Chapter Text
It was a bright, sunny day as Cleo Sertori walked into her school building, her two best friends Emma and Rikki by her side. The three of them were laughing about something one of them said, bouncing quips off each other that they readily returned. Cleo was being a bit quiet, as she usually was nowadays. Emma and Rikki were able to pick up her slack in the conversation, though, and Cleo was grateful for that much.
Her first period was biology, which she dreaded. Luckily she had caught up in the class and was no longer failing. Then she had English, History, Math, art, and Chemistry. Two science classes in a semester was almost crippling her, but she had signed up for the Chemistry with Lewis. They had no other classes together. It used to be fun, but now...
Cleo shook herself out of her thoughts as the three girls went to their lockers. It didn't matter, all she would have to do is get through the day. And avoid Charlotte as much as possible, but she knew in order to talk to Lewis, she would have to tolerate the red head at least a little.
Lewis walked up to her now, smiling. He seemed alone as well. It was moments like this, Cleo got a little hope. She smiled at him as he approached. "Hey, Lewis!"
"Hello, Cleo. How is your morning?"
"It's going alright. I still have Kim doing the dishes for me, but she raised her prices again."
"Oh no," Lewis fought a smile. "That's no good."
"Yeah, I know." Cleo shook her head, still smiling. "How was--"
Cleo was about to ask how Lewis' own morning had gone, before Charlotte was there, clinging onto his arm. "Lewis! We're going to be late for class!" The other girl looked towards Cleo, still smiling, but there was a hard glint in her eye that held pure animosity. Ever since Lewis' party last weekend, Charlotte was even more of a nasty person. It was hard for anyone to hang out with Lewis, because she was always there to direct the conversation, and demand his attention.
Cleo might have been a little resentful. She just stood there as Lewis and Charlotte walked away, Lewis throwing her an apologetic smile over his shoulder. Turning towards Emma, Cleo groaned. "Can you believe her?"
Emma shook her head. "Unfortunately, I can. We need to stay away from her."
"I wish I could. She is always where Lewis is."
Emma nodded sympathetically. "I know, it sucks. Come on, let's get to class..."
Cleo went through her day as usual, dedicating her attention to her studies. By the time Chemistry came around, she wasn't feeling quite as sullen. Even though she had to be in the same class as Lewis and Charlotte, she didn't have to interact with them at all. She resolved to ignore them for the most part.
Since Charlotte had started dating Lewis, she had insisted that they switch lab partners. Lewis had given in too easily, Cleo thought. So now she was partners with a boy named Jeremy. He was pretty nice, at least. He was quite tall and had lean muscles. His sandy blonde hair was short and sideswept perfectly at all times. The golden shade contrasted quite well with his tanned skin and hazel eyes. He was a surfer and a part of the popular crowd. Cleo was pretty sure he and Miriam had dated briefly at one time.
As Cleo walked up to her table, looking straight past Charlotte and Lewis, the boy smiled over at her and waved. His goggles were askance on his face, making Cleo giggle. She sat next to him and put on her own goggles.
"Wait, you got them caught on your hair," Jeremy remarked. He reached over and tucked some of her hair away behind her ear, adjusting her goggles for her. Cleo blushed and looked over to where Lewis sat involuntarily. He seemed like he was paying attention to what the teacher was writing on the whiteboard, but maybe his jaw was clenched...
The class went by as normal as they listened to the teachers lecture on monosaccharides. Cleo kept her attention on her notebook and the teachers demonstration, pointedly ignoring the part of the room where Lewis and Charlotte sat.
By the end of the class, Jeremy had leaned in close to her, placing something on the table in front of her. Looking to see what it was, Jeremy talked in her ear. "I'm having a party tonight. You should come."
She looked over at him, blushing at his proximity. She hesitated and looked away briefly, when she met the eyes of Lewis from across the room. He was still packing up his stuff, but he was watching them with a hard-set look on his face. Cleo quickly looked back at Jeremy, smiling mischievously.
"Sure, why not?"
During lunch hour, she had excitedly sat at the outdoor table with Emma and Rikki and told them all about it.
"Jeremy gave me this!" She excitedly placed the paper onto the table, a bright smile on her face. "Isn't that great?"
At first it didn't register to her the expressions on her friends faces. Rikki had her eyebrows raised and mouth twisted to the side, hiding a teasing grin. Emma had pursed her mouth together disapprovingly.
"You don't want to go to that party, Cleo." Emma had said almost immediately. "Think about it. Jeremy runs with a rough crowd. His parties have drugs. And alcohol."
