony loved him for it.
A long pause. Strange doesn’t have my number. Tony could feel the suspicion dripping from the words. So how did you get it? Though from what Stephen had said, neither the suspicion nor the fact that Wong hadn’t given Stephen his number was surprising. Tony had thought about texting Mordo instead—Stephen seemed to like him quite a bit—but from the description Stephen had given of Mordo, Mordo was pretty strict.
Of course, at first glance, Wong sounded rather strict himself, but Wong clearly had more lenience or Stephen would be a little more careful about stealing books from him.
That’s hilarious that you think that would stop me, Tony informed Wong. As off the grid as Kamar-Taj put your phone’s signal, it’s still technology. I’m kind of good at technology. By the way, an iPhone? Have you no taste?
Another long pause. Who are you again?
Tony laughed. Stephen’s fiancé, he repeated. Because really, that was the important part. It was also, he acknowledged, not actually Wong’s question. Tony was tempted to hold out on the actual answer, but he did need Wong’s cooperation, so he’d behave. Better known as Tony Stark.
This time there was no response and Tony left it be. He still had most of the month left and clearly Wong needed to come to terms with the fact that he was now fated to be plagued with Tony’s presence. Even if Wong didn’t yet know just how plagued he was going to be.
Unfortunately, Tony was about as hard to get rid of as the bubonic plague, especially when he wanted something. Perhaps an unfortunate comparison, but it was what it was.
Still, this was very good progress. A good day’s work, really. Plan to surprise Stephen for their anniversary was right on track.
“The Princess Bride,” Tony said as he settled down into the nest of blankets and pillows that Stephen had set up. They were going full on movie night. “Interesting choice.”
Stephen smirked. “I know all your secrets, Tony. You love this movie.”
Tony decided it was better not to respond to that accusation, instead he just grabbed the bowl of popcorn and stole a handful. Perfectly buttered and salted, Tony was tempted to keep the bowl on his side where Stephen couldn’t get to it. Stephen clearly caught on, however, because he stole the bowl from Tony’s hands and set it where they’d both be able to reach it but was out of the way so they could cuddle as the movie started.
“Did either of your parents read to you when you were sick?” Tony asked as the movie started and the grandpa showed up with his book.
Stephen hummed. “When I was young my dad read to me. But then once I got old enough I got stubborn about reading things by myself. I didn’t quite get the concept of sharing the moment, I don’t think.” Stephen hesitated. “Did yours?” The cautious note in his voice meant he already knew the answer.
“Jarvis did,” Tony said, there was no pain to the thought. Jarvis had been there, even when ‘butler’ did not include the role of sick time story giver. “Though, we didn’t do the normal stories. I think I had him reading The Physical Review and textbooks and the like. A lot of it was still over my head, back then. But hey, there were pictures, sometimes. Though there were a few times when I was sick for weeks and I’d let him choose the story once or twice and we’d read something normal.”
Stephen just laughed. “That sounds about right.”
The story proper started and they settled in to watch. Stephen was just as bad as Tony about keeping quiet during movies and they took turns quoting bits and pieces. Which totally gave away the fact that Tony had watched this movie way too many times in college, because Stephen was right. Tony loved this movie.
The only downside to tonight’s activity, so far as Tony could see, was that Stephen was going to find every opportunity possible in the next few days to declare something inconceivable. Stephen claimed that Tony was the ridiculous one, but Stephen gave him a run for his money. Probably why they gave their mutual friends as many headaches as they did.
The movie ended and Tony found himself smiling as he rolled a little so he was less curled into Stephen and more on top of him so that he could give Stephen a proper kiss—and he might be biased, but he was pretty sure the way Stephen kissed him far outstripped any other kiss in the history of kisses—in thanks for their evening.
Stephen’s hands ended up on Tony’s hips. “As much as I’m enjoying your gratitude,” Stephen told him. “There was one more thing.”
Tony sighed, but pulled back, straddling Stephen’s hips. “Cheesecake?” he asked, because that was about the only thing he could think of that would make tonight better. Tony was a very easily pleased creature, at times.
