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Calliope was over again. We were laying on my couch and talking. Half an hour ago, her hand had wormed its way into mine. Every minute that passed by, she got closer. Both physically and mentally.
Three hours, she'd been with me today. Longer than anyone had ever stayed. I've never had a friend before, so our conversation started awkwardly, but luckily she helped to guide me. It was kind of like talking to a really consistent commenter.
"Well, you can't blame yourself for all of that. Your parents weren't very good ones." She said, voice soothing. Her fingers squeezed mine.
"I just didn't know it was supposed to be any different."
"Neither did I until I spoke to an online friend about it," She laughed, but her tone was absent of any humor.
"It's just hard to fathom that it's meant to be... better than that." My own words felt alien. It was somewhat of a shock to learn that silence and isolation was not how families functioned. Not that Calliope's had been much different. Our stories are kinda similar. Calliope seemed to have it all worked out, though. I couldn't help but wonder how she managed it.
"I know, but, I still think you've done well surviving this long. Living like you sounds hard." That's right, twenty minutes after she came in she caught the sight of blood seeping through my sleeves. The girl happened to have a first aid kit on her and patched me up. I could barely feel anything at all if I wasn't cutting myself, but she seemed to understand my relationship with it.
"Living like you sounds harder. At least I'm used to living like me." Her other hand grazed over my arm at my words.
"Still, cut yourself some slack. Even with everything, you're still beautiful." The words left her so easily. This was the first time anyone had ever said those words to my face that wasn't a skeevy old man. Sure, my fans said it all the time, but are they even really people behind those screens? How can they so unanimously decide I'm gorgeous if they haven't ever seen me in person?
"Beautiful," I tried the word on my tongue, my body feeling uncharacteristically hot. Calliope's eyes were too scary to meet all of a sudden. My stomach swirled with an unsettling sense of validation. One thought became overwhelmingly loud in my mind; do not let her slip away. I wanted more of her kind words. More, and more, and more, until Calliope's vocal cords died out.
"Yes. You're quite literally the most stunning person I've, like, ever met." She tilted my chin to look me in the eyes, her touch electric. Fear ebbed at the corner of my mind, something telling me to run as far as I could. I pushed it away. "No word of a lie. Vivienne, you are so stunning."
My face burned. Was this what love was supposed to feel like? To be like?
"Am I... Really?"
"I will tell you every minute of every day if it means you'll believe me. You are so," Her fingers travelled over my exposed thigh scars, easily wrapping her hand around majority of my thigh. "Perfect. Just like this, even at the worst." The adoration in her eyes was so raw it was almost terrifying. As scared as I was, though, I couldn't force myself to follow my judgement and pull away. I wanted more, well and truly.
Calliope came back the next day with a restocked first aid kit.