Rikki burst out laughing at that. "Oh yes, you mustn't let anyone steer you into destroying your innocence."
Emma glared at Rikki, her brows knitting together in defensiveness. "It's not funny. We shouldn't do things like that."
Cleo frowned, understanding her friend's reservations, but feeling a bit patronized. "I know, Emma. I can handle myself. I wouldn't do those things...I'm never invited to parties. I thought it would be fun."
Rikki smiled and nodded at Cleo and then looked over at Emma pointedly. "Yeah, see? Cleo is a big girl. But if you go, let me know and I'll come too. You probably shouldn't go alone."
Emma shook her head, still defiant but lightening up a bit. "It's not a good idea. I'm not going."
Cleo bit her lip and nodded. She couldn't help but feel a little spurned. Why did her friends treat her like a child sometimes? She didn't need a babysitter.
Zane ran up to their table and sat down next to Rikki, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at Emma and Cleo. "Hey guys."
"Hi, Zane..." Cleo greeted quietly, underneath Rikki's more lively "Hey!"
He caught the look on their faces, Emma's tight and Cleo's downtrodden. "What's up?"
Emma gestured to the invitation sitting on the table. "Do you think that's going to be a good party to go to?"
Zane squinted and turned the invitation towards himself so he could read. "Um, probably not. I don't think this is much your guys' scene. It's not even a party I would go to."
Rikki raised her eyebrows at him in disbelief.
"What, it's true! Maybe when I was a freshman."
"Or maybe before you were dating me, last month." Rikki joked, poking him in the stomach.
The couple laughed, and even Emma smiled a bit. There was no way to disagree. But Cleo scowled, not understanding why it was okay for Zane to go to parties and be cool, while Cleo herself couldn't. She slid the paper invitation back into her pocket.
"Cleo was wanting to go," Emma pointed out to Zane. Oh great, now they were talking like she wasn't here. Cleo glared between them.
Zane chuckled a bit, looking over at Cleo. "That's not a good idea. Seriously." Seeing her blank, gloomy stare, Zane sighed and shook his head. "It's not that you can't go, Cleo. I wouldn't advise it."
Emma nodded her head in a way Cleo thought was rather superior. "Fine," Cleo snapped. She didn't mean it, though. Across the school field, Lewis was walking with Charlotte, finding a place to sit. They were holding hands. Cleo watched them quietly. She wanted to do something, anything, that would let her get her mind off of that.
Cleo was alone as she walked up to the spacious house, already full of people, muffled music and bass sounding from where she stood on the sidewalk. She stood there a few moments, soaking it in, feeling nervous. Jeremy was nice, right? He had invited her of all people to this party when he really didn't have to. And she was pretty sure he had been flirting with her for as long as she had been his new lab partner...She wondered if it made Lewis jealous. She hoped he was. And she didn't even care.
She now walked up the front lawn, ignoring the odd couple making out and high people lounging out looking at the stars. She had that invitation in her Jean skirt pocket, just in case anyone questioned her presence.
Nobody seemed to notice her presence at all, though she looked around hopefully for anyone she knew. Did these people go to her school? She recognized a few of them, but most people were strangers and seemed older. Maybe they were college kids.
She walked inside and the music bombarded her senses. She fought the urge to cough as smoke entered her lungs, and the lights were too bright. She squinted and stumbled past people towards what looked like a drink table.
"Well hello," a familiar voice sounded from behind her, their breath hot on her neck. She flung around and almost fell over, facing Jeremy who grinned at her like a Cheshire Cat, drink in hand. "You came!"
"Yeah!" Cleo smiled, happy to have been welcomed so warmly.
"Do you want a drink?" Jeremy gestured to the table behind her, but Cleo felt an uncomfortable pit in her stomach.
"Nothing with alcohol please!"
Jeremy laughed, sliding past her, but still remaining in her vicinity.
"Really? Aren't you here to have fun?"
"Yeah! I just don't want to—"
"Don't worry about it, Cleo! It won't be much, it will help you loosen up. Trust me." The tall boy was already pouring her something, but she couldn't see with his back turned to her. She felt nervous, but was already curious about what it was like to really party. She was already here, and the atmosphere was overwhelming. Perhaps she did need to loosen up.
Jeremy turned around with another cup in his hand, and he smiled at her as he handed it to her. "Here you go! It's my specialty."
She took it slowly, trying not to feel awkward as she brought it up to her lips for a sip. It tasted very fruity, and a little bitter, but over all not awful. She smiled over the brim of her cup at him and nodded her head. "It's good!"
This made Jeremy laugh. "I'm glad! You know something, you look really cute tonight."