That earned him a laugh. “Yes, actually. Several varieties, because you’re spoiled.” Tony was fine with accepting the designation of spoiled if it meant he got multiple flavors of cheesecake. “But that wasn’t what I was talking about.”
“What’s better than a night with you featuring cheese cake, cuddling, and an admittedly fantastic movie choice?” Tony asked.
“I can think of numerous things,” Stephen said. “But that’s fine, because we have hundreds of nights to fit those things in.”
“Oh, hundreds?” Tony teased. “Two and a half years max left, then?” Past 999 days, after all, got them into the thousands.
Stephen rolled his eyes. “And if I say thousands of nights are you going to ask if I’m cutting us off at 27 years?” he asked.
Tony hummed. “27 years is a pretty hefty promise,” Tony asked. “You’ll have to be careful or I might hold you to the promise of 9,999 nights with you.”
“You say that as though I’d mind,” Stephen said lightly. “What if I promised you every night from now until one of us dies?” he asked.
The words took a second to penetrate and Tony stared down at Stephen speechless. Obviously Stephen didn’t mean it literally. Because there’d be evenings and days and maybe even weeks apart, but Stephen was talking about… Stephen was talking about forever.
“Are you proposing?” Tony asked, mouth dry as the words pushed themselves out, demanding an answer. “Because it sounds a lot like you’re proposing.”
Stephen smiled, and the look in his eyes was warm with love and want and it left Tony absolutely breathless. “I am, actually.” One of his hands left Tony’s hip to reach up to grab something beneath his pillow. It was a ring box. Tony was pretty sure he was moments away from losing his mind because Stephen was proposing. Who would have ever thought that would happen. “Though I admit, I didn’t quite picture proposing to you while you were literally straddling me on the ground.”
Tony laughed, because this was really happening. “Doesn’t matter,” he said. “Because it’d have been perfect any way you decided to do it. But I really feel the need to ask if you’re sure, because, uh, I’m kind of a lot and I forget our anniversaries and I’m sometimes the biggest asshole I know and—”
“Yes,” Stephen interrupted. “I’m very sure.” His lips quirked into a teasing smile. “Plus, it’s a good thing you’re an asshole, it makes me feel less guilty for being an asshole myself, on occasion.”
“We do match that way,” Tony conceded. “So I suppose that works out.”
Stephen rolled his eyes. “It does. Now, not to be demanding, but you still haven’t actually answered my question.”
“You still haven’t actually asked,” Tony retorted automatically.
“Fine,” Stephen said. “Tony, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Tony said immediately. “Hell yes.”
Wong, Tony was learning, was a lot of fun to pester. He totally got why Stephen had fun giving Wong a hard time with the books. After all, Stephen didn’t actually need to steal all of them at the same time. He could steal them one at a time, but that wasn’t nearly as much chaos.
So, Tony texted. Are you going to let me talk to the head honcho, yet? he asked. Because, as much fun as it is to pester you, that’s kind of a secondary benefit and not my actual purpose. In this Wong was turning out to be a harder nut to crack then just answering Tony’s texts. But since the Ancient One didn’t have her own cell phone, Tony had needed an intermediary. Hence texting Wong.
Wong, however, had yet to cave to introduce Tony to the Ancient One despite Tony’s constant pestering. Tony wasn’t worried, yet, because he still had two weeks… but if the Ancient One was equally hard to convince, then Tony might have a hard time fulfilling his goal of seeing Stephen on their anniversary.
Do not call her that, Wong responded.
Tony rolled his eyes. Sorcerer Supreme sounds really stuffy, he texted. Just so you know. But fine, will you introduce me to the Supreme Sorcerer of All Things Magic?
The two hour wait wasn’t unexpected before Wong finally responded. What’s in it for me?
Tony grinned in delight. Yes, that was absolute progress. How about a new phone for starters, Tony said. Because an iPhone, really!? What is this, the dark ages? I’ll get you a Stark Phone, best on the market by far. And I’ll get you a lifetime subscription to any music sharing platform you want.
Wong’s response was immediate. Add on tickets to the next Beyonce concert and you have a deal.
