Show it to me
As their kiss became heated, Poe realized he should ask if there was something Ben wanted. He never said it out loud and his answer was always the same, always a ‘whatever you want’ that could do two things to Poe: broke his heart because this man, after so long, could not get he deserved to want and to ask, or make him roll his eyes for the same reason, just a little bit frustrated with the situation but never wanting to push anything, so he tried not to show any of it. There was no way he was going to be part of Ben’s constant pain over people rejecting him in spitewhat else he has done right now. Yeah, he got it; sometimes he felt too conflicted to even look at him when the dark shadow of memories came back, when Ben himself was into deep on his own and the entire house seemed like a grey sky without rain, only cold and expecting. But not today, he decided. This was a day to broke those walls between them, today was a day for them to talk or to get into a mutual understanding about how to ask for stuff on their bed life.
So, he smiled when Ben refused to say a word and only looked aside, face all red and neck starting to get in the party of his blush. Once Snap said Poe had the patience of a saint while almost drunk, he had smiled realizing maybe that’s why he was perfect for his force user: part of the success of their relationship was talking and understanding, and of course, being patient. And Ben was patient with him, too; especially when Poe would get a little too frustrated with certain situations at two am when the younger man would put his cold feet against his legs and wake him up just to say hecan’t sleep, the shadow in the corner looks weird, ‘it’s nothing, baby, please sleep’ and the next morning? Poe hated himself for not listening to Ben. He shook his head, trying to get those feelings and memories away. Not the damn time, not the damn time.
“I think we should find a way to… maybe indicate what we are into at the moment, you know?” Ben only nodded, eyes still on the patterns of the bed sheets. “That way we can enjoy it more.”
“I like what you like.” Which is true, but still. Poe smiled at him when Ben’s eyes searched for his. “I mean it. It’s okay for me.”
“Yeah, but let’s put it this way: one day you don’t feel like fucking, you just want kisses and cuddles. Or maybe you want to fuck me stupid, and maybe I’m into that too at the moment, but none of us say a thing because we shy away the idea by not being an actual couple who say stuff to the other.”
“Um…” He murmured, then looked away again and Poe started to move his fingers in nervous patterns over his bare chest, both nested in their bed, BB-8 being babysitten by Finn and Rey for the night. Free night for them, it was the perfect moment to talk about this. “You-you know it costs me to talk openly, Poe.”
“I know! I know, baby. That’s why I though… maybe a signal? A gesture with our fingers? eyes? I don’t know, something. The Force, if you want! But something.” Ben looked at him again, that expression of frustration on his face, he was going to protest, so Poe started better: “I want this to be good for both of us. I don’t want to feel like you think you are obligated to do the things I offer to you all the time, and I would love to do things you want to you, or let you do to me. It… it would be-”
“Nicer.” Ben concluded and Poe smiled, kissing the tip of his nose as a yes. “It would be nicer…” He repeated, more for himself than for Poe. And the older man sighed, hoping this was enough for his boyfriend to agree and search for the thing. “I— I can show you.”
“What do you mean?”
He lifted his hand, fingers moving to indicate the- The Force. Oh. Oh, well that was interesting. Of course, if they could share memories and words through the bond Ben had put between them in their minds thanks to the power of his family, he could project thinking, right? So his wishes would be like- a porn. A holoporn of themselves on his mind. Alright, that’s great. Poe smiled and nodded, he was maybe too enthusiast with the idea but if Ben found it weird, he didn’t show any indication of being uncomfortable. Usually, the Force user would not want to lurk on his mind, no matter the consent in there. Mostly because he use of the power had being reduced by his own will since day one after he came back; the younger man tried to not use it as much as he could.
But this was different.
This was them and their lifes together, coming into terms with thier posibilities and the way they wanted their bed life to be, and Poe appreciated when Ben would try to succed in their ideas together. He smiled a little when the fingers of his thinkering touched the first layers of his mind, it always felt like ticklish for some reason; Ben looked right into his eyes while doing it and suddenly, everything was more palpable and intimate, theirs. If he was breathing, he didn’t notice; his entire body was hot but cold on his hands and feet, soon a new idea started to travel through his body: desire, a passion that only meant Ben Organa Solo for a time by now, and a image started to pop on there.
Poe blushed, just at the same time Ben did. Was it him or Ben? The pilot’s fingers reached Ben’s and smiled, slowly going for a sweet kiss while the image became more and more clear. Then, Ben all sweaty and red, body shaking with the strenght of an orgasm moving all around his body and Poe on top of him, Poe’s lips leaving marks on his neck, Poe’s hand around his softening cock, Poe’s cock nested between his legs, inside him, filling him with deep, hard thrusts, one and then two, and Poe coming inside him.
Ben smiled, blush all over his face. “That’s… that’s actually a memory.”
“Yeah, I know! My birthday…” He said, and his lips were peppering Ben’s face with kisses. “You want that, love? You want me inside you?” And he nodded. “You got it, babe.”
“So…” The force user started, hands around Poe’s neck while the older man kissed his and his hands traveled all around his body. “Does this works?”
“You showing me dirty stuff of us? Definitely!”
Actually, he could think of a thing or two to show Ben too, if he could learn how to throw that to him on their bond. Damn, he could think of so much more and so many ways to use their new system, if Ben was comfortable with it. Ben’s kiss, always so soft and wet, answered everything he needed in that moment and the image on their minds started to disappear and give space to this, the bunch of kisses and red marks on their bodies, all caresses and sweet laughs, smiles becoming moans and their bond floating like tender air between them.