Cleo blushed, taken aback by the compliment. She definitely was not used to this. For some reason, her mind strayed to a certain blond boy who liked to fish...
"You okay?" Jeremy stepped closer and placed his hand on her shoulder. He was a good head and a half taller than her.
"Y-yes! Sorry!"
"Man, you really are a light weight. Do you want to dance?"
Cleo took a gulp of her drink, willing herself to calm down. Her heart was racing, her blood warm in her veins. "Yes! Let's dance!"
Jeremy placed his hand in between her shoulder blades and led her to the living room, where people were dancing together to the music, an amalgamation of bodies. Cleo felt the room close around her as she became a part of the crowd, Jeremy swaying in front of her. She did her best to match his movements, her own body moving slow and lethargic. And she was getting a little dizzy. Maybe she was a lightweight. She took another sip of the drink to calm her nerves.
This went on for she doesn't even know how long. She liked the feel of it, she wasn't her own person, she was becoming one with the music and the other people dancing beside her. She finished her drink, and the room became even more of a fuzz. Cleo was aware of hands on her body, keeping her upright. Distantly, someone laughed. She fell into a sleep, lulled into it by the music and whatever was in her drink. Her last thought was of a far away worry that she couldn't quite reach.
When Cleo awoke, her head hurt. And her body felt like lead. Dry tongue. She groaned and turned to the side, hissing out in pain. Her muscles were quite sore, and...
She shot up and grasped at her clothes, panicking. Things were blurry, but she remembered dancing with Jeremy last night...what happened after? She didn't think she fell asleep. She sobbed out her breaths and doubled over to vomit the side of the bed. Her jaw hurt to open.
She felt dirty. She didn't have underwear on under her skirt, and she was strangely sticky. Her button-up pink shirt was open and she was braless. After emptying her stomach, she frantically looked for her underthings in the dark room. She knew what that could mean, and the thought horrified her as well as spurned her into action.
Had she...had sex? Did someone touch her? She couldn't remember a thing after dancing with Jeremy.
Cleo tried to evade the ever growing sadness. Embarrassment. Pain. She felt violated, like she was a disgusting, discarded piece of garbage. She needed to get as far away from that place as possible.
She gave up her search after a few moments and took to buttoning up her shirt with shaking fingers. When she was done the buttons were not aligned, but it was good enough.
Her bag was also missing. It was probably downstairs somewhere, though she couldn't recall where she could have left it. She felt her panic rise up as she tried to stand on shaky legs. Her muscles hurt. She was sore in places she didn't want to think about. She needed to get clean. But she couldn't here, who knew who's house this was, and she had a secret to uphold.
Slowly, she made her way out of the room and into the hallway. She tripped and stumbled over someone's legs. She made it to the stairs. One foot at a time, one step at a time. That's all she could manage thinking about. Then she would find her bag, and her phone, and....god, her parents wouldn't be looking for her. They thought she was having a sleepover at Emma's.
She made it in to the main room, which was mostly deserted save for the few sleeping mounds on the couches and one girl who was curled up on a rug. The sun was rising outside, so at least Cleo had a little bit of light to look for her bag.
She found it under the couch. The strap had been poking out. As soon as she had it in her hands, she was heading towards the door and trying not to cry too loud. Luckily she still had shoes on.
As soon as she was outside, she was running. Towards home? She wasn't quite sure anymore. She just needed to get away. When she got down the street, she tripped and caught herself on her hands. It hurt. She couldn't get herself to get up.
She laid there a few moments, sobbing. What had happened? How could she let that happen? She was missing a memory, but she knew it couldn't have been good. Slowly, she sat up and rifled in her bag and took out her phone. She slid it open and opened her contacts, scrolling through them. Call mom? Dad? No way. They would be so mad at her. Emma? Rikki? She just couldn't...Emma would say I told you so, and Rikki would not know what to say. She couldn't put it on them. Lewis? Absolutely not. He would surely hate her. He would be disgusted. She was disgusted. He wouldn't like her anymore (he already didn't).
Aggressively shoving the phone back into her bag, Cleo stood up stiffly and began shambling down the street once again. She knew where she was going.
By the time Cleo made it to the beach, the sun had risen. People were beginning to be out and about, on their morning jogs and commuting to work. Cleo had stopped crying, but she was numb. She kept her eyes on the ground as she focused on walking. She watched her feet until pavement became sand, and she was raising her eyes to the horizon, and she was going to that familiar crop of rocks and ditching her bag and her shoes and she was running towards the water. She didn't want to be human anymore.