The laugh that escaped Tony was entirely unexpected but impossible to stop. Because Beyonce? Really. Not that there was anything wrong with Beyonce, but it was entirely unexpected. Deal, he said. Best seats in the house, of course.
Then you have a deal, Wong told him. The Ancient One has agreed to speak with you. She will begin with a video call.
Oh, that conniver. Wong had clearly already talked to the Ancient One about him and then had gone on to extort Tony for some goodies. Not that Tony blamed him. Much appreciated, Wong. When we talking?
Right now.
Wait. Crap. Right now? Tony was currently seven hours deep into fine-tuning the engine of his latest auto purchase. It was an excellent way to relax, but it wasn’t exactly a clean process. Tony was pretty sure his hair was sticking up in a few places.
He had barely grabbed a rag to wipe at his face to make sure he didn’t look like an absolute disaster before the next second his phone was ringing. Shit. So much for a good impression. Which, okay, might have already been impossible giving he’d hacked his way in, which not everyone appreciated. Tony had just been banking on his ability to be charming to get him past that point.
One quick pass of his hand through his hair to try to get it look presentable and he answered his phone for the video call, aiming his most charming smile at the camera.
He was greeted by a woman of a strangely indeterminate age—Tony was a little surprised, given the ancient one thing—wearing a serene expression. Behind her was a man that Tony assumed was Wong, wearing something closer to a scowl than anything serene. “Tony Stark,” she said. “You wished to speak.”
“Right, yep. I do.” Tony tried to recall the bullet point of talking points he’d put together. “I figured it would be better to ask permission than forgiveness, this once, and ask to come visit Stephen in two weeks instead of just showing up.” And potentially getting Stephen kicked out or something.
The slightest tic of the Ancient One’s eyebrow somehow managed to show a remarkable amount of skepticism. “You infiltrated our wards to reach Master Wong,” she said. “I am not sure that falls under avoiding reasons for which to ask forgiveness.”
“Your wards?” he asked, momentarily baffled. “Oh, you mean your firewalls?” Okay, yes, so that was a good point. Still, Tony had thought this through. “Those were actually incredible, and I’d love to talk to whoever it was who coded those, but that’s beside the point. From what Stephen said, you aren’t the sort to hold something against Stephen that I did. If I showed up, it’d put Stephen in a tricky position. If I made a nuisance of myself without involving him, you might decide to… turn me into a frog, or whatever, but you wouldn’t punish him.”
“I do not tend to engage in animal transformation as punishment,” the Ancient One said, tone something that might have been dry amusement. “And you misunderstand, those firewalls you speak of are magical structures we call wards.”
Tony stared at her, trying to make any sense of it. What? “Uh, sorry?” he asked. “I mean, it was a totally different coding language than anything I’d ever seen before, and it took some interesting finagling to fully connect, but it was code.” Or he’d thought it was.
The Ancient One just stared at him.
Tony shifted in a rare moment of discomfort. “Is that a yes on letting me come see Stephen?” he asked, because he didn’t exactly want to dwell on the fact that he’d hacked magic.
“And what is so important that you wish to interfere with Doctor Strange’s period of learning?” she asked.
The reason. “It’s our anniversary,” he explained. “Six years together.” He could see that that was far from an adequate reason for her, so Tony forced himself to continue his explanation. “He asked me to marry him last year on our anniversary. We… our wedding date, we set it for the same day. Mostly for me, you know, because I’m bad at remembering dates, so it was nice to have all of those milestones on the one date, right? Except there was his accident only a few months later and then he… It was hell for him and he just wanted his hands back. And when we found Pangborn, he made it clear that if Stephen wanted a chance to learn how to heal his hands, that he had to do this thing solo, right? Well, except the texting. Glad you guys aren’t, you know, totally isolationist. Super good look for you guys. Helps combat the cult impression.” Probably not the right thing to say, whoops. “Not the point. I’m just saying it’s… it was supposed to be the day we got married, and sure, we moved it back a year. Maybe two. No harm, no foul. I mean, it’s true love, right? What’s an extra two years? I’m still absolutely going to marry that man one day and it’ll probably be the best day of my life. But… But I was supposed to marry him. Obviously that’s not happening, but I just… it feels wrong to let the day go by without… without him.”
For a long moment the Ancient One didn’t answer, though her head tilted just slightly as she took him in. “Do you wish to bring him home with you, Mr. Stark?”
Tony blinked, a little surprised. “No?” he said, more question than he intended it to be. “Why would I? If he’s where he wants to be then why would I want to take him from that? I’m kind of all in when it comes to Stephen. He’s got my full support for anything less than world domination.” And Tony was kind of on the fence about world domination. If Stephen had a good reason, Tony could probably be persuaded to support him in that, too.
Behind the Ancient One, Wong’s scowl totally flickered for amusement that was quickly covered up by an exasperated eye roll.
“I shall take that into account,” the Ancient One said. Tony had the strangest feeling she might have taken Tony’s comment about world domination a little more seriously than really necessary. “You may come visit, Tony Stark. But I wish for you to spend some time with me and our ward masters to discuss this newfound weakness in our wards.”
Tony wasn’t sure how helpful he’d be with that conversation, since he hadn’t realized what he was hacking had been magic. “Uh, sure. But just so you know, the chances of anyone else getting through those firewalls is pretty slim. I had to learn a whole new coding language from observation only. Also, I’m what some people would call ‘brilliant’ when it comes to coding.”
“Nonetheless,” the Ancient One said. “This is a fascinating development.” She arched an eyebrow. “And should you prove useful, we may find reason to have you visit more often.”
Well, Tony was officially invested in being the most useful source ever. And yes, Tony was totally aware that she was bribing him. Tony was totally okay with that. He could be very bribable at times. “I am great at being useful,” he told her.
A moment’s pause, then the Ancient One added. “And I would be deeply amiss to deny Stephen his true love on such a day.” Tony wasn’t sure if he was serious or just poking at his potentially ludicrous claim at true love even if he knew with everything in his bones that that was what he and Stephen had. Either way, he’d take it.
“Love being on the same page on that count,” Tony said. “Because I’m actually 100 percent serious about that.”
The Ancient One just nodded serenely. “Wong shall discuss with you transportation come the day you plan to visit.”
Tony wasn’t sure what sort of transportation he needed to discuss. He had a plane and Stephen’s location on his phone, but sure, whatever. …although if he was going to get to see one of those portals that Stephen was telling him about in person, Tony absolutely wasn’t going to protest. “Sounds good.” Plus, that meant he got to continue pestering Wong, which was fun. “See you in two weeks.”
-_-
Stephen checked his phone again. He’d finished his morning meditation and spar and taken a shower to wash away the sweat, and it was only 7:00 in the morning, which meant it was just after 9:00 in the evening for Tony. Except Tony hadn’t texted him yet.
Which normally didn’t mean anything. While they texted regularly, neither of them were glued to their phones. But some part of Stephen had just expected to wake up to… something. And now that he’d texted Tony—two hours ago—he’d kind of expected a fairly prompt response. They hadn’t explicitly talked about it, but today was important. Today would have been, if nothing had gone so very wrong, the day that they got married. So, yes, Stephen would admit he’d expected to wake up to a text from Tony telling Stephen that Tony loved him.
That felt like a very reasonable thing to want, if anyone asked Stephen.
Admittedly, Tony wasn’t great at dates in a general sense, and without Stephen actually there, maybe Tony had completely forgotten what day it was. The thought made something twist in Stephen’s chest. He never really held Tony’s inability to remember dates or anniversaries without reminder against him. It was just one of Tony’s foibles, but he could acknowledge that it was harder now, when they were in the midst of a long-distance relationship where the most Stephen saw of Tony was his face on the other side of a video call once a week.
It left Stephen feeling a little needier for reassurance than he used to. Not in the least because it was Stephen who had chosen to leave. If Tony ever found the nature of their current relationship too much, then it would be Stephen’s fault it ended.
The thought plagued him as he let himself into the library. He still had a few books in his room he was reading, but he wanted some supplementary material on astral manipulation to expound on the chapter he was reading in his current book.
He scanned through the shelves, ignoring the way Wong was watching him eagle-eyed from the front. He opened a few books, scanning them quickly. His gaze caught on one page, talking about the base form of each magical element—source code of reality. Tony had laughed when Stephen had told him that the Ancient One had called the Mystic Arts that and had told Stephen that computer hacking and biohacking were both totally reasonable pursuits, but he was going to leave any sort of magic hacking to someone else.
His lip tugged up in an aborted smile, even as the anxiety spiked a little.
He just… he needed Tony to remember today. It didn’t mean anything, yet. It was still technically yesterday for Tony anyway, so Stephen didn’t need to feel so twisted up about it, but…
“I found someone,” Tony said, voice quiet as he wrapped Stephen’s hand in bandages. The last failed surgery was still a too recent memory and Stephen’s hands bore the newest marks. “During my research into surgery miracles. It was a case note of a surgery and physical therapy success.”
“Great,” Stephen muttered, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, escaping despite himself. “Someone out there didn’t have their life absolutely ruined. That makes me feel so much better about my own ruined life.”
Tony didn’t react beyond the slightest twitch of his fingers where they held the bandages. He’d only tried to tell Stephen once that his life wasn’t ruined, but Stephen had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want or need to hear that sort of optimistic tripe. Even if, sometimes, he looked at Tony in the bed next to him, unwilling to leave even when Stephen seemed unable to do anything other than systematically rip everything around him to pieces to match his own broken state of mind, and felt that still lingering knowledge that his life wasn’t as over as it felt.
And he wished he could tell Tony that, could tell Tony that as long as Stephen still had him, that Stephen could get through the rest of this. But the words always seemed trapped behind bitterness and hopelessness. The knowledge that he wanted—needed—Tony to stay and yet with every act got closer to losing him haunted Stephen. But if he could just say it, then maybe…
“The guy, Jonathon Pangborn, he was a part of a case study, so his somewhat redacted medical files were included,” Tony continued. “And I’m telling you right now that not even a perfect surgery and the best physical therapy in the world would have that man walking again.”
Stephen froze, looking at Tony fully for the first time since Tony had started in on the scheduled bandage change. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve tracked him down,” Tony continued. “He’s here in New York. I figured you and I could go talk to him. Maybe it’s nothing, but maybe it’s something.”
Stephen swallowed, a twisted hope that he knew better than to trust in causing an ache in his chest. “And if it’s nothing?” he asked. If it was nothing and Stephen continued in his unending spiral down, what would Tony do?
“Then we’ll figure out what’s next after that.”
Stephen couldn’t help wonder if ‘what’s next’ involved Tony leaving. Wished he could just ask. Just ask if Tony was leaving him, just ask if Stephen was pushing Tony past some invisible limit that Stephen wouldn’t realize he’d passed until it was in the rearview mirror, just ask if Tony could love him even when Stephen had lost every sense of who he even was, anymore.
“Strange.” Wong’s voice caught Stephen’s attention, pulling him out of the memory and the twisting spiral it was sending Stephen down. Because Stephen had never become too much for Tony back then, but that was before Stephen had left Tony. With permission, yes. But Stephen knew, knew, that being abandoned was far worse a crime in Tony’s eyes than being too much a bitter asshole. And what if…
He shook the thought away, turning to Wong. “What?” he asked. “This book isn’t beyond my skill level. I’m allowed to read it.” Of course, he didn’t let a book being beyond his skill level stop him, so it was a weak argument. But Wong might know Stephen was the one stealing books, but Stephen didn’t plan on ever actually confessing to that fact.
Still, he put the book away—he didn’t actually need that one right now—and moved closer to Wong’s desk, because he might as well actually ask Wong where the books he wanted were. He was the librarian. He noted with some surprise that Wong was busy transferring the data from his iPhone to a Stark phone. It was about time that Wong developed some taste. That iPhone was an affront to the senses. Stephen had told him as much, but Wong had seemed less than impressed with Stephen’s opinion on his technological choices. Tony had rubbed off on Stephen in a lot of ways, and Stephen was nothing if not loyal to Tony’s inventions. And while the Stark phone wasn’t one of Tony’s works of art, it was still Tony’s.
“Your current reading choices are of no concern to me,” Wong said as Stephen reached the desk. Which was totally a lie. Wong was protective of these books in a way that was almost scary. “I merely had a message to pass on. The Ancient One has informed me that she wishes for you to join her this morning in her visiting rooms.”
Stephen froze for a moment, caught off guard. “Do you know why?” he asked.
He didn’t think he’d done anything that would involve the Ancient One requesting his presence. Like all of the students at Kamar-Taj, the Ancient One took time to talk with him and discuss any matters of concern he had—or that others had with him, a few of his teachers thought Stephen was… ambitious—but he was rarely called to the small rooms of Kamar-Taj that were sectioned off for the Sorcerer Supreme. Stephen had the sinking feeling that he’d done something he wasn’t supposed to have done. He wasn’t sure what, because despite his striving for things ‘beyond him’, he didn’t exactly cause problems. And running head first into the Mystic Arts the way he did wasn’t actually against any rules. Just common sense, if Wong was asked, which was well and good, but Stephen didn’t plan on asking.
“I do not tend to ask the Ancient One to explain herself to me,” Wong said bluntly. “I am merely passing along the message. She is aware, like many of us, that the library is among your first stops in the day.” The way Wong said it sounded slightly exasperated. But that was fine, Stephen was pretty sure he was starting to grow on Wong.
“Did she want me right now?” Stephen double checked.
Wong looked seconds away from rolling his eyes. “Yes,” he said, expression a mix of disapproval and exasperation—Stephen was totally learning how to read Wong’s expressions, if he did say so himself. “Now leave.”
Well, that was just rude. Still, Stephen figured this might be one time when he should actually listen. Even after four months here, Stephen didn’t quite have a solid grasp on the Ancient One, but he did know she wasn’t the sort of person you kept waiting.
Stephen didn’t do nervous, at least not in terms of social interactions. It was completely anathema to the image he tried to portray and a completely intolerable state of being. So, again, he didn’t do nervous. But he had to admit being summoned to the Ancient One’s visiting rooms was giving him an emotion vaguely resembling the feeling.
It had Stephen needlessly tugging at his robes to ensure they were properly situated. He quite preferred to look put together, ignoring the fact that the Ancient One had most certainly seen him when he was a far call from put together. Being mugged in the street and cloaked in anger and despair hadn’t been his best look when he’d first arrived.
Though he imagined he could have looked worse, if he had approached Kamar-Taj in different circumstances. As it was, given the situation… Stephen might have arrived in a somewhat optimal condition.
The thought served to dampen his mild anxiety—that he absolutely wasn’t feeling—about being summoned to see the Ancient One, but only sparked that twisting fear that he still hadn’t heard from Tony today, even if there was still most of the day left for Tony to reach out, to tell Stephen…
To tell Stephen, today of all days, that he still loved him. That he wasn’t done waiting for Stephen.
The silence was thick between them, neither of them quite meeting each other’s eyes as they both tried to figure out what they were supposed to say. Stephen had opened his mouth several times since they’d gotten home after their talk with Pangborn, but each time he’d closed it again, not entirely sure what it was he’d meant to say.
I’m leaving? Possible, but Stephen couldn’t bring himself to say the words, because what if they were the wrong ones. So that couldn’t be what he’d been about to say. It’s not worth it; I’m not going to leave you. That was probably what he should say, Stephen knew. But that would mean throwing away the miracle that Jonathon Pangborn had offered him—Jonathon Pangborn who was walking when that should be impossible—that might get Stephen back into the operating room. We’ll find something else. Well, there’d be no point in saying that, because Tony would know Stephen didn’t mean it. Stephen’s hope had dwindled far past believing there was anything that would give him his hands back. He could hardly bring himself to believe that this chance was real.
But he desperately wanted it to be.
Except it wasn’t that easy. Because Pangborn had been clear. That Kamar-Taj might welcome him as a seeker for aid, but that if Stephen wanted a true chance, he had to go alone. That Stephen had to go without Tony. And not just for days or even weeks. Jonathon had said he’d been there almost two years.
He’d given off-handed reassurance that it wasn’t any sort of complete isolation; he’d been in contact with his sister the whole time, but… but Stephen still had to go alone.
It had been eight months since Stephen had asked Tony to marry him. Four months since his accident. Their wedding was supposed to be in four months—though so much of the planning had fallen to the wayside, even if Stephen had never quite let go of the certainty that it was there, something to hold onto when everything felt so dark—and Stephen was supposed to promise Tony forever.
And now… now Stephen’s only chance to get his hands back meant leaving. It had taken Pangborn almost two years to get the miracle to work for him. How long would it take Stephen?
Would Tony… Would Tony even give the idea of Stephen leaving him for that long a second worth of consideration?
“Right,” Tony said. “So… Kamar-Taj. You should go.”
Emotion choked in Stephen’s throat. Because what did that mean? “Two years is a long time,” he said quietly. Except he wasn’t sure it mattered how long it might take, because maybe by telling Stephen to go, Tony was telling Stephen to go in a far more permanent sense.
Maybe not an ultimatum in a purposeful sense, but just an acknowledgment that it was the inevitable result should Stephen make this choice.
Tony clearly knew how much Stephen wanted to take this chance. But did Tony think Stephen wanted this chance more than Stephen wanted Tony?
The longer the silence grew after Stephen’s acknowledgement of just how long it might take the more Stephen’s heart seemed to rend in on itself.
“Yeah,” Tony said finally, a heavy sort of emotion in his voice that spoke of grief. “It is.” The words did nothing to help. Was Tony grieving the thought of two years worth of separation or was he grieving the end of their relationship?
“The wedding is in four months,” Stephen said instead of asking.
More silence. “It doesn’t have to be.”
Stephen didn’t think Tony was being purposefully obtuse about what he meant—they could wait for the wedding? there didn’t have to be a wedding at all? Stephen still didn’t know—but god, couldn’t he just state it outright?
But then, Stephen supposed it wasn’t all on Tony. He could just ask outright. But that felt nigh impossible right now. Not when he was so afraid of the answer. For one wild moment he was tempted to ask Tony to marry him tomorrow, to steal a promise from Tony that he wouldn’t leave Stephen.
“I don’t have to go,” he said, because asking Tony to marry him tomorrow wasn’t fair or right, even if Stephen wanted it.
Tony’s gaze flickered up to meet his. “You want to.”
Stephen licked his lips, anxiety spiraling through him. “Of course I do,” he said. “I… I can get my hands back.”
“Then you should go.”
Except what would it cost!? Because… because there were some prices that might be too high. The question of it lurked between them and Stephen… Stephen needed to know. “Would you wait?” he asked, the question closer to a whisper than he wanted it to be. “I’d be… I’d be going without you.” The words didn’t quite encompass the truth of it. “I’d be leaving you.”
Tony ran a hand over his face, a tic that meant he was bordering on overwhelmed, that meant he felt the need to hide. “I love you,” Tony said. That wasn’t an answer, and Stephen opened his mouth to say as much, but Tony continued. “What we’ve got, Stephen. We’ve got real, genuine love.” Another pause. “This is true love, Stephen. Do you think this happens every day?” He looked up, met Stephen’s gaze. “A few years isn’t going to destroy that.”
It was both the hardest and the easiest thing in the world to believe Tony when he said that. “You think I should go.”
There was still grief in Tony’s eyes, but he nodded. “I do.”
“And you’d really… You’d really wait?” Emotion tangled inside of him again. “I can’t… I can’t lose you, Tony. You’re the only thing that’s kept me sane through all of this, and I can’t… I can’t go if it means losing you. I can’t go without knowing that you’ll still be here when I come back.”
“I’ll be here,” Tony promised. “And it’s not like we won’t talk. I’ve been improving your speech to text on your phone, anyway, so that’ll be easier. Easy, really.”
“It’s not the same,” Stephen said, because they had to be honest about this or it’d just make things harder. “It’s not the same as being here. It… it won’t be easy.”
A moment pause. “I know,” Tony said, a little reluctantly. “I know it won’t be easy. I’ll miss you every damn day. But there is nothing I want more than for you to be happy. It’s only two years.”
It was so much more than just two years.
But Tony had promised he’d still be here when Stephen came back, and in the end, Stephen wanted nothing more than to believe Tony.
Stephen knocked on the doors leading to the Ancient One’s visiting room. The door swung open, which Stephen took as an indication that he should enter.
”—kind of persistent, isn’t he? Drives people up the wall.” Stephen heard, the voice so familiar yet so unexpected that Stephen had a moment of dissonance. Perhaps the insistency in which his thoughts and been dwelling on Tony this morning was affecting his mental faculties, because why would Tony be here? Still, as he stepped past the door and fully into the room, Tony’s voice in his head proved to be far from some mental fluke, because Tony was right there, lounging on the ground across from the Ancient One whose expression was as indecipherable as always.
“I do think you and Master Wong will get along,” the Ancient One informed Tony while Stephen stood there frozen. “He has taken to complaining endlessly of many of Doctor Strange’s more persistent tendencies.”
“Oh, I know,” Tony said, shifting to look at Stephen and giving him a bright grin. “I’ve been texting him. He’s totally growing on me, and not just because I’ve promised him Beyonce tickets.”
“Tony?” Stephen whispered, mind still processing the sight of Tony in the Ancient One’s quarters, wearing a crisp white shirt and dark vest and looking both entirely out of place and like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. It was one of Tony’s gifts; he made a space for himself everywhere he went, creating a place where he could belong even when it shouldn’t be possible.
“Hey, Stephen,” Tony said, glint in his eyes that meant he knew Stephen was floundering. “Miss me?”
Stephen’s mouth went dry, because yes. “I literally texted you this morning,” Stephen said. “And we called three days ago. How could I possibly miss you?” The teasing denial fell flat, because Stephen was sure his longing and love infected every single word.
“I know,” Tony said. “You just can’t get a break from me.” He pushed himself to his feet and crossed the space to Stephen quickly. The kiss was quick and soft, before Tony pulled Stephen in for a genuine embrace. Their bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces meant for each other and the ache in Stephen’s chest that had lingered all morning dissipated. “I missed you, too,” Tony whispered.
For a long, perfect moment, Stephen just held Tony.
Tony was here. Tony was here.
“You remembered,” Stephen said, though there was a good chance that the words got lost with the way Stephen had nearly buried his nose in Tony’s hair, smelling the same old tea tree scented shampoo that Stephen had picked and converted Tony into using.
“Had to redeem myself after last year,” Tony said. He pulled back and Stephen was loathe to let him go even the slightest bit, but he did. “And there was very little that would have stopped me from seeing you today of all days. Luckily I’m charming and the Ancient One is secretly a romantic.”
Stephen was going to bet it had far more to do with Tony being charming than the Ancient One being a secret romantic.
“It was your persistence, Mr. Stark, more so than your charm that resulted in your presence here,” the Ancient One said, reminding Stephen that he and Tony weren’t actually alone. “That and your rather remarkable ability to break the rules in fascinating ways. It is no wonder that you and Doctor Strange are as well-matched for each other as you are.”
Stephen wasn’t sure he wanted to know what rules Tony had gone around breaking, but he was sure he’d find out. “Thank you,” he told the Ancient One. “For… for letting him come.”
“He was persuasive,” the Ancient One said. She looked at Tony. “We still require a conversation on your infiltration of our wards.” Tony had what!? “But that is for later. For now, I hope you and Doctor Strange enjoy you day together.”
“That’s the plan,” Tony said. He looked at Stephen, and the look in his eyes made every single one of Stephen’s fears disappear. “Want to show me around?” he asked.
“I want to show you everything,” Stephen said. He caught Tony’s hand, pulling Tony out of the Ancient One’s visiting rooms, joy speeding his steps—that and his desire to get Tony alone—as his mind raced through everything he could show Tony in one single day.
But even as his mind raced, he recognized that it didn’t really matter what they did. Because, Tony was here, which meant that, at least for today, they’d be doing it together.